IMAGE  EVALUATION 
TEST  TARGET  (MT-3) 


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HiotogTE^hic 

Sciences 

Carporation 


23  WIST  MAIN  STMIT 

WIUTIR,N.Y.  MSM 

( 71* )  •72-4503 


CIHM/ICMH 

Microfiche 

Series. 


CIHIVl/ICIVIH 
Collection  de 
microfiches. 


Camdian  InttltuM  for  Hinorical  Mlcroraptoductiont  /  liutHut  Canadian  da  mlcrorapraductlona  hiatoriquaa 


Tachnical  and  Bibliographic  Notas/Notas  tachniqua*  at  bibiiographiquaa 


Tha  Inatituta  haa  attamptad  to  obtain  tha  baat 
original  copy  availabia  for  filming.  Faaturaa  of  thia 
copy  which  may  ba  bibliographically  uniqua. 
which  may  altar  any  of  tha  imagaa  in  tha 
raproductlon.  or  which  may  aignificantly  ehanga 
tha  uaual  mathod  of  filming,  ara  chackad  balow. 


D 
D 
D 
D 
D 
D 

n 

D 
D 


Colourad  covara/ 
Couvartura  da  coulaur 

Covara  damagad/ 
Couvartura  andommagia 

Covara  raatorad  and/or  laminatad/ 
Couvartura  raatauria  at/ou  palliculAa 

Covar  titia  miaaing/ 

La  titra  da  couvartura  manqua 

Colourad  mapa/ 

Cartaa  giographiquaa  w\  coulaur 

Colourad  ink  (l.a.  othar  than  blua  or  black)/ 
Encra  da  coulaur  (l.a.  autra  qua  blaua  ou  noira) 

Colourad  plataa  and/or  illuatrationa/ 
Planchaa  at/ou  illuatrationa  an  coulaur 

Bound  with  othar  matarial/ 
RaliA  avac  d'autraa  documanta 

Tight  binding  may  cauaa  ahadowa  or  diatortion 
along  intarior  margin/ 

La  re  liura  aarria  paut  cauaar  da  I'ombra  ou  da  la 
diatortion  la  long  da  la  marga  intiriaura 

Blank  laavaa  addad  during  raatoration  may 
appaar  within  tha  taxt.  Whanevar  poaaibia,  thaaa 
hava  baan  omittad  from  filming/ 
II  aa  paut  qua  cartainaa  |>agaa  blanchaa  ajouttea 
lora  d'una  raatauratlon  apparaiaaant  dana  la  taxta. 
mala,  loraqua  cala  Atait  poaaibia,  caa  pagaa  n'ont 
paa  AtA  filmAaa. 


0    Additional  commanta:/ 
Commantairaa  supplimantairaa: 


Various  pagingt. 


L'Inatitut  a  microfilmi  la  maillaur  axamplaira 
qu'il  lui  a  tit  poaaibia  da  aa  procurer.  Laa  dAtalla 
da  cat  axamplaira  qui  aont  paut-Atra  uniquaa  du 
point  da  vua  bibliographiqua.  qui  pauvant  modif  iar 
una  imaga  raproduita,  ou  qui  pauvant  axigar  una 
modification  dana  la  mAthoda  normaia  da  filmaga 
aont  indiquAa  ci-daaaoua. 


I     I   Colourad  pagaa/ 


D 


Thia  itam  ia  filmed  at  the  reduction  ratio  chackad  below/ 

Ce  document  aat  filmi  au  taux  da  reduction  indiqu*  ci-daaaoua. 

10X  14X  18X  22X 


Pagaa  da  coulaur 

Pagaa  damaged/ 
Pagaa  andommagtea 

Pagaa  raatorad  and/or  laminated/ 
Pagaa  reataurAea  at/ou  pelliculiea 

Pagaa  diacoloured.  atainad  or  foxed/ 
Pagaa  dAcoiortea.  tachatAea  ou  piquiaa 

Pagaa  detached/ 
Pagaa  ditach^aa 


1 

P 
o 
f 


C 

b 
tl 

a 
o 
fi 

a 
o 


/I   Showthrough/ 
'   Tranaparanca 


I     I   Quality  of  print  variaa/ 


Qualit6  inAgale  de  I'impreaaion 

Includea  aupplamentary  material/ 
Comprend  du  matiriai  aupplAmentaira 

Only  adition  available/ 
Sauia  Mition  diaponible 


Pagaa  wholly  or  partially  obacurad  by  errata 
alipa.  tiaauaa,  etc..  have  baen  refiimed  to 
enaura  the  best  possible  image/ 
Les  pages  totalement  ou  partiellement 
obscurcies  par  un  feuillet  d'errata,  une  peiure. 
etc.,  ont  M  filmAaa  A  nouveau  de  fapon  A 
obtenir  ia  mailleure  image  possible. 


T 
al 
T 
w 

h 
di 
ai 
bi 

ril 
ra 
m 


26X 


30X 


V 


12X 


16X 


»X 


24X 


28X 


32X 


Th«  copy  fllmMl  h«r«  hat  bMn  r«produc«d  thanks 
to  tha  ganaroaity  of: 

National  Library  of  Canada 


L'axamplaira  film4  fut  raproduh  grica  i  la 
gAnArosit*  da: 

BIbliothAqua  nationala  du  Canada 


Tha  imagas  appaaring  hara  ara  tha  baat  quality 
poMibIa  considaring  tha  condition  and  lagibllity 
of  tha  original  copy  and  In  kaaping  with  tha 
filming  contract  •pacifications. 


Laa  Imagas  suivantas  ont  4tA  raproduitas  avac  la 
plus  grand  soin,  compta  tanu  da  la  condition  at 
da  la  nattatA  do  l'axamplaira  f iimA,  at  an 
conformity  avac  las  conditions  du  contrat  6» 
fllmaga. 


Original  coplas  in  printad  papar  covers  ara  filmad 
beginning  with  tha  front  covar  and  anding  on 
tha  last  paga  with  a  printad  or  illustratad  Impras- 
sion.  or  tha  back  covar  whan  appropriata.  All 
othar  orlgihiKi  copies  ara  filmad  beginning  on  the 
first  page  with  a  printad  or  illuatrated  Impres- 
sion, and  ending  on  the  last  paga  with  a  printed 
or  illustrated  impression. 


Les  exempiaires  orlginaux  dont  la  couverture  en 
papier  est  ImprlmAe  sent  filmte  en  commen^ant 
par  la  premier  plat  at  en  terminant  soit  par  la 
darnlAre  page  qui  comporte  une  empreinte 
d'Impression  6u  d'iilustratlon,  soit  par  la  second 
plat,  salon  la  cas.  Tous  les  autres  exempiaires 
orlginaux  sont  filmis  en  commenpant  par  la 
pramlAre  page  qui  comporte  une  empreinte 
d'Impression  ou  d'iilustratlon  at  en  terminent  per 
la  dernlAre  page  qui  comporte  une  telle 
empreinte. 


The  last  recorded  frame  on  each  microfiche 
shell  contein  the  symbol  — ►  (meaning  "CON- 
TINUED"), or  the  symbol  y  (meaning  "END  "), 
whichever  applies. 


Un  dee  symboies  suivants  apparattra  sur  la 
darnlAre  imege  de  cheque  microfiche,  seion  ie 
cas:  la  symbols  — ►  signifie  "A  SUIVRE",  le 
symbols  ▼  signifie  "FIN". 


Maps,  plates,  charts,  etc.,  may  be  filmed  at 
different  reduction  ratios.  Those  too  large  to  be 
entirely  included  in  one  exposure  are  filmed 
beginning  in  the  upper  left  hend  corner,  left  to 
right  and  top  to  bottom,  as  many  frames  as 
required.  The  following  diagrams  illustrate  the 
method: 


Les  cartes,  planches,  tableaux,  etc.,  peuvent  Atre 
fiimAs  A  dee  taux  de  reduction  diff Arents. 
Lorsque  ie  document  est  trop  grand  pour  Atre 
reproduit  en  un  seul  clichA,  11  est  fllmA  A  partir 
de  Tangle  supArieur  gauche,  de  gauche  A  droite, 
et  de  haut  en  bas,  en  prenant  le  nombre 
d'Images  nAcessaire.  Les  diagrammes  suivants 
iliustrent  la  mAthodo. 


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ilomillw'Ktlla^uio^thejr  imtb  hui^  ihr  hinb  j-^j^lm, 
lllomjAm^hnm  oo^iwn;  JkMi>go  b^socb,  and  toim^ 
pMm  maim:  M  JipiA  kejw,  «liiidi'  ^nimirte3^& 
mmmtd  mBf  kmkedSfitiw  Bo^^*  Uke..  A  viiit  ^  ii» 
*•*»  W^perii«pf»  I  tikoughn  teraed  thif  ColMr/Mk 
foto  a  Tankee  fbp.  Of  what  consequenoe  iMtWtr^ 
.^4ia  mim^>^  eitbei  oaselJmd  no^  t^  d^Tnili' 
Mf  !4ilm4oMi|b«ir  kit  aoquaiataootfUQr  t^b  Mv 
mi i«l09|id«Qt^biil  aik  m^raelf  wlv>«an tl^ii am^il 
mmmo^:$pimmt^.0i&d  %  Hiat  tbera.  ia  acoiiit  sqU^ 
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iiMliMl^]M^fit/|»doiKitii^cueuitt  Ito 
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his ' '         '  •  ••  —       • 


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wmmmem  of  eoaatoM»iea»  t|iat  expioHHoo,  in  jiiiL  w^ 

ehaMMteriatio  of  the  cle»f,  ^IF^ 

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4ndieiiloue>  I  thought  lo  myiiein  ia  thja;  I  will  lemeSh. 

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wfil  iell  it  to  liim.  ^       s «' 

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#^  #?*^  ^^*t  *  reapectiltfe  old  nian,  who  hM  twdbtt 

iRiOd'fiie  fttiuO  of  tkae  tetter  than  most  of  his  ndgltboaY^ 

roiie  i^gbt >%e  fto^  etev^mm 

amn  ma*    After  the  usual  salutation,  an  inyitafioaW 

lid.    The  aeacoh  ^isa'k  htmdxieid  aoKs  % 
«id  ihi/ddiKlMt  «j^  lil^irty.   ^« 
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^i^plirt»?.MIl?eHrintervde4f  y^^^ 
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mm  lo#  they  fly  t  Well,  I  prarame,  w»  shall  hav*  rain 
lUbH  away,  and  them  lUHay  oritten,  thepi  gulla,  bow  olo^ 
tlMy  keep  to  the  water, down  therein  tha flhubcoiaoadiiii 
ipi  that^s  a  sure  ugn.  If  we  study  natur,  wt^don^  ipiuip 
i|p" thermometer.  But  I  guasa  we  shall  be  miUm»^^ 
miifff'  oover  in  a  ihingie-makiBr's  shed,  about  |hfeaniMa 
anJMd-on  us*  ■■'■.<^'i 

vtVie  had  just  reached  tiw  deserted  horal  when  thafdii 
Mi  m^  torrents*  t^,^0>. 

I  reckon,  said  the  cbekmaker,  as  he  sat  himsetf  diiii>H: 
on  a  bundfe  of  shiafdea,  I  reckon  they  are  ba<^off^ibr  ima 
iil^liiis^i^Mmtry.  meik  a  ieller  is  too  laisy  tawaik  hm^W 
flMiMs  yt  name  ov^r  his  dopr,  and  oallait  a  mep^^mtkmi 
IQdi^  as voot*  be'«iake8;  the  whole  neighjbiiiiihood  ai laniiiw^ 
h^slf  »it  je^bowtas  easy  to  find  m^^M*  iuiJii^Iiallfliiii 
ai  tt  is  to  find  wocd.  on  a  gdat*s  bade*  An  imi^  to  ba%«ock; 
0^iMarn»|kiust  be  built  a  f^iipose,  yoa«aiiJK>ttBiampii» 
^pd  ti^vieiti^  out  of  a  ooumon  dweUiag-bouaa,  I  annni^  (faiR^ 
il^||»od  coat  oiii of  an.  <4d  pair  of  trovnenk  :  TheyVaaai 
timiaii  laay,  you  may  4epeadr-iiow  thJene  mitthl  be  ^i 
|teid  ^peo  maoa  there  in  buildlog  a  good  Inn  and  A^^fooi 
CQbitreh.  /What  a  sacrilegious  al]3^unnatlI^d^  wioB,  saii'^' 
wltk  ^Ifppat  uiMiflfeeted  sMrprise* '  Not  a^  all,  amd  Mr*  fill^i^f 
wi^i^ild  b^:oa  lipfolBlation  ia  the  Statea,  andmako  %' 

ol^^^em  too,  I  teU  you.  Wo  IoqIf  fllit^. 
a  gON9d  sigh^^^^ytMM  in  a  town  like  Hali&x^  that  is  pieatttyfy 
tioomimmy  we&  peopled;,  with  IfoUu  that  are  good  marhii, 
aapl  if  there  if  naj^rigbt. down  good  piieaebef  juaoog^  > 
tbiaBi)  jre  bMild  »-ban#iome  Ghuiohy  touchecl  (MflTtikeA  JSvm* 
¥^  Ihierv  a  real  taking  lo!i|qag4hing^and  thiw  «fa  Itfoki 
otit'wr  a  preacher,  a  evade  man,  a  regular  tfen  horse  pgm^i 
ubttp-^well  we  hire  him,  and  we  haTe  to  give  pretty  liiglrv 
Wlagii  too,  say  twdvo'  himdred  or  sixteen  Jmndred  iMliu» 
a  year.    We  take  him  at  first  on  trial  fiHr«Sabbi^h  or 


m 


:m  * 


Ar 


jVlfr.SIM^Ioo]Md:fttni»  withainoit  ineflhble  expnnioB 

fi?'^wS^lS^?*^    I>WM»  on  it.  .ir,  Mid  hTiKJ 
aMj^iOiiioioi^  air«  th&  PioviiiGe  »  much  behind  . 

3S?^  u  ^**^  4^  "^^  i»iw 

^SL2!^?**    Wlrtr.  thew  4m.  tinoe,  m  iMuiy  h«r. 

tltt»4»Qf^  Aftfft.r|ui|HM  yWtyi^lll^ 

ii2^if;°y.tueM.d.yotiM 


HMMK"^'^'  "  '■    .'  xc.'W  %'j^  vt-H  im.  ^yt,,*^  4 


yf^i- 


_      ^__Jlfci'tti4itafcA'! 

?-'S*W'»  *■*  lawt^o  M»y  on  to  hiam,  tint  iff  wnT 

lOuUC  of  •tnkllUr4llA  nunntiM.  mJ  .^_w:xJZ?. 


uiui^  ^?^/^'"^^      «iiiut.t  and  awSS 


tjg  of  gttoig  to  _ 


^Tife.rx.r-*' 


Wi%  aitf  fl0(^  amr  loBfftiM.^    I  gaem  work  don?!  amm: 


he^ 


wmm  yoiKtmm^wfmm0 


mfm  ^«ii^  <;flMi|^  to*  4»ile  llr  liiw  «iMe 


'%5^ 


~  r 


■sm 


■J 


•m 


ctwtb  Hutflivd 


4Aif«iMMiilM<kMHti  lliii,  Jhrbt  OMM-Bijlilb 
MwM»awiMli4>l»«4Mlliketliit»nliflAiiffj     "^ 
M  Al&^MU  iHt  l»  nidb  Iwld  to  nk  bimttK 
fiihtllw««Mli4»k»1   WI^,OTyi  Diniil,  I 
flu  QinilM<fi»  tfasy  am  A  qdeC  peaoe»ble  people,  wio  Mi«<«r 
.f»/l»iMr tftlMT  eenkelpit^ ead  it  would  ke  btMsr  ftr  Mbr 
cfMi&cettDlrjr  if  AhefowenTinoio  MMb  people  in  it  I  Mf«#r 
taiei  er^lMevd  tell  of  aay  herai  in  '«■»  eaoepc  going  4m 
«tel»'igiu«  >ibr  Oiaend  Jaokion,  end  tint  everieelin 
'.  ilniiriHy^iliein»V<M  Baien  {  yee,  I  lov»  tbe^Miife,  1  iMpe 
'lM|Ah«dJAMWcJbeter  ticket  yei-«id  111  go  Ibrymi  ie 
i^Mmfmmim^wa^  mSbtiii  my  l{000>^olUnK'  '"«^"  '  '«'^' 
4n»anehi»iiMli«uih  iUnted  wiienlft  HeM  tMl,  1MI% 
,m#teWyidiiiii  loo)re»My#  Iwv  Lewyw^  flirt^  e  giew  del^ 
ifijndMirfdMiir  I  theve  mote  ewiiee  tkeie,  if  I  igi^'yotttllfe 
AJMMoUffA  yriO-jtHk  piewlihe  ellier «a«ee  !•  Miidf1to«#<lb 
itow|roi»iareBi<ii7»0(Hiielfi«W4o<4lie'keeiefm 
afcMHJiee    ^  doinn  tfcey  fvent  to^Bkede  lelattdt  end  Biiilll 
ilrtpdrt^ieaee,  «nl  loerried  il  fin^HM'QttidMt.  '  WeH^flM 
Qwiiter^lM?  |^  ^ecwai  >  to  ail -Hie  kXkH^ikm  htB^K^^^ 
niWitiiend  iiyeJieyHHMrts  wMl  y«iir>alf»iO»tflMI  Ilii  giiitf 
tUmM  teaplNd  fcrmit   itoeel^we  I/>t»3ilUi»lby«^^ 
jAt^teliaoeMn nnd^l awMISiwtldcl^  «M4»1l» it  <«l^ 
^4qptt|i^I!d;ifibMiMol^pleM  ■ehMipftr'yoii-^>HWt|ii'fM>>.#ile^ 
iHiBdi^^dettaie^^Aeeii  aii%  tand- two  Attwi^iiAiilKii^  iitfio^ 
«l^  unia  l»iioftjselefe»liund«ed  dollinn, ' jtH^iaa^  lftitoiH>t 
Mia  «ion  Aaat  he  igsre.    Daniel  wa«'  Ht^i^  gteeii^ittie^ 
i«lMttlw(beBidflwf^hBMNHdito,^b^yoi>tilii^ 
l»  ]BHiiMetliag  ■ie««t4ilie  a  |R>IM  to  Mi<if»$V^ 
Hidite  ^lumei  didetitiMWttolundtttdte  mi(m&^  Ittm 
fliiMiae  I'aiwald'iHnr^to  give  tiicet  If  then  wflt  4iM  itaild 
H^tifuagneneDt,  neitlier  iviU  I  etawd  10  DMiBe; '  Ik^ 
IHil^  out*  wa^  to.w»lit  Idelidee  it  Hue*    W^|'j|My#il»' 
>  lipMi  J^MlgiHtMPiiralt  etaad  §£1  te  ybii  ie'ful«ilir  Mll#^ 


'•4- 


UN 


*Hidmi 


.m 


■^mimim^Snm-^imjii-  homrrm^mtai  ^gpoAhmaaiaimimf'io 

t4i0#«ift^lie»lii»  lQ>w<»k  IQO  havd  iKmi  «M(t >tli»  miiiils 

^  9«iiiii%iU« «aii4hei  vinteim  too  kag  f  and. i»  |iiBwoe  1»  oan 

4ilPiiBp0r'ti)en|  IjKue»  he'll  ta^iMvBuMtmiiht«hf^i0B 

^tilillkWPBf  long.  .  Why  cmr  country  «iiitito -he  eomiwivdv^ 

ilhiP)  qHjIo  «0CQiiitt  whatever ;  our  eountt^  never  amiem 

,t$m^:^'jlpwAi  nation  we  are,  but  we  made  the  oowivy. 

dPNr  00  fu^  could  we,  if  we  were  all  like  old  Bsaaoee^m^ 

f|flffy»:j«l^li§iy,  make  that  cold  thin  soiLof  Jf^^ew  EnfWDd}Ml|h 

■h^wm  l^hat  it  doea^l    Why,  Sir,  the  land;  between  BeatflU 

^^iidrfkilpni  would  at^iryea^^fl^ 

.Meni,  it  hflii  mo^eatfa  than  wouldThuyjlVova  l^pi^^iDni 

V;l|w  Kkig.    We  rise  0ariy,  live  frugally,  and-  work  b^: 

^^h»t  we  -^  we  take  care  of.  To  all  this  we  add  (^terftlie 

und  intellig«p€^rfeUer  who  finds  work  too  iiard  here,4ttd 

i$t&Uw  Boi  go  to  tile  States.    I  met  an  IriaAman^  oilei  Pat 

wJUiimigRn,  JaM  week,  who  dbad  just  returned  from  the  StaMi ; 

.  Whv,  Bay#  I,  Pftt,  what  (nh  ^rth  faroc^ht  you  baekl^^  >B^ 

^|u^  to  th^m,  sf^d  Patf  if  I  wamft  properly  bit    WhvuJo 

^jfpu  g^ra  day  in  Nova  Scotia?  says  Judge  Bder  to  me. 

|M  nys  I*  There  are  no  iikxrahi 

4i^^  Well,  says  he,  I'U'^nveyrifu 

(Iftf^lichJll  CM90  da^  as  yi^  can  eaiaa^ihtte^iik  twiOiA  gptre 

^f<!Pl^fal^fh^ingi>^^^  X^^ 

aj^jHStdf^lo  it  I  w«nt  with  a  party  of  men  a4igg^^a 

jMoe  of:  ciMial,  and  if  it  wasnH  a  hot  day  my  name  i»  net 

^Jp^^liiiiuiigiiji.    Presently  I  looked  i^  andatra^plrt^iediii^y 

^  i^mi^  mif9. 1  to  a  cOimrade  of  mine,  Mkky  saya  I^  Vm  ^wpy 

i|UT;;«  wHikltlHi^  Bays  the  overseer,  we  don't  allow  genflemen 

rtolidk.at  their,  work  in  this  oounti^.    Fa^,  I  soon  ftwiMl 

out  for  my  two  days'  pay  in  one,  I  had  to  do  tiro  di^* 

wo^k  monof  and  pay  two  weeks^  boaxd -m one,  and  at  the 

tSfid  of-a  montbi^l  found  myself  no  better  off  in  pocket  thm 

m  Nova  Scotia^i  while  the  devil  a  boBc^  m>  my  body^^t 

Mkt  ache  withpatn.  and  as  for  my  nose,  it  to«l^ to  bleed- 

^(Jl^vSiid  M^d  day  ind  night  entirely.    Upon  my  soul,  llr.. 

,^ibgk,  jpid  he,  the  pooK  labouker  does  not  last  long  impmt 


t 


K"  fritJS'Sr;2 


%IRin£^ ;  wtet^th  iMnr  turn,  haard'laboar,  laiA  hoi  WMttw, 
^bti^K  see  ihi  graves  at  the  Irish  esch  side  of  the  cttuds, 
-for  all  the  world  like  two  rows  of  potatoes  in  a  field  tint 
<hav«  forgot  to  come  up*  ^ 

It  is  a  land^  Sir,  contunied  theCaodunaker,  of  hard  wotk, 
-We  aU  have  two  kind  of  riaves,  the  niggers  and  the  while 
slaves.  AH  European  labourem  and  bladu,  who  cometKA 
tb  IIS,  do  our  hard  bodily  woric,  while  we  divsct  it  Jto->a 
fitofitable  end;  neither  rich  nor  poor,  high  nor  low,  withhs 
eat'the  bread  of  idleness.  Oar  whc4e  capital  is  In  aelive 
opeiation,  and  our  whde  population  ia  inactive eiaploynieM. 
Aa  idle  felloir,  like  Pugnose,  who  runs  away  to  us,  is  dapC 
Into  harness  «fore  he  Imows  whore  he  is,  and  ismade"^ 
Work ;  like  a  horse  that  refbses  to  draw,  he  is  put  into  ihe 
Team-boat ;  he  finds  smne  before  him  and  others  behind 
hSaa,  he  nuui  eUker  draw,  or  be  dragged  to  dtatk.  ■  ' 


rrr 


•m^ 


CHAPTER  V. 


JUSTICE  PETTIFOa 

In  the  morning  the  Clockmaker  informed  me  thai  aJwh 
tioeV  Court  was  to  be  hdd  that  day  at  PugtiOae*s  Ini^  liid 
kb  guessed  he  ooidd  do  a  little  business  among  the  ooiarti^r 
MJcs  that  would  be  iusemUed  thmre.  Some  of  them,  'lie 
sud,,  owed  hun  for  clocks,  and  it  would  save  him  the  world 
of  travelling,  to  hav^  the  Justice  and  Constats  to  drive 
tiiem  up  ti^ther.  If  you  want  a  ftU  wether,  there's  no&ing 
like  poaniag  up  the  whole  flock  in  a  corner.  I  guess,  sara 
he,  if  Gren«al  Campbell  knew  what  sort  of  a  man  that  aip 
magistrate  was,  he*d  disband  him  pretty  quick :  he*s  a  regw- 
lav  suck^gg-<-a  disgrace  to  the  country.  I  guess  if  he  aet- 
ed  that  way  m  Kentodky,  he'd  get  a  breakfast  of  cold  lead 
some  morning,  out  of  the  small  eend  of  a  rifle,  he'd  fold 
pretty  difficult  to  digest.  They  tell  me  he  issues  three  hun- 
dred writs  a  year,  Uie  cost  of  which,  including  that  tama^ 
tton  Constabte's  foes,  can't  amount  to  nothinff  less  than 
j),000  ddlars  per  annum.  If  the  Hon.  Danid  Webster  ted 
8  • 


\\ 


m^ 


Jumttfore«  juiy^.lxtekmi  Jie'd  tuni  hiin..iii«de  <nt^  and 
tiiip  him  back  again,  a»  quick  as  an  old  stoolung*  He'd 
ptuit  him  to  the:  lifej  as  plain  to  be  known  as  the  head  of 
Ginezjd  JaoibBon.  He*8  jist  a  fit  feller  for  Lynch  lawyVH 
he  tnedfitenged^and  damned,  all  at  onee-^theteV  more  nor 
:him,'in  thel  eouDtry-<4here'8  some  of  the  hreed  in  every  coui- 
Ary  til^.the  Province,  jist  one  or  two  to  do  the  dirty  wcNrk,  as 
waikaep  niggers  f(Mr  jobs  that  would  give  a  white  man  the 
fl^l^Ra.  A  They  ought  to  pay  his  passage,  as  wedowkh 
meh  cntters,  tell  him  his  place  is  taken  in  thci  MaU  Coach, 
M^^if'hef^  foimd  here  after  twenty  •four  hours,  they'd  maka 
tti'iOmcpenier'^a  plumb^bohof  him,  and  hang ihim  outside  ifae 
lOiuivhatecirfe,  to  try  if  it  was,  perpendicular*  He  almoiik 
alwaysigivea  judgment  Tor  plaintiff,  and  if  the  poor  defend^ 
Aalibas  an  offset,  he  makes  him  sue  it,  so  that  it  grinds  ii 
grist  both\ways'for.>him»  like  the  upper  aiMi  bwerxmUstohe* 
-People  soon  began  to  assemble,  some  on  ibot  and  othera 
on  horseback,  and  in  wagons — Pugnose's  tavern  was  all 
bustle  and  confusion-i^Plaintiffs,  Defendants,  and  witnesses, 
all  talking,  quarrelling,  explaining,  and  drinking.  Hero 
comes  the  Squire,  said, one;  I^m  thinking  his  horse  carries 
more  roguery  than  law,  said  another ;  they  must  have  been 
in  proper  want  of  timber  to  make,  a  justice  of,  said  a  third, 
when  they  took  such  a  crooked  stick  as  that ;  sap*headed 
«DQi^ht6o  fori  refuse^  saida  stout  looking  fanner :  may  be 
ao^!  said  ^  another,'  but  as  hard  at  the  heart  as  a  log  of  efan ; 
honrsomever,  sakl a  thiffd,  Ihope  it  won't  be  long  afbfe  ha 
shhalhe  wainyedge  sooored  off  ^f  him,  any  how*  Many 
nora  anch  remarks  were  made,  all  drawn  from  fanailiftr 
dbgeets,  but  all  expressive  of  bitterness  and  contempt. 
>!fiii»  carried  one  or  two  large. books  with  him  in  bis  p^i 
Irith.a  considerable  roll  of  papers.  "^As  soon  as  the  obse^ 
ifoions  Mr.  Pugnose  saw  him  at  the  door^  he  assisted  him 
to^ali^t,  ushered  him  iqto  the  ^*  best  room,"  and  desired 
the  Constable  to  attend  ^  the  Squire."  The  crowd  imme^ 
dialely  entered,  and  the  Constable  opened  the  court  is  dua 
fimn^  and  oonmianded  silencei 

Taking  out  a  long  list  of  causes,  Mr.  Pbttifog  commenced 
leadiag  the  names-— Jaimes  Sharp  versus  John^  Slug— -call 
John  Slug ;  John  Slug  being  duly  called  and  not  answ^ringj 
dkfiiulted.  In  this  manner  he  proceeded  to  defkult  some 


•^ 


due 


80  or  80  panons^  at  hut  he  otiMtoa  causey  Wil^m  £b»a 
versua  Deonis  Cyfirion'-K»U  Dennia  O'Brien;  here' I' am^ 
aaid  a  Yoioe  from  the  other  rooir:-"- here  I  am,  who  haa  aay- 
tluneto  say  to  Demiia  O'Brien  1  Make  less  noiae,  sir,  ssm 
tha  -Justiee,  or  I'il  Obmnait  yaa*  Commit  me,  ia,  it,  said 
Dennis^  take  care  th«i,  Sqmve,  you  d(m't  commit  youraeU^ 
¥ouare8uedby  WittiaiAliuvfortfareopoimdaibranioBth'a 
boasd  and.  lod^ng,  what  have  you  to  aay  to  it  ?  Sav  toit^ 
S8id'DeBBi8|ididyDu>ever  hear  what  Tim  Doyle  said  whea 
he  was  going  to  be  hanged  for  stealing  a  fng?  sajna,  he,;^ 
the  pig  Imdn'tsqueeled  in  the*bag,  Pd  never  have.beeb-lbBni 
out,  ao  I  ii^ouldn'fr*«ao:I'U  take  warning  by  Tuottlk^Wli 
late ;  I  say  nothing,  let  him  prove  it.  £fere  Mr.  Harei  worn 
calted  on  for  his  proof,  but  taking  it  fiur,  granted,  that  the 
board  would  be  acUnitleid,  and  the  defence  opened,  be  was  bol 
preparedi  with  proo£i  I.  demand,  said  Denms,  I  demand  an 
unsuit.  Here  there  was  a  coxisultation  betwe^  the  Justice 
and  the  Plaintiff;  when  the  Justice  said,  I  shall  not  nonsuit 
him,  I  shall  continue  the  cause.  What,  hang  it  up  till  next 
Court — ^you  had  better  hang  me  up  then  at  once — ^how  can 
a  poor  man  come  here  so  oflen-^this  may  be  the  entertain- 
ment Pugnose  advertises  for  horses,  .but  by  Jacquers,  it  is 
no  entertainment  for  me — ^I  admit  then,  sooner  than  come 
again,  I  admit  it.  You  admit  you  owe  him  three  pounds 
then  for  a  month's  board  1  I  admit  no  such  thing,  I  say  I 
boarded  with  him  a  month,  and  was  like  Pat  Moran's  cow 
at.tfae«nd  of  it,  at  the  liftings  bad  luck  to  him.  A  nwgh- 
bour  was  here  called,  who  proved  that  the  three  pounds 
might  be  the  usual  price.  And  do  you  know  I  taught  hie 
children  to  write  at  the  school,  said  Dennis — you  mi^it^ 
answered  the  witness«~And  what  is  that  worth  1  I  d^'t 
know-*->Yon  don't  know,  foith,  I  believe 'you're  right,  said 
Dennis,  for  if  the  childdren  are  half  as  big  rogues  as  the 
father,  they  might  leave  writing  alone,  or  they'd  be  like 
to  be  hanged  for  forgery.  Here  Dennis  produced4iis  account 
for  teaching  five  children,  two  quarters,  at  9  shillings  e 

JQarter  each,  £4  IDs.  I  am  sorry,  Mr.  O'Brien,  said  the 
ustice,  very  sorry,  but  your  defence  will  not  avail  you, 
your  account  is  too  lai^  for  one  Justice,  any  sum  over  three 
pounds  must  be  «ued  before  two  magistrates—- But  I  only 
Want  tooffbet  as  much  as  will  pay -the  board— It  oBui't  be 


■m 


dona  in  thu  shape,  raid  the  magistrate ;  I  will  oonmlt  Jq»* 
tioe  Doolittle,  my  neighbour,  and  if  Mr.  Hare  wooH  settle 
with  you,  I  will  sue  it  for  you.  Well,.  said>  Dennia,  all  1 
have  to  say  is,  that  there  is  not  sO  big  a  rogue  as  Have  on 
the  whole  river,  save  and  except  one  scotmdvel  who  shall 
be  nameless,  making  a  signifioant  and  humble  bow  to  thm 
Justice.  Here  there  was  a  general  laugh  thnou^oot  ihb 
CburtT->Denni8  retired  to  the  next  room  to  indaniiiify  hHaB* 
adf  by  another  ^ass  of  grog,  and  venting  his  abuse  against 
'  Hare  and  the  Bfogistrate.  Disgusted  at  the  gross  partiidity 
of  the  Justice,  I  also  quitted  tlra  Court,  Ailly  concurring  in 
tile  opini<m,  thou^  net  in  the  language,  that  Dennis  WM 
giving  utteranice  to  in  the  bar  room.  n  '^^m.  <  f  >  (^ 

Pettifog  ow^  his  elevation  to  his  interest  at  an  debtkni. 
Ik  is  to  be  hoped  that  his  subsequent  meritJs  wiU  be  as 
promptly  rewarded,  by  his  (fismissal  from  a  bendi  Whifcfa  hn 
disgracte  and  defiles  by  his  presence. 


CHAPTER  VI. 


ANECDOTEa 


A*  we  mounted  our  horses  to  proceed  to  Amherst,  groups 
of  country  people  were  to  be  seen  standing  abqut  Pugnoee'a 
inn,  taltcing  over  the  events  of  the  morning,  while  others 
w«re  duspersing  to  their  several  homes. 

A  pretty  pnme,  superfine  scoundrel,  that  Pettifog*  said 
die  Clockmaker ;  he  and  his  constable  are  well  matM^and 
they*ve  travelled  in  the  same  geer  so  long  togethtf,  thai 
they  make  about  as  nice  a  yoke  of  rascals,  as  youUl  meet  in 
a  day*s  ride.  They  pull  togather  lik^  one  rope  r^ved 
dirough  two  blocks.  That  are  constable  was  een  almost 
strangled  t'uther  day;  and  if  he  had'nt  had  h  litUe  grain 
more  wit  than  his  master,  I  guess  he'd  had  his  wind>pipe 
stopped  as  tight  as  a  bladder.  There  is  an  outlaw  of  a 
feUer  here,  for  all  the  world  like  one  of  our  Kentucky  Squat- 
ters, one  Bill  Smith— «  critter  that  neither  fears  man  noi^ 


-»i»«*>nB.*''T  - 


sS> 


dwiL  J  Sh^rUF  and  cofistabte  can  makd  n<e>  hand  of  Mm"  ' 
th^  cant  catch  him  no  how ;  nad  if  they  do_comiB  up  with  ^ 
himy  he  dips  through  tleir  finxera  like  an  eel:. ana  thiEu,, 
h(i  goes'  anmd,  and  he  can  knock  the  eye  out  of  a'  a<iuirrd^ 
vfkh  a  ball,  at  fifty  yatds  hand  runfiing-^  ri^ularUgljr', 
cttftomer. 

'  Well,  Nabbf  the  constable,  had  a  writ  ^n  him,  arid  he  * 
was  cyphering  a  good  whil4  how  he  should  catch  hnn ;  at ' 
'  lart  he  hit  on  a  plan  that  he  thought  was  pretty  clever,  and'^ 
he  scheemed  for  a  cheunce  to  try  it.  So  one  day  he  faeiftird'' 
that  Bill  was  up  atPugnoseV  Inn,  a  seltlfng  soni^  business, 
and  was  likely  to  be  ^re  all  tiight.  Kal^  waits  tiH  it  waii ' 
conwderable  late  in  the  evening,  and  tfato  he  takbs  hii< :' 
hoise  and  rides  down  to  the  inn,  and  hitches  hill'  beitst  be^ ! 
hind  the  hay  stack.  Theniheerawlsup  to  tho  wiUdot^^d'' 
pi^  in  and  watches  there  till  Bill  should  go  to  bed;'  tl^At-, 
uig  the  best  way  to  catch  them  are  sort  of  anitriiils  Wio"^ 
catch  them  asleep.  Well,  he  kept  Nabb  a  Waiting  outside ' 
so  k)Bff,  with  his  talkiUg  and  smging,  that  he  welF  nigh 
fell  a8k>^  first  himself;  at  last  Bm  b^ian  to  stHp  fbr  beid. ' 
First  he  tokeis  out  a  Icmg  pocket  pistol,  ezaniiiuss' tiM' 
priming,  and  lays  it  down  on  the  feble  neat  the  head  of  ttwr  * 

■bed.    -  '.<■     ■  -  •   :  '■     ■'  '-■■-         ■     ^.^.■K>.,w^ 

Whcan  Nabb  sees  this,  he  b^ins  to  creep  like  all  over, ' 
and  feel  kinder  u^y,  and  rather  sick  of  his  job ;  but  whenr 
he  iKed  him  jump  into  bed,  and  fa,eerd  hiih  snore  out  a' 
n<nse  like  a  man  driving  pigs  to  market,  be  plucked  up 
courage^and  thought  he  might  do  it  ^sy  arter  all'if  M'' 
was  to  open  the  door  softly,  and  mako  one  spring  on  Ix^'' 
afiNPe  he  could  wako.    So  i^ouiid  he  goeis,  IHls  up  tli?  latch 
of  Ms  door  as  soft  as  soap,  and  makes  a  jump  right  at^^oi ' 
him,  as  he  lay  on  t^e  bed.    I  guess  I  cot  you  this  tun^^ ' 
said  Nabb.    I  guess  so  too,  said  Bill,  but  I  wish  yoii ' 
would'nt  lay  so  plaguy  heavy  on  me — jist  turn  over,  that's  , 
a  good  fellow,  will  you  ?    With  that.  Bill  lays  his  arm  on  ^ 
hupoi  to  raise  him  up,  for  he  said  he  was  squeezed  as  flat  as 
a  pancake,  and  afore  Nabb  knew  where  he  was.  Bill  rolled 
him  right  over,  and  was  atop  of  him.    ^hen  he  seized  htm 
by  the  throat,  and  twisted  his  pipe,  till  his  eyes  were  as  big . 
as  saucers,  and  his  tongue  grew  six  inches  longer,  while  hal 
kept  making  fh<Jes,  fot  all  the  world  like  the  pirate  that  was 
8* 


|f<t  TUB  OMXUUIAKKIU 

hwdged  on  Monuineat  HiU»  at  Boston.  It  was  pveitty  near 
oyer  with  hugii  wh«n  Nabb-  thought  of  his  f|>un ;  ao  he  jnat 
curled  up  both  heels,,  and  drove  the  vpura  rigM  intoJiun; 
hf  let  him  haye  it  jist  bc^w  his  cniper ;  aa  Bin  was  naked, 
he  l^d  a;  fair  chance,  anH  he  ragged  hun  hke  the  leaf  of  a 
book  put  open  with  your  finger.  At  last,  Bill  could  ^stand 
it  no  longer ;  he  let  go  his  hold,  and  roared  tike  a  bullj  and 
clapping  both  hands  ahind  him,  he  out  of  the  door  Uke  a 
shot.  If  it  had^nt  been  for  them  are  spun,  I  guess  Bill 
wiould  have  saved  the  hangman  a  job  of  Nabb  that  time. 

The  Clocknukker  was  an  observing  man,  and  equally 
communicative.    Nothing  escaped  his  notice^  he  knew 
eyeiry  body's  g^n^logy,  bMifpry,  and  means,  and  like  a 
dfty«r  of  an  English  Stage  Coach,  was  not  unwiUiag  toi 
iijopftrl^wl^it  fa^  knew.     Do  yon  see  that  snug:  lodkhiffrf 
hpiijie  there^  sold  he,  with  a  short  saroe  gttrden  afeore  itl 
tljiU,  beloiMs  to  Elder  Thomson.    The  elcter  is  pretty 'close- 
fi^t^^and  holds,  special  &8t  to  aH  he  gets.    He  is  a  justs 
man, and  Very  pious,  but  I. have  observed  when  a  man  be«> 
0011^.  j;i^r  al^t  topi  good,  hf9  is  apt,  sometimes,  ta  slip» 
ali)Bi^  into,  avarice,  I  unless  he  looks  sharperarti^  his  girths^  r 
X;  wen4  o£  miaa,  in  Connecticut,  on  old  sea  ctiptain,  wto 
was  once  let  in  for  it  pretty  deep,  by  a  man  with  a  broader  : 
*  *     ''  -   -w       B  "  friend  Sam,"  isays  he;  **  I 

too  d— n.  goodi"'  There  is, 
'he  need'nt  have  swore  at  all, ; 
bu^il^Qiifasan  aw&il  hand  to  swear*    Howsomever  tl^tti 
n^  1^  theifi  is  a  story  about  the  Eldqrlhat*a  not  so  coarse 

IJft^amNaajrs  w$  old  Minister  came  there;  onoe,  to  h6ld«a 
n^eietin^  at  hi9  bouse^-^well,  after  meetin*  was  over,  the : 
Etflettook  the  minister  all  over«his  farmj  whi6h  is  pretty  --^ 
tifiy^  I  tell  you;  and  he  showed  him  a  great  Ox  be  had^  ^ 
and  at:  swin^ng  big  Pig,  that  weighed  some  six  or  seven? 
hiindred  w^ght,  that  he  wjks  plaguy  proud  of,  but  he  never 
olpsred  the  old  minister  any  thing  to  eat  or  drink.    The 
pirpacher  was  pretty  tired  of  all  tins,  and  seeing  tb  pros- 
p^  of  being  asked  to  partake  with  the  fkmily,  and  tolera* ' 
biy  sharp  set,  he  asked  one  of  the  boys  to  fetch  him  his 
horse,  out  of  the  bam.    When  he  was  taking  leave  of  the 
l^der  (there  were  several  folks  by  at  the  time),  says  he. 


^HdiBt  Tktmmmt  you  hav«  a  fine  fknn  here,  a  very  ihw 
^rmt,  indediit  you  have  a  large  Ok  too,  a  very  larae  Ox{ 
aii4  I  think,  said  he,  Pve  aeen  to  day,  (turning  and  Tooldna 
him  fuU  in  thefifoe,  for  he  intei|ded  to  hit  hin  pietty  haid^ 
lAink  I  have  Men  to-4aji  the  grtoUii  Hog  I  ever  $am  in 
niM  Itfe^  '  The  neighbours  snickered  a  good  daal,  and  the 
Eld^  felt  pretty  streaked.  I  guess  he'd  give  his  great  FJg 
or  his  great  Ox  either,  if  that  story  had*nt  got  wind. 


CHAPTER  Vn. 


QO  AHEAD. 


^;^Wipui  we  resumed  our  oenversadon,  the  dockmaher 
stud  **  t  gaeaa  we  are  the  greatest  nation  on  die  face;  (^  the 

^iirih,.aivl  the  inostscnligbtened  too.^^  

^  T^lfa^i  rather  too  arrogant  to  pass  unnotieed^  and  l 
iVM  about  reply  ingj  that  whatever  doubts  tfiere  iiliriit  be  tnt 
thi^t  subject,  th^re  oooid  be  none  whatever  Uiat  mey  were 
ify^  VKI0L  moduti.  when  he  continued;  we  **  go  ahead***  the 
NovaScotians  go  "astam.*'*!  Our  s^ps  go  ahead  iA  the^ 
sliips  of  other  folks,  our  s^am-boats  beat  the  British  int. 
s^poed*  and'  so  do  our  stage>coadies;  and  I  reckon  a  r^al 
ri|^ht  doim  New  York  trotter  mi^bt.  stump  the  universe  for 
^}ng;"ah^d."  But  since  we  mtroduocd  the  Rail-Roads^ 
if  we  donH  "  go  ahead''  its  a  juty.  We  neyerfaii  y  knew^ 
wh^i(  going  toe  whole  hog; was  till  then;  we  aetiljy  went 
ahead  of.  purselv^  wad  .thi^*s  no  etsy  natter,  I  tellyou* 
If  they  oxdyhad^^iication  here,  they  m%ht  learn  to  do  so 
too,  but  they  don't  know  nothin.'  You  undervalue  them, 
s^d  I,  they  have  their  Coll^  and  Academies,  their  gram* 
mar  schools  and  primary  instiitutions,  and  I  believe  there 
are  few  among  them  who  cannot  read  and  write. 

I  guess  all  that's'  nothin',  said  he.  As  for  Latimand 
Gtreek,  we  don't  valy  it-  a  cent ;  we  teach  it,  and  so  we  do 
painting  and  music,  because  the  English  do,  and  we  like 
to  go  ahead  on  'em  even  in  them  are  things.  As  for  read* 
ixigy  its  well  enough  for  ^hem  that  has  nothing  to  do,  and  ; 


iv  THS  OLOCMliLKlSR. 

writing  is  plaguy  apt  to  bring  a  man  to  States-prfiknif  parti 
tieulariy  if  he  writes  his  name  so  like  another  man  tt  tO 
bare  it  mistaken  for  hisV.  Cypherin|;  is  the  thing— If  a 
man  knows  ho#  to  cypher  he  is  sure  to  grow  rick.  Wt 
aire  a  Vicalculating*'.  people,  we  all  cypher. 

A  horse  that  wont  go  ahead  is  aptte  run  back,  and  tht 
more  you  whip  him,  the  faster  he  goes  astam.  Hitt'f 
jist  the- way  Kith  the  Nota  Scotians;  (hey  hava  been 
running  back  so  fast  lately,  that  they  have  tumbled  over  ft 
Bank  or  two,  and  nearly  broke  their  necks ;  and  now 
theyVe  got  up  and  shook  themselves,  they  swear  their 
dirty  clothes  and  bloody  noses  are  all  owing  to  the  Jtaniiff. 
I  guess  if  thev  wont  look  ^Uiead  for  the  fUture,  they'll  Iftrn 
to  look  behind,  and  see  if  there's  a  bank  near  hand  'em> 

A  bear  always  goes,  down  a  tree  stam  foremo$$,  lb 
is  a  cunning  critter,  he  knows  tante  safe  to  carry  a  heftvy  ' 
load  over  his  head,' and  his  i^mp  is  so  heavy,  Iw  do|il:  Uke 
^o  trust  it  -over-  his'n,  fer  fear  it  might  take  a  lurd),  ^lid 
carry  him*,  heels  over  head,  to  the  ground;  so  he  leti  Ml 
ittato  ddwB  firstj  and  his  head  arter.  I  wish  the  blue* 
noses'  would  find  as  good  Im  excuse  in  th^ir  ruiioipe  fbr 
running  backwards  as  he  has.  But  the  btor  "  emkert^**  hi 
know's  bow  many  poundii  his  hams  weigh,  and  he  **ealeu» 
late***  if  he  carried  t66m  up  in  the  air,  they  might  be  top 
heavy  for  him. 

<  if  we  had  thi*  Province  wte*d  go  to  work  and  "  cypher** 
right  off.  Halifax  is  nothing  without  a  river  or  bac^  eonn> 
tx^;  addnothing'tonothing,  and  I  guess  you  have  nothing 
still^>^^dd  a  Rail  Road  to  the  B^y  of  Fundy,  and  bdw' 
irmch  do  you  giti  That  requires  cyphering— ^t  w9l  eoft 
300,000  dollarsy^r  75,000  pounds  your  money— >add  Hat 
notions  omitted  in  the  additional  column,  one  third,  and  it 
makes  even  money — 100,000  pounds.  Interest  at  0  per 
<  cent.  6,000  pounds  a  year,  now  turi^  over  the  slate  and 
count  up  freight— I  make  it  upwards  of  25,000  poundi/  i'* 
year.  If  I  had  you  at  the  deak  Pd  show  you  a  bill  of '  • 
items.  Now  comes  "  ntbtmoHon  ;"  deduct  cost  of  enginei* 
wear  and  tear,  and  expenses,  and  what  not,  and  reduce  it 
for  shortness  down  to  5,000  pounds  a  year,  the  amount  of 
mterest.  What  figures  have  you  got  now  ?  you  have  an 
investment  that  pays  interest,  I  guess,  and  if  it  dont  pay  • 


OO  AMBAD. 


88 


ttMMTB  then  I  dont  know  chalk  ftom  cbeoae.  But  luppoM 
it  flloQ*t,  aod  that  it  ^Ids  only  2^  por  cent,  (and  it  tt- 
quires  sood  cyphering,.!  tell  you,  to  say  how  it  would  act 
t%iritk  rolks  thatlik»  going  astarn  better  than  goins  ahead,)  . 
W^t  would  them  are  wise  ones  say  theni  Why  the 
eritters  would  ii^  it  wont  pay ;  but  I  say  the  sum  apt  half 
■IMed. 

Cmi  you  count  in  your  head?  Not  to  any  extent,  said 
JU^'  ;Well«  tiiatVi  an  etamal  pity,  said  the  Clockmaker,  for 
I  aliouUi  like  to  show  you  Yankee  Cyphering*  What  is  the 
•otim  real  estate  of  Halifax  worth,  at  a  valeation  1  I  really 
Miinot-  way.  A^h,  iaid  he,  I  see  you  dont  cypher,  and^ 
Latin  and  Oreek  wont  do ;  them  are  people  had  no  raiU 
Mads.  Well,  find  out,  and  then  only  add  ten  per  cent,  to 
ityibr  increased  viUue,  and  if  it  dont  give  the  cost  of  a  rail- 
roid#  then  my  name  is  not  Sam  SUck.  Well  the  land 
bglw«^  Hajiifaii'and  Ardoiae  is  worth— —-—nothing,  add 
6  per  cent,  to  that,  and  send  die  sum  to  the  College,  and 
ax  ikne  students  how  much  it  comes  to>  But  whoi  you 
get  into  Hants  County,  I  guess  you  have  land  wortb 
oomfaig  all  the  way  from  Boston  to  see.  HIa  Royal  High^ 
IMSS  the  King,  I  guess,  has'nt  got  the  like  in  his  dominions. 
Wtll^,add  IS  per  cent,  to  all  them  are  lands,  that  border  on 
Windsor  Basin,  add  5  per  cent,  to  what  butts  on  basin  f>f 
Mines,  and  then  what  do  you  get?  A  pretty  ,con»derable 
■urn,  I  tell  yout-  ^ut  its  no  use  to  give  youthe  cAo/ibs  if  you 
oanH  keep  the  ta/2»e«. 

Now  we  will  lay  down  the  schoolmaster^s  assistant  and 
t^e  up  another  book  every  bit  and  grain  as  good  as  that, 
although  these  folksUfieot  to  ..sneer  at  it — ^I  mean  human 
natur.  Ah  1  said  I,  a  knowledge  of  that  was  of  great  ser*^ 
vice  to  you,  certainly,  in  the  sale  of  your  clock  to  the  olc 
Deacon ;  let  us  see  how  it  will  assist  you  now.  What  doe» 
a  clock  want  that's  run  down  ?  said  be.  Undoubtedly  to 
be  wound  up^  I  replied.  I  guess  you've  hit  it  this  time. 
The  folk*  of  Halifax  have  run  down,  and  they'll  never  go 
to  all  etamity,  till  they  are  wound  up  into  motion  ;  the 
works  are  all  good,  and  it  iis  plaguy  well  cased  and  set — it 
only  wants  a  key.  Put  this  railroad  into  operation,  and 
thft  activity  it  will  inspire  into  business,  the  new  life  it  wilk 
give  the  place,  will  surprise  you.   Its  like  lifling  a  child  off 


mm 


THS  OUWXMAJUkaU 


its  cntwling,  and  putting  bira  ob  hwli§i  to  pl»>  tmmktitf 
the  little  critter  goes  ahead  arter  t^  A  lMfBel/(i)ilBiM 
mean  a  Kurnel  of  militia,  for  vn.iuih  valy  Ibrt  b>wiit>f^ 
cattle  nothing— 4hey  do  npthing  butjimlsiboiit-and  9im0k 
all  day,  like  peacocks,  but  a  kumdeif  flfain,  whwuwii^ 


^^yj^flfeM' 


will  stool  into  several  shoots,  and 
kurnels,  and  will  multiply  itself^thui  i  times  1  it  # 
4  times  25  is  100,  (you  see  fcll  aafatf  <cyfifmm^mmilt  ilm 
blue-noses.)  Jist  so,  this  hwa  taiiwd  wiB  iibt»  ^  Miii>j| 
beget  other  railroads,  but  it  IVill  bent  ft  spirit  dftWi 
pnse,  that  will  beget  otheg  mM  i6pji»aii>Mt|li>.  ■  i  H^iiiM 

large  the  sphere  and  the  mtm^tkiOliltifib^        wmm  tmmm 

traffic  and  supply--Mleiitoftvi|iQttMta«MMii  Mwtii#>al 
pore  value  perhaps  than  sH.ijbtpt,naitfcpii^  .iltrMll^llMil 
the  folks  that  go  astam  or  ■tikt»i«tMfc!4llitt,A»'^  #li^ 
hpuse  in  Boston,  (though  they  ido  say  AaJhupiwIiBidiiNiirt 
has  moved  a  little  this  sumawr^idt  ^alyt^^Hiy  ikmij^ 
but  to  twUify  time  and  tpa^e^  :  ^!(jt.»^<   i  > ; 

Here  his  horse  (who,  feeling  the  ■njirtion  M6»:wM$m 
had  been  restive  of  late)  set  off  at  »  mWrt  pfdiigiaiiei  t>% 
of  trotting.  It  was  sometime  befote  li»«WBi»  Wlid^A'ft 
When  I  overtook  him,  the  Clockmaker  wMmk»MmA% 
horse,  you  see,  understands  our  word  **  go  ak)eMiiiP*iMteta^ 
thc$e  blue-nosee*  .     ■■  ■.■«;*-»>■«  i ■>■:->'.>  i. 

WluUuUtlu  continued,  what  iaUlitai'filimifiAm^^ 
of  a  'swmg  countrjf,  und  hangs  like  ^a  poUce*  aiweiiiiijirUe 
neck?  vMt  retard*  the  cuUiwUion  cf  iu  eoily  and  0mim 
provement  of  it$  JUherieef — the  hugh  price  of  kAmm^I 
guest,  Weu,  vakatU  a  railroad?  The  substUutionif 
wteehanical  for  human  and  animal  k^ouri  on  a  seaie  a» 
grand  as  our  great  country.  Labour  is  dear  in  America, 
and  cheap  in  Europe.  A  railroad,  therefore,  is  compara» 
tiveljf  no  manner  of  use  to  them,  to  whtU  it  is  to  «•— «t  does 
wonders  ther^  but  U  works  miracUs  here.  There  it  makes 
the  old  man  younger,  but  here  it  makes  the  child  a  giant4 
To  us  it  is  river,  bridge,  road,  and  canal,  ail  one.  It  slices 
what  toe  hanH  got  to  spare,  m^n,  horses,  carts,  vessels, 
barges,  and  whafs  all  in  all — time. 

Since  the  creation  of  the  Universe,  I  guess  it's  the 
greatest  inventiont  arter  man.    Now  this  is  what  I  call 


Tm  PRB. 


THAT  WAVDBRBD,  ETC. 


85 


MlijUfiwiMig^  arter  ImApan  natur,  while  Aguret  are  erphor- 
i^  «tMrlft«  '^'twItlMlt.*'  TheM  two  aorta  of  cyphering 
nwke  ideoation— aa#  you  may  depend  on*t,  Squire,  there 
iHllliilig'  Uht  iblil»«yphering,  if  they  want  to  *«  go  ahead.** 


:<:jJ 


|#^iNDER£D  FROM  HIS  TEXT. 


>*?  it««Hi,  Mit A*  6iilibniik«r,  we  know  more  of  Nova 
WmM  Msk  tii«P)|dta»lMiMP  itnn^elv'ja  do.  The  Yankees 
Jiliftft  tjili  wSaMmtim  mMi  ftik* ;  they  can  een  a  most  see 
iHiMi|^Miiv!«Mt«f  a  thkig;  indeed  some  on  them  have 
INNil#li»lM%Ht  aMUMMtimes  I  think  that's  the  reason 
tMriit^  lim  vr^fMSii  mmt  spectacles.  The  firat  I  ever 
IwilAiill'iiadliiBtiiliilll  was  fiom  Mr.  Everett  of  Congress ; 
hi)lBiQii»fd  at'imieii  ab^  it  as  if  he  had  lived  here  ail  his 
M^tmi  iiHf 'britiiifle  grain  more.  He  is  a  splendid 
ntaWiiiiiiiiiiii  iw'-''<ilaas-  him  No.  1,  letter  A.  One  nisht  I 
«hiie«|l»gai^tdK3eneral  Peep's  tavern  at  Boston,  and  who 
■kinMiUfetfcew  but  the  great  Mr.  Everett,  a  studying  over 
iK|ii»>«f  tt»frovince  of  Nova  Sootia.  Why  it  aiat  possibte 
ilMM^f  ^at  aint  Professor  Everett,  as  I  am  alive !  M'hy 
#i#  i»^  do,  Professor  ?  Pretty  wellr  I  give  vou  thanks, 
iiidiln;  how  be  you  I  but  I  aint  no  longer  Professor;  I  gin 
lialup,  and  also  the  trade  of  Preaching,  and  took  to  poli- 
l^es.  You  don't  say  so,  said  I ;  why  what  on  airth  is  the 
cause  6*  that  1  Why,  says  he,  look  here,  Mr.  Slick.  What 
M  the  use  of  reading  the  Proverbs  of  Solomon  to  our  free 
and  oilight^ied  citizens,  that  are  every  mite  and  mortal  as 
wise  as  he  was  ?  That  are  man  undertook  to  say  there  was 
nothing  new  under  the  sun.  I  guess  heM  think  he  spoke 
a  little  too  fast,  if  he  was  to  see  our  steam-boats,  railroads, 
and  India  rubber  shoes— three  inventions  worth  more  nor 
all  he  knew  put  into  a  heap  together.  Well,  I  don't  know, 
s^d  I,  but  somehow  or  another  I  guess  you'd  have  found 
I«eaching  the  best  speculation  in  the  long  run ;  them  are 


■U       J  Iff 


UnitariaM  pav  better  than  Uncle  Sam  (w  eatl,  mid  (hi 
Clockmakor,  the  American  public  Uneb  San^  aa  you  aatt 
the  British  John  Bull.) 

That  remark  aeemed  to  grig  him  a  Uttlai  ba  Ml mmuj 
(iko,  and  walked  twice  aoroas  the  room,  Afty  fiUh0m»  dhiap 
in  thought ;  at  last  he  said,  which  way  are  you  Aom*  Mr* 
Slick,  this  hitcht  Why,  says  I,  Vvb  been  away  up  toutb 
a  speculating  in  nutmegs.  I  hope,  says  tha  Proibssor» 
they  were  a  good  article,  the  real  ruht  down  genuiiia  thfjM;. 
No  mistake,  says  t, — no  mbtake,  Proieisor  i  they  wave  all 
prime,  first  chop ;  but  why  did  vou  ax  that  <|uastioB  t  Why^ 
says  he,  that  eternal  scoundrel,  that  Captain  John  Alla|rfoa 
«of  Nahant,  he  used  to  trade  to  Oharleaton,  and  kt  oamad 
a  caroo  once  there  of  fifty  barrels  of  n«tmegs  t  mtUlt  Iw  yut 
a  half  a  bushel  of  good  ones  mto  each  eeiM  o(  tha  baratL 
and  the  rest  he  filled  up  with  wooden  onea,  ao  Uka  tha  fial 
tbiiig,  no  soul  could  tell  the  difiarenoe  until  htkUom  wkk 
kiaitetkt  and  that  he  nerer  thought  of  doiig,  imlU  ha  «M 
first  Ml  hinueif  Well,  its  been  a  standing >ka  with  tlMn 
southerners  agin  us  ever  since. 

It  was  only  tother  day  at  Waslnngtmi,  Uiat  aifaflBillDf 
Virainy  duellist  General  Cufiy,  afore  a  number  of  atnaioffi, 
at  the  President's  house,  said  to  me,  .Well  Bvanrttt  aavi  ha 
—•you  know  I  wjm  always  dead  agin  your  TariflT  bUiy  but 
[  have  changed  my  mind  since  your  able  speech  on  it  f  I 
ihall  vote  tor  it  now.  Give  me  your  hand,  says  I^  OaaawJ 
Cuflfy ;  the  Boston  folks  will  be  drcsdfiil  glad  whan  thav 
hear  your  splendid  talents  are  on  our  Mde-->I  think  »itwiH 
go  now — we'Q  carry  it.  Yes,  says  he,  your  fkctoriaa  down 
east  beat  all  natur ;  they  go  ahead  on  the  ESnglish  a  hmg 
chalk.  You  may  depend  I  Was  glad  to  hear  the  New 
Englanders  spoken'of  in  that  way — ^I  felt  proud,  I  tell  yoH 
— and,  aifya  he,  there's  one  manufacture  that  might  stump 
all  Europe  to  produce  the  like.  What's  that  7  says  I,  look* 
ing  as  pleased  all  the  time  as  a  gall  that's  tickled.  Why, 
says  he,  the  facture  of  wooden  nutmegs ;  that's  a  cap  shiiief 
that  bangs  the  bush — its  a  real  Yankee  patent  inventiont 
With  that  all  the  gentlemen  set  up  a  laugh,  you  might  have 
heerd  away  down  to  Sandy  Hook — ^and  the  General  gig 
gobbled  like  a  great  turkey  cock,  the  half  nigger,  half  allf 


THl   PRBAOHBR  THAT   WAVDIABOf   BTO. 


•7 


gitor  like  looking  villain  as  hr  in.      I  tell  vou  what,  Mr. 
lick,  aaid  the  ProfeMor,  I  witsli  with  all  my  heart  them  are    ' 
damned  nutmegs  were  in  the  bottom  of  the  sea.    That  was 
Uie  first  oath  I  ever  hcord  him  let  slip :  but  he  was  dreadAiI 
ryled,  and  it  made  jme  feel  ugly  too,  for  its  awAil  to  hear  a  * 
minister  swear;  and  the  only  match  I  know  for  it,  is  to  hear 
a  regular  sneezer  of  a  sinner  quote  scripture.    Says  I,  Mr 
Everett,  that*s  the  fruit  that  politics  bear :  for  my  part  I 
never  seed  a  good  ^raft  on  it  yet,  that  bore  any  thing  good 
to  eat,  or  easy  to  digest. 

Well,  he  stood  awhile  looking  down  on  the  carpet,  with 
his  hands  behind  him,  quite  taken  up  a.cyphering  in  his  head, 
and  then  he  straightened  himself  up,  and  he  put  his  hand 
upon  his  heart,  just  as  he  used  to  do  in.  the  pulpit,  (he  looked 

erettjr  I  tell  you)  and  slowly  lifting  his  hand  oflT  his  breast, 
e  said,  Mr.  Slick,  our  tree  of  liberty  was  a  beautiful  tree— > 
a  spieadid  tree— it  was  a  sight  to  look  at ;  it  was  well  fimoed 
and  well  protected,  and  it  grew  so  stately  and  so  handaorae, 
that'  strangers  came  from  all  parts  of  the  globe  to  aee  it. 
They  all  allowed  it  was  the  most  splendid  thii^  in  the  world. 
Well,  the  mobs  have  broken  in  and  tore  down  their  fences, 
and  snapped  off  the  branches,  and  scattered  all  the  leaves 
about,  and  it  looks  no  better  than  a  gallows  tree.  I  am 
afeared,  says  he,  I  tremble  to  think  on  it,  but  I  am  afeared 
our  ways  will  no  longer  be  ways  ofpreasantness,  nor  our 
'paths,  paths  of  peace ;  I  am^  indeed,  I  vow,  Mr.  Slick.  He 
looked  so  streaked  and  so  chop-fallen,  that  I  felt  kinder  sorry 
for  him ;  I  actilly  thought  he  d  a  boo.hood  right  out. 

So,  to  turn  the  conversation,  says  I,  Professor,  what  are 
great  map  is  that  I  seed  you  a  studyin'  over  when. I  <  ame 
in  ?  Says  he;  its  a  map  of  Nova  Scotia.  That,  sayb  be, 
is  a  valuable  province,  a  Teal  clever  province ;  we  han*t  got 
the  like  on  it^but  its  most  plagily  in  our  way.  Well,  says 
I,  send  for  Sam  Patch  (that  are  man  was  a  great  diver,  says 
the  Clockmaker,  and  the  last  dive  he  took  was  off  the  falls 
of  Niagara,  and  he  was  never  heerd  of  agin  till  tother  day 
when  Captain  Enoch  Wentworth,  of  the  Susy  Ann  Whalc'i, 
saw  him  in  the  South  Sea^  Why,  says  Captain  Bnoch  to 
him,  why  Sam,  says  he,  how  on  airth  did  you  get  here  ?  I  * 
thought  you  was  drowned  at  the  Canadian  lines.  Vhy, 
4 


Tfia  CLOOKMAKKR. 


says  he,  I  didn't  get  on  airth  here  at  all,  but  I  came  riglit 
'slap  through  it.  In  that  are  Niagara  dive,  I  went  so  ever- 
lasting deep,  I  thoueht  it  was  just  as  short  to  come  up  tother 
side,  so  out  I  came  m  those  parts.  If  I  don't  take  the  shine 
off  the  Sea  Serpent,  when  I  get  back  to  Boston,  then  my 
name's  not  Sam  Patch.)  Well,  says  I,  Professor,  send  for 
Sam  Patch,  the  diver,  and  let  him  dive  down  and  stick  a 
torpedo  in  the  bottom  of  the  Province  and  blow  it  Up;  or  if 
that  won't  do,  send  for  some  of  our  steam  tow-boats  from 
our  great  Eastern  cities,  and  tow  it  out  to  sea ;  you  k&ow 
there's  nothing  our  folks  can't  do,  ^hen  they  once  fiurly 
take  hold  on  a  thing  in  airnest.' 

Well,  that  made  him  laugh ;  he  seemed  to  forget  about 
the  nutmegs,  and  says  he,  that's  a  bright  scheme,  but  it 
won't  do;  we  shall  want  the  Province  some  day,  and  I 
guess  we'll  bu^  it  of  King  William ;  they  say  he  is  over 
head  and  ears  m  debt,  and  owes  nine  hundred  millions  of 
pounds  starling — ^we'U  buy  it  as  we  did  Florida.  In  the 
meantime  we  must  have  a  canal  from  Bay  Fundy  to  Bay 
Varte,  right  through  Cumberland  neck,  by  Shittyack,  for 
our  fishing  vessels  to  go  to  Labradore.  I  guess  you  must 
ax  leave  first,  said  I.  That's  jist  what  I  was  cyphering 
at,  says  he,  when  you  came  in.  I  believe  we  won't  ax 
tl|em  fit  all,  but  jist  fail  to  and  do  it ;  it*»  a  road^f  need' 
cetmtv.  I  once  heard  Chief  Justice  Marshall  of  Baltimore, 
iny,  If  the  people's  highway  is  dangerous — a  man  may 
take  down  a  fence — and  pass  through  the  fields  as  a  way 
of  needcetfity  ;  and  we  shall  da  it  on  that  principle,  as 
the  way  round  by  Isle  Sable  is  dangerous.  1  wonder  the 
Novascotians  don't  do  it  for  their  own  convenience.  Said 
I,  it  would'nt  make  a  bad  speculation  that.  The  critters 
dk>n't  know  no  better,  said  he.  Well,  says  I,  the  St,  John's 
;  folks,  whiy  don't  they?  for  they  are  pretty  cute  chaps 
them. 

They  remind  me,  says  the  Professor,  of  Jim  Billings. 
You  Icnew  Jim  Billings,  didn't  you,  Mr.  Slick  ?  Oh  yes, 
said  I,  I  knew  him.  It  was  he  that  made-  such  a  talk  by 
shipping  blankets  to  the  West  Indies.  The  same,  says  he. 
Well,  f  went  to  see  him  the  other  day  at  Mrs.  Lecain^s 
Boarding  House,  and  savs  I,  Billings,  you  have  a  nice  loca 


THE  FREACHBB  THAT  WAVDERED,  ETC.  80 

tion  here.  A  plagy  sight  too  nice,  said  he.  Marm  Lecaln 
makes  such  an  eternal  touss  about  her  carpets,  that  1  havn 
to  go  along  that  everlasting  long  entry,  anpl  down  both  stair- 
cases, to  the  street  door  to  spit ;  and  it  keeps  all  the  gen- 
tlemen a  running  with  their  mouths  full  all  day.  I  had  a 
real  bout  with  a  New  Yorker  this  itaorning,  I  run  down  to 
the  street  door,  and  afore  I  seed  any  body  a  coming,  I  let  ^o 
and  I  vow  if  I  didnH  let  a  chap  have  it  all  over  his  white 
waistcoat.  Well,  he  makes  a  grab  at  me,  and  I  shuts  the 
door  right  to  on  his  wrist,  and  hooks  the  door  chain  taught, 
and  leaves  him  there,  and  into  Marm  Lecain*8  bed-room 
like  a  shot,  and  hides  behind  the  curtain.  Well,  he  r^red 
like  a  bull,  till  black  Lucretia,  one  of  the  house  helps,  let 
him  go,  and  they  looked  into  all  the  gentlemen*s  rooms  and 
found  nobody — so  I  got  out  of  that  are  scrape.  So,  wiiat 
with  Marm  Lecain's  carpets  in  the  house,  and  other  folks'* 
waistcoats  in  the  street,  its  too  nice  a  location  for  me,  I 
guess,  so  I  shall  up  killocb  and  off  to-morrow  to  the  Dree 
mont. 

Now,  says  the  Professor,  the  St.  John's  folks  are  jist  like 
Billings,  fifty  cents  would  have  bought  him  a  spit  box,  and 
saved  him  all  them  are  journeys  to  the  street  door — and  a 
canal  at  Bay  Vart^  would  save  the  St.  John's  folks  a 
voyage  all  round  Nova  Scotia.  Why,  tHey  can't  get  at 
their  own  backside  settlements,  without  a  voyage  most  as 
long  as  one  to  Europe.  If  we  Imd  ^at  are  'neck  cf  land 
in  Cun^erkmd,  we'd  have  a  $hip  canal  there,  and  a  town 
at  each  eend  of  it  a^a  big  at  Portland.  You  may  talk  of 
Solomon,  said  the  Professor,  but  if  Solomon  in  all  his  glory 
was  not  arrayed  like  a  lUy  of  the  field,  neither  was  ne  io 
all  his  wisdom  equal  in  knowledge  to  a  real  free  American 
citizen.  Well,  said  I,  Professor,  we  are  a  most  enlig^itened 
people,  that's  sartain,  but  somehow  I  don't  like  to  hear  you 
run  down  King  Solomon  neither ;  perhaps  he  wahit  i  quitd 
so  wise  as  Uncle  Sam,  but  then,  said  I,  (drawing  close 
to  the  Professor,  and  whispering  in  his  ear,  for  fear  any 
fdks  in  the  bar  room  might  hear  me,)  but  then,  said  I, 
may  be  he  was  every  bit  and  grain  as  honest.  Says  he, 
Mr.  Slick,  there  are  some  foUcs  who  think  a  good  deal 
and  say  but  little,  and  they  are  wise  folks  ;  and  there  are 


40 


TUB  CLOGKMAKBR. 


Others  agin,  who  blart  right  out  whatever  comes  upper> 
moat,  and  I  guess  they  are  pretty  considerable  superfine 
darned  fools. 

And  with  that  he  turned  right  round,  and  sat  down  to 
his  map,  and  n^^r  said  another  word,  lookin'  as  mad  as 
a  hatter  the  whole  blessed  timd 


CHAPTER  IX. 

YANKEE  EATING  AND  HORSE  FEEDING. 

Dm  you  ever  heer  tell  of  Abernethy,  a  British  doctor  7  ~ 
said  the  Clockmaker.  Frequently,  said  I,  he  was  an  emi* 
nent  man,  and  had  a  most  extensive  practice.  Well,  I 
reckon  he  was  a  vulgar  critter  that,  he  replied,  he  treated 
the  hon'ble  Alden  Gobble,  secretary  to  our  legation  at 
London,  dreadful  bad  once ;  and  I  guess  if  it  had  been  me 
he  had  used  that  wa/,  Vd  a  fixed  his  flint  for  him,  so  that 
heM  think  twice  afore  he'd  fire  such  another  shot  as  that 
are  again.  Pd  make  him  make  tracks,  I  guess,  as  quick 
as  a  dog,  does  a  hog  from  a  potatoe  field.  .  He'd  a  found 
his  way  out  of  the  hole  in  the  fence  a  plagy  sight  quicker 
than  he  came  in,  I  reckon. 

His  manner,  said  I,  was  certainly  rather  unceremonious 
at  times,  but  he  was  so  honest  and  so  straightforward,  thai 
no  person  was,  I  believe,  ever  seriously  offended  at  him 
JU  was  his  way.  Then  his  way*  was  so  plaguy  rough,  con- 
tinued the  Clockmaker,  that  he'd  been  the  better,  if  it  had  , 
been  hammered  and  mauled  down  smoother.  Pd  a  levelled 
him  as  flat  as  a  flounder.  Pray  what  was  his  ofient^  1 
said  I.    Bad  enough  you  may  depend.  - 

The  hon'ble  Alden  Gobble  was  dyspeptic,  and  he  suf-^ 
fer^d  great  oneasiness  arter  eati^,  so  he  goes  to  Al)ernelhy 
for  advice.    What's  the  matter  with  you,  said  the  Doctor  t 
jist  that  way,  without^  even  passing  the  time  o'day  witni 
hfm — whit's  the  matter  with  you  1  said  he. "  Why,  says 
Alden,  I  presume  I  have  the  dyspepsy.  -  Ah !  said  ho,  I 


,  A3*.  «>«!««ST-'''*^*»'  "■■' 


TAVKBC  BATIirO  AITS  RORSB  FEEDIirO. 


41 


;  a  Yankee  swallowed  more  dollars  and  cents  than  be 
can  diffest.  I  am  an  American  citizen,  says  Alden,  with 
great  dignity ;  I  am  Secretary  to  our  Legation  at  the  Court 
of  St.  James.  The  devil  you  are,  said .  Abemethy ;  then 
you'll  soon  get  rid  of  your  dyspepsy/  I  don^t  see  that 
are  inference,  said  Alden ;  it  don't  follow  from  what  yoar 
predicate  xat  all — it  aint  a  natural  consequen-x;,  I  guess, 
that  a  man  should  cease  to  be  ill,  because  he  is  called  . 
by  the  voice  of  a  free  &nd  enlightened  people  to  fill  an 
important  office.  (The  truth  is,  you  could  no  more  trap 
Alden  than  yoU  could  ain  Indian.  He  could  see  other 
folks*  trail,  and  made  none  himself:  he  was  a  real  diploma- 
tist, and  I  believe  ^our  diplomatists  are  allowed  to  be  the 
best  in  the  world.)  But  I  tell  you  it  does  follow,  said  the 
Doctor;  for  in  the  company  you'll  have  to  keep,  you'll 
have  to  eat  like  a  Christian. 

It  was  an  everlasting  pity  Alden  contradicted  him,  for 

he  broke  out  like  cob  ravin  distracted  mad.   I'll  be  d<^^ :d, 

said  he,  if  ever  I  saw  a  Yankee  that  didn't  bolt  his  food 
whole  like  a  Boa  Constrictor.  How  the  devil  can  you  ex- 
pect to  digest  food,  that  you  neither  take  the  trouble  to 
dissect,  nor  time  to  masticate  1  It's  no  wonder  you  lose 
your  teeth,  for  you  never  use  them ;  uor  your  digestion, 
for  you  overload  it ;  nor  your  saliva,  for  you  expend  it 
on  the  carpets,  instead  of  your  food.  Its  disgusting,  its  ■ 
beastly.  You  Yankees  load  your  stomachs  as  a  Devon- 
stiire  man  does  his  cart,  as  full  as  it  can  hcdd,  and  as  fast 
as  he  can  pitch  it  with  a  dung  fork,  and  drive'  off;  and 
then  you  complain  that  such  a  load  of  compost  is  too 
heavy  for  you.  Dyspepsy,  eh  I  infernal  guzzling  you 
mean,  I'll  tell  you  what,  Mr.  Secretary  of  Legation,  take 
half  the  time  to  eat,  that  you  do  to  drawl  out  your  words, 
chew  your  food  half  as  much  as  you  do  your  filthy  tobacco, 
and  you'll  be  well  in  a  month. 

■  I  d(m't  understand  such  language,  said  Alden,  (for  he 
was  fairly  ryled  and  got  his  dander  up,  and  when  he  shows 
clear  grit,  he  looks  wicked  ugly,  I  tell  you,)  I  don't  under- 
stand such  language.  Sir ;  I  came  here  to  consult  you  pro- 
fessionally, aAd  not  to  be .     Don't  understand !    said 

the  Doctor,  why  its  plain  English ;  but  heie,  read  my  book 
4* 


42 


THB  OLOCKMAKSR. 


-—and  he  shoved  a  book  into  his  hands  and  left  him  in  an 
instant,  standing  alone  in  the  middle  of  the  room. 
'  If  the  hon'ble  Alden  Gobble  had  gone  right  away  and 
demanded  his  passports,  and  returned  home  with  the  Lega- 
tion, in  one  of  our  first  class  frigates,  (I  guess  the  ^glish 
would  as  soon  see  pyson  as  one  o'  them  are  Serpents)  to 
Washington,  the  President  and  the  people  would  have  sus- 
^tained  him  in  it,  I  guess,  until  an  apology  was  offered  for 
the  insult  to  the  nation.  I  guess  if  it  had  beerl  me,-  said 
Mr.  Slick,  Pd  a  headed  him  afore  he  slipt  out  o'  the  door, 
and  pinned  him  up  agin  the  wall,  and  made  him  bolt  his 
words  ^gin,  as  quick  as  he  throw'd  'em  up,  for  I  ne^r 
see'd  an  Englishman  that  did'nt  cut  his  words  as  short  as 
he  does  his  horse's  tail,  close  up  to  the  stump. 

It  certainly  was  very  coarse  and  vulgar  language,  and 
I  think,  said  I,  that  your  Secretary  had  just  cause  to  be 
ofifended  at  such  an  ungentlemanlike  attack,  aTthough  he 
showed  his  good  sense  in  treating  it  with  the  contempt  it 
deserved.  It  was  plagy  lucky  for  the  doctor,  I  tell  you, 
that  he  cut  his  stick  as  he  did,  and  made  himself  scarce,  for 
Alden  was  an  ugly  customer,  he'd  a  gin  him  a  proper  scald- 
ing— he'd  a  taken  the  brissles  off  his  hide,  as  clean  as  the 
skin  of  a  spring  shote  of  a  pig  killed  at  Christmfis. 

The  Clockmaker  was  evidently  excited  by  his  own  story, 
and  to  indemnify  himself  for  these  remarks  on  his  coun- 
trymen, he  indulged  for  some  time  in  ridiculing  the  Nova 
Scotians.  . 

Do  you  see  that  are  fk>ck  of  colts,  said  he,  (as  we  passed 
one  or  those  beautiful  prairies  that  render  the  vallies  of 
Nova  Scotia  so  verdant  and  so  fertile,)  well,  Kguess  they 
keep  too  much  of  that  are  stock.  I  heerd  an  Indian  one 
day  ax  a  tavern  keeper  for  some  rum ;  why,  Joe  Spaw- 
deeck,  said  he,  I  reckon  you  have  got  too  much  already. 
Too  much  of  any  thing,- said  Joe,  is  not  good,  but  too  much 
fum  is  jist  enough.  I  guess  these  blue-noses  think  so  bout 
their  horses,  they  are  fairly  eat  up  by  them,  out  of  house 
and  home,  and  they  are  no  good  neither.  They  beant 
gK>d  saddle  horses,  and  they  beant ^ood  draft  beasts — they 
are  jist  neither  one  thing  nor  tother.  They  are  like  the 
drink  of  our  Connecticut  folks.    At  mowing  time  they  use 


YANKBB  BATIirO   AKO  HORSB   rBBDINO. 


48 


moleases  and  water,  nasty  stuff,  only  fit  to  catch  flies — it 
spiles  good  water  and  makes  bad  beer.  No  wonder  the 
folks  are  poor.  Look  at  them  are  great  dykes ;  well,  they 
all  go  to  feed  horses ;  and  look  at  their  grain  fields  on  the 
upland  I  well,  they  are  all  sowed  with  oats  to  feed  horses, 
and  they  buy  their  bread  from  us :  so  we  feed  the  assei^, 
and  they  feed  the  horses.  If  I  had  them  critters  on  th&t 
are  marsh,  on  a  location  of  mine,  I'd  jist  take  my  rifle  and 
shoot  every  one  on  them  ;  the  nasty  yo  necked,  cat  ham- 
med,  heavy  headed,  flat  eared,  crooked  shanked,  long 
legged,  narrow  chested,  good  for  nothin  brutes ;  they  aint 
worth  their  keep  one  winter.  I  vow,  I  wish  one  of  these 
blue-noses,  with  his  go-to-meetin  clothes  on,  coat  tails 
pinned  up  behind  like  qeleather  blind  of  a  shay,  an  old  spur 
on  one  heel,  and  pipe  stuck  through  his  hat  band,  mounted 
on  one  of  these  limber  timbei^  critters,  that  moves  its  hind 
legs  like  a  hen  scratchin  gravel,  was  sot  down  in  Broad- 
way, in  New  York,  for  a  sight.  Lord !  I  think  I  hear  the 
West  Point  cadets  a  larfin  at  him.  Who  brought  that  are' 
scareci'ow  out  of  standin  corn  and  stuck  him  here  ?  I  guess 
that  are  citizen  came  from  away  down  east  out  of  the  Notch 
of  the  White  Mountains.  Here  comes  the  Cholera  doctor, 
from  Canjada — not  from  Canada,  I  guess,  neither,  for  he 
don^t  look  as  if  he  had  ever  ^en  among  the  rapids.  If 
they  would'nt  poke  fun  at  him  its  a  pity. 

If  they'd  keep  less  horses,  and  more  sheep,  they'd  have 
food  and  clothing,  too,  instead  of  buying  both.  I  vow  I've 
larfed  afore  now  till  I  have  fairly  wet  myself  a  cryin',  to 
see  one  of  these  folks  catch  a  horse :  may  be-  he  has  to  go 
two  or  three  miles  of  an  arrand.  Well,  down  he  goes  on 
the  dyke,  with  a  bridle  in  one  hand,  and  an  old  tin  pan  in 
another,  full  of  oats,  to  catch  his  beast.  First  he  goes  to 
one  flock  of  horses,  and  then  to  another,  to  see  if  he  can 
find  his  own  critter.  At  last  he  gets  sight  on.  him,  and  goes 
softly  up  to  him,  shakin  of  his  oats,  and  a  coaxin  him,  and 
jist  as  he  goes  to  put  his  hand  on  him,  away  he  starts  dll 
head  and  tail,  and  the  rest  with  him ;  that  starts  another 
flock,  and  they  set  a  third  off,  and  at  last  every  troop  on 
'em' goes,  as  if  OM  Nick  was  arter  them,  till  they  amount 
to  two  or  three  hundred  in  a  drove.    Well,  he  chases  them 


m 


THE  CLOGKMAKBIL 


clear  aeross  the  TaYitramer  marsh,  seven  miles  good,  over 
ditches,  creeks,  mire  holes,  and  flag  ponds,  and  then  they 
turn  and  take  a  fair  chase  for  it  back  again  seven  ihiles 
more.  By  this  time,  I  presume  they  are  all  pretty  consid- 
erably well  tired,  and  Blue  Nose,  he  goes  and  gets  up  all 
the  men  folks  in  the  neighbourhood,  and  catches  his  beast, 
as  they  do  a  moose  arter  he  is  fairly  run  down ;  so  he  runs 
fourteen  miles,  to  ride  two,  because  he  is  in  a  tarnation 
hurry.  It*s  e*en  a  most  equak  to  eatin  soup  with  a  fork, 
when  you  are  short  of  time.  It  puts  me  in  mind  of  catch- 
ing birds  by  sprinkling  salt  on  their  tails ;  its  only  one 
horse  a  man  can  ride  out  of  half  a  dozen,  arter  all.  One 
has  no  shoes,  tother  has  a  colt,  on^  amt  broke,  another  has 
a  sore  back,  while  a  fifth, b  so  etiffnal  cunnin,  all  Cumber- 
land could^nt  catch  him,  till  winter  drives  him  up  to  the 
bam  for  food. 

Most  of  them  are  dyke  marshes  have  what  they  call 
'  homy  pott*  in  *em  ;  that  is  a  deep  hole  all  full  of  squash, 
where  you  canH  find  no  bottom.  Well,  every  now  and 
then,  when  a  feller  goes  to  look  for  his  horse,  he  sees  his 
tail  a  stickin  right  out  an  eend,  from  one  of  these  honey 
pots,  and  wavin  like  a  head  of  broom  com ;  and  sometimes 
you  see  two  or  three  trapped  there,  e'en  a  most  smothered, 
everlastin*  tired,  half  sMrimmin,  half  wadin,  like  rats  in  a 
molasses  cask.  When  they  find  *^m  in  that  are  pickle, 
they  go  and  get  ropes,'  and  tie  'em  tight  round  their  necks, 
and  half  hang  'em  to  make  'em  float,  and  then  haul  *em  out. 
Awful  looking  critters  they  be,  you  may  depend,  when  they 
do  come  out ;  for  all  the  world  like  half  Jrow^ed  kittens — 
all  slinkey  slimey — ^with  their  great  long  tails  glued  up  like 
a  swab  of  oakum  dipped  in  tar.  If  they  don't  look  loolish 
its  a  pity  I  Well,  they  hpive  to  nurse  these  critters  all 
winter,  with  hot  mashes,  warm  covering,  and  what  not,  tind 
when  spring  comes,  they  mostly  die,  and  if  they  don't  they 
are  never  no  good  arter.  I  wish  with  all  my  heart  half  the 
horses  in  the  country  were  barrelled  up  in  these  here 
'*  honey  pots,"  and  then  thero'd  be  near  about  one  half  too 
many  left  for  profit.  Jist  look  at  one  of  these  bam  yards 
in  the  spring— >half  a  dozen  half-starved  colts,  with  ftwn 
hair  looking  a  thousand  ways  for  Sunday,  and  their  coats 


THE  R0A9  TO  A   WOMAN  8  HEART. 


45 


hangin  m  tatters,  and  half  a  dozen  good  for  nothin  old 
horses,  a  crowdin  out  the  cows  and  sheep. 

Can  yoii  uHmder  thnt  people  who  keep  such  on  unpro* 
ftahle  atocJb,  come  out  of  the  nnall  eend  of  the  horn  in  lA# 
long  run? 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE  ROAD  TO  A  WOMAN'S  HEART— THE  BROKEN  HEART.     • 

•As  we  approached  the  Inn  at  Amherst,  the  Clockmaker 
grew  uneasy.  Its  pretty  well  on  in  the  evening,  1  guess, 
said  he,  and  Marm  Pugwash  is  as  onsartin  in  her  temper 
as  a  momin  in  April ;  its  all  sunshine  or  all  clouds  ivith 
her,  and  if  she's  hi  one  of  her  tantrums,  sheUl  stretch  out 
her  neck  and  hiss,  like  a  goose  with  a  flock  of  goslins.* 
I  wonder  what  on  airth  Pugwash  was  a  thinkin  on,  when 
he  signed,  articles  of  partnershi{^  with  that  are  woman } 
she's  not  a  bad  lookin  piece  of  furniture  neither,  and  its  a 
proper  pity  sich  a  clever  woman  should  carry  such  a  stifi 
upper  lip--^he  reminds  me  of  our  old  minister  Joshiw 
Hopewell's  apple  trees. 

The  old  mmister  had  an  orchard  of  most  particular  good 
fruit,  for  he  was  a  great  hand  at  buddin,  graftin,  and  whaA 
not,  and  theorchai^  (it  was  on  the  south  side  of  the  house) 
stretched  right  up  to  the  road.  Well,  there  were  some 
trees  hung  over  the  fence,  I  never  seed  such  bearers,  the 
apples  hun^  in  ropes,  for  all  the  world  like  strings  of  onions, 
and  the  friyt  was  beautiful.  Nobody  touched  the  minister's 
apples,  and  when.otfaer  foils  lost  theim  from  the  boys,  his'n 
always  hung  there  like  bait  to  a  hook,  but  there  never  was 
so  much  as  a  nibble  at  'em.  So  I  said  to  him  one  day. 
Minister,  said  I,  how  on  airth  do  you  manage  to  keep- your 
fruit  that's  so  exposed,  when  no  one  else  cant  do  it  nohow. 
Why,  says,  he,  they  are  dreadful  pretty  fruit,  ant  they  ?  I 
guell,  said  I,  there  ant  the  like  on  ^em  in  all  Connecticut. 
Well,  says  he,  I'll  tell  you  the  secret,  but  you  need'nt  lei 


m 


TBI  OLOOHMAUnu 


|:;^f 


on  to  no  one  about  it.    That  are  row ,  „_  .^^ 

f  rafted  it  myself,  I  took  great  paint  to  got  the  rigM  k»~, 
•ent  clean  up  to  Roxberry  and  away  down  to  0fliMW>Mok 
€k«ek,  (I  wai  afeaied  he  was  a^^n  to  giva  nm  day  Md 
date  for  every  graft,  b^ns  a  terrible  long^windad  iim|ii  ill 
his  stories,)  so  says  I4  JLki^pw  that,  ministtr,  but  how  do 
you  preserve  them  t  wby^  I  was  a  goin  to  loll  you,  Mid 
be,  when  you  stopped  ma.  That  are. outward  fow  I 
grafted  myself  with  the  choicest  kind  I  could  And,  and  I 
■ucceeded.  They  are  beautifiil,  but  so  etamal  loar,  no 
human  soul  can  eat  them.  Well,  the  boys,  think  thii  old 
ministarVgnifitin  has  all  succeeded  aboi^  af  faHr^ji  tiitt 
low,  and  they  sarch  no  fiurther.  Ttiey  miallet  tt  nm 
oraftki;,  and  I  laugh  in  my  sleave,  I  gUess,  at  th«iiflMlra» 
won,  r  ^.;.       /v-;>A  ■•  '  '.,  ,^,^/ 

Now,  Marm  Pugwwdi  is  lika  ^  Xfinlster'i  appliik  iwy 
~ip^  fruit  to  bwk  At,  but  despejtete  sour.    If  Pngwaili 
I  M  watery  mouth  when  ha  mailried,  I  gueti  Itf  milly 
idcery  by  this  tiine.    Howev^,  if  she  gdoi  to  aot  ugly, 
1  give  her  a  dose  of  *«oft  saHirder,*  that  wUl  tah«  tba 
flown  out  of  bar  imtufttobt  and  make  bar  dial-plati  ■• 
fm>oth  as  a  Udc  of  copal  vamuh.    Its  a  pity  she*!  inoh 
p  kioMB*' devil,  too;  for  ska  has  good  pdnto— good  ayt— 
Jood  foot--«ea|  pastom*--^  4sfaeil-«  ofean  set  of  l&bf, 

mi  carries  a  good ,    But  here  w»  art,  now  yoi^l  ••• 

#^«  soft  sawder*  wUldo^  ' 

^  Whenweenl^tfaehou8e,^tniveUers*roomwMan 
in  darkness,  mad  on  qwning  the  oppoaite  door  into  tht 
•ittm^  room,  wo  fowd  the  female  part  of  the  ftmily  axtin- 
puishinx  the  «ie  ft«r  the  night.  Mrs.  Pugwash  bad  a  bKKM 
ni  ker  band,  and  wap  in  tho  act  (the  last  aot  of  femala 
kouaowifery)  of  sweeping  the  hearth.  The  strong  flickor- 
bg  li^  of  the  fii%  as  it  fell  up<m  her  tall  tbioHgure  and 
beautiful  fiuse,  revealed  a  cioatim  ii^orttar  ol^  Iki  @look< 
maker's  comments.  ^ 

Good  evening,  Marm,  said  Mr.  Slick,  kow  do  yon  do 
,and^how|>  Mr,  Pugwasht    He,  said  she,  why  heV  baen 
abed  ^18  hour,  you  don't  expect  to  disturb  him  this  timt  of 
mgbt  I  hope.    Qh  no,  said  Mr.  Slick,  eartainly  not.  did  1 
9in  sorry  to  Jiave  disturbed  you,  but  wa  got  detadM  longer 


'ftSS^:;^"-' 


LitJi  of  Sinclair 


a^^za'^:^^i^/ur. 


/u 


FAi^ddelpkM,  P!iMis?'£<^  l[j  ■  Zindso)  ■  dr  B/aAikon . 


THB  BOA»  TO  i  WOHAIlli  nAET. 


«7 


tbu  n* •ipMted}  I.UD  tony  tktt «— *.  So  am  I,  Mid 
•Im,  but  if  Mr.  PugwMh  will  ke«p  an  Ian  wIwa  Iw  Iim  bo 
oocanoo  to,  bin  ftnily  oaot  enpoot  mo  ntt 

Hevi  the  dockmoker,  neing  the  alorai  g[rtheriiiff»  etooped 
dowaeiidkiBnly,  and  ataring  intently,  hehfout  bisliaiid  and 
fnolaioied,  Well,  if  that  aint  a  beautiAil  child-^ooiQe-  here, 
my  little  man,  and  ahake  banda  along  with  me-^well,  I 
declare,  if  that  an  little  feller  aint  the  Ineat  child  I  eve 
■eed  what,  not  abed  yett  ah  you  rogoe^  iHiere  did  yo 
getdimaioiMetty  roay  ohedta;  atole  them  from  mamma, 
eht  Wall,  I  wish  my  old  mother  eonldaee  that  child,  it  ia 
such  a  tmat  In  our  country,  said  he,  tuming  t^  me,  tkis 
childreB  an  all  at  pale  an  choft,  or  aa  patter  aa  an  orange. 
LcMd,  that  are  little  feller  would  be  a  mow  in  our  country 
>  -come  to  me,  my  man.  Here  the  *  a^  Mwder*  began  to 
operate.  Mrs.  Pugwaah  a^id  in  a  mUder  tone  than  we  had 
yet  haa^,  *  Go  my  dear  to ;  he  awitlemaai— go  dwr.*  Mm 
Slpah  JuMed  him>  asked  him  if  he  would  go  to  thefllitea 
aloBf  with  him»  told  him  all  the  Htde  girla  mefe  would  feH 
in  lofoyith  him,  fer  th^  did*nl  om  aueh  a  bMutifUl  fiHt 
ODMinameiithoffiundnni.  Biaokeyea  let  me  see  ah 
auMHona's  ^es  too,  and  famok  hair  alao  i  m  I  am  alive,  whglr 
you  are  mamma's  own  bo^,  the  yery  iamge  <^mamm«i 
Do  be  seated,  gentlemen,  Mid  Nrs.  PkigWMb--4Sally,  make 
a  fire  ill  the  ne»t  roonu  She  ou^ht  to  be  proud  of  you,  he 
continued.  Well,,  if  I  live  to  return  here,  1  must  paint  your 
feoe^  and  have  it  put  on  my  dooks,  and  our  fdks  will  bujjr 
the  ckwks  for  the  sake  of  the  feoe.  Did  you  ever  see,  said 
he,  again  addressing  me,  such  a  likenwM  between  one 
human  and  another,  as  between  tlu^  beauti&l  little  boy  and 
his  mother  t  I  am  sure  you  have  had  no  simper,  said  Mrs; 
Pujni^h  to  me;  you  maal  be  hungry  and  weary,  too— I 
wit!  get  y«Di»  a  cup  of  tea.  I  am  sorry  to  give  you  so  much 
trouble»  liid  L'  Not  ^  least  trouble  in  the  world,  ahe 
R»lied,  on  the  contrary  a  pteaaure.  * 

^  we. were  then  shown  into  the  next  roan,  where  the  fire 
I  was  now  jblazing  iq>,  but  Mr.  Slick  protested  he  could  not 
i  proceed  without  the  little  boy,  and  lingered  behind  to  ascer* 
[tain  his  age,  and  oollluded  by  asking  the  cluld  if  he  had 
[viy  aunts^at  looked  like  mamma. 


/^I 


0m 


»-mmm 


THB  OLOOBMAKMI. 


As  the  door  closed,  Mr.  Slick  «aid,  Us  a  pity  she  doiiH 
go  well  in  gear.  The  difficulty  with  those  crittivrs  if  to  |/it 
them  to  start,  arter  that  there  is  no  trouble  with  them  if  you 
don't  check  'em  too  short.  If  you  do  they'll  stop  again, 
run"  back  and  kick  like  mad,  and  then  Old  Nick  himself 
woulU'nt  start  'em.  Pugwash,  I  guess,  don*t  understand 
the  natur  of  the  critter;  she'll  never  go  kind  in  harness  for 
him.  When  I  tee  a  childt  »aid  the  Cloekmakeft  I  atwayt 
feel  safe  with  these  women  folk  ;  for  I  have  alwapsflihind 
that  lAe  road  to  a  woman's  heart  lies  through  her  emld. 

You  seem,  said  I,  to  understand  the  female  heart  so  well, 
I  make  no  doubt  you  are  a  general  Tavourite  among  the  ftir 
sex.  Any  mnn,  he  replied,  that  understands  horses,  haa  a 
pretty  considerable  fair  knowledge  of  women,  for  they  are 
jiat  alike  in  temper,  and  require  the  very  identical  same 
treatment.  Jncourage  the  timid  ones^  be  gentle  and  tleady 
with  the  Jractiousy  bvt  lather  the  sulky  ones  like  bla»ea» 

People  talk  an  everlastin  sight  of  nonsense  about  idne, 
women,  and  horses.  I've  bought  and  sold  'em  all)  I've 
traded  in  all  of  them,  and  I  tell'  you,  there  alnt  one  in  a 
thousand  (hat  knows  a  grain  about  either  on  'em.  You 
hear  folks  say,  Oh,  such  a  man  is  an  ugly  grained  critter, 
he'll  brcdk  his'^wife's  heart ;  jist  as  if  a  woman's  heart  was 
as  brittle  as  a  pipe  stalk.  T  he  female  heart,  as  fhr  as  my 
experience  goes,  is  jist  like  a  new  India  Rubber  shoe ;  you 
may  pull  and  pull  at  it  till  it  stretches  out  a  yard  long,,  and 
then  let  go,  and  it  will  fly  right  back  to  its  old  shape. 
Their  hearts  are  made  of  stout  leather,  I  tell  you  |  thefe's 
a  plaguy  sight  of  wear  in  'em. 

I  never  knowed  but  one  case  of  a  broken  heart,  and 
that  was  in  tother  sex,  one  Washington  Banks.  He  was 
a  sneezer.  He  was  tall  enough  to  spit  down  on  the  heads 
of  your  grenadiers,  and  near  about  high  enough  to  wade 
across  Charlestown  River,  and  as  strong  as  a  tow  boot. 
I  guess  he  was  somewhat  less  than  a  foot  longer  than  the 
moral  law  and  catechism  too.  He  was  a  porroct  pictur  of 
a  man ;  you  could'nt  fait  him  in  no  particular ;  he  was  so 
just  a  made  critter ;  folks  used  to  ru^to  the  winder  when 
he  passed,  and  say  there  goes  Washi^on  BanksJ  beant  he 
lovely?    I  do  believe  there  was'nt  a  gall  in  the  Lowell 


f,' 


M 


)y*ll  ftnp  again, 
)Id  Nick  himieir 
on*t  undentand 
J  In  harneM  for 
makift  I  alwayi 
H  alwapa  f&imd 
gh  her  elUld, 
lie  heart  to  well, 
e  among  the  ftir 
da  horiea,  haa  a 
ton,  for  they  are 
/  identical  aame 
'eruUi  and  tUndy 
t»  lik$  bla»e»» 
enae  about  wine, 
>ld  *em  all,  Pve 
ore  aint  one  in  a 
r  on  *em.    You 
r  grained  critter, 
•man'i  heart  waa 
rt,  ai  fhr  aa  my 
libber  ahoe ;  you 
i  yard  long*,  and 
o  ita  old  ahape« 
tell  you  I  theM*a 

oken  heart,  and 
lanki.  He  waa 
n  on  the  heads 
enough  to  wade 
ai  a  tow  bont. 
ionffer  than  the 
irfect  pictur  of 
lar ;  he  waa  io 
[he  winddr  when 
tankai  beant  he 
in  the  Lowell 


THI  ROaO  TO  A  WOHAV'a  HBAET*  W 

(kotories,  that  wnmt  in  lore  with  him.  Sometimaa,  at 
btemuaaion,  on  Sabbath  'laya,  when  they  all  came  out 
together,  ^an  amazin  hanaom  aisht  too,  near  about  a  whole 
oongrraation  of  young  galla)  mnka  used  to  aay,  *  t  vow, 
young  ladies,  I  wish  I  nad  five  hundred  arroa  to  reciprocate 
one  with  each  of  you ;  but  I  reckon  I  have  a  heart  big 
•nough  for  you  all ;  it*a  a  whapper,  you  may  depenn, 
and  every  mite  and  mon^  of  it  at  your  aervice.*  Well, 
Iww  do  you  act,  Mr.  Bahka,  half  a  Jhousand  little  Clipper 
chipper  longnea  would  aav,  all  at  the  aame  time,  and  their 
daw  little  eyea  aparklin,  uke  ao  many  atara  twinklin  of  a 
ftoaty  night. 

Well,  when  I  laat  see'd  Mm,  he  waa  all  skin  and  bone, 
Uke  a  horse  turned  out  to  die.  He  waa  teetotally  defleahed, 
amerewalkin  akeleton.  I  am  dread  Ail  aorry,aayaI,  to 
aee  yon,  Banka,  lookin  so  peecked  ,*  why  you  look  like  a 
ak}k  turkey  hen,  all  legs;  what  on  airth  aila  youf  I  am 
dyin,  aaya  he^  of  a  hrvken  heart.  What,  aaya  I,  have  the 
galla  been  jiltin  you  T  No,  no,  aaya  he,,I  Leant  aucb  a  ftol 
aa  that  neither.  Well,  says  I,  have  you  made  a  bad  ap«eu- 
lationf  No,  says  he,  shakin  hia  head,  I  hope  I  have  too 
mnch  clear  grit  in  me  to  take  on  ao  bad  ibr  that.  What 
under  the  sun,  is  it,  then  7  said  I.  Why,  aaya  he,  I  made 
a  bet  the  fore  part  of  summer  with  Leftoiant  O^  Knowlea, 
that  I  could  shoulder  the  best  bower  of  the  Constitutibn 
iUaate.  I  won  my  bet,  but  the  Anchor  woe  ao  etamal  htoimi 
il  hreke  mjf  heart.  Sure  enough  he  did  die  that  Very  iktf, 
and  he  was  the  only  instance  I  ever  heerd  tell  of  a  broken 
heart. 


-■:i^ 


a 


fnfn  tuimniidimi 


CHAFIER  XI. 


CUMBSRI4AND  OYSTEHS  PRODUCE  mLANOKOLY  VORB> 

BOOINCWk 

'."^  ■  •>■  I     '  ■  ,     ,     t . ,.  ,- 

iyi|  *  |i^  mwdir*  of  the  Olopjiroaker  had  operalti 
^IRMitwiIlv  on  the  beauty  of  Amhent,  our  lovely  hoateia  of 
Pugwash's  Inn;  indeed,  I  (un  inclined  to  think  with  Mk 
Slick,  that  *  the  road  to  a  wotnan*8  heart  lies  tlpovigh  heit 
child/  from  the  (^ect  produced  upon  her  by  the  prai«es<lM«> 
atoWed  on  her  iniknt  boy. 

I  wk»  musing  on  this  feminine  sueoeptilHlity  to  flaltei^, 
lil^hen  th^  door  opened,  and  Mrs.  Pugwiiah  entered  dreaeeA 
m  hut  sweetest  «mUea  and  her  best  cap,  an  ausnliary  hy  oa^n 
meanq  required  Tby  her  charms,  whkjh,  like  an  Italian  ekyi^ 
when  unclouded,  aire  unrivalled  in  splendoui^.  AppvoaphHigt 
me,  she  said,  with  an  irresistible  smile,  Woukl  you  Uke 
li(it*'---r<r,  (here  there  was  a  pause,  a  hiatus,  evidently  m*i. 
tendi^  ibr  me  to  iiU  up  with  my  name ;  b^t  diat  no  peieoot 
k«|0W8,  not  do  I  intond  thev  shall  j  at  Medley's  Hot^  ia^ 
Halifax,  I  was  known  as  the  strai^^  in  No.  1.  The  §(to 
f|i^ti<A  t^at  incognito  procured  forme,  the  importance  It 

Sye  me  in  the  e^es  of  the  master  <^  tbA  house,  atf  lodgi»it 
d  servants^  is  mdesoribaUe.    It  is  only  great  people  whof 
travd  inoi^.    State  travellii^  is  inconvenient  ana  slow  4 
the  constant  weight  of  form  and  etiquette  oppresses  at  onoK 
the  strength  and  the  spirits.    It  is  pleasant  to  trave)  unob* 
served,  to  stand  at  ease,  or  exchange  the  fUll  suit  for  the 
vukbess  coat  and  fatigue  jacket.  ^Wherever,  too,  there  is 
mystery  there  is  importance ;  theiPis  no  knowing  fcur  whom 
I  may  be  mistaken — ^but  let  me  once  give  my  humble  cog- 
nomoA  and  occupation,  and  I  sink  immediately  to  my  OMm 
level,  to  plebeian  staticm  and  a  vulgar  name ;  not  even  my 
beautiftil  hostess,  nor  my  ineuisitive  friend,  the  Clockmaker, 
who  calls  me  *  Squire,*  shall  extract  th^secret !)    Would 

you  like,  Mr. r,  Indeed  T  would,  sayfl,  Mrs.  Pugwash ; 

pray  be  seated,  and  tell  me  what  it  is.    Would  you  like  a 


ouMBMUMim  oraTiM,  STa 


ftl 


iKiK  olT  tuperioir  Shittxatski  for  suopert  Indeed  I  would, 
wid  1,  aaiit  laughing  {  but  pmv  ten  nw  what  it  itt  Lawi 
mel  aaiu  she  with  a  Mtarei  wnete  have  you  been  alt  your 
duyif,  that  you  never'  heard  of  our  flhittyitck  OystemT  I 
thought  every  body  had  heetd  of  them,  i  bes  pardon^  add 
I,  biiii  understood  at  Haliduc,  that  the  only  Oyston  ill  thia 
part  of  the  world  were  found  on  the  shores  of  Pnnee  Edward 
island.  Oh  I  d(»ar  no,  said  our  hostess,  they  are  found  oH* 
llleng  the  ofjast  ftom  Shittyaek,  through  Bay  of  Vartes^ 
I  way  to  Kamshag.  The  latter  we  seldom  get,  thoiigli  thi 
be«t{  there  is  no  regulor  conveyance,  and  when  tlMiy  do 
eorne,  they  are  oenerally  shelled  and  in  kegs,  and  never  ia 
flood  order.  I  nave  not  had,  a  real  good  Riunshag  in  my 
house  thoM  two  years,  since  Governor  Maitland  ^as  K^W) 
he  was  amasing  (bnd  of  thpro,  and  Lawyer  Tiukemdeaf 
sent  Ins  carriage  there  on  purpose  to  procure  them  firadi 
for  him.  Now  we  can't  gtt  f  Aem,  but  wis  have  the  Shitty* 
aoks  in  petfeetion ;  say  the  word  and  tliey  shall  be  semd 
up  immediately. 

A  good  dish  and  an  xinexpected  dish  is  most  acceptable, 
and  certainly  my  American  friend  and  myself  did  ami^ 
jttirtiee  to  ike  oysters,  which,  if  they  had  not  so  elftudeftl 
ft  name,  have  quite  as  good  a  flavour  as  their  fkr-fiuned 
brethren  of  Milton.  Mr.  Slick  eat  so  heartily,  that  when 
he  I'esumed  his  contersatiou,  he  indulged  in  the  moat  me- 
lancholy fbrebodinfi. 

I)id  you  see  that  are  nigger,  said  he,  that  removed  the 
oyster  shells?  weH  he*s  one  of  our  Chesopickers,  one  of 
General  Cu%*8  slaves.  I  wish  Admiral  CkKskbum  had  k 
taken  thcmn  aJl  off  our  hands  at  the  same  rate.  We.  mado 
a  pretty  good  tele  of  them  are  black  cattle,  I  guess,'to  the 
British ;  1  wii^  we  werewell  rid  of'em  all.  T&e  Blmthi 
daid  th€  Whitei  in  thelliEites  show  their  teeth'-and  marl, 
they  are  jist  ready  to  fall  to.  The  Prote8tant$  and  CathO' 
Hei  begin  to  lay  back  their  ears,  and  turn  tail  for  kickin. 
The  Aboliti&nUu  and  Plantere  are  at  it  like  twa  bulls  in  a 
postur.  Moh'La*D  and  Lyneh-Law  are  working  like  yeast 
m  tt  barrel;-  and  Jrothihg  at  the  bunghole.  NtMifieaHen 
tad  TariJ^  arelWke  a  charcoal  pit,  all  covered  up,  but 
^  roing  inside,  and  sending  out  smoke  at  every  (^rackf 


m  Tin 

Utertliiiiiiit  every  now  end  tken  iquere  off  end  eper,  end 
Un  im  Mew  given  will  bring  e  genuine  Mt-to.  tenliitf 
JUeenee  ie  enoUier  boneof  contention  {  like  •  ihin  of  Mil 
UuowB  embng  e  paok  of  dogei  it  will  eet  the  wliole  on  \m 
by  Hie  eere.  .   ' 

^  Yutt  have  heerd  lell  of  ootton  rage  dipt  in  tuneatiBik. 
heTnH  youi  how  they  produce  combustion  i  Welli  1  gueee 
we  hev»  the  elemMits  of  epontanooue  combustion  emonc 
lie  in  ebnnde^icei  when  it  doee  break  out,  if  vou  doni 
eee  an  eruption  of  human,  gore  worse  than  Btna  fava»  then 
Pm  mistaken.  There*!!  bo  the  very  devil  to  pay,  tliat*B« 
finl.  I  expect  the  blacks  will  butcher  the  Soutnem  whitaei 
and  the  Kortherners  will  have  to  turn  out  and  mitelisv 
them  again ;  and  all  this  shoot,  hang,  cut,  stab,  and  bum 
iwitinsss  #iU  sweeten  our  folks*  temper,  as  raw  meat  doee 
that-of  a  dog«-it  flurly  makes  me  sick  to  think  on  it.  Hm 
,  ex(rfosion  may  clear  the  air  again,  and  all  be  tranquil  moe 
mora,  but  its  an  even  chance  if  it  donH  leave  us  the  thrae 
steam-boat  options,  to  be  blown  sky  high,  to  be  scalded  to 
dei^,  or  drowned. 

If  this  sad  picture  you  have  drawn  be  indeed  true  to  na- 
tuns  how  does  jrour  country,  said  I,  appear  so  attractive 
ae  to  draw  to  It  so  laroe  a  portion  of  our  population  ?  It 
tante  ita  attractkm,  said  the  Clockmaker;  its  nothing  but 
its  power  of  suction ;  it  ia  a  great  whirlpod— a  great  vor^ 
let-^t  drags  all  th«  straw  and  chipe,  and  floatii^  sticks, 
drift  wood  and  trash  into  it.  The  small  crafts  ara  sucked 
in,  and  whirf  round  and  round  like  a  aquirrd  in  the  cage-— 
they'll  never  come  out.  Bigger  ones  pass  through  at  cer- 
tain times  of  tide,  and  can  come  in  and  out  with  good  pi- 
lotage, as  they  do  at  JitU  Gate  up  the  Sound. 

You  astonish  me,  said  I,  beycmd  measure;  both  youi 
previous  conversstions  with  me,  and  the  concurrent  testi 
mony  of  all  my  fKends  who  have  visited  the  States,  give  t 
diflwent  view  of  it.  YourfrieneU!  said  tlie  Clockmaker 
with  such  a  tom^  of  ineffitUe  contempt,  that  I  fblt  a  stronjr 
im^ation  to  knock ,  him  down  for  his  insolence— your 
jQnenda  I  Ensigns  and  leftenants,  I  guess;  frcrni  the  British 
marohin  regiments  in  the  Colonies,  that  run  over  five 


kiMMiiii 


mmtmim 


ovunaiktA$iD^vt0HDmf  Kto. 


m 


I 


-  \ 


tIMkiid  niikto^^f  eouhtf^^^^  Ate  neMki,  «ii>Imt«  •(•!»- 
iliicid,  and  ihtlH  nrtiini^  itic>trfiig  «•  witt  m  tbt  aKmli^ 
(mI  mHl  iocm  tile  wortdv    When  their  gel  biiek  iliey  'MW  to 
dkkrk  iUtl  of  knowledge  of  the  YtttiinMif  fhat  it  raiM  over; 
of  jtpMdf,  nke  a  hotfehMid  of  tnotaaeoif  ffoUed  ftbotit  w  hot* 
4<^eath«^— a  white  troth  and  eoum  bubblee  out  of  Ibe  btmg  f  > 
i^riihywatby  tMih  they  call  toars,  eketehee,  tnivettr  letten, . 
alii  wKtt  hot^  vapid  stuf^jist  eweet  enough  to  calcli  flte% 
cMkfoachoi,  atid  half-fledged  gallfi    It  pitte  me  iii  wm^ 
or  my  Prendh.    I  larnt  Freneh  fit  nig^ht  eehool  one  wistert 
at  t«rr  minietet  Joehua  HopeweU  (he  was  ilie  fnoet  laned 
ittan  of  the  aoet  ^  Iw  taught  hiit^lf  ecn  ainoet  every 
languAm  in  Burope;  well,  next  springs  when  I  weiit  i&^. 
Boston^  met  a  Frenchman,  and  IJbegan  to  kbber  awmf^k 
IPnofl^  to  htm  t  *  Polly  woes  a  (Vench'  shayr  save  i.    l 
don^i  i|mderstand  **  o.>  ee  yet,  says  he.    Yon  donH)  mdn* 
staiid  t  says  I,  whv  i^^    V  leh^'    I  guess  you  cUdn't  «xpeel 
t6lH»riiueh  flood  Ft  n  '  -  Jid  you,  away  down  east  beset 
but  we  ifwaic  It  real  well,  and  its  generally  aHowed  we 
speiak  BSnglish,  too,  better  than  the  British*    Oh;  sttys  hey 
you  ono  very  dh>ll  Yankee,  dat  very  good  joke.  Safe ;  you 
tiilk  Indian  ai^cl  call  it  '  ench.    But,  says  I,  Mistor  ilUmht- 
shear,  it  is  rrench,  1  Vow ;  rettl  merclumtable,  without 
vi'if^ny  ed^  or  shakes— all  eleST  stuff;  it  will  pass  survey 
in' any  nmrketMoitfl  nMtdy  stuck  end  seasdnied.    Oh,  veiy 
like,  says  he,  bowin  as  polite  as  a  black  waiter  at  New 
O^lee^^  vefynke,  6t!ilyl  never  heerd  it  afbre  ;roh,  very. 
(Ijood ^ndi  dit— ^lei^r  «h^,  no  doubt,  but  I  no  under*. 
stan^-Kts  cill  my  famk,  I  dare  Say,  Sai«.       y 

ThMka  J  to  iMysiBlf,  a  nod  is  as  good  as  a  wink  to  a  blind, 
horsef  I  seer' how  the  ctttkjump(H-MI.«tister  Jcnows  ao  many . 
Itiiiguages  he  faant  been  ^rticular  enough  to  keep  *em  in 
Separate  rareels,  and  ma#k  'em  on  the  badc^r  and  they*ra 
^t  mixed,  and  sure  enough  I  found  my  French,  was  sq> 
overran  with  other  sorts,  that  it  was  better  to  k)se  the  wholes 
c!rop  thoft  to  go  to  weedin,  for  as  fast  as  I  pulled  up  any 
strange  f>«iedlin,  it  would  grow  risht  up  agin  as  qpnck  as 
wink,  if  theihe  was  the  least  bit  of  root  in  the  wor ra  left  in. 
the  ^tind^  so  I  left  it  all  to  rot  on  the  field.  • 


TBI  flMNMUIAXWU- 

ISwN  M  BO  iriyao  goodio  l»m  Fiwioh  mIo  liv9|tmQQ|t 
Vnb«  MB^  if  you  iMmf  to  undtjNimid  ifCffw  murni  UmMmm^ 
t% IM»;  Tpur  Halb,  HmuIUnw,  and  m  RouMt,  tnd  tuoK 
orittera,  what  am  Uiey  know  of  vat   Caa>  a  chap  oatdi I 
Ukmoaa  flying  alooi^.Uie  railrond?  can  he  efon  a^e  the 
Aatiwet    Old  Adminl  Anaon  onoe  axed  one  of  our  ibU(||, 
albfe  our  glorioua  R«rdatioiBi,  (if  the  Britiah  had  a  kaoini 
*ua  a  little  grain  better  at  that  tune,  thev  wouldn't  haT^fOt^ 
w^pped  like  a  laok  aa  thesr  did  then)  where  ha  come  finom  1 
Fmi  the  Cheaapeeke,  said  he.    Ayoi  aye,  aa^  the  A4« 
miial,  from  the  Weat  Indiea.    I  guess,  said  the  Southanet, 
you  may  have  been  dean  tVNma  th»  iPorM,  AdmiiAl,  hut 
you  have  been  plaguy  UttU  in  <(,not  to  know  better  nor 

that..  •.     _^  ,  .,•%       .,;    y 

I  afaot  a  fild  goose  at  River  Philip  last* year,  with  |he 
rioeof  Vaiginey  nesh  in  hia.crop ;  he  muat  have  crftclted 
OB  aear  about  aa  fiurt  aa  them  other  geese,  the>  British 
traveUera.  Which  knowM  the  most  of  the  country  they 
paaaed  over,  do  you  suppose?  I  guess  it  was  miich.  of  a. 
muchnesa-— near  about  six  of  one,  and  half  a  dozen  of 
totber ;  two  eyes  aint  much  better  than  one,  if  they  are 
both  bUnd. 

Noy)£  you  want  to  know  all  about  us  and  the  blue  noses 
(i(  pretty  oonsiderable  share  of  If  ankee  blood  in  than  too,  J 
tdl  you ;  the  old  stock  comes  from  New  Enfflan^d,  and  Um 
breed  is  tolerable  pure  yet,  near  about  one  half  apple^sarce, 
and  totiier  half  molasses,  all  except  to  the  Bastard,  where 
thue  is  a  cross  of  the  Scotch,)  jist  ax  me  and  1*11  tell  you  . 
cawlidl^.  I'm  not  .one  of  th^on  that  can't  see  no  good 
points  m  my  neighbor's  critter,  and  no  bad  ones  in  my 
owBi  I've  seeB  too  much  of  the  world  for  that  I  gueadi 
iBdsed,  in  a  general  way,  I  praise  other  folks'  beaflt%  wok 
keep  dark  about  my  own.  Saya  I«  when  I  meet  Blue  Nosea 
moirated,  thi^'s  a  real  smart  horse  (^  yowrn,  put  him  out»,  I 
guesa  hell  trot  like  mad.  Well,  he  lets  him  have  tin  spur, 
and  yw  critter  does  his  best*  and  then  I  pass  ^him  like  a., 
itieak  <^  lightning  with  mine.  The  feller  looks  all  taken 
i£»ck  at  that.  Why,  says  he^  that's  a  real  «li{^r  oi 
youm,  I  vow.  Middlin,  says  I,  (quite  oool,.as  if  I  had 
heerd  Uiat  are  same  thing  a  thouMusd  times,)  he's  Ifood. 
anough  for  me,  ^st  a  fair  trotter,  and  nothing  to  brag  o£ 


.|9iitMiiM>  BMV  iAkhiI  tf  flur  agb  k  •  fltoUMral^rtjrtia  ft 
.fR|M|illi«ikl«)h)Mliii>dow.  litwrlfM  wllu  y<Hi^9Ui«^ 
jAMtd-^B  *4MRrbut  ^  itf  it  ftpftiw  MgiiMU4ial«C  t«lk»w 
l|a|Nitlli«ip  to  Mve  their  biMtb  to  «qo1  ikm  Wolli*  .< 
iv^Koiif  you  want  to  know  the  inns  and  th«  onto,  of  At 
J^aakeei  Fw  wiatorad  tham  and  atuAmend  them  f  I  kuam 
m'  thatr  pointo,  alMpe,  naka*  and  famed  j  Tva  tried  W 
ikogridB  of  o^r  foUu,  and  I  kmom  where  they  iatt  short* 
liere  they  mate  *enH  aad  miiare  they  have  the  advantagei 
ah«uft  M  waU  aa  eome  who  think  they  know  a  plagy  eight 
rnoia*  It  tanto  them  Ihatctare  the  ittoat,  that  tea  Um  beat 
ahraya*  I  gueaa.  Our  folka  hare  their  fimltai  an^  I  kamr 
thaniv(I  warnt  bom  blind  I  reokooA  but  your  frieada,  tni 
tour  wtiters,  are  a  little  jsprain  too  hard  on  ua.  Our  eld 
nigger  wench  had  aeveraf  dirty,  ugly  lookin  childiaB,  and 
waa  ]»oper  croM  to  *enk  Mother  used  to  aay,  Juno,  kg 
.Nurneegr  to  wipe  a  thiUTt  noH  at  «Ut  I  g^iett,  liUm  t» 
wrtHgUqf, 


^ 


CHAPTER  Xn. 
TBI  AMERICAN  EAGLE. 

•  '  ■  r 

Jiav  look  out  of  the  door,  said  the  dockmaker,  and 
what  a  beautifiil  night  it  ia,  hb«^  calni)  how  atill,  how  dear 
k  kt  \mxkt  it  lovdv  t— I  like  to  look  up  at  thnm  are  stai% 
wheal  I  am  away  nom  home,  tliay  put  me  in  nand  of  oar 
natieoid  flag,  and  it  ia  fl»nerally  allowed  to  be  the  first  iog 
hi  the  UBiTarse  now.  The  British  can  wittp  all  the  woii{ 
and-  We  can  whip  the  British*  Its  near  about  the  pretlaeat 
right  I  kndW  (H,  is  one  of  our  finrt  daes  frigates,  maimed 
unh  our  ftee  aad  ed%htened  oitizoos,  all  ready  for  aea^;  li 
is  like  ^  great  Araeriom  £agle,  cm  its  perch,  bnhmciag 
ilidtf  for  astart  on  the  broad  expanse  of  Uue  dcy,  aieaied 
ti^  notlun  of  its  kind,  and  jpresident  of  all  it  surveys.  It  waa 
f«ood  emblem  tl»t  we  ehose»wttm*t  it  t 

l%ere  was  no  eyadinc  so  direct,  and  at  the  same  time, 
so  oenoeited  an  appeal  as  this.     Certainly  said  I,  the 


■S    ■  ■'      ,V?'  '»"'!?■*- 


■■  '"■«■ 


|;i»«iiMKi'lHl«|W||l^ 


^^;**  itt^w,  w^  «  eroM  of  JBn^^  and  ^^mftm^SI 


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•  ,  ■  » 


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If      1  T^' 


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UpMf^  mxmm,  it^mmm  ilftl 

i^HM^  irali'|iali|  the  W  hn|Ulli^ 
U  you  ifiwiii^  i)|!^  i^ 

I  mmmm  wmiimi^m     ,  „    .^- 


'i4 


'# 


f'HiiHliiiAii  iMMiJi- 


M 


mi  t-Ji:--v»?*wiii,fwr.,iia  tilt  kii«4«5 

™™^Lr*'?'^»  '***  Mr.SMick.  >  at  hfMKl^S 
jforkin  4to  own  cure,    my  ipiirtjiw^de  4pii» 

is?'  ^  '^^i^^  mw*  give  place  tp  ^*t— ^^ 
JMmw^flw people.    tWiipqftga^iJ 
ajff^^^l)^^^  ^  l^K^iM mckof  QuM :  tliev o^ liUiM 

^mW^jJ  he»r  tlwbugife  <^5ptitty  a<49Ui|dio  off  tlieil 
"WWlkt|p»  as  Anytiun^.    Co&gieflu  wiM  gh%  t|»n4 
w|  «f  land)  if  they  petitioo,  4ivay  to  ^Iei£j|i£f 


M;***=+v 


,  ^2»^^,     x*w  uiHjr  way  to  soaiiie  tftem,  t^;i 


ffi^  W  ??^y  *  "^"^  ^^«  "^wM  the  tF9 

J  r*5^  W^JP?^  won»a9,  ^  real  ciOameiivti 

r2?f'*\*^°°"*'^*>»fc  twokedaUdlpcked  tooJ 
f  l^f  liar  oi^iiaix^l  whedevilt  that's  a  fact.    8hi 
?  J^*il9?»^:.o»  1?«  w«g»r»  iifsi  «p  every  ^y.  and 
■^y^^eommon  severts,  aiid  their  screams  and  sa^lS 
1WW  fcortia— «o  eoal  could  ftand  it?  nothin  was  heSd  iS 


% 


.1^ 


•Wk  ijiggiiiijp^ . 


»r7 


'Bill  irltiiiV^IL 


lliit  it  WM^ nplBter  tNit  ft  iMii  Ho . 

,  nf"^  wMi  mnriffrt  ^Mm liitMiifcfhiit  Wi't'^mpf'm 

n  {  YOU  tHRRdi  'SMwir 


trO,  •pot  tnyi«il,|  *f^  f«dl  W  w 
mtmnifmt my  wiolaff  tiaie.    (Tbt  1M| 
tjilvivf*  tli»  noil  ci«Mi  mM  ibe  db(Skiiiilt«f'i  Kl0 

W«i|  iHiMi  iliejr  ivini  9»^liili  ^1^  iM^ooMini  # 

-  Hilt,  (hty  looked  ttwiMwMp,|bti  ttwiT  dii|ML  fl 

.Mr^R^BiegoiMr  to  Mt^AO  ii^ibS^  «ii4  tti^ irtidb^ 


Iii4   |A«#ideit  ^Mf  theft  wifh  lib  i»9Viiliiii, 

MHMit,  my  ^toftoh;  fiiwr  tiiil  lia^  Oi^  ^ 

iM'lHMiBr 'dill  aihpt'Iitfveii^.'lttiNt^nftt^  .^^ 

Z^  lis tiMkt;  Mbr  (^  'C^i^  «  ^t|«|eL  ^  to 
3r4it  tfiiut  91^  «i  kMrt  ••  Ktf^ci,  #  till  fi^ 


'4«l#^ 


.\ 


Ihl 


5i|«y 


I 


0oiiik'tldU«aj||ir,pngr, 


ilftNM»-Ol£MJIIIwiii; 


.K;.3iJ 


VJ 


'Mmsm. 


hdi. 


of  yoa 


^0?  5!th  tSti-; 


'  r.    '  vjy 


t^l 


*Q,Mi(|.wlWt 


re;  pill 


ifi 


W»1 


.l^i 


m^ 


m 


m 


a  wrt^.^ 


H' 


li"::? 


■^; 


ann  iir 


,7.i*-M 


I,  V       •      » 


m'^^ 


Tm  next,  mqrning  wsf  winner  tlnui  eevntpL.thtl  JmI 

iiikim^Riid^^SW^    mini' -'mmm 

W,  iff)  |kve  t)r«t«iQiMi  ()vtr  illB 

it  fktltti ,  ind'  fiittite  praeMislii  lif 
tik' ta24  litu>H(»'Wrffie  if 

w|.Muntoe  bolfWf'ea  iritli  piwatii 

iMt  why  debt  you  oome  to  the  7V«e4kiont  houte,*' 

ihe  most  splendid  thing  its  generally  aUowed  iti  all  th# 


'^:W 


li'.      '•<}      i      ,\U!/ 


I 


tu 


«••■  k't  too  fligj  dtn  nr  OM,  1  out  aflbra  itrM;  Ivm;* 

iT  ftnel,  door.    I  Muw.iM'P 

_    i|ByLpftf,ijml«I  ;<^^^ 

n^l  4qiptt|ik»K<Uipw^liB,lo«M  ip  MMtii 
M  potoible,)  I  nerer  fcoew,  myi  lie,  ■  loiiH||| 

iMfmr  %IM  %(?■■;  v.lMi  <wMI  iMif  <ait/  mmmS  4^H  |» 
■hiiiitimii  rioiwit»i»^IM».  Willk  MM  I»  11091  iioni^l  Mt 
ltoowteil>ilrilPPil>Wir,t4fin),;h<<p.#  ufaMyytf  yiwi  iMWdl 

W,!a»i  #9r>Mi  MIck.'tR)  iNHf  o«  Mmi  «»]»tl^  Im 
>rytihMiiiir md  if .1 ! lih»tlBi»  I  <iii)l,i)K«Mii  liiM.   a^  WjiMi 

ItiMAMii&tia:  pdiwf  'yon  Jopi  «.«tiii.  nrrWhi|»  IwvqHirtM^ 
li;  iiid,  itliilildl  ithfc?hwie^M»aiiH^yf»nd  M«d  tW^fyribsv 
ipw  IwliMwd  OoHm^'tajr^  I»  yoo  c«(»  gst  i^oiblD  ipoeitt 
wUhiw^  I^<m4  ifarkMi  fNrarter  oatet   mvw  hold   nod 


1^  MiHirfllMl  iBtflfc' 

Iv  BaQ  |wV  jWW 


,mii6ii'  "Weill  ir  ti 

HMV}  fO'l  IM0MqCWriK)WlQnMB4«^ 


■lit    iMit  iMt'ii#liiini*iitk   *tM*rMwtfi  *Mli   *At    il^^  mJLm.-  ^tMM^^t^    ^^^^^ 


#f|l'«ai'  flMihol  liot^tlho*  ibf^tmrntimv  m^-i^fkllk-^mm^ 
llb)|pt:>ldir;ftigir^'ki».1i«iB»^«ttd  Myi'hek  «;iri>P:i»^%; 

illiil1[T)>i>iMrtiN"»ith  'M.flrqpiir s«iklt  ^li  tnallvfllip, .  ^ 
4i(Bf ^ngr  }tm  4^r  Um^  CNriabtlM  miiK^lli^ — ' 

ipiiigi^MMli!iMt«iliifii%  it  #yq|igb.% 

Winii  fill  %'>#MMa  -fliiDfiir^stPP  yil%«la^<*pWVi}4^ 


iiiwWwyjPyii  ^w-PiP?ri^PWf  ^*W^W(^!%^ 

fill 


to  ■ir«tUf%  Mid  yqil  IWII^WP*^  r!W»t^W 

Ml».«il»liililwc^  filly.  IImt.  )^?^V*^4  Wfti^i 
1ll«i.Mflof|b»!V«V«n  W  goim tip  WW  ' 


irfWMritt  ftadofeipoeti^ioidy^MiiT  Imitv>i^  itjNtoi 
iveether  by  a  long  chalk:  and  then  he  loodced  doiisirtvk 

m'mtckmotit'mBafU^^  lirittimiiht 

-  ij»ili^iiiii»af^taJiu|i«r(iBc»{iiHaiH£r 

r  ioi  «if  %  ili§  OiMiiMii  ^m^Mft^ 

faA»»^*#|^  iMMii  mtfl^fegMsi  Bon 

~^'alttU'f«  flto-'Blttpetorr^illbirfafliii 

itkfft.BS^rafia  ^f0o»<dti^lfid  ttmiM^ 

ei)iriiVl^hiI  libit  'octi  hb''«Wlii^it>iiib$ 


^'niAiiWfiit 
¥  Hiie;(iiirtiy[ 

»t1^^  to  hA#litk»e»|^'y  doHo  feWtlftHilBll^iwir 


*e 


tin  cimWKMWiifiaPWaPir,  Bia 


tf  I  fir  I  aiiii  I  HtttiBii^i  r  it  ii  i^b'fl^MiMaiMidil 

u  old  miiter  Iw^  ji  darter,  a  real  clevW  lookiBg  gidl 
«a  yoiiM  tee  in  jLjiay*!  ridR,  and  «hn  had  two  or  Ohm 
omm  of  nuutMkge  from  spomdUo  mexh-Hnost  jNurtiealat 
good  specft— but  nunister  always  said  *  Phcibe,  you  an 

'  too  youwg'^jJPi.^'X  ^  a?pw*j>  y^  "« <*»  y«»^ 

yet,  dear  J    Well,  Phosbe  dBcTnt  Oimk  to  at  all ;  the  wmi 


no  notion  to  loae  another  chafes 

1«».  Ml  lM9«l^i  !>1M^a!#i|/.^««Mb^ 
'i^ijyb  tf^t^thaicf&iuiii^  ia  laaijibiiMi   |h> 


HsKf^t^v^^  IflftH^IW^^i^wr  »wB>rli^*it»'^i«i^ 


t5|iRi**i'ife'iJ  .j'oi  i.-i^i  ■i'.>.'>'     ■-'       ^-^  i'-'v/  viiL.-.-.'i^ixvrbi-aa 
fO^NH^^^Ii^^- tlie  QoelialalMr^<rihiniiwS4iMaiMf(il^ 

all.  It  uuriy  makes  my  dander  riae,  to  8Mr>tfw  aaaty  Mw 

P%,^»t4Mmmm  d(»iatdftiiiyfii»;;Mhi9*i4iflt^to 

,  iftffllMf^  lniB»l  voir.  !> J^y  «ug|ftiio  he<^ujlMd'iiMMr 

^  ^^Mf«  mk*  you  fi«g^U;;.;yfMl,  «li*%i^iiiHiip 

Htt 4!%)tfHaK|<iVapt•^«er^TWitt«^k*f^ell0llgki^  miilliiupg 

ifli» A  doriWe  y ) Ml^it<l:  ;L.  ■;?[  -li  ny  l^u:  ,k->vh^ 

aiJm  <#eo.  aMudeiAilo, this  aubjeot^  and  Unit^ 

i^lBSilM  «NMEUiQ»{;  Ilam  iBB&ed^te  tUidirJifi'  far 

Urtki^i^y99f9»:  on* ilia  laiboaii  I  rc;adj^  «l»f 


Die  bot  eoceotric  CIocknakAr*  lirimm  M^^  lililirA Ai^i 


i'liii..    hit'i.i 


1 


csdi^Tm  aiav, 


:jil' 


^-M   .  Hr 


-..  —  ^'Q».iia9««(iia  iiwik»«  fittijp  «r'  m'  i^  thu' 

mamberitkj  you  were  next  door  to  •Ibd,  liff  f  "If  rtjiitf 

wlMi .ilBMneakee*);'.  o;  .v<va  -ir/t'.M,-?)  ,;>.,, ;  .u^4*  vn^j^;  U,,*^, 
/4ll^;jlfaM#>€«BMfluid^ifi)llrii  lMM%>«liiitwii'>'iiUi' 
«N9MK»iii^7|oo|  HMtf  ewfiifcibed  by  ditAf  Ibai^ 

#111*  MdpiriitlilliQfnfifeptw;^ 
a«iiriii»;  BaMir  «M  Baj^l^wit*  on  tdHier  t4M>^dbt  #3^ 
«»)atpmrii»  b#«iitMrf  iihij^cm  <i^  «(i  llieir  ^oteeiii  iii' 
pcdrtice,  ftQd  great  hmdaf^ittmnM^b^^jmA^ 
IlplMi6i^I}aioiM,  iod  whatii^  Q^^^  ftlk»i^^M!dt 
»  Oiip^  tMyciui*t  diiiigrt'tell  tl»Mltiii'  iii^4bsm'mtmi 
4fm  tliqr^t»ik»  ibeir  8lifa»«||»»M^^:;  ^d^ 
other  times,  they  go  whap  into  a  quicksand,  and  if  th^y 


unm  mmmmm^  mtanLtn. 


■i 


ti^  * 


Mil)  HMtrq^iUiMHWMr  ¥otf.%)^  ««']|. 
«^aMi  d^yolMcitMi  M^i%  Jbu;«#liyH(i«^f oik 
Hpfiaito'ibrilidrilil^  (Nil-  litttliylf 'lMi^1Mfitt«r'^ 

iMiimialiSMiwiio  mbckt«»lftolv%tW         nAeimmik 
IhMM^Ih^W  iMl^^itav^'lni  ibiu|Hl«lte##] 

iirilli!itvMij||»t  iiii  ]n9iiiii'aiftffii^'1SK«il,'fliW^  . 
«l»/ltlte<««A  teal  iio<lbiiier^t«if«  iftiim  ^  iSac  «li 

nMilb'^«liM(POlkMM^faiMflfwb'!i(k#ffM^^     " 

i^mit»¥S^im^iiudktm^\64i6/  iiim'ykifii 

tai»»i»#liaiai^iliia»>!|i^  coHHT  HifA^tM^M 

Mif«»i«il9it«>giii  •MidtedAit^ii'lM}  g^t'^  fll^  mM  of 'tHi 
ridjii  iiiiMil iHyiiiliiJii(ji<  lwi»ta)il^?Ki^v»  <#i»«%i>fflre#  MM 
'mhm^'mkoMbMBm^ ^  1^,  how  i»n^  iivtf^is  if.^ff I'i^dditti 

in  toe  wofid^  too ;  for  you  might  see  him  -Bometimes  of  an 


limrmn^ 


mmvm 


TfSr 


|er»  l^ppi^fpt^  jpp  fdooij  <iiotluii  wDk  ^hm  |(«r  iiks;<itiMi» 
Iff)  llWcli<iiMmUBeiyH$lKmt  t|i»*|4ougb^lt  irtadblfBhiriui 

i^m^fliMiiMai*'    He  InmI  tonciiuv ilM  ttMttil 

h  t(^  ODe»  quite  Jnowin^  w  mueh  u  to  s«V|^  wiiaM 
,  JilR^ii9fdei^<Bminil|^v  FoHis  twNiMtiite 

.n^.^ .  ^t^Nliii#f9f#  i)if.9i«plf«d}ai  ft!p*8k.dQiii^  pdEirx 
ffl!^m%.^]|'«fMl(l#«M  ;hesy3B>ji^fart»ibiitittlgiwiiit4 


uniraf 


bMi  lioviluMt  kmntrn'to  i»>*  jMgMiyi  MeAil^  ii^^i«  flt'ti 
oftirrjr  ttieink  bom  ibr  one,  and-i^  MnM^wMy  iMl^ 
wmA  of  a  miitslM,  he  nye  it  it  ell  owing  to  the  Couni^; 
The.  membefe  ere  cunning  crittera,  too,  they  kooir  lUe 
itolin,  end  when4hey  eome-heme  ftom  hamiuiwyt  end  peo^ 
pie  em 'en,  **  where  alb  ell  them  ere  fine  thinge  700  pro^ 
njeei  uaf  Why,  they  eay,  we'd  a  had  *biu  ell  ibr  you. 
hte  for  that  etahud(>iAJiei|;AtfeiyAi^fied  ell  ^  Tte 

ooMitry  will  bome  to  no  good  till  them  chepe  ahow  their 
leepMt  for  it^;  fayrteevnfing  tMft^heMimM.nrfth  homeapu£' 
H  a  men  ie  eo  temation  uay  Le  wont  work,  and  in  oonree 
ImK  MmmMf^^m^'  he^'ei^ii  all  'Mil  l»ithb*'teiMl$''tley 
tina*  ^dUeeiiiit,.tiMre^eJ«>riiMBey,'tliey^ve'^y|lifi^1^  fm^ 
iteae^  itf  IkeM'  ke«ftt  a  ikMfd  made  up  to  ef«i^  oMib9% 
4eai|''awiiKiih«ek:ief<'|Mi' wieea^  t^ho* e**lUlt# dl  Mbritai 
^■jjui  tfaee)  whf  he^«aya^^  Bmrn  ^  JmMtitfyi^ 
liaaiaial^  tin  mimr  «b  ^m  giidl  mMt'e^^diiiei,  itiNI  nlM 
nelUngiieft'lbr  fcttr  eeltten,  «nd  emiMi  rtiiilib  <'itre&,dtl 
WBecoawin  fof!thdir#hu»>  of  dike  dad  ale^to^  tf  i|ig» 

neb  ^taeilte  MNntoe  of  Orifclt  <M»myi  nniimiil 
IniieMfiidliiUbw,  a^grialhanii*^  ii«it;/iL 

;ak|i«kl^dM^«akeiil  ildtiitk/ gaily  eWI  i(rM^^Wi^# 
M|<«^%  wnadoiriatweie  4)ftJke^  it  wikr  Jim  MaiiMii^^^^M 


,  Mift  a  ootiiit>tk»uifi|  amMrliii^  fimp^llM  l««r,  iniiri  J»mil 
Ilia  Um^,hi.Vi§^w>Umm  imtyMmmlikm^wmmg  (man 

|i(M(iwlliBNt  m*  a  JiL  ift*  itt  iNHitioM  1  «•  in  kmmti  vlbui 

.^kilDflbiHtf  a luaatr liMllWiieatf  akoiit Up 4a thaitiMgiil^lwU 

Mkat  aalfwiil  hiia  r  i£bA4tMip»flia*«  aea^nidMHiifVtfpgit 

mlmm^uAMyLAim  too*,  i ; ■.         nk  mv,^  m.m  ^mk ■ 

.\hmuK)  •>j|'-  ('■.'■         •  ,',...'   ...;;,,  ,,  *;,.  I,...  ,^ 

■    ->  ■■.■.|  r?n»  ^'^fl'.ijTt'HiwA  III  I,  I  i  ..lu'iiiri  mtium  i'otl*  w  ■  ^       ^-.u,      r!^l 

:**'fij     '  {  •  ■:.'-■     'iU'J  9-w  mwih  iU --  !!•?»  »^,rt:s^'  ^B«|q 

jlh'i'^^     1-":     .,i!    tij:*-     i'l'ff   1!   f/'"W   /;''.:>   V  >i'      //M  //        "t  ,■;♦    L-f!(*J^( 

^,{p.uHr$^.Hi  !i'l«»«iHtfietNd^i|A«n«-iiim(>Ai»'^  -''-  "''^h^^x 

am  ailif(i«<tliftt,at»  fttedaatiiiidiainal  tiMit»^afal  ihMStlH 

iiiali0l^>  H  laakat  piy.lMid  laobe*;   ar^oMTm  imtA  tkfimim 
fi%r«,«>wt,  aaidihti  hataH jNMi»^dU  yoii  ite»ifi4%«{Qli^ 

A|{%!J^iIm^  I  vowll  inia  laat  timd .1  m^iii^  iWa 

liin^aao  aii^'isiBgcfs{«apriitoai  Mii^tiitoal;>l^ii%(^ 


TUB 


Dumii  lit Ji  iwdAi>i 


m 


eV«rai«liawffi1lM^i^ 


^imj^  9mmi  Tott  uutt  m>  tiS^i^^^.  > 

1 1^#/  aB^  IJeloo&d  Ma  knot^ih  (m  tt 
Nre*iiy.   86 1  •bbuld  flililk,  MldT,  „^ 

fhtfoiit  rdtkt  itt  to  ooniaboinedly 

m  moH  -im  Mm  &n  m  time' 

liQtuiftfs,  tiieir  be  ^1^  <if  fi|«  tnhri 

sipte'ilor  tiitijaf  of  bur  yiuig  il^kir  arb  ^ „ 

^ J,*  lor  ffie^  import  mnWii  add  ii6iiMluib  tfeiii  tft^ 

0S^lli^  '*^  ^'»'^*» » *#i  ,you— «oihe  of  t^e  etocl  nrnpfta 
Mlpr'air th^  rest df Itidr  Uvea.  Th^*a  iiotia» Fhirte 
JP-2.:it  ^^^  ^t,  bf  il  Icind^;  ib  a  iOie  aigh  6f  a  tricky 


MS^y^  arejiat  ile  aanie,  and  evef^  niite  and 
^  ^^  la  6aA  tt  a  tawVer  takeaipcaotia;  ifa  liketlie  ft»i 
>ieaei|iii  to  the  geei^t  ^1l  ^y9,  h^a  whole  congnigati<m ; 


idif  a^oc^r  ta|cea  to  i^  he*!  a  Juaick  aa  aure  aa  rate^ 

""   '  ^y  on  yw^  fer  he  wont,  Td  ioooKr 

„-„^  ..its  li  naked  Mo|^an|^  time,  than  oi^e 

ITiOoyjered/^Ui  liad  bait.    T]be  tiah  wfll^aqaietimea 

\p¥i  w^ou^  ^inlih,  hiii  they  iet  Inptbned  at 

;tW  t9n^  l^l'lve  t)»- m^l  1^ 

eyi4  baVean  electioh.tnbit  tll^y  next  year, 

liiliM^wta»f<^wa«/    Ac|iic|i||to 

i<»  njHin,  and  a  n<iw>  henL1|i{4 

tin  hukda  m  m^  ^^^ 


tMOTfa  .a  man^a  mannen  Hke  an  elec 


9  ttMST,  JD 

..^^^Sj^  it  <#at  the  e^  w^  a  leal  -^ 
a  amile  vox  all  the  world  aa  aweet  aa  a  eat 


m 


:^^<^'^('T^^<t  f*fW^IWP^^*l!  IfH'? 


taiQ^Md  t|p  li^fo  boy  th»t  mmktm  •  iK9Bil9rAil.«np# 

mm*Ulofm^^  iiHkM>  nod  «  toUip  of  lum  how  jomiil^ 
^u«  Ji%jrpa4  ihat  Mi  lo  iiif ,  locftiioa  ^n  beoo  qm|mM^ 
^  hm  much  h0  wanii  to  find  t  nil  complete  iu4  ibi 
mf^  bun<r  a  IMdgB  ovee hit  brook,  u^d  «z}n  biipi  iUS 
Wt  (Mie.  .Wben  he  mtt  the  hook  fatitodi  with  the  fighl  ji» 
And  the  simple  critter  fe;egiiw  to  jump  oikI  of  w«^«  lurtiir  L 
il.T»t^  "n^.  i"^  »K»  ww^  up  the  M,  wid  tfie^  Ime^ 
0m)m  to  hioM^lf,  <  now  you  mo  wh»t*f  to  Ihe  feii^M 
m  pe,  I  guew  I*U  know  wheie  to  find  yoo  when  J 

Jl^^SJf  "^.^  ^  ^»^»»  rpquirat  io  mudipnii^^ 
P* .  y^t^mt  if;  fcwce,  one  woivn  imlit  inmrer  Ihr 
jrr^l  Jslk  A  h»^4m  of  oatt  in  «  pan.  Alter  kMinm 
W  ¥."*  !ff  *"^  PM<^  for  the  kuMe,  lemr^  fitr  anoOwr f 
ajhakm  ont,  il  tetter  than  a  giyin  of  ft^  i^veath^^ndii 
#' ;*?o<'>^  *!?>«•  It«  *  poorhipineMi  artei^  aU,  to  ^K 
^j0ef  «^,  ^,  w|H»n  « %  D<m0$  MagUr  k  ^£MJ  Wi 

P^My  ^^  •  ****  •*>  ^*  ^W»  M  g^  lii#l  at  af 
u^f^in^  die.  It  tante  every  one  that*a  hoom  oddilill  to 
«in0e  led  qpinpletie.  Pf^tiea  tjkk^ a fl?mt  deal  ^ffti^ 
•M  n^ids  away  a  mpqi's  honepty  nealr  aiwttt  «•  filtt  As 
!^mmL  *  iMiife  witiji  hrk^  dint,  «#  «pftM  iff  iMel  oi^ 
W^J&lia  dniler  git  arMr  «U  for  |f  inihia  Goomtry,  w 


e^^|>^naei1i^ 


Mmii 


I  caiied  a  ibur  year  o0,  coh  o^,  half  Uood,  a  ^t^,« 
Mtanr  of  a  horee,  and  a  g^ine  dbper,  coiild  piU»  Ulw 

Ss^is  ii»'  etS  iss^;^  * 

Well,  I  toqk  H  down  to^ivoet'at  Il4^  fi 
,^  iw  went  id^ with  me;  for  layi  He,  Si] 
aomiaa^w  ^ery  ^lingn  gtte,  yon  hint  c»t  y«rt-\._ 
^bL  and  yoii  a|i9  goin  imong  IMb^  MiitVhid 
-J  tiiek4  ginns  timi  wh0e  pait.    WeR,  wh^  #o  fiif 
i«0W,'Taithet  hb  get^coit  atid  poti  Mn  kk  mm 


f 


* 


TmM  nHnnMr  WTHr  AHUmuI>  ^V 

lleloolMl Hke pld  Niek  tkfttV  t  MTTbte  hi IhiliuiMli 
iMfWu'  Mi UMtitt wMt oil ifftCh |f^ y<tei|t.  1  Wf 

iM^lilm;'  i|it«jiilWam*t  Iwni  fmeMttfitmha^i^ 
tail  te,  I  ttowllrliiit  I  am  at  I  gueit  n^  %  R  faito  'ifto 
mi^  Vfe  ^ne,  atf  alidk  as  a  trhlftle.    I  gotts  I  otin  M 

ITetr,  ditiiM^  nef^  emnA  the  Ik^  at  aH^  W  stood  Irr 
mmtOfrnkf  nam,  md  the  wiimk  Itoae  "will  JMki^ 
iilii6dr'!>f'^tKe'liMU«0r  of  t#io  6r  tiiiNBe  mi»^  pe^'4, 
praisbi^if  him  alid  admirih  him.  They  seemedai  ir  f^r 
never  had  seed  a  hone  afore.  The  ownisr  of  him  waa  an 
#  oil  iMiid  &  boasHii'  df  hfan,  HtsA  a  etunojpiii  fh^  course  <o 
MNidMbe  a  Iklrse  to  Tulk uffai  hhn  for  four  hmMftedlidl^ 

famtm^iip  to  hN  i^i^itt  m  s6ft  as  dp^  #itf  i^ 

iifiiBH^il  yMi  piia^  t|hd  liajrs  hs,  fmoA,  mSiM  e^er^ 
tfku^  ^^  ftliit  famid^  doWMN-^ts  a  m^j^  omw 
t^tenyott^  iroiitd  TQ^  iPim  for  oiw iiutidied 
iiid'i^  pti  t  Ifttle  stai^t  t  !f  you  ira^y  l*d  trjr  my  ceif  (i| 
df  %  oiit  ilra|»oii  agin  yttu,  t  Yd#.  Le(*e  'feoir  at  faii& 
K^ilie,  yyii  hei  to  away  Ihey  iNsnt,  a^  i^per  sight  df 
|iid^  tmi  Mm  to  l^l^  aiebtt,  and  vheH  Hiey  s^  I 
#1  ii#  sttbh  a  W;  Ifolt  eeit  a  niosf  iMy  to^i^ 
u  Says  1  to  n^s^n%lu^t  cati  pby^s  the  titf  itt& 
!^%li6r  ^  ftshioii,Tdb  believe  hdfaai'takeh  Idl^ve  c^ 
i^ies.  Y6u  need'*^  larf;  siiys  &l9i^;  hc^i  smarts  Mi 
tflo^t  <^rlfltiik#ir%  ohThorsiB,  Orptaiu  J«ek3'>«^ 
dhbd  as  ^dt  a  hedst  of  ISs  ate  as  any  hi  qi(tlcieait§, 
iiid  that  ate  ooft  dm  beat  him  for  a  licR  qT  a  duartei'  of 
<)<lite  ei^'^I  seed  It  iiiyiiietr.  Wifell,  iey  la  ^ 
er  ftsluif  befove,  and  teyii  fa^r»  if¥ou  daiMte  #i1 
i;  tiy Mfj  wi^Btf  oWwiH  yoirjKtvef  1^  si^ 

the  qwne^— 800  to  400  dollars.  Well,  that'll  a  gieitt  m 
erin^H^^  «llit  it,  eays  fotliBr ;  if  I  #a8  fo^>9e  it  Pif  Idok 
"""-  f  fo^Pi  M^  I.  |[o#  folks  would  pad  Ifte^ 
rat  n^  when  I  went  horae  an^in.'  You  would*i]ft  talKi 
.  m  ^aJBgbtt  aild  harness  f^  Afty  doflam  of  It  ym^& 
pit  says  ie:  '  We»i  says  the  Other,  so^merlili  d^ap^ 


■nn 


.Mi:'- 


^ 


iV* 


VOttf  flMBB'  OB^  imiMI 


.h  t 


,V  Af JM«  V  it  WM  MttH  *tM  dritw  (4r  19  Ihil^iiMi^ 
•B^mmif^rDtinoiinted,  wilhandi  m)^  poclm  lMnMlii» 
•hitr  tied  roiiiid  liui  bMd.  and  oolt  •  lobUM  Uk*  M^i— li 
mrVfm  —  •  atbob,  e^Mk  flill  of  pmriqftllha  ^  wlf$ 
MM  or  •  ^mo  PMT  pair  of  liowMr  ftlliwtm  i  mm  mk$ 

Ihpt;  Imnfe  %lu  •how jpfaij  |bf  it  jil,  wys  a  tUfii ,  apl  | 


Iwera  oM  ftUer  My,  Tguwi 


Mplfty«witj«C, 
IguMi  thaH^t  a 


ligukr  yaakfff  Ifioki 


•  oonpMatalwiii.  Tliey  M  a  Am?  pHii  far<  U,  laA  «r 
Mwr  Ml*  Mier  took  tha  kad  and  kapt  it,  and  wmitka  ifM* 
^'  it  WM  a  pretty  tight  acfi^h,  for  fathar  wm  loo  oM 
tojfidB  colt,  he  waa  naar  about  tba  mftttejr  pt ^tfif^^fnm 

^,  w)^  tba  oolt-iRfa  wa^  v^imd  aOaf  fbf  J»Mb 
jnaa  an  aijMudii  cioyd  act«p  ^aI^  and  api^il  ivp«||i| 


IIT  him  {  hut  aaya  fluher,  hotf  aiif\  I  to  opt  hopM  iri|k» 
Mf  hb^  an4  what  shall  I  do  mth  that  ^  waggcp  fM 

%  talk,  till  he  mt  thfoir  mi^  pret^  w«l|i  9ii|i  •!  W  M 
l^lwith a Sou^temar for 700  dollaira; and W9. qi^MiiJi 
hknng  made  a  eonndeiaUe  goo^  nee  of  oofli  Ipin 
i^hii^r  to  ine,  Bam«  Mys  he,  yoo  aeed  the  evo«f4  f^fimfk 
m^  wfaiDin  horae,  when,  we  came  there,  didnl  x^  t  TMi 
•»,  taid  It  I  <hd.  Wetl,  when  90H  bei^  him,  |Ki  fnw  W 
md  himiit  ap»  M  «?qimi  a  c«oHf4  ^^^oiit  ^  ^  W* 
-    nlvlQri  aaid  he,  aoon  woih  ^pon^loaHfCiiM  iM^^a|ii 


^ne  minute,  and  deaerted  the  aieoftf^  zu^  dpwn^i 

share  tl|e  .Mme  ikte.    |Ie?U  g^haalftfoini  loi|ii  an^ 

he's  dooe  for.     The  mult^tud^  are  alwnyf  %k(a 

'     Our  great  Washington  found  tl^  o^^  «|d  m 


h  bfileer  tpai  heat  Bnooapart^)  the  <  wA  thay 
^    'tniM.  sour  afom  ho  got  hoM"  through  ^  Iqal*  Ifif 
|(Mf,  ^  hitfdiy  stiflhned  aloM^  <«f Jr#t  back  «b  lye  an! 
aipn. 


^[tym Mrved^the  sainf  way, t  liked  to  h»va^ mjeaednif, 


M^akHi--4he  Conrautfw  said  I  waz&H  at  BonkorS  hiil^  at 


Tm 


•AtaOAD. 


.)'  »1 


t»4tm  ht  tmA  9tbm  ym  itop*  M  I  jin  mM  i)i  tad  loik# 
lMn4  mjwrff.)    Y«,  Mv^  li  you  4UI  *«i»  AitiMn  MoptW 

you  mt  'MB  <M  the  rkhl  OMt  diTfll  ilt    lM%  MhMw 


'a  •  «orul»  Aa«r  fo  mmy  ^'^^f  ^"  aolir.    Novor 


5W 

Iwfo  Bothm  Id  do  with  otodaoiis,  you  mo  Um  valy  of  _ 
iMily  b  tho  OMO  of  Unit  aro  horae    lonre  ^lie  puhlio 
liiiiM,  um)  Um)  lOOOch,  if  they  donH  ogveo  with  you,  thaj 
dawfft  and  abuae  you— i^  hpHK  l|wy  MTved  old  John  Adanoi 


popu* 
oMO 


■ie  how  they  let  Jefleraon  atarre  in  hia  old  aoe,  aee  how 
good  old  MuMP^Nfce  lo  have  «ol  light  xm 'A  after  hia 
tenn  oflVe^ident  waa  ujph  They  mar.  talk  of  mdependei^ 
aiya  firths^*  hut  Sim,  n|  teR  you  what  indepettdenea^iii^ 


1&: 


mJA  te  gave  Ua  haoda  a  alap  agin  .hia  trowoeil^MriM^' 
and  made  the  fold  eagM  he  won  at  the  iraee  all  jiMde  mUm 
-Mkm,  my  hbt  giting  them  ahother  «rf|ie  whh  Ma^fal^ 
(and  ^vfalkBi  aa  much  aa  to  aay  do  you  hear  Hhtti  mer  h#9l 
IMtJfoilliMlMidMMt    Ha  waa  m  great  apiiita^  theoli 
OMI, he iHia  8&  proud  of  winninthe  raea, aid  putlhillM 
laidi»hi^th«'N«^ToflMf»^^leokOd  tfldinder.    |ii 
tiMd  grant  hungtv,  ill  ihfourad.  long  legged  Utiemai  layv 
Ik  (edy  ^  oid&d  thein  by  another  pame  that  don*t'  aoun4" 
<^  prel^)  flom  the  outiandiah  atatea  to  Congteaa>  iulir' 
gloat  todBpflUfePoo  {  ^t  ^3am,  aaid  he,  (hitlbag  tte  ahltra 
till  he  tnade  them  dkuMe  right  up  an  eend  &  hia  poahai) 

^timat,  add  he,  lh|e.  the  pocket  wtell  ftrat,  make  <hai 
iikp^Bdeni,  arid  then  the  apirit  will  be  like  n  tboraa  tuiiiei 
out  to  graaa  in  Um  amring,  Ibr  the  firat  tunei  hoVall  hanl 
and  tail,  a  anortin  aiid  kiikin  and  indn  and  oarryiiig  !«p' 
liie  mad^t  aoon  gela  independent  too.  Whaa  Wm  iii  thr 
aMI  il  may  hold  up,  and  pawv  and  wfaine^,nnd  M  «n 
4fy  aa  any  thfog,  but  the  iMther  atrap  heepe  il  m  4Im 
Bittigelr,  and  yie  lead  wekht  lo  the  eendof  it  wAm  k  ImM 
doNrn  Ub  hted  at  hat./  No,  aaya  he,  hereVrindepaMHiae« 
and  he  gate  die  eaglea  auch  a  drire  with  hia  fiatr  lia  hull 
hb  pdol^N,  and  aent  a  whole  qift  of  them  a  apinnia  down 
hia  log  to  the  ground.  Says  I»  Father,  (and  I  awear  I 
oOuM  hardly  keq>  firom  Iturfin,  he  kx>ked  ao  peakily  wmu4) 
faAieri  aaya  I,  I  gUeaa  there*a  a  moral  in  that  are  too--«f 
Prirftaei  nory  «Nijr  are  aoae  o*  the  betL    Wellr  w^r •oyi^<' 


m 


^iMiiiMfrrp  new  hipd  Id  Morfoay.      ^» 


Mm  nuivri  oniiiQZf  or  THE  MmsB. 


'<^1. 


JNiTlMS!  •MOp«|  W  you^  swl  ^  in  Ito  iMat  of 

btfln^ir  yon  l^<*i|W»?j4*».  rh^ih^in^,  1^  q^jww  o^^ 
il»i4  I.fV^A^    ^  l^ang^.lut  1^  frqi.  ms  ji«^  fcvQiii; 

a«;4iMifrti  iM  If^  il>OCt  W  00  ]fcm  dp  t  M  K^eept  Qkpur,  o^ 
in|i«wWi>4|K  I*U>ti?l»;^<mr  hones  «  Upk  In  tlie  nou^ 
•••»mM.y)ou!l!e^pm,;i^  a^  a  beiir  puts  op  hie  pavi^to, 
f<^  ««;  tlM  hl9iw of  •  stick  from  hie  n«^  ^eUilh^V 
the  way  I  pass  them  ere  hare  hreeched  Scotchman^  .■hmiiii 
ifjr^Hr  «ei(«t  h^li^  dp^  In  tbeee  h^m  C^nlb)nM 
nmriimt  hiKw  th»  mMs^uilQeii  iml4  tii|iae  thep  uft  mm^fiit 
thay^l    Tkmfi  m  *e»  ep«iM«m  themahoi^  as  ai)  JMl7«i 
mm  dMa  Jus  fbi^^  vhe^i  he'ji  in,  9m^  of  a  he,,  Tk^ 
aig|;ietteik  qmK  Jheir  e^e  teeth  afo^e  they  ever  sot  M  uirf 
thit  mm^tfh  ^  9»pect*    When  t'm  &^ '  ^  Hwhee,<  tlm 
ktinr  wbit  Id  iln^nfith  it^  thi^V  «  ^tf  they  ^ffp^  iht^ 
pMiQhiii44i!ep  it  vB,iuBd  ijte  f<p|  a  ^ling  like  a  feMUV^t 
-t^eMnMsM  tQnIlit  giti,  like,jnm  dei|tim  a„iM  Hig^.^ 
giUk    Ifcnir  aie  proper  skin  flinty,  yon  may  depe^  'p^ 
amAk  j^|pipaM|i»Me  9t  hestt  itrlnnle  ^en  m  .m^  f<»a 
alhoraaatf  ieal  yjMM  ¥argiAy  oprzi,  j^  I  gnesM  wf ^ 
Iqlg iafinding  out  that.thjB  grits  hardly  pay  f§r  the  ri^dh^.  >• 
No,  ft  Yankee  has  as  UtUe  chaooe  unpog  them  as  a  Jevt  . 
uterin^fiep;  Bngtaod  r'tht  sooner  h^tdeaci  9Ht  ^  betirr  ; 


il^^j;  ap  tiiev  4o>,tlMyM  l|i^i«  n|a|t;  opk,  and  A«r«v  "eMqi 

piu|8.  for  thp^  never )ia?«  i|  cent  to  piit.is  it.  iVf  we 
iXyiftHf*  m  jiore  or  in  liquoTi  or^Iae  in^ « iowi  tibey  are  tb« 
IQpmeet  ^VfOfs  I  ^ver  wed,  .|)|4flf  Beel^r,  I  dare  mj 
)rou  ^ye  heein^  teU  of  hib—he^t  a  tuimy  ielle^Mbej  nit  a 


then  idmittd!  within  these  walls  ;*  for,  aaid  he,  the  one  wiU^ 
■f^atU^^a^pia  among  aiy  oottona,  and  t'0therat4Mig  nx' 
npl^^    r^ntJ^ve  no  such  inflaminable  and  dangatma 
piui^  iBL%QajLxim  on  no  account.    Whan  the  BritisliwwiMl 

S'  fi:  i^lVt  to  join  in  tlie  treaty  to  chock  the  wheela  of  tfaf 
ijf^  itindet  I  recollect  Iiearin  old  John  Adams  spiv,  we  hud 
6ujp  lii  huinour  them ;  for,  s^vs  1^,  the/  4Upp^  us  i^' 
tM;^i^;:9ii  j9asi«r  terms*  by  shippm  out  ^  Irish.  ,  Says  hai 
tpy^ii^rk  b^^  and  they  work  chfsper,  an4  they  donl 
Byft^loy^g*  The  blacks,  when  they  are,  past,  work,  haTig 
on  for  ever,  and  a  proper  bill  of  eipenco  they  be}  hut  ho| 
woather  and  new  rum  rub  out  the  poor  rates  fyx  4othav 
ones. 

llie  p^'^8h  are  the  ooys  for  tradin  with )  they  shell  odi 
i}^.  Cash  like  a  sheaf  of  wheat  in  fiosty  weather— 4t  Ijliaf 
liilover  tbo  thrashin  floor ;  but  then  they  are  a  cross  ^^rain^ 
edit  ungainly,  kicken  breed  of  cattle,  as  I  een'a.moet^ve« 
sei^.  Whoever  gave  them  the  name  of  John  Bull,  Icmm 
what  he  was  ab«>ut,  I  tell  you;  for  they  are  all  bnU-naokadi! 
bafl'headed  ^ks,  I  vow;  sulky,  u^y  tempered** vicJkmt 
9ritte,nb  a  mwin  fuid  a  roarin  the  wl^le  time,  ,t^  fllfuy' 
(^fe  unless  well  watdhed.  They  are  as  headMbNiii#«« 
tfliih$,  and  as  conceited  as  peacocks. 
.  11^  aaftopishihent  with  which  I  Imt^  this  tirade  agaiasi 
^^<k|ian^;iion,  absorbed  everr  feelmg  ;of  resentment.  I 
mnoDed  with  'amajEement  at  Uie  per^ct  coooposure  witli 
#hich  he"  uttered  it.  He  treated  it  as  one  of  those  seli- 
dvidenttruths,  that  need  neither  proof  nor  apoloj^,  birt  aa, 
a  thing  well  known  and  admitt^  by  all  mankinJ. 

Thieire's  no  richer  st^bt  that  I  know  of,  said  he*  than  to 


II  Tn  obMKiukin.    -  * 

to  QM  on  Vn  wheti'ln  fiiriit  laaoids  iit  <me  of  oar  nact  tMiA 
m  flNreUi  wiir  «^  %  «t  a  balloOfi,  liis  «kia  is  re%  to  Ininit 
1WHli;;#itti-^  niffAit  ivIiitEmg  be^  of  gm ;  aiul  h0  tiniiioif 
l4ir^ifa^  |i«eflkelit^  Hke  a  beliir  oter  ^  ikii»->a  gi^l" |iir|:r 
ward  l^^k  of  a  feller,  (fqr.they  aint  to  bo  OOiaaM^  to  ibe 
Friiiil^  in  niaiuiera)  a  smirkhi  at  youiaa'muoh  aa  ^  tay, 
«Ipok  here.loiMCt)nai,  here's  an  BiSglishBiaik ;  heuBfa  a  ^ 
tliat'^  got  mood  ai  pvtte  ap  a  Norman  ^i^^iudkl  l6ls  of  tlie 
blunt  of  both  kinds,  a  pockef  foil  of  one,  and  a  inoutlii^ 
6f  tolher :  beant  be  lovely  T  andllien  he  looks  as  fteroe  aa 
a' tiger,  as  ttm^h  as  to  pay,  *8ay  boo  io  a  goote,  it  jott 
ilare.' 

'.  No,  I  bc^fieve  we  may  stump  the  univanse ;'W0  iiD|Hr9?o 
Ota  every  thing,  and  we  have  improved  on  cMir  own  spedei. 
^iM^Kai^arch  one  while,  I  tell  you,  afore  y<^*n  iin4  a  nMUi 
]^t,  teke  him  by  and  large,  is  equal' to  one  of  our  fiiee  and 
enli^itened  citizens.    Qe  s  the  chap  that  has  both  weed, 


linnd,  indi  bottom ;  he*s  clear  erit — ginger  to  the  back 
yOu  may  depend.  Its  generally  allowed  there  aint  the  IwiMt 
of  them  to  be  found^  ainy  where.  9pry  as  a  fox,  simple  as 
an  eel,  and  cute  as  a  weasel.  Though  I  say  i^  thii^ 
slH)uIdn't  say  it,  they  fairly  take  the  shine  off  creation— 
Ih^  are  aqtiUy  equal  to  cash. 

He  looked^  like  a  man  who  felt  that  he  had  expressed 
himself  so  aptly  and  so  well,  that  any  thing  adiUtiofM^ 
#ould  only  weaken  its  e^ect ;  he  therefore  changed  the 
cOnvelvation  immediately,  by  pointing  to  a  tree  at  aoine  Itf- 
tte  distance  from  the  house,  a^d  remarkmg  that  it  was  1^ 
rb<ek  maple  or  sugar  tree.  Its  a  pretty  tree,  said  be,  and.  t 
pro^table  one  too  to  raise.  It  will  bear  tapping  for  msay 
years,  tho*  it  gets  exhausted  at  last. 

This  Province  is  like  that  are  tree:  it  is  tipped  till  it 
begms  to  die  at  the  top,  and  if  they  dont  drive  in  a  s|ulo 
and  stqp  the  everlastin  flow  of  the  sap,  it  will  periMb^all 
^pgether.  All  the  money  that's  made  here,  all  thia  intans^ 
tiiat*«  paid  on  it,  and  a  pretty  considerable  portion  of  xeiA 
tiib,  all  goes  abroad  for  investment,  and  the  rest  is  sent  to 
ui  to^buy  bread.  It*s  drained  like  a  bog,  it  has  opened  and 
eoVered  trenches  all  through  it,  and  then  there's  others  to 
the  foot  of  the  upland  to  cut  <^  the  springs. 

Now  you  may  make  evMi  a  bog  too  diy ;  you  may  talui 


'inu'riiPllff-WiiriiVi'  BTO. 


m 


ikftjfMm  em  to  that  ammt}m^)rmri^  vmiH^ 

cuLnofij^  ooxiaU*  ww  ii||  iib(K»ning-y«ttf  c^iltift  liko  a 
nm^  «pjl  will  Iv^  it  vp  m  fasft  at  yoli/^  uK&e  k. 
t%«t  yerjy  t^ridge  we  heerd  of  at  Winlbor,  is  owned  tck 
JJ^«ewBrii|ifwio4(,  and  will  pey  toll  to  that  (uoiinee,  .1^ 
'  fi^talii^.of  Nova  Scotut  tieat  it  U%e  a  hind  home,  they 
l(ont  luiep  it  is  v^wir ;  tlvsy  neither  paint  it  to  pnsoarf  e  '^ 
hQ^j(d«tinor  fl^  a  leak  to  fcaep  the  i^ame  ftoUk  tot&n'i  Usi 
let  it  gd^to  wra^  sfioner  than  djriv^  a  nail  or  j^  in  a  pa|if 
ofjlJaMk    It  wiU  sarye  our  turn  oat»  they  «*>".  '' 

tliwreV  neitfifBr  spirit,  eoterpriae)  nor  patriotism  h^iiiBi 

bfit  t)ba  Hf Ibole  country  is  as  inactive  as  a  bear  in'  wkiUif, 

it^t  4pie?  npthiu  bat  scrputch  up  in  his  len,  a  thinkia  to 

|hup^  f  WeU,  if  I  ant  |in  unfortunate  <JUvil,  it*8  a  pity ;  I 

nave  a  most  splendid  waVm  coat  as  are  a  gentlenuit  ^ 

< pltf9^  hfra.W'^ods,  let  hipi  be  who  he  will ;  but  I  got  no  iooks 

,4(|i^ia^y  M^  and  h|iye  to  sit  for  everlastin^y  a  snekin  of  nny 

-|fW^4qiJ{eep*^mwarm;  if  it  warn't  for  that,  I  guess  fd 

m^|M[  Kpj^  of  them  chaps  that  have  hoofs  to  their  feet'  aoMi 

AM^  to  tinir  jln^      loQ^  about  them  pretty  shaip^  I  IhkiW. 

uV  dismal,  |U)w  aint  it?*'  If  I  had  the  fraraih  of  the  Goy^. 

jior*s  inessage,  if  I  wouldn't  show  'em  how  to  put  timber  to- 

j|p|th«ar  y«.u  may  depend ;  IM  make  them  scratch,  their  heads 

and  stoi«,  ^Ijum^w. 

Vf  wm^down  to  Matanzas  in  the  Fulton  Steam  Boat  once 
T!?7?i)^  tVwaa,  t|)«  $yrst  of  the  kind  they  ever  seed,  aind  pni- 
pilr  (iqpreii  ti^.'ivefo  to.  see  a  vessel  withcHit  sails  or  dare, 
goia  right  alNighl^  ahead,  nine  knots  an  hour,  in  the  Very 
j^ndV  e^et  a^  a  ipaiM  s^ak  of  smoke  arter  her  as  Ic.-^ 
.M^th«|taU  of  a  opi^t.  I  Mieve  they  thCNuihtit  was  Old 
M}fik  a^7.  V  #  treatin  lumself  to  a  swun.  1 6u  could  sed 
4^iMgfi(CfVs  a  clippin  it  away  fnmi  the  slwre,  fbr  d^r  lif«^, 
aA4>^  "ol^'^  ^  movin  about  as  if  they  thought  that  we 
lifceiO  <i^gcim  tp  t«ike  the  whfHe  country.  Presently  a  tittl#\ 
lialjr'>8tarv(Bi^» 'oca<i^e  cc^oured  looking  Spanish  officer,  an 
drcnM  off  iii  hif  hvery,  as  fine  as  a  fiddle,  <iame  off  with 
l^o  men  in  a  hoAt  to  board  us.  Well,  we  yawed  onee  oir 
twice,  and  motioned  to.  him  to  keep  off  ibr  &ar  he  should 
t  hijrtf  but  he  came  right  on  afore  the  wheel,  and  Iliope 

JPQT  he  shot  if  t^  pad^  didn't  strike  the  bow  of  ^'boat 


r. 


'■0jMauiBtB» 


^& 


<!iirith  tKat  fef^  it  knocked  up  th^  ttaarn  Hke  i  pfiilk-tih, 
,j#beB  «M  of  the  ki^e  playms  on  it  ii  henvier  thul  fetter, 
t^^and  chucked  him  rigM  atop  of  the  wkc^J  hoine^icm  nrivw 
eeeM  a  feUow  in  eucn  a  dumtewneyt  in  your  ^ft.  He  had 
picked  up  a  little  BngUsh  flom  seein  our  feUu  thefiNo 
mUch,  and  when  he  goi  up,  the  firet  thiiig  he  eaH  waa, 
*  JDoijDa  ail  sheuiery,  fsay,  whereas  my  boat  V  and  he  loot- 
ed round  as  if  be  thought  it  had  jumped  on  board  too^ 
Your  boat,  nid  the  Oaptaiii,  why  I  «Kpect  it*8  goiie  io  ti» 
bottom,  and^  your  men  have  gone  down^  to  look  arter  H,  for 
we  never  secrd  or  heerd  tell  of  one  or  t'ot:>9r  of  HuNniuti^ 
the  boat  was  struck.  Yes,  Pd  make  *em  Skare-  like  that  are 
Spanish  officer,  as  if  they  had  seeM  out  of  tiieir  eyes  for 
the  first  time.  Governor  Can^beir  didn't  expect  to  see  sQOh 
|a  country  as  tlua  when  he  came  here,  I  reckon,  I  know  he 
4idn*t. 

:  When  I  was  a  little  boy,  about  knee  high  or  so,  and  lived 
down  Connecticut  river,  moUier  used  to  say^  Stan,  tf^  you 
don*t  give  overacting  so  like  dd  Scratch;  Fll  send  yon  iotf 
to  Nova  Scotia,  as  sure  as  you  are  bom,  I  WiH,  I  voir, 
.lydi,  Loirdt  how  that  are  used  to  fHghten  me;  it  made  aiy 
.hair  strnd  right  r^p  on  eend,  like  a  cat's  back  when  ^'s 
\wrafliy  ;  it  nwde  me  drop  it  as  quick  as  wink-— like  a  tin 
nigiit  cap  put  on  a  dipt  candle  u;oin  to  bed,  it  put  the  Am 
right  out.  Neighbour  Dearborn^  darter  married  a  gonUe- 
man  to  Yarmodth,  that  sqpeeulates  in  the  smue^inr  line ; 
.well  when  she  w^it  on  board  to  sail  down  to  Novawoii, 
all  hur  folks  took  on  as  if  it  was  a  funeral ;  diey  said  s!»» 
was  goin  to  be  buried  alive,  like  the  nuns  in  PoKteiH$rib 
that  get  a  frolickin,  break  out  of  the  pestur,  and  race  oflv 
and  gei  catched  and  brought  back  agin.  Says  the  dd 
Colcmel,  ber  &ther.  Deliverance,  my  deir,i  wonid  sooni^ 
^ler  you  to  your  grave,  for  that  would  be  an  eend  to  your 
troubles,  than  to  see  you  go  off  to  that  dismal  country, 
Uiat*3  nothin  but  an  iceburg  aground ;  and  he  howled  as 
)bud  as  «a  Irishman  that  tries  to  wake  his  wife  when  she  is 
dead.  Awful  accounts  we  have  of  the  country,  that's  a 
foot ;  but  if  the  Province  is  noi  so  bad  as  they  make  it  out, 
the  folks  are  a  thousand  times  worse. 

Yt)u've  seen  a  flock  c^  partridges  of  a  frosty  morttiu  in 
fbo  ML,  a  crowdin  out  of  the  s^ide  to  a  sunny  spot,  and 


iMidd&i  «p  tiieie  in  the  warmth — ^well,  ^  Uue-noMn  ha?e 
HByan  dto»to  do  half  the  time  but  ran  themaelvet.  Whew 
iilolt  is  that  1  Why  iti  the  ikult  of  the  legiidatureT  AtM 
4mft  musonrage  internal  JMproMmcnf ,  not  the  imetHneni  of 
otqriiBl  in  «fte  <»awliry  /  mid  Ae  remit  i§  •jmtjkp,  inaction, 
mm  pemtiy*  Ther  i(pibn4  tliic«e  months  m  Halifax,  and 
what  datib^  dot  Fla^r  gave  me  a  dollar  oooe,  to  go  to 
the  fiiir  at  HaWibrd,  and  when  I  came  back«  says  he,  Sam, 
wiHt  hafa  you  got  to  show  lior  it?  Now  I  ax  what-  Mive 
lii»y  to^show  Ihv  tlwirlhiee  months'  setting T  Thoy  mflMt 
&Uli  it^thiy  ma^  'em-  Velieve  ail  the  use  of  ^  As9enihhr 
ii  «o  bnic  at  Osuiicillor^  iudges,  Baokert^aaa  siieh  eal^ 
to  lBeQ|»  *«ni  fton  eatin  up  tb^  crops,  and  it  acdtty  oosls 
a(MN»  (*>  fted  them  when  they  are  watchin,  than  all  the 
(rthefs  ooiM  «at  if  they  did  break  a  ^Ke,  and  get  mi 
InderVx»ne  folks  say  they  are  the  most  breadiy  of  the 
tiiKHiaittd  oim;ht  togo  to  pound  themselves.  ST  thidur  fsotjm 
aiegnodt^wro  ht  ngry  cattle  couldn't  break  thii^iffh;  aatdl 
HJTjtiisy  ahrt,  tiw}  ought  to  stake  'ctra  up,  and  with  tlwar 
InM  ;  jwt'li^a  mium$o  makefeneee  tmlees  Ae  hmdU euUi" 
9altd.  If  I  see  a  farm  all  gone  to  wraek,  I  say  here's  bad 
hnsbai^rf  4tod  bad  m&na^jement ;  and  if  I  see  a  Province 
like  lliis#  of  gneat  capacity,  and  great  natural  resr>tifoes^ 
poiwi^-strsckea,  i  sa'y,  there's  bad  If«gislatiott. 

No,  said  he,  (with  an  air  of  mojne  seriousness  than  I  had 
yel  cdMenned^)  Aois  much  it  i»  fo  he  re^rtttedttkaty  Uiping 
uddepenomu  affodb  car?  laeUyjeaUeMeti  Aey  wouid  unik 
astae  maniandwiA  om«  mmd  mtdone  heart  mfy  Alcai' 
selMa  aedidkmdf  to  the  internai  imfrovement  amd  Semlm} 
ment  of  Him  heauM^  Prooinee,  Be  wshie  it  utterqf 
mdmomni  eUher  to  the  gmeral  or  heal  Goeemment,  and  the 
ooi§  p»eme  who  didfafpreeiate  it,  are  the  FoaAees. 


i 


iinwlf  l&litr 

wMkea 
had  m 
„    ___  (Struck  it 

Mit^  yiide,^M^|«||f    Fi  ite^io  fit  s  Yi 


xs 


v«  «eiit^W:4^^^  -^^''Tiy^.iiiife  Dtt  itm 

intUry^ok  sof  Mkldl,  andlgiRV  ^tfe«>  M^CmiMeikxA 
dmwl.  Why,  said  he,  quite  sW,  if  I  di^lit  tl^r'  up,  I 
i|Qiild*iit  say  so.  Well>  says  I,  I  J  >  >*t  faioir»  tail  tf*  I  did 
l&k  «. ,  I  guess  I  wouid*nt  tay  so.  WInr  nptt  says  ha*- ' 
^Snnse,  I  expect,  says  I,  any  fool  eoald  see  that  as  well 
M  me ;  and  then  |  stared  at  htm,  as  nrach  as  to  say,  now 
if  you  Bke  that  atte  swap,  I  am  ready  to  trade  with  you 
agii  as  soon  as  pm  Vkb*  WeH,  he  turned  right  round  cm 
S  heel  and  walked  ofl^  a  whistHn  Yankee  Doo^  to  him- 


.' 


fim)imtwlmmmimM.mMjm¥ltttimnmmmit»mmtlttL  JimMimBiitiBBIiai 


'"'fylki 


It' 


,y€^  ^aH/fCjy^lMn^a/e^^^.^j^ 


PhUaddphuLi  Tatlished  iy  Lutdsaj/  dc  Bl^iJciston 


pt./    ■■',:  .» 


lliriltit'iwlM»«far  iMmtfiatriMB  ?  IiNslil  kid  •  kMnw 
|hi«M|Niiii«|l |M  ftf  I  Ni» •  ifMl  imAhOIj  to  Mir 
*^  *^"^|i»y  !•  it  iOMkiil  dtvec  feUflr  tkl-«Ml  ll» 
-    %iiilf  il  WW  aid  Hiotory  hiwulfe    Thi» 

«i^,  JA£7^i«fM  bMdlt  4tt.to!SS$ 

liWib^|a|^  Mitei  i«  dopit  ton  >•  iwr9r,l|0tti»'4lii»ijfe 


9m  TNI  immiifftWfti 

i^llll  iMlf  the  troublfu  St.  him  it  tht  Mhiml  it^ilii  oT  tlM 
Diy  of  Fundy,  it  %vill  lt>  the  Urgetl  wkf  la  AilwriM,  umI 
li  Now  York.  It  Hum  in  '.mniiaiMr  tedr  oMtntty  «•  Mi  m 
Ihmx  Biitaua,'  t  ftm  ohoi>  rivvr,  tad  tniMia  qliMB  ilwM 
M  eute  M  tlM  Y|DikfNJ»«4ts  «  •ptendid  tooMoi  Hi 
Woll,  they  dlntw  lU  the  fModuot  a#  Um  Bmv 
dm«f,  ftnd  wiMka  tho  prodiiee  oom  tlia  MippUM  rXam'ii'k 
will  take  tk*  whole  trade  of  the  Prorinee  f  I  gtiew  ywr 
rtok  iblke  will  find  theyVe  burnt  thdr  ftngerfi  thegpVo'iMrt 
their 'ftwl  in  it,  that's  a  fhct.  Roimm  without  tonanteMM. 
whnvifee  without iMpping,  a  town  without  neople'"*what">a 
gmnd  inveetment !  I  If  you  have  any  \oom  dollart,-4et  %M 
but  on  a  nnortgage  in  Halilhx,  tlat*a  the  eeourily  '  hwf 
olear  of  ^o  country  ibr  your  life — the  people  mav  ffu«« 
hut  the  town  o«n*t.  No,  take  away  Ae  tnom,  and  Voii*re 
^Ko—yottMl  uug  the  dead  mavolr  Mke  M  at  Loalah«rg 
tmA  Shelhume.  Whv  you  hant  got  a  tinoto  thing  w«ftfi 
havin,  but  a  good  harbnufv  ^nd  at  ibr  that  die  eowt  it  Ml 
OB  W  You  hav*Bt  a  pine  log,  a  tpniee  boai^,  or  a  relMi 
thinglt  r  you  neither  raise  whnst,  oatir,  or  liajr,  aariMlV 
oan;  you  hnyt  no  maples  .a  airth,  unhMt  It  bo  fmHA 
iron  onee  ^it  thei  ^ahvMn  In  Br!<k)we!K--you*t«  ibwed  pridib^ 
and  reajped  poverty,  take  cam  of  yoUr  crop,  ibr  lt*t  woitn 
hamiitui---you  have  no  river  ona  no  country,  what  iBtha 
liaiae  of  fiMrcb  have  you  to  trade  on  t 

But,  aaid  he,  (and  ho  ahowed  the  whitot  of  hit  evet  Ifttt 
a  waH-^ed'horte)  but,  said  he,  Mr/' Slick,  how  it  it^ljibn, 
faliibar ever  grew  at  aKi  hatVit  it  got  what  it  alway t  MMJ 
V  no  worse  than  h  was.  1  goeat,  taid  I,  that  pole  illiit 
strong  eiMHigh  to  bea^  you,  neith^;  if  you  trutt  to  that 
yvulTbe  bto  the  brook,  at  ture  at  you  are  born ;  ton  once 
M  the  trade  of  the  #h<de  I'iovitfce,  but  St;  John  hai  ntik 
of  with  that  now^yott*te'  jott'  all  but  your  tradb  ill  bhii^ 
htniet  and  rabbits  with  ^  idggen  'Hk  Hamaioitd  Haiiis; 
Fea^  loH  year  etiMMMft,  y^iSMrliKttt  litftf  a  het«0  wHind 
J^.  Niiweit    f*e|N»e  got  Ht  c#iier  iU^it-^Jhmr  gfrfki 

Wipn,  he  ttered;  sayt  he,  I  believig  yoii*re  light,  but  t 
Mver  thought  of  that  afbre ;  ttll|D3ca  I,  n6bbdy  ever  tusjici 
yon  pr  t}Mi  triok  of  thiJakih,  that  eVer  I  hoerdftell  of ;)  sothe 
of  our  great  man,  said  he^  laid  h^  all  to  yoitir  1btk£^'ti^g 


A  YAMKMI  BAHOLIiSTO.  j||| 

imiMttf  Gkxdi*  «ad  JP^vskit  Bililet,  UmOT  mv  voq  htm 
•ikiiiiolr«lMrfMsifliiornoq9y.  Did  they,  liiMl,  Mil 
I ;  wtlU  I  iMM  il  Iwit*  |iiM  Mid  mtSim  that*!  thu  Mp^Mi 
«r  hbuwMoia,  Jt  it  aoiMthhif  more  ooftly  than  that. 
Wf»M  aORM  &Uu  My  ito  the  Beake*  seye  he.  Better  itilU 
M««  li  perhepe  yoitVe  heem  tell  too*  that  ireaeing  the 
iMttmaliee  efig  htidur  to  drew,  for  there's  Ibt  ebrMit  im 
mueh  eviee  in  thaU  Well  then,  eays  he,  othere  eey  '^ 
^Rttgi^  hee  made  ue  so  poor.  Thit  ipMMi  Mid  I, 
ibieit  at  good  ae  tother  one,  whoever  Ibimd  out  that  lecr 
eittght  to  get  a  patent  for  it,  for  ite  worth  knowin.  Hu;.^ 
the  eduntry  hae  grown  poorar,  has*nt  it,  beoauee  It  hie 
beiight  cheaper  thie  year  than  it  did  the  year  beibrat  Wh9» 
your  fblk*  are  cute  chape,  I  vow  { jhey 'd  fAicale  m  Phihidil. 
pikia  Lawyei,  Ihey  aro  ao  amaain  knowuu  Ah,  eaid  hOf 
and  he  ruWd  hie  hande  and  imiled  like  a  young  dootOTf 
lichen  he  geta  hie  firet  patient;  ah,  eaid  he,  if  the  timber 
iiitiee  are  altered,  down  cornea  St.  John,  bodv  and  l»ieecheet 
H^  bttiU.  oil  a  poor  foundation— i«a,cU  dnow-^hey  are 
ipeeiiiattn  tike  mad<^heyni  ruin  themtelvea.  Saya  I,  If 
you  wait  till  they're  dead,  for  your  fortin,  it  wiU  be  one 
#hile  I  tell  yoii,  afore  you  pocket  the  shiners.  Its  no  jdce 
waitin  for  a  dead  man'a  anoes.  Suppose  an  old  felleir  of 
^ghty  was  to  say  when  that  are  young  feller  dies,  Vm  to 
inherit  his  property,  what  would  you  thhikt  Whr,'  I 
ioess  yoa*d  think  lie  was  4n  cAd  fool,  i^o,  sir,  f^  He 
Eitgm  dtkU  warn  Atir  Hmtur  wjda  wani  U  oil,  aw  iMee 
mtd  mirk  up,  we  hamt  wot  a  ttiek  etfiit  to  VfiitUt,  if  ^ 
British  dont  offer  we  will,  and  St.  John,  Hhe  a  dear  liMo 
w«eping  widow,  will  dry  up  her  tears,  and  take  to  ikidUddl| 
•|j|i»  and  aoeqit  it  rif^t  on.  f 

'■'  fh»^  is^nt  at  this  moment  such  a  locatioa  hairdly  in 
AiiiMriea,  as  St.  John ;  for  beside  all  its  other  lidvantsns* 
il  htti  this  great  one,  its  only  rival,  HalilB^  has  got  a  d&m 
of  opium  that  will  send  it  snoring  out  of  the  world,  UM  a 
fi^r  who  Ms  asleep  on  the  ids  Of  a  wihter'e  nlKht.  ■'  h 
Mi  been  asleep  eo  long,  I  a<itilly  think  it  nevet  will  wake. 
h»  an^easy  death  too,  you  may  rouse  them  up  if  yoii  like, 
but  I  ^ow  I  wont.  I  once  br  lught  a  feller  too  i  that  was 
drowned,  and  one  night  he  got  drunk  and  ouiltod  me,  I 
eeuld'nt  walk  for  a  week}  says  I,  Youre  the  last  chapFU 


^ 

^^\^ 
v^.^^' 


> 


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VI 


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Ta 


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IMAGE  EVALUATION 
TEST  TARGET  (MT'3) 


1.0 


1.1 


IL25  III  1.4 


IJ4 


PholDgra|iiic 

Sciences 
Corporation 


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99  IVHT  MAIN  if  Riff 

WfMTIII,N.¥.  MIM 

(7f*)  173-4163 


iMmau   "Wha^Bm  YtnnmithtfiMrii nih I .'IM\ihkm\. 

,  m  imh».  iSmTtbt  lea,  8a^pB^{«ad  ^fudk  <lill» 
_  ftv  llMr  Ud  fimaMp  to  hoiw ;  whtl»>lliBt  fiflroiji 
idU  §jB^  ofStlM  MegDm  to  Mtf  Aff^roneiOiilfilHpiii 

^''^Ipl  mtm  ymtVi  kot^mMma  ,mu^f»m  war  ai.llMM% 

pypiW  W    Your  toMi  M  lite  a^itMOl  MM^^MiUR^^^^* 
^"^^tli^  tmui  )Ht««  «ftt.  dtsak^«)4  fipUplwi*  ani  kA 
^jbouief  Iba  Utniiaand  ]iai^Bu^!fm^|tt% 

fhere'no  i«medjr  ftr  ^  ?  aaidv  he^,  aM'^lw  iloalM  «#^ 
ft  tJlM^okaa  lisdiiui.  ^  ^^^ 
Sir  tigkl  horn.    W«ll,  aiys^  I»i  wlisii  ^  i«a»  W^  a 
haP<iti||jhl^  to.  loofc  oat.ptattir.  Attf^n^aSum  it  pM 

I  waa  ta  New  York  last,  a  cooain  <^  an^  Hpwhiidi  JI60^« 
«^<ri9n4  i^l^Qliavei aaim I tahaU  b»  y«iiMil|  Bi»ilbat^ 
all  i#dk](#mDB|^tbey  «>e.wid^^  aiai  iaa^yiigi  <hR #taBa>% 
«l^^t|bf^*l  Ml  nMH^y  <«i]rta  and  {moi^  ta  wcii^>4ftil|  M« 
^11^  oabia  tb  oiy  alMMp  tp  tnufe,  whal  on  M«(h  sliilli  I  d» 
iijid  Pill  fHyili t  dfeadfiil  Inch  kienl,  toof  Stdp^,  aayali 
vHw^'ttie  jrtfvatL  u  idl  fi^  off  and  slickad  up,  tliayll 
alt  «oiiia^.ii(4G|t'agfai,  and  a  wliola  rnd  moro  on  'emtooy 
-fbiotVL  iM^  't^<ii9  ila  mu^  aa  ever  you,  did,  you*U  put  9ff  « 
prottiSt  s#id'df  ifoodk  iWKt  year,  yob  imay  depend ;  and  a4; 
iil)^dftl^%e  iMde  DWDey,  band  over  handk    A  raikoad  wil|;' 


dtf< 


^ 


bring  back  your  euttomera,  if  done  right  off;,  boT  wait  ISA 
imkf  iMtf  BMdi  flew  cliMiMit,  imd  mAf  gete  witled  » 
tlMii,  «id  yoa*H  iMi¥«r  miart  it  agia  td  all  etandtr.  Wbea 
a  Mnt  Mtt  tat  *  gaU  9itt  aprmd^.l  gneea  it  urOI  be  looV 
latabpoj^ilie^aMMtt'tMin.      '  -  ^: 

syHaa  Mljr  one  leg,  and  wwMa  tiriNk,  jbi^jiiiiiqt  Mt  «| 
^^^*  <lile».  If  yon  4MKfe  no  liver,  majb  i^  failiM*  aai% 

^  «i||plf  iti  plaee,    Bi|t^  gaye  be,  Uu  Sfek,  peopltf; 

mm  yrSXpLj'm  ^  woipl£  tb^  say  itVa*  nM^I^ 
.p,,.,^  a«  tbe  eaiMl. ;  IKitbey/uufeod,  ^ys  I ;  aend  tb«il 

t#lii||t|iafti,aad  ra  fit  tbti  handle  onto  th^»  14  tntttV    t 
81^  ilii|l  pay,  and  tbe-beet  piroof  is,  ^  foUsi  wi)^,  ti|»  |i^: 
tbwde  or  i&e  stock.    Did  you  ever  bewr  any  on%alia  Jb|lt 
^•nv  fbHn,»«  wlMther.a  do^  of  medioine^  wouldjMT  wkm 
i\Wiii  given  to  save  U61  IF.that  evertas^  long^^oa  ^M#. 
-^^  i^eiifB  tb  I>^ew  ToHt  tbo  nvply  oCtbi|^  fti'^cjiff  ooi^^ 
"  Igber  sMpV:  «Mfon,  aniely  a  railroad  olfttE^-fiiM|( 
tlili  j^  yoQ  the  tvadt  of  the  Bay  of  J^mdy.    4^  «|i^ 
void  HfS  go  fifoia  BaUfa  to  Wmdsor  ffidupko  tea  liik^ 
town*  eaMT  to  Mnd  goods  ft9ni  one  to^tptber,  than  fKim 
GfiffimiMr  C^pbe^s  House  |o  Admixal^  C3ockbi»m*«*   A| 
bi|dge  jipi|i|be»i^  fo^  a  Hfer  maW,  a  Khm,  a  ^anal  niaina 
a>p»  biit  t  mOroad  ia  bridge,  rirer,  tborougbibre,  oanal, 
aH  urone ;  what  a  wbappinlarae  plfioe  that  would  mako, 
w^^ntn  It  wouidbe  Uw  dan£^fthatVa  liiet  NfOb  w^ 
y<!!iiOf  biMlitako  a  pieoe  ofc^&f  •«}  the  |ins»  dail  n^ 
#p»^  tfrery>dQor  w  Halilbx,  in  large  Ic^titre-^  Jti^roail  -, 
-^^  IT  ^y  m*^  luiow  the  ineamn  of  it,^  says  you  it's  a 
*'^'  i^wMrif  Jfoi^  fatp  S^ 

fixyi  •  i:flaibne  handle  on  to  a  I^d^ 


(aild  I  diada  Idm  a  serape  of  say  leg,  aa  tnuch  as  to  say 
"*"  ~    »):!avefy  inan  that  boys  a  Ckiok  shall  hear  m 


■i'  ■  a*... 


♦f  :    .tiif*  Ji!'*;- 


I 


u; 


'U 


'Jt  ■ 


''f  fttnRitii*  liJd  If  (bih'ii  ft  Qfitopy  oMiiitjr^t  Mr* 


ililMMl^lMfeiiiin  M  ditMk  and  no  t^i^  Tjolki 
ftgHlfB'  tMMlh.    TIWT  ftppti^  to  be  di^iiifftit  i&d  '< 
4Md  inre  a  dvll,  «od-natnrad»  bbtpifablef^tib^.  tibi 
tie  viiaetilM^ktiijfe  t>f  atriiovt'  every  (Mit  of  theiirbrt^, 

F^OiiM  ail  ■odii  OBirt^ny  kit^  my«i  8(xytia  $a  iiiW 

tfiii^  «il«iM^aiMl  nbbli  lii^r))oo^i  ^  lar^  plurt  of  It 

liiii,ilii^iif&te  thc^veiyfi^  A 

^flbf  ^t  Bik  Hi  liuild  of  a  a^  ui  otnr  country  tbeV  MtfM ' 
OXHiiiiit^'  %y  ^  lib  meaiayid  no  eidang  food,  afid 
MiKiiMilinilitanMrtlkJu  Tliey  cilfit  Pll^aM|^ 

fifed  «h«l  in  8«*^  ajM«»^  word  h  has  Mad^  ibdia  ofitti^ 
Mhi^tti^  tlem  ilbk  no#0  bnt  I  Ofdl  it  taiteitibn  lioii* 
MMT  I  tiiieii  traveltBd  aU  tbtodiA  tKe  SUttb  (^  H^liii 
>iiff#«ii<l<0r  theM  are^iliapa.  I!»i^  a«  tldii  a^  a  %hf|btt 
pIMt  ffia  aUiilAoUdHke  A  blown  bladder  fitter  icMmrW 
ll#«ii!'  1^  iMiMd^Mt,  IdiidtolhfilflcM  ro^ jAiid  We. 
Mt^f^  WMpm  ai^  laiiip  i!iaf¥B«Sil  dn  a  ah^  a]16w* 
mimtt'mi  He  put  tasih UMAof^ptAt  WmHUta  tooga^ 
«tl  kMi^'iiha^  1^  iiead,  and  n6  be^j  a  ieil  ffixAiitjgm^. 
imtmtt¥iletiim^m  aa  a  biuiAoo  ihtlkiii  <^  iusilm 
«tf>]i^.  '  Ai^tiimT foi^kM  as  if  hd  bad  biito^cKM'cir i 
^pM  M'inii  iiid  dMMi  fltftMi^  It  KbiJle^  b61e^  He  %iil 
a  lawyer.  Tbinka  iTtha  LoKd  a  r^  ^  ^  y^  <iiyiitt,^ 
fott  bai^ry,  half-atarved  lookm  or*  you,  you*II  <sat  fetn 
to  aUlfe  aa  rare  aa  the  Lord  made  Nk^ces.  You  are  juat  thb 
«iap  to  atfain  at  a  gnat  and  awalio^  a  caooel,  tank,  8hatik» 
and  flank,  all  at  a  gulp. 

Well,  when  we  caftne  to  an  inn,  and  a  beef-steak  wuiul 
atm  ua  Ihr  diAnar,  he*d  jny :  Oh,  that  ia  too  good  ftv  itiaw 


ckMWr    W«ll,  Mtkff  I  4mm  iQMir  nrliil 
)dk  ImI  il  luto  cMd  moimIi  ibr  Mtt  fH*! 


lIl^tPOMMilitartB 

tew    WiMB  I  Jjn^ijnbr  illj^  diiiMlP^  I UIM 10  fiC 
HMjMrt  lhii*t.^3l.  ud  Imt  B.Ul*  tM  «4li  plnMd  IT f 
4oaH.    EsfdtiagiiiAndti  tktekil.    Lwd^  1  HhonM  IUi« 
M4|ity«iii  ttmiM^if  HwM  only  Ibf  Ikl  te^l^'tMBg 

jTW  B^P^  .'^Bf.  '^^•WPB^**'^*^  ^B^^r^BB^B  ,  ^^•'^•^^•B      ^^^BB  ^B^    BWr     ^BBB^B^^B^B    VB^^r ''^^B^l^^^^^ 

popMbl*!  ytttti,  Why,  yiNi  look  Ubta  inl!^  thf  *bw 
)hggr#> J^4  dro|lfed^o».tlM  «oiul  Mtor  tbtyM  dHf  ywijBf^ 
MM  Ittd  cat  atksk  and  run  iiMr  it*  ^i 

WoUy  when  IM  CUM,  bo  Mii  tht  MunBtblBf*  k^ftoo 
oltiaa,  givo  me  Mribi  Jrtrtoi^  4o  I  thBl*t  MMb  fkB  Ibit 


#  Bator.  W«U,  wy§  I,  if  that**  tlit  obm  yoM  OBglUt  t»«Bl 
MTltwl^aaya  Jbe,hBfw.dB  yoB  nwit  oUt  IhBl  Wf  p^ 
MJdtpoB  t  Why,  aaya  I,,  if  iMddBf  rn^ldm  hwiiad  of^  mi 
i»B!ltwr»iaoiii  cm  gwaa  aBpordiBB  to  BBlwt  HBBrittiwI 
iBfiiii»/«<"a  «i»  urnlt  ao  yoH  had^totlir  iBi  HMttsidtOBl 

BfW ,™^^^W^^^il^'^^**    ■•^B^*     ^^'  BB^^aBwi' •^•^B^W     B^^^^IB^     ^^•wl^9  ''^^H^^^^WB     ^WB    BB^^^B 

on arriday, and  when  he  had^loBi,  whippadB lig  tf  bhU* 

£!vm,itm  ovBO  aBditook  it  oBtiU^i  ■tyihBltfti^ehaBBed 
i«ftVthBt*a  •U.Mid  'aiiifirf*  aint  g  bad  flrik*  TkB^Oatfie^ 
ifBl  CBOBgh,  gneioii,  kBowa,.bat  Ibaii4|a^  AnI  «« 
fIBBt  vqipainMUg  iMilnion  at^two  doUatBaBd  wrar oialaB 
ffmi%  M>4  l<Bta  of  old  Madaim  to  Biaka  IliOBt'tipM^B  tke 
HoBiaob ;  there  if  aema  aenae  In  BMBtU^iaf  thi  appetite 
aii|«r  th#t  AalBan,  hut  plagy  little  in  ymif  way»  No»  iura 
I^ftiend)  you  mey  ta&  about  Batur  af  yoB  pleaee,I!ve 
ilwdled^  natur  all  my  tiftk  and  I  tow  If  your  natur  eould 
iPff^  oiityitiKQBtd  leU  yott,it  doBlt  of«p  hall  Ukito^ 
ite^pelBrief  that  plan^  If  you  kttowHai.mueh  aboiMftke 
PBr)E|i^,Mi»  mouth.aa  I  do^  youtdkaDPthat  you  haye'eiVM 
niiprfiBa  ea  well  aa  paniveMna  tteetbraad  thai  nalur  meant 
'1^  thf4,  yoii  ehoiHld  eat  meet  anytblBf  that  aiBdoorheepeft 
mw^  BPie,  would  give  aiioket  lo,  t»  piia  into  your  mom 
^iflSm  vpde  a.iaoe  at  New  iTorli  oouiier  when  he  was  near 
^fip4t  to.eeireiitTy  nnd  thBt'e  morn  nor  youll. do,  I  gueee, 
and  he  eats  as  hearey  as  a  turkey  cook,  and  he  never  eon* 
Ined'hiwpielf  to  water  neither,,  when  he  oould  got  any  fMns 
(^viiiei  hwn  Utter,    l^ya  ho,  9ani,  gnuMUkthef  BUei 


yed  to  y  tbtfiwM  in  old  ptdvMrt)  fai  Yorit«»hho^^*ijjiH 

mHJP  BHMS0(wNOC0Mli|  'MM  I  |pMOViF'  yMT  •VjETt  MNHr 

milkltSk  fon  00  loo.  )  If  ovor  fOQ  |R^  l^  tSMMlWitl'p 
«otiyHio4MiwP^  oai'lMli  ftfw  vool  UNtt  'Yl||M''«  ^' 
wiM  lfi«4htlftad  bioo&il^  oad  tf|lp>  iMhf^ 
|Mii«4itilg  tiMViMr  MHiH%  aol  Ami  A^ 
900 tetobom^oateg  tiM  oUAo^l tiB  4<nM  Um\  IMir 
]pow>JMkol  oM< III*  »|ig<iii  Mu  Vooil  INMO  «o  ilMiot 
Mtr^ior  ilirooiil  of  yoiMr  woiilbiM  OMI  Miko  'mmi-tMfidi, 
ifWtiii <lo ourg^ itottundbr IwlehM*  Their#a ndlMii Iwi 
l^[Ood  pMloMo  oovor  tho  riU,  miMt  iM*b  tlie '  hidO'^olilMlL 

rijiioir  tUt  Pronnoe  b  liko  Uiat  •!«<  GtoAiomite  \^iwf%r*9 
haO^WB  loo  good  ibr^ tlw  iUko  HittVtaiHit ;  thof  oitHW  dolFt 
t«iiU>  ilo  value  or  onni  oto  it,  ieeauM  ivoiir  oint  arierlMr 
«lMr  of  ««ir.f>  lAo  yoi»  mv,  viMy^  |uf«  OtakH^'ittl^ 
Xteli^flMMo  Mho  iboB  Hw  tWnoiM,  too,  {f  >o*'  iMtttt 
loAiii)  ood  10  tkoflHui  ouglit  to  bo  ooiflli  for  thbf  Ikifii 
BoUutt  10  flgbt-iobool.  Ao  for  .politics,  liioy  hofo  aoHlki  fo 
domvo  tbo  Mumi  but  thoyiaUc  oboot  it^  0*d  «  |M%by 
nght  of  jmiMMio  tboy  do  toBi  loo.  ^ 

i  iliow  without  tbo  ooumryto  dividMl  into  two  fotitiOi,  oP 
tblsMMMndth  bioodi^tbe  «M  aadtbe  oMO,  tho  uMiiliiriN 
«ifl»  aad  liio  mmdtiHm»  Bat  whovt'o  the  odMinbUfluiOli 
btiod*  lH^heio%^th»Wor<OflOo,  tho<Fei%ign<^^ 
thii  Jkno  iOffioet  wheio^  tbo'  6eeMtery  «f  nie^HUffl 
mkunfu  Ike  EbeiOi  Boftltf  whore**  iho  Amboiladovo  iOH 
DWo«Milwli<thon  owiho  boya  M  wM  off^v^MlaM  ifTilN^ 
ollltoiaojttek  00  if  it  volo  OB  a  reia)  «iira4^ 
O&^Natetlkted  «|»  «11  tho  way  ftom  fhe'lbfodiMillo  eitttr 
0^40  tho*tai»poelt«koehftiH  of  good  MOg  berthi,'  MHit 
oHMlyifmindaadibhaihedtvtior  dver  tiei*,  <MiO  ibl»^o  aUdlkif 
o%«t  thlbh  In  it  0B»lnld9  That*!  a  helMWOi^^htfdill^ 
l4tik  yott  L daiiffc  wdadei  that  laMBi  tto^  bild(»^'tnd 
egl^o^ihodeako^aboio  fcriH-4inildtoi*a  1^^ 
tliio«ikolo(timoyaDdine|tiihe  paiinigeBi  'ibr  e^ 
vi^t  alalo  of  alarm  ibr  6ar  theyM* «»  miMiMof  by 
the  bykr,'  a  niaaiii  agroand,  or  gettitt  ftat  of  oomo  othe# 
emft.^  ■    ^  '•• 

'  UbiaJWriiMo  b  batter  as  it  is,  quie«sr  and  hoMilOirlhi'^ 
thigrJiavo  benhs^onOagb  aad  big  en^h,  th^  sho^  %if^ 


i 


y 


„>» 


ngin,  pwhut  tbeV^d  be  «f  iv«U  with  ibivw.  They  haup* 
ifrtfwliii>lMie»  the  Toiy^yrty  and  Hi  Cippiikfau  jpattjrt 
WMlvOolh  «oii,^eiM  nai  to..eAiwiMi  ^nvite^  mdieel^  wye 
SMI«»A»|.6rf]«««Uia4Ul  (bun  tv  ihdr  mmk^^mm 
•iMm  fewtei  th»l^  their  ftfty  jiil  dewM/fo  >  their  tewil 
■iytchead  flOitelhwi  mod  Ih^d  jykte  the  whiie  town 
tnr  Ift^oliflb  thet  efcjnet,  for  if  a  ma*  cent  geoir  te  he  «i 
llttr4%U|.Mig^bowr» iC  he eute  •  ftwfaiohee ofT  him  wkf 
mf^AhtfiV  ko^  ef  onq  heightht  They  eee  a  NMel 
dii^BenolMt  dieeflhoted  Mople— they  eie  etenietty  eppifcihi 
taw  wteeti  jpeeiiooe  or  the  anoh.  WoU,  eeg^e  tother,  Hktm 
•ii)yn<iwle»itheyfli  niiiieto  the  eeiiiiilfy^tliejrieiwid  theierhole 
mwmitm^  thentelvee^  Whet  wilh  BeiMet  OaaiieiUefii 
MtWrBIAepi,  and  IVMio  Ofltoeaik  and  a  j«rhele tribeoP 
lAagpein*  fW'hungry  ae^hawJM,  and;  jjim  abeat  'm-  mafsifldi 
thei «e«Btfty  aadavouied^  ae  if  theee  waa«  ioeh' ^4$ ^ktwm 
aJfidhkaiiLt,  Thnele  nolhin  left  tor  tmi»  aad^  bvidgeiif 
Wha»ia  eha^teele  oIKto  teavaee^  he^^gel^tta  aatefeiMi 
ape  Mdaer  tother.  I£  he  hanfljatenio  the  ^^owmNhat  ^ 
then  hi^  m  CoiinoiI*naa»  he^e  Ibr  votin  bulge  lahHriM;  hi 
doin  aMis  great  people  at  flaliflui  tell>  him*  MhjtmftoL 
If  lifitieMiitother  aide^  a  taiiia>al  Banker  Jadgee^ietiiTeffc^ 
aiiiuehjealttMuiA  taailin  ihr^halJMf  hnoni^  he  mm\  frt^ 
iiimktiiiB  m rtgm,  8b  thatyif  yo»««rBte^li|teiile^lha 
Wiih  andrJBiiiy  erittem  on  both  ^aideai>yioii*4  bilwiwj^thia 

/<?e<P>  ^i^ithie  anam  iiromiigneiwmee^'  ^tkapMtmmmm 

<A#.jid^r«^.«a4!iMtik  are/aoial  a«#i|railW  ilyj*aif*  miia 
ipaMK^ nixi  rfaajifaiaiu^iaia^ieaa*  lUnr'anyHtiwo  man^  thn^ 
afetlor^  aapa»  theyopUMene^ali  they- hear  of ««ch«tlier^ 
i»n|i^iall=  adeta  «f  onwoftl^  molifBa^  and  miadonatrav 
emrfTj^^et^  bit  them  m»  wan  of*  each  others  and  they^H 
m  out  lo  their  eurpriae,  that  they  havo  not  only  beem 
loohiii  thi^aogh  a  naignifyiog  ^aaa  that  watnt  vory  tnie, 
b^ a isaloiuedone  alao»  that  changed  the  «oihple»Mry  an# 
diatorted  the  ieaturea,  and  each  one  will  think  tother  a  v«ry 


^■ 


iboHwWoniJtOi  tiH  ■MMrttyr  muk*  dmHcmm  •  Mtf ^»«Mr 

JMiir  ftttSkwr^  V«^  IiBWow  Loadi  jw%»kMBr'tM 
«|[ir«iMi.iiiil,  buU'Monidoiint  tliblitiMnAi  mwIi  4M^ 
MMoav  .Thi  popular  Mb  (I  wont  My  fiMaikb^  ftr  wm 
M  m  '^■r  ilMiii*bo«lft  •  mm  who  bM  «  plagpiy  JigMifif 
miekity  i»lm  potrtmiBtM ii  ouito  m  ateiouo  wr  <!§  wftljr 
«iiiiim4hKl*«  only  one  pair  or  yaurn  Miokiago  mAmdmn 
■kilt,  if  Ibr  hiM>  the  popular  nde  are  not  m  weH'  <iafoMMd 
•a  lotfaeit!»  aiMi  they,  bara  ^  the  mitlaeliii  of  bavin  tiMir  t  paa- 
^km.  a  Jiwiied  BheW'  than' their  reaaen»  tfamibra'tkny  IM 
tAmimte^^ikmmff,  m  rather  M  tAit  «#tit^  ani  pit  mIim 
llpivhaA  soMm;  .weUi  toiher  aide  haTo.  >lhe  pnfitfee^' ar 
iMll^analedooatien  la  dim  their/  ^rieion,iandl^i»^ilanned"tb 
imihutalre  a  thingt  from  the  diMof  ambaeb*  ar  opiMei 
tliit their gaidv  are >eta(nMtty deeerying inthe  miit'  mrf 
|iiirfe/|MeM  AaeiJi  wmitmin  trnkUmep  to- Mtunimajfi  -Jim 
te  thensnideei  TAmake  ehort  iw»k!«r  ^en  if  it  waa  Ml. 
.ivln  lh»  Wet  war  with  Britain,  the  Gonatitatian  ftigfalB  wae 
^)ieM  in.4lnfle  «n  the^MNNBetil'  Ireland^  a  looitiniatlep«Mtne 
pmdmafk  ehne^  andt aha  took' odbdandvpilOti'tiMllf-ito 
,«(M  a  dei^  iiy<;twielicai  looUat  ehiip,  •  aa  yoi»  een  mamk 
mum  eeedi^  He  liad  i  Mrt  of  dark  down  kwk  aboot  4toi| 
tfA^  imtimj^mi  the  oornwiaf  ««ae  ey«#  likna  lone  ttM% 
«ein^ta  kibk*  The  «apluil  ^(ueaeed  he  reed  i*  Ine  ^hei^ 
%«eU  new,  if  I  wm  le  Mn  Ihie  here  ¥ankee  figl»  ilmttk 
a^Mdb  and  kilgh  her,  the  Kiaf^.  weHU  Make  a  man  ef  «ie 
iinc«liaai*,^4b.eaya  lieto  the  fint  Mkenanti  leefirwfop^ 
tMPa*v)hai nre  bledi altfae  ti|^ OMd tf  the  ibre  ^m^,  and 
ela^ «  niHuiili  noke^iwiii^  llin  leABnan^lif 'ifa#^iilBk  nh 
^nittk^end  oama  kaok,  atid  Myehe^lv|{ueia^*nADiaek>  Neiw, 
etyiiihe  Ckptaiay  look  bete,  pifeli^h^e'«  rope  ywt  haiA 
need  peti  iw  ijial  (oqfdeinithe  ue»wf>  iltlofniriafeaeei^iiil^ 
WiMtithe^ioan  of  it.!'  tf  this  heap  ftigati^>niaiaed%Mi^iMr 
ina  and>«nli0hted>  ditiaeia,  gM*.  •rnmad^l^  j^^fooHii 
xtde  on  Ihe  elaek  of  that  en  eopO^nghtnip-ldtlMii^^wwkt 
A»neek,k^  Gum.  Wdl» ft ruh'd  Am»mti6mmt^m 
%e,w.i9BKk  aa  epitlin  en  a  alkie  tgikm  timwifi^^ 


<4Mi]h 


^J— lt<m  on-  f UijBtBi  ^ilriM  ^mb  4i|»*iil»  mi  trnmA'  <ABg*  >  ▲ 
.4%ii«Ciltel  •!«  hi^«iu»  *ftlntM  •!  jwbib  ■tirfiki 
AMnt,*  psinlad  under  it,  would  do  tho  bawHit  i*  JtM  «iMi 
w>  tfaae.  If  it  wottld*nt  koep  the  hftwki  out  of  tho  poultiv 
yurdi  it*t  a  pity— it  would  leare  them  out  of  a  yeerVi 
grawth,  thet*i  *  ftot— if  they  laed  it  once,  I  p|ueM  they 
woulduU  have  occmuoh  for  it  agin  in  a  hurry— -it  would  lie 
like  the  Aloe  tree,  aad  that  bean,  tiruit  only  onee  in  a  huft* 
dvedyean* 

If  yott  want  ta  know  how  to  act  any  tnne,  e^re,  never 
fo  to  bo<^  leave  them  to  ^b  and  achool  boye;  but  go 
^mfM^,fmA  cypbeit  it  out  of  nator,  tfaat*e  a  eura  gaid^  it 
W'iwperfdeoei^e  you,  you  mayde^d.  For  ijetenwi 
>*  tdUl^e  AM  t9  awy  ie<a  phMM  eo  eonunon  that  itehmHi 
.ifa  *«atufal  one^  when  peoule  l»v»  no  particular  intewet 
in(«*lhNig.  Welly  when  a  feUev  gete  ao  watm  o»  oMnt 
i«ide  M^neverlo  uee  that  phiaae  at  ali^  waleh  Mm,  ttal%<«lkl 
keep>feuf  eye  on  him,  or  heUl  walk  right  into  yen  albn 
you  know  where  you  he*  II  a  man'rune  to*  ae  and  eaya, 
•iyottv  6noa  iadown,*  thnk  ycn^  eaya  I,  that*k  kind-tf  he 
ewnlM  agip»and  ei^ra,  *  Igoeee  eone  etn^  eattl»  hav»bfek« 
into  your  ehoft  saree  gaideat*  I  thank  him  agidn ;  laye  i, 
Oomer<now,  thie  ie  noghbourly ;  but  when  he  keepe  eta» 
JMAIyleUin  mtf  this  thing  of  one  earvant,  and  thai  thingiof 
another  servant,  hints  that  my  fiiend  a*nt  true,  that  mgr 
,neighboui«<a(e  inclined  to  take  advantage  of  mei  and  that 
etispicieue!  fclks  are.  seen  about  ny  place,  I  say  to  nnrseU» 
tVfhat;  en  airth;  makee  4fais  cdtter  lake  such  a  woaderfii 


inleiiekr  iai.my  adVie  t .  I  don^  Hke  to  hear  such  false  ■< 
Jie'e  artoi^soinedung.aa  eureas  the  worlds  if  he  wamt  Md 
^wfft)  *  mk0f»  Iftal  to.  me.*  I  never  believe  much  what^l 
Mir  said  c^.a^^man^a  mdmi  Jwknd,  o»  eiefanl  snesi|Pil 
.iitoit<to^ibsaKWhat  a  disinterested  aaawhae  to  say  np<i,  «s 
0idiriii$efttitd  smm,./  sof  if  lAe  memh»9  «f  tk§  Mmm 
(^yAtmmklth  mikmi  <f  ratlin  wf^  gkotu  mti  habgoUim 
^fiigkimfMM  mtk,  wni  to  Aom  wAol  swerdbsim  fAcf 
jfts»  ll'€MilMi  aad  #  HDraslui  a«  jiftaatoms  |jba<  onlf  ixiBtiti 
Iftit^Miii'ftraias,  ivoaU  torn  to,  Asorl  and  4oild,  oad  ito^ 


m 


'^l^lmm  ikm.waamm^  af  iiii  '-Am  amM 


* 


I   iT 


It    (1^ 


t 


CHAPTER  Xnc. 

TRB  CXJ6cXKIAXCK  QT7IV»  A  BLUBWUpi 


if       i 


it 


^»t 


Tin  detoendMit  of  Bve  Iwve  jirallted  UNto  tf'lMr 
■aiitpte.  The  cMriotitv  of  the  fkir  iei  hi  aMl  iMWdiilto, 
'•adi  ••  it  ii  oAm  itt  «reole4»  It  fte^iMitly  iMttnlMlii'lh 
i«i«o&  la  tfM^oQUBtry  tMi  ftmhiiae  Mopeiidljr  ii  IN«Md- 
WHM  to  a  invvdiir,  and  bewho  woiiM  wroM'  importikiMQt, 
NmniU  do.ipvll  to  MMMwiiet  at  OQae^  on  hb  anWal^  ■!  % 
^OMiberltnd  ln»«  hb  iuuiie«iMl  hi*  biisiBMt,  the  '^iM^ttif 
Jdi  abbdt,  «mI  the  lengtli  of  hb  vMt.  "  'M 

M<i  Our  keautiiU  hMMi  Rfn.  Pugwath;  a*  the  took  Mr 
•aial' at  the  breaMMt  tibia  this  monUafi  exMMtedtha 
aaaiaali  that  Mig^eeted  theee  lefleetioae.  She  waa  itMlek 
ylUk  «om>r  at  oar  ooaveraatioBi  the  latter  jiart  anAjrof 
Whith  the  Itoard,  andc^  ooutte  iniaap|»lied  and  wiliUMe#- 
itood.' 

^  She!  wa»  run  dowa  by  the  ^resideDt«  laid  I,  aad  haa  been 
Idd  ojp  lor  tome  time*  Qulard^t  people  have  ttripped  htir. 
la  oonttquen^  of  her  inakiag#ater  to  ihtt»  fBtriii^ 
irhottf  aaid  Mn*  Pliganwb^  atthe  aaddentv'dfopbea  the 
lii|i  at  flaro  iwr  hand i  ttriatwd  arhem,>ii-ftff  heavieitV  tahfc 
leH  aM  who  it  wf  Thb  Ladv  Ogk  taid  I.  luidy  Ogk 
iaidahe,  1m^  horrid  1  Tm>^h»  riba  a^re  b6  broken  a<i 
lo  rtwrife  to  be  veplaoed  with  new  onet.  Two  neflr  ri^, 
aaidihoi  wcH  ^aover  heeM  Aie  beat  of  that  fat  all  niy^it 
di^l  >doi^  ^ttorv  hoar  tha»  rotitt  hafe  <tatibi«A%  ^  On 
«i#tdnuig  harbeloarthe  waitt  ihey  Ibond'^BSKattifaiiag  her 
tiUI  lower,  taid^tlit  (all  the  |iri4  of^her  tet  tMiwI^M 
the  kloa  of  tuoh  an  indecent  exhibitieB^)  yon  dbnt-  pretoivl 


AinUttlMyt  Did  ke tiaad  bv Md  m  htr knidM til tUM 
Wti^k  Wm  Admiral,  miidMm  Mid  I,  did  Mt  tMobb  Mi 
hwd  iMiit  itp>  Tlwy  fciMid  htr  MtiMMly  unMwid  tftMi,' 

Mk  MMMiIPOMI  MMk    'WOMI  MtM^  IM  COMlIMM,  nM^ 

AwiVill  il  mMt  have  bMO  tlmn  iiMly  JifMn,  ttel  Ml  M 
Ummi  tbty  tell  mt  thty  «ra  dreadftil  thick  in  the  wmI 
Indiwi  Jm  Cww  ImuI  tlMm  in  hii  iwt,  and  lott  two  of  hif 
toMi  Worm  oalM,  dMr,  dMr  1 1  kit  itill  that  ■liit  w  bad 
M  having  them  graat  ho  ftllowa  atrip  oiie.  I  promiM  yott 
if  tlwn  Gularda  had  uadertakM  to  atrip  me,  Pd  taught  them 
difibient  gMia  mannera ;  Pd  died  (Inrt  before  Pd  rabinHted 
to  it.  I  aLwaya  heerd  tell  the  Bngliah  qaality  ladiM  WiM 
awAil  bold,  but  I  nerer  hMrd  the  lUce  oHhat. 
r^iWMt  CM  alrth  aie  yoo  dritln  at  t  Mid  Mr.  Slick*  I 
Mver  Med  you  w  mMli«ol  in  jwa  kuitudo  aibre,  marni,  I 
vow%»«  Wjo  weaa  talkin  of  repairia  a  veeeel,  not  atrippbt' % 
wmmhi.  wkat  under  tko  aun  oould  have  put  tlurt  1119 
Qioekiiiatoi  youa  head  t  She  looked  moirtilM  and  hmoMotf 
at  the  iMnlt  of  her  own  abMrd  ourloailyi  and  aoeH  4iiillld 
tlM  Tpont.    rthooght  I  ahould  havo  anerled  right  out  im6 

mj  iwwth  Hlra»<he  upper  tend  of  n  tilk  puM,to  keep  Itott 
ywwkaarin)  in  kec  »oe^  to  kMr  tke  critter  let  ker  ckippal , 
«un  thai  aahiM.  She  ie  net  the  Aral  hand  that  haa  caujfhl 
t,k>bater,  by piittin  in  her  Mr  albre  her  turn,  I  gaiMi 
Sh/U  Mind  her  atopa  next  hitch,  I  vedron.  TMawMoof 
laat  bneakiaat  at  Amherat 

.uMeaifo  ftoat  that  imoto  tke  potatoe  iielda,  and  changed 
thai  beautiful  grtM  colour  of  the  oidiw  com  failo  ahadM  of 
ligki;  yaHow  And  dark  brown,  lemmded  me  of  tke  piMenot 
qf  j,a9itunio«-^  the  aeaaon  of  akort  days  and  bid  rodda.  f 
4«tenpteid  to  proceed-  at  oom  4o  Panebon^  and  thimoer  by 
4ia,MMn4Mr  and  KentviUe  fonto  to  Annapolit,  Yarmoof^ 
and  Shelburoe,  and  to  aeiorn  bY  the  chore  road,  throl|j||ll 
Ummoi  andiLunenbuigto  Haufkx.  I  therefore  took  Wve 
(UK)Ug|i,oot  without much  vehielanoe)  of  the  Otockmakel^ 
f4¥m  intentioa  Jiad  bew  to  go  to  Fort  Lawrence.  WeR; 
•lMll^.LvowI  am  eorry  topart  company  along  with  yoo"^ 
a  crwiaidnrabb.  bug  journey  like  onm,  k  like  sitting  up  tettf 
l^tko  caUa>  a  body  knowa  ita  getting  on  plettir  weS 


!   J 


^  lliM  ftlk»cf«pr  iwwU*.  ''Hi 

,  I  got  » nlwBW  in  mr  hta^iMd  lM,tiMI  1  Ikfaik^MI 
•9iPfr  Ml  f*  w  {  I  gol  Mts  dit  to  «#  kmll  lfc«i^  «• 

fppivijroiii  hoTM  op  llwM  MMthM  Mria  fcU,  li»f|l  ^m^M 


«■  •  i&k  1^  wiNit  bi  akk  to  M»  ONI  flf  kit  0Mi  ili« 
ud  ni put  •  m^CUmi  (l o«U  kiaiOkkTait»r<W( 
wko  b  •.!*{»•  Ilk  of  «tuff)  kito  •  Yankeo  wMMj/I 


Iwio,  tad  dmo  you  «U  ioum  tke  ooAst. 
l^kis'WM  too  good  on  oftr  to  he  dMsMatd. 


A  MOI  •! 


ofthem  enoirgn  to  ia^iM  my      . 
Af  loon. « i»«  kid  takon  out  leato  in  tke  ipurM,  ko 

ITfttit 


^  J,  Wt  pkf4^  jprogfBM^iMd  hiadiuai  mm , — 

i^lPip  ftiinal  ui>lt  ko  Mor  ikont  Mt  my  Mdo  o»  An 
liftlBo:  HeV  a«pi||ilqii,.m  moy  deptnd.  I  ktd  Idm'wkiH 
)w  in»  « two-ynff  oW»  fOl  Itgi  oMl  tail,  Ukeo  dvvll^  dMPlki 
HMdto,  mid  M  kim  kvoko  o«  prnme  ky  iklk8t*li  dd 
IHgg«t»  Jakimry  fkM^.  He  kaourt  FitelMk  i^  wti^  mid 
ffUk^MmfJ^W^  fi^tkuigbiit  sprndtit;'  HokeM' mo 
5i^  to  giivp  »  WmirBote  o  foofer  jwndwm  ydNto.  H» 
■liMt  kov«!  it^  «  poor  okmt»  indmd,  mud  I,  o  koMfr 
|(M(M^«lidom«»flprilikl^kkBUtkemtuetimo»  Okt  Mt 
ttlil  tkpt  polievii  at  aUt  aaid  bat;  Lovd^  ifiOld  Otoy  |ad 
k^Kid  liHiiiike'd  •  mm^kfld  kimiako  tkm«io  yMee#>'Mii 
Moko  at  PiigDOBe*a  imi,  into  ten.  kmdbwt  tkoimaiid-  mUMH 
iimiem.  Okl  no, iCI.  dida*t  fix  kit  «iat  ibr  kkn  i»  flm 
^y  it>  \!fffJz^,y^  teUjrou  Jmw  it  mm.    i  iraf  dpt^ 


riay  ift 


^  ^__^at  Jm  Wkittfi*#.  urn.  Tkrao  no*  m  aifciiiaian 
^aio  atlPmn  PifM«i|  TaH  and  Bemmi  FailkAil.  WeN, 
l||Mpa.«M  •  M^^skt  6f(  $Mm  tkira*  ftr^iey  toid  it  iMa 
■;  kilir  li^  and  tkev:.  eome  -to;  vitawm^  tkd  apett^  and- 16  mk 
^idMkfviMw  wQuldi  get<  ^  oasmnaki  v^ 

^  Well»MlMii|dlii4«^ti(tbkiMinfm4kemaBmig4te 
•adkad  jiat  aot:  ofT  lo«  tka  :nrer«  niountad  on  Old  €Im, 
after,  takui  o  f^  of  l^ra't  poat  mmioolarliandtimi  In* 
nuiky,  Md  wap  tfptliii  off  pwt^  rtiakf  lilikni^irko.  dkeuM 
ifM  agin  kut  lim  3ri4kgr.  Ha  it  a  draadtfkl  iigty,'Mo«»< 
^Mjnbd  cnttMh  ao  van  emiKaoioit  evar  aoodi  wtian  ha  la 


TBB 


■TO* 


I  hop*  vMi^bMil  iMHif  Phi  p>pfif  Mnry  i  NP 
y«mi«D\  M  i^k^  Ihw  I  ^  •familii,  1  do 

rfHVvote  aiilnMt  Mid  llHPfir  •  food  4boI  <if  M« 

.1I«M  «r  llM4ikiM  iliM  raiid  ifii  tMNrd  oC  Ml»  «iM  oirtk 

^fiUiW  nHMMMiI'MMlllli^OMMlid  OB  pNttvJMghf  1  liR  ]POIIt 

MdUhmi  my  d—itf  ly  too»  I  feb  ■li«poo«indlilnr; 
«p4»  Ihidu  I  to  mynU;  a^  M,  if  I  gil  •  ebvw  chiMi, 
rUt#hw  jTM.Mdk  At  quikia  M  jrwi  aovor  hod  daoo  yoli 
ItMma^mi  froM  •  ModliB*  I  fow.  Bo,  my»  I,  M*.  Bn^ 
4«g^I  jDotijrou  M  keUorkt  aw  be|  yiov  kiiovlonll 
fighl  a»  moito  iMp  «  .0#«^— I  iMtwr  wm  htoudrt  ap  lo 
Wi0ll^W> <Hidl doaH  lilio it.  HaalodTtlieaotwaid^iaioal, 
l||mr«U'%«irkid  MW  laail  Jiiai  ai;  aad  lay  it  inio  Ima.  fl* 
lia  UioJilhl  Md  of  bm  by.  tho  collar,  aad  gtrot  aw  a  pdl, 
firi^Q^^i  M  if  rd  kMt  aqr  balaaoa  aad  iUlf  riglu  doai^ 


!n«ik  I  jiaapo  vp  oOiaoad,  aad  iaya  I  'go  alwad,  Ckff 
aad  tho  old  Aone  he  tots  off  ahead,  eo  I  knew  I  had  haa 
«W»4«nuiMihilB»  Thea  aaya  I,  I  hope  tou  aat  «tii6ad 
•i^,  IfrwBwdhy,  inlh  thataw  aBgeoteel  All  you  giaa  awk 
Well«<lwfMlwi  a.bloar  ainw,  aad  1  lodged  Hx  noar  layfe 
Ir  youV  fee  doity  te  thie,  I  leU  yov  f .  I  woai  he  Haatad  tUi 
way  hi  ntMita,  rU  go  ri^  off  aad  anaar  lay  lift  aghi  yoa, 
Vm  wtm  •kuA  youfU  warder  aw.  Well,  ha  etfihife  aft  aii 
•^  (thiakia  Jie  had  a  gMidine  eoft  horn  lo  deal  with,)'  and 
hiliiBeiaUwthoulder*  Now,  wye  1,1  wantetendfarala 
ha  hOheiad-lifce  a  doa  aU  da^  loag  thie  Aehkm,  it  teali 
pialty  at  aH,  I  www  FU  glva  yoa  a  dwee  fdr  it.  Off  I  eeH 
aBtor  anr  howa like  laad^  aad  he  aner  aw  (I  did  that  to  get 
clear  of  the  crowd,  eo  that  I  might  have  mir  play  at  himd 
Well,  i  a^oa  tatd  I  iwd  tha  heelt  of  hiw,  and  «aukl  iday 
himaeiJikad.  TheBlela«iEededupalittla»aBdwheB  ha 
caiae  cloee  up  to  nw,  eoaa  Iwaaly  to  fey  hie  hhnd  apon  aw, 
I^aqaattei.nght  whip  dowa^  aU:  Aortv  and  he  pitched  ever 
nw  aear  ebeut  arod  or  eo,  I  gueee^  on  Me  head,  and  fkim* 
ad  np  ihagroaad  with  Ue  noee,  the  matter  of  a  foot  oi  two. 
(f  ho  didiA  polish  up  the  coulter,  and  both  mould  boanfe 
ef  hie  frge,  it*«  a  pity.  Now,  saye  I,  you  had  better  lar 
where  you  be  and  let  aw  go,  (br  1  am  proper  tired ;  i  bkiir 


w 

4MI»  yw>  M  bfntl  wadijMMr  foce^for  I  mb  iMit  k 
mmi  you  bwrl  ymtmAt*  thm  ryhd  lum  pr(f0rlft^4 

PMil  tlMt^fhoiiM  1 10  lit  upMid  arn»  ttirfblapiMuli  Ute 
4MI|  tkM  I  ltt*#  y«  Juttt  lt«  rkhc  left,  rigitt,  jptt^llttw 

#ini»  biiteAtaf  ^Mi  ^  *k^  m<^  •^^^  ^  tlM  leH, 
<i«l  dm  wA  tbt  figiii  iMlld  Agiii.  Thn  w»y  14M  il»  «il 
IM-  OloelliMlMrr  (Md  fm  f  hdwdl  tm  the  manoer  k  whidi  IT 
m»-  doM)  f  kft  •  bMuUAil  way  of  hhting,  and  alwajrs  46ei 
Mm  bMiMM— •  blow  fer  oaeh  «ye,  and  one  f<ir  tte  noiiUlk 
It  foundi  Iflfo  ton  pouadi  ttn  on  a  UapksmitVs  anvil  1 1 
(iMgsd  op  boCb  oyoi  tbt  him,  «iid  put  in  Um  dead  iighta  1ft 
iwo  tii*f f  Mid  dfiW  (bfit  of  hia  teeth,  <}aieker  »  ptac^ 
oidit  tbM  tlM  TffttfO  dootot  oould,  to  aair^  his  sobI  alivei. 
Jlow,  Myi  L  my  /Mond,  whin  yoa  mcovmyom  e>«-aigfat. 
Vamm  you^A  li^  your  rnktaW'*  1  wanaii  bora  in  the  w^ 


to  bo  MMfod  by  an  owl  Tho  next  time  yoti  ieel  in  a  moM 
MflioulMr  ologiuit  food  humoiir,  come  to  me,  and  I11>  play 
you  tbo  Moond  ptrl  of  thtfl  kUsntical  same  tune,  ^afa  a 

.  WftbtbttIwhiiiltidftrOldOlay,and  back  he  corner, 
ui  I  moustod  tfld  oft  jkA  aa  the  erowd  came  upk  Tlie 
wUhi  lookod  stAMefidf  tod  wondeied  a  little  gi%m  ho^ 
ilWM  dono  10  «mMy  fai  ilicitt  metve^  If  I  fid^nt  oiiilt 
iim  in  BO  ttinof  yon  miy  dtpend;  I  went  rii^  slap  into 
Jiim.  Uko  ft  fi»th  of  Ugbtnilli  into  a  gooaebeny  bush.  He 
fmid  bii  Mdt  Nftdy  Mftdo  and  fitted  afore  he  thought  he 
mw  hfttf  iiiMMiKM.  Tblfllta  I,  filend  Bra^y,  f  hopo 
you  Imow  younoif  now,  tbt  I  tow  no  livin  aenl  would; 
you  iwallowod  your  iottp  without  aingin  out  sealdina. 
Mid  yoil*fo  aoftr  ftboui «  pint  and  a  half  nean^  crying  thait 

Y«i,  ftf  I  WM  Mylil»  thif  <  Old  Clay'  is  a  vMi  knowin 
one,  bo^f  If  spry  «§  «  ooH  fot,  clear  grit,  gi^^  fo  the 
Inmuc  bona  i  I  oafi^ 


OK  y< 
ft  thi 


i  bole  ft  thiidiin  sometimea  the  breed 


muKt  bft¥0  oomii  Aom  old  Ktittu<$k,  half  horee  hidf  alMgat^ 
tor,  wilb  ft  own  of  tbo  ftlrtbfluake.  ^ ' 

I  hopo  I  nifty  bi  t«8*totally  ruinated,  if  Fd  Udie  eqjhe 
hundrad  dollftri  (br  Mnu  Oo  ahead,  you  old<dnifeer  buitt 
viUain,  gftld  bo,  ftnd  fbow  the  gentlem^  how  wonderAil 
kandfirm  you  Oftn  tii¥«l«    diva  him  the  real  Conftecftieut 


:p.         -       .   Mi 

adfasK  mpi  '  TlMt^  iti-4luit*8  the  wsitto  catty  9w  tnA- 
dent*Si  mesiase  to  Congivw,  fiom  Washington  16  N«« 
YoiIe)  k  116  taup  that^  the  go  to  cArry  a  g»U  (roia  Ope- 
tott  to- Rhode  blaodt  and  tritie  her  up  to  a  Juetioe  toba 
navfied^  afoie  her  ftiher'a  out  of  bed  of  a  •tinuner'e 
iHofBin.  Aiilt  he  a  beautyf  a  real  dolll  none  of  youf 
Gbaakeriand  orittera,  that  the  more  you  quilt  then*,  tha 
moi«  they  wont  go ;  but  a  btoper  one,  that  will  go  fiea 
gtatk  fiNP  notfain,  all  out  of  his  oiKm'head  volunterHlhr 
Ye«»  a  hone  Bte  *(M  Clay,*  is  worth  the  whole  seed, 
breeds  and  gBneration  of  ^un  Aivherat  beasts  put  together. 
He*s  if  holpse  er^ry  inch  of  him,  stock,  lock,  and  banel,  it 
OUCKof. 


Tana  goes  one  of  them  are  evoAastin  rotthi  polea  in 
(hat  Iwidge;  tfny  are  no  better  than  a  trap  for  a  crit* 
ter*s  leg,  said  tbe  Cldckmaker.  They  remind  me  of  a 
tn^  Jim  Munroe  put  his  txit  in  one  ni^t,  thait  near 
about  Inade  one  Iqg  half  a  yard  l<«ger  moiiti  totfwbr.  £ 
bdieve  I  tdd  yon  of  ham,  wlmt  a  desperate  idle  feUer  ha 
was  lie  came  fiom  Onion  Colmty  in  Ccmnecticut.  Wdtt» 
he  was  cddrtin  Sister  Sall-Hdie  was  a  reU  handsnm  lookw 
iiqf  gatt{  ^ou  scarce  e?er  seed  a  mor^  out  and  but  com* 
piete  critter  than  tXtt  was^^i  fine  figur  head,  and  alieautii 
fill  model  of  a  craft  as  any  in  tl»  state,  a  real  ctiftpiBiV 
and  as  fall  df  fiia  and  fiolic  as  a  kitten.  Well,  he  fiuriy 
tnomed  SaU*s  headf  the  more  we  waxited  her  to  givii  him 
11^  tfie  mom,  she  would*nt,  and  we  got  plaguy  oneU*y 

oest*    He 


about  it,  fbr  Iw  diaraoter  was  none  of  the 
a  universal  farourite  wiUt  the  galbi  and  tho*  he  did*Bt  hi4 
hate  very  pretty  ndlther,  ^rgetdng  to  nmrry  where  hil 
promised,  and  Hraere  he  had'nt  ought  to  have  forgot,  too, 
yet  so  it  was,  he  had  such  an  uncommon  winnin  iray  will| 


Hi 

hkn/lka  oMd  talk  thenr  onsr  in  no  time^-Sill  wmi  ftMf  > 

'  il  Ittrt,  ilrtl^r  Mid  to  him  om  eTeningiriKii  he  etiM 
t  Mdrtin,  Jim.  s^s  he,  ybu'll  never  o6mer'  lb  no  gooi,  if 

2bQ  act  Iflce  old  Scrtitbh  Us  yoa  dd|  proii  ainl  lit  tt^  «Mw 
ito  no  dooent  iiian*v  home,  afidt,  wna  your  abetaoe  iMttld 
hfl^'ten  tiWtes  more  tgieeilble  thin  Y««ir  oomjiniy*  I  toU 
ywi.    f  iiion't  oonseni  to  Sall*e  goitk  to  them  aie  liuilda 
fibtieii  fuidiiuiltin  frcrfics  dong  wiHi  tou  namore,  on  no 
aooount,  for  fou  know  how  l^>Uy  Brown  and  Nanojr 
White  — -^ — -.    Now  don't,  eays  he^  now  dui*t,  Unoln 
Sim;  my  no  more  about  that;  if  you  know'd  all  yoli 
would*nt  say  it  was  my  fiiult)  and  besides,  I  have  Iniiiii 
right  about,  I  am  on  tother  tack  now,  and  the  long  leg, 
too ;  I  am  as  steady  as  a  pump  bolt,  now.    I  intend  to 
settle  myself  and  ialce  a  &rm.    Yes,  yes,  and  you  could 
stodc  it,  too,  by  ^1  accounts,  pretty^  well,  uniesa  Vou  are 
much  misrepotted,  says -fit|)iar|  l^tjit  won't  do.    1  knew 
your  father,  he  was  our  sergeant,  a  proper  clever  and 
brave  man  he  wa^|'tpQ4  he  was  one  of  the  heroes  of  our 
glorious  revolutibn.    1  had  a  ereat  respect  fbr  him,  and  I 
am  sorry,  for  his  sake,  you  wul  act  as  you  do;  b«t  I  tell 
you  <mce  for  all,  you  must  give  up  all  vthbughts  of  Sidl; 
■ow  and  for  evulastin.    Whoi  Sail  heerd  this,  she.begwi 
to  nit  away  filbe  mad  in  a  desperate  hurrjr-Hshe  Ibokad 
ftcdiih  enough,  that'a  a  ftet    First  she  tried  to:  bite  in 
h^  biteth,and  look  as  if  there  was  nothm  pirtitukr  in 
tlUb  ^#ind,  then  she  bhished  all  ovter  like  acariet  fover^ 
bdt  jhia  reoovertd  that  pretty  so6n,  and  ttien  her  eokror 
want  and  came,  and  came  and  went,  till  at  last  Am  grew 
aairiute  as  dialk,  and  down  she  feH  slap  off  heat  aeatod 
the  ikxMr,  in  a  fauitin  fit.    I  see,  says  fiither,  I  «ee  it  no^, 
yiki  etamal  viUaiu,  and  he  made  a  puU  at  ^  old  fashbned 
awiQMithat  always  hun^  over  the  fire  place,  j[we  used  to 
oa^  it  0I4  pinker,  for  his  stories  always  ^begun,  *  triien  I 
waa  al^  Bunker's  hUl,')  and  drawing  it  out  he  niade  a  clip  at 
hink  aa'wickod  as.  if  he  was  stabbing  a  rat  with  a  hay  fink ; 
but  Urn;  he  outs' 6f  the  door  like  a  shot,  and  draws  it  too 
ayle^'bim,  and  father  sends  old  Bunker  right  throuf^  the 
pitod.    Vi\  chop  you  up  aa  fine  as  mince  meat^  3F0U  v^» 
lain,  said  he,  if  ever  I  catch  you  inside  my  d66t  igin 


wfm  «AU»*«  covwmaP' 


Ml 


mM  ii]»t  I  4«U  ycn,*pM?U  mring-  f^t  i*  yif.*  Well, 
be  mde  Mmeelf  ooneidenible  loaioe  after  thit,  lit  aeftr 
ipl  fiiqt^>Mdt  Aa  door  ngiii,  ud  I  thouchi  be  had  nim 
HP  iU  Jiopet of JStUt Mid  sbeof  biro;  when  one  nigiiti • 
hmmI  uirtipul^r  UQcoinaKMi.  dark  night,  as  I  waa  aoomm 
lipvae  wom  neighbour  Dewrbome's,  I  beerd  eome  one  a 
italkin  un^  Spi'i  window.  Well*  I  etq^  and  liiteaa, 
An4^'^  s^ld  bo  QMur  the  ash  MpUn  but  Jim  Munrbe^ 
a  tiryii^  to  penuade  Sail  to- run  off  with  him  to  Rhode 
Uaod  to  ha  married.,  Uwas  ail  settled,  he  shouhi  eome 
wijth  a  bofM  aiid  shajr  to  the  nte,  and  Uien  hdp  Imr  onl 
.<9i|t;tbe,  ^Nriadow,  jist  at  nine  acl«}k,  about  the  time  she 
oofnmonly  went  to  bed.  Thai  he  axes  her  to  readi  down 
^  han4  Ant  him  to  kiss,  (lor  he  was  proper  clever  at 
soft  pawder)  and  she  stretofaMM  U  down  and  he  kisses  it  {  and 
fH^ys  he^  I  befieve  I  muet  haye  the  whole  of  you  out  arter 
il(,  and  gives  her  a  jiik  that  kinder  startled  her{  U  oame 
fo  sudden  like  itnuuJe  her  scream ;  so  off  he  sot  hot  foot, 
1^4  ov^r  the  gate  in  no  time* 

»  Well»  I  cypbered  over  this  all  ni^ht,  a  calculatin  how  I 
phou|d  recijprocate  that  tridc  with  him,  and  at  last  I  hit  on 
asc^ipe.  I  recollected  father's  words  at  partin,  *  smimI 
w%9i  I  teli  wut  fou'U  wring  for  U  $ett*  and  thinks  I, 
friend  Jiln,  FU  niake  that  prophecy  come  true,  yet,  I  guess. 
£io  tl^next  nkht,  jist  at  dark,  I  gives  January  Snpw,  th^ 
old^  igiig^r,  a  nidge  with  my  elbow,  and  as  soon  as  he  looks 
up,  I  wmks  and  walks  out  and  he  arter  me-^HMiys  I,  Janua- 
ry, cant  you  keep  your  tongue  within  your  teeth,  you  old 
'mgger,  you  T  Why  massa,  why  you  ax  that  are  questioiil 
ifiy  jGror  Oxp^ty,  you  tiiUc  <kd  Snow  he  don*t  know  that  are 
vet ;  my  tongue  he  got  plenty  room  now,  debil  a  tooth  left, 
be  can  stretch  out  ever  so  &r ;  like  a  little  leg  in  a  bi^  bed, 
he  lay  qui^t  enough,  massa,  neber  fear.  Well,  thenj  says 
I,  bend  down  that  are  ash  saplin  softly,  you  old  Snowball, 
and  make  no  i¥>i8e.  The  saplin  was  no  sooner  bent  than 
ifffi^f^  to  the  ground  by  a  notched  pea  and  a  noose,  and  a 
slip  knot,  was  suspended,  fropi  the  tree»  jist  over  the  track 
that  led  from  the  pathway  to  the  house.  Why  my  Gor, 
maasa,  .that's  a-;——.  Hold  your  mug,  you  old  nigger, 
says  I,  or  TllMnd  your  tongue  a  sarchin  arter  your  teeth : 
liflBp  qt|i^t,' and  fdlbw  me.  in  presently.  > 


Well; Jli* it  k  ttivdr  niiM  •'d«Mi, tkfte  1,  AiByiliH 

ltM»  liitokcf  twlitolbrainiiiui«^tnilli^«tr«Bili 


<li  off  j  itei^  «  dMr  <siAii«r.  81m  mh  denm  iMir  duadfe;  ina 
I  |lil«livliriiiil  OB  hM  liiinda,«Bd  then  I  beglw 
<«M'«im3r  lever  to  dbw,  M  dmni  tiKelAireMwjr  iko#*t«Ml 
«lMH eo m tohmp  fter  d6#ii  iim.  flimi,  Myt  Ibe,  1  db 
M|«nFe  jFM  won*!  ^indl  tiMt  ere  twlde  off  tU  ii%kt,  d6  |it» 
lilii  Jiiiuiiy,  I  won*!  mnj  bo  )ob|er,  I*in  een  a  moer  detd 
ieliiij^,  Th»<)MMtor^«rmiieopfaguyoaiilB«dy,fi)rtfi 
ic  won*f40Y  hut  herk,  wlMit*»  that,  Ptn  tun  I  hoerd  imw- 
lMngJntlieu(bMpliB,dkiD*t3r6u,64llt  I  heord  tM  gtoii 
Iherok  thatV  att,  itje  ■hoi  thev  oHraYi  oomo  vndOi^  tte  whu^ 
dowo  at  aight  {  but  elw  looked  ooond  eaougAi,  aiid  mVi  Hn^ 
i  vMT  Vm  tiKd  a  holdiii  aunt  of  my  itrmto^hia  wi/,  aqd  I 
m^\4a  h  ao  kmger }  and  down  ahe  thvowM  tfito  n^k  dH 
tka  flaov.  WeN,  aaya  I,  lAop  one  ndnute,  dear,  tiH  1  lend 
«M  JHuMrjr  olif  to  aee  if  any  body  ie  there  {  peitea  aotiii 
o*  adglibattr  Dearbone*«  oattle  havo  broke  into  the  larol 

garden.  January  went  out,  tho*  Sail  8ay*d  U  waa  no  ua^i 
r  the  knew  the  noise  of  the  geese,  they  alwa^a  kept  dose 
la  the  hooae  at  nMit,  finr  fear  of  the  Yarmin.  Presbnthr  in 
mNW  old  Snow,  wrai  his  hair  standin  up  an  eend,  and  the 
whites  of  his  eyes  kmkitt  aa  big  as  die  rims  of  a  soap  pikia  t 
Oh  I  OoicOrmity,  sakl  he,  oh  massa,  oh  Bfiss  Salty,  dh  1 1 
What  on  akih  is  the  natter  widi  you,  said  Saiiy,  how  vOti 
daftiffhten  me,  I  vow  IWiove  you^i^B  mad-*-oh  my  pbr, 
aaid  fe,  oh  I  masaa  Jim  l^mroo  he  hang  hlsnelf  on  thd 
aih  saplin  onder  Misa  Sany*s  wiadow<Zoh  n^Gbrlll 
That  ahot  waa  a  settler,  k  strttek  poor  Sal  right  atwixt  wind 
and  water}  she  nve  a  hiroh  ahead,  and  then  heeled  oto^ 
and  sank  right  down  in  another  fkintin  fit ;  aftd  Juno,  old 
aiiow*s  wife,  carried  her  off  and  laid  het  down  on  the  bed 

'peca^  thing,  die  felt  iwly  anottg^,  I  do  suppose. 

Wen,  Ihner,  1  thou^  heM  a  feinted  too,  he  wa«  so 
alraek  ap  all  of  a  heap,  ho  was  cpm^let^y  bung  ftmgeredf  \ 
doar^  dear,  saki  lie^  I  didn't  think  it  woidd  ooMe  to  pass  stir 
iiooa^  bat  I  knew  il  woold  come  {  I  feretoKl  it,  says  I^thO  . 
lost  tune  I  seed  hihi ;  Jim,  says  I,  mind  irhat  I  aay,  m'flf 
mingjcta  jftL    Qive  tne  the  sword  I  wore  When  f  wii' 
at  Banker*^  hffl,  may  be  there's  life  yet,  Fll  Out  hhn  doanli; . 
The  lantem  was  soon  made  ready,  and  out  we  wetttflo  ihr" 


unmmu/B  oommtmf* 


>  Mil  IhU»  Out  mt  doura,  fkm,  llMl*t  •  fotl  klUmtfmM 
jliMll  <1m  UMd  fai  ngr  My  iMt  iivm htd  liM*  my  l^Md, 
•i<i%>».nianin«irt  o*iny«Qft,  Tin  im  »  mon  Mnoilitrid*- 

>  ^ .  (|wiok,  l^r  liMvea*t  Mik«>  Th»  Lord  ft*  mralfdlf  mM 
i  fcthtr,  llw^poor  Miiner  it  opt  qiiKt  dfid  yfC*  Wliy»  at  Vm 
i  iHn   iMi;if  tlttt  don't  tart  all  Mtur,  wliy  ht  Iim  hmmd 

hknwir  byiMw  lag, lod't  a  twiiHiio  Ukt  •  rabMc  umU* 
down,  that*!  a  fkct.  Why,  if  ho  aint  anaitd,  Ham  |  no  i» 
mNflgr  wiiod  I  docUfo*-!  vow  Ihia  if  oomo  o*  your  doina, 
•  'tSm  I  wnU  it  waa  a  olovor  MhoaM  too^  but  a  littio  gfain  loo 
i  daofBivMia,  T  gueaa*  Don*t  atand  otarin  and  jawin  ihaio  all 
iliglitt  toid  J .  n,  out  ma  down,  I  toll  yotfh-ior  out  my  thioM. 
and  bo  damned  to  you,  ibr  Vm  ohoakitt  with  Uocd.  Roll 
o#or  that  afo  hogahead,  old  Snow,  aatd  f,  till  I  gat  a  top  on  it 
andoki  him  down ;  so  I  aoon  raloaaod  'bim»  hot  ko,oo(ildo*t 
walk  a  'bit.  Hit  ankle  waa  awellod  and  finrained  tiko  VfH* 
naneo,  and  be  iwom  one  leg  waa  near  about  •!«  inehio 
lonaer  than  tother.  Jim  Munroe,  iwya  flitkor«  MtHe  did  I 
think  I  should  ever  see  you  inside  my  door  agin,  but  1  bid 
you  enter  now,  we  owe  you  that  kindiieas,  any  hon^. 

Well,  to  make  a  long  atory  short,  Jim  woa  so  ohap-flillea 
and  so  down  in  the  mouth,  he  begged  for  heaven's  sake 
it  might  bo  kept  a  secret ;  ke  aoid  lia  would  ryn  the  stat^, 
if  ever  it  got  wind,  he  waa  aure  bo  oouldn*t  tktnd  U.  It 
will  be  one  wlulf».I  gvu^,#aM  ik|har»  aibre  you  are  able 
to  run  or  atand  either ;  but  if  you  will  give  mo  your  hand, 
Jim,:aad  promise  to  give  over  your  ovU  ways,  1  will  not 
Only,  keep  it  secret,  but  you  shall  bo  a  waloomo.  lueat,  at 
fjbd  0am  Sliok'a  oyoe  more,  ibr  the  sake  of  your  Mher-^ 
!bie  waa  a  brave  man,  one  of  the  heroea  of  Bunkor'a  hill, 
bo  waa  onr  aaxjeant  andf**<-»Pi  Ho  promiaoa,  aayv  I,  Aubor 
(Jot  tbo  old  man  had  atuok  hia  fight  ibot  out,  the  way  h» 
alwava  atood  when  hr  told  about  the  old  war  |  and  as  Jim 
opul<U'<  atir  a  peg,  it  waa  a  grand  ckanoo,  and  ho  waa 
Ogein  to  ^vb,  him  the  whole  revolution,  from  Oenoral  Gago 
up  to  Independence,)  he  promiiea,  aaya  I,  irthor.  WoH 
It  Waa  all  aettled,  and  tkinga  soon  grow  aa  oalm  aa  a  pan 
of-  milk  two  days  old;  and  aforo  a  year  was  over,  Jim 
waa  aa  bteady  agoin  man  oa  Minister  Joahua  Homw^II, 
and  ivaa  married  to  our  Sail.  Nothin  waa  ever  said  mboiii 
t||e,4wuBp.till  artor  the  woddin.    When  tho  minii<«r  M 


fiiiifciJ  «xIa  «  Mtwiii  Mm  mm  up  lQiilifl*rlntHlM*i 
/fc»iiimllfMrM»n3r'kiy»^8i^  Bin  *  touiih  •li^'^rttt 

tkovMttt  tlMt  tot  JUm  •  oM^kiii  ibr  Dm  nalltrvof  iM 
hwktatmfitof^  wi  Aittorty  iptwdiiU  oiui'Hfim  i«^ 
r^limJifuarab,  mgf  boy,  —jit  h<»  yliVg  got  ih>  miw  iMd 
i^oHv  fMok<  fl  gjiMit  now,  iMiMd  af  ywi#  Iwil  Hw  itplki 

«■«  ba««iyfiwao  yo%  y«u  nMQr  bo  ttw  fivM 


mbUso^ 

-/Wo  4mA  a  iMot  opodal  tiin^of  it,  ybu  iaoy  d<^Mi<,-ntt 


omept  tho  «iiiMler }  iitlior  got  him  Into  a  ooniMPi  — Agrtio 
Uin  ohtptor  m4  tono  for  tSo  wholo  war.  Efmst&mmUi 
tkea  at  I  oono  noar  them,  il  ktand  Bmikor**  Hil(  Bnodjr^ 
«Hae,  GliolODi  Qaieo»  and  ao  ob»  ft  was  biMui^  iOmk 
iw  partodiaodHto  kMthalvMBfrWaa|XMl^nittiilar;'  f^^ 
folkMiiod  hitt.  ekati  dowtt  to  the  Mte»  and  oayo  haiHiaiililr, 
«a  M'ot  timo  thb  hiloii,  or  Fd  a  told  yni  aU  About  Hm 
.iBwifrjwHW  of  Nonr  York,  but  Til  tall  you  that  th»  uKt 
time  aittjneot. 


iiji  iiijiijiiijyi^^Ti^ 


CHAPTBR  XXL 
mmm  up  vor  aovEimoit  ;. 

I  wmvWM  too  oBo^  them  yieer  Mttlo  oid-flnhi^—d  tai- 
poto,  Uho  that  are  in  the  cupboard  of  Bfanv  IHigii«di,  M 
the  Oiockmakor,  that  I  don^  think  of  ^jawyer  Cnyi^teu 
ihield  and  his  wife:  When  I  wae  dowki  to  Rhode  itUiSl 
kit,  I  qwit  an  evening  widi  dmn.  After  I  had  been  dwvb 
««HkilOk  the  Mack  houee-hdp  bfou|^t  in  a  litde  horae-mada 
Mfi  candle,  etuck  in  a  tnn^p  aboed  in  two,  to  mail*  it 
iland  ttrai§ht»  and  eat  it  down  on  the  tabla.  Why^inya 
the  Lawyer* to  hie  wiSst  Inereaee,  my-dear,  what  on  ewlli 
la  the  meania  <f  diet?  What  doee  little  Viney  niea*  by 
hrittgin  in  aueh  ya  light  as  thie,  that  aint  fit  for  even  a  jkig 
hut  of  one  of  out  tn9  and  enli^tened  citixens  away  down 
east  I  whereas  thb  lan^?  My  dear,  says  she,  1  ordaeed 
b^yoiiknew  they  are  a  goin  to  set  you  np  for  Ctoyeiaor 
IMott  yoa>^.juid  I  attol  we  must  economise  or  we  will  VA 


jmNk.mii|tJt|l4jraii*a  lunre  lo^give  up  jour  pfirtk»<  w 
oiiB*t  •nbnl  nothm  nov.  »         «. 

JjffjMfWhm  tm  WM  bBMiflit  ui,  thoro  hm  •  Uitle  ww 
m»  teipQl*  Ibai  bold  •hooi  ih»  mtiier  oT  ImIT  a  pim  <Mr 
IHb)»n4i9U|ii  uhI  wrcMt  about  the  Wgpiw  of  cMMiwi% 
b)yi,,  .When  ho  wed  tbirt,  be  giew  meet  MokMv  fyle^ 
hie  under  lip  curled  down  like  a  peach  leaf  that^  «oi  a 
mmtk>mp,  mfA  ho  etrippad  hie  teeth  and  ehowvd  hie 
fpripd|»rib  liJM  a  buU  dog.  What  Jbelerv  ie  thie^Miid  het 
m  <^>  tMd  ahe,  .itV  the  foolery  of  bmig  Oofexnor  t  V 
yfuoliqo«a  ta  aaoiifica  allyour  oonfoit  to  hong  tiM  Ami 
mm  m  thu  ladder»  dont  blame  me  lor  it^  I  dUTnt  aomii 
ml^yicn^llmA  not  ait  nor  part  in  it.  1»  ipaa  eeohod  up 
9i|«b9l^.fMni^  ConvenUon,  a^  Xo«n  HaU»  Well,  he  sot  |br 
ppmi^me^tboot  aayin  a  word,  lookin  aa  blaek  aa  a  thun« 
der  cloud,  just  ready  to  make  all  natur  crack'acfau  At 
lapt  h«r  ^  up,  and  walka  round  behind  hie  wife's  chair, 
and  tahm  her  fiice  between  bis  two  bands,  he  turns  it  up 
^4  gijir^s  her  «,  buss  that  went  off  like  a  pistoK-it  fidriy 
made  my  mouth  water  to  see  him;  thinks  I,  tiiem  1^  aini 
a  bad  bapk  to  deposit  ooe*s  spare  kisses  in,  neither.  In- 
crease, n^y  doar,  said  be,  I  briiere  you  are  half  right,  Til 
4ac)ine  t6-mor{ow,ril  havenothin  to  do  with  it-^/fsonl  2y 
a  GoHrnor,  cm  nq  aeeoum. 

,  Well,  she  bad  10  haw  and  gee  like,  both  a  little,  afom 
^qwld  get  W  bead.out  of  his  hands;  and  then  she 
pp,  jMu:bar«ah»  pays  afas,  how  you  do  aet^  aint  you 
~*^  \l  ,po  for  pocious  sake  behave  yourself  s  and  she 
mMl{  qvm  like  •  orimson  piany;  if  you  hav'nt 
m  m  bair  too,  thatV  a  firat,  says  she ;  and  she 
pi^J^^curls  to  lights,  and  looked  as  pleased  a*  fun,  thouf^ 
— ^--^  fdi  tho  time,  and  walkedrigbt  out  of  the  room.  Pi«. 
In  CQHKi  two  well  dfestodibouse^Mlpe,  one  with  a 
4  gk  UnhnP*  a  f^  London  toueh,  and  another  with 
%  l)9^tl^y»  1^  a  large  solid  silver  coiee-pot,  and  tea-poC^ 
|n4  A  ciea^jug^  and  sugar  bowl,  of  the  same  genuine 
i9«ti^an(|A4w0atiuielegantaetof  real  gilt  china.    Then 

f««mi}  }fi^^  Crofrnxiapbield,  herself,  lookin  as  proud  as 
. .fba^Wfuld  not  call  the  President  her  oousin;  and  she 
iK^mm  iUwyof  a  Jook,  aamuchaa  to  say,  I  gnesa.wiiew 


Uih  Slick  iR.tOM*  Vlkf^yyfM  off  tipl  arokfasiHtk  kMt^ 
•■I,  you  dMf  yo«»-4*U  «nsw«r  »  bill  at  aic^  ibt  il^  I  iHH, 
you  ma^  d^€iui.  * 

I  bvlitTo,  «id  he  agiii,  ye«  ai*  right,  lactmm,  tay 
duar*  it«  aa  txpeiiBivo  kind  of  honor  that  bain  Qomrmor, 
and. not  gnat  thanks  naithert  gnat  cry  and  Uttlairod, 
all  talk  and  no  ok]e»-4ts  anciigh  I  oueia  for  a  man^to 
goTom  hia  own  family*  aint  it,  dear  f  Sartin,  iaj  lore, 
•aid  abe,v  sartin,  a  nun  ia  never  ao  mueh  in  Ina  own 
proper  vfAiMd  at  there ;  and  beside*  said  ahe^  his  wfll  ii 
supnme  to  hooie,  then  is  no  danger  of  imy  one  noii* 
ooqcuning,  him  then,  and  ahe  gave  me  a  sly  kxdi*  al 
much  as  tO'say,  I  let  him  think  ht  is  master  in  Us  «#n 
house,j|%r  isMm  iadie»  wear  ike  hneekee,  their  peUidetOt 
mifH  *o  be iettf  eme^k  to  hide  them/  but  I  allot,  Ifr; 
Sliok,  you  ean  see  vnth  half  an  eye  that  the  *  gr^  manlls 
the  better  horse  hen/ 

What  a  pity  it  is,  oontinued  the  CSockmaker,  that  H^ 
Mue«noaee  would  not  take  a  leaf  out  of  Marm  Orowning^ 
shield's  book — ^talk  mon  of  their  own  affidn  and  leas  m 
poUtics*  Vm  sick  of  the  everlastin  sound  pf  *  House  of  As-  , 
sei^bly,'  and /Council,' and  great  iUks.*  They  nevw 
•llieyiate  talking  about  than  from  July  to  etamity. 
>y  I  had'.&ottrious  conversation  about  poUtics  once*  air^ 
up  to  the  right  hen.  Do  you  see  that  an  house,  said  he; 
in  ^  field,  that's  got  a  lurch  to  leeward,  like  a  nordi  river 
sloop,  struck  with  a  squall,  off  West  Point,  kip#ded  likel 
UlookM  like  Seth  Pine,  a  tailor  down  to  Hartfoifi^  that  hid 
one  leg  shorter  than  tother,  when  he  stood  at  ease  at  mffitiii 
trainin,,  a  resti^i  on  the  littlest  onte.  Well,  J  had  a  speibial 
firajio  then  the'  Imt  Ume  I  passed  this  way.  I  l<Mt  the  lineh 
pin  out  of  my  forred  axle,  and  I  turned  up  then  to  get  it 
sot  to  rif^ts.  Just  as  I  drove  throi;^  the  pate,  I  saw  the 
eldeet  gall  ajaaalun  for  the  house  for  dear  hfe  she  had  a 
ihort  petticoat  on  that  kmked  like  a  kilt,  and  her  UfA  k|l 
put  me  in  mind  of  Ihe  long  shanks  of  a  bittern  down  in'  k 
rush  swompi  a  drivin  away  like  mad  fiill  chisel  artev  a 
fr«!|.  I  could  not  think  what  on  airth  was  the  matter. 
Thmks  I,  she  wants  to  make  hersdf  look  decent  like  afoi^ 
JUget  in,  she. don't  like  to  pull  her  stoekingi  on  afoife  ihr; 
9Q  I  .puHs  jut>:  the  dd  horsn  and  let  her  have  a  fiur  slaii 


■BTTIMI  'W^ 


m 


W«|l,  wkem  I  MUM  tA  tht  dbof,  I  liMfd  «  ptoppr  teaddiii; 
tlMi«  wns  •  nguktf  flight  into  Qgypt,  jbt  such  a  nou*  m 
Utile  chUdren  make  when  the  mistraef  oomM  auiMealy  intoi 
•ohool^  «U  a  hudfUki  and  eeioudgBi  into  their  •eateaeqtiid^ 
at*  winii.  Dear  me,  eaya  the  oU  womaa,  ae  ehe  put  her 
bead  oat  of  a  hroken  wudow  to  avaH  who  it  waa,  ia  it  you 
Mr.  Sliek  f  I  sDig|^re,  if  vou  did  not  frightea  ua  properly 
we  actiUy  thought  it  was  the  Sheriff;  do  come  in. 

Poor  things  she  looked  half  starred  and  half  aaTage, 
huBgtf  aikd  tenq>er  had  made  proper  strong  lines  in  her 
Hk^  )Ske  water  furrows  in  a  ploughed  fi^;  ahe  kx)ke4 
bony  and  thhi,  like  a  horse  that  has  had  more  work  than 
aata,  and  had  a  wicked  expresnon,  as  though  it  war^nt  o?e^ 
safe  to .  come  too  near  her  heels — an  everlastin  kJcker. 
You  nay  come  out,  Joha^  said  she  to  her  hoshand,  its  anly 
Mr.'&iliefc;  and  out  eame  John  ftom  und6r  the  bed  back- 
iruds,  on  all  fours,  like  an  ox  out  of  the  shoein  Aame,  or 
a  lobster  skttllitt  wrong  eend  foremost— he  locked  as  wi^d 
as  a  hawk.  ^Well,  I  swan  I  thought  I  should  have  s^Ut^  1 
cottU  hardly  keep  from  buntmg  right  out  with  larAer— he 
was«  dl  covered  with  feathers,  hnt,  and  dust,  the  MYins  of 
all  the  sweep^ns  since  the  bouae  was  built,  shoyed  under 
there  for  tidic  ^ss.  He  actilly  sneezed  for  the  natter  of  ten 
ninutes--*he  seemed  half-choked  with  the  flaff  and  stuff, 
thai  came  out  with' him  like  a  cloud.  Lord,  he  looked  like 
a  goose  half-jMcked,  as  if  all  the  quills  were  gone,  but  Uie 
pen  feathers  and  down  wcnre  leA,jist  ready  for  singin  ai^4 
stvrflln.  He  put  me  in  mind  (^a  ack  Adjutant,  a  great  tnll 
fauUEin  bird,  that  comes  fr<Mn  the  East  Indgies,  a  most  us 
higk  as  a  man,  and  most  as  knowin  as  a  blue*nose.  I'd  a^ 
gian  a  hundred  dollars  to  have  had  that  chap  as  a  show  at 
a  foir— tar  and  feathers  wam't  half  as  nateral.  YpuVe 
ieen  a  gall  both  larf  and  cry  at  the  same  time,  hante  you  f 
well,  I  hope  I  may  be  shot  if  I  could*irt  have  dcme  the  san^, 
fift  see  that  critter  come  like  a  turkey  out  of  a  ba^^  at 
Christaias,  to  be  fired  at  for  two  cents  a  shot,  was  as  good 
aa  a  play ;  but  tor  look  round  and  see  the  poverty — the  hatf 
naked  ^Uldran — the  old  pine  8tum|>a  for  chairs— a  smut  ^ 
bih  of  pcJ6r 'Watery  yaller  jpotatOes  m  the  comer-^^ayfighi 
tiuough  the  iidcti  $ad  loof  of  the  house,  looking  litce  the 
tamd  seams  of  a  ship,  all  black  where  the  smoke  got  6u^ 
10 


m 


-^^mmvtamMMam^rtm 


fXtin  If  a  handbill  on  their  holler  cfheeka,  tkimv  inipBM, 
iiid  gkiifli  eyea,  went  right  atraighl  to  the  heart.  1 4(»4eehu« 
I  bdfett  I  should  hate  cried,  oAly  they  did*al  aeem  to  nund 
itfhetoielT^  They  hadbeeaiMed-foit,  likeamaalhat** 
iterriild  to  a  fhtmde^  Qgly  wHh,  hegettaoaeciMioaMdid 
the  teok  of  her  ererlastiii  Atonal  mng,  that  hb  don't  ttiinli 
herufflyotalt  •/ 

Well,  theite  waa  another  ehap  a  aeltin  by  the  flue,  and  he 
ditf  look  as  if  he  saw  it  and  felt  it  too,  he  did*at  eBeni  ove^ 
half  plea^,  you  may  depend.  He  was  ^  District  Scbook* 
Mttter,  and  M  told  me  he  waa  takm  a  spell  «t  beaidia 
ftece,^  it  was  their  turn  to  keep  him.  Thinks  I  to  My^ 
a^lf,  poor  devil,  you've  brought  your  pigs  to  a  ptetty  mariMy 
1^^  a  ftct  1 86e  how  it  is,  the  bhie^ioees  caaH  *mher/ 
The  Oat*s  out  of  the  bag  now— ite  no  weader  they  ddktgt 
ahead,  for  Ihey  doik*t  ktaow  nothin— the  •  Schoohnastorle 
{Jfoaif,'  ^th  the  devil  to  it,  for  he  has  no  ham  at  alL 
why,  Squire,  you  lAi^htjiSt  as  well  expect  a  horse  to  go 
right  oif  m  gear,  belb^  he  ia  halter  hrose,  as  a  blue^toas  to 
giM  dn  in  the  worid,  when  he  has  cot  no  schooHn. 

Btrt  to  Ige^  bock  to  my  story.  WeH,  says  I,  how's  tfanew 
#ith  you,  Mrs.  Spry  t  Dull,  says  shb,  very  dull,  thess^ 
ab  maikets  oow,  things  don't  fetoh  aeihia.  Thinks  iy 
tfoine  iblks  had'nt  (tajght  to  oomplaia  df  taarkets,  for  they^ 
dbii't  raise  notUa  to  sell,  bat  1  did'nt  say  ao)  fo^  ftnm$ 
ifMii  iMoi^A,  leittdttf  s)Ui^7efi%1ls  eAgth^fMm^fmtA 
it.  Potatoes,  says  I,  Will  fetoh  a  good  price  thiil  fUl,  ftor 
111  a  short  crop  m  a  genbittl  way ;  how's  yoorat  Onokd^ 
4ays  she,  as  compme  as  civer  you  seed ;  our  tops  wwsi 
Small  and  did'nt  look  Well ;  bur  we  have  the  handaomest 
b()ttbms,  it  is  generally  tdlowed,  in  all  our  place ;  you  never 
seed  the  beat  .of  them,  they  are  actilly  worth  h»okin  at.  1 
few  I  had  to  take  it  ohaw  of  tobacky  to  keep  iirom  anbvtintf 
iflght  out,  \i  Sounded  so  iqueei*  Kk6.  Thinks  I  to  Mfa^' 
<da  hdj,  it's  a  pity  yon  could*nf  be  changed  eend  ibtf^eeaff 
t|i^,  kg  some  iblks  do  their  stockings :  it  would  imprsv^ 
^  loolfe  of  your  dial  ^lafe  anteifinfy  then,  that'e  •  fiiet*  't 
^'  Kbw,  Iherd  i^  hnms^  titttor,.  squire,  said  ^  GHocHin 
ttulketj  the^  w^  prid^  eten  hi  tkit  Wei.  it  l»  fotmd  ill 
rags  as  well  as  kmgs'  robes,  where  butter  is  spread  wit(i 


nrriMi  vw,  i«pi  oonBiroiu 


m 

^  tlwnib  •■  wll  M  tlM  alvii  kiiUe,fialMr  it  iMliir,  mhr^ 
ever  yon  Jbtd  it. 

^>.  iist  Dim,  ui  aum  on»  or  two  a«igbboun  to  mo  the  mort, 
fi>r  they  look  me  for  a  iheriff  or  a  oooftable,  or  enmelning 
of  lh«t  hreed,  e^d  when  tbey  mw  it  wap  roe  they  aoC  down 
to  hear  the  oewe ;  they  feu  npht  to  at  po|itios  aa  kem  ■• 
eaything*  aa  if  it  had  been  a  dith  of  i^eal  Goaneolicut  Slept 
Jacks,  or  Hominy ;  or  what  is  better  still,  a  glasa  of  rea. 
geniiine  eplendid  mint  julep*  wk»*eiif4^t  it  ^ly  roahea  ny 
moHth  water  to  think  of  it.  I  wonder,  aaya  one,  what  thev 
will  do  for  na  thia  winter  in  the  Vxme  of  Ai^eenibly  | 
Nothin,  aava  the  other,  thev  never  do  nothin  but  what  tbm 
great  peeue  at  Halifax  tell  'em.  Squire  Yeoman  ia  tnn 
QHUh  -he'll  pay  up  the  great  ibUia  this  hitch,  he*U  let  *em 
have  their  own*  We  ji«t  |he  boy  that  can  do  it.  Says  I,  X 
wish  I  could  say  ail  men  were  as  honest  then,  for  I  api 


afi^Mrd  there  are  a  gre^  man^  wont  pav  me  up  thia  win* 
l0t;  I  should  like  to  trade  with  your  uiend,  who  ia  het 


oame  here^  The  only  one  tfept  I  know  that  comes  near 
hand  to  one  ia  Nicholas  Oyerknocker,  that  lives  all  aloo^ 
9hoii8»  about  Margaret's  Bay,  and  Ae  i«  a  sreat  man*  it 
takes  a  yoke  of  oxen,  to  drag  him.  When  I  first  seed  him« 
saya  It  what  on  airth  is  the  fnattei  o*  that  roan,  has  he.thn 
dropeyv  Ibr  he  is  actilly  tlie  greatoet  man  I  ever  seed ;  he 
roust  weigh  the  roatter  (^  five  hundred  weight}  he*d  cut 
thicee  inches  on  the  rib,  he  must  have  a  proper  sight  of  lardf, 
t^  chap  1  No,  sa^s  I,  don't  call  'em  jpeat  men,  for  them 
aiat  a  gnat  man  m  the  oountrr,  that's  a  fact ;  there  aint 
one  that  deserves  the  name ;  folks  will  only  larf  at  you  iT 
you, talk  that  way.  f  There  may  be  some  rich  men,  and  t 
believe  there  be,  and  it's  a  |nty  thfetre  wam't  more  on  'ero^ 
and  aetill  greater  pity  they  have  so  little  spirit  or  enterpxiiMij 
among  'ero»  bm  a  country  is  none-  the  worse  having  rich' 
<n»  in  it,  you  may  depend.  Grreat  folks  I  well,  come,  that'i 
a  good  joke,  thsA  ian^  the  bush.  No,  my  friend,  says  I^ 
the  meat  that's  at  the  top  of  the  barrel,  u  oomeUmet  noi  ap. 
gpfod  iu  tkfU  tkafo  a  little  groin  lover  down:  tke  vppee 


Kl  ike  middk  is  olioay*  good. 

Wdl,  Myi  the  blue>llo•^  pertept  th«y  bMBt  gNitt  imp^ 
ianady  in  that  wiim,  bnf  they  are  ffreal  meQ  oom|Nii«d  to 
Ai  poor  folks;  and  th^  ^  up  all  ^he  mvenuo,  IImmw^ 
AoMlin  left  for  roa<li  atid  bndgWt  they>  want  to  ratal  tho 
teunfrjr,  tbat't  a  ftct  Want  to  niin  your  granny,  taya  f, 
(for  it  railed  my  dander  to  hear  t^  critter  talk  mch  flon* 
aenaet)  I  did  hear  of  one  cliap,  eaya  I,  that  aot  fire  to  hb 
^wn  houie  once,  up  to  Squantum,  but  the  cnnnin  raaoal 
nwured  it  first;  now  how^oan  your  great  folks  nrfn  fha 
Country  without  ruinin  themselves,  unless  they  hate  insured 
thisProrinoet  our  folks  will  hisure  all  creation  for  half 
^jiin,  but  I  never  heerd  tell  of  a  country  being  inaorad 
a^in  rich  men.  Now  if  Vou  ever  go  to  Wall  Street  to  Ml 
mch  a  Dolicy,  leave  the  door  open  behind  yon,  that's  aH  | 
or  they^U  srab  right  hold  of  you,  shave  your  head  and 
blister  it,  dap  a  strait  jacket  on  you,  and  whip  you  rbdit 
Into  a  mad  house,  afore  you  can  say  Jack  Romnson.  No, 
tour -great  men  are  notlun  but  rich  men,  and  I  can  tell  yo<i 
for  your  comfort,  there's  nothin  toi  hinder  von  firom  bdn 
rich,  too,  if  you  will  take  t^  same  means  aslhey  did.  They 
^re  once  all  as  poor  folks  as  voU  he,  or  their  fothers  afoM 
ihen^ ;  for  I  know  their  #hole  nreed,  seed,  and  generation, 
aqd  they  wouldn't  thank  vou  to  tell  them  that  you  kneW 
their  fothers  and  ffrandfothers,  I  teH  you.  If  evertov  want 
the  loan,  of  a  hundred  pounds  from  any  of  them,  keep  dark 
about  that—- see  as  for  ahead  as  yon  olease,  but  it  tante 
always  pleasant  to  have  folks  see  too  rar  back.  PerinM 
they  be  a  little  |Nroud  or  so,  but  that's  nateral ;  all  folks 
diat  grow  up  right  off,  like  a  mushroom  in  one  night,  ami 
fpt  to  think  no  small  beer  of  themselves.  A  cabbage  has 
plaguy  targe  leaves  to  the  bottom,  and  spreads  them  out  aa 
wiob  as  an  old  woman's  jjettiooats,  to  hide  the  sround  it 
flpriiiigftonfi,  and  conceal  its  extra^on,  but  what%  thai  ttt 
Voiit  irthey  get  too  large  salaries,  dock  'em  down  At 
once,  but  don4  keep  talkin  about  it  for  everlastinly.  If  von 
haye  too  many  servants,  pay  Some  <^  'em  Oflf)l  or  when  they 
ouit  your  service  don't  hire  Others  in  their  room,  that's  tM* 
Gat  you  miss  ^oiir  nmrk  when  yOu  keep  firin  away  thi 
whole  blessed  tune  that  way. 


■ITTIM  W 


flOvimiroR. 


IM 


rt«  jmniB  mhm  I  w«#  a  boy,  aud  fl^htr  nwt 

^MinbtotMobiM.    W«U  tfie  ar:,t  flook  of  plovtr  I  Wd 

I  in  dip  attbMi  ud  miMtd  llMm.    Sayt  AitW,  myu  lit, 

Wtet  jt  bbekiwod  jrou  be,  ftun,  that'*  your  own  ikult,  tbay 

IMMPB  loo  ht  oT,  yen  ^ad^kit  ouglit  lo  bava  fiiad  to  iOoo. 

▲t  Bmlnr'o  hHl  im  lei  Iba  BrilMb^  oone  rigbt  oa  tiU  wt 

•tefl  Iba  wbilae  of  fbeir  nvai,  and  than  we  lal  tbem  bava 

k  dap  bang.    Wall,  I  lelt  kinder  grigged  al  mieda  my 

ebot,  and  I  didn*t  over  half  like  to  be  ecoided  too ;  eo  eaye 

I,>^Yee,  &ther ;  but  recdiect  you  bad  a  mud  bank  to  bide 

behind,  where  you  were  proper  safe,  and  you  had  a  reel 

fbr  your  guns  too ;  but  ae  aoon  aa  you  teed  a  little  more 

than  the  whitea  of  their  eyee,  you  run  for  your  dear  lift, 

AUl  eplit,  and  eo  I  don't  see  much  to  bras  on  in  that  arter 

all,  eo  come  now.'    IMI  teach  you  to  talk  that  wav,  you 

puppy  ^ou,  laid  he,  of  that  glorioua  dav ;  and  he  wtched 

me  f  wipe  that  I  oo  believe,  if  I  hadn't  a  dodged,  would 

bliva  ipoiled  my  gnnnin  for  that  hitch  {  eo  I  gave  him  a 

wide  burtb  artar  that  all  day.    Well,  the  nega  time  I  nuM* 

ed,  m,r%  I,  eha  bung  fire  eo  evertutinl^,  il*e  no  wonder, 

and  the  neil  miie,  laya  I,  the  powder  u  no  good,  I  vow. 

Well,  I  miiaed  every  mioI,  and  Ibad  an  excuae  <br  avery 

one  on  *em— 4lie  flint  was  bad,  or  she  flashed  in  the  pan, 

or  the  shot  scaled,  or  something  or  another ;  and  when  ai( 

woujd^nt  do,  I  swore  the  gun  was  no  good  at  all.    Now, 

snya  ftHher,  (and  he  edoed  op  all  the  time,  to  pay  me  oflT 

Atr  Ihat  hit  at  bis  Bunker  hill  story,  which  was  the  only . 

■hot  I  dkl'nt  miss,)  yon  hanU  got  tho  ri^t  reason  arter  alL 

It  was  your  own  fliult,  Sam. 

Now  that's  jiflt  the  oase  with  you;  you  may  blanni 
Banks  and  Council,  and  House  of  AMwonbly,  and  *tbe  greiril 
men,'  till  you  are  tired*  l>at  it's  all  year  own  fault— fov'M 
no  tpirii  and  no  enlarprise,  ffom  vkuU  induttrp  ond 
teonompf  ase  fAeai,  and  jfm*tt  »6on  he  a$  riek  as  tko 
peofU  oi  HoUfaat  yoa  oaO  grtat  JbUto—lhey  (tid'nt  grow 
rich  by  taUnng,  but  by  wogrkm }  instead  of  kxdun  after 
other  folks*  busmess,  they  looked  about  the  Jceenest  artef 
their  own.  You  are  like  the  machinery  of  one  of  our 
boats,  good  enough,  and  strong  enough,  but  of  no  airthly 
use  tin  you  get  tlw  steam  up ;  you  want  to  be  set  in  motion, 
and  then  you'll  go  ahead  like  any  thing,  you  Joay  depend 
10* 


M  Tm  OMMllAIUnb 

flVtf  up  ftlMH  if§  a  IfffW  /eU,  mud  ieeU  W0ieked 
*90f  w%m  mm  trUkfJwHft  a  fence  into  •  good  jiM 

.  Md  mi$»  /k$i  m9r§  ner  ItMNly  ore  okaoed  tmmd  md 
rowm^  hp  g  mtHtm^tf  pthm  eun,  HU  tkeffdrefoMif 
bm  outt  and  and  bn §dn  ntdf  daroed, mtd  mrt  miik^ 
^fl^  9$  ku$»  Lo&k  l9  p§itf  firmo^-^sfour  vmter  pmberi 
—four  JhkiHfti  and  faetmitt*    In  Aortt  «ay«  /,  funim 

*om  mp  Mt  tmd  dardnt  lock  to  $ouf§eheM,  and  doiCt  hok 
toomertf 


CHAPTER  XXII. 
A  CVM  foil  eOACEtr.  . 

Itw  ft  moit  eufiouf  ynaeeoustable  thing,  but  it's  a  ftct, 
said  the  Ctoekinalieff  the  blue^fldses  are  so  conceited,  they 
think  thov  know  e¥«rytbiflg|  and  yet  there  aini  a  livin 
soul  In  NbvA  g«etki  kaowt  nm  own  business  real  complete, 
fanner  or  AfbermMif  towytf  or  doctor,  or  any  other  folk. 
A  ikrroer  s»id  to  me  eHi  day«  up  to  Pugnose's  inn,'  at 
River  PhiUp,  Mr*  iliek*  fays  h»t  I  allot  this  aint  *  a  bread 
country f*  I  Intend  td  fell  m  th«  hotise  I  improve,  and  go 
to  the  (Eftntei*  If  it  ftifit  A  br@ttd  country,  said  I,  I  never 
see'd  ono  thai  wm*  Th«fi  ii  mora  br^sd  used  here,  made 
of  best  nuperAne  fimrt  and  No*  1.  Oenessee,  than  in  any 
other  pines  of  (bs  fame  population  in  the  univarse.  You 
might  at  well  lay  it  aint  a  olock  country,  when,  to  my 
sartin  know)«dfi»  thofS  &r§  tnofd  clocks  than  bibles  in  it; 
I  guess  you  eji^eet  to  raiiO  your  bread  ready  made,  donH 
you  ?  Well  tmm*§  only  ono  olais  of  our  free  and  enlight- 
ened citizens  that  can  do  that,  and  that^s  them  that  are  bom 
-  with  silver  spoona  in  tboif  mouths.  It's  a  pity  you  wasn't 
availed  of  tbw  trtttb,  aibfe  you  up  killoch  and  off— take  my 
advice  and  Hde  wbefo  you  be. 

'  Well,  the  fifbeffflon  afO  jiit  m  bad.  The  nexf  time  you 
go  into  the  fiib'mafket  at  HalilkX)  stump  some  of  the  old 
hands ;  says  yoU;  *  how  many  flus  has  a  cod,  at  a  word,* 
and  rU  Hdiiiifiate  the  bit  if  you  lose  it*    When  Pve  ' 


▲  oima  VQA  ooif  CUT. 


-Ml 


td99%ilkote  hSbn  now,  m  veadin  of  my  elocks*  and  they  to* 
gan  to  raise  my  dander,  by  belittling  the  Yankee^v '  alwayi 
brpiiglit  them  up  by  ft  round  tufn  by  that  raquirenient« 
*  how  many  fins  has  a  cod,  at  a  word.*  Well,  they  never 
cquld  answer  it ;  and  then,  says  I,  when  you  lani  your  own 
business,  I  guess  it  will  be  time  enough  to  teach  other  folk* 
tbeirn* 

,  How  diflerent  it  is  with  our  men  folk,  if  they  canH  get 
through  a  question,  how  beautifully  they  cpn  go  round,  it^ 
can't  they  1  Nothin  never  stops  them :  I  had  two  brothers, 
Josiah  and  Eldad,  one  was  a  lawyer,  and  the  other  a  doctor. 
They  were  a  talkin  about  their  examinations  one  night,  at 
a  buskin  frolic,  up  to  Governor  Ball's  big  stone  bum  at 
Siickville.  Says  Josy,  When  I  was  exaimned,  the  Judge 
axed  me  all  .about  real  estate ;  and,  says  he,  Josiah,  says 
he,  what's  a  fee  ?  Why,  says  I,  Judge,  it  depends  on  the 
natur  of  the  case.  In  a  common  one,  says  I,  I  call  six 
dcjlars  a  pretty  fair  one ;  but  lawyer  Webster  has  got  afore 
now,  Tve  heerd  tell,  1,000  dollars,  tmd  that  /  do  call  a  fee. 
Well,  the  Judge  be  larfed  ready  to  spUt  his  sides ;  (thinks 
I,,  old  chap,  you'll  bust  like  a  steam  byler,  if  you  han't  got 
a  safety  valve  somewhere  or  another,)  and  says  he,  I  vow 
that's  superfine ;  I'll  indorse  your  certificate  fcnr  you,  youi^ 
man ;  tbere's  no  fear  of  you,  you'll  pass  tiie  inspectioQ 
hnnd  any  how.  ^^i" 

...  Well,  says  Eldad,  I  hope  I  may  be  skinned  if  the  same 
thing  didn't  een  amost  happen  tome  at  my  examination. 
They  axed  me  a  nation  sight  of  questions,  some  on  'em  1 
could  answer,  and  spme  on  'em  no  soul  could,  right  ofi"  the 
reel  at  a  word,  without  a  little  cypherih;  at  last  they  axed 
me^  *  How  would  you  calculate  to  put  a  patient  into  a  sweat 
when  common  modes  wouldn't  work  no  how  1  Why,  says 
I,  I'd  do  as  Dr.  Comfort  Payne  sarved  father.  And  how 
was  that,  said  they.  Why,  says  I,  he  put  him  into  such  a 
sweat  as  I  never  seed  in  him  afore,  in  ^all  my  born  days, 
since  I  Was  raised,  by  sending  him  in  his  bill,  and  if  that 
didn't  sweat  him  its  a  pity ;  it  was  an  active  dose  you  may 
depend.  I  guess  that  are  chap  has  cut  his  eye  teeth,  sa^ 
the  President,  let  him  pass  as  approbated. 
^  They  both  knowed  well  enough,  they  only  made  as  if 
(hey  didn't,  to  poke  a  little  fun  at  them,  for  the  Slick  family 


iKelre  ioouiiled  in  agmetal  way  to  be  pretty  oollmiieniUe 
l«ttte. 

iif.  They  veckoo  themsehree  hefe,  a  chi^k  above  tis  Taakces, 

ibut  I  giMM  tbev  have  a  wrinkle  or  two  to  grow  afore  they 

'Progrese  ahead  on  ue  yet.    If  they  han't  got  a  fiiil  cargo 

of  coDo^  hemt  thea  I  never  Bee*d  a  load,  that's  sU.   Tmy 

have  the  hdd  chock  ftiU,  deck  piled  up  to  the  puiiu>  handOeSi 

;and  'ecuf^pwi  under  water.    Tney  lamt  that  of  the  British, 

^who  are  actilly  so  full  oTit,  they  remind  me  of  Ccmimodore 

^Trip.    When  he  was  about  half  shaved  he  thought  every 

■^body  (hrunk  but  himself.    I  never  liked  the  last  war,  I 

itiiought  it  unnateral,  and  that  we  hadn't  ought  to  have 

;takai  hold  <^  it  at  dl,  and  so  most  of  our  New  j^^md  folks 

thought;  and  I  wasn't  sorry  to  hrar  Gineral  S^rborae 

twas  beat,  seein  we  had  no  call  to  go  into  Canada*'    But 

when  the  Ouerriere  was  captivated  by  our  old  Ircn»ides, 

-the  Gbnstitution,  I  did  feel  Ufled  up  amost  as  high  as  a  stalk 

of  Varginy  omu  among  Connecticut  middiins ;  I  grew  two 

. inches  taller,!  vow,  the  night  I  heerd  that  news.    Breg, 

gM^s  I,  is  a  good  dog,  but  fold  fast  is  better.    The  Britiui 

navals  had  been  braggin  and  a  hectorin  so  Iqng,  that  when 

Ithey  Iraided  in  our  cities,  they  swa^ered  e'en  amost  as 

^nele  Peleg  (big  Peleg  as  he  was  called,)  and  when  he 

tiwalked  up  the  centre  of  one  of  our  narrow  Boston  streets, 

he  used  to  swing  his  arms  on  each  sjide  of  him,  so  that  fdks 

jiad  to  clear  out  of  b<^  foot  paths;  he's  cut,  afore  now, 

Ithe  fiiuers  of  both  hands  «igin  the  shq>  windows  on  each 

hide  oftbe  street.    Many  Che  poor  feller's  crupper  bone  he's 

mmaakted,  with  his  great  thick  boots,  a  throwin  out  his  kei. 

lafbre  him  e'en  amort  out  of  sight,  when  he  was  in  full  rig 

a  swigging  away  at  the  top  of  his  gait.    Well,  they  cut  as 

many  shines  as  Uncle  P^eg.^  One  frigate,  they  guessed, 

would  captivate;  sink,  or  buni  our  whole  navy.    Says  a 

«uivaA,  one  day,  to  the  skipper  of  a  fishing  boat  that  he  took, 

tsays  he,  Is  it  true,  Commodore  Decatur's  sword  is  made  Of 

an  old  iron  hoop  ?    Well,  says  the  skipper,  I'm  not  quite 

certified  as  to  Uiat,  seeing  as  I  never  sot  eyes  on  it ;  but  I 

IKuess  if  hegeto  a  chance  he'll  show  you  the  temper  of  it 

■9me  of  these  days,  any  how. 

I  mind  once  a  British  man-d'-war  took  one  of  our  Boston 
Tesaels,  and  ordered  all  nands<m  board,  and  sent  a  party  to 


A  CUM  worn  OOirOElT. 


117 


^kiittle  her;  w«!i  t&sy  rkattM-  the  fowls  and  (he  old  par- 
ticular <genuiiie  rum,  but  they  obliviated  their  arrand  and 
tk^  her.  Well,  next  day  another  frigate  (for  they  were  as 
tUck  aa  toads  arter  a  rain)  comes  near  iier  and*  fires  a  shot 
•fi>r  herto  brin^'  to.  No  answer  was  made,  there  ban  no 
livin  soul  OB  bMid,  and  another  shot  fired, -still  no  answer. 
Why,  what  on  airth  is  the  meamn  of  this,  said  the  Captain, 
,why  dcni*t  they  haul  down  that  d^mn  goose  and  gridiron 
^that's  what  he.  called  our  eagle  and  stars  nn  the  flag.) 
Why,  sayi  the  first  leftenant,  I  cuess  thev  aro^all  drad 
metkf  that  diot  firfght^ned ,  them  to  death.  They  are  afeard 
to  ihow  their  noses,  says  another,  lest  they  should  hb 
shaved  off  by  our  shots.  They  am  all  down  below  a  ^  eoi- 
mkUin^  their  loss,  I  guess,  says  a  third.  FU  take  my  dayy, 
iays  the  Captain,  its  some  Yankee  trick,  a  torpedo  in  hier 
bottom,  or  some  such  trap— -we'll  let  her  be,  and  sure 
f^xNigh,  n^ct  day,  back  she  came  to  shore  herself.  I'll  give 
|y»M  m  quarter  m  aa  hour,  says  the  Captain  of  the  Guei^ 
liere  to  his,  nmi,  to  take  that-  are  Yankee  frigatoj  the  Coow 
(rtftntion.  I  guess  he  found  his  nnstake  wlwre  he  <fi<hi't 
expect  it,  withcwt  any  great  sarch  for  it  either.  Yes,'i[to 
eventuate  my  story)  it  did  me  good,  Ifelt  dreadful  nice,  I 
promise  you.  It  was  as  lovely  as  bitters  of  a  cold  momin. 
Our  tfA)at  beat  'em  arter  that  so  often,  they  got  ii  little  grain 
too  much  conceit  also.  Thev  got  their  heels  too  hi^  for 
their  bools,  and  beoan  to  walk  Uke  uncle  Peleg  too,  so  that 
when  the  Chesapeuce  got  whipped  I  wamt  sorry.  We  could 
spare  Uiat  one,  and  it  made  our  navals  lode  round,  like  a 
foller  who  gets  a  hoist,  to  see  who's  a  htrfin  at  him.  It 
made  'em  brush  the  dust  off,  and  walk  <m  rather  she^iish. 
It  cut  their  combs,  that's  a  feet.  The  war  did  us  a  plaguy 
sight  of  good  in  more  ways  than  one,  and  it  did  the  British 
some  good,  too.  It  taught  'em  not  to  carry  their  chins  too 
high,  for  foar  Uiey  shouldn't  see.  the  gutters<7-a  mistake 
that's  spoiled  many  a  bran  new  coat  and  trowsers  afora 
now. 

"  WelU  these  blue-noses  have  caught  this  disease,  a^  folks 
do  the  •  Scotch  fiddle,  by  shakin  hands  -along  with  the 
British.  Conceit  has  become  here,  as  Doctw  Rush  says, 
(you  have  heeid  tell  of  him,  he's  the  first  man  of  the  age, 
and  its  generally  allowed  our  doctors  take  the  ^line  off  of 


^ 


41B 

•mU  the  world)  acdiniated,  it  is  citizeniied  asnong  *eni,>«id 
!the  doly  cur*  m  a  nal  good  guiltin.  I  net  a  AnfL^^mopQcl- 
dieeter  Gug  this  sumnwr  agom  to  the  nioes  to  Halkhx,  aai 
rhe  knowed  as  much  about  nM^,I  do  loppoee,  ae  a  CHiiGlanr 
'Ingiaii  does  of  a  railroad.  Well,  be  was  it  praidii  of  hia 
■hovee,  and  runnin  on  like  Statiee.  He  wae  hegety  he  ial^ 
Jby  R(mceevaU(Be,mti3ch  waa  better  than  any  lK>ne  tiMrt  ever 
dvas  (eea^  becMiae  be  was  once  in  a  duke'a  stable  in  Ett|f» 
^uad.  It  was  only  e  man  th^t  had  bk>od  tike  a  lordi  aaii 
l^tbat  knew  what  blood  in  a  horse  was.  Caplaw  Gwry- 
icopBht  an  officer  at  Hidifax,  had  seen  his  horse  and  praisMl 
hini,  and  t^  was  «i0Uffli---<^at  stamped  hfan— 4hal  fixed 
^t»  talue.  It  was  like  me  Prasldent'e  name  to  a  bank  notei 
it  makes  it  piMS  current.  Well,  says  I,  I  hanH  get  •  dro* 
Of  blood  in  me  nothin  igtronger  than  molnoses  and  wilw^  K 
"Voiw,  hbit  I  guese  I  know  a  torse  when  I  see  him'ftKr  aft 
ilttt,  and  I  dbn*t  think  atay  great  shakes  c^  your  beasi,  aiqr 
^w ;  what  start  will  you  give  roe,  sa^  I,  and  I  wffi  tun 
<  Old  Caay*  a§pn  yooy.fl>r  a  mile  lick  right  an  eend.  Ttm 
roAh  said  he.  for  twenty  dollars.  WeU,  we  run,  s«ed  I 
«^  'Old  Clay'  bite  in  his  breath,  and  enly  beat  him  by 
half  a  neck.  A  tight  scratch,  says  I,  that,  and  it  weald 
hafe  served  me  right  if  I  had  been  l»at.  I  had  no  business 
to  tan  an  oHd  roadeler  so  evevlastin  fiist,  it  aiat  fkir  en  hbn, 
k  itt  8ayt  lie,  I  will  double  the  bet  md  stut  eiNtn,  and 
rah  ^u.  agin  it  you  dare.  Well,  saya  I,  siaee.I  won  the 
Uurt  It  H^oufdnH  be  pretty  not  to  ^d^e  vou  a  ehanoe ;  1  dft 
•uj^tose  f  ou^m*t  to  veflise,  but  i  don't  love  to  abuse  my 
beast  by  knodein  him  about  this  way. 
•  As  soon  as  the  money  was  staked,  I  said,  HadnH  we  bet^ 
tor,  rays  I,  draw  stakes,  that  are  blood  horse  of  yourn  has 
such  uncommon  particular  bottom,  he*ll  perhaps  leave  me 
dean  out  of  sight.  No  fear  of  that,  said  he,  larfin,  but  he*H 
bolt  you  easy,  any  how.  No  flinchin,  says  he,  PH  not  let 
TOO  back  of  the  bargain.  Its  run  or  fi»rfeit.  Well,  rays 
1,  friend,  there  is  fear  of  it ;  your  horse  will  leave  me  out 
of  sigirt  to  a  sartainty,  that's  a  feet,  fer  he  «aa'l  keep  up  to 
me  no  ftete.  Ill  drbp  him,  hull  down,  in  tu  tu's.  If  Old 
Clay  £dnt  make  a  r<kd  of  him,  it's  a  pity.  Didn't  he  gal- 
.op  pretty,  that's  all?  He  walked  away  from  him,  jist  ai 
the  Chailoelior  Livingston  steamboat  passes  a  sloop  at 


aoehor  in  the  North  Rirer.  Sayi  I,  I  told  you  your  hone 
would  beat  roe  clean  out  of  sight,  hut  you  wouldn't  belioro 
me;  now,  savB  I,  I  will  tell  you  toinetiilng  elie*  Thtt  are, 
hone  will  help  yoki  to  looae  more  money  to-  HallAut  than 
you  are  a  thmkin  oh;  ibr  there  eint  a  beaet  gone  down 
flhere  that  won't  beat  hjaau  He  can*t  run  a  bit,  and  you 
mar  teH  the  Britiah  Captain  I  say  lOr '  TViJki  Mm  home  and 

•fmmwt  mmdgime^  itp  Hood  kortuto  thtm  thai  mm  qford 
i»  Mf  wtMeMpt  *o  lend  '«m^  atid  k^9$  htlHn  time  h 
At^mfh^amm^ilumeyitorwktnmleMitifcrdiotoMMt 
Muk,  wiikma  tkinkin  agin  ef  tkekr  ha*  When  i  wani 
mg  adfice,  iuiid  he^  I  will  mI  If,  moM  peakily  <iiilky* 
Ytw  m^ht  hai«  got  il  before  you  tuttd  (br  it,  Mid  I,  mi 
ittot  wibtB  yw»  wanud  it,  you  may  depend  on  it*  Bot 
elemaaid  I,  let's  see  that  aUVi  right  aA>re  we  part)  eo  1 
«eante  6¥er  the  fifteen  pounds  I  won  of  him,  note  by  noiei 
«i'Mf«r:«s  a^y^iing,  oti  purpose  to  ryle  him,  then  I  mounta 
AOli  caay*  agin,  and  sa^s  I,  Friend,  you  have  considenibly 
tibeed^aiitage  of  roe  this  hitdi,  any  howt  Poeaible  t  laye 
h^  how's  that?  Why,  says  I,  I  sueas  youll  return  rather 
4i|^rter  than  you  catee— 4uid  that's  more  nor  I  can  lay,  aajr 
how^  and  thai  I  gave  him  a  wink  and  a  jupe  of  the  head, 
as  nneii  as  tb  say,  *  do  yon  takef  and  rode  on  and  left 
him  atarin  and  scratchin  his  head  like  a  leller  who*!  lost  hki 
TMHii  if  ^et  oidzen  aint  a  bom  fod,  wr  too  fltr  gone  in 
the  diwaae)  depend  on't  he  fbuhd  *  •  enrw/or  tmueit** 


'  i    l^lfi 


:aH/*Jl . 


<i9b 


THC  CLOOSMAnR. 


I 


I 


CHAPTER  XXn. 
THE  BLOWIN  TIME. 


'u  Tun  long  rambling  dianrtatkm'M  cononttowhiehl  &•> 
^jiMt  liaten^,  from  the  Clockmaker,  forcibly  raminded  nw 
of  the  celebrated  aphorism  *gnot]d  leatilon,  know  thfMlf, 
which,  both  firom  its  great  antiquity  an<l  wisdcNn,  fan  Jbeen 
f by  many  attributed  to  an  oracle. 

WUh  all  his  shrewdness  to  discover,  and  his  bamoor  to 
ridicule  die  kiUea  of  others,  Mr.  Slick  was  Uind  tothe  BMinjr 
defects  of  his  own  character ;  and  while  prescribing  *m  aae 
lor  conceit,*  exhibitiki  in  all  he  said,  and  all  he  did^the  BDoat 
overweening  conceit  himself.  He  never  spoke  of  his  «ini 
countrymen,  without  calling  them  the  *  most  fifee  and  en^ 
lightened  citizens  on  the  face  of  the  airth,*  ot  9i  *  takin  ihb 
smne  (^  of  all  creation.*  His  oounby  he  boasted  lo  .ie 
the  *  best  atween  the  two  poles,*  *  the  greatest  glo^  imdiir 
heaven.*  The  Yankees  In  considered  (to  use  his  ezptM- 
sion)  as  *actilly  the~  class>Ieaders  in  knbwledga  aoioi^; 
all  the  Americans,*  and  boasted  that  they  have  not  «oiy 
'gone  ahead  of  all  others,*  but  had  litoly  arrived  at  tiuit 
most  enviaUe  ne  plus  ultra  point  *  goin  ahead  of  themsejhres^* 
In  short,  he  entertained  iio  dou£  that  Slick^iUe  was  4fae 
finest  place  in  the  greatest  nation  in  the  world,  and  Ihe  Slick 
fiunily  the  wisest  family  in  it. 

I  was  about  calling  his  attention  to  this  national  trait, 
when  I  saw  him  draw  his  reins  under  his  foot  (a  mode  of 
driving  peculiar  to  himself,  when  he^wished  to  economise 
the  time  that  would  otherwise  be  lost  by  an  unnecessary 
delay,)  and  taking  off  his  hat,  (which,  like  a  pedlar's  pack, 
contained  a  general  'assortment,)  select  from  a  number  ^ 
loose  cigars  one  that  appeared  likely  *  to  go,*  as  he  crilev; ' 
it.    Having  lifted  it  by  a  lucifer,  and  ascertained  thhl  it 
was  *  true  in  draft,*  be  resumed  his  reins,  uid  remarked 
*  This  must  be  au  everlastin  fine  country  beyond  all  doubt 
lor  the  folks  have  nothin  to  do  but  to  ride  aboUt  and  talk 
politics.    In  winter,  when  the  ground  is  covered  with  snow, 


wibl  cpididtliiMi  thty  iMitw  «  tlaym  over  them  ken 
«Mui4e»  vUb  the  gdk,  or  pli^iB  bell  on  the  ioe,  or  gpm  tP 
wuk^  ffoiios  of  nice  kmg  winter  eveningB,  and  then  f 
nriTin  Imne  like  mad  by  moonligm.  Natur  meant  tail 
eeeiMn  on  j^irpose  for  oourfo.  A  little  tidy  acrumiytlDue 
ieeking  dby,  a  real  olipj^r  of  a  boree,  a  string  of  belle 
>  «»  long  as  a  atiing  of  imoos  round,  hie  neck,  aim  a  iq^% 
en^Wehaekr  kiokm  for  all  the  world  Uke  i^  bunch  pf  yi^ 
iM^he  <^  at  gatheiin  timet  and  a  sweetheart  elongra^  .llUi 
flMAed  iij^  but  hor  eyes  iqid  lipe->-the  one  lookio  ^g^t  inf6 
yoai,  and  Ifae  .other  taUun  r^ht  at  ygu—is  oV  amoet 
«M)u^  <to  dri¥e  one  ravin,  tarin,  distracted  mad  wiUi  p\e^ 
•am^  ainft ;kl  And  tfien  the  dear  otittem  qaytiie  beluugiake 
audi  a  iUb,  Ihere^s  no  hearin  one's  self  spoak ;  so  toly  put 
1Mb  pzttty  Mttle  jmigB  c^ee  up  to  your  face,  and  talk,  ti|i|, 
ialfc^  tii.one  ean'i  help  looking  right  at  them  instead  of  ttp 
1mfi%  «Bd  then  whi4>  you  b^  go  capsisM^  into  a  mpiw 
4rift  toaeftir,  sknis,  cushions,  and  all*  And  then  to  n^ 
4fie  4ittM  «pitt«r  aheke  herself  when  ehe  {pts  up|  likevl^ 
Aide  tmntokitam  a  pond,  a  ekatterin  away  lul  the  ^uom  Mo 
»€^n«Kgr  bird^^ind  you  a  haw-hawin  wmi  pleasure  is  luii 
^M^  foit  may  depend.  In  this  way  .b)ue-noee  mto  If^ 
HutiBSt  Umao^  as  a  Ic^rier,  afore  M  knows  wbexf  p 


^fialwten  kte  gi^  mwnried,  he  repovers*  his  e]^esigfat  jpi 
little  less  than  half  no  time.  I^  soon  fio^  he's  treed; 
lii  iiatiie  fixed  tihen,  you.  may  depend*  Bbe  larns  hmi 
hem  vinegar  is  mades  JPnf  fUnip  laf  mgwt  «n<o  ||s 

Urtaktkorp.  V Tlie iMf  ieon  the  otter  »de of  his mou& 
jftea^N  If  kli  slay  gets  upeot,  it's  no  l<mger  a  fum^y  n^ 
tn^  { lell  yOttf  he  ci^c^es  it  right  and  l«ft.  filer  eyes 
te^ilook  ri^  i»  to  hian  any  moro,  nor  l|er  litde  toi^f^ 
ving,  ang,  luag^  liice  a  bell  any  kmper,  but  a  .greatj^ 
imod  0Qiver»  hear  head,  and  a  whafpn  great  nmff  coveiRB 
l»r  &c«i  and  afao  looks  liko  a  bag  of  soiled  clothes  fUBoin 
to'the  bsocdc  to  bo  washed*  When  they  get  out,  s}^  ^n,^t 
«Bit«i^  mfltfe  for  him  to  walk  lock  and  lock' with  her 
tMt  they  mafc^  like  a  horse  and  a  cow  to  water,  f^oe  m 
Mwb^gattefw  M  them  aint  a  transmogrificatioh  it'p  a  pi^. 
The  mfl^mice  atween  a  wife  and  a  sweetheart  ,is  lOT 


- 


I 


« 


m 

^item'  M  gnat  M  Hiew  ia  betweeft  mv  md 
-Mi  iMm  Merer  tiMs  of  puttiB  ono.  to  li»  lip,  but 
pkguy  wi^  flicM  at  totW.  It  makea  me  ao 
%wnbieeropt  ^hen  I  thiBk  o»  it,  that  Vm  mSemmi  to  io# 
twne  on  matnunony  at  all.  i  bave  aeoi  aomt  bUiu  naaaa 
moat  properly  bit,  you  may  depend.  Totf ve  aaaot  a  ^tf 
«  alicttn  oik  a  most  beatttiiUl  amooth  bit  of  ioe,  M'Hl  ywib 
lartii,  «ld  hoopin,  and  baUowin  tike  one  poMMBadi 
jMiaaeatly  ibwae  Ke  goes  in.  over  head  and  eoial 
Ike  outs  fins,  and  flops  about,  and  blowa  like  •  pt 
properly  friffbtened,  dbn't  be  1  and  when  he  gets  ohI  theea 
he  ataMs,  all  shiverin  and  shakin,  wad  the  water  a  ai|ttisli» 

Suail^lTin  his  shoes,  uid  histrowaers  all  sticIuB  alimaanf 
se  to  his  leg^.  Wril,  he  sneaka  off  home,  kxdnn  lik»  « 
fiiol,  and  thinun  every  body  he  nnela  m  a  hatat  at  him-i*' 
Hiaiqr  Iblks  here  are  like  that  are  boy,  afor»  they  hamhaan 

'aiz  months  married.  They'd  be  proper  glad  to  gat  mftwi 
the  serajie  too,  and  sneak  off  if  they  oonld,  thara  a  iMt. 

iPha  mutiage  yoke  is  pla|piy  apt  to  gall  the  aack,  aa  Iha 

iih  boilr  does  the  ox  in  rainy  weather^  nalaas  k  ha  meat 
wticqkirly  ilrell  fitted.  You Ve  Men  a  yoke  of  ealtle^hat 
lliam*t  properly  mated,  they  spend  mote  stmBstb  in  piiiMa 
igin  each  other,  than  in  pullin  the  load.'   WeUtlNt'a  i^ 

%ta  bf  the  case  with  them  as  choose  their  wives  in  slc%hi» 
jitfties,  quiltin  ftd^,  and  so  <» ;  instead-^  the  damea, 
worns,  and  obeese^hoose. 

'  Now  Uttb  Uue-aeaea  are  all  a  atirrin  in  miatasi  Tkm 
pmaf^  Iblka  drive  out  the  galli,  and  talk  love  and  all  aaali 
c€  things  as  sweet  as  doug^-nuts.  The  «rfd  fi)Uia<  ^wl^it 
near  about  as  well  to  leave  the  old  women  to  home,  6r 
fitar  they  shouldn't  keep  tune  togetlMr;  ao  they  drive  oat 
Idime  to  chat  aUfOt  Ifouse  of  AsaemUy  with  theur  neigh 
boura,  white  tl»  boys  and  hired  hdpa  do  the  dwaea. 
When  the  Spring  comes,  imd  the  fiekb  vm  fbry  enwi^  10 
he  sowed,  thev  all  have  to  be  j^owed,  emumfatt  mkik 
liwal  Ifte  Iflfkic  loo  mtehforml  phugkin*  Well,  tha 
plowt  have  to  be/ mended  and  sharp^ied,  eoiiaa  adbM^  lie 
«ae  of  dom  Aai  dfwt  ifs  manied.  Well,  the  wfaaat^rta 
in  too  late,  and  then  comes  rust,  but  whose  ftult  iathiK»f 
Whp  Me  mmate  to  be  «Kfe,  far  Nom  Stotuk  oiMtm^hmi 


;/ 


^4iniHi^  laML  hM  to  nur  evwr  w  fiir  m  fiMt  «■  kt  om 
«%  Im  IMS  to  flop  uA  telw  buMiki  tou  mnC  do  that  or 
fM^  Bo  it  k  with  a  honar  run  him  a  miia,  aad  Ma 
iaaka  wiH  heave  Uko  a  bladuanith't  ballowf  i  you  rauat 
alaeit  up  the  rein  and  gite  him  a  little  imad,  or  ball  flill 
fight  down  widi  you.  ItatandaioreaaontdooHitl  Atariit 
a|mag «h1  frU woA k * Bhwim Ume*  Then Oourtt ooom 
0tt|Wl  Grand  Jory  bwineiai  and  Militia  trauiin,  and  Raee 
tnitoin)  end  wliat  not  |  and  a  fine  qpell  of  ricKn  i^NHit  Mid 
dein  nethui,  a  reid  *Bhwm  time*  Tlien  otmiaa  harreat, 
and  that  ia  proper  hard  work*  mowin  and  pitohin  hay,  and 
reapin  and  bindin  grain,  and  polatoe  diggio.  That's  aa 
hara  aa  aofe  leather,  afore  it's  hammered  on  the  ]ap>  stone 
•^^e  n  most  next  to  any  thing.  It  takes  a  fdler  as  tough 
«r  CMd  Hiehory  ^General  Jacks(m)  to  stand  that. 

Oluo  ia  most  the  only  countrv  I  know  of  where  Iblks  are 
latfed  tiMt  trduMe ;  and  there  the  ftesheta  oome  jist  in  the 
iiok  of  time  for  W,  and  sweep  all  thecrqw  ris^t  up  m  a 
heap  fiar  *em,'and  A^  have  nothin  to  do  Iwt  take  4t  home 
tnd  house  it,  and  sometimes  a  man  gets  more  than  hil  Snm 
ciep,  and  findea  proper  swad  of  it  already  {Hied  up»  o^y  a 
IH^  wet  or  so;  W  all  countries  aint  like  CHwo.  Wc^, 
aitmr  hiapveat  tom»  &11,  and  thai  there^s  a  grand  *  Uowin 
tiala'  till  vpaott.  Now,  how  the  Lord  the  MUe>noaes  can 
^onq^  'a  «f  their  eotintry,  when  it*s  (mly  <me-tlard  week 
and  two-thirds  *  blowm  time,*  no  soul  can  teU.  ^- 

Fathiff  used  to  say,  when  I  lived  an  the  farm  idong  with 
UMrHBam,  says  he,  I  vow  I  wish  thoee  was  jnt  fbur  hun- 
dred days  in  tlie  year,  finr  its  a  placuy  sight  too  ^ort  ibr 
me.  I  ean  find  as  much  work  as  all  hands  on  us  can  do 
fbr  865  days,  and  jtst  95  days  more,  if  we  had  *em^  We 
haa*tgot  a  nnnit  to  spare;  you  must  shell  the  com  and 
Wiraer  the  gram  at  night,  clesn  all  up  slick,  or  I  euess  weMl 
&11  «MnrQ,  as  smre  as  Hie  Ixurd  made  Moaes.  If  he  didnt 
keep  in^l  irt  U,  a  drivin  away  full  chisel,  the  whole  blessed 
time^^it^i  M^^*  There  was  na'  blowin  time'  there,  you  may 
depmid.^  We  plowed  all  the  faU  for  dear  life ;  in  wiirter  we 
timt^ed,  madeimd  mended  tools,  w^t  to  market  and  null, 
and  got  out  our  firewood  and  rails.  As  soon  i^  frost  waa 
fenOf  SMne  sbwin  and  plantin,  weedin  and  hoein— then  har- 
vest and  spreadin  compost — then  gatherin  manure,  fisnctn 


m 


WB 


ii 


^ 


p 


IpdiBloliiii  •»< twfn tttwd IMi ploiHB agto.  ItiSii%nC 
Mundlito  a  whtel  without  ftop^  «Mlfoikit)  I  (MiijMi 
eottldn'i  sm  tha  ipokM,  just  om  long  «ferlMtin  •m>lM  IraM 
liily  to  etaroitT,  witboiit  time  to  lodk  back  «k  tlwr  tfWtoi 
Hwtaad  of  raem  of«r  the  oountry  like  a  yoiiag  doetory  is 
•iKyw  howbaey  a  man  ia  that  haa  ikothin  to  do,  ai  l»lne>deai 
doee»  aad  thea  take  a  •  Mo/«rin  time,*  we  kept  a  rate  titfielHii 

fitet  aik  eigkt^ik-an-hour  pace,  the  whole  year  VBund; 
llcy  hujf  mart  nor  the$  mli,  and  tat  more  than  Hkp  ttim, 
in  tbia  country.  What  a  pretty  way  that  m;  ia*Bt  itt  If 
4ie  critten  kniew  how  to  cypher^  they  would  soon  Aid  cut 
that  a  aum  stated  that  way  always  eends  in  a  naught,  I 
never  knew  it  to  ikil,  and  I  defy  any  souT  to  oyphof  it  eo; 
■•  to  make  it  oome  out  any  otoer  way,  eidMr  by  8dkiolt> 
roaster's  Asmitant  or  Aloebra.  When  I  waa  a  bdy^  the 
Siickville  bank  Broke,  and  an  awfhl  disordermeat  it  riMde, 
that's  a  lact ;  nothin  else  was  talked  of.  Well,  I  sliidled  it 
over  a  loag  time,  but  I  couldn't  ioaake  it  out :  so  myk  h 
Father*  how  came  that  are  bank  to  break  Y  Wamt  k  wm 
hoiltl  I  thought  thi^  are  Quincy  nanite  was  yn  umaiAli 
Itrong  all  lAatur  wouldn't  break  iu  whv  yoo  f:xSMt  evlt- 
tcnr,  eays  he,  it  tant  the  buU^  that's  broke,  its  the  eensafn 
that'*  smashed.  Well,  says  I,  I  know  folks  an  pitfgiiitly 
oonsamed  about  it,  but  what  do  yovi'tiall  *  folks  smashia 
tibdrqeiisama?'  Father,  he  larfod  out  Ske  any  thii^ ;  I 
thought  he  never  would 'stop— and  sister  Sail  got  bright  up 
and  walked  out  of  the  room,  as  mad  aa  a  batter.  Says  she, 
Sam,  I  do  believe  yoii  are  a  bom  fool,  I  vow.  When  Fa> 
ther  had  done  larmi,  saya  he,  I'H  tell  you,  Sam^  how  it  Uraa. 
They  cyphered  it  so,  that  they  brou^t  out  nothin^  for  a 
remainder.  Possible !  says  I ;  I  thou^t  tliere  was  no  eettd 
to  their  puss.  I  thought  it  was  hke  Uncle  Peleg's  imiaquaidi 
hcde,  aad  that  no  sotd  could  ever  find  the  bottMa.t^,  My  1 1 
says  I.  Yes,  says  he,  that  are  bank  spent  and  hMt  aio^ 
money  than  it  made,  and  when  feXka  do  that,  iAey  must 
smash  alt  last,  if  their  puss  be  as  long  as  the  national  <Mto 
of  Undle  Sam.  This  mvince  is  like  that  are  bank  of  oum, 
it's  goin  the  same  road,  and  theyll  find  the  little  e»kl<i^^ 
hem  afore  they  think  they  are  half  way  ^wn  to  it. 
^.  If  folks  woi4d  ibnly  give  over  talkhig  about  ^t  everlotft* 
1b  liduse  of  Assonably  and  CtMincil,  and  see  to  theii*  fomn, 


*^PpI^  ■■  ^WWK-'^*^  '    ^^^w^* 


^^^ 


Wl^?i  oiMy  «  wri  of  M  qImi^  Qnod  Jury,  and  adOiiB 
Om^  itV  no  iiiafv  Uko  Coq0mi  or  PMti>rae0t  Umb  Blun 
^jmsliV  kvepw  room  bliko^r  Stato  haU.  Ifi  jin 
m^in— Cooffiefs  makea  war  and  peaoo^  haa  a  aay  in  aU 
treatiet»  'conlarina  all  sreat  nominations  of  the  President, 
regilates  the  army  and  navy,  goventp  twenty-four  inde- 
pendent States,  and  snaps  its  fingers  in  the  face  of  all  the 
nations  of  Europe,  as  much  as  to  say,  who  be  you  f  I  allot 
I  am  as  Ug  as  y<Mi  be.  If  you  are  six  foot  h(gh,  I  am  six 
fix>t  six  in  my  stockiii  feet,  by  |«m,  and  can  iMobaste  uv 
two  on  you  in  no  time.  The  Bntish  can  whipidl  the  world, 
and  we  can  whip  the  Briti9h.  But  this  lUtle  House  of  As- 
sembly that  folks  make  such  a  touss  about,  what  is  itt 
M^by  prt  a  decent  Grand  Jury,  Thev  make  their  praNHt- 
meots  of  little  mon^  yotes,  to  mend  tiiese  everlairtia  roltiii 
little  wooden  bridges,  to  throw  a  poultice  of  mud  (Hic«-<j|| 
year  on  the  roads,  and  than  taha  a  *  Uowin  time*  of  thraa 
npptjbS'fnd  go  home.  The  Uttlei^  folks  be,  the  bigger  they 
taH(.  Vou  never  seed  a  small  nan  that  did*nt  wear  hkn 
heel  boots,  an^  a  high  crowned  hat,  and  that  wara*t  residy 
to  fight  most  any  one,  to  show  that  he  was  a  mui  evexy 
iadiof  him* 

I  met  a  member  the  other  day,  who  swmered  near 
about  ps  targe  as  Uncle  PeW*  He  looked  as  if  ne  thoU|^ 
you  couldn't  find  his  'ditto  auy» where.  I^  used  sonais 
most  particular  «ihicational  words,  grauine  jaw-breakers. 
He  put  9)e  in  mind  of  a  squirrel  I  <»ioe  shot  in  our  wood 
location.  The  little  critter  got  a  hickory  nut  in  his  moiith ; 
well,  he  found  it  too  hard  to  crack,  and  too  Im^  to  swallsor, 
and  for  the  lifo  and  soul  of  Um,  he  couldnH  spit  it  out  ac^ 
If  lie  didn't  look  like  a  proper  fool,  you  inay  depend.  We 
had  a  ixmd  back  of  our  iMurn,  about  the  Ittgaess  <^  *  Jl^^ 
suseable  wash-tub,  and  it  was  chock  foil  of  fross.  Wdl, 
ojai9  of  tbeM  little  critters  landed  himselfa  bull-frog,  aifil 
lie  pu^  out  his  cheeks,  and  took  ft  niel  *  blowin  time*  <^ 
iti  lie  KMNfd  away  like  thunder;  at  last  he  puflbd  and 
pi^ib4oi^  ^  he  bust  like  a  byler.  If  I  see  the  Speaker 
this  winter,  (and  I  shall  see  him  to  a  sartainty  if  they  don't 
apild  for  him  to  LcKidon,  to  teach  their  new  Speaker,)  and 
|«V  up  to  snufT,  tliat  are  man ;  he  knows  how  to  cypW-r- 
11  * 


ni  jiK  My  te  lUto,  Bfmim,  layt  I,  if  lay  of  mr  |Mkiri| 
tl»  HouM  go  to  nPiAl  cfM\Sk»Anftr,f^if^*mn%Wmm 
ti»i>  iip3rMHiryeQlMM»tM«ai(toMMyiri4Vi«koit 
yttt,  kl  off  a  Ultlo  HMfli'Boir  wai  UmBi  or  foum  Mb  ftfllT; 
BMottMt  Um  CtookowlMrV  Hory  of  tko  •  Btowin  ttaae.* 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

•^  FATHER  JOHN  0«IAUGUNC88r. 

.  To^fOBBow  wiU  bt  flobbath  day,  Mid  the  doeknakar, 
IfOMsWU  bide  whoMwaba  till  Monday.    IHkeaflaV 
Ijatli  is  the  coontry,  all  aatuv  eeems  at  net.    There*e  a* 
qhaerfiilMM  in  the  day  here^  you  don*l  Hod  In  towae.: 
Ton  have  natur  befoia  you  here,  end  nothfn  but  art  thera ' 
'thti  deathy  etillneee  of  a  town,  and  the  ban«d  wkdowa 
and  ehut  ebofw,  and  empty  etreete,  and  areat  long  linee  cfi 
big  brick  buUduM,  look  netaacholy;    It  eeeme  to  If  li#' 
had  oeaeed  ticken,  but  there  hadn't  been  time  ibirdeetiy  W 
take  h(4d  on  theref  as  if  day  had  broke, ^ut  man  sle^.    I 
eiei't  deecribe  oactiy  what  I  mean,  but  I  ahraye  fbel  kinder 
g^pomy  and  whatnbleoroB^  there; 
«  N4v  in  the  eooMry  iVa  jiet  what  it  ought  to  he— a  day 
qf  leet  fiur  aMa  and  beaet  fWmi  labor.    When  a  man  nseii. 
on  the  Sabbath,  and  looka  out  cm  the  suimy  fidMb  and^ 
wwria  arop|i,  Ms  heart  (M»  proper  gnteild,  and  he  Myfe,^ 
came,  tto  it  a  epkndid  day^  aint  it  T  let^  ^  ready  and^ 
pirt  on  ottff  b^tennoit  cldee,  and  go  to  meetin.    Ifie  ftrat. 
tlwighl  ift  pittjjwrlUUy  to  fender  thanks ;  and  then  when  he^ 
gttialo  wa««hip  he  me^  all  hie  nei^bon,  and  he  knowt' 
OSftm  aU,  and  they  are  glad  to  see  each  other,  and  if  aR# 
two  on  *em  haa*t  gM*d  togedier  durm  the  Week,  why  thejr 
meat  aof  Inad  of  neutral  ground,  and  the  miniver  or  aeigh  ' 
bcfft  maika  peaee  atween  them.    But  it  tante  ao  in'  towivi^j 
You  don't  uiow  n0i<«e  you  meet  thera.    It's  the  worship 
of  aeighborei  bat  it*t  the  worsh^)  of  strangete,  too,  pf 


fatimiqwiVmu 


ji^Xhmw  nor  mm  akom  mek  oiktr.    Tmi  I 

hui  the  oouQtij. 
jpUjfiBgtlua  •olito^qy»  W  tmkvmmnum^fUaH  htm 
•ad  tunung  to  th«  litle-Mii»  takl.  We  yM 


Mm  Um  tieiji  took  on  the  *  EUUr  CMtravmy,*  (li 
^ny  on  the  lulyect  of  Iniknt  Baptiim.)  Thii  •utlMr'* 
iHenon  say  U*i »  cUnoher;.they  my  he  hae  mled  up  Bl« 
derV  month  M  tight  M  n  bottle.  No,  aud  I,  I  have  not ;  I 
^ve  heard  of  it,  but  never  read  it.  In  my  opimon  the  Mibi 
iect  haa  been  exhausted  already,  and  admits  of  nolhia  new 
bein  said  upon  it.  Theae  relijpoua  controversiee  are  a  ae* 
rioua  iniucy  to  the  cauae  of  true  religioii ;  ther  are  deeply 
40plorea  &  the  good  and  moderate  men  of  ail  partiea.  It 
kiM  i^reaoy  embraced  aeveral  denoroinationa  in  the  dispuli 
m  tbM  jProvince,  and  I  bear  the  agitation  has  extended  to 
Nei|r  Brunswick,  where  it  will  doubtleaa  be  renewed  with 
equal  s^.  I  am  told  all  the  pamphlets  are  exceptionnMn 
in  Doi^  of  temper,  and  this  one  m  particular,  whidi  not 
only,  apcjiiibes  the  most  unworthy  motives  to  its  antagon^ 
but  cont^^  some  very  unjustifiable  and  gratuitoua  attaokt 
t^>on  otner  sects  unconnected  with  the  dispute.  The  aulhotf 
1|AS  iiUHi^  his  own  cause,  U>t  an  lateMpcrale  mivoimhii 
iiforf  avigermi$  than  an  <^pcn  foe.  There  is  no  doubt  on 
it,  sai4  the  Clockmaker,  it  is  as  clear  as  mud,  and  yon  am 
no^  tli^  only  ona  that  thinks  so,  I  tell  you. 

About  the  hottest  time  of  the  dupute,  I  waa  to  IfeliHur^ 
and  who  ahould  I  meet  but  Father  John  CyShaaghncasy,  a 
CaUic  rriest.  I  had  met  him  afore  in  (kpe  Bi-eton,  and 
had  sql^  him  a  clock.  Well,  he  was  a  leggin  it  off  hot  fooC»^ 
Possible,  says  I,  Father  John,  is  that  vou^-Why,  what  onF 
airtb  is  the  matter  of  you*— whiU  makes  yon  in  such  an 
eyerl^fl^in  hurry,  drivin  away  like  one  ravin,  distracted 
qnad?  ^  A  sick  visit,  says  he;  poor  Pat  Lanigan,  him  ^at' 
you  mind  to  Bradore  Lake,  well  he*s  near  abmit  aft  the  pinf 
of  deaths  I  guess  not,  said  I,  for  I  jist  hear  VeM  he  was 
dfoad*  I'fell,  that  brought  him  im  all  standin,  and  he  bouts 
sliqpi  in  aji^,  and  walks  a  little  way  with  me,  and  wa 
got  a  talkin,  about  this  very  subject.  Snys  he,  What  are 
you,  Mr.  Stick?  Well,  I  looks  up  to  Liu;,  and  winks,  A 
CfOpkpiaker,  says  I ;  well,  he  smiled,  ,and  says  he,  I  see , 
a(|  much  as  to  say  I  hadaH  ought  to  have  e-xed  that  am 


-^  M 


%■ 


tk 


iinMlbii  at  iiU»  I  gimt,  hi  mtn  <nan*s  N^gvm  WUt  own. 
Mi  m^o&y  «M*i  bttt^nmut  Tmn,  says  he,  yoa  kwnridl 
fikmi  tWt  cwumy— «wte  doii  Ibtkt  mv  has  the  best  of  th* 
ifciytHit  fl»yi  1,  fttlitriohii,  it's  like  the  battles  up  to 
QWMilft  UMt  kwt  m*r,  eiah  side  daims  victory ;  I  gueia 
l%f#  aifil^  HMeb  to  bmg  en  nary  way,  damage  done  on  botii 
■idiMif  aMl  Mtbiii  gfUuMf  as  ikr  as  I  can  team.  He  stdot 
libo9l|  and  tooM  tm  te  the  fboe,  and  says  he,  Mr.  Slicl, 
fou  ant  ft  IMA  tbftt  hfti  Med  a  good  deal' of  the  world,  and 
»  oeoiiil9ffftbt0  of  «»  Ufidei^tidin  man,  and  I  guess  I  earn 
UAk  to  foih  MoWt  myg  be«  ht  gracious  sake  do  jist  look 
bdftr  IIM  SM  bow  yOH  boretics  (Protestants  I  hmao,  says 
lie^"*-^  I  gtiMi  tbftt  a«o  word  slq>t  out  without  Isave,)  are 
tqrtba  otni)  ft  dfiWn  ftway  at  each  other,  the  whole  blessed 
wmf  tooth  ftnd  tiftilf  b(p  «fld  thigfa,  hammer  and  tongs,  dia- 
fHitiDy  fwviltoy  WfAHftiiii  and  beloUtih  each  other*  with  all 
iortt  of  «f  (y  nftfnoi  thst  they  can  lay  their  tongues  to.  Is 
^Mtt  tiM  Wftjr  yon  loi^t  your  neighbor  as  yoursehf;  We  aay 
tJUfk  tttremstA  eommtmi  m  tehUm,  and  by  the  powen 
•f  MoU  KoUy,  Mid  bo,  but  tbc^  all  ought  to  be  WtU  ^ 
basted  toMtnoTt  tbo  wholo  batch  on  *em  entirely;  ^^^ys  I, 
Fatbar  iSmt  «¥«  mo  youf  hand ;  there  are  sonK^'^'Chidgs  I 
iiiess  ym  ftftd  I  doftH  &pm  on,  and  most  likely  nmet  will, 
mnin  tbfti  you  ftifo  ft  Pof^h  piA&tt  ,*  but  in  that  idee  I  do 
opinionato  with  yott«  ftsd  I  wiah*  with  all  my  heart,  all  the 
wmM  tboitght  with  u»» 

I  ^fmm  M  dida*!  half  Ukt  that  are  word  Popish  priest* 
H  aoMiod  io  pig  hlffl  like  i  his  fi&ee  looked  kmder  ryied, 
iUio  watt  Wfttor  ftrt^  ft  hoaty  rain;  and  said  he,  Mr. 
9^ekt  my§  hOf  youf  ooufitfv  la  a  fi«e  country,  aint  it  t 
The  Aniiftf  Myf  I,  o«  tho  »oe  of  the  airth^ou  caB*t 
4itto^  it  nowhofo.  Wo  ftfo  as  fWse  as  the  air,  ukt  when 
our  dandof'i  up,  itfougor  than  any  hurricane  you  ever 
Mo^d'-p^oftp  op  att  ^foatbn  most ;  there  aint  the  beat  of  it 
to  bo  found  ftiiywbofo*  Do  you  call  this  a  free  country  t 
said  bo.  PfDtty  oonaidif ftMo  middlin,  says  I,  seein  that 
thay  mm  widor  ft  king*  Well^  says  he,  if  you  were  seen 
10  Coiiflootioot  ft  0hakla  bftads  along  with  a  Popish  priest, 
as  yoti  ar^  ploftfid  to  Ofttt  ffl@,  (and  he  made  me  a  bow,  aa 
io»ch  aa  to  my)  mind  ydur  trumps  the  next  deal)  aa  yon 
mm  •!•  is  tbo  otraota  of  HatiAix  afong  with  me;  with  ail 


'   ^ 


;3mnr  "CtMkiii  aabii  boa^n  of  year  fireedoin»  I  guess  yon 
%oal(thi*t  sdl  m  oloek  agin  in  tha^  S(«te  for  one  while,  I 
'ta^  ycNi^'x^uid  be  l»d  me^goed  momki  ttoA  turned  awiiyk 
#RtfaeF  Jito  f  says  I.— •!  can't  stop,  sayb  he ;  I  must  see 
Hmt  poor  .iiitter^s  fan^ly ;  they  must  be  in  great  trouble, 
viarit*  ook  t^isit  is  afore  controvarsy  in  my  creed.  Wd9, 
mif  K  one  word  «rith  you  albre  you  go ;  if  that  are  name 
9|ml|  prfest  was  an^  onflenteei  one,  I  tat  your  pardojD ;  I 
dnm^  mean  no  oflfence,  I  d6  assure  you,  andPU  say  this 
-Ibr  your  satlsfiiction,  tu,  yoa*re  the  first  man  in  this  Prb- 
Tince  that  ever  gaire  me  a  red  ririit  down  complete  check- 
male  amoel  fir8t<-sot  fbM  in  k,  Pn  be  skinneni  if  yoo  aint* 

Yes,  said  Mr.  Slick,  Father  hhn  was  right;  these  alt- 
tmrnuaiiig'  diaps  ought  to  beweU  quilted,  the  Whole  rail 
oi  *ma>.  It  ftdny  makes  me  sick  to  see  the  folks,  each  oh 
^nn<a  boddn  up  of  their  own  man.  At  it  agin^  says  one ; 
fair  pli^y,  says  another ;  stick  it  into  him,  says  a  third ; 
mid  thiirat  your  sort,  sayi^  a  fourth.  Them  are  Ae  folks 
wh»  do  ifiischief.  They  show  such  clear  grit  it  faii4y 
Dnghten  me.  It  makes  my  hair  stand  right  up  an  eend 
10  see  mmisters  do  that  are.  B  appean  to  me  mat  lemM 
«prjte  a  b^k  in  favour  of  my»^  andtnynfiiitinft  wMioA 
Wtitii^  «gtii  %f^  oiw,  and  if  I  couldn't  I  woaldnU  wri^ 
tU  aUi  1  more,.  Our  old  minister,  Mr.  Hopewell,  (a  real 
good  man,  and  a  lamed  man  too  that,)  they  sent  to  him 
cnce  to  write  agin  the  Unitarians  for  they  are  agoitt  ahead 
mce  statue  te  New  England',  but  he  refhsed.,,  Said  he, 
Sism,  sayr  he,  when  I  &rst  went  to  Cambridge,  there  was 
tf  boaceir  and  wrestler  eame  there^  and  he  bi^t  every  one 
wherever  he- wenti  'Well,  old  Mr.  Possit  was  the  Church 
of  ^i^and  parson  at  Charlestown,  at  the  time,  and  a  terri^ 
bte  pofv^fbl  mam  he  was-^e  rael  sireezer,  and  as  acftve  as 
m  URMoeh  Well^  the  boxer  met  him  one' day,  a  little  way 
out  of  town,  a  takin  of  his  evenin  walk,  ana  said  he.  Par- 
iett^  says  he,  they  say  you  are  a  most  pli^y  strong  man 
and  miconunon-  stiff  too.  New,  says  he,  I  never  see*d  ft 
man  yet  that  was  a  match  for  me ;  would  you  have  any 
Ithjec^on  jut  to  let  me  be  availed  of  your  strength  her^  in 
a  friendly  way,  by  ourselves,  where  no  soul  would  be  the 
wises;  if  you  will  Pll  keep  daik  about  it,  I  swan.  60 
yow  way,  mM  the  Parson,  and  tempt  nfe  not ;  you  are  ft 


Menial  minded,  wicfked  miA,  nad  I  tako  no  picumit  M 
suoh  vain,  idle  spmrts.  Very  wdtt»  aaid  the  bdwi  mom 
hmte  I  stand,  M^a  he,  in  the  path,  right  alap  «fiiie  yw; 
■j^*,  you  gast  round  me,  then  I  tafc0  it  as  a  sign  thai  yen'Mia 
maax^d  on  me,  and  if  you  keep  the  jpath,  i«hy  then  yKRi 
must  first  put  me  osit-«<that^s  a nd*'  .Tha FMk>n ^inMa 
a^rina  fiMrrasd  and  hitched  him  up  as  quick  as  wink,  and 
thffoired  him  right  over  the  fimee  whap  on  the  bioa^^Clii 
ham^ andjiheniralked  on  as  if  nethin  hadrhappsnait ''i 
as  demure  as  you  fdease,  and  Ipokin  a*  meek  as  if  h«l>. 
tar  wouldnH  nodt  in  his  moirth.  Stop,  said  the  boxM^  ii 
soon  as  he  inched  himadU'  up,  stop  Parson,  said  he,  tha^ 
a  good  mani  and  jiirt  chuck  ovw  my  hora»  tod,  wUlyott, 
^^  I  swui  I  believe  you  oouid  do  <me  near  ahonrtas  «aif 
as  tother^  Myi  said  he,  if  that  don't  bang  the  bttiA} 
you  are  another  guess  chap^m  what  I  took  ynu  to  hii| 
any  how. 

Now,  sMd  Mr.  Hopewell,  says  he,  I  won't  wilHi  hot  H 
ar9  a  Unitarian  grosses  my  path,  FU  jist  ovenrtha  &Q«tt 
>l|cith  him  in  no  time,  as  the  parson  did  the  botasf  f;/^^ 
4ifitin  <mfy  oMrawUet  your  ofiponcitft,  and  mtmr  ^^fih 
fif^eset  fftcM.  I  meter  amt^d  a  eomart  made  i^4^mmf 
yMv  ha  J*U  teU  jfeu  whai  I  hone  eee%  a  mem  eet  kii 
pum  JLodt  a  dmAten  fty  Am  own  loriltn.  Ym  majf  ktrn^ 
Mf  jfour  enomet,  tfMloiiJMmle  ywr  ofpemeUetemd  tn* 
£f9  J!9ir  own  eaiuae  hy  U,  hut  I  d^  wm  io  earte  tl» 
^^Maa  writers,  said  he,  imt  nie  in  nund  or  that  am  boxer^ 
piipihi.  He  wonld  some&nes  set  two  on  'rati  to  spar ;  m^ 
lhe^*d  put  on  thmr  {dbves,  ai^  bef^  hurfin  m  jeUdii 
afi  mgood  humour.  JPreaentiy  oneon  'eqa  woidd  ptjrt  in  a 
mt^  hni^  blow;  welt,  tother  would  return  it  ki  «icwitt 
Oh,  says  the  other,  if  that's  your  play,  off  gloves  and  »A  U{ 
and  sura  enough,  away  would  fly  their  ^oves,  and  al^il 
^aef*d  go  tooth  and  nail. 

No,  Sam,  the  misfortin  ia,  we 'are  all  apt  to  Ihnk 
Scrqitor  inteiQtded  for  our  neighbors,  and  not  for  ourselves* 
Th?  poor  all  think  it  made  ror  the  rich.  Look  at  that  are 
B^ves,  they  saj^,  what  an  all  fired  scrape  he  got  into  by 
liis  avarice,  widi  Lazarus;  and  aint  it  writ  as  pdain  u 
9ny  t^ing,  that  them  foUu  will  find  it  as  easy  to  gq  to 
hei^ven,  as  for  a  camel ,  to  go  through  the  eye  of  a  neMto* 


FATKlti^  «Mi»  «o%s«DBJf  mnr. 


'■■mi 


Well,  then,  the  rich  thiidE  it  ftU  made  for  the  poor--<that 
tfwy  ^hanA  steel  oor  beer  iUee  witness,  but  shall  be  obe- 
4iettt  to  them  that's  in  authority.  And  as  Sot  thc«n  are 
0«tenaas,  and  be  alwaya  get  his  dander  up  when  he 
•pdce  of  them,  why  there's  no  doin  nothin  with  then^ 
says  he.  When  they  get  ^fairly  stum|»ed,  and  you  pro- 
duce a  text  that  they  can't  get  over,  mt  get  round,  why 
.  tlMiy  s^v  il  tante  in  our  version  at  aR*-4hat^i  an  intoppohi- 
'  tioa,  <irs  401  iave^ion  of  them  are  enrerlaatkt  ouhMis; 
liiBtre^s  BQtibni  left  for  you  to  do  with  thennbik  to  serve 
(hem  «•  Parson  Poesit  detailed  the  boxei'«— lay  right  held 
Ht  3em  .and  chuck  'em  over  the  fence,  waa  if  they  weiw 
a*  big  as  «tt  oat  doors.  That's  what  our  folks  auf^  t» 
hiyie  dene  wMh  'em  at  first,  inched  'oaa.  clean  oirtof  ^ 
s|M%  aiMl  1^  'on  go  down  to  Nova  Seotia^  or  seme  sudb 
outlandish  place,  for  they  aint  &  to  live  in  no  ChiistiaB 
country  at  all. 

Fitfhtin  is  no  w^y  to  make  convarte ;  like  irm  mijf  it  l# 
in*  Vsk  You  may  stop  a  man's  mo^.  Sua,  says  hpi 
bf  a  eramraiB  a  book  down  his  throat,  but  you  wont  con* 
viace  him.  It's  a  fine  thing  to  write  a  book  all 'coivered 
0mtm^  htldoi  and  Greek,  and  Hebrew,  like  a  hn^ 
IhitV^resi^jam,  all  spangled  with  brass  nafls^  but  who 
laKWra  wiiethsr  it's  right  or  ^i^rong  t  Why  net  one  in  t«» 
thomaiid.  If  I  had  my  religion  ta  choose,  and  w«ra!t  aUe 
to  judge  for  myself,  I'll  tell  you  whi^  I'd  do:  I'd- jist  tak 
li^mMwkQ  kad»  the  hut  meat  Now,  si^  he,  Saai» 
I  <WGUi*t  say  who  do,  because  it  would  todk  like  vamty  to 
say  it  was  the  folks  who  hdd  to  our  pla^wm,  bi^  I'll  tnii 
you  who  don't.  It  atfrf  ikem  Aat  ntdknike  gnatuiptih 
J^$akm  «lioaff  /  and  lund  what  I  tell  you,  Sam»  when 
y^  go  a  tnu&i  with  yoor  clocks  away  down  east  to  Noya 
KCQ^  ind  them  wilii  provinces,  keep  a  bright  look^Mit  on 
them  as  cant  too  much,  for  a  long  faee  is  plaguy  apt  te 
a  long  eeRsetaitf»— that's  a  »c^ 


'^^n^ 


'f<'    .'ii'i, 


■  -4 


\ 


I- 


CHAPTER  XXV. 


TAMING  A  •IIRIW. 


•  JI^.iomI  from  AaMwnt  to  Pamboio*  k  tadioiM  m^  . 
iiniiturprting.  In  i^aoes  it  is  made  ao  ttraifhtttlMt  yoa 
am  MS  Mvend  mUes  of  it  before  you,  whioltfWQduOM  all 
imeasimco  of  inlefminable  bngthi  whib  the  ■tttntod|pniiill 
of  llie  MfHruce  and  birch  trees  baiBpeaka  a  cold».  tiun  aoUi 
and  ittv«8ta  the  aoene  wkb  a  melanoholy  and  alMilA  aa|Mt» 
Hare  aad  tlipre  occtura  a  tittle  valley,  with  iiapinaaHdafini 
iNmuaijf'aad  verdant  «ui  fertile  inlervala»  wfaidi  >thoa|^ 
yipaMstiiC  aoAiag  peculiar  to  diatii^sttish  it  from  mmiiy 
Qthers  of  the  same  kmd,  strikes  the  traveller  aa  supericNr  to 
tiMMn  nU,  iram  the  contrast  to  the  sanoundmg  comnlry. 
jQlBe  of  these  seduded  spots  attracted  my  attentioty  fMHl 
the  nxuckst  and  neatneas  of  the  buildings  wUdi  its  |Mnii> 
imelorr  a  tanner  and  ouRisr,hadjerecled  ftnr  the  iNUrpoaai ' 
^hia  trade.  Mr<  SUck aaid,  be 4tilew  him* and  bnUMMad 
lit  was  m  pi^  he  eouddn't  lmq[»  \m  wife  in  as  gooid  ordes  ns 
!»  did  his  feetory.  They  deoH  hitch  their  honea  together 
«ilH  at  all.  He  is  prQ|»Brly  henpecked*  said  he{  he  is 
iAcM  to  call  his  soul  his.qwn,  and  he  leads  the  life  of <i 
iai^l  you  never  aeed  th^  beitf  of  it,  I  vo«r.  JM  yen  vmt 
•ee  m  reoaler  hiteh  a  broad  of  dnckens  t  Not.saidi,  W 
^t  I  can  raooUect.  Well,  then  I  have,  aaid  he,  and  if  h» 
donH  look  tike  a  fed  all  the  timeheiasettinon  theogg^ 
its  a  pitv;  no  soul  c6uld  helj^Urfintoseahim*  Qm^ 
nigger,  laaoary  Bnow,  had  .a  spite  aigia  one  of  iather%t 
IQoolera,  aeein  that  he  was  a  coward,  and  woolda't  firti 
Ma  naed  to  ci^  him  iPeurbomo,  arter  onr  QoMial  HMHt 
behaved  so  ugly  to  Canada :  and  says  he  onei^^  I  g^(M»\^ 
you  are  no  better  than  a  hen,  you  everlasting  old  chiicilDsn* 
hearted  villain,  and  PU  make  you  a  larfin  stock  to  all  |he 
poult]^.  I'll  put  a  trick  on  you  yoo*ll  bear  in  mind  all 
your  born  days.  So  he  catchi^  old  Dearborne,  and  pulls 
all  tue  feathers  off  his  breast,  and  strips  him  as  naked  aa. 
when  he  vaa  bom,  from  his  throat  clean  down  to  his  ta3f ; 


MS'V- 


hm 


tint  gran 
tduCMiii 

••AmMBg 

m  tumf 
nporkMrt* 
;  ooinMry. 
ie^t  fMHi 
li  M»  !»!»• 

JMiraOMM 


Qttr  flid 

eml  Oil 

chipken- 
to  aU  Ibe 
mind  all 
andpirils 
naked  aa. 
his  tail. 


^nd  then  takes  a  Inindle  of  nettlcw  and  glvM  Mm  •  proper 
a^iritohtn  tbpit  atung  hini«  and  made  him  tmAit  like  mad  | 
^n  he  warms  some  egga  and  puts  them  in  a  nest,  and  seto 
the  old  cock  right  a  tc^  of  *em.  Wellt  the  warmth  of  th« 
eggs  felt  good  to  the  poor  critter*s  naked  betlyi  and  kinder 
kept  the  itchin  of  the  nettles  down,  and  he  was  glad  to  bida 
where  he  was,  and  whenever  he  was  tired  and  got  oflT,  hia 
akin  felt  sa  cold,  he'd  run  right  back  and  aquat  down  udn, 
and  when  his  feathers  b^an  to  growj  and  ha  got  obamp* 
okwis^  he  got  another  ticklm  with  the  nettles,  that  made  him 
mtttm  double  quick  to  his  location.  In  a  little  time  he  lami 
the  trade  real  complete. 

Now,  this  John  Porter,  (and  there  he  is  on  the  bridge  t 
TOW,  I  never  seed  the  beat  o*  that,  speak  of  old  Saytin  and 
he*B  sure  to  appear ;)  well,  he's  jist  like  old  Dearborne,  onlY 
fit  to  hatch  eggs.    AVhon  he  came  to  the  bridge,  Mr.  Stick 
irtopped  his  horse,  to  shake  hands  with  Porter,  whom  h$ 
reeognized  as  an  old  acquaintance  and  eustomer.    He  en« 
MiisM  after  a  bark  mill  he  had  smusglad  iVom  the  Statai 
tor  binii  and  enlai^ed  on  the  value  of  such  a  maehlna,  and 
the  cleverness  of  his  countrymen  Who  invented  auob  useftil 
and  profitable  articles^  and  was  recommending  a  new  pro*' 
oess,  of  tanning,  when  a  female  voice  (from  the  house  wai 
heard,  vociferating,  *  John  Porter,  come  here  this  minute.* 
*  Coming,  my  dear,*  aead  the  husband.    *  Come  here,  I  sav^ 
(Mrectlv,  why  do  you  stand  talklns  to  that  yankee  villara 
there?    The  poor  husband  hung  hu  haad,  looked  silly, and 
bidding  us  sood  bye^  returned  slowly  to  the  house.    As  w« 
drove  on,  Mr.  Slick  said,  that  was  ma-~I'^  that.    Dicf 
what  t  said  I.    That  was  me  that  sent  him  back,  I  called 
htm  and  not  his  wife.    I  hadthiU  are  bestowmant  ever 
since  I  was  kiMe  hi{^  or  so ;  I'm  a  rael  oomplete  hand  ki 
Vei^loquism ;  I  can  take  off  any  man's  voice  1  ever  heard 
to  the  very  nines.    If  there  was  a  law  agin  fergin  that,  a* 
th»e  is  for  handwritin,  I  guess  I  should  Wo  been  hanged 
long  ago.    I've  had  high  goes  with  it  many  a  time,  but  it* 
pli«uy  daogersoipe,  and  I  dbnt  practise  it  now  but  seldom.  ' 
Ihad  a  real  bout  with  that  are  eitiaen's  wife  once,  and 
oon^ltBtely  brdke  her  in  for  him  i  she  went  as  gentie  as  m 
<^rous  horse  for  a  space,  but  he  lot  her  have  her  riead  agin, 
and  she's  as  bad  as  ever  now.    I'll  tell  you  how  'A  Waa^ 
12 


TUB  (RiPOKMJlKn* 

I  was  down  to  the  blaind  a  Mllin  clocks,  and  who  shoold 
l^meet  bat  Jolm  PWter ;  well,  I  traded  with  hhii  J^  dtti 
fMurt  cai^  part  truck,  and  ^ptodute,  and  also  put  off  on  K£ii 
Unlit  are  ))ark  mill  you  heerd  me  axin  about,  and  it  vr&t 
ptijtty  ccMudderaUe  on  in  the  e?enin  afore  we  finished  buf 
tnide.    I  came  home  along  with  him,  and  had  the  clock  ifi 
ftm  wagflon  to  fix  it  up  for  hini,  and  to  show  him  now  ii6 
fSgUatn  It.    Well,  as  we  neared  the  hcMise,  he  began  fo  ftiit 
amrake  on  direadilil  onoasy ;  Bkya  he,  I  hope  Jane  ifont  hd 
•Mid,  cause  if  abe  is  sheMl  act  ugly,  I  do  suppose.    I  ha^ 
heerd  tell  of  her  afore ;  how  she  used  to  cariy  a  stiff  tmpdr 
lip,  and  make  him  and  the  broomstick  weH  acquauled' 
i>gefher ;  and,  says  I,  why  do  you  put  up  wi^  h&t  tan- 
lanims,  Pd  maire  a  foir  division  of  the  house  with  her,  u  it 
WM  me,  I*d  take  the  inride  and  alhicate  her  the  outside  of  it 
nretty  mick,  that's  a  fkd*    Well,  when  we  cauooe  to  thb 
kouse,  nwre  was  no  l%ht  in  it,  and  the  pobr  critter  look^ 
•o  streaked  and  down  in  the  mouth,  I  fell  prmier  sonrt  for 
Mm.    When  he  rapped  at  tiie  door,  Ate  called  out,  Wh6*i 
(hero  ?  If  s  me,  dear,  says  Porter.  You,  is  it,  said  she,  ]di^ 
^jntrn  ma^  stay  where  .you  be,  them  as  ffare  you  ytwr  sapmt, 
inay  give  you  vour  bed,  kntead  or  senmn  joa  aneMun 
iMne  at  night  hke  a  thief.    Said  I,  in  a  whimper,  sayt  I;,, 
Lsftvc  h^  to  me,  John  Porter-nist  take  the  horsies  up  tb 
ffiaiiani,  aid  see  arter  them,  and  Tfl  mttiage  her  for  you, 
PHiMitke  her  as  sweet  as  sugary  cand^nevisr  ibtr.    Thb 
iani  you  see  is  a  good  piece  oflTthe  eaifward  ofms  house; 
Itadd  as  soon  as  1^  was  clevei^  out  of  heibiii,  says  I,  a 
hmfatui  of  his  voice  to  the  life.  Do  let  me  ^,  liune,  wyitt 
ttai's  a  dear  critter,  Pve  biroiight  you  home  some  thlfiif^ 
jtmll  like,  I  know.  Well,  she  wai  an  awfol  jealdbs  cxit^t ; 
Ipayi  j^  Take  em  to  her  you  spout  the  eveun  with,!  doiiH 
I  .£_^  you  nor  your  presents  neS^ier.    Arter  a  good  d^t  of 
udn  I  stood  on  the  tother  tack,  and  began  to  threa^h  to 
ail  the  door  "^lown ;  says  I,  You  old  UnhaiiBum  took&i 
ler^  yeu  vinerger  cruet  you,  open  the  door  this  minit  or 
1*11  smash  it  right  ifa.    That  grigged  her  property,  it  made 
ker  vary  wre^y  {fbt  nothin  sets  up  a  woman's  spunk  like 
Fedlin  hnr  uji^yf  she  gets  her  faadk  right  up  19te  a  cat  w|en 
ra  strange  dog  ooihes  neAr  her;  sh^s  all  eyes,  craws' aioid 
*hristhS  ' 


^. 


vAMma  A  innaw, 


sateh  fo  < 
tookii  ^ 
ninit  cir 
it  made 
ink  like    ' 


ijl  Iwecd  bar  bouooe  ngbl  eot  of  bed,  and  sbe  cwne  to  the 
door  ••  she  wm».  ondraiwed,  randonbolltd  it ;  aad  ••  i^eii» 
tefed  Ut  sbe  ietcfaed  me  a  box  riglil  acroM  my  choek  witk 
tLt)  flat  of  her  band*  that  made  it  tiagle  agin.  VU  teapb 
yotf  to  eall  names  agin,  aaya  abe*  you  Tarmint.  It  waa  jiat 
^hat  I  wanted;  I  pushed  the  door  tu  with  my  fcot,  and 
seisin  her  by  the  arm  with  <me  hand,  I  ouilted  ber  with  tba 
botsewbip  real  handsvm  with  the  otiier.  At  fint  sbi 
xoaied  tike  mad;  Pll  give  you  the  ten  oommandnAta, 
•ays  she  (meanuig  her  ten  .claws),  TU  pay  you  for  this,  ye« 
cowardly  villain,  to  strike  a  woman.  How  dare  you  lift 
yotM*  band,  Jk>bn  Pmrter,  to  your  kwful  wife,  nnd  m>  ob( 
all  the  lime  ru^^in  round  and  round,  like  a  odt  th«t%f 
brealyn,  with  the  mouthin  bit,  rarein,  kiokin,  and  j^ungin 
tike  statiee.  Then  she  began  to  give  in.  Says  ua, 
I  b^  pardon,  on  my  knees  I  beg  pardon**-doa't  mui> 
der  me,  for  Heaven's  sake-^an*t  dear  John,  don't  murdet 
your  poor  wife,  that's  a  dear,  I'll  do  as  you  bid  me,  I  prqp 
laiselp  behave  wdl,  upon  my  honour  I  do— <^  1  dear  Jeboi 
do  forgive  me,  do  dear.  When  I  had  her  properly  broUf^ 
t()o,  for  havin  nothin  on  but  a  thin  under  ferment  every 
erack  of  the  whip  told  like  a  notch  on  a  baker's  tidly ;  laya 
I,  take  that  as  a  taste  of  what  youll  cateh,  when  you  aot 
that  way  like  old  Scratch.  Now  go  and  dress  youKMtlt 
and  get  mippet  for  me  aad  a  Granger  I  have  bnn^ht  home 
aloBg  with  me,  and  be  quack,  for  I  vow  III  be  master  m 
my  own  bouse.  Sh^  moaned  like  a  d(^  hit  vntb  a  ^one, 
Ittdf  whine,  hidf  yelp ;  dear,  dear,  says  she,  if  I  aint  i^ 
covered  over  with  welts  as  big  as  my  finger,  I  do  beUeve 
Fm  flayed  alive ;  and  she  boohood  riglrt  out  Uke  any  thii^ 
1  guess,  said  I,  you've  got  *em  where  foUca  wont  see  'em* 
«iy  how,  anwl  I  calculate  you  won't  be  over  forrard  to  sh»|r 
*<Mn  whoe  they  be.  Bert  comei  says  I,  be  a  sdrrin,  or  I^ 
mall  you  agpn  aa  sure  as  you're  alive— I'll  tan  your  hide 
for  ycMi,  you  may  depend,  yon  old  uagaiidy  tempered 
heifer^ou. 

When  I  went  to  the  bam,  says  I,  ^obn  P(»ter,  your  wife 
made  right  at  me,  like  one  ravin  distracted  mad,  wh^at^I 
op^ied  the  door,  thinking  it  was  you ;  «nd  I  was  oUiffed  to 
ffiVe  l»er  a  crack  or  two  of  the  cowskia  to  get  clear  of  her. 
ft  has  efl^tuated  a  cure  completely ;  nowfoller  it  up,  and 


dbu*t  let  on  ^r  your  life  it  wamH  you  that  did  it,  and 
youll  be  master  mice  more  in  your  own  house*  She*s  ail 
oooity  jist  now,  keep  her  so.  As  we  returned  we  saw  a 
light  in  the  keepin  room,  the  fire  wlu  Uazin  up  cheerAil** 
some,  and  Marm  Porter  moved  about  as  brisk  as  a  parched 
pea,  though  as  silent  as  duiq|>,  and  ovfr  supper  was  ready 
m  no  time.  As  soon  as  she  took  her  seat  and  sot  down, 
dhe  sprung  r^ht  up  on  eend'^  as  if  she  sot  on  a  pan  '<^  hot 
aodk,  and  coloured  ail  over ;  and  then  tears  started  in  her 
eyes.  Thinks  I  to  myself,  I  calculate  I  wrote  tlMt  ar§ 
tMson  in  large  letters  any  how,  I  read  that  writin  without 
spellia,  and  no  mistake;  i  guess  you've  got  pretty  well 
warmed  thereabouts  this  hitch.  Then  she  tried  |t  againjr 
first  d^  sot  on  one  leg,  then  on  the  tother,  quite  oneasy, 
fMid  thoB  right  atwixt  both,  a  fidgettin  about  dreadAiHyi 
like  a  matt  that's  rode  all  day  on  a  bad  saddle,  and  kwt  a 
Uttb  leather  oa  the  way.  If  you  had  seed  how  she  stated 
ail  Pcnrter,  it  would  have  made  you  snicker.  Sheoould*nt 
cfedit  her  eyes.  He  wamH  drunk,  and  he  wanft  eratyi 
hiiit  there  he  sot  as  peeked  and  as  meechin  as  you  pkAse^ 
She  seemed  all  struck  up  of  a  heap  at  his  reb^Iion.  Thii 
liezt  day  when  I  was  alxmt  startin,  I  adviscMi  him  to  act 
Ufce  a  man»  and  keq»  the  weather  gage  now  he  had  it,  and 
all  Would  be  well ;  but  the  poor  critter  only  held  on  a  day 
c»  two,  she  soon  got  the  upper  hand  of  him,  and  made  1^ 
oonfess  all,  and  by  all  accoui^ts  he  leade  a  worse  Ufe  no# 
Uiao  ever.  I  put  that  hre  trick  on  him  jist  to  try  Mm,  imd 
I  see  its  gome  goose  with  him ;  the  jig  i»up  with  him,  she^^ 
seoD  call  him.  .with  a  whistle  like^a  dog,  I  often  think  d# 
the  homjMpe  she  danced  there  in  the  disrk  alcmg  with  ine  to 
the  music  of  my  whip—she  touched  it  off  in  great  style, 
&M*s  a  ^t4  I  shall  mind  that  go  one  white,  I  promise 
yoli.  It  was  actilly  equal  4o  a  play  at  old  Bowvy.  Yon 
may  depend,  Squire,  t^  only  way  to  tame  a  shrew  h  h^ 
the  oowskin*  Grand&ther  Slick  was  raised  all  along  thdi 
coast  of  Kent  in  old  Ehigland,  and  he  used  to  say  there  iMur 
an  old  sayi^  there,  which,  I  expect,  is  not  fkr  6IP  Hie 
dfuork; 

<  A  WMBM,  B^Ogt  Had  a  WllBOttlMr, 

Tbe  siora  yoa  lick '•m  tbe  better  dwy !».' 


■>fr 


iroo. 


CHAPTEA  XXVI. 


,.j3Bt»  MIl^n'SR'8  HORN  MUa 


.  Tan  country,  stid  Mr.  Slick,  abounds  in  •uperior  miU 
pnvilegea,  and  one  would  nataniUy  oUoulate  that  tuqk  • 
aif^t  of  water  power  would  have  led  to  a  k&owledga  of 
madunMy.  I  gueaa  if  a  blue-noae  waa  to  flo  to  one  rn'ouf 
i)(e»and  enligbtoaed  eitizene,  and  tell  him  mva  Scotia  wpa^ 
iirteneeted  with  rivera  and  brooka  in  al)  directions,  aip^^ 
nearly  erne  quarter  <^  it  covered  witb  water,  be'd  eay,  weM 
1?U  atari  right  off  and  see  it,  I  vow,  for  I  guess  ill  1^ 
aomethin.  I  allot  I'll  get  another  wrinkle  away  down  es#, 
there.  With  suck  s^endid  chances  for  expenmeotin,  what 
fint«cbqp  nHils  they  must  have,  to  a  sartaint^.  I'll  sa» 
anohaew  corahinatkHM,  and  such  new  applieadoas  of  tha 
fgpoe  of  watM  to  motion,  that  1*11  make  my  ibrtin,  fiur  w« 
can  improva  ot^  Any  thing  amoit.  WeU,  he'd  find  his  mii' 
take  out,  I  guess,  as  I  did  once,  when  I  took  passage  in  tha 
nifi^  at  New  York  for  Providence,  and  found  myself  the 
■ast  mmnin  clean  out  to  sea,  steerin  awav  for  Cape  Hatte* 
laa,  ia  the  Charleston  steamer.  He'd  find  he'd  gone  ta  thfi 
wxoatg  place,  I  reckon;  there  aint  a  mill  of  any  kind  in  |ha 
province  fit  to  be  seen*  If  we  bad  'em,  we'd  serve  *em  aa 
we  do  the  gamblin  houses  down  souths  jpidi  'em  right 
dowi^  there  wouMn'|  be  one  on  'em  left  in  eight  and  forty^ 
hours. 

Some  domestic  fiMtoiiea ^ley  ou|^t  U>  have  here:  it's  an 
easeitfial  pah  of  the  social  system*  Now  ve've  |ua  to  this 
other  eCtiemerits  got  to  be  too^  an  iateiest  w|ui  vs,  and 
aM  suited  to  the  political  institulttQas  of  our  gte^  xfiumtey* 
Natur  designed  ua  Rmt  an  agricultund  peq;>le,  aiwl  oui' 
govormnei^  was  j^nedicated  on  the  wipposition  that  we 
frould  be  so.  llr.  HopeweU  was  of  the  sas»e  <^>ioio9t 
He  was  a  great  hand  at  gardenin,  orchardin,  fimaun,  am| 
Vhat  not  One  eveom  I  was  up  to  his  bouse,^  and  says  he, 
Sam,  what  do  you  say  to  a  bottle  of  my  old  aeauine  cider, 
lfu«a  Igot  soma  that  will  taka  tha  shios  oif  your  ihthai*i 
18* 


i 


]v9 


-iirtf 


hf  •  long  ehalk,  muoh  as  the  old  gentleman  bran  of  hii*it 
-^I  never  bring  it  out  afore  him.  He  thinki  he  has  the 
best  in  all  Connecticut.  It*s  an  innocent  ambition  that ;  an4 
Sun,  it  would  be  but  a  poor  thing  for  me  to  gratify  my 
pride,  at  the  expeniw  of  humblin  his'n.  So  I  never  lets  on 
thpkt  I  have  any  belter,  butvkaoD  daris  aboHt  this  superfine 
particular  article  of  mine,  for  rd  as  lives  he'd  think  so  as 
not.  He  was  a  real  primilive  good  man  vras  minisfor.  I 
got'somey  said  he,  thiU  was  bottted  that  very  year  that  glo. 
rious  adtionVas  fought  atween  the  Constitution  and  the 
Ouerriere.  Peibaps  the  whole  world  couldn't  showsudi 
a  Inilliant  whiroin  as  that  was.  It  was  a  splendid  deed, 
^mU's  a  &ct.  The  British  can  whip  the  whole  airth,  and 
^Can  whip  the  British.  It  was  a  bright  promise  tor  our 
iPtog  eagle,  a  noUe  bird  that,  too;  great  streiq;th,  gnoal 
cNMirage,  and  surpassing  sagacity. 

Well,  he  wont  down  to  the  cellar,  and  brought  up  a  bot^ 
tie*  with  a  stick  tied  to  its  neck,*  and  day  and  date  to  it, 
like  the  lye-bills  on  the  trees  in  Squire  Hendrick's  ganrdoD. 
I  tike  to  see  them  are  cobwebs,  says  he,  as  he  lmished< 
^»m  off,  they  are  like  grey  hairs  in  an  old  manVi  head, 
they  indicate  venerable  old  age.  As  he  uncorked  it,  aayn 
he,  I  guess,  Sam,  this  will  warm  your  giazard,  my  boy;  I 
guess  our  great  nation  may  be  «tumped  lo  produce  more 
ek^Hmter  liquor  than  this  bore.  It's  the  duidy,  that's  a 
fliet  That,  said  he,  a  tmackin  his  lq»s,  and  loc^n  at  its 
^parklin  top,  and  layin  badk  his  head^  uid  tippin  off  a  honr 
mug  brim  foU  of  it-— that  said  he--«nd  his  eyes  twinkled 
agin,  for-it  was  ^aguy  strong-— that  is  the  produce  of  ray- 
own  orchard.  Well,  I  said,  minister,  says  I,  I  never  see 
you  a  smgfpxk  h  out  of  that  are  horn  mug,  that  I  dmi't 
think  o%ne  of  your  te^.  What^s  that,  Sam?  says' he 
-iitfor  you  always  had  a  mast  a  special  memory  when  you 
wwiibov;  why,  says  I,  *that  the  horn  of  tlw  rif^teooi^ 
man  shall  be  eudted,'  I  guess  that's  what  they  mean  bf 
*ex|dt«i  the  horn,'  unt  it  ?  Lord,  if  ever  ^ou  was  to  New 
OrleMS,  and  seed  a  black  thunder  cloud  nse  right  up  and 
C^verthe  whc^e  sky  in  a  miait,  you'd  a  thought  of  it  if  yoU 
had  seed  his  foce.  It  looked  as  dark  a&  Egypt.  For  shamer' 
Blys  hOft  Sam,  that's  ondecent;  and  let  rae  tell  you  that  # 
Hian  that  jdces  on  such  subjects,  shows  both  a  lack  of  wit 


t 

] 

« 

I 

€ 

i 

I 


TBB  MKiaVBR'a  HOMT  HVO. 


ia» 


wild  fleBM  tooi    I  like  niirth«  you  .know  I  do,  for  hVi  oidy 


tiie  Pharisees  and  hypocrites  that  -weai  long  ikces»  but  then 
mirth  must  be  innocent  to  please  ne ;  and  when  I  mti  a 
man  make  merry  with  serious  things,  I  set  him  down  as  a 
lost  sheep.  That  comes  of  your  speculation  to  Lowell ; 
and,  I  vow,  them  fkctorin  towns  will  corrupt  our  youth  oS 
both  sexes,  and  become  hotbeds  of  iniquity.  Evil  bommi> 
aicationi'  endamnify  good  mimners,  as  sure  as  rates ;  one 
scatoy  sheep  will  iniect  a  whole  flock— vice  is  as  catehin 
as  that  nas^  disease  the  Scotch  have,  its  got  by  shakin 
hands,  and  both  eend  in  the  same  way — ^in  brimstone.  I 
approbate  domestic  fkctories,  but  nothin  ibrther  for  us.  It 
doB*t  suit  us  or  our  instituticms.  A  republic  is  only  calcu- 
lated for  an  enlightened  and  vartuous  people,  and  fdka 
diieflv  in  the  farmin  line.  Thkt  is  an  innocent  and  a  happjr 
vocation.  Agriculture  was  ordained  by  Him  ^M  made  ua, 
Imp  our  ehief  occ  ipation. 

Tliinks  I,  here's  a  pretty  how  do  you  do;  Fm  in  finr 
it  now,  that's  a  fhct ;  he*U  jist  &11  to  and  read  a  regular 
iarmon,  and,  he  knows  so  many  by  heart  he'll  never  stop. 
It  would  take  a  Philadelphia  lawyer  to  answer  him.  So, 
aays  I,  Minister,  I  ax  your  pardon,  I  feel  very  ugly  at  havin 
piven  you  oflfence,  but  I  didn't  mean  it,  I  do  assure  yoik 
h  jist  po^  odt  unexpectedly,  like  a  cork  out  of  one  of  them 
■re  cider  bottles.  I'll  do  my  possibles  that  the  like  don't 
happen  agin,  yoa  may  depend ;  so  'spose  we  drink  a  glasa 
to  our  reccmciliation.  That  I  will,  said  he,  and  we  will 
have  another  bottle  too,  but  I  must  put  a  little  water  into 
mijf  ghui,  (and  he  dwelt  on  that  word,  and  looked  at  me 
^ite  feelin,  as  much  as  to  say,  don't  for  goodness  sake 
make  use  of  that  are  word  Aorn  agin,  for  its  a  joke  I  doa*t 
like,)  for  my  head  hante  quite  the  strength  my^ler  has. 
Taste  this,  Sam,  said  he,  (c^ieBita  of  another  bottle,)  its  of 
the  same  age  as  the  last,  but  made  of  different  apples,  and 
I  am  foirly  stumped  somedmes  to  say  which  is  best. 

These  are  the  pleasures,  says  he,  of  a  country  lifo.  A 
man's  own  kibor  provides  him  with  food,  and  an  appetite  to 
flnj<nr  it.  Let  him  look  which  way  he  will,  and  he  sees  the 
goodn^s  and  bounty,  of  his  Creator,  in.  his  wisdom,  his 
power,  and  his  majesty.  There  never  was  anything  so 
tloe,  as  that  are  old  sayin,  *  man  made  the  town,  but  God 


ilMde  'the  eoiMlry,*  u4  both  betpeek  their  diflereot  arohi* 
leete itt tBroM  too  pleuilo  be  mieuadentood.    The  one ie 
fiMed  with  Tiftue  end  the  other  with  vice..  One  ie  the  ebede 
of  pleaty,  mad  the  other  of  went )  one  ie  e  we|»duch  m 
■iee  pare  wnter    end  tother  one  e  oeee-pool.    Our  toirpi 
•re  gettin  eo  eommeroiei  end  ihotoring,  thet  they  will  eoon. 
MMwle  mobe,  Sem*  (how  true  thet  are  hee  turned  out, 
aaant  itY    He  could  eee  near  about  as  fiir  into  a  miU-etoqe 
aa^Mmthat  picka  the  hole  iaito  it,)  and  laobe  will  introduce 
dieobedieaoe  aad  defience  to  lawe,  and  that  nuiet  eend  in 
anarchy  and  Uoodehed.    No,  laid  the  old  man,  raiainf  hie 
Toioe,  and  giving  the  table  a  wipe  with  hie  fiet  that  nuule 
the  ^eeeee  all  jingle  agin,  (rire  me  the  country ;  that  coun- 
try to  which  he  that  made  it  said,  **  Bring  forth  graee,  the 
hnrb  yieldin  teed,  and  the  tree  ^ieldin  fruit,"  tmawkm  mm 
it  thai  it  iMW  good.    Let  me  jme  with  the  feathered  tribe 
in  the  momin,  (I  hope  you  get  up  airly  now,  Sam ;  whan 
fotk  wee  a  boy  thnre  wae  no  gittm  you  out  of  bed  at  no 
lifte,)  and  at  aun-eet,  in  the  hymne  which  they  utter  in  AiU 
tide  of  aong  to  tlmr  CreatcMr.    Let  me  ppur  out  the  thanks 
ihlneM  of  my  heart  to  the  Giver  of  all  good  things,  lor  the 
aoraerous  blessinge  I  eajoy,  and  intreat  him  to  bleee  my  in- 
eeease,  that  I  may  have  wherewithid  to  relieve  the  wante 
«f  others,  ae  he  prevents  and  relievee  mine*    No  t  give  me 
the  eoaatrf.   Its  — — -  Minister  was  jtst  like  a  horse 
4iat  has  UM  spavin ;  he  sot  off  considerable  stiff  at  finrt, 
tut  when  he  once  got  under  way,  be  got  on  like  a  house:|L 
Arb.    He  went  like  the  wind  fiill  split.  { 

He  was  jus  beginnin  to  warm  <m  the  subject,  and  J  knifliF 
if  he  did,  what  wonderful  bottom  he  had ;  how  be  woi^ 
bang  cm  fer  ever  amost ;  so  says  I,  I  think  eo  too  wiaietar, 
^l  Kke  1|||country,I  always  sleep  better  there  than  in  towns; 
it  tante  so  ^guy  hot,  nor  eo  noisy  neither,  and  Chen  it^s  n 
jptaisant  thm^  to  art  out  on  Ike  stoop  and  smoke  in  the  ceiid^ 
aint  itY  I  thidi,  aays  I,  too,  Bfinister,  thi^  are  uneommo^ 
kandbum  dkier  of  yoa.m  deearves  a  pipe,  what  do  you  think  ? 
Wdir  01^  he,  I  think  myedf  a  pipe  wouldn't  be  aeues,  aad 
1  got  senae  neH  good  Varginy,  aa  you  een  araoat  ever  seadv^^a 
present  from  Rowland  Rimciolp^  an  old  coUe^  cluim;  aild 
ototM  tile  worse  to  my  palate,  Sam,  fiur  Imngin  b;^-gefif 
■aroHetftieiia  wHh  it    IHuabe,  my  dear,  said  he,  to  hw  itoff^. 


.  1 


d 
k 

h 

CI 
01 

tl 


THB  WVim*!  HOIIV  HUO. 


Ul 


lar,  fartiig  the  pipes  iBd  tebeoeo.  Am  sooa  m  the  old  Mi* 
tleoMin  mirly  got «  pipe  in  hie  mouth,  I  give  Phosbe  e  wvnh. 
ie  ■Nioh  «B  to  Kv,  warnt  that  well  done.  That*B  what  1 
call  a  moet  particular  handsum  fix.  He  can  lolir  bow, 
(and  that  /  do  lUw  to  hear  him  do,)  hut  he  can*t  makoa 
•peechj  or  preach  a  eannon,  and  that  /  dm^t  Uk§  to  hear 
,  mm  do^  except  on  Sabbath  day,  or  up  to  Town  Hall,  <m 
MtttioB  times. 

Minister  wee  an  unoommou  pleasant  man,  (tot  theei 
wae  nothin  amoit  he  didn't  know,)  except  whoi  ne  got  his 
dander  up,  and  then  he  did  epin  out  his  jams  Su  eveiw 
listinly. 

\  \  But  Pm  of  his  opinion.    If  the  folks  here  want  their 

eoontry  to  go  ahead,  they  roust  honour  the  plough,  and 
General  Campbell  ought  to  hammer  that  are  into  tlmr  nod» 
dies,  ftill  chisel,  as  hard  as  he  can  drive.  I  oould  lam 
him  somethin,  I  guess,  about  hammerin  he  aint  up  to.  It 
tanto  every  (me  that  knows  how  to  beal  a  thing  into  a 
man's  heed.  How  could  I  have  sold  so  many  thousand 
docks,  if  I  hadn't  had  that  nack.  Why,  I  wouldn't  have 
•old  half  a  dozen,  you  may  depend.  > 

Agriculture  is  not  only  neglected  but  degraded  herei 
What  a  number  of  young  folks  there  seem  to  be  in  theee 
.  parts,  a  ridin  about,  titivated  out  real  jam,  in  their  aotoii 
aseetin  ctothes,  a  doin  nothin.  It's  melancholy,  to  think  on 
.  tt.  That's  the  efiect  of  the  last  war.  The  idlenees  and 
ttctravagance  of  those  times  took  root,  and  bore  fruit  abun* 
dantly,  and  now  the  yoan^  people  are  above  their  business. 
ThtV  are  too  high  in  (he  mstep,  that'f  a  fact. 

Old  Drivvte,  down  here  to  M accan,  sud  to  roe  one  day« 
For  gracious  sake,*  says  he,  Mr.  Sfick,  do  tell  me  what  I 
shan  do  with  Johnny.  His  mother  eets  great  #Bre  by 
him,  and  thinks  he's  the  makins  of  a  coiuideraUe  ssMirC 
ffian-^'s  growln  up  tul  now,  and  I  am  pretty  well  to 
do  in  the  woHd,  and  reasonable  fordbanded,  but  I  dont 
know  what  th»  dogs  to  put  him  to.  The  Lawyers  are 
Kfce  flqpidem,  they've  eat  up  all  the  flies,  and  I  guess  they'll 
have  to  eat  each  other  soon,  for  there's  more  on  'em  thaii 
causes  now  every  court.  The  Doctors'  trade  is  a  poor 
01)^  too,  they  don't  get  barely  cash  enough  to  pay  foe 
^Nsif  medicines;  I  never  seed  a  country  practitioner  yel 


.    ■; 


T^^^ 


JM  HIM*  My  iliiM  w«rHi  tiNnlriii  of.  'S^  m  4k 
pmrnif  Wky  chufil  tmd  ^IgieatetB'  am  {vrstt^  ^Midii ' 
iMiiil  wwk  IM  iMM  tMif  ^y  livt  Ja  the  •wM^'pislMr 
viHi  tiiiir  llMkii  Alii,  MiiMii  *«mv  kV  M  down  ptfsmr 
il«iNi  I  tiH  ami*  WliAt  fwuld  yoa  aM^  iMF  to  <|o  ivilii 
Km?  W«B,  MM  Ir4*tt  ttti  yon  if  y«»  ifMi*t  be  nOUft 
milk  m9»  Miiy  with  ytta  todewl,  smd  he,  I  gveM 
I*U  b» rtry  Riuoli  dbUfid  to  you;  it  tante  every  dky  ene 
pitm •)!•»«•  (•  0OBMIM  wMi  A  penon  of  your  exp«i«biioe 
•w4  Mmt  it  tatillt  *  pfilftligs  to  have  the  opinien  of  seeli 
•A  vilitfilAMlli  jAw  «§  ytA  he.    WelK  Miys  I,  take^-A 


^tiek  And  |iy§  him 


si  good  quiltin. 


hiiA 


w  .  .  .  't  tantuae 
Ulw  hlAlifrAlMl  i8l  him  to  work^-^What'does  the  efHter 
WAiit  T  yott  bAi«  A  good  ihffii  for  him,  let  him  go  and  aim 
Ml  hfiAdf  Alld  whm  hA  AAii  false  that,  let  him  get  a  wife 
tojMiiA  bttltif  Ibr  Ml  Afid  whAS  he  has  mora  of  both  tfaaii 
be  WAiitfy  lit  Mm  aiU  *iiii  Atid  lay  up  hia  money,  and  he 
wiU  AAOB  km§  hit  JbigAd  buttered  on  both  sidecH-put  him. 
lOi  eh)  wter  put  him  to  the  Plowoh,  tile  moie  natmi^ 
Hi  mtt$  mm*  i^  MMt  JAAtfawtt,  amd  the  moat  AeoMlf 
MipliMfmifil  1»  IA«  tf0rfll«  Bttt,^  said  the  old  man  (and 
ha  did  not  IaaIi  ovat  hAlf  pleased)  marrkets  Are  eo  eon* 
tbondid  dtdly  Uiboar  lo  bigb«  Aikl  the  banks  and  great  ibHkl 
i  AATAtttfill  aU  ttp  Mf  thiPi  don't  aeem  mueh  enebilfittai- 
mAAt  Hr  iuniiAfif  ilt  hAfd  mbbiorndw^day^  tolivehy 
i|M»  olowgll— hAl)  bA  «  hAfd  WAfkin  poor  man  all  hie  dayii 
Qbf  AAyA  If  if  hA  waiHa  to  fit  rinh  by  fennio»  hAcan  di 
thAt  tAA»  LAt  fei»  iiti  hiA  whear^  and  eat  hii^  oAtaMi 
And  ryAi  lAiid  hit  btg^  nMmoA,  And  ponHry  to  mnttefet^ 
Aod  9At  hii  pAflf  And  potoiAfls,  make  hi»  own  doth^  w«ava 
kif  owA  iiiwiif  And  kiAp  out  ef  shope,  and  he*ll  soon  gN»# 
iielh— Haia'  AfA  nwiA  ibfl^  got  by  saviK  than  by  maUii^ 
mp,  A  plAfliy  tii^lt— hA  AAtit  eat  his  cake  and  hafef^ittMi 


mill*ii  A  MAt.  iir#«  AmAw  «  /ifHM0»  ijf  Um^  and  pen  wm 
Urn  fht  mH^futim  ^  ttmg  ^im  anhmlgat,  oa  MfMii 
mfm,  md  •  rupietam  'miimef  of  toeietf  mmre  Mttm 
immihfdin,  amv  Ui4tmd^  tkan  fr^femUtml  mm,  mii 
mmm  ntp90MU  iktm  tUktp.  ■^'^ 

Ahem  I  iAf •  HsfrnP^iffki  and  she  began  to  dear  hfl# 
HlKNit  ft»r  aaNaii  f  ihA  itumped  down  her  nittin,  and  elaweid 
Alf  hAT  ip96tAAiAi^  Alld  lAok«d  ftght  straight  at  me^  so  aa^ 


\\ 


I 

4 

i 
I 
t 
I 
i 

i 
f 
J 

3 

t 

« 
i 

% 

c 
a 
h 
n 


'''4 


HNnli 


ntonoB 
mm 

I  um 
ft  wife 
I  thmi 
nd  he 
It  Mm. 


I  (and 

r  eon- 

fe»ki 

dd 


w 


•|ak9.foodiAl|(n.  lM0d«i«gidariiorireilerttbriiiii,I1iMir 
JUkjmuM  butt  Mnswlmte  tairtaii,  and  make  idl  aindto  agiii, 
M^lctelMwd  «iit  «ni  left  otd  Dfiftle  to  stand  the  atfiM, 
I  Moeeit  he  oMis^beve  had  a  temiiestical  tkne  vfit,  for  dw 
illid  got  lier  Ebeobaer  up,  aad.  looked  like  a  propwr  sneezefi 
liiake her  Jk^ny  a  fiurmer,  dit  I  gueas  that  was  too  moeh 
for  1^  like  o*  ha  to  stomach* 

Mie,  Sfmre,  continued  the  Cloekmaker,  (with  such 
an  air  of  coacem,  that,  I  verily  believe,  the  man  feels  im 
intweet  m  die  welfers  ofa  Provinoe,  in  whieh  he  has  spent 
io  hxig  a  tittle,)  iVMfe,  fiSjvire,  and  «  faim  pHdey  t9^t 
iiike  mm  cf  tki$  eouatrif^  i  kojft  I  May  he  tkiunedifit 


CHAPTER  XXVII. 


THE  WHITE  NIGGER. 


OiiB  of  the  most  amiable,  and  at  the  same  time  motC 
amming  traits,  in  the  Clockmaker*«  character,  was  the 
atrtM>hment  and  kindness  wi^  wbidi  he  rMarded  his  horse. 
I  1^  ooMiderad  *  Old  Clay*  as.fiur  above  a  Provmcial  hwM| 

i  aa  he  did  tme  of  Ins  *  free  and  enlightened  citiaens'saperi<Mf 

1  10  a  Uue'-noee.    He  treated  Inm  as  a  travelling  oonUpcmioflt 

and  when  oonversation  ftigged  between  us,  would  ofteli 
•otyoquise  to  lum,  a  halM^  contracted  firom  pursuing  hfai 
Joomeya  alone.  Well  now,  he  would  say,  *  CHd  day,*  I 
I^NMS  you  took  your  Ume  agoin  up  that  are  l^l-^-e'poile  we 
j^ragresa  now.  Gio  along,  you  c^  sculpin,  and  Hun  cuA 
imir  toes.  I  reckon  you  are  as  deff  as  a  shad,  <k>  your  hewi 
Hkvre  ^  go  ahead,  Old  Clay/  There  now,  he'd  ray,  Squirt^ 
aiat  that  dreadfiil  pretty  T  There's  action.  Tint  looki 
iJbftut  ri^l^egs  ail  under  him-— ga&eta  all  up  snug — ^no 
liabbia  oi^l^  hMd—- no  rolUn  of  hw  shouktenH->no  wabblin 
of  his  hind  parts,  but  steady  as  a  pump  bidt,  hnd  the  motion 
aU  undonaeatb.  When  he  feirly  lays  himself  to  it,  he  trots 
like  aU  vengmnee.  Then  look  at  his  ears,  jist  like  rabbits^ 
Wi^m  i^  yotif  flop  ears  lilrai  thenti  Amherst  beairts,  half  homet; 


1 


:i 


.\i 


v%iSiJ^hi4  9iitAt  up  ttiicl  pltifited^,  ftikl  iMi^tdo  liei^iit 

fftrt^f  fi>i>  tficit  ari»i  i  concait,  Always  uhmn  ir'fbife 

ifirt  true  to  draw.     71«M»  are  oMy  two  tking§i'8i^it^, 

»^Nnft  lookin  ni  in  M  kone,  axstim  ani  mmAttbiJW '1 

iPAwr  Mv  o  (T^tef  tAaf  Aod^ood  aelfon  ih«t  «iu  a  tiK 

:^4«Ml.    Old  Cii^  puts  me  iii  mind  of  one  of  CfUt  ftee  lii 

injiffhtened .  '        ^* 

>'  ]&euse  me,  said  Ij  Mr.  Slick,  but  really  yoB  apjMKtotiate 
i^at  word  *  flree*  to  your  countrymen,  as  if  yMi  tttoc^jiflit  iio 
odmr  peo{^  in^:the  world  were  entitled  to  it  iHii  younetflM. 
.  ffmthor  ^ey  be,  said  he.  Wb  first  sdt  the  etiunple.  Lodk 
•M  our  declaration  of  ind^ndence.  Ft  was  writ  by  ^60^- 
■on,  and  he  was  the  first  man  of  the^age,  perhaps  the'#0k1d 
nearer  seed  his  ditto.  It*s  a  beautifol  piece  of  penmansUp 
that,  he  gave  the  British  the  butt  eend  of  his  mind  theite. 
I  calculate  you  couldn't  fait  it  initio  particular,  it's  generally 
dHowed  to  be  his  cap  shief.  In  the  first  page  of  it,  secoild 
section,  and  first  varse,  are  t>»se  words,  *We  hold  this 
truth  to  be  self-evident,  that  all  men  are  created  equal.'  I 
guess  King  Gieorge  turned  his  quid  when  he  read  that.  It 
was  somethin  to  chaw  <hi,  he  hadn't  Been  used  to  the  fiKv6r 
f;ireckon«-  ^-  ^^^'''■^  ' 

Jeflferson  fcnrgot  to  insert  one  little  word,  si^  I,  he  shovM 
sud^  *atll  white  m^;'  for  as  it  now  stailds^  k  !s  a 
l^racticsl  untrtil9if  in  a^countiy  which  tolerates  ddoiestic 
liAwery  in  its  worst  and  most  ibrbidding  form.  It  iS  4  dedft- 
pjtt^n  tof  ahame\,  and  not  d"  wkdepmienee.  It  is  as  perfect 
'  mbnomer  as  ever  I  knew.  Well,  CRSid  he,  I  n^lMt  admit 
»reis  a  screw  loose  somewheretliereaboats,  and  I  Wiiftlt 
lid  convene  to  Congran  to  do  somethin  or  another  ibeiit 
our  mggers,  but  I  am  not  quite  certified  how  that  is  to  b&  sot 
to  rii^--^  ooncait  that  you  don't  understand  us^  'BIN, 
•aid  he,  (evading  the  subject  with  his  usual  dexterity,)  we 
dekf  otUy  in  niggers,—- imd  those  thick  skulled^  ciroralil 
tkSisked,  flat  fb^ed^  l<mg  heeled,  wodly  headed  geiltibm^, 
don't  seem  fit  fer  much  else  but  slavery,  1  db  suppose  j'tJUiy 
aint  fit  to  contrive  lor  themselves.  They  afe  just  l^giill^ 
hoppers ;  th^  d&noe/and  sing  all  summer,  and  when  Wi^tdr 
comes  they  have  nothin  provided  for  it,  and  ISyVidwn  ai^^ 
#s.  They  require  sorhe  one  to  see  arterthent;  Now,weiM 
ki  biftck  niggers  only,  but  the  blue-noset  s^H  thdr'offli 


y  k 


HtMT 
toiwii 


w 


«8Qi«»-^lie]r  tnd«  in  white  abvw.  Thank  God»  Mid  I^ 
PMeiry  ^qm  not  e«i«t  in  MiyjMurt  of  his  Majesty**.  cbMBi^ 
nwfl9  iioWft.,ifo  have  at  last  wi|»ed  off  that  national  ataink 
Miiat  quite»  I  g^eapi  aaid  he»  with  an  air  of  triuaaph,  it  taala 
ilpiM  with  in  Nova  S<^tiat  for  I  have  aesM  these  human 
oa<|tip  sales  with  my  own  eyes— I  was  availed  of  the  tnitk 
of  it  up  here  to  old  Furlonips,  last  November.  Pll  tell  you 
the  story,  said  he;  and  as  this  story  of  the  Clockinaker'a 
poQtained  BQine. extraordinary  statementa  Whidi  I  had  atiPSr 
hcfHid  of  befiire«  I  noted  it  inon^  journaU  ibr  the  piumose  of 
fMwertaupong  their  truth ;  and,  if  founded  on  fact,  of  layisf 
lllf  m  befbre  the  proper  authorities* 
4a^;|iaat  fall,  «|id  he,  I  was  on  my  way  to  Fhrtndge  Idand^ 
p  ship  off  some  trudc  and  proowee  I  had  taken  in,  in  the 
Ifay  of  trade ,  and  a»  I  nearad  old  Furlong^s  house,  I  seeM 
§aan>az'r.  nx^wd  pf  folke  abemt  die  door;  I  said  to  myself 
pays  it'^'ho  v.Ad|  and  what's  to  pay  now^— what  on  aivth 
pathemea;  ^^  »»  aU  thist  Isitavandew,  or  ftweddiSfOKa 
IBolin  Jfrpliek  ^»  «  reli^ous  stir,  or  what  is  it  1  Thinks  1,  l*U 
fmnkf>'  I  l^tchea  old  Clay  t»  the  fence»  and  walks  in.  a  It 
wai  sqmetima.afQre  I  was  able  to  awiggle  my  way  thro*  the 
crowd*  and  fv^  into  the  houae. 'And  when  I  <tid,  who  shonUI 
I,  aea  hut  JX^Qon  Westikll,  a  smooth  fiiced,  slick  haiied, 
n^ief^  loAkin  cha^  as  you'd  see  in  a  hundred,  a  standin 
<lli.a>  4fl9U  WJui  an,  an<4ioneBr*8  hammer  in  his-  hand ;  and 
li^rfi  Jiip^waa  one  Jeny  Oaks  and  his  wife,  and  two  itl|14 
fNfih^.«hildren,>tb9  prettiest  little  toads  I  ever  beheld  in  aH 
fUjr  ^m  f^Vt^  Gendeman,  said  he^  I  wtii  begin  the  sola 
^.  iWttwg  up  loEry  Oaks,  of  Apple  River,  be*a  a  conwdsfi 
a^  #f|«:  amart  m^  .^t,  and  aan  do  many  little  ehovsa 
besides  feedin  ther  children  and  pigs«l  ipieas  hre near  about 
wi^^e  lieapi  ;  Witt  you  w^rant  hua  aound,  wind  and 
Ml^.t  sa^a  a  taU,  ragged  looIdncoimtvyman,fiNr  he  kiojtt 
|(l»,|na if  jf. ha wa&fixuuieredin  both  Aet,  and  had  a atring 
halt  into  t|«s  bargain.  When  you«n  as  old  as  i  be,  aaya 
llTfy* mayhi4K  you  maybe  foundered  teo^young  inaapfil 
hiVe  fean  the  day  when  you  wouldn't  dare  to  pass  that'tokr 
^T!^  ma»  big  a«  yoijL  ba*    Will  any  gendemui  bid  fer  mh, 

Kys  the  Jeai^QOt  he's  cheap  at  7«.  9d»    Why  deaeon,  said 
rry^  why  sursly  your  honor  isn't  again  ibr.  to  seU  mm 
Vppaiata  tma  my  poor  old  wife,  are  you  ?  Hfty  years  batpa 
13 


ir»^iM4  tofteAtr  M  nMa;«ai  wift|iMid  t  |ttod  wife  IMVUI 
iMft  to  me,  llnroagh  fttf  niv  trouMe*  aad  trii^  aiid  CM 
kaows  I  hawliifll en«agh or *eiiK    Mo oi» kttftwiny iMMi 
««d!ailnwnl»taf  ker^  and  wlio  coiteiid  m»  no^lturii^  o#  4liiii 
anft  be«r  with  Hm  ooin|>UuBta  of  a  poor  old  InMi  Irat  Mil 
iiiii.    Do,  DeftOQB,8BdiIeaveB  bleat  yoa  lbrtt,uid  ymM, 
do  lell  ui  together^  wo  haTo  bat  a  few  daya  to  Mte  iio#, 
iaath  will  dlvida  ua  soon  enoughs    Leave  heir  toelooe  my 
oM  ajtea,  wben  the  atnig^le  cornea ;  and  wh^  it  connaa  to 
yei^  deaoQn*  as  oome  it  must  to  alt,  may  this  gedd  deed  rise 
lap;  lor  yott,  as  a  loeinorial  befbre  God.    I  wisli  it  hid 
pleased  him  to  have  taken  us  afore  it  came  to  this,  but '  kls 
m^ki  dcMM ;  and  he^  hung  hw  head,  as  if  he  fi^  be  had 
diainiiH  tiwcap  o#rd^radatk»  to  its  dregs.    (W't  aflbfd 
It^  ierry'«*«anti  affiwd  it,  old  vnmik,  said  the  deaooft  (wMi 
aadia.  Mnile  as  a  November  sun  g^es,  a  passin  atweib 
doHda.))    Lart  year  they  took  oats  for  rates,  ncmtxAiM 
huftwkaat  wiU  ^ 'down,  and  that's  as  good  as  cash,  and 
aMa*ll  kang  on,  as  niost  of  you  do,  y^  tiiese  mimy  yeavK 
TheM^s  ou  ioeCrowe,  I  believe  in  ny  ooilsei^nee  BB'wSl 
lifte  fois  everi    Th^  bidden  then  went  od,  ahd  he  wal  iNM 
ftv  !aix  ahitlings  a  week.    WeUj  ^  foor^ritter  >gav«e  oHe 
liMgykNid^  de^  groan,  and  then  folded  his  wms'eiVer  Us 
kiaast,  so  iigkt  that  he  seemed  tryiir^to  fceej^  in  his  btoiat 
bma.  buBlai.  I  pitied  the  misfortunate  wretoh  fimm  my  ioiil, 
|l4afeiV  know  as  I  eves  felt  so  streaked  afore,    lislso  ^ 
wiSb,  she  Was  all  tongue.    She  beflged,  and  pMtyiii,  «id 
iBfeMd^and  aeoUbd,  and  tadked  at  «iv«ry  Hp^ eand'of  ker 
HiiBa,titt  ske  heoanw,  poOf  critter,  'eahauiyi,  atiA  W<elil  <0 
a»A.foiMlin:fit,  and  they  Mehed  ker  «p  and  eiarri^lierMit 
dk>  tka'ttr,  and  jlia^wai  sold>in  that  eoadki«i4 
iv  WilL  I  ,oonhhi*t  make  head  or  toil  of  aH  IhiSk  1  ce«lil 
ksKdiy  keHave  ray  own  eyes  and  ears ;  so  says  I  to  JekH 
liiitar^  (him  that  has  that  catamount  of  a  w^  that  I  had 
•neh  fk  tousa  with,>  John  Porter,  says  I,  who  ever  SM'd  «t 
.  haei'd  tell  of  tha  ^eof  ikis«  wkat  voder  tho  sun  does H lAl 
^«Mnl    WkatlMstliataie  ertttor  done  that  h^tkuiiililli 
asM  arter  that  foskkm  ?    £tone^  said  he.  why  no^iitr**! 
ttal'a  tka  reason  they  sell  him.    Iliis  is  tow»weetkig  ^y, 
Md  WW  always  srit  the  poor  for  thv  y«ar,  to  the  WWest  bli> 
4wi    Them  that  will  keep  them  for  the  lowMt  suaii  gito 


m 
m 

m 

m 

Ml, 

!>#, 

my 
ltd 

had 
bM 
vMI 


•nd 


ye 


ttid 

MM 


Id 


*tj 


Hwm    Wlgr,«tgRiI.4lMi  ftllMtlwCteMi^liiaifaitpMi- 


^pliptoiBatkvpowr  biurtlM  [poor  beftf  andl  thftt  they  «ll 
■tarve  tooetfaer.  Sayt  I,  there  wm  t  v«ry  good  mm  0Q6e 
lived  la  liverpool,  eo  good,  he  e«id  he^  lUMiiH  einned  fi»r 
aeven  vean :  well,  he  put  a  mill-dam  acroee  the  river,  and 
etoptall  the  fiih  from  goin  up,  and  the  court  fined  him  fifty 
pouods  for  it,  and  this  good  man  wag  to  wrathy,  he  thought 
he  should  feel  better  tq  ewear  a  little,  but  eonicieoce  told 
.  lum  it  wae  wicked.  So  he  eompounded  with  ooneeience, 
and  cheated  the  devil,  ^ly  calling' it  a  *  dam  fine  buiineee.* 
Now,  Friend  Porter,  if  thie  ia  your  poor-law,  it  la  a  damn 
•oor  lew,  I  tell  you,  and  no  good  can  cdaio  of  sueh  hard- 
-^arted  doine*  It*>  no  wonder  vour  country  don't  proepet, 
6f  who  ever  beer*d  of  a  bleeetn  on  iueh  earryine  on  ae 
&mX  JSaya  I,  Did  you  ever  hear  tell  of  a  eanin  rich  maa^ 
thai  }a4  n  beggar  called  Laaanw  laid  at  hie  gale,  and  he«r 
j|he4we  had  mere  oomj^aaaion  than  he  bad,  and  came  and 
licked  hia  aoreat  oanae  if  you  have,  look  at  that  ferehandad 
jund  Aponaihle  m^  there.  Deacon  WeatfiiUi  and  you  nee  the 
ridi  man.  And  then  lock  i^  that  are  pnuper,  dragged  away 
uiihatoaEM»xt  fiom  hie  wife  fijir  ever,  like  n  ftUen^  to  Slaiea' 
jNaQ%  and  yon  aee  Lasarua.  Recolloct  what  ibUered, 
John  Fortev,  andliave  neither  art  nor  part  in  it,aa  yo(i«M 
1^  Cbriatian  man. 

It  fairly  made  me  aick  all  day.  John  Porter  fbllefed  me 
out  of  the  hooae,  and  aa  I  waa  a  tumin  Old  Clay,  anid  ha, 
Mr.. Stick,  aeya  he,  I  never  aee*d  it  in  that  aie  li|^  nfbut, 
for  ita  oat  cuatom,  and  oiiatom,  you  know,  will  reeoncile 
one  to  moat  anytbin|(.  I  muat  aay,  it  doea  appear,  aa  yon 
lay  it  out,  an  unfeebn  way  at  piovidin  tor  the  poor ;  rat, 
eateu«hin  the  matter  of  dividin  man  and  wifb,  why,  (and 
be  peered  i4l  round  to  aee  that  no  one  waa  within  bearini) 
irhy,  I  don*t  know,  but  if  it  waa  my  allotment  lo  be  aoM, 
rd  as  Uvea  they'd  self  dm  aepaiate  from  Jane  aa  not,  for  it 
li|»eiura  to  me4t*a  about  the  beat  part  of  it. 

Now,  what  I  have  told  you  Squire,  aaid  the  Clodunaker, 
\».  the  tnith^;  and  if  membera,  inatead  of  their  everlaatin 
pfoUtics,  wmjll  only  kiok  into  tbeae  mattera  a  Uttle«  I  gneia 


t 


H  wovkl  btt  iir  tMltet  fer  Um  ebiMiyJ  90,  ttit^Wtr  ilif^ 
filfoa  of  iadependtace,  ifjueH  y«Ni  neMhl*t  twitt  HM  #IA 
011^  «laive-Mlab»  fi>r  iv«  dett  mAf  ia  llbfdkt ;  iMit  fchlihfllib 
i^iobatn  no  diitinction  iii  coloimi,  mnd  trhen  <Mtief^% 
l^rty,  is  reduced  to  ekvery,  md  ig  wtiiii-'^--^'wMtif 


CHAPTER  XXVni. 


.V 


HRE  1^  THE  DAIRY. 

4  Ai  w«  apinottelied  wifhin  fifteen  or  tvreat;^,iil^  dlf 
Jiimboro',  a  sudden  ttirn  of  fhe  road  brought  ui 
hi  front  of  a  iarge  irooden  house,  consistStaff  off  t#d 
and  an  immense  Toof,  the  height  of  which  ^JSoe  *#|ui 
inereaaed  hy  astonevfeun^tion,  risiiiff  sevemil  feet  ^hb^ 
ground.  Nfow,  did  you  evtit  see,  said  Mt.  Slicii,  Jiuch  & 
eetetnaran  as  that ;  there's  a  |>ro^  l^ney  fat  yod,  fi^r  n> 
|6  and  ra^e  suoh  a  buiMin  as  that  are,  and  he  as  mbeli  utia 
t»r  ft,  I  do  BUf^pose,  as  my  old  waggcm  here  has  itftn,  ^Bh 
wheel*  Kue-nose  always-  take  keer  to  have  n '  *  '^ 
dMise  it  shows  a  Mg  man,  and  <»fe  "th&t's  considfei 
han^,  and  prethr  well  to  d6  in  the  woirld.  Tliesb  ^ 
Scodans  turn  up  their  )>lue*no8es,  as.  a  botde  ik>se  ^xj^isi 
tarns  up  his  shout,  and  puff  and  snort  lacactly  Iik4  n^  at  a 
SHudl  house.  '  If  hei^bor  Carrit  has  a  two  irtory  ^use  (0 
ittted  with  winders.  Tike  Sandy  Hook  lighthouse,  ueishbitir 
Piamnip  must  add  jik  two  feet  i||ore  on  to  tin  post  of  hish: 
and  about  as  much  more  to  thi^  rafter,  to  go  a  head  of  hinij 
86  all  these  iMag  sarce  g«Atletnen  strive  who  can  gel  ~ 
(Mest  in'thd  sky,  away  frmn  their  formir.  &|  Ifew  I 
land  our  maxim  is  a  small  home,  (ihd«  nibst  a|i  eyerlas 
dhnighty  big  bam ;  but  these  critters  retf^  it,  they  hat< 
Utele  hovtels  for  their  cattle,  about  t^e  biglM^  of  a  go6< 
sizeable  bear  trap,  and  a/  house  for  the  humans  bs  graii(4  '^ 
Ifoah*8.Ark.  Well,  jist  "look  at  it  and  see  what  afigjiir  i| 
diies  eut.  An  old  tot  stu^  into  one  pane  of  gfiass,  a: 
old  AahntS  pettiooftt,  as  yidler  all  jaunmce,  ui  ttnoUier^ 


m 


J 


i 


i 


«4|||id  frenis  •»  old  psir  of  bre«slwi»Md  Iha  ptd  qC% 
bimn  new  cart-Mddle  .worn  out»  titif«l9  lk»oend»  wJiUe  tlii* 
MbiiBtanttckM0dttpooMiMw4oCUMwiii4.  WJwBit 
rauH,  iTthifMre  aiat  a  preliy  how<<lo»you<do,  U*«  a  pHy-rWt  - 
tasittd  ««t  of  thia  room  am  tuhi  set  in  fodwr  U>  catch  soft 
waler  to  wask;  while  tho  cla^^*  \tds,  looae  at  the  eevdvltgi 
clM,  ohq»r.cla|N  like  ^'  a  *..^  '<n  flaxtand  the  y»  ■  '  .m 
Mcl  doon  keep  a  dancin  to  the  umuc  The  only  dry  pl^ca 
in  dM  houae  i«  in  the  ohirabl^  corner,  where  the  rolks  all 
hudkUo  up,  aa  an  old  hen  and  her  chi^^ens  do  under  a  cart 
•f  a  wet  day.  1  wish  I  had  the  matter  of  a  half  a  doxen 
pound  of  naiisi  (you'll  hear  the  old  gratleman  in  the  grand 
house  My,)  ril  be  darned  if  I  don^t,  for  if  I  had  Fd  &s 
ttem  are  chmboards,  I  oueM  they*!!  go  for  it  some  o*  these 
4ay8.  I  wish  you  hai^  his  wife  would  say*  lor  they  do 
mute  a  most  p^cular  unliansttm  clatter,  that's  a  fact;  and 
so  they  let  it  be  till  the  next  tempestical  time  comes,  and 
tbmn  ther  wish  i^in.  Now  this  grand  house  has  only  two 
MMins  down  staurs,  that  are  altc^gether  sUdced  up  and 
inithed  off  oonqplete,  the  other  is  jiat  pe^ti<med  off  rou^ 
Uhe,  one  half  gnat  dark  entries,  and  tother  half  placMthiyt 
kwk  a  j^aguy  sight  more  like  packin  boaces  tlum  rooms. 
WieU,  w  i;^  atairs  is  a  gre^  onnimished  pUce,  filled  with 
every  sort  of  good  for  nothin  trumpery  in  natur— ^Murrela 
wtthiMit  eenda— com  cobs  half  liusked-— caat  off  cJothea  and 
Uta  of  old  hameaa,  aheep  akina,  liides,  and  wool,  ifjAm, 
one  half  rotten,  ai^  tother  half  squashed — a  thouaand  or 
two  of  ahin^ea  that  have  bust  their  witlia,  and  brdie  looae 
aU  ovw  the  floor,  hay  rakes,  forks,  and  nckles,  withoul 
handleacHr  tei^ ;  realty  scythes^  and  odds  and  eenda  w^tj^, 
out  number.  Wh<»i  any  thing  is  wanted,  then  there  is  a 
fluiem!  overhanl  of  tlie  whole  cai^,  and  away  they  gat 
doAed  forrard,  one  1^  one,  all  handled  over  and  chucked 
into  a  heiq^  together  till  the  lost  one  is  found ;  and  the  neart 
time  Away  thiiy  get  pitched  to  the  stem  agin,^higg|tety,  pig<« 
1^^,  heels  0ver  head,  like  Aio&p  taken  a  split  for  it  over  a 
wall ;  only  fhey  increase  in  uundier  each  npK>ve,  cause  some 
ojB  *em  are  sure-to  get  broke  into  more  pieces  than  there 
was  afore.  Whenever  I  see  cme  of  these  grand  houses, 
fund  a  bat  loc^un  out  o'  the  winder  with  nary  head  in  it, 
thiaks  I,  ni  be  daioed  if  that's  a  place  for  a  wooden  eIocfc« 


MMtrfnltoft^f '»  London  londi  would  go  ABwtt^rfthllMlr. 
MIto,  to  I  MleoM*  I  wont  aKgkt.  u^- 

^  Wheiiever  jtn  ooinvtMnek  a  fmad  ^kM  Mtliii,  8qaii% 
iiptud  oti^  the  fitm  it  all  of  •  pie^o*  gnat  orow  of  tUni 
mt,  aiid  an  e^erhstia  ^rield  of  wMdt^  uid  taitto  tba  bwi 
M  in  tlw  oountry^  for  the^  mn  alwayt  in  tha  grain  iaMa 
oil^  maarin  laadS)  and  tlM  pigva  roolin  in  tlto  patatoa  patoliii^ 
A  nalc  ioid  apan  new  gig  at  tlia  door,  ehinin  Itta  tne  ninA 
Hanks  of  Windsor,  wlien  the  tan's  on  'em,  and  an  old  wradc 
of  a  hay  wa^pn,  with  its  tongue  onhitcbed,  and  atiokin  onll 
fMHind,  like  a  pig's  tail^  all  indicate  a  lag  nan.  1Kb 's  abova 
^iteikin  of  fknnin  toolt,  he  teet  to  the  bran  naw  gig,  aadk 
Ai6  hi#ed  helpt  look  arler  the  cartt.  Otch  him  with  hit  go- 
fb>>nieetin  clothes  on,  a  nibbin  aghi  their  muity'  graasy 
^frtet,  I9ce  a  tarry  nigger ;  net  he*  indeed^  he'daticc  yoa  vp 

'The  liUHifno  I  oame  by  here,  il  was  a  Mttla  bit  sintrdfff 
■fl|lit  dJewn,  litUnin  cats  and  dogii,  and  at  datk-at  Egjnplf 
«S  thhiks  L  I'll  jittt  torn  in  here  for  shelter  to  fi^puwiiAl 
m^B*  Well,  i  knoeks  away  at  the  ftant  door,  fill^  I 
dk6^gh(I^i  a  split  it  ia{*but  arter  a  rapf4n  awhile  to  «a 
fptmiet  and  findto  no  ena  come,  I  gropw  n^.wny  roundl 
ii^nieliaek  door,  and  opens  it,  and  feelinall  tda|ig'tiia|iwi^ 
iifttil  for  the  latch  of  the  keepin  room,  without  finding' %  I 
»0bk»fu^,  when  K»Rie  one  from  inmda  calls  aut^  walk.'* 
Thinks  fi  r  dont  elev^l^  know  whether  that  indioatea 
^%al|i  in,'  or  *  walk  out,*  its  pltgny  short  metre,  ^Mil'ana 
ilwt|  iMit  Int  «fee  any  how.  \WeU,  arttr  gropia  abaal 
a^ile,  ar  last  I  got  held  of  the  aiding  and  Mfted  tha  latsli 
tnd^mked'ih,  and  there  sot  old  Marm  Blake^  ekita-iMo 
6a6f  corner  of  the  chimbley  tat  places  a  see-tawinin  n 
Miiti'iiihai^,  and  a  half  grown  black  house^ielp,  half  atletn 
m  toAlar  comer,  a  scrou^gin  itp  ^iver  ^e  embevt^  Wh»  m 
^'1  said  Marm  Blake,  ^t  I  can't  see  yiou.  A  ttiangai^ 
iiiaL  taedt,  iiays  she,  m^akm  to  tha  blaek  hdforin  thit 
A>Mi)^,^Bedk,  says^ha  a|;m,  ratshi  her  voice,  I  bebaira^on 
ii«  l^'^f  as  a  ifoflt,  get  up  fhi«  minit  and  stir^he  beaH  tiM 
Psee  the:man.  Aitei*  the  eoals  we^  stnhred  into  a  Utati 
the  old  lady  siii^<$yed  me  f^ora  head  to  foot,  then  she  aned 
f^'my  fi^me,  and^Whbre  I  oima  from,  whafe  I  was  agoioi 
dSA  WUikt'Miy'  btt^lfiels%%A  - 1  i^i«t^''«ii^  ihe^  Won  SmM 


■.■»♦*' 


rmm  u^nm  buubt. 

4*  «taiMMU»  wel,  til  to  thto  AnwoAdty  yaQfaelf,  or  onyw 
litD  yoar  bMlth  may  be  enduaaiAed  Tprni^ 
f««.||»  I  aoC  <}oini,  •ad  w  soon  got  pivlly  ooondnaUy  «<bU 
•MUMBted,  and  quite  todaUe  like,  and  her  tongue,  mkm 
'A  mtlf  waked  up,  began  te  run  like  a  nrill  raoe  when  tha 
|pite*t  ufk  I  hada't  been  telkin  kng,  Yon  I  well  niich  leal 
flight  tf  her  altogether  agin,  for  little  Beck  began  to  ionriih 
about  her  broom,  right  and  left,  in  great  ityle,  a  elearin  vip, 
and  aha  did  raise  such  an  auful  thick  oknid  o*  duet,  I  didn^ 
knew  if  I  should  ever  see  or  breathe  either  agin.  Woll, 
when  all  was  sot  to  rights  and  the  fire  made  up,  the  old 
lady  bag^n  to  apologize  for  bavin  no  candles ;  she  aaid 
aha  d  had  a  gmnd  tea  party  the  night  afore,  and  used  theai 

e,up,  and  a  whole  sight  m  vittals  too,  the  old  man  hadnH 
«  well  since,  and  hcu^gone  to  bed  airly.  But,  says  ahei 
I  do  wiah  with  all  my  hecurt  you  had  a  come  last  ni^t,  for 
we  had  a  most  a  special  supper— pimkin  prea  and  dooah^ 
nuta,4ind  apple  sarce,  and  a  roast  |oose  stuftd  with  Indiaa 
pudoin,  and  a  pig*s  harslet  stowed  m  molassea  and  onionfli 
and  I  don't  know  what  all,  and  ikn>  fore  part  of  to-day  foUta 
^aUed  to  finish. .  I  aotUIy  have  nothin  left  to  set  afoia  you  | 
for.it  was  none  o'  your  skim-milk  parties,  but  superfina 
ui^pererust  real  jam,  and  we  made  clean  work  of  it  But 
ruSnake  some  tea,  any  how,  for  you,  and  perhaps,  artM 
thatf  said  she,  alterin  of  her  tone,  perhaps  you'U  eiqKMmd 
the  Seizures,  for.  it's  one  white  sinoe  I've  bieerd  them  hid 
ipen  powerfiiUy.  I  haat  been  fairly  lifted  up  since  that 
food  man  Judas  Oglethrop  travelled  this  road,  and  thon  she 
gaveia. groan  and  hung  down  her  head,  and  looked  comw- 
waya,  to  see  how  the  land  ky  thereabouts.  The  tea  kettle 
was  aoeordingly  put  on,  and  some  lard  fried  into  oil,  and 
poured  into  a  tianbler;  which,  with  the  aid  of  an  inch  of 
QOttonwick,  served  as  a  make  shift  for  a  candle. 

Well,,  arter  tea  we  sat  and  chatted  awhile  about  fashi<m8> 
Md  markets,  and  sarmons,  and  scandal,  and  all  sorts  o* 
tUngI :  and,  in  the  midst  of  it^  in  num  the  nigger  wencn, 
acreamin  oiit  iU  the  tip  eend  of  her  vmoe,  oh  Missus! 
Missus  1  there's  fire  in  the  Dairy,  fire  in  the  Dairy!  lit 
give  it  to  you  for  that,  said  the  old  lady,  I'll  give  it  to  you 
for  tha^  you  gbod  for  nothin  hussy,  that's  all  your  carele8a<«t 
f^:iuid'put  ii  Qirt.  thia  mimt,  how  en  airth  did  it  gal 


thaiet  my  oighl*!  mUk  gone*  I  dan  my}  mn  thit'  ninil 
and  put  it  out  mmI  Mve  tM  mUk.  I  an  draacMil  aAard  «l 
te,l  always  was  fton  a  boy*  and  Main  the  poor  f^bdiA 
Alitor  aeiae  a  bioom  in  ber  (Ught,  lupa  with  the  tea  kattii 
alKl.ibllowa  her{  and  away  wo  oKpt  tbfo*  the  entry,  she 
oallin  out  mind  the  cellar  door  on  the  rigM,  take  ke^r  of  the 
ekMe  horaa  on  the  left,  and  ao  on,  but  as  I  ooolda*t  see 
notUn,  I  kept  right  atrdght  ahead.  At  laat  my  foot  koloh- 
ed  in  iomethih  or  ano^r,  that  pitched  me  stMnewhat  leoa 
than  a  rod  or  so,  right  acin  the  popr  blaek  critter,  and 
away  we  went  heels  over  be«L  I  heerd  a  splash  and  • 
gmaa,  and  I  smelt  soniethin  plaguy  sour,  but  I  oouldn't  aea 
nothin ;  at  last  I  got  hold  of  her  and  lifted  her  up,  ^  she 
didn't  scream,  but  made  a  strange  kind  of  choakin  noiaei 
and  by  this  time  up  came  Marm  Blake  with  a  lisht.  If  poor 
Back  didn't  let  go  then  in  aimest,  and  sing  out  K>r  dear  Kie» 
ita  a  pity,  for  she  had  gone  head  first  into  the  swill  tul^ 
and  the  tea  kettle  had  scalded  her  feet.  She  kept  a 
jlancin  right  up  and  down,  like  one  ravin  distnu^ed  mad, 
and  boolnod  like  any  thing,  clawin  away  at  her  head 
the  whole  time,  to  clear  *away  thd  stuff  that  stuck  to  her 
wool. 

I  heM  in  is  bnc  as  I  could,  till  I  thought  I  should  have 
busted,  for  no  soin  could  help  larfin,  and  at  last  I  haw 
hawed  right  out.    You  good  for  nothin  stupid  slut,  you, 
said  the  old  lady  to  poor  Beck,  it  serves  you  right,  yut^ 
had  no  b|isiness  to  leave  it  there — ^I'll  pay  you.    But,  saidf 
I,  interferin  'for  the  unfiurtunate  critter.  Good  gracleuSf  r 
Marm !  you  forget  the  fire.    No  I  don't,  aaid  she,  I  sei, 
him,  and  seesin  the  broom  that  had  fallen  firom  the  nigger'iiv 
hand,  she  exclaimed,  I  see  him,  the  nastv  varmint,  an^l 
b^;an  to  belabor  moat  onmaFcifully  a  poor  half-starved  cuH^ 
that  the  ndse  had  attracted  to  the  entry.    I'll  teach  you^^' 
Mild  She,  to  drink  milk;  I'll  lam  you  to  steal  into  tho^, 
dairy,  and  the  besot  critter  joined  diorun  with  Beck,  an#^ 
hey  both  yelled  together,  tiD  they  fairly  made  the  hous^*' 
ring  a^.    Presently  old  Sqmm  Blake  popt  his  head  out 
of  a  door,  and  rabbin  his  eyes,  half  aslem  and  hdlf  awakoy 
said.  What  the  l>evil's  to  pay  now,  wife  7    Why  nothin«i 
says  she,  only,  *jlre's  in  the  aairjft  and  Beck's  in  the  vnm 
bib,  that's  all.    Wall,  dont  make  such  n  toqss,  than,  Mud 


A   0O6t  ^l^fliDtJT  i  HBAD. 


m 


rMmf  tMt*i  fell,  and  he  tfioC  tii  tlie  dcxnr,  anil  went  to  bed 
liino.  When  we  returned  t6  the  keenin  rponii  the  old  ItJfy 
t«d  me  ihat  they  always  had  had  a  dogealle^  *Fire*  ever 
rincM  her  grandihther,  Major  Donald  Fraaer's  tim^,  and 
"iHiat  waiTery  odd,  Myt  she,  erery  one  on  *em  would  drink 
i^nilkifhe  had  a  chance.  • 

By  this  tfane  the  shower  was  over,  and  the  mooti  shinlu  to 
hritfM  and  elear  that  I  thought  IM  better  be  up  and  stiirin, 
and  arier  alippin  a  ibw  cents  into  the  poox  nigger  wench's 
iandi  I  took  leave  of  th^  grand  fblks  in  the  big  house. 
r<Now,  Squire,  among  these  middlin  sized  iKrmere  you  may 
lAy  thb  down  as  a  rule— 7%e  bigger  the  Aovte,  the  bigg^ 
i^tfooU  be  ihaC*  in  it. 

But,  howaomever,  I  never  call  to  mhid  that  are  go  in  the 
biff  house,  tip  to  the  right,  that  I  don*t  snicker  when  I^hink 
of^  Fife  in  the  dair^/ 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 
A  BODY  WITHOUT  A  HEAIX 

I  AUiOryou  had  ought  to  visit  our  great  country,  Squire, 
eaid  tiM  Qockmaker,  afore  you  quit  for  good  and  all. 
I'ccdculate  you  don*t  understand  us.  The  roost  splendid 
loebtk«b  atween  the  Poles  is  the  United  States,  and  the  first 
:  .4UI  aliVe  is  Gineral  Jackson,  the  hero  of  the  age,  hijpa 
that*s  sheered  Uie  Biftish  out  of  their  seven  senses,  "then 
thek^y  the  great /Ihiniel  Webster,  it*s  generally  allowed, 
fae^fl  the  greatest  orator  en  the  face  of  the  airth,  by  a  long 
^aHc,  and  Mr.  Van  Buren,  and  Mr.  Clay,  and  Amoff 
Ki)Mllej  and  Judge  White,  and  a  whole  raft  of  statesmen 
tip  to  everythiiiff  and  all  manner  of  politics ;  there  aint  the 
beatof  *em  to  be  found  any  where.  If  you  was  to  hear 
*eni  I  conceit  you'd  hear  genyine  pure  English  for  once,  any 
hew;  fbr  it's  cenen^tly  aTlqwed  we  speak  English  bettqf 
than  the  British.  Thev  all  know  me  to  be  an  American 
eitiiEen  here,  by  my  talk,  for  we  speak  it  complete  in  New 
England. 


Ym,  it  yov  want  to  Me  a  fim  poopl»— them  thit  MkM 
tMr  own  lawi»  aooordin  to  their  own  notioae  fo  to*llw 
Stetee.  Indeed,  if  70a  can  fiUt  them  at  all,  they  i»e  a 
Uttle  grain  too  fine.  Our  folka  have  their  head  a  trifle  teo 
much,  eometimee,  particttlarly  fai  BleotioDe  both  hi  ftee- 
dom  ornMBcfa  and  freedom  orPreae.  Oie  hadn%  ooahl  to 
blart  nghfout  alwi^e  all  that  comee  uppermoit.  A  Horee 
that*a  too  firee  frete  himielf  and  hie  rider  too,  and  both  dn 
'em  loee  flerii  in  the  long  run.  Td  een  a  rooet  as  Ubvee  oee 
the  whip  eometimee,  aa  to  be  for  everlaatinly  a  palfin  at  the 
rein.  ^ae*8  arm  nte  placuy  tired,  that*e  a  fact.  I  <^kta 
think  of  a  leeeon  I  lamt  Jehiel  Quirk  onoe,  for  iettin  Ue 
tongue  outrun  hie  good  manners. 

I  was  down  to  Rhode  Island  one  eummet ,  to  lara  glUHn 
and  br^ain,  so  as  to  give  the  finiidun  touch  to  mj  <Molib. 
Well,  the  folks  electwl  me  a  hogreave,  jist  to  poke  fim  at 
me,  and  Mr.  Jehiel,  a  bean  pole  of  a  lawyer,  was'  at  the 
bottom  of  it.  So  oneda^,  up  to  Town  Hall,  where  there 
was  an  oration  to  be  delivered  on  our  Independence,  jiet 
afore  the  orator  commenced,  in  runs  Jehiel  in  a  most  dlfixed 
hurry ;  and  says  he,  I  wonder,  says  he,  if  there*8  are  a  ho^' 
reave  here,  becauae  if  there  be  I  require  a  turn  of  his 
offiro.  And  then,  said  he,  a  lookin  up  to  me  and  caltin  out 
at  tlie  tip  eend  of  his  vtnce,  Mr.  Hogrmve  Slick,  eays  he, 
here's  a  job, out  here  for  you.  Folks  snickered  *  0po<I 
deal,  and  I  felt  my  spunk  a  ri«n  like  half  flood  that's  a  net, 
but  I  bit  in  my  breath,  and  spoke  quito  cool.  Posiible, 
says  I }  well  duty,  I  do,  suppose,  must  be  done,  thoogli  it 
tante  thelhoost  agreeabte  in  the  world.  Pve  been  a  thiidthi, 
says  I,  that  I  wmild  be  liaUe  to  a  fine  of  fifty  cents  for  suf- 
%rin  a  hog  to  run  at  larae,  and  a«  ^ou  are  the  In^^eet  one,'  I 
presume  in  all  Rhode  Idand,  FlI  jist  hefpn  by  nngin  your 
nose,  to  prevent  you  for  the  futur  from  polun  your  tnont 
where  you  hadn't  ought  to'-and  I  seized  him  by  the  neee 
and  nearly  wrung  it  ofiL  Wdl,  you  itover  heerd  such  a 
ahoutin  and  dappin  6f  hands,  and  cheorin,  in  you?  lifo-^ 
they  haw-hawed  like  thunder.  Says  I^  Jehiel  Quirit,  tiMi 
■wtM  a  superb  joke  of  yourn,  how  you  made  the  folke  larf^ 
didn't  you  t  You  are  een  amoet  the  wittiest  critter  I  ew 
aped.    I  guees  you'll  mind  your  parts  o'  speech,  ud  sMiir 


■.f  ' 


A  MMr  VPITflOVr  A  BBAS. 


fM 


i«  aipMiimg  ^b  fibre  yoa  let  your  eltjpper  ma  arter  that 
tehion,  wcNi*t  }|roM. 

1  thought,  mid  I,  that  among  you  republieaBa,  thore  won 
no  gfttdanona  ot'rairiK  or  office,  and  tint  all  were  equal,  tha 
Hograave  and  the  Oovemor,  the  Judge  and  the  Crier,  the 
waalar  and  hk  Mrvant ;  and  although  Aom  th^  nature  of 
thiogi,  more  power  might  be  entruated  to  one  than  the 
elhar,  yet  that  the  rank  of  all  was  predaely  the  aame.  Wdl| 
aaid  he,  it  is  ao  in  theory,  but  not  alwaya  in  pnetioe  {  av4 
wlna  we  do  praotiae  it,  it  aeema  to  so  a  little  agin  the  graf ;:, 
M  if  it  wam't  quite  right  neither.  When  I  waa  laat  to  Bal« 
tim6re  there  was  a  Court  there,  and  Chief  Jualioe  Mar^U 
was  detailed  there  for  duty.  Well,  with  us  in  New  Bng* 
kad»  the  Sheriff  attends  the  Judge  to  Court,  and  says  I  to 
the  CHieriff,  why  don*t  you  escort  that  are  TeneraMe  old 
Judge  to  tliB  State  House,  he*s  a  credit  to  our  nation  that 
BMn,  he*a  aotilly  the  first  pothook  on  the  crane,  the  whole 
weight  ia  on  him,  if  it  wamH  for  him  the  fat  would  be  in 
Ihe  fire  in  no  time ;  I  wonder  you  don*t  idiow  him  that  re* 
apec(-*it  wottldn*t  huit  you  one  morsel,  I  guesa.    Says  hej 

yuite  mkAr  like,  don't  he  know  the  way  to  Court  aa  well  an 
dof  If  I  thought  he  didn*t,  Fd  send  one  of  my  niffgets  to 
show  him  the  road.  I  wonder  who  waa  hie  hMskey  tail 
year,  that  lie  wants  me  to  be  hisn  this  time.  It  den*t  con<i 
vene  to  one  of  our  free  and  enliahtened  citiaens,  to  tag 
atter  ainr  wan,  that's  a  iactt  Its  too  English  and  too 
fofeifpi  ««r  our  glorious  institutions.  He*s  bowid  by  law  td 
be  tlMfe-at  10  adock,  and  ao  be  I,  and  we  both  uow  thb 
way  there  I  reckon. 

-  J  fold  the  stor^  to  our  minister,  Mr.  Hopewell,  (-■''  he 
haa  aoaae  odd  notions  about  him  that  man,  though  ne  don** 
aitweya  let  out  what  he  thinks ;)  saya  he,  Sam,  that  wai 
in  bad  taste,  (a  great  phrase  of  the  old  gentlemar;  s  that)  in 
bad  taste,  Sam.  That  are  Sheriff  waa  a  <!>one/ ;  den*t  cu«. 
yoiw  tUfoik  Mker  his  pattern,  or  your  garnmit  won't  become 
you,  I  tell  you.  We  aie  tooenti^htened  to  worship  our  follow 
oitisena  aa  the  anoienta  did,  but  we  ou^ht  to  pay  great 
rsapeot.to  vartue  and  exalted  talents  in  this  lifo,  and,  arte^ 
their  death*  there  should  be  statues  of  eminent  men  pbteed 
in  our  niUional  temples,  foe  the  veneration  of  arter  ages,  and 
public  oeremcmies  performed  annually  to  their  honor.  Artei 


n 


lUi  9Mm  mM  ki9*  (#114  >«  made  a  ooiiaideraU»  of  %  Iom; 
pftUMi  aa  if  hi  WM  dubersome  whether  he  ought  to  apeiMl 
out  ei  A0t)  ftf tof  «!!«  Sam,  said  he,  atween  ouraelveat  (but 
you  imtat  not  kt  on  I  said  «o,  for  the  fiilneM  of  tii»»  haaH 
yot  ooflio)  bftlC  a  yui  of  blue  ribhon  is  a  plaguy  cheap  wiy 
of  liwafoiAt  mm,  §•  th<t  flngUsh  do;  aod»  althoujib  w« 
larf  At  'offli  (^  mhM  always  will  larf  at  what  they vhaa't 
got)  and  aovof  wn  iet«)  yet  titles  aint  bad  things  aa  olijecto 
^  ambltloai  «fe  thoy  1  Thea  tappen  ma  oa  the  ahoulder, 
9m  MtiA  up  tad  «milim  aa  he  always  did  when  he  «as 
pUfliid  with  m  i^aot  i^ir  Swnuel  Slick  would  not  sound 
Ud|IguoiatWOttidit9aiBT  <«. 

Wh^  i  mk  $i  the  English  House  of  Lords,  said  ha, 
ftful  Its  iO  fliu§b  lafuingy  piety,  talent,  honor,  vavtue,.Mid 
fi$noBltllt.OOtl69t§d  loflether,  I  ax  myself  this  heiB  qusa- 
miif  OMI  a  §y§Uim  wluch  produces  and  sustains  auoh;  a 
My  of  won  Oi  thi  world  never  saw  before  and  never  i^ssU 

rafiOf  bo  dofeotko  1  Well,  I  answer  myself  perhaps  it 
Ar  ftU  bUfiMA  itlstKutions  are  ao^  hut  I  guesa  ifa  elan 
about  tilO  boitr  aftef  all.  It  wouldnH  do  heve  now,  Sam^ 
BOH  ^pofbapa  for  a  sontury  to  come,  but  it  will  oosao  sooner 
or  MtOf  With  ooiflo  variations.  Now  the  Nawtown^  pippiii, 
irhifl  tfauiolaoted  to  fingland,  donH  produce  «uoh  fruit  as 
It  doof  i«  Loflg  Inland,  and  EngHsh  fruits  don't  preserve 
Mr  flavour  fey«  neither;  allowance  must  be^  made  for 
of  aoil  and  olimate-^Oh  Lord  1  dunks  i,  if  ha 


tU^ei  iolo  U»  OffihU'd,  i'm  done  for ;  Vil  have  to  give  hin 
Urn  Mas  flOO^  how  ot  another,  through  some  hols  ia^  the 
tmmt  that's  a  &ot,  but  he  passed  on  tliat  time.)  So  it  is, 
•aid  ho»  wUb  OoastltUtions;  oum  will  gradually  apprOxi. 
mato  to  thfira«  eM  ihdm  to  euro.  As  they  kise  thaiir 
•tfongth  of  oxoeutivO)  they  will  varga  to  repUbliesnisaH 
Aild  aa  wo  Ittrifonito  the  form  of  government,  (a»  we 
mutt  dOf  or  go  to  (bo  ohl  boy,)  we  shall  tead  towards  a 
IBOOaroby*  If  tUa  oomes  on  gradualfy,  Hke  the  ehaafee 
ift  tbo  jMimaii  body,  by  the  slow  approach  of  old  age^  so 
BMlob  tho  baltor  I  but  l  ftar  We  shi^  have  fevers  and  ooA- 
vulsjoil'fitg.  and  ohollos,  and  an  everlastin  'gripin  of  the 
bitoatiflOf  ifsli  you  and  I  wont  live  to  see  it^Sann  bufoor 
poiioriori  will,  you  nay  depend.  *      >  ^-- 

i  I  ioaHi  fo  tho  Wholo  figur  with  ndnister,  said  the  Glade 


•mMmmiimiim 


A  BOM   WITBnUT  if  RBAD. 


^llll 


inikier»  butl  do  opinkmatft  with  liiin  in  paft.  In  oar  boai- 
nen  relations  we  bely  our  pditical  prindples— -we  My 
every  man  is  equal  in  the  Union,  and  should  have  an  equal 
vote  and  voioO  in  the  Government;  but  in  our  Ba'u^ 
Railroad  Companies,  Factory  Oorporatbns,  and  so  on^ 
every  man's  vote  is  regilated.  by  his  share  and  proportkm 
of  stock ;  and  if  it  warn't  so,  no  man  would  take  hold  on 
these  things  at  all. 

Natur  ordained  it  so — a  father  of  a  family  is  head,  and 
rules  supreme  in  his  household ;  his  eldest  son  and  darter 
are  like  first  leA'^nants  under  him,  and  then  there  is  an 
overseer  over  the  niggers  f  it  wiKild  not  do  for  all  to  be 
equal  there.  So  it  is  in  the  univarse,  it  is  ruled  by  one 
Supt  or  Power;  if  all  the  Angels  had.  a  voice  in  the 

Government,  I  guess Here  I  fell  fast  asleep;  I 

hid  been  nodding  for  some  time,  not  in  approbation  -  of 
what  he  said,  but  in  heaviness  of  slumber,  for  I  had  never 
before  heard  him  so  pfosy  since  I  first  overtook  him  ^tti 
tiie  CSolchester  road.  I  hate  politics  as  a  subject  of  con- 
vetaaticm,  it  is  too  v^de  a  field  for  chit  diat,  and  too 
often  ends  in  angry  discussion.  How  long  he  conthi- 
ued  this  train  of  speculation  I  do  not  know,  but,  judging  by 
the  diflfetcent  aspect'  of  the  country,  I  must  have  slept  tti 
hour. 

I  was  at  Imgth  aroused  by  the  report  of  his  rifle,  which 
he  had  discharged  from  the  viraggon.  The  last  I  recollect^ 
ed  of  his  conversation  was,  I  think,  about  American  ungel^ 
having  no  voice  in  the  Government,  an  tosertion  th»it 
struck  rtiy  drowsy  faculties  as  not  strictly  true;  as  I  had 
often  heard  that  the  American  ladies  talk^  frequently 
and  warmly  on  the  subject  of  politics,  and  knew  that  oti(^ 
of  them  had  very  recently  the  credit  of  breaking  up  Qt/H-i 
oral  Jacks(m's  cabinet.*— When  I  awoke,  the  first  i  heard 
was,  w^l,  I  declare,  if  that  aint  an  amazin  fine  shot,  tco, 
oonsidertn  bow  the  critter  was  a  runnin  the  whole  blessed 
time ;  if  I  han*t  cut  her  head  olBT  with  a  ball,  jist  beloW 
the  throat,  that's  a  fact.  There's  no  mbtake  in  a  goOd 
Kentucky  rifle,  I  tell  you:  Whcse  head  ?  said  I,  in  great 
alami,  whose  head,  Mr»  Slick  t  for  heaven's  sake  what  haVe 
you  done  ?  (for  I  had  been  dreaming  of  those  angelic  politi. 
dans,  the  Americiui  ladies.)  Why  that  are  hen  panndge'v 
14 


hemAt  to  bemre,  aud  he  {  doaH  you  mo  how  siwci&l  wojadmGd 
mae  U  looks,  a  flutterin  about  arter  its  hea4.  Tirue,8ai4  J^ 
tubbing  my  eyes,  and  opeuin^  tb«ai  in  time  to,  ap»  the  \t^ 
muecuiar  apaenip  of  the  decapitated  body ;  true,  Mr.  Sliclci 
it  is  a  happy  illustration  of  our  previous  conversation— ^^r 
a  h)df  tnitkoui  m  head. 


CHAPTER  XXX. 

,  A  TALE  OP  JRJlflfER'S  HILL. 

Mb.  Suck,  lil^  all  his  ooui^mw  whom  I  hi^ve  setfi* 
^  that  his  own  existence  was  inv(4ved  in  i]^i  pf  wf 
Ccmstitution  of  the  United  States,  and  that  U  was  his  4i|U^ 
to  uphold  it  upon  all  occasions.  |Ie  afl^ted  to  coiisidcpr 
Its  0»vernment  and  its  institutions  as  perfect,  aod  if  any 
doubt  was  suggested  as  to  the  stability  or  character  oC 
ekher,  would  make  the  o(MDnmon  regly  o£  all  Americans^ 
fl  guess  you  don^t  understand  us,',  or  else  c^ter  ioto  i| 
labmiiod  defence.  When  left,  however,  to  the  free  ei^i 
piession  of  his  own  thoughts,  he  would  oil^n  giye  utterance 
to  those  apprehensions  which  most  men  &el  in  the  event 
of  an  experioient  not  ^et  laurly  tried,  and  which ,  ^u^i  in 
many  pacts  evidently  disappointed  the  ^anguine  Jbopes  ,q^ 
Us  fHends.  But,  even  on  these  occasions,  when  hi«  ^igi<» 
lance  seemed  to  slumber,  he  would  generally  cover  thom, 
^r  givii^^  Uma  as  the  remarks  of  others,  or  conceaHl^ 
them  in  a  tale.  It  was  this  habit  ihat  gave  his- discourse 
rather  the  appearance  of  thinking  aloud  than  a  conaectfad 
ooBV«rsation. 

We  are  a  great  ration,  Squire,  he  said,  that's  sartin,;  |Mt 
Fmafear'd  we  didn't  altog^her  start  right.  It!s  ^  pcAit^ 
as  in  racin,  evmty  thing  distends  upon  a  icur  start.  If  yqu 
are  <^  too  quick,  you  have  to  pull  up  and  turn  back  agim 
and  ^"our  beast  gets  out  of  wind  and  is  baffled,  and  if  you 
lose  m  the  start  you  han't  got  a  iair  diance  arterwards,  Wfi4 
avs  plaguy  apt  to  b6»  jockied  in  the  courae.    When  we  sei 


A  TJUMtKh  WW*mJ^  HILL. 


■Hi 


\XBtO  9 

ce 
eireot 


i^>  hduieheepfaii^  as  it  "vreve  for  ounelreti  we  hated  our  tHep^ 
mother  OM  Englend,  80  dreadAil  bad,  we  wouldn't  foUer 
any  of  her  ways  of  managiB  at  all*  bat  nMtde  new  rtcaipUi 
for  oarselvet.  Well,  we  ausaed  it  in  many  things  mofl 
consumedly,  acme  how  or  another.  Did  you  ever  fee,  said 
he, a  congregation  split  right  in  two  by  a  quarrel?  and  on« 
part  go  0^  and  set  up  for  themselves.  I.  am  sorry  to  sav» 
said  I,  that  I  have  seen  some  melancholy  instances  of  the 
ki^:''  Well,  they  shoot  ahef|l,  or  drop  astern,  as  the  case 
may  be,  but  they  soon  set  on  another  tack,  and  leave  41ni 
old  ship  dean  out  of  si^t.  When  folks  once  take  to  emi<« 
gratin  in  religion  in  ,this  way,  they  never  know  where  to 
bide.  First  Uiey  try  one  location,  and  then  they  try  an* 
other ;  some  settle  hen  and  some  improve  there,  but  they 
dcm^t  hitch  their  horses  together  long.  Sometimes  they 
omnplain  they  Aoee  too  IlMle  watery  at  other  times  that  th^ 
hav€  too  much  ;  the^  are  never  satilified,  and,  wherevM 
diese  separatists  gOj  they  onsettle  others  as  bad  as  them* 
selves.  I  never  wok  em  a  deoturter  as  any  ffi^eai  sktdtes,  ^ 
My  pow  fadier  used  to  say,  *  Sam,' mind  what  I  tdl  you» 
if  a  man  dooH  wee  in  all  particulars  with  his  church,  aul 
can*t  go  the  whole  hog  with  *em,  he  aint  justified  on  that 
account,  na  how,  to  separate  firom  them,  for  Sam,  **  Sehiem 
i*  a  ein  in  the  eye  of  God."  The  whole  Christian  worid^ 
he  wotild  say,  is  divided  into  two  great  fiunilies,  the  Calho* 
Ke  and  Protestant.  Well^  the  Cath<^  is  a  united  fiuoailyi 
a:  haj^y  faniHy,  and  a  strong  family,  all  governed  by  one 
head  f  and  Sam,  as  sure  as  ^gs  is  ^gs,  that  are  family 
will  grub  outtother  one,  stalk,  branch  and  root,  it  won!t  so 
much  as  leave  the  seed  of  it  in  the  ground^  to  grow  by 
chance  as  a  nateral  curiosity.  Now  the  Protestant  fiimily 
is  like  a  bundle  of  refose  shingles,  when  withered  up  to« 
gether,  (which  it  never  was  and  never  will  be  to  all  etamity) 
no  great  of  a  bundle  urter  all,  you  mi^^t  take  it  up  undes 
one  armt  and  Walk  off  with  it  without  winkin.  But,  wheii 
alt  lyiB  loose  as  it  always  is,  jist  lode  at  it,  and  see  what  a 
sight  it  is,  all  blowin  about  by  every  wind  of  c^octrine,  some 
away  up  sen  a  most  out  of  sight,  others  rolin  over  and  over 
in  the  diirt,  some  split  to  pieees,and  othera  so  warped  by  the 
weather  and  cracked  by  the  sun-~no  two  of  'em  wtil  lie  so 
at  to  makd  a  ctose  jmt.    They  ar«  all  divided  into  aods 


i 


tm 


Uk. 


VHA  0UM«BAKnik<    A 


ruUa,  duarrelin,  sepftrathii  and  agreein  in  nothin,  but  ]Mittii'>  ^ 
MMih  other.  It  is  awful  to  think  on.  Totbdr  fionity  will 
t4me<iay  or  other  gather  them  •i^up,  put  them  intaa  bundle 
and  bind  them  «p  tight,  and  condemn  *«m  as  fit  Ibr  nothin 
voder  the  sun,  but  tm  fire.  Now  he  who  splits  one  of  these 
here  soda  by  schism,  or  he  who^|Hreaehe»  schism,  eomoaits 
a  p;rievous  sm ;  and  Sam,  if  you  valv.  your  own  peace  of 
mmd,  have  nothin  to  do  with  such  folks. 

it's  pretty  much  the  same  vf$  Politics.  I  amt  quite  clear 
in  my  conscience,  Sam,  about  our  glorious  revolotion.  if 
that  are  Mood  was  shed  justly  in  the  rebellion^  then  it  was 
the  Lord's  ddin,  but  if  unlawfully,  how  am  I  to  answer  for 
n^  cdiare  in  it.  I  was  at  Bunker's  Hill  (the^most  ^lendid 
bf^tle  its  generally  allowed  that  erer  wa»  fought)^;  what 
efibot  my  shota^had,  I  can't  tell,  and  1  am  glad  I  can't,  jdl 
Hfuseipit  one,  Sam,  and  that  shot— Here  the  old  ffentlemAA^ 
beeame  dreadful  agitated,  he  shook  like  an  ague  fit^  and  ha. 
walked  up  and  down  the  room,  and  wrung  his  hands,  "UbA 

groaned  bitterly.    I  have  wrastled  with  the  Lord,  Sam,  aBd> 
ave  pruyed  to  him  to  enlighten  me  on  that  pint,  and  to 
,  wash  out  the  stain  of  that  are  blood  firom  my  hands.    1 
never  told  you  that  are  story,  nor  your  mother  neither,; 
for  she  could  not  stand  it,  poor  critter,  she's. kinder  nar«: 
v^ous. 

>^Well,  Doctcnr  Warren,  (the  first  s6ldier  of  his  age,  thought 
he  never  fought  afore,)  commanded  us  all  to  resarve  our 
fire  till  the  British  caaie  within  j^,  Uank  shot,  and  we; 
could  cleverly  see  the  whites  of  their  eyesf  and  we  did 
so— and  we  nK»ved  them  dowii  like  grassi  wad  we  repeat«r 
ed  our  fire  with  awful  e£^-t.  .  I  was  among  the  last  that 
npmaiaed  behind  the  breastwork,  for  most  on  .'em,  art«ri 
tbe  eecond  shot,  cut  and  run  full  split.    The  British  wer» 
eloM  to  lis;  and  an  c^cer,  with  his  sword  drawn^waa 
leading  on  his  men  and  encouragia  them  to  Uie  CMige. 
Lcould  see  his  features^  he  was  a  neH  handsum  manti  can> 
see  him  now  with  hii  white  breeohearand  black  gaifersti 
and  red  coat,  and  three  cornered  codced  hat,  as  plain  as  if  ' 
it  was  yesterday  instead  of  the  year  '75.     Well^  i  took 
a  tteady  aim  at  him  and  fired.    He  didn't  move  for  a  space, 
sad  i  thought  I  had  missed  him,  when  aU  of  a  sudd^  he^ 
spnuBg  right  straight  up  an  e^d,  his  sword  alipt  thn^igh 


•!# 


▲  Tkhu  ^minmii*»  Mill. 


f«r 


Mi  Mtiidii  u^  to  the  pim,  nA  thini  hH  fttt  flit  en  hit  (hoe 
atop  Of  4ito-  Made,  and  U  eame  ftnlight  out  thfough  hiii' 
baeki  Ife  was  Mrly  ilcitw^d.  I  Mfor  Med  any  tMog 
86  ftwflit  sitfce  I  was  raited,  I  MtiHy  teMutied  out  with' 
honror— and  I  threw  away  my  gnn  and  Joined  them  tha^f 
wet«  retreattin  over  tlie  neelc  to  Ch«rlettown.  Htmi  that< 
aiie  British  ofhcerj  if  our  relwUien  wm  onju»t  or  onlawfUli 
vm  murdered,  that's  a  fhetj  and  the  idee,  now  I  am 
gMWin  old,  haunts  me  day  and  night.  Sometimes  I  begin 
with  the  Stamp  Act,  and  1  go  oref  ait  our  grievances,  one 
by  one,  imd  say  aint  they  a  sufficient  justifleition  1  Weil, 
it  makes  a  lokg  list,  and  I  get  kinder  satisfied,  and  it 
appears  as  clear  as  any  thing.  But  sometimes  tliero 
cifme^  doubts  in  my  mind  jist  like  a  guest  that's  not  invited 
or  not  expected,  and  takes  you  at  a  short  like,  and  I  say, 
wamH-tlte  Stamp  Act  repealed^  and  conoesslonfe  made,  and 
wam^t  ofi^  sent  to  settle  all  fliirty— and  I  Aet  troubled 
and  oneasy  agini  And  then  I  say  to  mysell,  says  i,  oh 
yes^  but  them  ofibrs  came  too  lato.  I  do  notbm  now, 
wheti'  I  afiii  iiloaei  but  argue  it  over  and  over  agtak  I^ 
nctiUj  dream  on  that  man  in  my  sleep  sometimes,  and 
th^  I  SCO  him  as  plain  as  if  he  was  afore  me,  and  I  go 
otev'it  att'«gi»  tilt  I  oome  to  that  are  shot,  and  then  1  - 
leap  right  up  in  bed  and  scHwam  like  all  vengeance,  «n4( 
y&ait  mother,  poor  old  critter,  says,  Sam,  savs  sW,  what 
OS  airth  ails  you  to  make  you  act  so  like  oil  Scratch  in 
your  ilt»tip-^  do  believe  there's  somethin  or  another  on 
yc«ir  censcienee.  And  I  stty^  Polly  dear,  I  guesi  We*M  a 
g«^  to  have  neiin,  ibr  that  plaguy  eitto  rheumatis  has  sein- 
ed my  ibot  and  it  deer  antacoiHsv  me  so  I  have  no  peace. 
It  alwayb  does  90  when  it*s  like  ibr  a  change.  t)eM  heart, 
she  says^  (the  poor  simple  critter,)  then  I  guess  I  had  bet- 
ter rub  it,  hadn't  I,  Sam?  and  she  eraWls  eut  of  bed  and 
geUi  her  red  fteunnel  piillk»oat#  and  riibe  away  at  my  jfbot 
ever  so  long.  Oh,  Sam,  if  she  could  rub  it  out  of  my  heart 
as  easy  as  she  thinks  she  rubs  it  out  of  my  foot,  I  should 
be  in  peace,  that's  a  fact. 

^What's  done,  Sam,  can't  be  helped,  there  is  no  use  in 
cryin  over  spilt  milk,  but  still  one  can't  help  a  thinkin  on  it 
Qut  I  don't  love  schisms,  and  I  don't  love  rebellion. 

"  Our  revolution  has  made  us  grow  ikster  and  grow  richer 
14* 


%" 


109 


i>.TI»  OMWKMMIIE* 


:  : 


but,  Sam,  when  we  were  younger  end  poorer,  ireiveM' 
nM>re  ^ious  and  more  liappy*    We  have  nothin  fixed  eithei 
in  reli{^on   or   politica.     What  oonnexioa  there  ought 
to  be  atween  Cburoh  and  State,  I  am  not  availed,  but 
acme  there  ought  to  -be  aa  sura  as  the  Lord  made  Moaes. 
lieUgiojii,  when  left  to  kaelf^  aa  with  m,  growst  loo  > rank,? 
aiod  luxuriant.    Suckera   and   q>routd,  and  Jnteraecling 
"abootf,  i^nd  auperfluoua  wood  make  a  nice  shadyr  tree 
to  loiok  at,  but  where*a  the  firuit,  Sam  1  that's  the  questioa 
-^'Hvhere's  the  firuitY    No{  the  pride  of  human  wndom*^ 
and  the  presumption  it  breeds  will  ruinate  us.    ieSetaoa' 
was  an  infidel,  and  avowed  it,  and  gloried  in  it,  and  called 
it  the  enlightenment  of  the   age.     Cambridge  CoUege 
is  Unitarian,  cause  it  looks  wise  to  doubt,  and  eveiy 
drumstick  of  a  boy  ridicules  the  belief  of  his  foxefathera* 
If  our  country  is  to  be  darkened  by  infidelity,  our  Govera-' 
tmat  d^ed  by  every  State,  and  every  State  ruled  by  moba 
i-T^heii,  Sam,  the  Mood  we  shed  in  our  rev<^ution  will  he 
atoned  ibr  ?n  the  blood  and  su^ring  of  pur  fellow-citicens* 
The  murders  of  that  civil  war  wiU  be  expiated  by>^a  politi 
cal  suicide  of  the  State.*  "  >  i   M  h» 

'  I  am  somewhat  of  &ther*a  opinion,  said  the  Clookmaker, 
tliough  1 4pnH  go  the  whote  figur  widi  ihim,  but  he  needia*! 
hiMW  made  such  an  everlastin  touss  about  fixin  thatr  am ' 
British  (^cer*s  flii^  fi>r  him,  for  he'd  a  difsd  hDnself  hy  this « 
time,!  I  do  .su]npose,  if  he  had  a  missed  hb  shotaihun./ 
Pci^MB  we  might  have  done  a  little  better,  and  praps  we 
mightn't,  b^stickin  a  little  closer  to  the  old.  constitution. 
Ba^  one  thuajg  I  will  sitay,  I  thinks  arterally  your  Colony 
Qjavonunentis  about  as  haf^yand  as  good  a  one  as  I  know 
ouk    A  man's  life  and  property  ara  well  protected  hwe  at  { 
little  cost,  aud,he  can  fp  where  he  likea,  provided  he  don'i 
tmapass  on  his  neighbmir.  ^i"MJi'4m'i'h$ 

iitguees  ibis's  enough  for  any  on  us,  now,  aint  it?    {  meit; 


II: 

6 


•KfWrn 


: 


ouu.iire  A  Kui-ifosi.   ^  HW 

CHAPTEiR  XXXI. 
OULUMQ  A  BLUE.M08C. 

I  ALLOT,  aaid  Mr.  Slick,  that  the  blue-noset  are  the  most 

SlUble  folks  on  the  fiuse  of  the  airth— rigular  soft  horas, 
it's  a  fiust  Politickfi  and  such  stuff  set  *ein  a  gapin,  like 
childrep  in  a  chimbly  corner  listeniii  to  tales  of  ghosts, 
Sidem  witches,  and  Nova  Scotia  snow  stcrnis  ;.  and  while 
the^  stand  starin  and  yawpin,  all  eyes  and  mouUi,  they  get 
their  pockets  picked  of  every  cent  that's  in  *cm. .  One  can- 
didate chq»  says,  *  Feller  citizens,  this  country  is  goin  to 
the  dogs  fannd  over  hand ;  look  at  your  rivers,  you  mive  no 
bridges;  at  your  wild  lands^  you  have  no  roads;  at  your 
treasury,  vou  ainte  ^  a  cent  in  it;  at  your  markets^ 
tlui^  don  t  fetch  notmn ;  at  your  fish,  the  Yankees  ketch 
'em  «U.  There's  nothin  behind  you  but  sufbriui  around 
you  but  poverty,  afore  you  but  slavery  and  death.  What^ 
the  eause  of  this  unheerd  of  awfiil  state  of  thinos,  ay, 
wha;t*s  the  cause  t  Why  Judges,  and  BMiks,  and  Law- 
yers, and  great  folksy  have  swallered  all  the  nxmey. 
'fliey've  gcrt  you  down,  and  they'll  keep  you  down  to  m\ 
etarnityi,  you  and  your  pot^riors  arter  you.  Rise  up,  like 
men,  arouse  yourselves  like  fireemen,  and  elect  me  to  the 
LegUbtur,  and  I'll  lead  on  the  small  but  patriotk:  band,  I'll 
pat  the  big  wios  thro'  their  facins,  I'll  make  ^em  shake  in 
their  shoeSf  I'U  Lnock  off  your  chains  and  make  you  firee.' 
Well,  the  goneys  fiiU  tu  and  elect  him,  and  he  deaeurts  right 
away,  wkh  balls,  rifle,  powder  horn,  and  all.  Hepramued 

(OOSNldk. 

Then  cqmes  a  rael  good  man,  and  an  everlastin  fine 
preacher,  a  most  a  special  spiritual  man,  renounces  tho 
worid,  the  fleidi,  and  tbo  devU,  preaches  and  prayv  dfiy 
and  night,  so  kind  to  the  poor,  and  so  humble,  he  has  no 
more  prMie  Uian  a  babe,  and  so  short-handed,  he's  no  but- 
ter to  his  bread— all  self  denial,  mortifyin  the  flesh.  Well, 
as  soon  as  he  can  work  it,  he  marries  the  richest  gall  in-aU. 
his  iiock,  and  then  his  biead  is  buttered  on  both  sides 
Hevromued  too  much, 
^Then  comes  a  doctor,  and  a  prime  article  itie  is,  too^ 


X 


16(4 


..T 


TRi  «£OdUf Atlll. 


u 


Tve  got,  mys  he,  a  screw  au^r  emetic  and  hot  crop,  and 
if  I  cant  cure  all  iorte  oVth^igs  in  natur,  ray  name  aint 
quack.  Well  be  turns  stomach  and  pocket  both  inside  out, 
and  learer  poor  blue»noMr-Ht  dead  man*  He  promted  ioo 
muck,  ,  ' 

Thtfn  comes  a  LaWyer,  an  honest  lawyer  too,  a*  ra^l 
iiwnder  under  the  sun,  as  straight  as  a  smn^  In  al)  hia 
dealins.  He's  so  hotiest  he  can't  bear  to  he^r  te!l  of 
<!>ther  lawyers,  he  wiifeii  agin  *em,  raves  a^  'em,  votei 
a|pn  'chit  they  are  all  ,rogue8  but  him.  He's  jMt  the 
ihan:  t6  take  a  case  in  hanii,  cause  ke  will  see  justice  done. 
Well,  he  wins  his  ease,  and  fobs  all  fbr  costs,  cause  he'a 
sweim  to  see  justice  done  to— himself.  He  pnmted  to6 
much. 

'  Then  comes  a  Yankee  clockmaker,  (and  here  Mr.  Stick 
liodced  up  and  smfled,)  with  his  *  SoftlSawderip^  and  *^Hu^ 
man-' Natur,* 'and  he  seHs  docks  warranted  tortnrfioni 
July  to  Etamity,  stoppages  included  j  and  T  niust  say  they 
do' run  as  l<»g  as-^-os  long  as  wooden  docks'  comnkmly 
do,  thafs  a  fact.  But  III  show  you  pres^tly  hpw  I  ptrf 
the  leak  into  'etn,  for  here's  a  feller  a  httle  bit  ahead  on  us, 
whose  flint  I've  made  .up  my  nitnd  to  fix-  this  white  pasC, 
Bfere  we  were  nearly  thrown  out  of  the  waggon,  by  the 
breaking  down  of  one  of  those  smaH  wooden  hndaoBf  which 
||>rovB  so  annoying  and  so  dangenms  tp^'tra^dlers.  Did 
you  hear  thait  are  snap,  said  he,  wdli  af'sute  as  fhte.  Til 
brealt  my^  clocks  Over  them  are  etai^a.  i^gbrid^,.  if 
did  Clay  dips  ovnr  tl^m'  art^r  that  ftshioin.'  Them  nxji 
pt^es'areolagirv'treacherousrtjiefy  are  jtst  like^old  Alariiii 
Piitwiice  ]>^good's  teeth,  that  keeps  the  great  Uniteif 
Indq;>endent  I^mopratic  Hotel  at  Squaw  Neck' Crpck^' 
in  Mas8achusett8,*dne,  hcLlf  gone,  and  .tother  half  rotiten 
eends. 

I  thought  you  had  disposed  of  your  lastCfock,  said  Ij  at 
Colchestie|>,  to  Dcac<»i  I^tnt.  So  I  did,  he  r6Dlieq,*the  lasl 
<^  I,  had  to  sell  to  il«ivi,  Imt  |  got  a  few  left  for  cthJ^r  fblks^ 
|«t.  Now  ther^  is  a  man  on  this  road,  onie  Zel[>  Allen,  a 
rael  gemune  skinflint,  a  proper  close  fisted  customer  B^tt 
you'll  Inmost  seib  any  where,  and  one  that's  not  altogi^he|' 
the  stiuigjit  thing  in  his  dealb  neither.  Her  d<At  wiuBt  jokf 
Otoe  ^  live  but  nimaeTf^  and  he's  mighty  htuidsiimtO  me  . 


^ 


OITLUiro  A  ■LUB-VOSI. 


10ft 


•ayin  my  Clocks  «ra  all  a  cheat,  and  that  we  ruinate  tha 
country,  a  drainin  every  drop  of  monev  oat  of  h,  a  callin 
roe  a  Yankee  broom  and  what  not  But  Jt  tante  all  Jut 
Oospel  that  he  laya.  Kow  TU  put «  Clock  on  him  afore 
h^knowi  it,  Fit  go  right  into  him  as  sfick  aa  a  whittle,  and 
day  him  to  the  eend  of  my  line  like  a  trout  1*11  have  a 
book  in  hia  gilla,  while  he*8  a  thinkin  he*a  onljr  cmelliir  at 
tbe  bait  Users  he  is  now,  111  be  darned  if  he  aint,  standin 
afore  his  shop  door,  kwkin  as  strons  as  high  proof  Jamaiky; 
I  guess  HI  whip  out  the  bung  while  he*s  a  kwkin  arter 
the  spicket,  and  praps  heUl  be  notie  o*  the  wia^r  till  he  finds 
it  out,  neither. 

Well,  Squire,  how  do  you  do,  said  he,  how*s  all  at  home  t 
Reasonable  well,  I  ffive  ^ou  thanks,  w(Mi*t  vou  alight  1 
Can't  topday,  said  Mr.  Slick,  Vm  in  a  consiwrable  of  a 
hurry  to  katcK  the  packet,  have  yoU  any  commands  for 
Sow  West?  Vm  goin  to  the  bland,  and  across  the  bay  to 
Windsor.  Any  word  that  way  t  No,  says  Mr.  Allen,  ncme 
that  I  can  think  on,  unless  it  be  to  inquire  how  batter's  goin  i 
they  tell  me  cheese  is  down,  and  unduee  of  all  kind  j^* 
ticuUyr  dull  this  fall.  Well,  Vtti  gUd  I  can  tell  that  question, 
said  Slick,  for  I  don't  calculate  to  return  to  these  parts, 
^butter  is  rasin  a  coat  or  two ;  I  put  mine  off  mind  at  ten- 
pence^  Don't  return  1  possible  I  why,  how  you  talk  T  Havd 
you  dcme  withr  the  dock  trade?  I  guess  I  have,  H  tante 
worth  fdlerin  now.  Most  time,  said  the  other,  larfin,  for 
by  all  accounts  the  clocks  wam't  worth  bavin,  and  most 
imamal  dear  (too,  folks  liegin  to  oet  thdr  e^  6pen.  It 
wam't  needed  in  yopr  case,  said  Mr.  Slick,  with  that  pecu- 
liarly composed  manner  that  indicates  suppressed  feeling, 
for  you  were  always  wide  awake,  if  all  the  folks  had  cut 
tibeir  eye  teeth  as  airly  as  you  (^d,  thdr'd  be  plaguy  few 
clocks  sold  in  these  parts,  I  reckon;  but  you  are  right. 
Squire,  you  may  say  that,  they  actually  were  not  worth 
bavin,  and  that's  the  truth,  llie  filet  is,  said  he,  throwin 
down  liM  reios,  and  affecting  a  most  confidential  tone,  I  fel 
almost  ashamed  of  them  myscdf,  I  tell  you.  The  long  and 
short  of  the  matter  is  jist  this,  they  don't  make  no  {rood 
ones  now-a-days^  no  more,  for  they  calculate  'em  for  aliip- 
pin  and  not  for  home  use.  I  was  all  stmck  up  of  a  heap, 
when  I  seed  the  last  lot  1  got  from  the  States ;  I  was  pro- 


z' 


wm" 


p^W  Ut  by  thenir  you  wnay  depend ;  they  dida*t  ]Niy  ooft; 
for  1  co*'tt!nt  raeomnMnd  tWmrn  with  a  clear  oeaecienoe,  and 
I  muit  aay  I  do  like  a  fiur  deal|  ibr  I'm  straight  up  and 
down,  and  love  to  go  right  ahead^  that's  a  fkct.  Did  yoii 
ever  see  them  i  fetoned  when  1  irst  came,  them  I  sold  over 
the  Bay?  No,  said  Mr.  Ailea,  I  canH  say  I  did.  WeH^ 
osnthuied  ha,  they  mcnr  a  prime  artiolci  1 1^  voa,.  no  mia* 
take  there,  At  fo»  any  matkel,  it*s  generally  allewed  theni 
aintthe  beat  of  them  lo  be  found  any  where.  I#  vou  want 
a  elook,  and  ran  lay  your  hands  on  one  of  thenj  I  advis|^ 
you  not  lo  let  so  the  chance;  yeu'II  knew  'em  by  tl^ 
*  Lowell'  mark,  for  they  were  all  made  at  Judge  BehMr's  ftic« 
tory.  Squire  I^Mpody,  down  to  five  Islandb,  axed  me  to 
get'him  one,  aiid  a  special  job  I  had  of  it,  near  about  ihore 
•arch  arter  it  than  it  was  worth,  but  I  did  get  him  one,  and 
a  partioular  handsum  one  it  is,  copald  and  gilt  superior.  I 
goeas  it's  worth  ary  half*do>en  in  these  parts,  let  tothers  bd 
whwe  they  may.  If  I  could  a  got  supplied  m^  the  like  o^ 
^hem,  I  coold  a  made  a  naadspec  out  of  them,  for  thj^ 
took  at  ionce,  and  went  en  quidc.  Have  you  got  it  widn 
you,  said  Bfr.  Allen,  I  should  like  to  See  it^  Yes,  I  have  ¥1 
here,  all  done  v^  in  tow,  as  anug  as  a  bird^s  egg,  to  keep  it 
firom  Jarrin,  for  it  hurts  *em  consumedhr  to  jolt  *em  over 
them,  am  etamal  woodent  bridges^  But  it's  no  use  to  take  if 
out,  it  aint  for  sale,  if  s  btopake,  and  I  woulda*4  take  the  sam«i 
trauUe  td  get  another  for  twiedtv  dollars.  The  only  emf 
that  I  know  of  that  there's!  any  elwnce  of  gettin,  is  one  that 
Increase  Cbrane  hat  up  to  Wilmot,  thvy  say  he's  a  sellhk 
off. 

.  Alter  a  good  deal  of  persuasion,  Mr.  Slick  unpacked  the 
dock,  but  protested  against  his  asking  for  it,  for  it  wav  not 
^.sa^.    It  was  then  exhibited^  every  part  explained  axt& 

Sraiaedy  as  new  in  invention  and  perfect  in  workmanship.' 
Tow  Mr.  Alloa- had  a  very  ezaUed  opinion  of  Squire  She- 
pody'a  tasta,  judgment^  and:  saving  knowledge ;  and,  av  if' 
ufas  the  last  andoaJy  chance  of  gettin-a  takSk  of  sacb-8U«^ 
p«r»», quality,  he  omred  to  take  it  at  the  price  tie  Sqntlv 
was  to  t  have  it,  at  seven  pounds  tea  shiHings.  But  Mr 
Slick  vowed  he  pouidn't  part  with  it  at  no  rate,  he  didn't 
icnow  where  he  ootdd  get  the  like  agin^  (for  he  wamH  quite 


QUUUI*  A  ■LUBxIIOaB. 


Hi 


Mira  ftbout  InoreMe  Crane't)  td  the  Squiiv  would  be  eoti- 
taundad  diMippoiiitad,  he  oouldaH  thuds  of  h.  In  propor- 
tioo  tiQkJf»  dimcultiest  roee  the  udor  of  Mr.  Allen,  hie  omra 
advuiAd  to  £9.  to  £8  lOe.,  to  £9.  1  vow,  eaid  Mr.  Slick, 
Iwieb  I  h«daH  ietoothetlhadkatall.  I  don't  like  to 
llPefiiae  you,  but  where  am  I  to  gel  the  liket  after  inueh  die- 
ounioB  of  a  eimilar  nature,  he  coneented  to  par  with  the 
olock,  though  with  great  aoparent  reluetanoe,  and  pocketed 
the  money  with  a  protoet  that,  coet  what  it  would,  he  should 
have  to^  procure  another,  for  he  oouldn*t  tlrink-t>f  putting 
the  Squire*e  pipe  out  arter  that  fiwhion,  for  he  waa  a  very 
clever  man,  and  as  fair  as  a  bootjack. 

Now,  said  Mr.  Slick,  as  we  procwdglMn  our  way,  that 
are  felbw  is  properly  served,  he  got  iVmoet  inferior  arti> 
de  I  had,  and  I  jist  doubled  the  price  m  him.  It's  a  pity 
he  should  be  a  tellin  of  lies  of  the  Yankees  all  the  time, 
this  will  help  him  now  to  a  little  grain  of  truth.  Then 
mimicking  his  voice  and  manner,  he  repeated  Allen's  words 
with  a  strong.nasal  twang,  *  Most  time  for  you  to  ^ve  over 
the  clock  trade,  I  guess,  lor  by  nil  accounts  they  amt  worth 
havin,  and  most  ii^amal  dear  too,  folks  begin  to  get  their 

J  yes  open.'  Better  for  -you,  if  you'd  a  Iwd  youm  open, 
reckon ;  a  joke  is  a  joke,  but  I  ooncait  you'll  find  that 
no  joke.  The  next  time  you  tell  stories  about  Yankee  ped- 
l^s,  jMit  the  wooden  clock  in  with  the  wooden  punkin  seeds, 
aiad  Hickory  hams,  will  yoo  ?  The  blue>noeee.  Squire,  ai^ 
all  like  Zeb  Allen,  they  think  they  know  every  thing,  bat 
•they  get  gulled  from  year's  eend  to  year's  eend.  They 
expect  too  much  from  others,  and  do  too  little  for  them- 
a^^ves.  They  actilly  expect  the  sun  to  shine,  and  the  rain 
to  folia  Uirough  their  little  House  of  Assembly.  Whet  have 
you  don^  for  us  1  they  ke^  axin  their  members.  Who  did 
you  spunk  up  -to  last  8esn<m  t  jist  as  if  all  legislation  con* 
sisted  in  attackin  some  half  dozen  puss  proud  folks  at  Hali- 
ftz,  wlio  pire  jiM  as  big  noodles  as  tiiey  be  tlmnselves. 
You  bear  noti^  but  politics,  politics,  politics,  one  everlastin 
sound  of  give^  give,  give.  If  I  was  Governor  I'd  give  'em 
the  butt  end  of  my  mind  on  the  aubjeot,  I'd  crack  their 
pates  till.  J  let  some  light  in  'em,  if  it  was  me,  I  know.  I'd 
say  to  the  members,  don!t  oome  down,  here  to  Hali&x  with 


•^< 


Mftmrn  cLocmumwau* 


Vl#8 

.your  IdcknniM  about  politka,  imking  a  gfMt  touw  abotat 
,  aM>thui,  but  open  the  eountry,  feeler  acricultur,  eneoumge 
„  trade,  iooorpOTale  conqieniee,  make  bnikne,  MXil^ib  eon- 
,  veyaooe*  and  aboire  all  things  make  a  rauroad  from  Wind- 
,  aor  to  Halifax ;  and  mind  niiat  I  tell  prou  now,  write  it 
.  down  Su  fear  you  should  forget  it,  for  it's  a  feetj  and  ff 

you  doo*t  believe  me,  TU  lick  you  till  you  do,  for  there  aint 
•a  word  ofra  lie  in  it,  by  Oum:  One  miek  work  ««  the 
,  Windsor  Bridge  ie  waiik  nU  your  fatM,  votet,  epeeckee, 
*mnd  reeoiuHonst  Jor  the  laei  Un  peare,  if  Htd  np  and  ftit 

into  a  ffieal  bag  together.    If  ii  lonte,  /  Kofe  1  May  he 

ekot. 


■y  f. 


i 


it%i 


CHAPTER  XXXII. 
TOO  MANY  IRONA  IN  THE  nRB. 


din 


Wa  had  a  pleasant  sail  of  three  hours-from  Pnnrsboroug^ 
,to  Windsor.  The  arrivals  and  dqwrtures  by  water  aito 
'^  regulated  at  this  place  by  the  tide,  and  it  was  sunset  befoi^ 
we  reached  Mrs.  Wiloox*s  comfortable  inn.  Here,  as  at 
other  plaoee,  Mr.  Slick  seemed  to  be  perfeotlv  at  home ;  and 
he  Dointed  to  a  wooden  clock,  as  a  proof  of  his  suocesefhl 
and  extended  trade,  and  of  the  universal  influence  of  *  soft 
sawder,*  and  a  knowledge  of  *  human  natur.'  Taking  out 
a  penknife,  he  cut  off  a  splinter  from  a  stick  of  firewood, 
.and  balancing  himself  on  one  leg  of  his  diair,  by  the  aid 
of  his  rig^t  foot,  commenced  his  favourite  amusement  Of 
whittling,  which  he  generally  pursued  in  silence.  Indeed 
it  appeared  to  ha^e  become  with  him  an  indispoisaMB 
accompaniment  of  reflection.  - 

.  He  sat  in  this  abstracted  manner,  until'  he  had  mano* 
Actured  into  delicate  shavings  the  whcde  of  his  raw  material, 
when  he  very  deliberately  resumed  a  positioa  of  morl  e«e6 
and  security,  by  resting  his  legs  on  two  chairs  instead  of 
<me,  and  putting  both  his  feet  on  the  mantelpiece.  Hmdi, 
Hunting  his  cigar,  he  said  in  his  usual  quiet  mann^^ 


TOO  MAJIY  IKORt  IM    THB  nRB. 


IM 


eneokilige 
ililtto  e«ti- 
roSrWind. 
Wt  write  it 

iusit  M^V 
rtlMPettlnt 

mpafdm 


had  nwna- 
iwimterittl, 

infltead  of 
.    Then, 
kiet  mannery 


*  Thongs  A  plaguy  sight  of  truth  in  them  are  old  proverbs. 
They  are  distilled  facts  steamed  down  to  an  essence.  Thev 
are  uke  portable  soup,  an  amaain  deal  of  matter  in  a  small 
compass.  Tl^y  are  what  I  valy  most,  experience.  Father 
used  to  say*.  I'd  as  lives  have  an  old  homespun,  self-taughr 
doctor  as  are  a  Professor  in  the  College  at  Philadelphia  or 
New  York  to  attend  me ;  for  what  they  do  know,  the^ 
know  b^  experience,  and  not  by  books ;  and  experience  i8 
evervtlung,  it's  bearin,  and  seein,  and  trvin,  and  arter  that . 
a  feller  roust  be  a  bora  fool  if  he  don't  know.  That's  the 
beauty  of  old  proverbs ;  they  are  as  true  as  a  plum  line, 
and  as  short  and  sweet  as  sugair  candy.  Now  when  yoU 
come  to  see  all  about  this  country,  you'll  find  the  truth  of 
that  are  one—*  a  man  thai  haa  too  many  irona  in  the  Jire^ 
ii  jflaguy  apt  to  get  tome  on  'em  burnt  J 

Do  you  recollect  that  are  tree  I  show'd  you  to  Parrsboro', 
it  was  all  covered  with  black  knobst  Uke  a  wart  rubbed  with 
caustic.  Well,  the  plum  trees  had  the  same  disease  a  few 
years  aoo,  and  they  dl  died,  and  the  cherry  trees  I  concait 
will  go  for  it  too.  The  farms  here  are  all  covered  with  the 
same  *  black  knobtt*  and  they  do  look  like  old  Scratch.  If 
you  see  a  place  all  oone  to  wrack  and  ruin,  it's  mortgaged 
you  may  depend.  The  *  black  knob''  is  on  it.  'My  plan, 
you  know,  is  to  ax  leave  to  put^a  clock  in  a  house,  and  let 
U  be  till  I  return.  I  never  say  drword  about  sellin  it,  for  I 
know  when  I  come  back,  they  won't  let  it  go  arter  they  are 
once  used  to  it.  Well,  wheal  first  came,  I  knowed  no  one, 
and  I  was  forced  to  incluire  whether  a  man  was  good  for  it, 
afore  I  left  it  with  him;  so  I  made  a  pint  of  axin  all  about 
every  man's  place,  that  lived  on  the  road.  Who  lives  up 
there  in  the  big  house?  says  I — it's  a  nice  location  that,,, 
pretty  considerable  improvements,  them.  Why,  Sir,  that*s 
A.  B.'s ;  he  was  well  to  do  in  the  world  once,  carried  a  stiff 
upper  lip  and  keered  for  no  one ;  he  was  one  of  our  grand 
anistocrats,  wore  a  long-tailed  coat,  and  a  rufHed  shirt,  bu< 
he  must  take  to  ship  buildin,  and  has  gone  to  the  dogs.  Oh, 
said  I,  too  many  irons  in  the  fire.  Well,  tlie  next  farm/ 
where  the  pisn  are  in  the  potatoe  field,  whose  is  that  1  Oh 
iSir,  that's  C.  D.^. ;  he  was  a  considerable  forehanded  fanner, 
as  any  in  our  nlaG(>,  but  he  sot  up  for  an  Assembly -nian, 

1(>        ' 


^.. 


170 


flu  <)LOCfKlUXllU 


*    I 


vnd  op^ied  a  itoft,  and  things  went  agin  him  somehow,  hi 
Iwd  m  \mk  arl@fwards<  I  hear  his  place  is  mortgaged 
and  th©yV©  get  hifli  dted  in  chancery.  *  7%«  black  knch 
h  m  mm^  iaid  I<  The  bkck  what,  Si?,  says  blue-nose 
Nothin,  sayi  I,  JBut  the  next,  who  improves  that  housdl 
Why  tbat'^a  E.  f*§,  l  he  was  the  greatest  farmer  in  thes^ 
\mH»,  aiK9tb@f  df  th@  aristOv'^racy,  had  a  most  noble  stock 
0*  (mitkt  and  tb@  tmiler  of  t^ome  hundreds  out  in  jint  notes? 
well  h@  leek  th§  contract  for  beef  with  the  droops ;  jand 
hi9  fell  aftarni  m  I  gu^s  it's  a  gone  goose  with  him.  He's 
heavy  wiertgagad.  *  Too  many  irons' agin,  said  I.  Who 
livm  te  tha  lln  th^re?  that  man  has  a  most  special  fine 
Interyalst  aod  a  graad  orchard  too,  he  must  be  a  good  mark 
thflt»  Wall  h©  waa  oflce,>Sir,  a  lew  years  ago;  but  he 
built  a  AiUia  mill,  and  a  cardin  mill,  and  put  up  a  lumber 
«*tftblJ§hffleflt,  afld  spectilatect  in  the  West  Indy  line,  but 
the  dam  wai  mrrki  away  by  the  freshets,  the  lumber  fell, 
and  fhith  ba  Ml  tee  |  he's  shot  up,  he  han't  been  see'd  tliese 
tW9  y§ap»,  bis  fefm  is  a  common,  and  fairly  run  out.  Oh, 
said  If  I  und@f§tafld  now,  my  man,  these  folks  had  too  many 
Irons  in  tha  fifg,  yeu  S€fe,  and  some  on  'em  have  got  burnt. 
I  navaf  heard  tall  of  It,  says  blue-nose;  they  might,  but 
not  to  my  kflowladga  i  and  he  scratched  his  head  and  looked 
as  if  ha  wauld  alk  the  meanin  of  it,  but  didn't  like  to. 
Arter  that  I  axad  m  more  questions ;  I  knew  a  mortpagt-* 
^rm  mfktM  1  aauld  see  it.  There  was  a  strong  mmily 
likenaas  in  *§m  aU'-=«tha  same  ugly  features,  the  same  cast 
0*  eauntafianaa<  Tha  *  black  knob'  was  discernible— there 
was  m  mistaka— bara  doors  broken  off— fences  burnt  up-~ 
g\m§  mi  af  wi»dew«^--«tlore  white  crops  than  green— *and 
Mb  leaking  waady— ~no  wood  pile,  no  sarce  garden,  no 
cempest,  m  sieek=»ni0Ss  in  the  mowin  lands,  thistles  in  the 
pieugbad  landii  and  neglect  every  where — ^skinnin  had 
eenimanaad^-takin  all  out  and  puttin  nothin  in— gittin  ready 
ibf  a  ffleva;  m  at  to  Uaite  nothin  behind.  Flittin  time  had 
aome*  Fefagatbarini  ht  foreclosin.  Preparin  to  curse  and  < 
quit*— 'That  laaUti&l  river  we  came  up  to  day,  what  super- 
nna  (kmm  it  bai  m  bath  sides  of  it,  hante  it  ?  it's  a  aighi 
to  hebeid*  Our  Mk§  have  no  notion  of  such  a  country  so 
(kf  dewn  mst,  bayend  creation  most,  as  Nova  Scotia  is.  If 
I  was  te  draw  up  an  account  of  it  for  the  Slickville  Gazette  • 


f  TOO  MAWT  ItOlfS  IN   THB  HRB.  \li\ 

I  guess  few  would  accept  iC  as  a  bona  fide  draft,  without 
some  sponsible  man  to  fndj(»rse  it,  that  warnt  given  to  flam- 
min.  They'd  say  there  was  a  land  speculation  to  the  bottom 
c^  it,  or  a  water  privilege  to  put  into  the  market,  or  a 
plaister  rock  to  get  oif,  o»  some  such  scheme.  They  would 
1  snore.  But  I  hope  I  may  never  see  daylight  agin,  if 
there's  sich  a  country  in  all  our  great  nation,  as  the  vt-cin- 
ity  of  Windsor. 

Now  its  jist  as  like  as  not,  some  goney  of  a  blue-nose^ 
■that  see'd  us  from  his  fields,  sailin  all  up  full  split,  with  la 
fair  wind  on  the  packet,  went  right  off  home  and  said  to  bis 
wife,  *  Now  do  for  gracious  sake,  mother,  jist  look  here,  and 
aee  how  slick  them  folks  go  along ;  and  that  Captain  has 
nothin  to  do  all  day,  but  sit  straddle  legs  across  his  tiller, 
and  order  about  his  sailors,  or  talk  like  a  gentleman  to  his 
ipassengers :  he's  got  most  as  easy  a  time  of  it  as  Ami 
Cuttle  has,  since  he  took  up  the  fur  trade,  a  snarin  rabbits. 
I  guess  I'll  buy  a  vessel,  and  leave  the  lads  to  do  the  plowin 
and  little  chores,  they've  growed  up  now  to  4)e  considerable 
lumps  of  boys.  Well  away  he'll  go,  hot  foot,  (for  I  know 
the  critters  better  nor  they  know  themselves)  and  he'll  go 
and  buy  some  old  wrack  of  a  vessel,  to  carry  plaister,  and 
mortgage  his  farm  to  pay  for  her.  The  vessel  will  jam 
him  up  tight  for  repairs  and  new  riggin,  and  the  Sheriff 
will  soon  pay  him  a  visit ;  (and  he's  a  most  particular  trou- 
Uesome  visiter  that ;  if  ho  once  only  gets  a  slight  how*d'ye- 
do  acquaintance,  he  becomes  so  amazin  intimate  arter wards, 
a  comin  in  without  knockin,  and  a  runnin  in  and  out  at  all 
hours,  and  makin  so  plaguy  free  and  easy,  its  about  as 
^much  as  a  bargain  if  you  can  get  clear  of  him  arterwards.) 
Benipt  by  the  tide,  and  benipt  by  the  Sheriff,  the  vessel 
makes  short  work  with  him.  Well,  the  upshot  is,  the 
.farm  gets  neglected  while  Captain  Cuddy  is  to  sea  a  drogin 
4>f  plaister.  The  thistles  run  over  his  grain  fields,  his  cat- 
itle  run  over  his  hay  land,  the  ihterest  runs  over  its  time, 
the  mortgage  runs  over  all,  and  at  last  he  jist  runs  over  to 
the  lines  to  Eastport,  himself.  And  when  he  finds  himself 
■there,  a  standin  in  the  street,  near  Major  Pine's  tavern,  with 
his  hands  in  his  trowser  pockets,  a  chasin  of  a  stray  shillin 
fiom  ono  oend  of  'em  to  another,  afore  he  can  catch  it,  to 


m 


,.AM 


THE  OLOOKMAKiat. 


swap  for  a  dinner,  wont  he  look  like  a  ravia  distracted  fool 
that  8  all  ?  He*il  feel  about  as  streaked  as  I  did  onoS)  a 
ridin  down  the  St.  John  river.  It  was  the  fore  part  of 
March — I'd  been  up  to  Fredericton  a  speculatin  in  a  small 
matter  of  lumber,  and  was  retumin  to  the  city,  a  gallopin 
along  on  one  of  old  Buntin's  horses,  on  the  ice,  and  all  at 
once  I  missed  my  horse,  he  went  right  slap  in  and  slid 
under  the  ice  out  of  sight  as  quick  as  wink,  and  there  I  was 
a  standin  all  alone.  Well,  says  I,  what  |he  dogs  has  be- 
come of  my  horse  and  portmantle  1  they  have  given  me  a 
proper  dodge,  that's  a  fact.  That  is  a  narrer  squeak,  it 
fairly  bangs  all.  Well,  I  guess  he'll  feel  near  about  as 
ugly,  when  he  finds  himself  brought  up  all  standin  that 
way ;  and  it  will  come  so  sudden  on  him,  he'll  say,  why  it 
aint  possible  I've  lost  farm  and  vessel  both,  in  tu  tu's  that 
way,  but  I  don't  see  neither  on  'em.  Eastport  is  near  about 
all  macle  up  of  fbiks  who  have  had  to  cut  and  run  for  it. 

I  was  down  there  last  fall,  and'  who  'should  I  see  but 
Thomas  Rigby,  of  Windsor.  He  knew"  me  the  rniait  he 
laid  eyes  upon  me,  for  I  had  sold  him  a  clock  the  summer 
afore.  (I  got  paid  for  it,  though,  for  I  see'd  he  had  too 
many  irons  in  the  fire  not  to  get  some  on  'em  burnt;  and 
besides,  I  knew  everyfall  and  spring  the  wind  set  in  for  the 
lines  from  Windsor,  very  strong — a  regular  trade  wind— 
a  sort  of  monshune,  that  blows  all  one  wcy,  for  a  long  time 
without  shiflin.)  Well,  I  felt  proper  sorry  for  him,  for  he 
was  a  very  clever  man,  and  looked  cut  up  dreadfully,  and 
2imazin  down  in  the  mouth.  Why,  says  I,  possible  1  is  that . 
you  Mr.  Rigby  ?  why,  as  I  am  alive !  if  that  aint  my  old 
friend — why  how  do  you  ?  Hearty,  I  thank  you,  said  he, 
how  be  you  ?  Reasonable  well,  I  give  you  thanks,  says  I , 
but  what  on  airth  brought  you  here  ?  Why,  says  he,  Mr. 
Slick,  I  couldn't  well  avoid  it ;  times  are  uncommon  dull 
over  the  bay ;  there's  nofhin  stirrin  there  this  year,  and 
never  will  I'm  thinkin.  No  mortal  soul  can  live  in  Nova 
Scotia.  I  do  believe  that  our  country  was  made  of  a  Satur- 
day night)  arter  all  the  rest  of  the  Univarse  was  finished. 
One  half  of  it  has  got  all  the  ballast  of  Noah's  ark  thrown 
out  there ;  and  the  other  half  is  eat  up  by  Bankgrs,  Law- 
yers, and  other  great  folks.     All  our  money  goss  to  pay 


TOO  MAN7  IRONS  19   TUB  FIRE. 


17* 


and 


salaries,  and  a  poor  man  has 'no  chance  at  all.  Well,  says 
J^  are  you  done  up  stock  aad  fluke — ajotal  wrack?  No, 
says  he,  I  have  two  hundred  pounds  lefl  yet  to  the  good, 
but  my  farm,  stock,  and  utensils,  them  young  blood  horses, 
and  the  bran  new  vessel  I  was  a  buildin,  are  all  gone  to 
pot,  .swept  as  clean  as  &  thrashin  floor,  that's  a  fact ;  Shark 
and  Co.  took  all.  Well,  says  I,  do  you  know  the  reason 
of  all  that  misfortini  Oh,  says  he,  any  fool  can  tell  that; 
bad  times  to  be  sure— every  thing  has  turned  agin  the  coun- 
try, the  banks  have  it  all  their  own  way,  and  much  good 
may  it  do  'em.  Well,  says  I,  what's  the  reason  the  banks 
doa't  eat  us  up  too,  for  I  guess  they  are  as  hungry  as 
yourn  be,  and  no  way  particular  about  their  food  neither ; 
considerable  sharp  set — cut  like  razors,  you  may  depend. 
I'll  tell  you,  says  I,  how  you  got  that  are  slide,  that  sent 
you  heels  over  head—'  You  had  too  many  irons  in  thejire.^ 
X  ou  hadn't  ought  to  have  taken  hold  of  ship  buildin  at  all, 
you  knowed  nothin  about  it?  you  should  have  stuck  to 
your  farm,  and  your  Jarm  would  have  stuck  to  you.  Now 
go  back,  afore  you  spend  your  money,  go  up  to  Douglas, 
and  you'll  buy  as  good  a  farm  for  two  hundred  pounds  as 
what  you  lost,  and  see  to  that,  and  to  that  only,  and  you'll 
grow  rich.  As  for  banks,  they  can't  hurt  a  country  no, 
great,  I  guess,  except  by  breakin,  and  I  concait  there's  no 
fear  of  yourn  breakin ;  and  as  for  lawyers,  and  th  -^t  kind 
o'  heavy  coaches,  give  'em  half  the  road,  and  if  th  y  run 
agin  you,  take  the  law  of  'em.  Undivided,  unremi  iiv.  at- 
tention paid  Jo  one  thing f  in  ninety-nine  cases  out  oj  a  him- 
dredf  will  ensure  success;  but  you  know  the  old  sayin 
ahout  *  too  many  irons.* 

Now,  says  I,  Mr.  Rigby,  what  o'clock  is  it  1  W  hy,  says 
he,  the  moon  is  up  a  piece,  I  guess  it's  seven  o'clock  or 
thereabouts.  I  suppose  it's  time  to  be  a  mOvin.  Stop,  says 
I,  jist  come  with  me,  I  got  a  rael  nateral  curiosity  to  show 
you — such  a  thing  as  you  never'  laid  your  eyes  on  in  Nova 
Scotia,  I  know.  So  we  walked  along  towards  the  beach , 
Now,  says  I,  look  at  that  are  man,  old  Lunar,  and  his  son, 
a  sawin  plank  by  moonlight,  for  that  are  vessel  on  tho 
stocks  there ;  come  agin  to  morrow  mornin  afore  you  can 
cleverly  discarn  objects  the  matter  of  a  yard  or  so  afore 

'15*  ,^      .   :      -         :_..    ,./-_>.:_; 


iT4 


TRl  OIiOOXM.IKER. 


:  h 


you,  and  you  11  find  *em  at  it  agin.  I  guess  that  ve 
wont  ruinate  those  folks.  They  hum  their  hurineu  and 
stick  to  it.  Well,  away  went  Rigby,  considerable  sulky, 
{(or  he  had  no  notion  that  it  was  his  own  fault,  he  laid  all 
the  blame  on  the  folks  to  Halifax,)  but  I  guess  he  was  a 
little  grain  posed,  for  back  he  went,  and  bought  to  Sowack 
where  I  hear  he  has  a  better  farm  than  he  had  afore. 

I  mind  once  we  had  an  Irish  gall  as  a  dairy  help  ;  well 
we  had  a  wicked  devil  of  a  cow,  and  she  kicked  over  the 
milk  pail,  and  in  ran  Dora,  and  swore  the  Bogle  did  it  ,*  jist 
so  poor  Rigby,  he  wouldn't  allow  it  to  be  nateral  causes, 
but  laid  it  all  to  politics.  Talkin  of  Dora,  puts  me  in  mind 
of  the  galls,  for  she  warnt  a  bad  lookin  heifer  that :  my ! 
what  an  eye  she  had,  and  I  concaited  she  had  a  particular 
small  foot^and  ankle  too,  when  I  helped  her  up  once  into 
the  hay  mow,  to  sarch  for  eggs ;  but  I  cant  exactly  say,  for 
when  she  brought  'em  in,  mother  shook  her  ht;ad  and  said 
it  was  dangerous ,  she  said  she  might  fall  through  and  hurt 
herself,  and  always  sent  old  Snow  artyrwards.  She  was  a 
considerable  of  a  long  headed  woman,  was  mother,  she 
could  see  as  far  ahead  as  most  folks.  She  warnt  bom  yes- 
terday,  I  guess.  But  that  are  proverb  is  true  as  respects 
the  galls  too.  Whenever  yo  see  one  on  'em  with  a  whole 
lot  of  sweethearts,  it's  an  even  chance  if  she  gets  married 
to  any  on  'em.  One  cools  off,  and  another  cools  off,  and 
before  she  brings  any  one  on  'em  to  the  right  weldin  heat, 
the  coal  is  gone  and  the  fire  is  out.  Then  she  may  blow 
and  blow  till  she's  tired  j  she  may  blow  up  a  dust,  but  the 
deuce  of  a  flame  can  she  blow  up  agin  to  save  her  soul 
alive.  I  never  see  a  clever  lookin  gall  in  danger  of  thf  t, 
I  don't  long  to  whisper  in  her  ear,  you  dear  little  critt(;r, 
you,  take  care,  you  have  too  many  irons  in  the  Jire^  some 
on  'em  v>iU  get  stone  cold,  and  tother  one^tpill  get  burnt  so 
they^ll  never  be  no  good  in  natur.  ^ 


.1 


:(•. 


WllTDSOft  AMD  THI  WAR  WIIT 


tas  and 
sulky, 
laid  all 
)  was  a 
k>wack 

3. 

p  ;  Well 
rrcr  the 
I  it ;  jist 
causes, 
in  mind 
It:  my! 
irticular 
ace  into 
'  say,  for 
and  sdid 
and  hurt 
he  was  a 
her,  she 
om  yes- 
respects 
a  whole 

married 

off,  and 
lin  heat, 
lay  hlow 

but  the 
her  soul 

of  thf  I, 

critt<;r, 

irff,  somf 

mmt  90 


iisfr-^^.  Irj;* 


CHAPTER  XXXIIL 
WINDSOR  AND  TUB  FAB  WEiT. 

Thjb  -text  momin  the  Cloekmakisr  proposed  to  tak^  a 
dave  roand  the-  neighbourhood.  You  nadTn't  out,  says  he, 
to  be  in  a  hurry ;  you  should  urn  tho  vieinity  of  this  ipca- 
tioD  ;  there  aint  the  beat  of  it  to  be  found  anywhere. 

While  the  servants  were  hame»iing  old  Clay,  we  went  to 
see  a  new  bridge,  which  had  recently  been  erected  over  the 
Avon  Riven  That,  said  he,  is  a  tpt^id  thing.  A  New 
Yorker  built  it,  and  the  folks  in  St.  John  paid  for  it.  You 
mean  of  Halifax,  said  I ;  St.  John  is  in  tn0  other  province. 
I  mean  what  I  say,  he  replied,  and  it  Is  a  eredit  to  New 
Brunsvick.  No,  Sir,  the  Halifax  folks  neither  know  lor 
keer  much  about  the  country—they  wouldn't  take  hold  on 
it,  and  if  they  had  a  waited  for  them,  it  would  have  been 
one  while  afore  they  got  a  bridge,  I  tell  you.  They've  no 
^irit,and  plaguy  little  sympathy  with  the  country,  and  PU 
tell  you  the  reason  on  it.  There  are  a  greaf  ^any  people  there 
from  other  parts,  and  always  have  been,  who  ipme  to  make 
money  and  nothin  else,  who  don't  eall  it  homo,  and  don'l 
feel  to  home,  and  who  intend  to  up  killoch  and  off,  as  soon 
as  they  have  r^ade  their  ned  out  of  the  blue-noses.  They 
have  got  about  as  much  regard  for  the  country  m  a  pedlar 
has,  who  trudges  along  with  a  pack  on  hia  back.  He  walkay 
cause  he  intends  to  ride  at  last ;  truitBf  cause  he  intends  to 
8ue  at  last ;  arnilet,  cause  he  intends  to  ekeat  at  last ;  mnea 
all,  cause  he  intends  to  move  all  at  lait.  Iti  actilly  over 
run  with  transient  paupers,  and  frsniient  sptCMlators,  and 
these  last  grumbls%iid  grow!  like  a  bear  with  a  sore  iiead, 
the  whole  blessed  time,  at  every  thiiig;  and  can  hardly 
keep  a  civil  tongue  in  their  head,  while  they're  fobbin  your 
money  hand  over  hand.  These  crittem  fm\  no  interest  in 
any  thing  but  cent  per  cent  (  tbev  deaden  public  spirit; 
they  han't  got  none  themselves,  and  they  larf  at  it  in  others ; 
and  when  you  add  their  numbori  to  the  timid  ones,  the 


*. 

•»;, 


m 


TRA  CL'MKMAKBR. 


Stingy  ones,  the  ignorant  ones,  and  the  poor  ones,  that  are 
to  be  found  in  every  place,  why  the  few  smart  spirited 
ones  that's  lefl,  are  too  few  to  do  any  thing,  and  so  ncthin 

is  done.     It  appears  to  me  if  I  was  a  biue-nose  Pd 

but  thank  fortin  I  aint,  so  I  says  nothin-^but  there  is  scnne- 
thin  that  aint  altogether  jist  right  in  this  country,  that's  a 
fact. 

But  what  a  country  this  Bay  country  is,  isn't  it  ?  Look 
at  tha(  medder,  beant  it  lovely  1  The  Prayer  Eyes  of  the 
Illanoy  are  the  top  of  the  ladder  with'  us,  but  these  dykes 
take  the  shine  off  them  by  a  long  chalk,  that's  sartin. 
The  land  in  our  far  west,  it  is  generally  allowed  can't  be 
no  better ;  what  you  plant  is  sure  to  grow  and  yield  well, 
and  food  is  so  cheap,  you  can  live  there  for  half  nothiu. 
But  it  don't  agree  with  us  New  England  folks ;  v>e  don't 
enjoy  good  health  there  ;  and  what  in  the  world  is  the  use 
of  food,  if  you  have  such  an  etamal  dyspepsy  you  can't 
digest  it.  A  man  can  hardly  live  there  till  next  grass, 
afore  he  is  in  the  yaller  leaf.  Just  like  one  of  our  bran 
new  vessels  built  down  in  Maine,  of  the  best  hackmatack, 
<»  what's  better  still,  of  our  real  American  live  oak,  (and 
that's  allowed  to  be  about  the  best  in  the  world)  send  her 
o^  to  the  West  Indies,  and  let  her  lie  there  awhile,  and  the 
worms  will  ruidle  her  bottom  all  full  of  holes  like  a  tin  cul- 
lender, or  a  m>ard  with  a  grist  of  duck  shot  thro'  it,  you 
wouldn't  believe  what  a  bore  they  be.  Well,  that's  jist  the 
case  with  the  western  climate.  The  heat  takes  the  solder 
out  of  the  knees,  and  elbows,  weakens  the  joints,  and 
makes  the  frame  ricketty.  / 

Besides,  we  like  the  smell  of  the  Salt  Water,  it  seems 
kinder  nateral  to  \)%  N<  -y  Englanderi^.  We  can  make 
more  a  plowin  of  iln:  sei*s»,  than  plowin  of  a  prayer  eye. 
It  would  take  a  bo*tom  near  about  2  long  as  Connecticut 
river,  to  raise  whet;  enough  to  buy  the  cargo  of  a  Nan- 
tucket whaler,  or  a  Salem  tea  ship.  And' then  to  leai» 
one's  folks,  and  native  place,  wh^re  one  was  raised,  halter 
broke,  and  trained  to  go  in  gear,  and  exchange  all  the 
comforts  of  the  Old  States,  for  them  are  new  ones,  dont 
seem  to  go  down  well  at  all.  Why  f  he  very  sight  of  the 
Yankee  galls  is  good  for  sore  eyes,  the  dear  little  critters* 


WIITDSOR  Ain>  THB  FAR  WIST. 


IW 


they  do  look  so  scrumptious,  I  tell  you,  with  their  cheeki 
blooRiin  like  a  red  rose  budded  on  a  white  one,  and  their 
eyes  like  Mrs.  Adam5*s  dianKmds  (that  folks  say  shine  as 
well  in  the  dark  as  in  the  light,)  neck  like  a  swan,  lips 
chock  full  of  kisses — lick !  it  fairly  makes  one*s  mouth 
water  to  think  on  *em.  But  it*s  no  use  talkin,  they  ai^ 
judt  made  critters,  thaCs  a  fact,  full  of  health  and  life,  fuid 
beauty ,->^now,  to  change  them  are  splendid  white  water 
lilies  of  Connecticut  and  Rhode  Island,  for  the  yaller 
crocusses  of  Illanoy,  is  what  we  dont  Uke.  It  goes  most 
confoundedly  agin  the  grain,  I  tell  you.  Poor  critters, 
when  they  get  away  back  there,  they  grow  as  thin  as  a 
sawed  lath,  their  little  peepers  are  as  dull  as  a  boiled  cod- 
fish, their  skin  looks  like  yaller  fever,  and  they  seem  all 
mouth  like  a  crocodile.  And  that's  not  the  worst  of  it 
neither,  for  when  a  woman  begins  to  grow  sailer  it*s  all 
over  with  her ;  she's  up  a  tree  then  you  may  depend, 
there's  no  mistake.  You  can  no  more  bring  back  her 
bloom,  than  you  can  the  color  to  a  leaf  the  frost  has 
touched  in  the  fall.  It's  gone  goose  with  her,  that's  a 
fact.  And  that's  not  all,  for  the  temper  is  plaguy  apt  to 
change  with  the  che#k  too.  When  the  freshness  of  youth 
is  on  the  move,  the  sweetness  of  temper  is  amazin  apt  to 
start  along  with  it.  A  bilious  cheek  and  a  sour  temper  are 
like  the  Siamese  twins,  there's  a  nateral  c6rd  of  union 
atween  them.  The  one  •is  a  sign  board,  with  the  name 
of  the  firm  written  on  it  in  big  letters.  He  that  dont 
know  this,  cant  read,  I  guess.  It's  no  use  to  cry  over 
spilt  milk,  we  all  know,  but  it's  easier  said  than  done  that. 
Women  kind,  and  especially  single  folks,  will  take  on 
dreadful  at  the  fadin  of  their  roses,  and  their  frettin  only 
seems  to  make  the  thorns  look  sharper.  Our  minister 
used  to  say  to  sister  Sail,  (and  when  she  was  young  she 
was  a  rael  witch,  a  most  an  everlastin  sweet  girl,)  Sally, 
he  used  to  sa  "  now's  the  time  to  lam,  when  you  are 
young ;  store  your  mind  well,  dear,  and  the  fragrance  will 
remain  long  arter  the  rose  has  shed  its  leaves.  The  ottar 
of  rotes  is  stronger  than  the  rose,  and  a  plaguy  sight 
mo^e  valuable.  Sail  wrote  it  down,  she  said  it  warnt  a 
bar^   idee  that;    but   father  larfed,   ho  said   he    guessed 


I 


minister't  eoartin  daya  waomt  ovor,  when  Iw  made  mtth 
fMnetty.  speeches  as  that  are  to  the  galls.  Now,  wlw 
would  go  to  «ipo8e  his  wife  or  his  darters,  or  hioMelf,  to 
the  dai^rs  of  such  a  climate,  for  the  sake  of  80  bushels 
of  wheat  to  the  acre,  instead  of  15.  There  seams  a 
kinder  somethin  in  us  that  rises  in  our  throat  when  we 
th^k  on  it,  and  wont  let  us.  We  dont  like  it.  Oive 
me  the  shore,  and  let  th«n  that  like  the  Far  West,  go 
-there,  I  My. 

This  place  is  as  fertile  as  Illanoy  or  Ohio,  as  healthy  as 
any  part  (^  the  globe,  and  right  along  side  of  the  salt  w»> 
ler ;  but  the  folks  want  three  things— /mJiMtfry,  EhUtrnriaef 
Economy;  these  blue*noses  don't  know  how  to  vai^  this 
location — only  look  at  it,  and  see  what  a  place  for  bisness  it 
is— the  centre  of  the  Province — ^the  nateral  capital  of  the 
SBasin  of  Minas,  and  part  of  the  Bay  of  Fundy — the  great 
thoroughfare  to  St.  John,  Canada,  and  the  United  States— 
the  exports  of  lime,  gypsum,  freestone  and  grindstone— the 
dykes — but  it's  no  use  talkin  ;  I  wish  we  had  it,  that's  adl* 
Chir  folks  are  like  a  rock  maple  tree — stick  'em  in  any 
where,  butt  eend  up  and  top  down,  and  they  will  take  root 
and  grow ;  but  put  'em  in  a  rael  go^  soil  like  this,  and 
give  ^m  a  fair  chance,  and  they  will  go  a  head  and  thrive 
right  off,  most  amazin  fast,  that's  a  fact.  Yes,  if  we  had 
^  it  we  would  make  another  guess  place  of  it  from  what  it  is 
In  one  year  we  would  have  a  raU-road  to  Halifax,  whichi 
tmlike  the  atone  that  killed  two  hirds,  would  be  the  makin 
'of  both  placee,  I  often  tell  the  folks  this,  but  all  they  can 
say,  is,  oh  we  are  too  poor  and  too  young.  Says  I,  You 
put  me  in  mind  of  a  great  long  legged,  long  tail  colt  father 
had.  He  never  changed  his  name  of  colt  as  long  as  be 
lived,  and  he  was  as  old  as  the  hills ;  and  though  he  had 
the  best  of  feed,  was  as  thin  as  a  whippin  post.  He  was 
colt  all  his  days — ^always  young — always  poor ;  and  young 
and  poor  you'll  be  I  guess  to  the  eend  of  the  chapter. 

On  our  return  to  the  Inn,  the  weather,  which  had  bden 
thi-eatening  for  sometime  past,  became  very  tempestuous. 
it  rained  for  three  successive  days,  and  the  roads  wen^ 
almost  impassable.  To  continue  my  journey  was  wholly 
out  of  the  question.  I  determined,  therefore,  to  take  a 
seal  in  the  coach  for  Halifax,  and  defer  until  next  year 'the 


WIITDSOK  A«D  THB  WAti  WBST. 


179 


ide  fuefa 
3W,  who 
iooaelfi  to 
>biwhel8 
•eanM  a 
when  we 
it.  Give 
V^est,  go 

ealthy  ai 
I  Rait  wBf 
lUernrUe, 
V9iij  this 
lusness  it  * 
tal  of  the 
•the  great 
1  Stated- 
tone — the 
that's  all. 
m  in  any 
take  root 
this,  and 
nd  thrive 
f  we  had 
what  it  is 
X,  whichi 
the  makitt 
they  can 
ys  I,  You 
x>lt  father 
)ng  as  be 
;h  he  had 
He  was 
ind  young 
)ter. 

had  been 
npestuous. 
3ads  were 
as  wholly 
to  take  a 
:t  year 'the 


remaining  part  of  my  tour.  Mr.  Slick  agreed  to  meet  me 
here  ih  June,  and  to  provide  for  me  the  same  conveyance 
I  had  used  from  Amherst.  I  look  forward  with  much  plea- 
sure to  our  meeting  again.  His  manner  and  idiom  were  to 
me  perfectly  new  and  verv  amusing ;  while  his  good  sound 
sense,  searching  observation,  and  queer  humour,  rendered 
his  conversation  at  once  valuable  and  interesting.  There 
are- many  subjects  on  which  I  should  like  to  draw  him  out ; 
and  I  promise  myself  a  ibnd  of  amusement  in  his  remarks 
on  the  state  of  society  and  manners  at  Halifax,  and  the 
.  machinery  of  the  local  government,  on  both  of  which  he 
appcMirs  to  entertain  many  original  and  some  very  just 
opmions. 

As  he  took  leave  of  me  in  the  coach,  he  whispered,  *  In- 
side of  your  great  big  cloak  you  will  find  wrapped  up  a 
box,  containin  a  thousand  rael  genuine  first  chop  Havanaha 
— no  mistake — ^the  clear  thing.  When  you  smoke  'em, 
think  sometimes  of  your  old  companion,  *  Sam  Suck  tbb 

CLOOKXAKaB.* 


THE  END 


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YANKEE  STORIES. 


PART  SECOND. 


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Corporation 


23  WIST  MAIN  STRUT 

WIBSTiR.N.Y.  14SM 

(716)  •72-4503 


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dyiil^  m  haiioiv^  [uiiotrU  n  has  til:  lo  '^tt^KioTq 


Dbab  Sm, 

In  consequence  of  the  favburah^  opinion  ex- 
pressed by  you  of  the  First  Series  of  The  Clock- 
maker,  an  English  Publisher  was  induced  to 
reprint  it  in  London  $  and  I  am  indebted  to  that 
circumstance  for  an  tmezpected  introduction,  not 
only  to  the  British  Publisher,  but  to  that  of  the 
United  States.  The  yeiy  flattering  reception  it 
met  with  in  Jboth  countries  has  given  rise  to  the 
present  volume,  which,  as  it  owes  its  origin  to 
you,  offers  a  suitable  opporChnity  of  expressing 
the  thanks  of  the  Author  for  this  and  other  sub- 
sequent  acts  of  (j^dness. 

»         ■         • 

As  a  political  work  I  cannot  hope  that  you 
will  approve  of  all  the  sentiments  contained  in  it, 
for  politics  are  peculiar ;  and  besides  the  broad 


1?      .  OBDIOATIOir. 

lines  that  divide  parties,  there  are  smaller  shades 
of  difference  that  distinguish  even  those  who 
usoally  act  together ;  but  humour  is  the  common 
property  of  all,  and  a  neutral  ground  on  which 
men  of  opposite  sides  may  cordiaUy  meet  each  -- 
othen  As  such,  it  affords  me  great  pleasure  to 
inscribe  the  work  to  ]^0U  as  a  mark  of  the  re-  - 
spect  andMt^m  of 

NdTaSooda, 
Slflt  April,  1888.  ,<Hi^  jf*?lll 

-tt  tioimp' '-^ihnliO'rili  QfU^0.^^^^^  .^     - 

'nf!  o.t  mn  trrri^.  '^jm  f/jntoi/O')  (Ito  •  '  '    '     '  J^^'ft 


JlIOI  J[<Bd[i  ye|0^  1^*linnv»  I  '\-ir,\Y  IrHliloq  e;  i:-!. 
hfjmd  odi  Bohmd  ban  \Ti         {  m^nilfikiqtoi 


\. 


».ti  ,'  y  > 


I^^IUI 


,'?r  'tVi^i 


f 


ffominoCOHTKNTS  OF  FART  SKODND^/tUu^ir  . 
tt:>u4"jfir  IK>  Imwrcj  Uyituw  ti  bm  Mb  to  yvmAq 

8.  TVainiof  a GBRiboo ...,.    SI 

4.  Niek  BnuUiaw ; 

5.  I^b^rflttf  iajmevka  .Ii....l^... 

6.  EteoUve  Goanetls ...?i'  ^Vii,.,,  46 

r  Bkvsry  ..,,i,,,.l:„i.:.l7,  SS 

&  Talkiof  LMfii 08 

9.  Tlie  Snow  Wreath ; ; 79 

10.  ThelUiniaB tB 

11,  Italian  Pftlntingp 86 

13.  Sbampoobf  the  Eof  liah 98 

13.  Puttinf  aFootinit 101 

14  Eagliah  ^skUteney  and  Yankee  Hoboeraej 100 

15.  ConfeMJoni  of  a  Depoeed  Miiriiter 118 

16.  Canadian PoUtica  ......•• - i 196 

17.  ACoreferSaragfling  ...., 136 

1&  lUinf  off  the  Factory  Ladiea  ;...... 148 

19.  The  Sehookraater  Abroad Ifil 

90.  The  Wmnf  Boon •  160 

91.  Findfaif  a Man*8  Neit ....168 

S3.  Keepinf  up  the  Steam 176 

93.  The  Cloekmal«*«FW(iBff  Advise 185 

,     1*  ♦.  »> 


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■«j>^5i.^.^  .'♦i.J^t.i,^ 


I 


THE   CLOCKMAKER. 


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CHAPTER  I. 

.      .     THC  MESTINO. 

WboavBB  bu  eondofcended  to  rtad  tho  Pint  SeriM  of  thtf 
Clockmaker,  or  the  Sftvingt  oi^  Doingt  of  Mr.  Sanduel  Sliek, 
of  Slickville,  will  recofleot  tlwrour  tour  of  Nova  Scotia  ter* 
minated  at  Windsor  last  autumn,  in  oonMOuenoe  of  bad  road* 
and  bad  weatber,  and  that  it  wasmutuaUy  agreed  upon  be- 
tween ua  to  resume  it  ki  the  ibllowing  apring.  But,  afaa  ( 
■prinff  came  not.  They  rttain  in  this  country  the  name  of 
that  delightful  portion  of  the  year,  but  it  is  **  Vox  et  preterea 
nihil.^  The  short  space  that  intervenei  between  the  dissolu* 
tion  of  winter  and  the  birth  6{  lymmer  deeerves  not  the  ap- 
pellation. ~  Vegetation  it  to  rapid  here,  that  the  valleys  ate 
often  clothed  with  verdure  beibre  the  mow  has  wholly  disap- 
peared firom  the  forest. 

There  is  a  strons  similarity  between  the  native  and  his  cli- 
mate; the  one  is  intbout  youth,  and  the  other  without  spring, 
and  botb  ^hibit  the  efihcte  of  loiing  that  preparatory  season. 
CuUivaUon  it  wanHng*  Neither  the  mind  nor  the  soil  is  pro- 
perly prepared.  T%er§  ii  no  Hnu,  The  ibrmer  is  compelled 
to  hurry  through  all  bis  field  operationi  ai  he  best  can,  so  as 
to  commit  his  ^in  to  )he  ground  in  time  to  insure- a  crt^. 
Much  is  unavoidaUy  omitted  that  ought  to  be  done,'and  all  is 

EBrformed  in  a  Careless  and  ilovenly  manner.  The  same 
aste  js  observable  in  education,  and  it  attended  with  similar 
eflfeets;  a  boy  is  hurried  to  school,  flrom  eohool  to  a  profes- 
sion, and  firom  thence  is  sent  fbrtb  into  the  world  befi>ire  his 
mind  has  been  duly  disciplined  or  prdperly  cultivated. 

When  I  found-Mr.  SUck  at  Winasor,  I  expressed  my  regret 
to  him  that  we  could  not  have  met  earlier  in  the  season ;  but 
really,  eaid  I,  they  appear  to  have  no  spring  in  this  country. 
Well,  I  don't  know,  said  he  |  I  never  iee*d  it  in  that  light 
afore;  I  was  athinkin'  we  might  itUmp  the  whole  unhrarsal 

it) 


%  THB  CLOCSMAKER.  ^ 

world  for  climate*  IVb  ginerally.  allowed,  our  climate  io 
America  can't  be  no  better.  The  sprin|;  may  be  a  little  short 
olr  80,  but  then  it  is  added  to  t'other  eend,  and  makes  amost 


a  ffood  breeze,  raet  cheerfUlsome. 

That,  said  I,  is  evading  the  question ;  I  was  iqpeaking  of  the 
shortness  of  spring,  and  not  of  the  comparative  merit  of  youx 
autumn,  which  I  am  readv  to  admit  is  a  very  charming  por* 
tion  of  the  year  in  America.  But  there  is  one  favout  I  must 
beg  of  you  during  this  tour,  and  that  is,  to  avoid  the  practice 
yo0  indulged  in  so  much  last  year,  of  exalting  every  thitag 
Atnerican  by  depreciating  ®^1|C^  thins  British*  This  habit  is, 
I  assure  vou,  very  objectionaole,  ana  has  already  had  a^  very 
perceptible,  effect  on  your  national  character* '  1  believe  I  am 
a«  devoid  of  what  is  called  national  prejudices  as  most  meni: 
and  can  make  all  due  allowances  for  them  in  others^  I  have 
qo  oljijection  to  this  superlative  praise  of' your  country,  its  in- 
stitutions or  its  people,  provided  ypu  do  not  require  me  to  join 
in  it,  or  express  it  in  languago  disrespectful  of  the  Bnglidb. 

Well,  well,  if  that  don't  beat  all,  said  he;  you  say,  yon 
have  no  prejudices,  and  yet  you  c^n't  bear  to  hear  tell  of  our 
great  nation,  and  our  free  and  enlightened  citiasens.  Captain 
A'ul  (Hall),  as  he  called  himself,  for  I  never  seed  an  English*! 
n^n  yet  that  spoke  good  English,  said  he  hadn't  one  nutei  or 
morsel  of  prejudice,  and  yet  m  all  his  three  volumes  of  tn?, 
veb  through  the  IT-nited  States  (the  greatest  natidn  ifs  gin#^^ 
rall^  allowed  atween  the  Poles),  only  fbund  two  things  to 
praise,  the  kindness  of  our  folks  to  him,  and  thei  State  prisons. 
None  are  so  blind,  I  guess,  as  them  that  won't  see ;  but  your 
folks  can't  bear  it,  that's  a  fact.  Bear  what  ?  said  I.  The 
superiority  of  the  Americans,  he  replied ;  it  does  se^m  to  gr^|^ 
'em*  there's  no  denyin'  it ;  it  does  somehow  or  another  seeni' 
to  go  agin  their  grain  t6  admit  it  most  consumedly ;  iiothin' 
a.'most  ryles  them  so  much  as  that.  But  thdir  sun  has  set  fn 
dfi^rkoaui  and  sorrow,  never  a^in  to  peer  above  the  horizon.; 
They  wRl  be  blotted  out*  of  the  list  of  natioiis.  Their  glory 
has  departed  across  the  Atlantic  to  fix  her  evetrlastin'  abo^  in 
the  17>nited  States.  Yes,  man  to  man,- — ^baganut  to  bafn^t, 
—ship  to  ship,— by  land  or  by  sea, — fair  fight,  or  rOU(pi  and 
tumble,— we've  whipped  'em,  that's  a  fiict,cleny  it  Wh6  catti. 
and  we'll  whip  *em  agin,  to  all  etarnity.    We  average  .moie. 


THii  mvniro.  f 

phyMcaVoMrftl,  and  intdlectiikl  force  than  any  peopla  on  tha 
face  of  tfis  airth ;  we  are  a  right-roinded,  ttrong'niUKledi 
soiuid*iiunded,  and  hidi-niinded  people»  I  hope  I  may  be  abot 
if  we  am*!.  On  fireui  or  on  salt  water,  on  the  lakea  or  the 
ocean,  down  cornea  the  red  croaa  and  up  go  the  atara.  From 
Bunker*8  Hill  clean  away  up  to  New  Orleena  the  land  teem* 
with  the  glory  of  our  heroes.  Yes,  our  young  Republic  is  a 
Colossus,  with  one  foot  in  the  Atlantic  and  tM  otiier  in  the 
Pacific,  its  head  above  the  everlastin*  hills,  graspm*  in  its 
hand  a  tri  A  rifle,  shooting  squirrels,  said  1 ;  a  verv  suit* 
able  employment  for  such  a  tall,  overgrown,  long-legged 
youngster. 

Well,  well,  said  he,  resuming  his  ordinary  quiet  demeanour, 
and  with  that  good  humour  thaf^stincuished  him,  put  a  rifle, 
if  you  will,  in  his  hands,  I  guess  voirll  find  he*s  not  a  bad 
shot  neither.  But  I  must  see  to  Old  Clav,  and  prepare  for  our" 
joujrney,  which  is  a  considerable  of.  a  long  one,  I  tell  jfett,-^ 
and  taking  up  his  hat,  he  proceeded  to  the  stable.  Is  that  ^w 
low  mad  or  drunk,  said  a  stranger  who  came  from  Hi^fox 
with  me  in  the  coach ;  I  never  heard  such  a  vap<Miring  fool  iii 
my  life  J— I  bad  a  strong  inclination,  if  he  had  not  taken  him- 
self ofi*,  to  show  him  out  of  the  door.  Did  you  ever  hear  such 
insuflerable  vanity  7  I  should  have  been  excessively  sorry,  I 
said,  if  you  had  taken  any  notice  of  it.  He  is,  I  assure  you, 
neither  mad  nor  drunk,  but  a  very  shrewd,  intelli^t  fellow* 
I  met  with  him  accidentally  last  year  while  travellmg  through' 
the  eastern  part  of*  the  province;  and  although  I  was  at  first 
somewhat  annoyed  at  the  unceremonious  manner  in  which  he 
forced  his  acquaintfuace  upon  me,  I  soon  found  that  his  know- 
ledge of  the  proviiide,  its  people  and  government,  might  hif- 
most  useful  to  me.  He  has  some  humour,  much  anecdote,  and 
great  originality } — ^he  is,  in  short,  qaite  a  character.^  I  have 
employed  him  to  convey  me  from  this  place  to  Shelbume,  and 
frona  thence  along  the  Atlantic  coast  to  Halifax.  Although 
not  exactly  the  person  one  would  choose  for  a  travelling  com- 
pani(m,'  yet  if  my  guide  must  also  be  my  companion,  I  do  not 
know  that  I  could  nave  made  a  happier  selection.  He^pMibles 
me  to  study  the  Yankee  character,  of  which  in  his  particular 
class  life  is  a  foir  sample ;  and  to  becomi9  acquainted  with  thdr, 
peculiar  habits,  manners,  and  mode  of  thinking.  He  has  just 
now  given  you  a  specimen  of  their  national  vanity ;  which, 
after  all,  is,  I  believe,  not  much  greater  than  that  of  the 
French,  though  perhaps  more  loudly  and  rather  di^rently 


10 


THB  OLOCKMAKCR. 


•Kpretaed.  He  ia  well  infbrtned  and  iqbite  at  hoipe  oa  tfU 
ntalten  connected  with  th6  machinery  of  the  Ammicaa  ^^ 
rnvment,  a  aubject  of  much  intereat  to  qm.  The  eotplanationa 
1  receive  fhmi  him  enable  me  to  compare  it  with  Ihe  BritiMi 
and  Ciolonial  conatitutiona,  and  throw  much  light  on  the  apecu- 
latira  projeotii  of*  our  relbrmera.  I  have  aketclwd  him  in 
every  attitude  and  in  every  light,  and  I  carefully  note  down 
all  our  oonversatiooa,  lo  that  I  flatter  myaelf,  when  thia  tour 
ia  completed,  I  shall  know  as  much  of  America  and  Aiheri* 
cane  aa  some  who  have  oven  written  a  book  on  the  aubje<:t* 


.  / 


■■    r 


i- 


THE  VOLUNTAftlf  STflPTfil^ 


-  Tm  day  after  our  arrival  at  Windaor,  being  Sunday,  we 
Were  compelled  to  remain  there  until  the  following  Tuesday, 
ao  as  to  have  one  day  at  our  command  to  visit  the  College^ 
Retiieat  Farm,  and  the  other  objects  ef  interest  in  the  neigh* 
bourhood.  One  of  the  inhabitants  having  kindly  oflered  me 
a  seat  in  his  pew,  I  accompanied  him  to  the  church,  which,  fbr 
the  convenience  of  the  College,  was  built  nearly  a  mile  from 
the  village.  From  him  I  learned,  that  independently  of  the 
dueet  influence  of  the  Church  of  England  upon  its  own  meni- 
hera,  who  form  a  very  numerous  and  respectable  portion  of 
the  inhabitants  of  Nova  Scotia,  its  indirect  operation  haa  beeo 

.  bath  extensive  and  important  in  thia  colony.  «> 

-  The  friends  of  the  establishment^  having  at  an  early  period 
founded  a  college,  and  patronised  education,  the  proiessidna 
have  been  filled  with  scholars  and  gentlemen,  and  the  natural, 
and  very  proper  emulation  of  other  sects  being  thus  awakened 
to  the  importance  of  the  subject,  they  have  been  stimulated  to 
naaintain  and  endow  academies  of  their  own. 

The  graeral  difilision  through  the  country  of  a  well-edu-' 
oeted  body  of  clergymen,  like  those  of  the:  establishment)  ha» 
had  ^iii'ong  tendency  to  raise  the  standard  of  qualificaticiii 
among  those^  who  diSer  from  them,  while  the  habits,  manneray 
and  r^ularxooduet  of  so  respectable  a  body  of  men  naturally 
and  unconsciously  mo<Jli;late  and  influence  those  of  their  neigh* 
hours,  who  may  not  perhaps  attend  their  ministratioiMk  It  is, 
tker^re,  among  other  causes  doubtless,  owing  in  «'  great- 
naeasure  to  the  exertions  and  salutary  e^mtfle  of  the  Church 


^ 


THE  VOLUHTAItT  IVtTUI. 


n 


HI  tho  Colonbi  that -a  higher  tooo  of  moral  fteUng  exiata  io 
^  Briliah  Provmcea  than  in  the  neighbourb^  atatea,  a  claim 
which  I  find  very  genetally  put  forth  in  ihia  country,  aad 
thoMsh  not  exafdtU  admittecC  yet  certainly  not  denied  ewva  hf 
Mr.  Slick  hinmelf;  The  auggestions  of  thw  gentleman  induoa<| 
me  t6  maka  abme  inquiries  of  the  Clockmaker,  connected  witl^ 
the  aubjeot  of  an  eatablishment ;  I  therefore  aaked  him  what 
hia  opmion  waa  of  the  Voluntary  System.  Well,  I  donll 
know,  aaid  he ;  what  ia  your*u  ?  I  am  a  member,  I  repliedy 
of  th^  Church  of  England ;  you  may,  therefore,  easily  mp^^ 
pose  what  my  opinion  is.  And  I  am  a  citizen,  said  he,  laugh-^ 
mg,  of  Stickville,  Onion  county,  state  of  Connecticut,  United; 
States  of  America :  you  may  therefore  suess  what  my  opinion 
is  too:  I  reckon  we  are  even  now,  arVt  we?  To  tell  you 
the  truth,  said  he,  I  never  thought  much  about  it.  Pve  been 
a  considerable  of  a  traveller  in  my  day ;  arovin'  about  hera 
and  there  and  every  ;Wiuire ;  atradih*  wherever  I  seed  a  good 
chance  of  making  aitpeck ;  -paid  my  sh(rt  into  the  f^atey 
whenever  it  vraa  lundl^  round  in  meetin*,  and  axed  no  qae»>- 
tiona-  It  waa  about  as  much  as  I  could  cleverly  do,  to  look  artev 
my  own  consams,  and  I  left  the  ministers  to  look  arter  theim  n 
but  taJce  *em  in  a  gineral  way,  they  are  pretty  well  to  do  ini 
the  world  with  us,  especially  as  they  have  the  women  on  th^ 
side.  AVboever  has  the  women,  is  sure  of  the  men,  you  may 
dqiend,-  aquire ;  openly  or  secretly,  directly  or  indirectly,  they^ 
do  contrive,  somehow  or  another,  to  have  their  own  way  is 
the  eend,  and  tho'  the  men  have  the  reins,  the  women  tell  'env 
which  way  to  drive.  Now,  if  ever  you  go  for  to  canvass  for 
votes,  always  canvas^  the  wives,  and  you  are  sure  of  the  hus- 
bands. 

,1  reooUect  when  I  was  last  up  to  Albama,  to  one  of  the  new 
citiea  lately  built  there,  I  was  awalkin*  one  momin'  airly  oult 
o'  town  to  get  a  leetle  fresh  air,  for  the  weather  was  so  plaguyi 
sultry  I  could  hardly  breathe  a'most,  and  I  seed  a  most  sphsn* 
did  location  there  near  the  road ;  a  beautiibl  white  two-story 
house,  with  a 'grand  virandah^runnin*  all  round  it,  painted' 
green,  and  iireen  vemitians  to  the  winders,  and  a  wi^(i|ppali«' 
sade  fence  m  front,  lined  with  a  row  of  Lomhardy  poplars,!' 
jind  two  rows  of  ^em  leadin'  up  to  the  front  door,  like  twofile» 
of  spdgera  with  fixt  baffanuts;  each  side  of  the  avenue  was  a^ 
grass*pl<^  and  a  beautiful  image  of  Adam  stood  in  the  centra 
^of^Mie  bn^m"  and  of  Bve,  with  a  fig-leaf  ai»on  on,  iw 
tVithar^  made  <^  wood  by  a  naftee  artist,land  painted  ao  natec 
*  ral  no  axSvl  could  tell  'em  from  stone. 


i^ 


'm 


r 


■•  Tbt  AveQU*  WM  «U  plukcMl  beMitiAil,  and  it  wm  lined  with 
,ioiw«rt  in  aott  and  jan,  and  lookad  a  touch  abova  oominoo»  I 
tall  fMk  whila  I  waa  Mt<»ppin*  to  loak  it  it,  wlio  flKMdd 
fbdva  by  but  the  millunan  with  hia  cart.  Saya  I,  atranoaik 
iays  I,  I  suppoM  you  don*t  know  who  Uvea  hare*  do  y^a  f  I 
Mwca  you  are  a  atranger,  laid  he,  ain't  vou  1  Wall,  eayi  I, 
I  don*t  aixactly  know  ai  I  ain't,  but  who  livee  hora?  The 
Bav.  Ahab  Meldnim,  said  he,  I  reckon.  Ahab  lleldvunw  eaid 
I,  to  myeelf  { I  wonder  if  it  can  be  the  Ahab  Meldnim  1  waa 
to  echool  with  to  Slickville,  to  minieter'e,  when  we  waa  bpye* 
It  can't  be  poesible  it's  him,  for  he  waa  fitter  for  a  Stato'a 
prieoner  than  a  State's  preacher,  by  a  lon(|  chalk.  He  waa  a 
poor  stick  to  make  a  preacher  on,  for  minister  couldn't  beat 
notbin'  into  him  a'most, ,he  was  so  cussed  stupid;  but  I'll 
aae  any  how :  so  I  walks  right  through  the  gata»  and  tape 
•way  at  the  door,  and  a  tidy,  welUri^^ed  nigpr  help  opeiu 
it,  and  shows  me  into  a'moet  an  eleoaat  farnished  room.  I 
waa  most  damted  to  sit  down  on  tit  chairs,  they  were  ao 
splendid,  for  fear  I  should  spile  'em.  There  was  mirrora  and 
Tarses,  and  lamps»  and  picturs,  and  crinkum  orankums,  and 
notions  of  all  sorts  and  sizes  in  it.  It  looked  like  a  bazar 
a'most,  it  was  filled  with  such  an  everlastin'  sighl  of  cun^ 
deities. 

The  room  waa  considerable  dark  too,  for  the  blinds  waa 
shot,  and  I  was  skear'd  to  jooove  for  ibar  o'  doin'  mischief. 
Presttitly  in  comes  Ahab  slowly  sailin'  in,  like  a  boat  drop- 
pin'  down  stream  in  a  calm,  with  a  pair  o'  purple  slippers  on, 
and  a  figured  silk  dressin'-gound,  and  carrying  a'most  a  beau- 
tiitiUbound  book  in  his  hand.  May  I  presumo,  saya  he,  to 
inquire  who  I  have  the  onexpected  pleasure  of  seeing  thia 
momin'.  If  you'll  gist  throw  open  one  o'  them  are  shutters, 
aays  I,  I  guess  the  light  will  save  us  the  trouble  of  axin' 
names.  I  know  who  you  be  by  your  voice  any  how,  tho'  it's 
considerable  softer  than  it  was  ten  years  a^.  I'm  Sam  l^ick, 
says  I,— what's  left  o*  me  at  least.  Venly,  said  he,  friend 
J9amuel,  I'm  glad  to  see  you ;  and  how  did  you  leave  tl^at  ex- 
celld|||^|l|h  and  distinguished  scholar,  the  Rev.  Mr.H(^weIl, 
and  my  goibd  firiend  your  father?  Is  the  old  gentleman  ,atiU 
alive  t  itaPf  he  must  anow  be  ripe  fiiU  of  years  aa  he  is  fiill 
of  honours.  Tour  mother,  I  think  I  heer'd,  waa  dead— 4pith- 
Med  to  her  fathers — ^peace  be  with  her  l—- ahe  had  a  gopd  and 
a  kind  ho%rt.    1  loved  her  aa  a  child:  but  the  Lo«d  iak^  4' 

ys  I,  I  have  but  a  (jsw  minutw  to  ^ 


whom  he  wveth.    Ahab,  says 


\' 


i<* 


TIB 

It  wglit  p«^pt  t«k«  jroif  •  losfMr  tiiM  t^n  jfoi  «» 

rt  iftw  lbo*r-«tfMM^  Folly  Bmoo  m^ 
liby.  .  >n 

ppiM  SM,  8mmmI,  tptM  «t|  OEqr  M«id«  Mjt  lis  I  opi«  Ml 
UMlFoviMlafrei^IlMMMhtlM.  W«ll,  Myi  1,  MM  o^  yMt 


ilMMgo^MllunillM 
#wf«««lfil  toiaqiiiM 


i^B  (  thow  OM  iato  •  MOM  whtM  I  MB  ipitt  m4 
M  i»lioaH^  *o4jP!>*  "7  *«<  upo*  Um  olMiin  wMhom  Bte^ 
•1^1*  tfiiafli,  and  Jnl  tit  and  mmIm  bimI  chat  wiHk  you  b  §m 
MIbbIm;  Mikct  I  doB*t  obm  if  I  stop  mad  Imaklbat  witb  yai^ 
Ibf  IM ooaaUeraMe D^ith  tliit  fnoraiB*.  Sao^  Mya  h^ 
.  Btalutt^  hold  of  my  band,  you  hbmw  alwaya  right  up  and  donpil 
jwid  M  atraight  m  a  •biaglo  in  yoor  dMiia'i.  I  caa  truat  fM^ 
I  JuK»iri  but  oundr-Bodlie  put  his  ftagsra  ob  hia  Hpa  mbm 
li  tba  «ord }— bya  goBM  are  bye  goBee,— too  woBlda't  talav 
•Bold  chum  among  hia  firieade,  would  you f  I  eooni  a  aaaty^ 
dliiy,  maiB  aolioo,  Mya  I,  m  I  do  a  nigger«  Ooaie»  ibllar  m% 
fheoi  My»  ha  ^— and  ha  led  ma  iato  a  back  roan,  with  aiB^0l| 
aaiMtedpaialed  floor,  ftmithed  plain,  and  lome  ahahrM  lB'i( 
tip  booki  aBd  nipM  and  dgata,  pic-tail  and  what  not.  HeM% 
KbeHy^hallk  Mid  he;  ohew,  or  emoke,  or  epH  m  you  ptaaMt 
—do  M  you  lihe  here  {  we*U  throw  off  all  reMnre  bow  ;  bat 
miBd  Ihatoiqrmd  nigger;  he  hM  a  foot  like  a  cat,  and  an  ear 
Jbr^efery  keyho|o--doB*t  talk  too  loud. 

Well,  Sam,  latd  he,  Vm  gkul  to  me  you  too,  my  boyjult 
fute  ma  in  mind  of  old  timM.  Many*^  the  krk  you  adFl 
hava  im  together  in  SKjbkviUe,  when  old  Httnka--<it  mail 
laa  ttart,  that  he  meant  Mr.  Hopewell,,  and  it  made  me  ft# 
kinder.daadry  at  him,  for  I  wouldn't  let  any  one  apeak  diaiii 
BteetfikI  of  bun  a^re  me  for  nothin*  I  know,)-«whiM  oH 
iiankt  thought  we  was  abed.    Them  waa  happy  dayi »»  di| 


^yi  0'  lisbt  heela  and  Hght  hearts.   I  often  think  on  *eilw  tm 
ihiQk  obTmi  too  with  pleaaure.    Well,  Ahab,  apya  I,  I  dmA 


mdl  JMlwooiggerv  bringia'  in  the  bieakAM,  and  a  grand 
<|M  it  r#Mr-«-t0a  «nd  loofiea  and  Indgian  com  cBkea,  and  hdl 
NMd  ind  odd  bresil,  flsh,  foWl,  and  flMh,  roasted,  bttUei; 
M^ftild;  pfpa)PTea».piolElB8,  Ihuts;  in  abort,  awry  diiBi 
^I^MI^IffttiBg^  think  oB.  r«i  ntedaVwrnt,  arii  Ahi^  It 
^:    -^^M^  "-•■■-  '^ •  ■  f^ 


J« 


^ 


} 


s 


[I 


f 


I  4 

:  [ 


^' 


t( 


Hm  MMk^r  PU  ring  for  you,  when  I  waoiy«v;  ffe*H  Mp 


''Well,  when  I  loodrad  noiiiid  and  seed  thh  cliMer  aihrin'.^Mt 
fmy,  <m  the  ftit  o*  the  land,  up  to  bis  knees  in  ckyver  Wroi  it 
did  pose  me  considerable  to  know  how  he  worked  it  so  cleverly, 
fbr  m  was  thouffht  always,  as  a  boy,  to  be  rather  more  titui 
half  onder*baked,  consideraUe  soft-lUce.  So,  says  I,  Ahab, 
■avs  I,  I  calculate  you*r  Hke  the  cat  we  used  to  throw  out  of 
nmister's  garrat-winder,  whien  we  was  aboardin*  there  to 
■ehool.  How  so,  Sam?  said  he.  Why,  says  I,  you  alwi^ 
•eaiu  to  come  on  your  feet  some  how  or  other.  You  hlrirre  0(k 
II  plaguy  nice  thing  of  it  here;  that's  a  fact,  and  no  mistake 
me  critter  had  three  thousand  dollars  a-year);  how  on  tStA 
did  yeu  manage  it?  I  wish  in  my  heart  I  had  ataken  v&Htifi 
tt&At  o*  preachin*  too;  When  it  Hoes  hit  it  does  capitally,  tnat't 
tMtk'Ti,  Why,  says  he,  if  you'll  promise  not  to  let  on  to  any 
caie  about  it,  I'll  tell  you.  Tli  keep  dark  abodt  it.  you  qdLy 
dapendt  says  I.  Pm  not  a  man  that  can't  keep  nothm*  in  Uny 
mzard,  but  g9  right  off  and  blart  out  all  I  hear.  I  know  a 
niing  worth  two  <r  that,  I  guess.  Well,  sa^s  he^  it's  doiia  \if 
€  iww  rule  I  made  in  grammar>— the  feminuie  gender  u  mov0 
wev^y  than  the  neuter,  and  the  neuter  more  worthy  than  the 
masculine;  I  gist  soil  sawder  the  women.  It  'taint  every  mm 
will  let  you  tickle  him ;  and  if  yon  do,  hell  makeihces  ftt'yop 
coouffh  to  frighten  you  into  fits ;  but  tickle  his  wtt^  and  it's  eie6> 
^ka^he*!!  bugh  like  any  thing.  They  are  the  ferred  wheels, 
•nrt  them,  and  the  hind  ones  foUer  of  coorse.  Now  it^ 
«oady  women  that  tend  meetin'  here;  the  men-folks  liiil« 
ffaair  politics  and  trade  to  talk  over,  and  what  not,  and  miil^ 
time ;  but  the  lacfies  go  considerable  rigular,  and  we  have  ^ 
dip^id  on  them,  the  dear  critters.  I  gist  Jay  myself  (Mit  tj» 
l^et-tho  blind  side  o'  them,  and  I  sugar  and  gild  the  pill  iM>  ak 
to  make  it  pretty  to'  look  at  and  easy  to  swalTer.  Last  Lonfi 
day,  for  instance,  I  preached  on  the  death  of  the  widder's  sofk. 
Well,  I  drew  such  a  pictur  of  the  lone  watch  at  the  sick  bed, 
^  patbnoe,  the  kindness,  the  tenderness  of  women's  hearfil, 
dieir  ti^vhig  dnposition^the  Lord  forgive  me  finr  sftjrhu; 
tiH  tlio%  roe  if  there  is  a  crea^  inritter  that  never  fbrgives,  It^ 
tt  Woman ;  they  seem  to  fornve  a  wound  on  their  pnde,  and 
il^  tkins  over  and  loc^s  all  healed  dp  like,  but  touch  'em  txk 
ttM  sore  1^  ag*ki,  and  see  how  cute  thar  memory  is)r^the(r 
«iriet  tempef ,  aoothera  of  grief,  dispenser*  of  J9y,  niioiiifitf 
•ngda.— I  make  all  the  virtues  of  the  feminine  gandei^ilwiyt^ 


#6*11  MP 

o  clererly, 

B  I,  Ahsb, 
row  out  of 
i»  there  to 
rott  ftlwaqri 
)uhiVe0^ 
no  mistuo 
t>w  oB  a^itn 
akenttP'tlip 
itaUy,t*iift 
et  oil  to  taif 
it,  you  vgAf 
otkm'mitiy 
.    1  know* 
it'«  do»  Iff 

Sder  b  III01* 
hy  thftn  t)» 
t  every  n«tt 
feces  at  TOW 
andit*ieiee^ 
»rred  wheels, 
,.    Now  H«l 
si.fo)ks  hftte 
lot,  snd  «is^ 
I  we  hate  ^ 
nyself  <*Ht  to 
the  pill  so  as 
LastLordTl 
widd(er*8  soBl 

the  «lck  b«^ 
iinenVheani, 

oe  forsi^y^ 
rfi«fiV6B,irt 
sir  |wWe,  and 
touch  'em  ott 


ory  is}7 — • — 
■^  idet^ilwayt, 


UuilHijhriMri  op  wMi  •  quotatkm  Akmsi  Walter  Soolt.  •  TlH|r 
•U  Uka  poatry»  do  the  ladits,  and  Bhakspeare,  Scott,  and  Wytmk 
mf  iwaiin*  iwrowitaa  i  tk^  go  down  nmioh  better  than  tinin 
4M4h8hkiMd  ilavaa  o*  Watts. 

/"  "Oh  womuiifaioitr  hMrofeaM, 

UaowtaW,  oogr,  Md  hud  to  pteaae, 

Aad  rwlabte  M  the  ■hwfo 

Br  ths  light  qdmrinf  wpeo  made;  ^. 

lm.,iM^    <  whtn  ptin  sod  uundidi  wring  the  brow, 

^ff  A  minritorhif  u^l  thou.'* 

ijf  \  4u)n*t  touch  it  off  to  the  nines  it's  a  pity.  I  never  heeid 
nm  pmAch  so  well,  says  one,  since  you  was  located  here. 
I  i/nw  fironii  n«tur*i  says  I,  a  squezin*  of  her  hand.  Nor 
DovfT  so  to'ichin*!  says  another.  Yoy  know  my  moddle,  says 
I,  looktn'  spooney  on  bar.  I  fairly  shcKi  tears,  said  a  third; 
^w  often  JMVjS  you  drawn  them  m>in  roe  1  says  I.  So  true, 
liun  thay»  and  so  nateral,  and  truth  and  natur*  is  what  we 
ciIl,islojpienca.^  I  ftel  quite  proud,  says  I,  and  considerab^ 
4|ted|  my  admired  slstersr-ror  who  can  judge  so  well  as  the 
ladies  of  the  truth  of  the  description  of  th^  own  virtueat 
I  must  SAV,  I  felt  somehow  kinder  inadequate  to  the  task  toe, 
tsaid,«r-^  the  depth  and  strength  and  beauty  of  the  female 
IkBMt  passes  all  understandin*. 

■  When  I  left  *am  I  heerd  *em  say,  ain*t  he  a  dear  raan»  a 
Ipelin^  man,  a  sweet  critter,  a'most  a  splendid  preacher ;  none 
V  your  mere  moral  lecturers,  but  a  rael  right  down  genuine 
KMptH  preacher.  Next  day  I  received  to  the  tune  of  one 
Eiuptdrsa  dollars  in  cssh,  and  fiftv  dollars  j»noduce,  preeente 
ilnmi  one  and  another.  The  truth  is,  if  a  minister  wanto  lo 
be  Mipular  he  should  remain  single,*fbr  then  the  gals  all  have 
a  chance  for  him ;  but  the  moment  he  marries  he  s  up  a  trea; 
his  flint  is  fixed  then;  you  mav  depend  it's^one  goose  with 
warn  arter  that  { that's  a  fhct.  No,  Sam ;  they  are  the  pillars 
of  tlte  temple,  the  dear  little  critters. — And  Til  give  you  a 
Wrtnkla  for  your  horn,  perhaps  you  ain't  got  yet,  and  it  may 
be  some  use  to  you  when  you  go  down  atradin'  with  the  be- 
nighted coioniste  in  the  outUmdish  British  provindU  The 
_r9ad  to  tis  htad  liti  tKnou^k  the  heart.  Pocket,  you  mean, 
in^M  of  head,  I  guass,  said  1 ;  and  if  you  don't  travel  that 
foa4  Aill  chissel  it's  a  nitv.— Well,  says  I,  Ahab,  when  I  go 
to  fifickville  111  gist  teil  Mr.  Hopewell  what  a  most  precious, 
•m^irftne,  superior  di|rn*d  rascal  you  have  turned  <mt;  if  you 
m%K^  h  tetter  A,  I  want  to  know  who  is,  that's  all.    You 


1^' 


!    - 


1^ 


■ 

\  f 


■' 


I 


^       i 


r  . 


^  best  «U,Siiiir  said  he ;  k^s  <&«  tgttm  ^uU  «m«M% 
mt  lltf  fr««dbcr*  If  X  didn't  give  *eni  tl»  eoft  ww^eC'  ^Mf 
»oiild  JMttthAT  pay  ne  nor  bewr  me ;  tkat's  a  l»et  JUb  jMp 
«o  soil  in  the  horn  now,  Sanvas  to  auj^MMe  tibat  the  nla 
would  take  the  trouble  to  cpine  to  hear  me  tall  'em  <^  their 
corrupt  natur*  and  fallen  condition ;  and  first  thank  me>  and 
then  pay  me  for  it?  Very  eotertainin'  that  to  tell  'em  the 
worms  will  fatten  cm  their  pretty  little  rosy  cheeks,  and  timt 
their  sweet  plump  flesh  is  nothuor  l^ut  grass,  flourisbin*  to<day, 
and  to  be  cut  down  withered  and  rotten  tQ>morrow ;  ain't^iy 
It  fdn*t  in  the  natur'  o'  things,  if  I  put  them  but  o*  obntm 
o*  themselves,  I  can  put  them  in  conceit  o'  me{. or  that  tSJBjl 
wUl  come  down  handsome,  and  do  the  thing  gjoteel,  its  |pi| 
ODposaible.  It  warn't  me  made  the  system,  mit  the  B7*teill 
ttade  me.  The  volvntarg  donU  work  wdL - 
.  System  or  no  system,  said  I,  Ahab,  you  are  Ahab  still,  and 
Ahab  you'll  be  to  the  eehd  o'  the  chapter.  You  may  ^|ed||f0 
the  women  by  soft  sawder,  and  yourself  by  talkin'  aWit  sjff^ 
tons,  but  you  won't  walk  into  me  so  easy,  I  know.  It  aur| 
p»etty  at  all.  Now,  said  I,  Ahab,!  told  you  I  wouldn't  bloil 
you,  nor  will  I.  I  will  neither  speak  o'  thin^  past  nor  thiilgl 
present.  I  know  you  wouldn't,  Sam,  said  he;  you  wieri| 
always  a  good  feller.  But  it's  on  one  condition,  says  l,jifuk 
that  is  that  you  alfcMV  Polly  Bacon  a  handred  dollars  ft-year 
•^-H^  was  a  good'g^l^  ''^d  a  decent  gall  when  you  ilrfk 
khow'd  her,  and  sh'e'«  in  great  distress  now  to  Slick  ville,  Iwi 
yea.  That's  oafair,  thfU(^  onkind,  Sam,  said  he ;  that's  nol 
the  clean  thing ;  t  can't  ofibrd  it ;  it's  a  breach  o'  confidmoe 


Wfjoa  .me,  said  he,  and,  Sam,  said  he,  a  shakin'  hands  alob|[ 
with  me  at  partin',— excuse  me,  my  good  feller,  but  I  hone  1 
may  never,  have  the  pleasure  td  see  your  face  ag'in.  Dittos 
•ays  I ;  but  mind  the  fifty  dollars  a-year,  or  you  will  see  nM| 
to  a  aartainty — >good  b'ye. 

l^o#1ttfierent  this  cussed  critter  was  from  poor,  dear,  ipod^ 
<dd  Joshua  Hopewell.  I  seed  him  not  long  arter.  On  my  re^ 
tttrn  toConne^ticuti  gist  as  I  was  aparain*  out  o'  Molasses  im> 
Onion  County,  who  should  I  meet  but  minister  amounted  upon 
his  horse,  old  Captain  Jack.  Jack  was  a  racker,  and  lli  h% 
day  about  as  good  a  beast  as  ever  hoisted  tail,  ( vou  knaicwjiMi 
ft  lacker  is,  dMi*t  you  squire  7  said  the  clockmaker ;  they  Wi^| . 


THS  YOLOJITAftY  8YSTBII. 

M  tkt  two  A«t  on  om  lide  fint,  together  like,  and  then  t'other 
W9Wtmiitmi  tiieieiiie  nay  $  and  they  do  nl  over  tiie  ground 
il « ln6Ht  Ml  MHisiii'  aia^,  that's  tertio,)  but  poor  old  critter, 
Ite  lobkid  pretty  atfeak'd.  Yoa  oould  count  hn  ribe  as  flir  «| 
fm  eduM  aee  mm,  and  his  skin  was  drawn  so  tight  over  hiiOt 
•very  tdow  of  minialer's  cane  <m'him  sounded  like  a  drum,  ik 
was  to  boHer*  A  candle  poked  into  him  lighted  would  have 
•hown  through  him  like  a  lantern.  He  carrrad  his  head  down 
te  his  knees,  and  the  hide  seem'd  so  scant  a  pattern,  he  ehowed 
his  teeth  like  a  cross  dog,  and  it  started  his  eyes  and  made 
*<aia  lodk  ull  outside  like  a  weasel*sw  He  actilly  did  look  a« 
if  he  couldoH  help  it.  Minister  had  two  bags  roll*d  up  anid 
tMoo  behind  him,  like  a  portmanter,  and  was  ajo^ing  on 
adookin*  down  on  his  horse,  and  the  horse  alookin' cwwn  on 
tiie  road,  as  if  Im  was  seekin'  a  soft  spot  to  tumble  down  upoB. 

It  WHS  curious  to  see  Captain  Jack  too,  when  he  heerd  old 
6tay  •oomtng  along  full  aplit  behind  him;  he  oock*d  up  hie 
lead  and  tail,  and  prick'd  up  his  ears,  and  look*d  comer  wurp. 
<Mrt  «€  his  eye,  as  much  as  to  say,  if  you  are  for  a  Uck  offt 
^jUartw  cf  a  mile  I  don't  feel  much' up  to  it,  but  t'll  try  yoa 
iny  way  $---so  here's  at  you.  He  did  try  to  do  pretty,  tlnf^ 
sartfai,  as  if  he  was  ashamed  of  looking  so  like  Old  Scratch, 
cist  as  a  feller  does  up  the  shurt«collar.and  c<mibs  his  hair  with 
Sis  fingers,  afore  he  goes  into  the  room  among  the  sallis. 

The  jpoor  skilliton  of  a  beast  was  ginger  |o  the  Dackb(»ie» 
yoa  may  depend^-all  clear  grit ;  what  there,  was  of  him  was 
^halmne ;  that's  a  fact.  But  minister  had  no  rally  abtmt 
MfH;  he  was  proper  chap4allen,  and  looked  as  dismal  as  if 
he  had  lost  every  friend  that  he  had  on  airth.  Why,  minister, 
arys  I,  what  onder  the  sun  is  the  matter  of  you  I  Tou  and 
Ofi|ftain  Jack  look  as  if  you  had  the  cholera ;  whi^  makes 
|0K  so  dismal  and  your  horae  so  thin?  what's  out  a'jdnt 
oowf  Nothin'  gone  wrong,  I  hope,  since  I  left?  Nothin* 
hat  gone  right  with  me,  Sam,  of  late,  said  he;  I've  been 
sorely  tried  with  affliction,  and  my  spirit  is  fairly  humbled. 
rve  been  more  insulted  this  day,  my  son,  than  1  ever  was 
afore  in  all  my  bom  days.  Minister,  savs  I,  I've  gist  one 
fi^Qur  to  ax  o'  you;  give  me  the  sinners  name,  aikd  afore 
daybleak  to-morrow  momin'  I'll  bring  him  to  a  reck'nin'  and 
see  liow  the  balance  stands.  Ill  kick  him  from  here  to  Wash- 
nil^,  and  fimn  Washinston  back  to  Slickville,  and  then  III 
iew*sk»  him,  till  this  riding>whip  is  worn  up  to  shoe-striiM|s, 
iittfidKAi  Um  €\mn  oat  o'^the  State.  The  infernal  viUain  I 
f  • 


ram  obocnunn. 


r 


?!.. 


lill  tM  wlio  he  »,  Mid  if  he  wtsr  m  Wg  u  «U  eat«dM»iii^'llA 

#(lit  1^  hiftt.  m  teaeb  hii»  the  MMul  t»  coed  HWMeiBf  iif^ 
III  etak  Mrre«yei)|^t  to  Mfr  iti-^hang  me  if  1  SomH.  Ifd  lifai 
^  better  Am,  I  vow.  So  gSet  show  ine  the  imuh,  thet  AiMt 
inpuUjroa,  end  if  he  does  so  agio,  111  give  you  leive  lo  Ulk 
flfte  of  It.  Thank  you,  Sem,  aeye  be ;  thenk  yo%ny  hoy^^ 
hk  it*i  beyond  your  help.  It  ain'^t  « fwrsonal  aflHniC  df  thit 
Qtttttr*,  btit  a  spiritual  affront.  It  ein*t  an  affiront  oflhred  to  nm 
ae  Joshua  H^ewell,  so  mueh  as  an  affiront  to  the  nnniiter  oT* 
SHickvilte^  That  is  worse  still,  said  I,  because  you  caa^ 
JjBsettt  it  yourself.  Leave  him  to  me,  and  1*11  fix  his  fli^ 
fbir  him. 

It*s  a  long  story,  Sam,  and  one  to  raise  grief,  but  not  angerHf. 
-^ydu  musn't  talk  or  think  of  i^htin*,  it*s  not  beooraing  * 
Clfetxistian  man,  but  here*s  my  poor  habitations  P«t  up  y<xHr 
hi^i;Be  aod  come  in,  and  we*]l  talk  this  aflitir  over  hy  aind  by. 
Cmn»  in  and  see  me, — ^fbr^  sick  as  I  am,  bioth  |n  body  tm^ 
lAind,  it  will  do  me  good.    You  was  always  a  kind-haartedl 
boy,  Sam,  alid  Pm  glad  to  see  the  heart  in  the  nf^  plamti 
y^t  i—^me  in,  my  ton.    Well,  when  we  got  into  the  ^faoneei 
aiid  sot  down, — says  I,  minister,  what  the  dickens  was  IhenI 
two  great  rolls  o'  canvass  for,  I  seed  snugg'd  up  and  tied  MH 
your  crupper?    You  looked  like  a  man  who  had  talceB  fain 
grist  to  mill,  and  wee  returoin*  with  the  bags  for  another  {"an^ 
what  olider  the  sun  had  you  in  them  ?    I'll  tell  you,  Samj  said 
hfe,'^yod  know,  saidhe,-^when  you  was  to  home,  we  had  4^ 
£!ti^  TVuc  for  the  support  o*  the  church,  and  every  i^an  hid^ 
to  pay  his  share  to  some  church  or  another.    I  mind,  said  1^^ 
quite  welU    Well,  said  he,  the  inimy  of  souls  hae  beea  tm- 
wwrk  among  us,  and  instigated  folks  to  think  this  was  too 
^MnpUlsory  for  a  free  people,  and  smelt  too  strong  of  estdb^ 
lishoielits,  and  the  legislator*  repealed  the  taw;  so  now, liNi 
stead  o*  havin*  a  rigilar  legal  stipind,  we  have  whi^  they  ^lir 
the  voluntary,— «very  man  pays  what  he  likes,  when  he  likeil 
and  to  whpm  he  lik^,  or  if  it  don't  conveM  him  he  payv 
tiotfiin*  ^•-'-do  yon  apprehend  me  ?    As  clear  as  a  boot*|adt» 
sAyi  I ;  nothin*  could  be  plainer,  and  I  suppose  that  aonin  tak' 
your  factory  p^le  that  make  canvass  have  given  yon  a!pi!»> 
sent  of  two  r0Us  of  it  to  make  bags  to  hold  your  pay  iiil 
My  breeches^  pockets,  says  he,  Sam,  aehakin'  o*  hki  head«  1 
eistirhatej  are  big  enough  for  that.     No,  Sam ;  some  subaeribll 
attd"  sbtifie  don't.    So^  eay,  we'll  give,  biit  -we'll  ael^hiad 
oiiftlilViBs  ;^~end  sOme  say,  #eHlaee  ikmaHiL   Well,  iW^elrik 


i* 


vou  ca»*t 
(  hb  flint 

I  up  yowl^^ 

y  Mid  *y.      \ 
k  body  Ml*      ' 

Bd"II8WW» 

right  1»lw» 
theiioawi 
I  wm  ihwBfr 

rkd  tied  to 
tidLen  b% 

,  SaiDi  said 
welMid4if 
y  man  bid^^ 
lind,  said  It^^ 
lae  beea  t9'> 
Its  w«8  too 
of  esM^ 
now,  iif 
.  they^tt 
jnheUkfli« 

[na  be  P«y» 
boot-ja<»t 

lat  aoniMOl^ 
you  a!,  pj*^ 

|h«s  b«ad,  I 
ietubacnbo 
U  BOt;bia^ 


THB  TQUnrriRY  StiTKM.  i 

l?«lNii*>«ltrfod»  «Bd  OB|iteiB  Jack  ddes  look  aa  poor  ar^W 
t«rkogi|ihai**a  Ant  ^  I  thought,  as  tiiiieA  was  hard,  1v 
Iftka  tho  Kagi  aad  get  aooaa  oata  t^  hiin,  ftom  aditie  of  n^ 
attbaonbhlVoo^piegatioB  ^-4t  woidd  saTe'them  the  earii,  ai# 
.oiltt  me  giat  aa  well  aa  the  Uunt.  Wherever  I  wteit,  I  ndlMt' 
have  fUlM  my  baga  with  excusea,  bat  I  got  no  oats  ;-*bat  that 
warn*t  the  worst  of  it  neither,  they  turned  the  tables  on  me 
and  tocrii  me  to  task.  A  new  thing  that  for  me,  I  goess,  in 
my  oid  Me,  to  stand  up  to  be  catekised  like  a  converted  nea- 
tiben.  Why  don't  you,  says  one,  jine  the  Temperance  Socie- 
ty, minister?  Because,  says  I,  there's  no  warrant  for  it  in 
Scriptur',  as  I  see.  A  Christian  obligation  to  sobrie^  is,  in 
my  mind,  afi»e  any  eofgajgemi.  '  on  honour.  C^n't  tMttk, 
aays  he»  of  payin'  to  a  muuster  that  countenances  drunken- 
uesfl*  Says  another,— Hfninister,  do  you  smoke  I  Tes,  saya 
1,1  do  sometimes;  and  I  don't  care  if  I  take  a  pipe  along 
with  you  now ; — it  seems  sociable  like.  Well,  says  be»  it^ 
^  Abuse  o'  the  oritter,^ — a  waste  o'  valuable  time,  and  an  en- 
oouregement  of  slavery ;  I  don't  pay  to  upholders  of  the 
slave  ^stem ;  I  ^  the  whole  figur'  for  abolition.  One  found 
me  too  Galvinisttc,  and  another  too  Arminian;  one  objected 
to  my  praying  for  the  Prendbnt, — for,  he  said,  he  was  an 
eyerlastm'  almighty  rascal  ;->another  to  my  wearin'  a  gown, 
for  It  was  too  Popish.  '  In  short,  I  git  notbin'  but  objections 
to  a'most  every  thing  I  do  or  say,  and  I  see  considerable  plain 
my  inccmie  is  gone ;  I  may  work  for  nothin'  and  find  thread 
now,  if  I  choose.  The  only  one  that  paid  me,  cheated  me^ 
Says  he,  minister,  I've  been  alookin'  for'  you  fbr  some  time 
pustftopay  my  contribution,  and  I  laid  by  twenty  dollars  for 
you^  Thank  you,  said  I,  friend,  but  that  is  more  than  your 
share;  tea  dollars,  I  think,  is  the  amount  of  your  subscrip- 
tiai»  Well,  says  he,  I  know  that,  but  I  like  to  do  things  han^, 
sura')  and  he  who  gives  to  a  minister  lends  to  the  Lord ; — but, 
saps  be^  I'm  dfeer'd  it  won't  turn  out  so  mudi  now,  for  the 
bs^k  has  fail'd  since^  It'-s  a  pity  you  hadn't  acall'd  afore,  but 
yOH  must  take  the  will  for  the  deed.  And  he  banded  me  a 
roU  of  the  Bubble  Bank  paper,  that  ain't  worth  a  cent.  Are 
.  you  sure,  said  I,  that  you  put  this  aside  for  me  when  if  was 
good!  'O  sartaia,  says  hej  I'll  take  my  oath  of  it.  There's 
nqt  'eawon  for  that,  says  I,  my  friend,  nor  for  im  to  take  more 
than  my  due  neither  ,>--^here  are  ten  of  them  back  again.  I 
h^  you  may  not  lose  ^m  altogether,  as  I  fear  I  shall.  But 
IpHSleited  «e»--I  know  he^id. 


<h»  . 


,  iit' 


!:  f 


:  r  ■ 


r  ^■.. 


-i*> 


4N>  TBI  GUXmUHBU 

TbisisUwblonm*ofthevolmte]7,MftFM]*in«oiiMiffidl. 
(How  1*11  teU  you  how  il*«  Moiii*  l»  woift  vpm*  iMnf  WKt 
.awongh  ny  afNoey  tho^,  Ibr  Td  die^nl  ^4«fliM  1*4  dbftirirMll 
^bioglo  gain  tiie  vhol*  uiHf«BB«l  world*  Bat  what  mtffm 
#doia^  oC  S«tn,  said  be*  aerackia'  of  tliat  whip  «or  jHiya  W; 
f«m%  e'en  aaaoot  daefen  me.  Atryin*  of  the  tpriitf  of  it, 
4fy8 1.  The  night  alore  I  go  down  to  Nova  Seotu^  FH  tiMh 
^em  Connectirat  qubk-etep— I'll  tann  *ett  to  nudM  •uuiui'itJli 
r—l^l  make  'em  cut  more  capon  than  the  caravitt  flNtonkiy 
a:^  could  to  save  his  aoul  alive,  I  know.  Fll  qaih  *eaii  ii 
true  as  my  name  is  Sam  Slick;  and  if  they  foller  wm  do#B 
aastyl'U  lambaste  them  back  a  plaguy  sight  quicker  thui  ^bay 
oaine;  the  nasty,  dirty,  mean,  sneaking  villains*  1*11  f^ 
them  a  voluntary — I'll  fk  la  sol  them,  to  a  jig  tune,  a«l  diaf# 

"^em  how  to  count  baker's  dozen.  Crack,  crack,  «radc,  Hm^ 
the  muMC,  miniater;  crack,  craqk,  d-ack,  I'll  set  all  Slhdtviflll 
•yelpin^  I 

jpm  in  trouble  enough,  Sam,  says  he,  without  addia*  that 

'  are  to  it ;  don't  quite  break  my  heart,  for  such  cKtrpafa  im 
would  near  about  kill  me.  Let  the  poor  deluded  eritteTJi  be, 
promise  me  now.  Well,  well,  says  I,  if  you  say  so  H  ishl^ 
he  so,* — but  I  must  say,  I  long  to  be  at  *em;  But  how  iithb 
voluntary  agcnn'  for  to^perate  on  them  ?  Bmitic,  dkire^  tfr 
purgative,  en?  I  hope  it  will  be  all  three,  and  turn  them  in- 
side out,  the  ungrateful  jK»undrils,  and  yet  not  be  gist  strong 
enough  to  turn,  uMm  back  ag'in.  Sam  you're  an  altered  miMi 
says  he.  It  appears  to  me  the  whole  world  is  changed.  Don't 
talk  so  on-Christian :  we  must  forget  and  forgive.  They  wUl 
be  tlie  greatest  suflferers  themselves,  poor  critters,  havtn* 
destroyed  the  independence  of  their  minister, — their  miniMet 
will  pander  to  their  vanity.  He  will  be  afb«r*d  to  tell  th^ni 
unpalatable  truths.  Instead  of  tellin'  'em  they  are  miseiibis 
sinneis  in  need  of  repentance,  he  will  tell  'em  they  are  a  g^fiit 
nation  and  a  great  peojpje,  will  quote  more  history  than  Hi 
Bible,  and  give  'em  orations  not  sarmons,  encomiuiAs  and  jMSt 
censures.  Presents,  ^m,  will  bribe  indutgences.  THeMlMh 
t«esr  wtil  be  a  dum  dog  I  It  serves  'em  right,  says  I  i  I  do^ 
care  what  becomes  of  them.  I  hope  they  will  be  ibniril^i 
for  dum  dogs /bite,  voA  ff  they  drive  vou  mad,— 'as  I  htHSm 
firaim  my  soul  they  will, — -l  hope  you'll  bite  every  one  oa  ^sm. 
But,  says  I^'4muHster,  telkinf  of  pres^ite,  Pve  ^  oiM'Wt 
yOK  that's  somethin*  like  the  thingrtlmow;  and  I.tiM)k,  IMt 
my  pocket-book  and  gave  him  a  himdnid'  doOMIu  ^  f  iHfH 
I  mar  be  shot  if  I  didn\ 


I  felt  eo  sorry  for  him. 


ring  of  % 
3 


'numiM  A  «Aftiliioo« 


t 


m  ntoiih«3r 
r  mBid(y#n 

.  I'tt  ptey 

i\\  SHfikyiQB 

t  addin*  diit 
cairvinVte 
1  entlBTt  be, 

at  how  ii  tlie 
5^  dhiiwii*  *^-. 
urn  tbem  in- 
e  gist  strong 
Altered  nAti^ 

.    They  wm 
itters,  havia* 
their  nriniite* 
to  tell  theiii 
tre  iHisciiBWi 
>yareagi*itt 
tory  than  ^ 
liuniM  *tid  ii* 

be  (nfMr^R^ 

«s{b^i^ 

0IIJII  eii  \an* 

got  (HMI  t^ 

id  Ltook  /<Bitt 


IMS  ftomt  mM  H  •mtlta^    Frnn  Aiaboma,  iild 
told  mt  Mito  ffintbii  fate  ntilhie.  ^  Well,  jMU 


mi^he<aneel  oMid  huff  Hftnrd  him  ibr  that«  and  not  Mt 
too  much  obligation.  Pret$ntt  tf  wioiup  iiffun  both  HU  gitef 
fM#  ffrisiiMi*,  knd  4inlnjf  tht  tmtiUbmm  qffiritndthify  wti~ 
r,iiiw<w>#  irndtpendmn  mid  M^'Ptiptet  i  but  Vs  all  right ;  it 
•4irill  enable  me  to  send  ii0f|hDour  lDtarboum*s  two  sons  to 
school,  it  will  do  good.  *uute  little  Ibll«f8  them,  Sam,  and 
-  .wiU  make  considerable  smart  men,  if  they  are  properly  seed 
<io;.  buttbs  old  gentlentln,  their  flithefi  is,  like  myself,  nearN 
^osad  up,  and  pwguy  poor*  Thinks  1,  if  thatta  your  sort,  obi 
*  Nrifh  I  had  «     *     '    '  '  " 


liMUtlMian,I.wi 


my  hundred  dotlars  in  my  pocket- 


book  agMn,  as  snug  as  %  bug  in  •  rug,  and  neighbour  Dear? 
boum*s  two  sons  might  go  end  whistle  for  their  schoolin*. 
Whoihe  plague  cares  whether  thev  have  any  laming  or  n<^t 
.Fis  sure  1  don't.  It's  the  first  or  the  yoluntary  system  pve 
tiiad,  and  I'm  sure  it  will  be  the  list. 
.;  Fes,  sres,  sfuire,  ^  whmkiry  donU  work  iteJlr^ha^a  a 
fiM,  Aha^  ha§  htt  ki»  Kul  to  MU  hit  boifft  niinister  ItOa 
MT  kitbodff  to  m9€  hit  toulf  and  Ttt  Iditf  my  hundred  doBan 
4Haft9Mt€  my  fetUnt\  Th$  duet  takt  At  ttoluniary,  I»a$. 


CHAPTER  III. 
TRAINIMO  A  OARglBOa 


in  the  evening  wweauntefed  out  on  the  bank  of  the  river, 
4ii(.SliGk  taking  his  rifle  with  him,  to  shoot  blue-wioge4  duck,. 
4hfit  often  float  up  the  Avon  with  the  tide  in  great  numbers. 
fie  made  several  shots  with  remarkable  aeeuracy,  but  haviii^ 
4iQkdogs  w«  lost  all  the  birds,  but  two,  in  the  eddies  of  this 
•rapid  nver.  It  was  a  deMghtAil  evening,  and  on  our  return 
we  asiottnded  .the  cUtf  that  overlooks  the  village  and  the  sun 
southing  coentiryj  and  sat  ddwn  on  the  projecting  point  of 
liittieatone  rock,  to  enjov  the  Sl^Hes  of  the  sunset.  ^ 

Thts«venia',4aid  mr,  illeli,  reminds  me  of  one  I  spent  tm 
aaHifr  way  at  Toronto,  in  Upper  Canada,  and  of  a  converaa- 
tbn  I  had  with  a  British  traveller  there.  There  was  only 
binasetfand  me  at  the  inn,  and  bavin'  nothin'  above  partikilar 
y  do,  eays  I,  'bpoee  we  take  the  rifle  and  walk  down  by  the 


r 


0  fWI.  OUWSaMNHU 

Uk»  this  ipleBdid  aftenoo^;  wbo  InxMvt  Int  «•  anfht  «n 
•omethm'  or  anoUwr  to  ahoot  T  So  off  we  tot,  «nd  ll  mi  io 
oool  and  pIoMwit  we  atroUM  »  ooaaiderable  diitiiMe  Jl^lki 
Jbaacbf  which  ia  like  thia,  all  Itaiaatoiie  grovel,  ealyilaam 
and'teM  aedemoBt  in  it. 

When  we  oot  tirad  of  the  glare  of  the  water,  and  «jlMt)r 
yaltor  scum  that  waa  on  it  at  that  aeaaon,  we  tnroed  «p4^tMri 
thatl^  into  the  wooda.  Why,  aaya  I,  if  there  ainU  «  Qani* 
boo,  aa  Fm  alive.  Where?  aaid  he,  aeizin*  the  rifl%  and 
bringin*  it  to  his  ahoulder  with  great  eagemesaf— wheae  ii  ill 
far  hwveiCM  eake  let  me  have  a  ahot  at  it !  l^  have  long  wiah^d^ 
anid  he,  to  have  it,  io  aay,  before  I  leave  the  province,  that  I 
had  performed^lfairt  feat  of  killin*  a  Cavriboo.  CHi,  Loid  t  aai|il 
•it  throwin,'  H]p  the  point  of  the  gun  to  prevent  an  aecideiiM*^ 
Oh,  JLor/l  it  ain*t  one  o*  them  are  sort  o*  critters  tA  aUf  i^ 
a  human  Carriboo.  It*a  a  nmnber,  him  tbat*8  in  Uuit  are  jrift 
IqoJcin^as  wise  as  a  barber's  block  with  a  new  wig  on  it*  IImi 
T^oronto  folks  call  *em  Carriboos,  'cause  they  are  untanad 
wild  orittera  from  the  woods,  and  come  down  in  drevea  to  lim 
tegislatur*.  I  guess  he's  agoin'  to  spend  the  night  to  the  hold, 
where  we  be ;  if  he  is,  Fll  bring  him  into  our  room  and.tiMfe 
hkn;  you'll  see  what  sort  o'  folks  makes  lawin  sometiflMah«^|l 
do  l-rlieve,  arter  all,  says  I,  this  univarsal  suffrage  will  niake 
univursal  fools  of  us  all; — ^it  ain't  one  man  in  a  thousand 
knows  how  to  choose  a  horse,  much  less  a  menUier,  ajid  yet 
there  are  some  standin'  rules  about  the  horse,  that  moat  any 
one  can  lam,  if  he'll  give  his  mind  to  it.  There's  the  mane 
o'  mouth, — then  therms  the  limbs,  shape,  make,  and  soond- 
ness  of  'em ;  the  eye,  the  shoulder,  and,  above  all,  the  aoti<Mi* 
It  seems  all  plain  enough,  and  yet  it  takes  a  oonsideraMe  'eote 
man  to  make  a  horse-jockey,  and  a  little  grain  of  the  roi|iiB 
too ;  for  there  is  no  mistake  alwut  the  matter — ^you  must  b$^ 
[ew  to  put  'em  off  well.  Now,  that's  only  the  lowest  grade 
1^  knowledge.  It  takes  more  skill  yet  to  be  a  nigger-jooteyw 
A  nigger-jockey,  said  he;  for  heaven's  sake,  what  is  thati  1 
never  heer'd  the  term  afbre,  since  I  was  a  created  sinner^ 
hope  I  may^  be  shot  if  I  did.  Possible,  said  I,  never  hter^ 
tell  of  a  nigger-jockey  i  My  sakes,  you  mast  eome  to  tti 
Slates  V  then  ;—^ we'll  put  more  wrinkles  <mi  your  home  iil^A 
month  than  you'll  get  in  twenty  yeare  here,  for  these  oritlMV 
don't  know  not^n'.  A  nigger-jockey,  sir,  says  Ij  is  a  gen^ 
tioan  thiu  trades  in  niggera,— 4niys  them  in  one  States  aoMKI 
1^m^ja^^f0^m^m^^y  «rVt  knownk^^^i  a.  btaoliM 


iiiaini,  b  hImw  Hwh ;  it^  what  tte  fetrywrt  call  a  liberal 
motmAoiu  fJade  Enoeh  made  eDough  in  one  year's  tniitf 
IB  niggerB  to  buy  a  splendid  pfamtation ;  but  H  ain't  every  one 
liMil%  up  %o  it.  A  man  must  have  hb  eye  teeth  out  afore  be 
takes  up  that  trade,  or  he  is  apt  to  be  let  in  for  it  himselfi  in- 
•Isad  of  putting  a  leake  into  others;  that's  a  (act.  Niggers 
donH  sbo#  their  aoe  lik«)  white  folk,  and  they  are  most  always 
oMer  than  they  look.  A  little  rest,  ilein'  the  joints,  good  feed, 
a  eleaa  riiirt,  a  false  tooth  or  two,  and  dyin'  the  wod  black 
if  it's  got  gra^,  keepin'  'em  close  shav'd,  and  gist  given'  'em 
a  glass  'o  whiskey  or  two  afore  the  sale,  to  brighten  up  the 
eye,  has  put  off  many  an  old'nig^r  of  fifty-ftve  for  forty.  It 
does  more  than  trimmin'  and  groomin'  a  horse,  by  a  long 
dwlk.  Then  if  a  man  knows  geography,  he  fixes  on  a  spot 
in  the  next  State  for  meetin'  ag'in,  slips  a  few  dollars  in  Sam« 
bo^s  handi  and  Sambo  slipa  the  halter  off  in  the  manger,  meets 
nassa  there,  and  is  sold  a  second  time  ag'in.  Wash  the  dye 
eat^  let  the  beard  grow,  and  remove  the  tooth,  and  the  devil 
hioMielf  couldn't  swear  to  him  ag'in. 

y  ii  ktktBSo  muck  knowledge  to  ehoo$e  a  ikorse,  or  ehoom 
m  nigger-t  what  mvti  it  take  to  -ehooee  a  mmAer  f — Who 
kuows  he  won't  give  the  people  the  slip  as  Sambo  does  the. 
first  master;  ay,  and  look  aa  dif^rent  too,  as  a  nieser  does, 
when  die  dye  rubs  out,  and  his  black  wool  looks  white  ag'in. 
Ah,  s<inire,  there  are  tricks  in  all  '  .tides,  I  do  believe,  except 
the  clock  trade.  The  nigger  business,  says  I,  is  apt  to  get  a 
man  into  court,  too,  as  much  as  the  horse  trade,  if  he  don't 
know  the  quirks  of  the  law.  I  shall  never  forget  a  joke  I 
passed  off  once  on  a  Southerner.  I  had  bmn  down  to 
Oharleston,  South  Carr,  where  brother  Siidi  is  located  as  a 
lawyer,  ^nd  drives  a  considerable  business  in  that  Ime.  Well^ 
one  day  as  I  was  awalkin'  along  out  o'  town,  asmokin'  of  my 
eigar,  who  should  I  meet  but  a  poor  old  nigger,  with  a'moet 
aa  almighty  heavy  load  of  pine* wood  on  his  back,  as  much  aa 
ke  eottid  cteverly  stagger  ondec  Why,  Sambo,  said  I,  whose 
dave.be  youl  You've  got  a  considerable  of  a  heavy  loml 
there  for  a  man'  of  your  years^  Oh,  Massa,  says,  he,  6or 
C^igh^  Mess  you  (and  he  laid  down  his  load,  and  puttin* 
one  h«id  on  his. loins,  and  t'other  on  his  thigh,  he  tried  to 
slfi^;iitm  ymaelf  up.)  I  iVee  man  now,  I  no  longer  slave  im> 
tamn*^  I  purchased  my  freedom  firom  Gineral  Crocodile,  him 
Ibit  Itoepa  public  at  Mud  Creek.  Oh^  Massa,  but  him  gineral 
toii  an  is  tarrtbla,  by  gCMh  I    Says  he>  Pompey,  says  bti 


t 

fMi  QB9  meiTf  goi>d  nifger,  wevry  ikithAil  MfBtr.  i  _ 
opinion  of  you*  Pompey  j  Imake  a  hmui  of  ;^ou,  yon  d>M  ^W 
l«r-bnuh.  I  hope  I  nwy  be  akiniied  alive  witk  wild  oatt  if  I 
don't.  How  much  money  you  mvoi  Pomp  T  Hunder  dolkm^ 
eaya  I.  Well»  eave  he,  I  will  eell  you  your  freedom  Ibr  that 
lire  little  sum.  Oh»  maaaa  gineral,  I  eaid,  I  believe  I  Kb  and 
die  wid-you ;— what  old  man  like  me  do  now  7'  I  too  oM  Imt 
ilraetrnm.  O  no>  massa,  leab  poor  old  Pomp  to  die  aiiira|f  do 
niflgers.  I  tend  young  massa  Gineral  and  littlo  n^y  wae* 
pair  Aod  teach  *em  how  to  cow>skin  de  black  vilkune.  Oh, 
you  emairt  man  yet,  be  says,— -fiiiie  aoiiiui,  worry  smart  man, 
you  aim  a  great  deal  o'  money : — I  too  great  regard  for  you 
to  keep  you  slave  any  longer.  Well,  he  persuade  me  at  laoi, 
and  I  buy  freedom,  and  now  I  starve.  I  hab  no  one  to  take 
care  ob  me  now;  I  old  and  good  for  nothin'— I  wisb'oM 
Pomp  very  much  dead ;— cmd  ha  boohood  right  out  hko,  a 
ohild.  Then  be  sold  you  to  yourself,  did  he?  Yee,  miiia, 
piid  he,  and  here  de  paper  and  de  InII  ob  safe.  And  he  toM 
you  you  $ound  nuM  yet  ?  True,  massa,  ebbery  word.  Thopi'', 
oays  I,  come  along  with  me ;  and  I  toated  him  ohMOu;  into 
Cwth^il  office.  Sy,  says  I,  here's  a  job  for  you.  Cnnend 
Orocodile  mAd  tbis  poor  old  nigger  to  himself,  and  wafiintod 
him  aemid  wind  and  limb.  He  cheated  him  like  a  cantin'  hgrp 
pocriticol  unner  as  he  is,  for  he's  foundered  in  his  rig^t  fiMtt, 
jMid  ringboned  on  the  leA.  Sue  him  on  his  warranty— thero^a 
some  fun  in't.-^Fun,  said  Sy,  I  tell  you  it's  a  capital  joke ; 
aiMl  he  jump'd  up  and  danced  round  hia  ofiice  asnappin'  of  Ua 
lingers,  as  if  he  were  bit  by  a  galley-nif^r.  How  it  wttl 
icomflustrigate  old  Sim  Ileter,  the  judf^,  won't  it?  I'll  baai. 
bousle  hkn,  I'll  befogify  his  brain  for  him  with  warrantita 
general,  special,  and  implied, ,  texts,  notes,  and  comentnea. 
I'll  lead  him  a  dance  through  civil  law,  and  common  lai|^,  aad 
jitatute  Uw ;  I'll  read  old  I^tin,  old  French,  and  old  Bn^^ish 
to  him ;  I'll  make  his  head  turn  like  a  mill-stooe ;  PU  make 
km  stare  like  an  owl  atrying  to  read  by  day-lisht ;  and  he 
larfed  ready  to  kill  himself.  Sure  <hiough  he  did  bother  hbn 
fo  agoin,'  up  from  one  court  to  another,  that  Crocodile  wda 
glad. to  compound  the  matter  to  get  clear  of  the  jdlle,'MUl 
paid'old  Pomp  hu  hundred  dollars  back  again ;  ttot'a«fact. 
.  In  the  course  of  the  evenin',  Mr.  Buck,  the  meaobelr^i^ 
for,  the  township  of  Flats,  i&  the  Home  dii^t,x)ame  inr^nnd 
1  tntrodaced  him  vdth  much  ceremony  to  the  B^tl8^«4^^>">i^ 
|!^;hioi a  wink  at,  the  jamo  time,  aa  much  *■  tO' say,  wig^ 


Mr.  Buck. 


TRANPHM  A 

dbtpjrwUi^Jwtyto  tMiftaCwiilKM.  W«ll,  Sqmiv  laek, 
•tid  J,  I  vow  rm  gUd  lo  ••»  you  i^mhom  did  you  loavo  Ifn. 
Buok  wmI  oil  to  homo  T*-iill  weli,  I  hopo  t  ReawmaUo  ii«U» 
.  givo  you  tbanki,  sir,  Mid  ho.  And  ao  thoy'vo  oloclod  you, 
t  «omiMr«  oh?  Woll,  thoy  wanlod  aomo  hoBort  moii  Maoag 
iat*o  0  fact,  and  aono  ooderalaBdiii*  men  too|  how  d» 
Tory,  or  Radical  I  Oh*  popular  aide  of  oourae,  aidd 
(k.  M*Ken2ie  and  Papinau  havo  opon*d  my  oyoa  I  tall 
you  i  I  bad  no  notion  afore  our  government  waa  ao  fotli»«- 
rm  for  elective  councils,  short  parliamenta,  ballot,  univMwl 
WlfliNtge»  and  ag*in  all  oflloiaU.  Rivht,  said  I,  vou  are  on  th#. 
r%h|  aide  then,  aod  no  mistake.  YouVe  a  plain  path  afora 
you  t  go  straight  ahead,  and  there's  no  fear.  I  should  like  lo 
do  m>,  aaid  he,  but  I  don*t  underataod  theae  matters  enough, 
Vm  a|aer*d,  to  probe ''em  to  the  bottom ;  perhapa  you'll  be  ao 
mod  aa  to  advise  me  a  little.  I  should  like  to  talk  over  thaao 
.UUQga  with  you,  as  they  say  you  are  a  considerable  of  an  on- 
daratandin'  man,  and  have  aeed  a  good  deal  of  the  world. 
Wq)1,  said  I,  nothin*  would  hapify  me  more,  I  do  aasure  you*. 
Be  iadapendent,  that's  the  great  thing;  ^  independent,  thm 
is,  irttack  every  thing.  First  of  all,  there'*  the  Church ;  that'*: 
B  gjmd  tarjget,  fire  away  at  that  till  you  are  tired.  Mtdae  « 
fr^ttfU^e  V[  1f<»i  can,  and  thgn  make  every  thiw  a  Ckitreh 
fvesltoii.  But  I'm  a  churchman  myself,  Mr. Slick;  and  yoa 
wouldn't  hfltve  me  attack  my  own  churdi,  would  you  t  jSo 
much  the  better,  said  I,  it  looks  liberal  \--*rue  liberaliijf,  aa 
for  Of  py  earpmence  goe»,  Ztes  tn  praintC  every  other 
ekurchjf  and  akuniCofymir  own  ;  it's  only  bigots  that  attacks 
other  JEolks'  doctrine  and  tenets ;  no  strons-minded,  straight, 
attend,  r%ht  up  and  down  man  does  that.  It  shows  a  narrer ' 
quad  and  narrer  heart  thdt.  But  what  fault  is  there  with  tho 
church?, said  |m:  they  mind  their  own  business,  as  for  as  I 
see,  and  let  other  folks  alone ;  they  have  no  privilege  here 
that  I  know  on,  that  other  secta  ba'en't  ^ot.  It's  pop'lar  talk 
among  aome  folks,  and  that's  enough,  siud  I.  They  are  ridi, 
i^jBid  their  clergy  are  larned  and  genteel,  and  there's  a  good 
many  envious  people  in  the  world; — there's  radicals  in  .reli- 
i»en  aa  w:eU  as  m  politics,  that  would  like  to  see  'era  all 
brought  to  a  Jevel.  AihI  then  there's  church  hinds:  talk 
dbout  dividin'  (iKsm  atnong  other  sects^givin'  them  to  schools, 
Md  00,00.  There's ~i)p  harm  in  robung  Peter  if  you  pay 
Fiwlt  witj^  »t—- a  iair  ex<phaiigo  is  no  rob^y,  all  the  worU 
or^l.tliaii  wind  up  witn  it  church  titht  sale,  and  a.  military 


iiliiinw  Hi  a  faot  ^vmmMxf  old  iramia  tlvt  in»  tegaaMMl 
WytMAf^mniktA  todMra  «Mle  irytn*  to  mt«  her  M*  n 
yal  iiMke  an  ailbcUir  apaeck,  draw  leara  flron  tho  failer]^ 
ilMl  rinmdan  of  anplauw  from  the  Hoaia.  | 

'  ^rhan  there*!  joagaa,  another  grand  mark ;  and  eoonoiltori 
Hid  rieb  men  t  call  *em  the  little  Mg  men  oi^a  lUde  ookM 
the  wottld-bo  arialocrae7-»the  offielal  ganf— the  fliT0ur<| 
hw ;  call  *em  by  their  Chriitian  and  aumamei  (  John  0eii 

Sd  Hichard  Pen,  turn  upjrour  noeea  at  'em  like  a  horie% 
I  tiiat't  double-niek*d»  l^lariee  are  a  never-endbg  theme 
ft»  you;  officials  shouldn't  be  paid  at  all;  the  hcmour  fap' 
aiottgh  for  'em;  a  patriot  sarrea  his  country  for  notbin% 
Mm  some  big  salary  for  a  text,  and  treat  it  this  Kray :  saya 
JMMii  there's  John  Doe's  salary,  it  is  seven  hundred  and  thirty 
pounds  a  year^  that  is  two  pounds  a  day.  Now,  aays  you, 
thit  is  sixteen  common  labourers'  pay  at  two  and  six-pence 
eMKih  par  day  ;•— shall  it  be  said  that  one  great  mammoth  oA^ 
onil  it  worth  sixteen  free  citixens  who  toil  harder  and  hx9 
Irene  thnn'he  does?  then  take  his  income  for  ten  yeara  an^ 
iMdtiply  it.  See,  says  yoil;'  in  ten  years  he  has  receiyed  the 
ciiomioua  sutn  of  seven  thousand  five  hundred  pounds :  then 
rim  over  all  the  things  seven  thousand  five  hundred  pounda 
would  eflbct  on  r^ads,  bridges,  schools,  and  so  on,  and  chafaBi> 
kStn  inth-havin'  been  the  means  of  robbin'  the  country  of  all 
these  Ueaain's:  call  'em  blood-suckers,  pampered  miniont. 
Moated  leeches.  Then  there's  the  college,  says  you ;  it's  for 
the  aristocracy,  to  keep  up  distinctions,  to  rivet  our  fetters,  to 
make  the  rich  richer,  and  the  strong  stronger;  talk  of  native 
geiuua  and  self-taught  artists,  of  natures  scholars,  of  home* 
spun  talent ;  it  flatters  the  multitude  this — ^it's  poplar,  you 
may  depend.  Call  the  troops  mercenaries,  vile  hireling,  de- 
anraded  slaves ;  turn  up  your  eyes  to  the  ceiling  and.  mvbke 
oif^  and  slaughter  on  'em,  if  they  dare  to  enforce  the  law ; 
idHt  of  standing  armies,  of  slavery,  of  legionary  tyrants,— 
odfl  *em  foreigners;  vultun  thirsting  for  bloody — ^butchers,-— 
vi^er^  man  killed  in  a  row,  or  a  mob,  call  a  victim,  a  antfr- 
dttedmant — that's  your  sort,  my  durlin'-^p)  the  whol^ 
vttA  do  the  dilng  genteel.  Anjf  ikii^  fftol^tes  ^^omtr 
wHaiu  loiU  pUa»e  the  wuutes.  It  tMie  was  nothm'  to 
ibaatc  would  be  no  champions;  if  there  is  no  giievanoe  yoii 
muiil  make  one :  call  all  bhanges  reform,  whether  II  nvK^  it 
baiter  Qv  not,— any  thing  you  want  to  alteCft^eali  aii  ii^ii».' 
AfiUMtt- oppose  youi  call  anti-refomars,  nphoUbrt'oC  '  '""^'^ 


I' 


BI|Bb,  vyoovlpali^  nam  wiiiig  Tofitt.  8^  thty  Uv« 
wrruyHoiit  by  opniiiila*  tte  f2^»la,  Mid  liMit*a  tb« 
HmjT  oMoai  all  cMiam.  Hmt  mimk&A  llMy*ll  look,  wqb*I 
they  1  It  will  nake  Uwin  tenitob  tMr  ImMb  and  alaidC  I 
know.  If  thare*!  any  man  yoo  don't  liko,  uaa  your  piif  ilayi 
and  mImim  him  Uka  OM  Somioh»— laah  hin  Uka  a  niigm,  airt 
him  up  baantifal— oh,  if  a  a  |^nd  privilaga  that  1  Th.  tU% 
and  y^*!!  ba  tha  spoakar  at  tha  Houaa^  tha  ftrit  pol^hook  aft 
the  crane,  tha  truckla-lk;«d  and  cap-eheara— you  will,  1  anoaa* 
IVell,  it  doea  open  a  wide  field,  don't  it,  eaid  If  r.  Buofc,  ibr  an 
ambltioaa  mani  I  tow,  I  b^va  1*11  take  yoiir  adTioa;  I 
like  the  idea  amasinMy.  Lord,  I  wish  I  could  talk  lika  you« 
^yon  do  trip  it  off  so  glib— 1*11  take  your  advioa  tho*— 1  wiH, 
I  vow.  Well  then,  Mr.  Buck,  if  you  really  will  take  my  ad* 
vice,  1*11  9Te  h  to  you,  aaid  I,  ftwgratia  for  notbin*.  Ba 
honeat,  be  oonsiatient,  be  temperate;  te  rather  tha  advoaala 
of  internal  improvemant  than  political  chanoe  {  of  rational 
teibrm,  but  Hot  organic  alterationa.  Neither  Batter  tha  moh| 
nor  flatter  the  government;  aapport  what  ia  r^t,  oppma 
what  ia  wrong ;  what  you  think,  apeak ;  try  to  aatiafy  yom^ 
aeif,  and. not  othan;  aod  if  you  are  not  popular,  you  wtU  at 
leaat  be  reapeoted ;  popularity  laata  but  a  day,  laapaet  wfll 
deacana  aa-a  hariti^  to  your  ohildran. 


Mi 


CHAPTER  IV. 
NICK  BRAD8HAW. 


Wi  left  Gaapereaux  eariy  in  the  monrfng,  intendinf  la 
bfRHklkat  at  Kentvilie.  The  air  waa  cool  aikl  bracing,  and 
the  sun,  which  had  jpat  riaen,  abed  a  luatre  over  the  aoenwy 
of  this  beautiftil  and  fertile  valley,  which  gave  it  a  freah  and 
^wing  appearance.  A  aplendid  country  thia,  aquire,  aaid 
me  ClMkmaker ;  that'a  a  fact ;  the  Lord  never  made  the  beat 
of  it.  I  wouldn't  ajK  no  better  location  in  the  farmin'  line 
than  any  of  theae  aMotmenta;  grand  grazin'  grounda  and 
auperfine  tillage,  landa.  A  man  that  know'd  what  he  waa 
about  m^ht  live  like  afightin*  cook  here,  and  no  great  acntdi- 
ta*  for  it  neither.  Do  you  aee  that  are  houae  on  that  riain' 
hUiimock  toihe  right  tbeiat  Well,  giat  kx>k  at  it,  that'a  what 
t'iiar  Hbodt  i^ht.    Fhudied  on  both  aidea  by  «n  orchard  of 


M 


TBS  OLOOUf  AKBE. 


r 


iMMt^rafled  fruit,  a  tidj  little  elever  flowar-garden  m  iroiil» 
that  the  galla  tee  to,  aod  a'most' a  grand  aaroe  gardcin  omi 
the  road  there  sheltered  by  them  are  willow*.  At  the  baok 
iu6»  see  them  everlastin*  big  bams ;  and,  by  gosh  1  there  goea 
the  dairy  oowa;  a  pretty  sight  too,  that  fourteen  of -oai 
laarchin*  Indgian  file  arter  milkio',  down  to  that  are  roeddor. 
Whenever  you  see  a  place  all  snugged  up  and  lookin*  like  that 
arer  depend  on  it  the  folks  are  of  the  right  kind.*  Them  flowers 
too,  and  that  are  honeysuckle,  and  rose-bushes  show  the 
fiimily  are  brought  up  right ;  somethin'  to  do  at  home,  instead 
of  rocin'  about  to  quiltin*  parties,  huskin'  frolics,  gossiping 
talkin'  scandal,  and  n^lectin'  their  business.  Them  little 
matters  are  like  throwin'  up  straws,  they  show  which' way  the 
wind  is.  When  galls  attend  to  them  are  things,  it  shows  that 
they  are  what  our  minister  used  to  call  "right-minded-"  l|t 
keeps  them  busy,  and  when  folks  are  busy,  they  ha Vt  time  to 
get  into  mischief;  and  it  amuses  them  too,  and  it  keeps  the 
dear  little  crittera  healthy  and  cheerful.  I  believe  I'll  alight 
and  Sreakfast  there,  if  youVe  no  objection.  I  should  like  to 
see  that  citizen's  improvements,  and  he's  a  plaguy  nice  man 
too,  and.  will  be  proud  to  see  you,  you  may  depend. 

We  accordingly  drove  up  to  the  door,  where  we  were  met 
by  Inquire  James  Horton,  a  respectable,  intelligent,  cheerfulr 
looking  man,  apparently  of  about  fifly  years  of  age.  Hja 
received  me  with  all  the  ease  and  warmth  of  a  man  to  whom 
hospitality  was  habitual  and  agreeable, — thanked  Mr.  Slick 
for  bringing  me  to  see  him,  and  observed  that  ^le  was  a  plain 
farmer,  and  lived  without  any  pretensions  to  be  other  than  he 
was,  and  that  he  always  felt  pleased  and  gratified  to  see  any 
stranger  who  would  do  him  the  favour  to  call,  upon  him,  and 
would  accommodate  himself  to  the  plain  fare  of  a  plain  coun- 
tryman. He  said  he  lived  out  of  the  world,  and  the  conversa- 
tion of  strangers  was  oflen  instructive,  and  always  accept- 
able to  him.  He  then  conducted  us  into  the  house,  and 
introduced  us  to  his  wife  and  daughters,  two. very  handsome 
and  extremely  interesting  girls,  who  had  just  retuned  from 
superintending  the  operations  of  the  dai<'y.  I  was  particularly 
struck  with  the  extreme  neatness  and  propriety  of  thek  attire, 
plain  and  suitable  to  their  morning  occupations,  but  scrup^- 
UMisly  nice  in  its  appearance.  . 

As  the  clock  struck  seven,  (a  wooden  clock,  to  which  Mr* 
Blick  looked  with  evident  satisfaction  as  a  proof  of  bis  pr«- 
nmut  acquaintance,)  the  family  were  sununoned,  and  Mr, 


Horloa  addnMMd  ft  thort  but  very  appn^rwte  pravef  lo  Um 
TbfOM  of  Onee,  reodttriog  the  tribute  of  a  gnteful  heart  fmt 
tiw  BUimtroiM  blMtingt  with  which  he  was  surrounded,  and 
•oppUeatinff  a  contimtanoe  of  divine  favour.  There  was  some- 
thiii(^  touobing  10  the  finipUcity  and  fervour  of  bis  muiner 
tnd  in  the  unpretending  style  of  hb  devotion,  while  there  waa  - 
a  total  abwnce  of  that  familiar  tone  of  address  so  common  ia 
Amerioai  which,  often  bordering  on  profanity,  shocks  and  dis- 
gusts those  whoi  have  be^i  accustomed  to  the  mere  decorous 
and  roroeetAil  language  of  our  beautiful  liturgy. 

BreakfiMt  was  soon  announced,  and  we  sat  down  to  an 
•KceUent  and  substantial  repast,  every  thing  abundant  and  good 
of  its  kind,  and  the  whole  prepared  with  a  neatness  that 
biispoke  a  wetl-rettulated  and  orderly  family.    We  were  tbea 
oondttoted  round  the  farm,  and  admired  the  method,  regularity^ 
J^  good  order  of  the  establishment.    I  guess  this  might 
compare  with  any  of  your  English  farms,  said  the  Clockt; 
mdker ;  it  looks  pretty  considerable  slick  this — don't  it  ?    Wo»' 
bftvo  ureftt  advantages  in  this  country,  said  Mr.  Horton ;  otti(- 
■oU  is  naturallv  good,  and  we  Jiave  such  an  abundance  of  salf' 
sludge  on  the  banks  of  the  rivers,  that  we  are  enabled  to  ptrilf' 
our  uplands  in  the  highest  state  of  cultivation.     Industry  and 
economy  can  accompTifih  any  thing  here.    We  have  not  only 
good  markets,  but  we  enioy  an  almost  total  exemption  from> 
taxation.    We  have  a  mild  and  paternal  government,  our  laws 
are  well  and  impartially  administered,  and  we  enjoy  as  much 
personal  fireedom  as  is  consistent  with  the  peace  and  good 
order  of  spcietyt    God  grant  that  it  may  long  continue  sol 
and  that  we  may  render  ourselves  worthy  of  these  blessings, 
by  yielding  the  homage  of  grateful  hearts  to  the  Great  Author 
and  Giver  of  all  good  things.    A  bell  ringing  at  the  house  at 
this  time,  remind^  us  that  we  were  probably  interfering  with 
some  of  hii  arrangements,  and  we  took  leave  of  our  kind  host^ 
and  proceeded  on  our  journey,  strongly  impresded  with  those" 
^linoi  which  a  scene  of  domestic  happiness  and  rural  felicity 
like  thli  never  fkils  to  inspire. 

Wo' had  not  driven  more  than  two  or  three  miles  before 
Mr.  Slick  suddenly  checked  his  horse,  and  pointing  to  a  farm 
on  the  right-hand  side  of  the  road,  said.  Now  there  is  a  con- 
tnwt  for  you,  with  a  vengeance.  That  critter,  said  he,  when 
)m  buUt  that  wiiaok  of  a  house,  (they  call  'em  a  half-house 
hefOf)  intmded  to  add  as  much  more  to  it  some  of  these  days, 
•nd  ftooordingly  put  l|ia  chimbley  outside,  to  sftrve  the  new 


J    - 
I 


^ 


■  ^ 


jMirt>M  ireli  t«  tbe  old.  Ha  has  been  loo  hsv^  yw  «••!  I* 
iwnove  the  beakin*  put  there  the  first  f»ll,  to  keep  tfa»fltMt 
Mt  a'  tli»:<;ettKr,  and  it  hat  rotted  the  aille  off;  and  tjhm  hovm 
hw  felt  awaj  from  the  chimbley,  and  he  has  had  ito  prop  k 
ap  ifiA  that  great  atick  of  timber,  to  keep  it  firom  oomin' 
ibwn  on  its  knees  altogether.  ,  All  the  Wmdetrs  are  bdardii 
mp  but  one,  and  that  has  all  the  glass  broke  out.  Look  at  th« 
bun  !~^the  roof  has  fell  in  in  tl»  middle,  and  the  two  ^blea 
stand  starin'  each  other  in  the  ftice,  as  if  they  wodd  hke  to 
come  closer  together  if  they  couldj  and  consult  what  was  belt 
to  be  done.  Them  old  geese  and  vetren  fowls,  that  a,re  so 
poor  the  foxes  won't  steal  'em  for  fear  of  hurtin'  their  teeth,*^^ 
that  little  yaller,  lantem-jawed,  long-leg^,  rabbit-eared^  irunt 
ui  a  pig,  that's  so  weak  it  can't  turn  its  tail  up,— that  oM 
fiwme  of  a  cow,  astandin'  there  with  its  eyes  shot^o,  acontemi 
platin'  of  its  latter  eend, — and  that  vurmint-iookin'  horse,  wiili 
his  hocks  -swell'd  bi^r  than  his  belly,  that  looks  as  if  he  had 
oonie  to  her  funerar,->-is  all  his  stock,  I  guess.  The  gOMPf  - 
hatf  showed  his  sense  in  one  thii^,  however,  he  has  bimit  an 
his  fence  up ;  for  there  is  no  danger  of  other  folks'  cattto 
breakin'  into  his  field  to  starve,  atnd  gives  his  Old  Moc^  m  -■ 
<^UDiceo'  sneakin'  into  his  neighbours'  fields  o'  nights  if  tik» 
find  an  open  gate,  or  a  |>air  of  bars  down,  to  get  a  treat -^f 
<dover  now  and  then.  O  dear,  if  you  was  to  get  up  aiH^f 
of  a  mornin*,  afore  the  dew  was  off  the  ground,  and  mow  thMt 
are  field  with  a  razor,  and  rake  it  with  a  fine-tooth  comb,  you 
wouldn't  get  stuff  enough  to  keep  one  grasshopper  through^ 
tiia  winter,  if  you  was  to  be  hang'd  for  it.  ^Spose  we  driw 
i^  to  the  door  to  light  a  cigar;  if  Nick  Bradsliaw  is  to  homtr 
I  should  like  to  have  a  little  chat  with  him.  It's  worth  know<>^ 
ittg  how  he  can  farm  with  so  little  labour ;  for  any  thing  thaf 
saves  labour  in  this  country,  where  help  is  so  plaguy  d^ur,  is 
wnarth  larnin',  you  may  depend.     . 

Observing  us  pause  and  point  towards  his  domain,  Nicho-' 
las  lifted  off  the  door  and  laid  it  on  its  side,  and,  emeii^;ing 
from  his  den  of  dirt  and  smoke,  stood  awhile  recoii^noitering^ 
01.  He  was  a  tall,  welMmilt,  athtetic4ooking  man,  possessed 
of  great  personal  strength  and  surprising  activity!  but  looked 
like  a  good-natured,  careless  fcdlow,  who  loved  talking  and 
smoking  better  than  work,  and  preferred  the  pl^iisures  m  the 
tap-room  to  the  labours  of  the  field.  He  thinks  wp  want  his 
vote,  said  the  Clockmaker.  He's  locking  as  big  as  all  Kttitdoorf  v 
BOW,  and  waitia*  Ibr  m  to  oont  to  Aim.    Ha  vooidb^ 


t 


.' 


.. 


«: 


to  otil  the  ktnr  his  ijooani  gist  at  thu  pment  time. 
Il%  uidepeMleiil  dliv  wkh  hkn^  I  cafeolate ;  |Mi|>|yyolookin'  erit> 
ntir,  too*  am*!  he*  wuii  that  are  4itde,  riiort,  black  j^  in  Ua 
SWQthi  Hiefact  is,  aquuNB,  the  momeot  a  man  taket  to  a  pipe 
be  becomea  a  phtlonier  ;--4t'8  the  poor  man's'friend ;  it  ealms 
HMmiad,  soothes  the  temper,  and  makes  a  man  patioit  mider 
feronhlek  It  has  made  more  good  men,  flood  husbands^  kind 
flnaaters,  indulgent  fathers,  and  honest  fellers,  than  any  other 
hiessed  thing  in  this  univarsal  world.  The  Indj^ans  always 
buried  a  pipe  and  ar  skin  of  tobacco  with  their  folks,  in  cas9 
Mnokin*  should  be  the  fashion  in  the  next  world,  that  they 
NiughfetiH  ^  unprovided.  Gist  look  at  him :  his  hat  has  got 
no  erown  in  it,  and  the  rim  hangs  loose  by  the  side,  like  the 
bale  of  a  bucket.  His  trousers  and  jacket  are  all  flying  in 
tatters  of  difierent  o(^our*d  patches.  He  has  one  old  ahpe  on 
«oe  fi)ot,  and  an  ontanned  mocasin  on  t'other.  He  ain*t  had 
his.  beard  cut  since  last  sheep-sheerin*,  and  he  looks  as  BYm§gy 
aaa  yearlin'  colt.  And  yet  you  see  the  critter  has  a  rakuh 
kek  too.  That  are  old  hat  is  cocked  on  one  side  quite  know- 
in*,  he  has  both  hands  in  his'  trousers  pockets,  as  if  he  bad 
ifDni^hin*  worth  feelin*  there,  while  one  eye,  diot-to  on  ae* 
ooimt  of  the  smoke,  and  the  other  standin'  (nit  of  the  way  oi 
h  as  ior  as  it  can,  makes  him  look  like  a  lut  of  a  wag.  A 
man  "that  didn't  smoke,  couldn't  do  that  now,  squire.  You 
BMiy  ialk  about  fortitude,  and  patience,  and  Christian  rengna* 
tion,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing,  till  you're  tired ;  Pye  seen  it 
and  heerd  tell  of  it  too,  but  I  never  knew  an  instance  yet, 
whore  it  didn't  come  a  little  grun-heavy  or  sour  oi}t  'of  the 
oven.^  Philosophy  is  like  most  other  guests  Fve  seed,  it  likes 
to  visit  them  as  keeps  ^ood  tables,  and  though  it  has  some 
poor  acquaintances,  it  ain't  more  nor  half  pleased  to  be  seen 

waUtin'  lock  and  lock  with  'enk    But  smokin' -Here  he 

comes,  tho',  I  swan ;  he  knows  Old  Clay,  I  reckon :  he  sees 
it  ain't  the  candidate  chap. 

This  discovery  dispelled  the  important  airs  of  Nicholas, 
and  takiag  the  pipe  out  of  his  mouth,  he  retreated  a  pace  or 
two,  and  took  a  running  leap  of  ten  or  twelve  feet  across  a 
rtagnant  pool  of  green  water  that  graced  his  lawn,  and  served 
the  doum  purpose  Off  rearing  eoslings  and  breeding  mus- 
quitoea,  and  by  repeating  these  feats  of  agiKty  on  the  grass 
avreml  thnea,  (as  if  to  keep  himself  in  practice,)  was  by  the 
«id«  of  tte  WMon  in  a  few  minutes. 

'Uotmn\m*  BnuhdHtw,  said  the  Clookmoker;  how^a  aU 


m 


TBB  0LCX3KMAKBR. 


I/- 


^|o  home  to-day  t     Reasonable  wellt  I  gtre  you  dlaDk•^-;» 
';'-i0oah  ^u  alight?    Tluaik  you,  I  oat  «topt  to  light  a  olgar."--^ 
I*Il  bni^  you  a  bit  o*  fire,  said  Nick,  in  the  twinklin^^f  Ml 
ejre;  nmA  bounding  off  to  the  house  with  simitar  gigantic 
strides,  he  was  out  of  sight  in  a  moment.     Happy,  ffood- 
iNittMred  citizen,  that  you  see,  squire,  said  Mr.  Slick,  he  hmnl't 
been  fool  enough  to  stiffen  himself  by  hard  work  neither;  for 
V  you  see  he  is  as  supple  as  an  eel.    The  critter  can  junip  Hke 
^catamount,  and  run  like  a  deer;  he'd  catch  a  fox  ainost. 
^t  chap.  * 

■  Presently  out  bounded  Nick  in  the  same  antelope  style,; 
waving  o^er  his  head  a  lighted  brand  of  three  or  four  feet 
IcMig.  Here  it  is,  said  he,  but  you  roust  be  quick,  fot  this  sdlt 
ffre^  wood  won*t  hold  fire  in  no  time — it  goes  right  out  it^s.^ 
Hke  my  old  house  there,  and  that's  so  rotten  it  won't  hdd  « ^ 
nail  now ;  after  you  drive  one  in  you  can  pull  it  out  with  your 
finger.  How  are  jtm  off  for  tobacoo  1  said  Mr.  Slick.  Grand, 
sara  he,  got  half  a  fig  left  yet.  Get  it  for  you  in  a  minit,  and 
the  old  lady's  pipe  too,  and  without  waiting  for  a  reply,  was 
curvetting  again  off  to  the  house.  That  goney,  said  the 
Clockmaker,  is  like  a  gun  that  soes  off  at  half  cock-^there*a 
no  doin'  nothin'  with  him.  I  didn't  want  hifii  backey,  I  only 
wanted  an  excuse  to  give  him  some ;  but  it's  a  strange  thing 
tiiat,  squire,  but  it's  as  sure  as  rates,  the  pftor  ure  every  where 
more  liberal^  more  ohl%g%n\  and  more  hospitable^  aecordin^ 
to  their  meanst  than  the  rich  are :  they  beat  them  all  hollar,-^ 
it's  a  fact,  I  assure  you. 

When  he  returned,  Mr.  Slick  told  him  that  he  was  so  8i»ry, 
thiat  he  was  out  of  hearing  before  he  could  stop  him ;  that  he 
didn't  require  any  himself,  but  was  going  to  ofl^r  him  a  fig  of 
first  chop  genuine  stuff  he  had.  Thank  you,  said  he,  aa  Im 
took  it,  and  put  it  to  his  nose ; — it  has  the  right  flavour  tha^<«^ 
rather  weak  for  me,  tho'.  I'm  thinking  it  'II  gist  suit  the  old 
lady.  She  smokes  a  good  deal  now  for  the  cramp  in  her  leg. 
She's  troubled  with  the  cramp  sometimes,  away  down  somf 
#here  about  the  calf,  and  smokin',  they  say,  is  good  ^  h. 

He  then  too^  the  tobacco  very  scientifically  between  the[ 
'forefinger  and  thumb  of  his  left  hand,  and  cut  it  into  smItR 
shreds  that  foil  into  the*  palm.  -  Then  holding  both  knife  add 
fig  between  his  teeth,  he  rolled,  untwisted,  and  pulverised  the 
cut  tobacco  by  rubbing  and  grinding  it  between  his  two  faandsi 
and  refilled  and  lighted  his  pipe,  and  pronouncing  the  tobaocMr 
a  prime  article,  Ip^ted  the  very  piottne  of  happmesa.    How'f 


"f^.  *    xf 


BikAbBIIA^. 


ii 


„.;■''(; 


enpt  IB  & gmenl  w^y  tfaia  yearl  raid  Ifr.  IKick.  Well,  thoy 
•p  ioit  about  iniddlia%  mid  be ;  the  aeasocw  Wn*t  been  very 
good  lately,  aad  womehow  the  hmd  d<»i't  bear  m  it  used  to 
wiieB  I  was  a  boy ;  bat  I'm  in  great  Boiwt  times  tLmgo^*  to 
be  b^r  now.  They  ray  things  lode  brighter ;  tfeel  a  good 
dml  t^eowaged  myaelf.  They  tell  me  the  govertior'a  agoin* 
to  ai^point  a  new  council ;  I  guess,  they'll  do  sun'thin*  for  the 
.country.  Ah,  said  the  Clockmaker,  that  indeed,  that  woukj 
be  sun'thin'  Uke, — it  would  make  times  quite  brisk  i^^in-^ 
fiurnaers  oould  .afibrd  to  live  then.  It  would  raira  markets 
ccmsiderable.  So  I  see  in  the  papers,  said  Nick :  the  fact  o* 
tbe  matter  is  the  assemblymen  must  do  sun'thin'  for  the  coun- 
tiy,  or  it  will  ^  to  the  d(^,  that's  sartoin.  They  tell  me  too 
thiU  tibe  counral  doors  are  to  be  q)ened,  so  that  we  can  hear 
tb^  debates; — that  will  be  a  sreat  privilege,  w<m't  it  7  Very, 
said  the  Clockmaker;  it  will  nelp  the  formers  amazin'ly  that; 
I  should  count  that  a  great  matt^ :  they  must  be  worth  hearin*, 
them  counselbrs.  It's  quite  a  treat  to  hear  the  members  in 
the  house,  particularly  when  they  talk  about  bankin',  curren- 
cy, CQDstitutionf  bounties,  and  such  touch  knotty  things  ;— 
dhey  go  so  deep  into  these  matters,  and  know  so  much  about 
'em,  it's  quite  edifyin'.  I've  lamt  more  new  things,  and  more 
things  I  niver  knew -afore,  in  half  an  hour  in  the  assembly, 
thfttt  over  I  heerd  afore  in  my  life,  and  I  expect  t'other  houw 
will  be  quite  as  wira.  Well,  I'm  glad  to  hear  you  ray  so, 
•aid  Nicholas ;  I  feel  tinndkaw  fuUe  eneowraged  myeelf:  if 
we  had;a  bounty  of  about  a  shilling  a  bushel  for  raisin'  pota- 
toes, two-'and'siz>(}ence  a  bushel  for  wheat,  and  fifteen  pence 
for  oats,  I  think  a  body  m^lU  have  a  chance  to  make  out  to 
scratch  along  to  live  h«re  i  and  I'm  told  when  the  oounc^ 
doors  are  opened,  we  shall  actually  get  them.  I  must  ray,  / 
feel  fuUe  encouraged  myeelf.  But  sti^,  said  he,  lading  his 
hand  on  Mr.  SUck,  do  you  see  that  are  varmint  alookin'  arter 
the  old  lady's  chickins  over  there  by  the  bam  1  I  had  a  crack 
at  him  yeiri^ay,  but  he  was  too  for  off—wait  abit;  and. he 
•camperdl  off  to  die  house,  brought  out  his  gun,  which  had 
b^  previously  loaded,  and  throwring  himself  on  all  fours, 
proceeded  towards  the  barn  as  rapidly  as  a  quadruped.  Stop, 
stc^,  daddy,  raid  a  little  halk-naked  imp  of  a  boy,  stq>  till  I 
g(^.imr  oock'shy.  Well,  bear  a  hand  then,  said  he,  or  he'll  ^ 
be  off:  I  wont  widt  aminit. 

Tho  boy  darted  into  the  house,  and  returned  in  an  instant 
with  a  short  rmind  hard  wood  club  in  his  iMuid,  and  throwing 


* 


01k  iBmmjommMMMn. 

'himself  in  the  mme  jMNtture,  thruit  his  head  umier  the  il^fle 
^4»r  liis  father*8  ooiU,  and  crawled  after  biro,  faetweMi  hia  1m, 
:.ihe  Iw^  t^ppeanng  like  one  long  monstroua  r^ittle.  ll» 
hawk,  ob^OTving  tUa  ttDuaual  motion,  rose  highttr-nito^thel^, 
■,9M  be  slowly  auled  round  the  building;  but  Niehdto^  ant 
Uking  to  be  balk^'of  his  shot,  fired  at  a  vaortufei  and  i^rte- 
^iptely  broke  his  wing.  St(^,  daddy,  said  the  bey,  veoeveri^g 
his  feet,  stop,  daddy,  it's  m^  turn  now;  and  foUowing^^ie 
bird,  tlMit  flew  with  inconceivable  rapidity,  like  an  oatrich, ' 
half  running,  half  flying,  threw  his  cock-shy  at  bim  widb  un- 
erring aim,  and  killed  him.^  Ain't  he  a  whopper,  cbddy  7  aidd 
he.  See !  and  he  stretched  out  his  wings  to  (heir  liiU  «cteBt 
r— he's  a  sneezer,  ain't  he  ?  I'll  show  him  to  manuny,  I  gueia^ 
■.and  off  he  ran  to  the  house  to  ex^Ubit  his  pi!ae*-*~llllftfce  m. 
smart  man  that,  siud  Nick,  regarding  bis  boy,  as  he  dotiM 
off  the  bird,  with  looks  of  entire  satisfaction :  make  a  doaaid- 
erable  of  a  smart  man  that,  if  the  assembly  men  woirid  oaW 
give^  us  a  chance ;  but  Ifet^  quite  encouraged  neti».  I  thkftk 
we  shall  have  a  good  brood  of  chickens  this  yrar,  now  tteU 
thiwrin'  rascal  has  ^ot  his  flint  fixt ;  and  if  them  three  regi« 
menta  come  to  Hahfax^  that's  talked  of  this  winter,  jpoidtry 
will  fetch  a'most  a  grand  price,  that's  sartain.  It  appeart'to 
me  there's  a  hawk,  or  a  wild  cat,  or  a  fox,  or  a  lawyer,  <nr  a 
oenstable,  or  a  somethin'  or  another  fot  everlastin'Iy  a  bodk- 
enn' of  a  poor  man ;  but  I  feel  ftiite  encouy^ed  now. 

r  never  seed  that  critter  yet,  laid  the  Clockmaker,  that  he 
dif^i't  say  he  felt  **  quite  encouraged ;"  he's  always  lookia*  ^ 
the  Assembly  to  do  great  things  for  him j  and  every  year  feels 
^*  quite  encouraged"  that  they  will  do  sun'thin'  at  the  n«xt 
session  that  will  make  his  fortin.  I  wonder  if  fdka  will  «v«r 
larn  that  politics  are  the  seed  mentioned  in  Scriptnr'  that  fell 
%  the  road'side,  and  the  fowls  came  and  pick'd  them  «p. 
They  don't  beneifit  the  farmer,  but  they  feed  than  himgry 
birds,-— the  party  leaders..  % 

The  bane  of  Uiis  country,  squire,  and  indeed  of  at^Anoeviea, 
i»  bavin'  too  much  land  ,*  they  run  over  more  ground  than  they 
c<in  cultivate,  and  crop  the  land  so  severely  that  they  run-it 
out.  A  very  large  portion  of  land  in  America  ha»  heea  fwn 
vUt  by  repeated  grain  crops,  and  when  y mi  add  that  lo  tend 
naterally  too  poor  to  bear  grain,  or  too  broken  f(»  6ulti9iti^ 
you  will  find  this  great  country  in  a  fair  way  to  benfeined*  '  J 

The  State  of  Varmont  has  nothm'  like  t^taipoth  M^aiei 
ito  have,  and  a  j^guy  sight  of  tte  yocn^  fo^  co«w  (km 


ilMlMfh 

le.  The 
My«  thank, 
io!«%  aet 
mdihrtii- 
eoovering 
>win9'the 
n  ortrich,' 
iwithuH- 

uU  rateat 

*— IlahsdL 
heo«rried 
yaoMiud- 
rould  oohr 
^    Ithuik 
VDOw  that 
three  regi' 
it  J  yanUty 
lappiart'lO 
nryer,  or  a 
nyahodk- 
MP.  ■       ''■; 
BT,  tha^^ 
kK>kia*ftv 
year  fteki 
t  the  owtt 
B  will  war 
r'  that  fhH 
them  ap. 
m 


America, 
tfaaatbev 
they  ran  It 
faeea  raa 
lat  lottfad 
iultifati«a, 

I  il  aaed 
IS  down  la 


m 

,|[^)i{w4e  hhiaoajat  htlpt*  ThatwoOatoUaiaan^VarnBia 
pm  cafarad  with  placai  that  hava  baen  given  up  at  mioed, 
flMl  nuuiy  other  SlatMt  Wa  hav'o't  the  aarpluB  of  wheat  and 
gvaio,  we4Med  to  hava  hi,  the  C/'.Bilad  filatee,  and  it  never  will 
M  99  ffleaty  agin.  That's  the  laanon  you  hear  of  folks  elear- 
^Mandtiaakia'a  ihnn»and  tallin' off  agin  and  goin*  farther 
into  the  bueb*  TbeyVa  axhautted  it,  and  find  it'eatier  to 
4}laar  Mw  lands  than  to  rttlort  the  old.  « 

vA  groat  d«al  of  NovaSeotia  is  run  oat,  and  if  it  war'n*t 
^  tlk»  lime,  marth'inud,  sea-wasd,  sah-sand,  and  what  not, 
they'va  got  here  ia  such  quafliitles,  there'd  be  no  cure  for  it. 
}t  tajltes- good  ikrmia'  to  Keep  an  upland  location  in  order, 
ttaU  you,  and  make  it  sustain  itself.  It  takes  more  to  fetch 
a  iariD^  to  that's  had  the  gisseard  taken  out  of  it,  than  it's 
worth/  It  actitly  Arightsns  ma.  when  I  think  your  agriculture 
inlbritain  is  progresslaS  sod  the  land  better  tilled  every  day, 
wl^ie  thousands  upon  thousands  of  acres  with  us,  are  turned 
into  barrens.  No  traVsllsr  as  I'va  seed  has  noticed  this^  and 
Qux  ^li(8  are  not  aware  of  it  thamselves  to  the  extent  of  the 
ovU.  S<iuir«,.you  and  I  won't  live  to  see  it,  but  if  this  awftil 
loblttn*  of  posterity  goes  on  Tor  another  oentury  as  it  has  pre^ 
mtmi&vt  the  last  hundred  years»  we'll  be  a  nation  of  paupers. 
Yefy  little  land  in  Amerlea,  even  of  the  best,  will  carry  more 
than^one  crop  of  wheat  arter  it's  elear'd  afore  it  wants  manure; 
tmd  where  it's  elear'd  so  fiist,  where's  the  manure  to  come 
(rom-l—it  puzzles  am  (and  I  won't  turn  my  back  on  any  man 
in  the  fiunnin'  line)— the  Lord  knows,  &it  I  don*t ;  but  if  there*8 
a  thing  that  scares  me,  it's  this. 

Hulk) !  hullo  I— said  a  voiee  behind  us,  and  when  we  turned 
to  look  from  whenoa  it  eamt,  we  saw  Nicholas  running  and 
leaping  over  the  fences  of  his  neighbours  Hke  a  greyhound. 
SMop  a  minit,  said  he,  I  want  to  speak  to  you.  I  feel  quite 
atcQuraged  since  I  seen  you  (  there's  one  auestion  I  forgot  to 
ask  you,  Mr.  Slick,  for  I  should  like  ama%in*ly  to  have  your 
(»inion.  Who  do  you  go  A»r  t  I  go  for  the  Squire,  said  he : 
^%  agmn'  for  to  go  round  the  sea*eoast  with  him.  I  don*t 
iumik  that  at  all,  said  he  (—who  do  you  go  for  in  the  election  t 
There's  to  be  a  poll  a  Monday  to  Kentville;  and  Aylesford 
a«iQaflperaus  are  upi  who  do  you  go  for?  I  don't  go  for 
either  of  'em ;  I  wouldn't  give  a  ehaw  of  tobakey  for  both  on 
emtirhat  is  it  to  ma  who  goes?  Well,  t  donH  suppose  it  is, 
hml^s  a  great  matter  to  us  >  who  would  you  advise  me  to  vote 
it  I  Who  is  a|(oia'  for  to  do  the  most  good  for  you  ?   Ayles- 


:f 


:\:.      ; 


■      > 


iofd.  Who  pvoroiaei  yoa^he  mottt  Avletibrd.  VoCsibr 
t*otber  ooe  then,  for  I  aevtr  teed  or  heera  tell  of  a  feHnr  yeti 
that  was  very  ready  with  his  promiaet,  that  warn*!  quite  aa 
;.ieady  to  brcAk  them,  when  It  suited  his  parMae;  and  if 
Ayleaford  canies  ahotheria'  you,  oall  our  littk  Nidt  with  Mi 
*cock<shy,*'  and  let  him  take  a  shot  at  him.  Ajiijr  eritlor 
that  finds  out. that  all  the  world  are  rogues,  and  tells  <^  the 
great  things  that  he*s  agoin'  for  to  do,  giBerally  overlooks  tlM 
big^Bst  rogue  of  all,  and  that's  himself.  Oh  I  Chtspereaux  for 
ever  I  he's  tibe  man  for  your  money,  and  no  mistake.  Well, 
.said  Nicholas,  I  believe  you're  half  right.  Ayleaford  £d 
promise  a  shillin'  a  bushel  bounty  on  potatoes  tho*,.Uit  I  be- 
lieve he  lied  arter  all.  I'll  take  your  advice,— //Mlfpite 
p»eouraged  now.  If  you'd  like  a  ooal  to  ligfaf  your  cigar W, 
said  he,  I'll  step  in  here  and  get  you  one.  Thank*  you,  aud 
Mr.  Slick ;  I  have  no  occasion  for  aub  gist  now.  Wi^,  I 
believe  I'll  drop  in  and  light  a  pipe  there  myself  tlm,  aay* 
Jlipw.    Good-b'^e— /yee2  finle  eneovnged  now, 

'  Oh  dear !  said  the  clockmaker,  what  a  good-natered,  good- 
for-notjEin'  simple  toad  that  is.  I  suppose  when  the  sheriff 
takes  the  vote  of  such  critters,  he  flatters  himlself  he  tsites 
the  sense  of  the  county.  What  a  difference  atween  him  and 
Borton  1  The  one  is  a  lazy,  idle  critter,  wanderin*  about 
talkin'  politics,  or  snarin'  rabbits,  catchin'  eels,  or  sho^dn* 
hawks,  and  neglectin'  his  work,  and  a  pretty  kettle  of  fish 
he's  made  of  it.  The  other,  a  careful,  steady •goin',  indn»» 
trious  man,  that  leaves  politics  to  them  as  likes  dabblin'  in 
troubled  waters,  and  attends  steadily  to  his  business,  and  lie'a 
a  credit  to  his^ountry. 

Yes,  too  much  land  is  the  ruin  of  us  all  this  afide  o*  Iho 
water.  Afore  I  went  tb  England  I  used  to  think  that  the  on- 
equal  divisions  of  property  there,  and  the  system  of  landlord 
and  tenant,'  was  a  curse  to  the  country,  and  that  there  waa 
more  dignity  and  freedom  to  the  individual,  and  more  benefit 
to  the  nation,  for  every  man  to  own  the  land  he  ctldtivated,  as 
with  us.  But  I've  changed  my  mind ;  I  see  it's  the  cause  of 
the  high  state  of  cultivation  in  Englaml,  and  the  prosperity 
of  its  agjTJiculture.  If  the  great  men  had  the  land  in  th«r 
own  hands  there,  every  now  and  then  an  improvident  one 
Would  skin  the  soil,  and  run  it  out;  bein'  let  to  others  he 
can't  do  it  himself,  and  he  takes  plaffuy  ffood  care  by  his  leim 
bis  tenant  shan't  do  it  neither.    Weil  then,  tliere  he  is,  witli 


num  BAADSHAW. 


m 


i.  Voto'ibr 
'  K  feNnr  ysli 
ira*C  quite  as 
poie;  and  If 
Mwith  h^ 
Anrf  ^tler 
1  tellt  of  the 
sverloekt  (he 
isperaeuxfor 
iteke.  Well, 
jletfofd  did 
hoVhut  I  be- 

our  cigwr  vYt 
ink*  you,  eud 
»w.  Wen,  I 
)lf  then,  aay^ 

*    - 

tttered,  gopd- 
D  the  sheriff 
self  he  tekei 
^een  him  end 
tideriii^  ahout 
I,  or  aho^' 
kettle  of  fish 
•gom*,  indoa- 
»  dabblia'  in 
less,  and  he*af 

is  aiide  o'ihe 

I  that  the  on- 

(1  of  landlord 

lat  there  waa 

more  benefit 

cultivated,  aa 

the  eause  of 

le  proisperitpr 

land  in  their 

>rovideot  ooe 

to  others  he 

B  by  his  lease 

re  he  IB,  with 


his  capital  to  make  great  improvements,  substatftial  repairs, 
and  so  on,  and  thiags  are  pushed  up  to  perfection. 

In  NoVa  Scotia  there  are  hundreds  and  thousands  that 
would  be  better  off  as  tenants,  if  they  would  but  only  think 
so.  When  a  chap  spends  all  his  money  in  buying  lands,  and 
mortgages  them  to  pay  the  rest  of  the  price,  he  ain*t  able  to 
stock  his  farm,  and  work  it  properly ;  and  he  labours  like  a 
nigger  all  his  life,  and  dies  poor  at  last,  while  the  land  gets 
run  out  in  his  hands,  and  is  no  good  for  ever  afler.  Now  if 
he  was  to  hire  the  farm,  the  money  that  he  paid  for  the  pur- 
chase  would  stock  it  complete,  enable  him  to  hire  labour,—- to 
wait  for  markets,— to  buy  up  cattle  cheap,  and  to  sell  them  to 
advantage.  He*d  make  money  hand  over  hand,  while  he'd 
throw  the  cost  of  all  repairs  and  improvements  on  the  owner. 
But  you  might  talk  till  you  were  ffrey-headed,  and  you 
wouldn't  persuade  folks  of  that  in  this  country.  The  glo- 
rious privilege  of  having  a  vote,  to  give  to  some  goney  of  a 
member,  carries  the  day.  Well  may  they  call  it  a  deac  privi- 
lege that,  for  it  keeps  them  poor  to  their  dyin'  day.  No, 
aquire,  your  system  of  landlord  and  tenant  is  the  best  for  the 
farmer,  and  the  best  for  the  nation.  There  neVer  can  be  a 
high  state  of  general  cultivation  without  it.  Agriculture  wants 
the  labour  of  the  farmer  and  the  money  of  the  capitalist,— 
both  must  go  hand  in  hand.  When  it  is  left  to  the  farmer 
alone,  it  must  dwindle  for  want  of  means — and  the  country 
must  dwindle  too.  A  nation,  even  if  it  is  as  big  as  our  great 
one,  if  it  has  no  general  system  of  landlord  and  tenant 
adopted  in  it,  must  run  out.  We  are  undergoin'  that  process 
jow.  I'm  most  plaguy  afeerd  we  shall  run  out ;  that's  a  fact. 
A  country  is  but  a  large  estate  at  best  ;-^— and  if  it  is  badly 
tilled  and  hard  cropped,  it  must,  in  the  eend,  present  the  me- 
lancholy spectacle  of  a  great  exhausted  farm.  That's  qviU 
encouraging  now,  as  Nick  Bradshaw  says, — ain't  it?  r 


i: 


a 


TUK   CLOOKMAKUU 


CHAPTER  V. 

TRAVELLING  IN  AMERICA. 

Did  you  ever  drink  any  Thames  water,  squire  7  said  the 
Clockmaker ;  because  it  is  onc|  of  the  greatest  nateral  curiosi- 
ties in  the  <world.  Wlien  I  returned  from  Poland,  in  the  hair 
■pekelation,  I  sailed  from  London,  and  we  had  Thames  water 
on  board.     Says  I  to  the  captain,  says  I,  I  guess  you  want  to 

eyson  us,*'don*t  >you,  with  that  are  nasty,  dirty,  horrid  stuff? 
ow  can  you  think  o*  takin'  such  water  as  that  1  Why,  says 
he,  Mr.  Slick,  it  does  make  the  best  water  ia  the  warlch-- 
that*s  a  fact ;  yes,  and  the  best  porter  too ;  it  farments,  works 
ofT  the  scum,  clarifies  itself,  and  beats  all  natur* ; — and  yet 
look  at  all  them  are  sewers,  and  drains,  and  dye  stuffs,  aad 
factory-wash,  and  onmentionables  that  are  poured  into  it ;— 4t 
beats  the  bugs,  donH  it  ?  Well  squire,  our  great  country  v 
like  that  are  Thames  water, — it  does  receive  the  outpourin'si 
of  the    world, — homocides    and    regicides, — jail-birds    and 

Elley-birds, — poor-house  chaps  and  workhouse  chaps, — re- 
Is,  infidels,  and  forgers, — rogues  of  all  sorts,  sizes,  and 
degrees, — ^but  it  farments,  you  see,  and  works  clear;  and 
what  almost  a  beautiful  clear  stream  o*  democracy  it  does 
make,— don't  it  ?  Not  hot  enough  for  fog,  nor  cold  enough 
for  ice,  nor  limey  enough  to  fur  up  the  bylers,  nor  too  hard  to 
wash  clean,  nor  raw  enough  to  chop  the  skin, — ^but  gist  the 
thing ;  that's  a  fact.  I  wish  to  gracious  you'd  come  and  see 
for  yourself.  Fd  go  with  you  and  cost  you  nothin*.  Pd  take 
a  prospectus  of  a  new  work  and  get  subscribers  ;  take  a  pat- 
tern book  of  the  Lowell  factories  for  orders;  and  spekilate  a 
little  by  the  way,  so  as  to  clear  my  shot  wherever  we  went. 

You  must  see  for  yourself, — you  can't  lam  nothin'  from 
books.  I  have  read  all  the  travels  in  America,  and  there 
ain't  one  that's  worth  a  cent.  They  don't  understand  us. 
They  remitid  me  of  a  lawyer  examinin'  of  a  witness ;  he  don't 
want  either  the  truth,  the  whole  truth,  or  nothin*  but  the  truth, 
out  he  wants  to  pick  out  of  him  gist  so  much  as  will  prove 
his  case,  d'ye  see,  and  would  like  him  to  keep  dark  about  the 
rest ;  puts  artful  questions  to  him  on  purpose  to  get  an  answer 
to  suit  him ;  stops  him  when  he  talks  too  fast,  leads  him  when 


TRAVSLLIHO  IN   AMBllIOA.  W 

he  goes  too  slow,  praiaes  his  own  witnesses  sky  high",  and 
abuses  the  other  side  for  Ivin*,  equivocatin*,  parjured  villains. 
That's  gist  the  case  with  English  travellers ;  instead  of  lookin* 
all  round  and  seein*  into  things  first,  and  then  comin*  to  an 
opinion,  they  make  up  their  minds  afore  they  come,  and  then 
look  Sor  facts  to  support  their  views.  First  comes  a  great 
high  tory,  and  a  republic  smells  so  bad  in  his  nostrils,  he's 
got  his  nose  curl'd  up  like  a  pug-nose  dog  all  thro'  his  jour- 
ney. He  sees  no  established  church,  and  he  swears  there's 
no  religion ;  and  he  sees  no  livery  helps,  and  he  says  it's  all 
vulgar ;  and  if  he  sees  a  citizen  spit,  he  jumps  a  one  side  as 
scared  as  if  it  wor  a  rifle  agoin'  off.  Then  comes  a  radical, 
(and  them  English  radicals  are  cantankerous-lookin'  critters 
—that's  a  fact,— as  sour  as  vinegar,  aad  lookin'  as  cross  and 
as  hungry  as  a  bear  gist  starved  out  in  the  spring,)  and  fAcy 
say  we  have  the  slavery  of  opinion  here ;  that  our  preachers 
want  moral  courage,  and  that  our  great  cities  are  cursed  with 
the  aristocracy  of  wealth.  There  is  no  pleasin'  either  on  'em. 
'  Then  come  what  minister  used  to  call  the  Optimists,  a  set  of 
folks,  who  talk  you  deef  about  the  perfectibility  of  human 
natur' ;  that  men,  likeK»terpiIlars,  will  all  turn  into  beautiful 
-critters  with  wings  like  butterflies, — a  sort  of  grub  angels;-— 
that  our  great  nation  is  a  paradise,  and  our  folks  ugettin'  out 
o'  the  chrysoUs  state  into  somethin'  divine. 

I  seldom  or  never  talk  to  none  o'  them,  unless  it  be  to  bam 
'em.  They  think  they  know  every  thing,  and  all  they  got  to 
do  is,  to  up  Hudson  like  a  shot,  into  the  lakes  full  split,  oflf  to 
Mississippi  and  down  to-New  Orleans  full  chisel,  back  to  New 
Vork  and  up  Killock,  and  home  in  a  liner,  and  write  a  book. 
They  have  a  wh6le  stock  of  notes.  Spittin' — gougin',— 
lynchin',-^burnin'  alive, — steam-boats  blowed  up, — snags,—- 
slavery, — stealin' — Texas, — state  prisons, — men  talk  slow, — 
women  talk  loud, — both  walk  fast,— chat  in  steam-boats  and 
stage-coaches, — anecdotes,  and  so  on.  Then  ou^  comes  a 
book.  If  its  a  tory  writes  it,  then  the  tory  papers  say  it's  the 
best  pictur'  they  have'seen; — lively,  interestin',  intelligent. 
If  a  radical,  then  radical  papers  say  it  is  a  very  philosophical 
work,  (whenever  a  feller  gets  over  his  head  in  it,  and  cruel 
unintelligible,  he's  deep  in  philosophy,  that  chap,)  statesman- 
like view,  able  work,  throws  great  light  on  the  politics  of  the 
day.  I  wouldn't  give  a  chaw  of  tobackey  for  the  books  of  all 
of 'em  tied  up  and  put  into  a  meal-bag  together. 

Our  folks  sarve  'em  as  the  Indgians  used  to  sarve  the  gulls 


TRB  OLOCKMAKVR. 


'' 


■  , 


ddwn  to  8qu«iAttif)fi  !n  old  piljonrim  times.  Tfw  t^nnfn*  eritteri 
used  to  noake  a  sort  o*  fisn  flakes,  and  catch  herrin*  and  torn 
cods,  and  such  sort  o'  fish,  and  put  *em  on  the  flakes,  and  then 
crawl  onder  themselves,  and  as  soon  as  the  gulls  lighted  to 
cat  the  fish,  catch  hold  o*  their  legs  and  pull  'em  thro*.  Arter 
that,  whenever  a  feller  was  made  a  fool  on  and  took  in,  they 
used  to  say  he  was  gulled.  Well,  if  our  folks  don't  gull  them 
British  travellers,  it's  a  pity.  They  do  make  proper  fbols  on 
*em ;  that's  a  fact. 

Year  afore  last,  I  met  an  English  gall  a  travellin*  in  a 
steam'boat ;  she  had  a  French  name  that  I  can't  recollect,  tho* 
I  got  it  on  the  tip  o'  my  tongue  too  :  you  know  who  I  mean- 
she  wrote  books  on  economy, — not  domestic  economy,  as 
galls  ought,  but  on  ^litical  economy,  as  galls  oughtent,  fbr 
they  don't  know  nothin'  about  it.  She  had  a  trumpet  in  her 
hand, — thinks  I,  who  on  airth  is  she  agoin  to  hail,  or  is  she 
agoin'  to  try  echoes  on  the  river  7  I  watched  her  for  some 
time,  and  I  found  it  was  an  ear  trumpet. 

Well,  well,  says  I,  that's  onlike  most  Enclish  travellers  any 
tray,  for  in  a  giniral  way  they  wear  magnifying  glasses,  and 
do  enlarge  things  so,  a  body  don't  know  'em  agin  when  he 
sees  'em.  Now,  this  gall  won't  hear  one  half  that's  said,  and 
will  get  that  half  wrone,  and  so  it  turned  out.  Says  she  to 
me,  Beautiful  country  this  Mr.  Slick ;  says  she,  I'm  transported. 
Transported,  said  I,  why,  what  onder  the  sun  did  you  do  to 
home  to  get  transported? — but  she  larfeJ  right  out  like  anv 
'^ng,'  delighted,  I  mean,  said  she,  it's  so  beautiful.  It  is 
splendid,  said  I,  no  doubt;  there  ain't  the  beat  of  it  to  be  found 
any  M'here.  Oh !  said  she,  what  views,  what  scenery,  what 
woods,  what  a  river  I  how  I  should  like  to  soar  away  up  with 
that  are  eagle  into  the  blue  sky,  and  see  all  its  beauties  spread 
out  afore  me  like  a  map  !  How  grand — every  thing  is  on  a 
grand  scale  I  Have  you  seen  the  Kentuckians  ?  said  I.  Not 
yet,  said  she.  Stop  then,  said  I,  till  you  see  M«n.  .  They  art 
on  a  scale  that  will  please  you,  I  guess ;  whopping  bijg  fellows 
them,  I  tell  you ;  half  horse,  half  alligator,  with  a  touch  of 
the  airthquake.  I  wasn't  a  talking  of  the  men,  said  she,  'tis 
thr^  beauties  of  natur'  I  was  admiring.  Well,  said  I,  once  on 
a  time  I  used  to  admire  the.  beauties  of  natur*  too,  but  I  got 
cured  of  that.  Sit  down  on  this  bench,  said  she,  arid  tell  me 
how  it  was ; — ^these  kind  o'  anecdotes  serve  to  illustrate  the 
"  moral  of  feelin'."  Thinks  I,  this  is  philosophy  now,  "moral 
of  feelin*  1**    Well*  if  the  musquitoes  don't  illustrate  TOur 


TRAVBUJHO   IN    AMCIUCA. 


*  eritteff 
and  torn 
and  then 
ghted  to 
>\  Arter 
:  in, they 
|tiU  them 
'  fbols  OB 

llin*  in  a 
[lect,  tho* 
[  mean — 
lomy,  at 
htent,  for 
et  in  her 
or  is  she 
for  some 

sllers  any 
sses,  and 
when  he 
said,  and 
^8  she  to 
insported. 
rou  do  to 
like  any 
ul.    It  ill 
I  be  found 
ery,  what 
y  up  with 
ies  spread 
;  is  on  a 
J  I.     Not 
They  are 
ig  fellows 
touch  of 
d  she,  'tis 
,  onee  on 
but  I  got 
Id  tell  me 
strate  the 
,  "moral 
•ate  you' 


moral  of  AmUor  for  you,  aoine  of  these  nights,  Vm  miatakM. 
Very  immoral  fellows,  those  'skeeturs. 

Well,  said  I,  my  first  tower  in  the  Clock*trader  was  un 
CSanada  wa  v,  and  I  was  the  first  ever  went  up  Huron  witli 
clocks.  When  I  reached  our  fort,  at  Gratiot,  who  did  I  find 
there  as  commander  of  the  party,  but  the  son  of  an  okl 
American  hero,  a  sarsent  at  Bunket's  Hill.  Well,  bein*  tho 
son  of  an  old  veteran  hero  myself,  it  made  quite  a  fellowship 
atween  us,  like.  He  bought  a  clock  o'  me,  and  invited  me  to 
stay  with  him  till  a  vesselarrived  for  Michigan.  Well,  in  the 
arternoon,  we  went  for  to  take  tea  with  a  gentleman  that  had 
settled  near  the  fort,  and  things  were  sot  out  in  an  arbour, 
surrounded  with  honeysuckle,  and  Isabella  grape,  and  what 
not ;  there  wai  a  view  of  the  fort  from  it,  and  that  elMant 
lake  and  endless  forest ;  it  was  lovely — that's  a  fact ;  andtha 
birds  flocked  round  the  place,  lighted  on  it,  and  sung  so  sweet, 
— I  thought  it  was  the  most  romantic  thing  I  ever  seed  aioca 
I  was  a  created  sinner.  So  said  I  to  his  wife,  ^a  German  lady 
from  one  of  the  emigrant  ships,)  I  prefer,  said  I,  your  band 
of  birds  to  the  Bowery  band  of  New  York,  by  a  long  chalk ; 
it's  natur's  music,  it's  most  delightful,  it's  splendid  I  Furder 
off,  said  she,  I  like  'em  more  better  hash  nearer;  for  the  nasty, 
dirty  tivils  tliey  tirt  in  the  tay  and  de  shuker ;  look  there,  she 
said,  that's  de  tird  cup  now  spilte.  Lord,  it  made  me  sick ! 
I  never  had  any  romance  in  me  arter  that. 

Here  the  Bnglbh  gall  turned  round  and  looked  at  me  for  a 

§Mce  quite  hard.  Said  she,  you  are  a  humorous  people,  Mr. 
lick.;  you  resemble  the  Irish  very  much, — you  remind  mo 
greatly  of  that  lively,  light-hearted,  agreeable  people.  Thank 
you,  said  I,  marm,  for  that  compliment;  we  are  ginerally 
thought  to  resemble  each  other  very  much,  both  in  looks  and. 
dress ;  there's  often  great  mistakes  made  when  they  first  land 
from  the  likeness. 

Arter  a  considerable  of  a  pause,  she  said.  This  must  be  a 
religious  -country,  said  she,  ain't  it  1  for  religion  is  the  "  high- 
est fact  in  man's  right,  and  the  root  of  all  democracy."  If 
religion  is  the  root  of  democracy,  said  I,  it  heor^  some 
strange  fruit  sometimes,  as  the  man  said  of  the  pine-»ree  tho 
five  gamblers  were  Lynched  up  to  Vixburg.  I'm  glad  to  see, 
said  she,  you  have  no  establishment-— it's  an  incubus— a  dead 
weight — a  nightmare.  I  ain't  able,  said  I ;  1  can't  afibjrd  it 
no  now;  and  besides,  said  I,  I  can't  get  no  one  to  have  me. 
Them  that  I  would  have  won't  have  me,  and  them  that  would 
4« 


40  TH8  CLOCKMAKBR. 

have  me,  the  devil  wouldn't  have,  so  I  don*t  see  as  Pm  like>^<^r 
to  be  troubled  with  a  nightmare  for  one  while.    I  don*t  mea# 
that,  said  she,  laughin';  I  mean  an  Established  Church.   Oh!/, 
an  Established  Church,  said  I ;  now  I  understand ;  but  when^ 
I  hear  ladies  talk  of  establishments,   I   always  think  thev 
have  matrimony  in  their  heads.     The  truth  is,  squire,  I  donl* 
like  to  hear  English  people  come  out  here,  and  abuse  their 
church  ;  they've  got  a  church  and  throve  under  it,  and  a  na- 
tional chaiacter  under  it,  for  honour  and  upright  dealin',  such 
as  no  other  people  in  Europe  have :  indeed,  I  could  tell  yoti>^ 
of  some  folks  who  have  to  call  their  goods  English  to  ger"^ 
them  off  in  a  foreign  land  at  all.     The  name  sells  'em.     You 
may  boast  of  this  tree  or  that. tree,  and  call  'em  this  dictioiM^ 
ary  name  and  that  new-fangled  name,  but  give  me  the  treik 
ikkt  bears  the  best  fruity  I  say. 

•  A  church  must  be  paid,  and  the  mode  don't  much  signify  ^, 
at  aay  rate,  it  ain't  for  them  to  abuse  it,  tho'  other  folks  may^ 
choose  to  copy  it,  or  let  it  alone,  as  it  convenes  them.  Your^ , 
people,  said  she,  are  in  advance  of  the  clergy  ^  your  ministers^ 
are  half  men,  half, women,  with  a  touch  of  the  noodle.  You'd 
be  better  without  'em ;  their  parochial  visits  do  more  harm 
than  good.  In  that  last  remark,  said.  I,  I  concur ;  for  if  there's 
a  gall  in  their  vicinity,  with  a  good  fortin',  they'll  snap  her  up 
at  once;  a  feller  has  no  chance  with  'em.  One  on  'em  did 
brother  Eldad  out  of  one  hundred  thousand  dollars  that  way. 
I  don't  speak  of  that,  said  she,  rather  short  like ;  but  they 
haven't  nioral  courage.  They  are  not  bold  shepherds,  but 
timid  sheep ;  they  don't  preach  abolition,  they  don't  meddle 
with  puMic  rights.  As  to  that,  said  I,  they  don't  think  it 
right  to  hasten  on  the  crisis,  to  preach  up  a  servile  war,  to 
encourage  the  blacks  to  cut  their  masters*  throats ;  they  think 
it  a  dangerous  subject  any  way ;  and  besides,  said  I,  they 
have  scruples  o'  conscience  if  they  ought  to  stir  in  it  at  all. 
These  matters  are  state  rights,  or  state  wrongs,  if  you  please, 
and  our  Northern  States  have  no  more  right  to  interfere  in 
'em  than  they  have  to  interfere  in  the  affairs  of  any  other  in- 
dependent sovereign -state  in  Europe.  So  I  don't  blame  minis- 
ters much  fer  that,  arter  all, — so  come  now.  In  England, 
says  I,  you  maintain  that  they  ought  not  to  meddle  with  pub- 
lic rights,  and  call  'em-  political  priests,  and  all  that  sort  o' 
thing,  and  here  you  abuse  'em  for  not  meddlin'  with  'em ;  call 
'em  cowards,  dumb  dogs,  slaves  to  public  opinion,  and  what 
not.    There's  no  pleasin'  some  folks.  ' 


TRAVBLUMG  IV   AMBtllCA. 


/^ 


rm  like 
't  mean 
5h.  Oh! 
lut  when 
nk  they 
!,  I  don't 
ise  their 
nd  a  na> 
in%  such 
tell  you 
h  to  get 
m.     You 
»  diction- 
j  the  tret 

signify ; 
)lk8  may 
n.     Your 
ministers 
e.   You'd 
ore  harm 
r  if  there's 
ap  her  up 
n  *em  did 
that  way. 
but  they 
ierdS)  but 
I't  meddle 
t  think  it 
le  war,  to 
they  think 
d  1,  they 
it  at  all. 
ou  please, 
ilerfere  in 
r  other  in- 
me  minis- 
England, 
with  pub- 
at  sort  o' 
'em ;  call 
and  what 


i*»  At  to  religion,  lays  I,  bein'  the  "  root  of  democracy,"  it's 
the  ror>t  of  monarchy  too,  and  all  governments,  oroughi  to 
be ;  and  there  ain't  that  wide  difference  arter  all  atween  the 
two  countries  some  folks  think  on.  Government  here,  both 
in  theory  and  practice,  resides  with  the  people ;  and  religion 
is  under  the  care  of  the  rael  government.  With  you,  govern- 
ment  i»  in  the  executive,  and  religion  is  m  Ihe  hands  of  the 
government  there.  Church  and  state  are  to  a  sartain  extent 
connected  therefore  in  both.  The  difference  with  Cis  is,  we 
don't  prefer  one  and  establish  it,  and  don't  render  its  support 
oompulioKy.  Better,  perhaps,  if  we  did,  for  it  burns  pretty 
near  out'  sometimes  here,  and  has  to  be  brought  to  by  revivals 
and  camp-meetins',  and  all  sorts  of  excitements ;  and  when 
it  does  come  to,  it  don't  give  a  steady  clear  light  for  some 
time,  but  spits  and  sputters  and  cracks  like  a  candle  that's  got 
a  drop  o'  watqr  on  the  wick.    It  don't  seem  kinder  rational, 

(neither,  that  screamin'  and  screechin',  and  hoopin'  and  hol- 
lerin',  like  nosiest,  and  tumblin'  into  faintin's,  and  fits,  and 
•woons,  and  what  not. 

i^  I  don't  like  preaehirC  to  the  narves  instead  of  the  judg- 
me;i<>— I  recollect  a  lady  once,  tho'.convarted  by  preachin'  to 
her  narves,  that  was  an  altered  woman  all  the  rest  o'  her 
days.  How  was  that  ?  said  she ;  these  stories  illustrate  the 
.  **  science  of  religion."  I  like  to  hear  them.  There  was  a 
lady,  said  I,  (and  I  thought  I'd  give  her  a  story  for  her  book,) 
that  tried  to  rule  her  husband  a  little  tighter  than  was  agreea- 
bler— meddlln'  with  things  she  didn't  onderstand,  and  dictatin' 
in  matters  of  politics  and  religion,  and  every  thing  a'most. 
80  one  day  her  husband  had  got  up  considerable  airly  in  the 
mornin',  and  went  out  and  got  a  tailor,  and  brought  him  into 
his  wife's  bed-room  afore  she  was  out  o'  bed : — *'  Measure 
that  woman,"  said  he,  "  for  a  pair  of  breeches ;  she's  detar- . 
mined  to  wear  'em,  and  I'm  resolved  folks  shall  know  it,"  and 
be  shook  the  cowskin  over  the  tailor's  head  to  show  him  he 
intended  to  be  obeyed.  It  cured  her, — she  begged,  and  pray- 
ed, and  cried,  and  promised  obedience  to  her'  husband.  He 
spared  her,  but  it  eflbctuated  a  cure.  Now  that's  what  I  call 
preachin*  to  the  narvee :  Lord,  how  she  would  have  kicked 

and  squeeled  if  the  tailor  had  a .   A  very  good  story,  said 

she,  abowin'  and  amovin'  a  little,  so  as  not  to  hear  about  the 
roeasurln',— a  very  good  story  indeed. 

If  you  was  to  revarse  that  maxim  o'  yourn,  said  I,  and  say 
democracy  is  too  often  found  at  the  root  of  religion,  you'd  be 


^  THE  CliOCKMAKBIU 

nearer  the  mark,  I  reckon.  I  knew  a  case  onco  exactly  in 
point.  Do  tell  it  to  me,  said  she ;  it  will  illustrate  "  the  spirit 
of  religion.'*  Ybs,  said  I,  and  illustrate  your  book  too,  if  you 
%iB  a  writin'  one,  as  most  English^  travellers  do.  Our  eon* 
gregation,  said  I,  at  Slickville,  contained  most  of  the  wealthy 
and  respectable  folk  there,  and  a  most  powerful  and  united 
body  it  was.  Well,  there  came  a  split  once  on  the  election 
of  an  elder,  and  a  body  of  the  upper-crust  folks  separated  and 
went  off  in  a  huff.  Like  most  folks  that  separate  in  temper, 
they  laid  it  all  to  conscience ;  found  out  all  at  once  they  had 
been  adrifl  afore  all  their  lives,  and  join'd  another  church  as 
different  from  our*n  in  creed  as  chalk  is  from  cheese ;  and  to 
show  their  humility,  hooked  on  to  the  poorest  congregation  in 
the  place.  VVell,  the  minister  was  quite  lifted  up  in  the  stin 
rups  when  he  saw  these  folks  gine  him ;  and  to  show  his  zeal 
for  them  the  next  Sunday,  he  looked  up  at  the  gallery  to  the 
niggers,  and,  said  he,  my  brether'n,  said  ho,  I  beg  you  won't 
spit  down  any  more  on  the  aisle  seats,  for  there  be  gentlemen 
there  now.  Gist  turn  your  heads,  my  sable  friends,  and  let 
go  over  your  shoulders.  Manners,  my  brothers,  manners  be- 
fore backey.  Well,  the  niggers  seceded  ;  they  said,  it  wap  an 
infringement  on  their  rights,  on  their  privilege  of  spittin',  as 
freemen,  where  they  liked,  how  they  liked,  and  when  they 
liked,  and  they  quit  in  a  body.  "  Democracy,"  said  they, "  is 
the  root  of  religion." 

Is  that  a  facti  said  she.  No  mistake,  said  I ;  T  seed  it  my- 
self; I  ^now  'em  all*  Well,  it's  a  curious  fact,  said  she,  and 
very  illustrative.  It  illustrates  the  idniversality  of  spittin',  and 
the  universality  of  democracy.  It's  characteristic.  I  have 
no  fear  of  a  people  where  the  right  of  spittin'  is  held  sacred 
from  the  interminable  assaults  of  priestcraft.  She  laid  down 
her  trumpet,  and  took  out  her  pocket«book  and  began  to  write 
it  down.  She  swallar'd  it  all.  I  have  seen  her  book  since) 
it's  gist  what  I  expected  from  her.  The  chapter  on  religion 
strikes  at  the  root  of  all  religion ;  and  the  effects  of  such  doc- 
trines are  exhibited  in  the  gross  slander  she  has  written  ag'in 
her  own  sex  in  the  States,  from  whom  she  received  nothin* 
but  kindness  and  hospitality.  I  don't  call  that  pretty  at  all ; 
it's  enough  to  drive  hospitality  out  of  the  land. 

I  know  what  you  allude  to,  said  I,  and  fully  concur  with 
you  in  opinion,  that  it  is  a  gross  abominable  slander,  adopted 
on  insufficient  authority,  and  the  more  abominable  from  com- 
ing fronr  a  woman.  .  Our  church  may  be  aristocratic ;  but  if 


£1 


IS, 


actly  in 
he  spirit 
5,  if  you 
)ur  eon- 
wealthy 
td  united 
election 
ated  and 
1  temper, 
they  hiad 
hurch  as 
;  and  to 
gation  in 
the  stir* 
'  his  zeal 
(ry  to  the 
'ou  won't 
;entlenien 
,  and  let 
nners  he- 
it  waf  an 
pittin*,  as 
hen  they 
they, "  is 

■^ — 

ed  it  my- 

she,  and 

itlin%  and 

I  have 
sld  sacred 
aid  down 
n  to  write 
)ok  since, 

religion 
9uch  doc- 
tten  ag'in 
ed  nothin* 
tty  at  all ; 

pcur  with 
adopted 
irom  com- 
c;  but  if 


TRAVELLIBTO  IH   AMERICA. 

it  b,  it  teaches  good  manners,  and  a  regard  for  the  decencies 
of  life.  Had  she  listened  more  to  the  regular  clergy,  and  less 
|o  the  modern  illuminati,  she  might  have  learned  a  little  of 
-  that  chaflty  which  induces  us  to  think  well  of  others,  and  to 
•peak  ill  of  none.  It  certainly  was  a  great  outrage,  and  I  am 
sorry  that  outrage  was  perpetrated  by  an  Englishwoman.  I 
am  proper  glad  you  agree  with  me,  squire,  said  he ;  but  come 
and  see  for  yourself,  and  I  will  explain  matters  to  you ;  for 
without  some  one  to  let  you  into  things  you  won't  understand 
us.  ril  take  great  pleasure  in  bein'  your  guide,  for  I  must 
say  I  like  your  conversation. — How  singular  this  is!  to  the 
natural  reserve  of  my  country,  I  add  an  uncommon  taci- 
turnity; but  this  peculiar  adaptation  to  listening  has  every 
where  established  for  me  that  rare,  but  most  desirable  reputa- 
tion, of  being  a  good  companion.  It  is  evident,  therefore,  that 
listeners  are  everywhere  more  scarce  than  talkers,  and  are 
valued  accordingly.  Indeed,  without  them,  what  would  be- 
come of  the  talkers  ? 

Yes,  I  like  your  conversation,  said  the  clockmaker  (who  the 
reader  must  have  observed  has  had  all  the  talk  to  himself). 
We  are  like  the  Chinese ;  they  have  two  languages,  the  writ- 
ten language  and  the  spoken  language.  Strangers  only  get 
as  far  as  the  spoken  one ;  but  all  secret  affairs  of  religion  and 
government  are  sealed  up  in  the  written  one ;  they  can't  make 
nothin'  of  it.  That's  gist  the  case  with  us ;  we  have  two  lan- 
guages, one  for  strangers,  and  one  for  ourselves.  A  stranger 
must  know  this,  or  he's  all  adrifl.  We've  got  our  own  diffi- 
culties, our  own  doubts,  our  own  troubles,  as  well  as  other 
folks,— it  would  be  strange  if  we  hadn't ;  but  we  don't  chouse 
to  bl^rt  'em  all  out  to  the  world. 

Look  at  oiir  President's  Message  last  year ;  he  said,  we  was 
the  most  prosperous  nation  on  the  face  of  the  airth,  peace  and 
plenty  spreadin'  over  the  land,  and  more  wealth  than  we 
know'd  hqw  to  spend.  At  that  very  time  we  was  on  the  point 
of  national  bankruptcy.  He  said,  the  great  fire  at  New  York 
did'nt  cause  one  failure ;  good  reason  why,  the  goods  were  all 
owned  at  London  and  Lyons,  and  the  failures  took  place  there, 
and  not  here.  Our  President  said  on  that  occasion,  our  maxim 
is,  "  do  no  wrong,  and  suffer  no  insult."  Well,  at  that  very 
time  our  ginerat  was  marchin'  into  the  Mexican  territory,  and 
our  people  off  South,  boarded  Texas  and  took  it, — and  our 
folks  down  North-east  were,  ready  to  do  the  same  neighbourly 
act  to  Canada,  only  waitiu'  for Papeneau  to  say,  "All  ready.** 


46 


TUB  OLOOKMAKBR. 


He  boasted  we  had  no  national  debt,  but  a  large  sui^IuBlwv^- 
'  nue  in  the  public  chist,  and  yet,  add  up  the  public  debt  of  each 
separate  state,  and  see  what  a  whappin'  large  one  that  inakee. 
We  don't  intertain  strangers,  as  the  English  do,  witlfthe  trou- 
bles of  our  Ijousehold  and  the  bother  our  servants  give  us ; 
we  think  it  ain't  hospitable,  nor  polished,  nor  even  good  nuui* 
ners ;  we  keep  that  for  the  written  laQsuage.among^  ourselves. 
If  you  don't  believe  my  word,  go  and  ask  the  Britisher  that 
was  at  Mr.  Madison's  court  when  the  last  war  broke  out-— he 
was  the  only  man  to  Washington  that  know'd  nothing  about 
it — he  didn't  understand  the  language.  I  guess  you  may  go 
and  pack  up  your  duds  and  go  home,  said  Mr.  Madison  to  him 
one  day,  when  he  called  there  to  the  leoee.  Go  gome  I  si^d 
he,  and  he  wrinkled  up  his  forehead,  and  drew  up  his  eyeUds, 
as  much  as  to  say,  I  estimate  you  are  mad,  ain't  you  1  Xjio 
home  I  said  he.  What  for?  Why,  said  he,  I  reckon  we  are 
at  war.  At  war !  said  the  Englishman ;  why,  you  don't  say 
60?  there  can't  be  a  word  of  truth  in  the  report:  my  dispatch^ 
say  nothin'  of  it.  Perhaps  not,  said  the  President,  quite  cool, 
(only  a  slight  twitch  of  his  mouth  showed  how  he  would  like 
to  haw,  haw,  right  out,  only  it  warn't  decent,)  perhaps  iftot, 
but  I  presume  I  declared  war  yesterday,  when  you  was  en- 
gaged a  playin'  of  a  game  at  chess  with  Mrs.  Madison.  Folks 
say  they  raelly  pitied  him,  he  looked  so  taken  aback,  so 
streaked,  so  completely  dumbfounded.  No,  when  I  say  you 
can't  make  us  out,  you  always  laugh ;  but  it's  true  you  can't 
without  an  interpreter.  We  speak  the  English  language  and 
the  American  language ;  you  must  lam  the  American  2aii- 
guage^  if  you  want  to  understand  the  American  people* 


CHAPTER  VI. 


ELECTIVE  COUNCILS.  - 

What  would  be  the  effect,  Mr.  Slick,  said  I,  of  elective 
councils  in  this  country,  if  government  would  consent  to  make 
the  experiment?  Why,  that's  a  thing,  said  he,  you  can't  do 
m  your  form  o'  government,  tryin'  an  experiment,  tho'  we 
can ;  you  can't  give  the  word  of  command,  if  it  turns  out  & 
bunglin'  piece  of  business,  that  they  use  in  militia  trainin',-^ 
^*,M  YOU  were.'!    It's  different  with  us — we  caa,r— our  govern* 


ELflxmvi  oounrciLS. 


4t 


ibt  of  each 
At  makea. 
hrtbetrou- 
s  give  us ; 
good  man* 
ourselves, 
tisher  that 
le  out— be 
ling  about 
)u  may  ^ 
ison  to  him 
{omel  si^d 
bis  eyeU<)9t 
you  1    ^o 
ion  we  are 

I  don*t  say 
r  dispatches 
,  quite  cool, 
would  like 
erhaps  Aot, 
)u  was  en* 
son.  Folks 

aback,  so 

I I  say  you 
J  yQucanH 
iguage  and 
irican  Ian' 
tople* 


of  elective 
ent  to  make 
rou  can't  do 
mt,  tho'  wo 
turns  out  a 
trainin',— 
■our  gpvero* 


ment-  is  a  democracy, — all  power  is  in  the  people  at  large ; 
we  can  go  on  and  change  from  one  thing  to  another,  and  try 
any  experiment  we  choose,  as  often  as  we  like,  for  all  changes 
have  the  lilu  remits  of  leavin'  the  power  in  the  game  plact 
and  the  tame  handi.  But  you  must  know  beforehand  how  it 
will  work  in  your  mixed  government,  and  shouldn't  make  no 
change  you  ainU  sure  about.  What  good  would  an  elective 
council  be  ?  It  is  thought  it  would  give  the  upper  branches, 
said  I,  more  community  of  feeling,  more  sympathy,  and  moro 
weight  with  the  country  at  large ;  that  being  selected  by  the 
people,  the  people  would  have  more  confidence  in  them,  and 
that  more  efficient  and  more  suitable  men  would  be  chosen  by 
the  freeholders  than  by  the  crown.  You  would  gist  get  the 
identical  same  sort  o*  critters,  said  he,  in  the  eend,  as  the 
members  of  Assembly,  if  they  were  elected,  and  no  better ; 
I  they  would  be  selected  by  the  same  judges  of  horse-flesh  as 
t'other,  and  chose  out  o'  the  same  flock.  It  would  be  the  same 
breed  o'  cattle  at  last.  But,  said  I,  you  forget  that  it  is  pro- 
posed to  raise  the  qualification  of  the  voters  from  forty  shillings 
to  forty  pounds  per  year ;  whereby  you  would  have  a  better 
class  of  electors,  and  insure  a  better  selection.  Gist  you  try 
it,  said  he,  and  there  would  be  an  eend  to  the  popular  motions 
in  the  House  of  Assembly  to  extend  the  suffrages — for  every 
thin§  that  gives  povoer  to  numbers^  jpill  carry  numbers^  and 
l^  popular,  and  every  felier  who  lived  on  excitement,  would 
be  tor  everlastingly  a  agitatin*  of  it,  Candidate,  Slangwhanger, 
and  Member.  You'd  have  no  peace,  you'd  be  for  ever  on  the 
move  as  our  citizens  are  to  New  York,  and  they  move  into 
a  new  house  every  first  o'  Msfy-day.  If  there  be  any  good 
in  that  are  Council  at  all,  it  is  in  their  bein'  placed  above 
popular  excitement,  and  subject  to  no  influence  but  that  of 
reason,  and  the  fitness  of  things :  chaps  that  have  a  consider- 
able stake  in  the  country,  and  don't  buy  their  seats  by  pledges 
and  promises,  pledges  that  half  the  time  ruin  the  country  if 
they  are  kept,  and  always  ruin  the  man  that  breaks  'em.  It's 
better  as  it  is  in  the  hands  of  the  government.  It's  a  safety- 
valve  now,  to  let  off  the  fume,  and  steam,  and  vapour,  gene- 
rated by  the  heat  of  the  lower  House.  If  you  make  that 
branch  elective  you  put  the  government  right  into  the  gap, 
and  all  di^rence  of  opinion,  instead  of  bein'  between  the  two 
branches  as  it  is  now,  (that  is,  in  fact,  between  the  people 
themselves,)  would  then  occur  in  all  cases  between  the  people 
uid  the  governor.    Afore  long  that  would  either  seal  up  thr 


J 


„'■  ( 


( 


fS  TIUB  CLOC&MAKSR. 

voice  of  the  executive,  so  that  they  darn't  call  their  souls  their 
own,  or  make  ^m  onpopular,  and  whenever  the  executive  onc« 
fairly  gets  .into  that  are  pickle,  there's  an  end  of  the  colony, 
and  a  declaration  of  independence  would  soon  follec  Papinor 
knows  that,  and  that's  the  reason  he's  so  hot  for  it,-— he  knows 
what  it  would  lead  to  in  the  eend.  That  critter  may  want 
ginger,  for  ought  I  know ;  but  he  dpa't  want  for  gumption  you 
may  depend.  Elective  council*  are  inconsi^nt  with  colonial 
dependence.  "  It's  takin'  away  the  crane  that  holds  up  the  pot 
from  the  fire,  to  keep  it  from  boilin'  over,  and  ciappin'  it  right 
on  the  hot  coals :  what  a  gallopin'  boil  it  would  soon  come 
into,  wouldn't  it?  In  all  mixed  governments^  like  your'n, 
the  true  rule  is  never  to  interfere  with  pop'lar  rights  estab- 
lished. Amend  what  is  wrong,  concede  what  is  right,  and  qo 
what  is  just  always ;  but  j^reaarve  the  balance  of  the  conatitU' 
ti'tn  for  your  life.  One  pound  weight  only  taken  off  the 
executive,  and  put  on  t'other  eend,  is  like  a  shift  of  the  weight 
on  a  well  balanced  plank  till  it  won't  play  true  no  more,  but 
keeps  a  slidin'  and  a  slidin'  down  by  leetle  and  leetle  to  the 
heaviest  eend,  till  it  all  stays  down  to  one  side,  and  won't 
work  no  longer.     It's  a  system  of  checks  now,  but  when  all 

.  the  checks  run  together,  and  make  only  one  weight,  they'll 
do  as  our  senate  did  once  (for  that  ain't  no  check  no  more)— • 
it  actilly  passed  ^hat  cussed  embargo  law  of  Je^rson's  that 
ruined  our  trade,  rotted  our  shippin',  and  bankrupted  the 
whole  nation,  arter  it  come  up  from  the  House  of  Representa- 
tives  through  all  its  three  rea^in's  in  four  hours;  I  hope  I  noay 
be  skinned  if  it  didn't.  It  did,  I  snore.  That's  the  beauty 
of  havin'  two  bodies  to  look  at  things  thro'  only  one  spyglass, 

_and  blow  bubbles  thro'  one  pipe..  There's  no  appeal,  no 
redress,  in  that  ca^p,  and  what's  more,  when  one  party  gives 
riders  to  both  horses,  they  ride  over  you  like  wink,  and  tread 
vou  right  under  foot,^as  arbitrary  as  the  old  Scratch  himself. 
There's  no  tyranny  on  airth  equal  to  the  tyranny  of  a  major- 
Uy;  you  can't  form  no  notion  of  it  unless  you  seed  'it.  Just 
see  how  they  sarved  them  chaps  to  Baltimore  last  war.  Gene- 
ral  Lingan  and  thirty  other  fellers  that  had  the  impudence  to 
say  t^ey  didn't  approve  of  the  doin's  of  the  administratioa ; 
they  gist  lynched  'em  and  stoned  'em  to  death  like  ddgs. 

We  find  among  us  the  greatest  democrat*  are  the  greaUui 
tyrants.  No,  squire ;  vepair,  amend,  enlarge,  ventilate,  mO* 
derqize  a  little  too,  if  you  like,  your  structure ;  pot  new  roof, 
j^yt  porch,  winders  and  doors,  fresh  paint  and  shingle  it,  infika 


uls  tbeix 

Live  one* 

)  colony. 
Papinof 

le  knowa 

[jay  want 

ption  you 

\  eoloniol 

ip  the  pot 

n'  it  right 

loon  come 

e  your*n, 

rhts  estaj)- 

ht,  and  4o 

e  eonatitU' 

ja  off  the 

the  weight 

,  more*  but 

jetle  to  the 
and  won't 

It  when  all 

|ght,  they'll 

lo  more) — ' 

;r8on's  Uiat 

Lrupted  the 
Lepresenta* 
iope  1  ra«y 
the  beai;^y 
spyglass, 
_ppeal,  no 
party  gives 
|c,  and  tread 
[tch  himself. 
of  a  tnajoT' 
jd>it.    Just 
war,  Gene- 
ipudence  to 
linistration; 

Ied6^. 
ythegreaiea 

|ntilate,  wO* 
[at  new  roof, 
Igle  U,in#^ 


.BfclOTIVI  OOVfiaLS.  ^ti 

it  more  attraetlvo  and  pleasfint«r  to  inhabit,  and  of  course  it 
will  be  more  valuable  (---but  do  you  leave  the  foundation  alone 
—-don't  you  meddle  with  the  rrttme,  the  braces,  and  girts  for 
your  lile,  or  it  will  spreitd,  bulge  out,  leak"  like  the  devil,  and 
come  to  pieces  some  o'  tbige  stormy  nights  about  your  ears 
as  sure  as  you  ure  bornt  Make  no  organic  changes.  There 
are  quacks  in  politias,  Muire,  as  well  as  in  med'cine,— critters 
who  have  unevarMAl  pilli  to  6ure  all  sorts  o'  diseases ;  and 
many's  the  constitution,  hunmn  and  politic,  they've  fixt  atween 
them.  There's  no  knowiii'  th@  gripes  and  pains  and  colics 
they've  caused  (  and  the  wont  of  it  is,  the  poor  devils  that  get 
in  their  'hands,  whm  they  are  on  the  broad  of  their  backs 
can't  help  themsolvei,  but  turh  up  the  whites  of  their  eyes, 
and  say.  Oh  dear  I  I'm  verv  bod  >  how  will  it  go  ?  Go,  says 
they ;  why,  like  a  bouNe  anr^r-Aill  split, — goin'  on  grandly, 
—rcouldn't  do  no  better,— gist  what  was  expected.  YouHl 
kaw  a  new  eonntUuthn,  strong  as  »  lion:  oh!  goin'  on 
grandly.  Well,  I  dont  know,  savs  the  misfortunate  critter ; 
but  I  feels  a  plaguy  tight  more  like  goin'  off  than  goin'  on,  I 
tell  you.  Tbsn  comet  apiekin  o*  the  bed*clothes,  a  clammy 
sweat,  cold  feet,  tbi  hieeupf  rattles,  and  death.  Sarve  him 
right,  says  quaek )  the  eutned  fool  bos  had  doctors  too  long 
atout  him  in  former  dayt,  and  they  sapped  his  constitution, 
and  fixt  his  flint  for  himi  why  did'nt  he  call  me  in  sooner? 
The  consaited  att  thought  be  knowod  every  thing,  and  didn't 
foiler  out  all  my  pretcriptionti  one  comfort,  though — his  estate 
shall  pay  for  it,  I  vow.  Yet,  isuire,  and  that  is  the  pity,  win 
or  lose,  live  or  die,  the  ettate  does  pay  for  it — that's  a  i'act ; 
and  what's  worser,  too,  many  on  'em  care  more  about  dividin' 
the  spoil  tfian  eftbatin'  the  eur§f  by  a  long  chalk. 

There's  always  some  Jugstery  of  quackery  agoin'  on  every 
where  a'most.  It  putt  tm  in  mind  of  the  Wilmot  springs.=— 
One  of  the  greatest  flamt  I  e^er  heerd  tell  of  in  this  province, 
was  brought  out  bereaboutt  In  Wilmot,  and  succeeded  for  a 
space  beyond  all  caUmtation.  Our  sea  sarpant  was  no  touch 
to  it,-— dnd  that  wot  a  grand  tteambont  spcKikilation  too,  for  a 
nation  sight  of  folks  went  from  Botton  down  to  Providence 
and  back  ag'io,  oo  purpote  to  tee  the  sarpant  in  the  boat  that 
first  spoke  it  out  to  tea.  Btlt  then  they  were  nil  pleasurin' 
parties,  young  folka  takbi'  a  trip  by  water,  instead  of  a  quiltin' 
frolic  to  shore.  It  gave  the  galls  tomethin'  to  talk  about  and 
to  do,  to  strain  tb«ir  IHtle  eyea  through  the  captain's  great  big 
q^y'glass,  to  tee  their  nateral  enemytthe  sarpant;  and  youi 
6 


1: 


TRB  CLOCKMAXnU 

may  depend  they  had  all  the  curiosity  of  old  Marm  Eve  toflNr' 
It  was  all  young  hearts  and  young  eyes,  and  pretty  ones  they 
were,  I  tell  you.  But  this  here  Wilmot  wonder  was  sort  of  a 
Aineral  affair,  an  old  and  ugly  assortment,  a  kind  of  Irish 
wake,  part  dead  and  part  alive,  where  one  half  groaned  with 
ijtorrow  and  pain,  and  t*other  half  groaned  to  keep  'em  com- 
pany/— a  rael,  right  down  genuine  hysteric  frolic,  near  about 
OS  much  cryin*  as  laughin',— 'it  beat  all  natur*.  1  believe  they 
actilly  did  good  in  sartain  cases,  in  proper  doses  with  proper 
diet ;  and  in  some  future  day,  in  more  knowin'  hands  they 
will  come  into  vogue  ag'in,  and  make  a  good  speckilation ; 
but  I  have  always  obsarved  when  an  article  is  once  run  down, 
and  folks  find  out  that  it  has  gdt  more  puffin'  than  it  desarves, 
they  don't  give  it  no  credit  at  all,  and  it  is  a  long  time  afore  it 
comes  round  agin.  The  Wilmot  springs  are- situated  on  the 
right  there,  away  up,  onder  that  mountain  a-head  on  us. 
They  sartainly  did  make  a  wonderful  great  noise  three  years 
ago.  If  the  pool  of  Salopm  had  been  there,  it  couldn't  ahad 
a  greater  crowd  o'  clowns  a'bout  it.  The  lame  and  maimed, 
the  consumptive  and  dropsical,  the  cancerous  and  leprous,  the 
old  drunkard  and  the  young  rake,  the  barren  wife  and  sick 
maid,  the  larfin'  catholic  and  sour  sectary,  high  and  low,  rich 
and  poor,  black  and  white,  fools  of  all  ages,  sizes,  and  degrees, 
were  assembled  there  adrinkin',  bathin',  and  awashin'  in  the 
waters,  and  carryin'  off  the  mud  for  poultices  and  plaisters. 
It  killed  some,  and  cured  some,  and  fool'd  a  nation  sight  o( 
folks.  Down  at  the  mouth  of  the  spring,  where  it  discharges 
into  a  stream,  there  is  a  soil  bottom,  and  there  you'd  see  a 
feller  standing  with  one  leg  stuck  in  the  mud ;  another  lying 
on  a  plank,  with  an  arm  shoved  into  the  ooze  up  to  the 
shoulder ;  a  third  asittin'  down,  with  a  mask  o'  mould  like  a 
gypsum  cast  on  his  head ;  others  with  naked  feet  spotted  all 
over  with  the  clay,  to' cure  corns;  and  these  grouped  ag'in 
here  with  an  unfortunate  feller  with  a  stiff  arm,  who  could 
bnly  thrust  in  his  elbow ;  and  there  with  another  sittin*  on  a 
chair  adanglin'  his  feet  in  the  mire  to  cure  the  rheumatis ; 
while  a  third,  sunk  up  to  his  ribs,  had  a  man  apourin'  water 
on  his  head  for  an  eruption,  as  a  gard'ner  waters  a  tranin 
planted  cabbage-plant,  all  declarin*  they  felt  better,  and  won- 
derin*  it  had'nt  been  found  out  afore.  It  was  horrid,  I  tell  yon, 
to  see  folks  makin'  such  fools  of  themselves. 

/  If  that  are  spring  had  belonged  to  an  American  citizen,  that 
had  made  such  an  everlastin'  touss  about  it,  folks  would  faav« 


i- 


BLBonvs  oouncouB. 


u 


ve  tow 
B8they 
>rt  of  a 
>f  Irish 
ed  with 
n  cord" 
ir  about 
5ve  they 
I  proper 
ids  they 
lilation;  , 
in  down, 
lesarves, 
9  afore  it 
)  on  the 
1  on  us. 
:ee  years 
InH  ahad 
maimedf 
iroust  the 
and  sick 
low,  rich 
i  degrees, 
in*  in  the 
plaistera. 
I  sight  of 
lischarges 
>u*d  see  a 
;h*r  lying 
up  to  the 
uld  like  a 
spotted  all 
aped  ag'in 
who  could 
littin'  on  a 
rheumatis ; 
urin'  water 
rs  a  tranfr. 
r,  and  won- 
1,1  tell  you, 

citizen,  that 
would  have 


■aid  they  calkelated  it  was  a  Yankee  trick ;  as  it  was,  thev 
set  each  other  on,  and  every  critter  that  came  home  from  it 
sent  half  a  dozen  neighbours  off, — so  none  on  *em  could  larf 
at  each  otiier.  The  road  was  actilly  covered  with  people.  I 
saw  one  old  goney,  seventy  years  of  age,  stuck  in  a  gig  atween 
two  matresses,  like  a  carcase  of  mutton  atween  two  bales  of 
wool  in  a  countryman's  cart.  The  old  fool  was  agoin*  to  be 
made  young,  and  to  be  married  when  he  returned  to  home. 
Folks  believed  every  thing  they  heerd  of  it.  They  actilly 
swallercd  a  story  that  a  British  officer  that  had  a  cork  leg 
bathed  there,  and  the  flesh  growed  on  it,  so  that  no  soul  could 
tell  the  diflerence  atween  it  and  the  nateral  one.  They  be- 
lieved the  age  of  miracles  had  come ;  so  a  feller  took  a  dead 
pig  and  throwM  it  in,  sayin*  who  know'd  as  it  cured  the  half 
dead,  that  it  wouldn't  go  the  whole  hog.  That  joke  fixt  the 
Wilmot  springs :  it  turned  the  larf  against  'cm  ;  and  it  was 
lucky  it  did,  for  they  were  findin'  springs  gist  like  'em  every 
where.  Ev(&ry  pool  the  pigs  had  ryled  was  tasted,  and  if  it 
was  too  bad  for  the  stomach,  it  was  pronounced  medicinal. 
The  nearest  doctor  wrote  an  account  of  it  fori  the  newspapers, 
and  said  it  had  sulphur  saltpetre  in  it,  and  that  the  mud  when 
dried  would  make  good  powder,  quite  good  enough  to  blow 
gypsum  and  shoot  us  Yankees.  At  last  they  exploded  spon- 
taneous, the  sulphur,  saltpetre,  and  burnt  brans  went  off  them- 
selves, and  uothin'  has  ever  been  since  heerd  of  the  Wilmot 
springs. 

It's  pretty  much  the  case  in  politics;  folks  have  always 
some  bubble  or  another, — some  el^tive  council, — private  bal- 
k^, — short  parliaments,— -or  some  pill  or  another  to  cure  all 
political  evils  in  natur';  with  quacks  enough  to  cry  'em  up, 
and  interested  quacks  also,  who  make  their  ned  out  of  'em, 
afore  people  get  tired  of  them  and  their  pills  too.  There  was 
a  time  when  there  was  too  many  public  officers  in  your  coun- 
cil here,  but  they've  died  off,  or  moved  off,  and  too  many  of 
'em  lived  to  Halifax,  and  too  few  of  'em  in  the  country,  and 
folks  thought  a  new  deal  would  give  'em  more  fair  play. 
Well,  they've  got  a  new  deal  now,  and  new  cards.  So  far  so 
good.  A  change  of  men  is  no  great  matter — natur'  is  a 
changin'  of  'em  all  Ihe  time  if  government  don't.  But  the 
constitution  is  another  thing.  You  can't  take  out  the  vitals 
and  put  in  new  ones,  as  you  can  in  a  watch-case,  with  any 
great  chance  of  success,  as  ever  I  heerd  tell  of.  I've  seen 
some*  most  l;)eautiful  operations  performed*.  tOQ*  hy  brother 


I*> 


ftS 


TM  OLOOXMAKKR. 


Eldad,  where  the  patients  lived  thro*  'em,— end  he  got  fl 
plaguy  sight  of  credit  for  'em, — but  they  all  died  a  few  day» 
arterwards.  Why,  'Dad,  says  I,  what  in  natur'  is  the  good 
o'  th«m  are  operations,  and  puttin'  the  poor  critters  to  all  that 
pain  and  misery,  and  their  estate  to  so  much  expense,  if  it 
don't  do  'em  no  good  ? — for  it  seems  to  me  that  they  all  do 
go  for  it ;  that's  sartain.  \*»'* 

..  Well,  it  was  a  dreadful  pretty  operation  tho',  Sam,  warn*! 
it  7  he'd  say ;  but  the  critter  was  desperate  sick  and  peeower- 
fully  weak ;  I  raely  was  e'en  a'most  afeer'd  I  shouldn't  carry 
him  thro'  it.  But  what's  the  use  on  it  at  last,  when  it  kills, 
'em  ?  said  I ;  for  you  see  they  do  slip  thro'  your  fingers  in 
the  eend.  A  feller,  says  he,  Sam,  that  s  consfderable  slippery  ^, 
all  his  life,  may  be  a  little  slippery  towards  the  eend  on't,  and  ' 
there's  no  help  ibr  it,  as  I  see ; — but  Sam,  said  he,  with  a  jupe 
o'  the  head,  and  a  wink  quite  know  in',  you  ain't  up  to  snuff 
yet,  I  see.  It  don't  kill  *em  if  they  don't  die  under  the  knife ; 
if  you  can  carry  'em~^  thro'  the  operation,  and  they  die  next 
day,  they  always  die  of  sun'thin'  else,  and  the  doctor  is  a 
made  man  for  ever  and  a  day  arterwards,  too.  Do  you  ap« 
prehend  now,  my  boy  ?  Yes,  says  I,  I  apprehend  there  are 
tricks  in  other  trades,  as  well  as  the  clock  trade  ;  only  some 
on  'em  ain't  quite  so  innocent,  and  there's  some  I  wouldn't 
like  to  play  I  know.  No,  said  he,  I  suppose  not ;  and  then 
haw;hawin  right  out — how  soil  we  are,  San^  ain't  we? 
said  he. 

Yes,  presarve  the  principle  of  the  mechanism  of  your  con> 
stitution,  for  it  ain't  a  bad  one,  and  presarve  the  balances,  and 
the  rest  you  can  improve  on  without  endangerin'  the  whole 
engin'.  One  thing  too  is  sartain, — a  power  imprudently  given 
to^the  escecvtivej  or  to  the  people y  is  seldom  or  never  got  back\ 
!> ain't  been  to  England  since  your  Reform  Bill  passed,  but 
some  folks  do  say  it  works  complete,  that  it  goes  as  easy  as  a 
loaded  wagon  down  hill,  full  chisel.  Now  suppose  that  bill 
was  found  to  be  alterin'  of  the  balances,  so  that  the  cionstitu* 
tion  couldn't  work  many  years  longer,  without  acomin'  to  a 
dead  stand j  could  you  repeal  it  ?  and  say  "  as  you  were  7" 
Ijet  a  bird  out  o'  your  hand  and  try  to  catch  it  ag'in,  will 
you  ?  Nov  squire,  said  the  Clockmaker,  you  have  laws  k  re- 
gilatin'  of  quack  doctors,  but  none  a  regilav.ii'  of  quack  poli* 
ticians :  now  a  quack  doctor  is  bad  enough,  and  dangerous ' 
enough,  gracious  knows,  but  a  quack  politician  is  a  devil  out- 
lawed,— that's  a  fact. 


SLAVERY. 


68 


got« 
V  day» 
9  good 
lU  that 
le,  if  it 

all  do 

wam't 

leo^er* 
t  carry  , 
it  kilW;: 
gers  in 
>Uppery  ^ 
a^t,  ana 
I  a  jupe  ^ 
o  snuflT  ;^ 
3  knife  f^ 
lie  next  ^ 
lor  is  a 
yaa  ap* 
lere  are 
ly  some 
irouldn't 
nd  then 
I't  weT 

Mir  con- 
ces,  and 
le  whole 
ly  given 
ot  back^ 
Bed,  but 
asy  as  a 
that  bill 
(ionstitu- 
lin*  to  a 
wereT 
;'in,  will 
ivs  k  re- 
ick  pdli* 
mgerous 
evil  out- 


CHAPTER  VII. 


SLAVERY. 


Thb  road  from  Kentville  to  Wilmot  passes  over  an  exten- 
sive and  dreary  sand  plain,  equally  fatiguing  to  man  and 
horse,  and  after  three  hours'  hard  dragging  oh  this  heavv 
road,  wo  looked  out  anxiously  for  an  inn  to  rest  and  refresh 
our  ffallant "  Clay." 

There  it  is,  said  Mr.  Slick ;  you'll  kn^w  it  by  that  high 
post,  on  which  they  have  jibitted  one  of  their  governors 
ahorseback  as  a  sign.  The  first  nifiht  I  stopt  there,  I  vow  I ' 
co'jidnH  sleep  a  wink  for  the  creakin  of  it,  as  it  swung  back- 
wards and  forwards  in  the  wind.  It  sounded  so  nateral  like, 
that  I  couldn't  help  thiukin'  i*  was  a  rael  man  hung  in  chains 
there.  It  put  me  in  mind  cf  the  slave  to  Charleston,  that 
was  strung  up  for  pysonTn'  his  master  and  mistress.  When 
we  drove  up  to  the  door,  a  black  man  came  out  of  t)ie  stable, 
and  took  the  horse  by  the  head  in  a  listless  and  reluctant  man- 
ner, but  his  attention  was  shortly  awakened  by  the  animal, 
whom  he  soon  began  to  examine  attentively.  Him  don't  look 
like  blue  nose,  said  blacky, — sartin  him  stranger.  Fine  crit- 
ter, dat,  by  gosh,  no  mistake. 

From  the  horse  his  eye  wandered  to  us;  when,  slowly 
quitting  his  hold  of  the  bridle,  and  stretching  out  his  head, 
and  stepping  anxiously  and  toautiously  round  to  where  the 
Clockmaker  was  standing,  he  suddenly  pulled  off  his  hat,  and 
throwing  it  up  in  the  air,  uttered  one  of  the  most  piercing 
yells  I  think  I  ever  heard,  and  throwing  himself  upon  the 
ground,  seized  Mr.  Slick  round  the  legs  with  his  arms.  Oh, 
Massa  Sartimy  I  Massa  Sammy !  Oh,  my  Gor ! — only  tink 
old  Scippy  see  you  once  more !  How  you  do,  Massa  Sammy  ?  ^ 
Gor  Ormighty  bless  you !  How  you  do  ?  Why,  who  on  airth 
are  you  ?  said  the  Clockmaker ;  what  onder  the  sun  do  you 
mean  by  actin'  so  like  a  ravin'  distracted  fool?  Get  up  this 
minnit,  and  let  me  see  who  you  be,  or  I'll  give  you  a  sock- 
dologer  in  the  ear  with  my  foot,  as  sure  as  you  are  born. 
Who  be  youy  you  nigger  you?  Oh,  Massa  Sam,, you  no  re- 
collect Old  Scip, — Massa  Siah's  nigger  boy  ?  How's  Massa 
Sy,  and  Missey  Sy,  and  all  our  children,  and  all  our  folks  to 


m 


THV  OLOOKIUXKR. 


our  house  to  home  1  De  dear  little  lily,  de  sweet  little  booty, 
de  little  missy  baby.     Oh,  how  I  do  lub  *em  all  I 

In  this  manner  the  creature  ran  on,  incoherently  asking 
questions,  sobbing,  and  blanoinff  himself  for  having  \e(i  so 
good  a  master,  and  so  comfortable  a  home.  How  is  dat  black 
villain,  dat  Cato  7  he  continued ;-— Massa  no  hang  him  yet  T 
He  is  sold,  said  Mr.  Slick,  and  has  gone  to  New  Orieenf,  I 
guess.  Oh,  I  grad,  upon  my  soul,  I  wery  grad;  then  he 
catdi  it,  de  dam  black  nigger— it  sarve  him  right.  I  hope 
dey  cowskin  him  well— *I  grad  of  divt,~oh  Gor  I  dat  is  good. 
I  tink  I  See  him,  de  ugly  brute.  I  hope  they  lay  it  into  him 
well,  dam  Atiii  /  I  guess  you'd  better  onhamess  Old  Clav, 
and  not  leave  him  standin*  all  day  in  the  sun,  said  Mr.  Slick. 
O  goody  gracy,  yes,  said  the  overjoyed  negro,  dat  I  will,  and> 
rub  him  down  too  till  him  all  dry  as  bone,-— debil  a  wet  hair 
left.  Oh,  only  tink,  Massa  Sammy  Slick,— Masya  Sammy 
Slick, — Scip  see  you  again  I 

The  Clockmaker  accompanied  him  to  the  stpble,  and  there 
gratified  the  curiosity  of  that  affectionate  creature  by  answer- 
ing all  his  inquiries  after  his  master's  family,  and  the  state 
of  the  plantation  and  the  slaves.  It  appears  that  he  had  been 
inveigled  away  by  the  mate  of  a  Boston  vessel  that  was  load- 
ing at  his  master's  estate ;  and,  notwithstanding  all  the  sweet* 
attending  a  state  of  liberty,  was  unhappy  under  the  influence 
of  a  cold  climate,  hard  labour,  and  the  absence  of  all  that 
real-sympathy,  which,  notwithstanding  the  rod  of  the  master, 
exists  nowhere  but  where  there  is  a  community  of  interests. 
He  entreated  Mr.  Slick  to  take  him  into  his  employment,  and 
vowed  eternal  fidelity  to  him  and  his  family  if  he  would ,  re- 
ceive him  as  a  servant,  and  procure  his  manumission  from  his 
master. 

This  arrangement  having  been  effected  to  the  satisfaction 
of  both  parties,  we  proceeded  on  our  ^journey,  leaving  the 
poor  negro  happy  in  the  assurance  that  he  would  be  sent  to 
Sllckville  in  the  autumn.  I  feel  provoked  with  that  black  ras- 
cal, said  Mr.  Slick,  for  bein'  such  a  bom  fool  as  to  run  avray 
from  so  good  a  master  us  Josiah,  for  he  is  as  kind-hearted  a 
critter  as  ever  lived, — that's  a  fact,— and  a  plaguy  easy  man 
to  his  niggers.  I  used  to  tel!  him,  I  guessed  he  was  the  only 
slave  on  his  plantation,  for  he  had  to  see  arter  every  thin' ;  he 
had  a  dreadful  sight  more  to  do  than  they  had.  It  was  all 
work  and  no  play  with  him*  You  forget,  said  I,  that  his  la- 
bour was  voluntary,  and  for  his  own  bendit,  while  that  of  the 


■^.A 


ILAVBRT. 


55 


ooty, 

sking 
e(\  BO 
black 

yett 
en$t  1 
en  he 

hope 

good. 

0  him 
Clay, 
Slick. 

11,  and) 
Bt  hair' 
lammy 

d there 
inswer-  ;  , 
le  Btate^^ 
ad  been 
UB  load*^ 

1  aweett' 
i6ueace 
all  that 
master, 
itereats. 
ent,  and 
)uld ,  re- 
xom  his 

sfaction 
ring  the 

sent  to 
ack  ras- 
n  away 
earted  a 
asy  man 
the  only 
hin' ;  he 

was  all 
t  his  la- 
latoftbe 


negro  is  oompultory,  and  producfivo  of  no  advantage  to  him* 
•oir.  What  do  you  think  of  the  abolition _pr  slavery  in  the 
United  States  t  said  I :  the  interest  of  the  subject  lippears  to 
have  increased  very  much  of  late.  Well,  I  don*t  know,  said 
he, — what  is  your  opinion 't  I  ask,  I  replied,  for  information. 
]t*s  a  considerable  of  a  snarl,  that  question,  said  he ;  I  don*t 
know  as  I  ever  onravelled  it  alt(^ther,  and  I  ain't  gist  quite 
■artain  I  can — it*s  not  so  eosy  as  it  looks.  I  recollect  the 
Elnglish  gall  I  met  atravellin'  in  the  steamboat,  axed  me  that 
same  question.  What  do  you  think  of  slavery,  said  she,  sir  1 
Slavery,  marm,  said  I,  is  only  fit  for  white  lotcr»  (and  I  made 
the  old  ladv  a  scrape  of  the  leg),— only  fit,  said  I,  for  white 
lovejrs  and  black  niggers.  What  an  idea,  said  she,  for  a  free 
man  in  «  land  of  freedom  to  utter  I  How  that  dreadful  politi- 
cal  evil  demoralizes  a  people !  how  it  deadens  our  feelin's, 
bow  it  hardens  the  heart  I  Have  you  no  pity  for  the  blacke  f 
said  she  ;  for  vou  treat  the  subject  with  as  much  levity  as  if, 
to  use  one  of  the  elegant  and  fashionable  phrases  of  this 
country,  you  thought  it  all  **  in  my  eye."  No  marm,  said  I, 
with  a  very  grave  fkce,  I  havenH  no  pity  at  all  for  'em^  not 
the  least  mite  nor  morsel  in  the  world.  How  dreadful,  said 
she,  and  she  looked  ready  to  expire  with  sentiment.  No  feeU 
in'  at  all,  said  I,  marm,  for  the  blaeka^  but  a  great  deal  of 
feelin'  for  the  whitetj  for  instead  of  bein'  all  in  my  eye,  it*s  all 
in  my  noMe^  to  have  them  nasty,  horrid,  fragrant  critters,  ago- 
in'  thro'  the  house  like  scent-bottles  with  the  stoppers  out, 
aparfumin'  of  it  up,  like  skunks — it's  dreadful  i  Oh  I  said  I, 
it  8  enough  to  kill  the  poor  critters.  Phew  I  it  makes  me  sick, 
it  does.  No ;  I  keeps  my  pity  for  the  poor  whites,  for  they 
have  the  worst  of  it  by  a  long  chalk. 

The  constant  contemplation  of  this  painful  subject,  said  she, 
destroys  the  vbion,  and  its  deformities  are  divested  of  their 
horrors  by  their  occurring  so  often  as  to  become  familiar. 
That,  I  said,  Miss,  is  a  just  observation,  and  a  profound  and 
a  cute  one  too— it  is  actilly  founded  in  natur'.  1  know  a  case 
in  pint,  I  said.  What  is  it  1  said  she,  for  she  seemed  mighty 
fond  of  anecdotes  (she  wanted  'em  for  her  book,  I  euess,  for 
travels  without  anecdotes  is  like  a  puddin'  without  plums — all 
dough).  Why,  said  I,  marm,  father  had  ai  English  cow,  a 
pet  cow  too,  and  a  beautiful  critter  she  was,  a  bnndled  short- 
horn ;  he  gave  the  matter  of  eighty  dollars  for  her ; — she  was 

begot  by .    Never  mind  her  pedigree,  said  she.     Well, 

•ays  I,  when  the  great  eclipse  was  (you've  he^rd  tell  how  it 


06 


THE  CLOCKMAKBR. 


frightens  cattle,  haven't  you  1)  Brindle  stared  and  stared  at  it 
so,— she  lost  her  eye-sight,  and  she  was  as  blind  as  a  htA 
ever  afterwards.  I  hope  I  ttiay  be  shot  if  she  wam*t.  Now, 
I  guess,  we  that  see  more  of  slavery  than  you,  are  like  Brin- 
dle;  we  have  stared  at  it  so  long  we  can't  see  it  as  other  folks 
do.  You  are  a  droll  man,  said  she,  very  droll ;  but  seriously, 
now,  Mr.  Slick,  do  you  not  think  these  unfortunate  fellow- 
critters,  our  sable  brothers,  if  emancipated,  educated,  and 
civilized,  are  capable  of  as  much  refinement  and  as  high  a 
degree  of  polish  as  the  whites  ?  Well,  'said  I,  joking  apart, 
miss,— there's  no  doubt  on  it.  I've  been  considerable  down 
South  atradin'. among  the  whites, — and  a  kind-hearted,  hospi- 
table*  liberal  race  o"  men  they  be,  as  ever  I  was  among— 
generous,  frank,  manly  iblks^  Well,  I  seed  a  good  deal  of  the 
niggers,  too ;  it  couldn't  be  otherwise.  I  must  say  your  con- 
clusion is  a  just  one, — I  could  give  you  several  instances ;  but 
there  is  one  in  pitickelar  that  settles  the  question ;  I  seed  jt 
myself  with  my  own  eyes  to  Charleston,  South  Car.  Now, 
m  said  she,  that's  what  I  like  to  hear ;  give  me  facts,  said  she, 
for  I  am  no  visionary,  Mr.  Slick ;  I  don't  build  up  a  theory, 
and  then  go  alookin  for  facts  to  support  it ;  but  gather  facts 
candidly  and  impartially,  and  then  coolly  and  logically  draw 
the  inferences.  Now  tell  me  this  instance  which  you  think 
conclusive,  for  nothin'  interests  us  English  so  much  as  what 
don't  consarn  us ;  our  West  Indgy  emancipation  has  worked 
so  well,  and  improved  our  islands  so  much,  we  are  enchanted 
with  the  very  word  emancipation ;  it  has  a  charm  for  English 
ears,  beyond  any  thing  you  can  conceive. — Them  Islands  unll 
have  spontaneous  production  afore  long.  But  the  refinement 
and  polish  of  these  interestin'  critters  the  blacks, — your  story 
if  you  please,  sir.  ' 

1  have  a  younger  brother,  Miss,  said  I,  that  lives  down  to 
Charleston ; — he's  a  lawyer  by  trade — Squire  Josiah  Slick  j 
he  is  a  considerable  of  a  literary  character.  He's  well  known 
in  the  great  world  as  the  author  of  the  Historical,  Statistical, 
and  Topographical  account  of  Cuttyhunck,  in  five  volumes ; 
a  work  that  has  raised  the  reputation  of  American  genius 
among  foreign  nations  amazin',  I  assure  you.  He's  quite  a 
self-taught  author  too.  I'll  give  you  a  letter  of  introduction  to 
him.  Me,  said  she,  adrawin'  up  her  neck  like  a  swan. 
You  needn't  look  so  scared,  said  I,  marm,  for  he  is  a  mar- 
ried man,  and  has  one  white  wife  and  four  white  children, 
fourteen  black  concu I  wanted  to  hear,  sir,  said  she,  ouit^ 


\ 


SLAVMRV. 


fi7 


iown  to 
Slick  I 
known 
Ulstical, 
flumes; 
genius 
I  quite  a 
lotion  to 
swan, 
a  mar> 
lildren, 
|e,  Quit^ 


'•ntppisMyt  oT  the  negroes,  and  not  of  your  brother  an<]  his 
domestio  arrangements  Well,  marni,  said  I ;  one  day  there 
|KM  A  dinner«party  to  Josiah's,  and  be  made  the  same  remark 
you  didf  and  instanced  the  rich  black  marcbant  of  Philadei- 
phiat  which  position  was  contradicted  by  some  other  gentle- 
men there ;  so  'Siah  offered  to  bet  one  thousand  dollars  ho 
could  produce  ten  black  gentlemen,  who  should  be  allowed,  by 
good  judges,  to  be  more  polished  than  any  like  number  of  whites 
that  could  be  selected  in  the  town  of  Charleston.  Well,  the  bet 
was  taken,  the  money  staked,  and  a  note  made  of  the  tarms. 
Next  day  at  ten  o^clock,  the  time  fixed,  Josiab  had  his  t&k 
niggers  nicelv  dressed,  paraded  out  in  the  streets  a  facin*  <^ 
the  sun,  and  brought  his  friends  and  the  umpires  to  decide  the 
beti  Well,  when  they  got  near  *em,  they  put  their  hands  to 
their  eyea  and  looked  down  to  the  ground,  and  the  tears  ran 
down  their  cheeks  like  any  thing.  Whose  cheeks  ?  said  she ; 
blacks  or  whites  ?  this  is  very  interestin'.  Oh,  the  whites,  to 
be  sure,  said  I.  Then,  said  she,  I  will  record  that  mark  <^ 
feelin'  with  great  pleasure — ^I'U  let  the  world  know  it.  It  dora 
honour  to  their  heads  and  hearts.  But  not  to  their  eyes,  tho*, 
•aid  I ;  they  swore  they  couldn't  see  a  bit.  What  the  devil 
have  vou  got  there,  Slick  ?  says  they ;  it  has  put  our  eyes 
out :  damn  them,  how  they  shine  I  they  look  like  black  japan- 
ned tea-trays  in  the  sun — it's  biindin' — ^it's  the  devii,  that's  a 
Act.  Are  vou  satisfied  ?  said  'Sy.  Satisfied  of  what !  says 
they ;  satisfied  with  bein'  as  blind  as  buzzards,  eh  ?  Satisfied 
of  the  high  polish  niggers  are  capable  of,  said  Josiah :  why 
sfaouldnH  nigger  hide,  with  lots  of  Day  and  Martin's  blackia* 
on  it,  take  as  good  a  polish  as  cow  hide,  eh  f  Oh  lord  !  if 
you*d  aheerd  what  a  roar  of  larfler  there  was,  for  all  Charles- 
ton was  there  a'most ;  what  a  hurrain'  and  shoutin' :  it  was 
grand  fUn.  I  went  up  and  shook  hands  with  Josiah,  for  I 
always  liked  a  joke  from  a  boy.  Well  done,  'Sy,  says  I ; 
you've  put  the  leake  into  'em  this' hitch  rael  complete;  its 
grand  1  But,  says  b^,  don't  look  so  pleased,  Sam  ;  they  are 
cussed  vexed,  and  if  we  crow  I'll  have  to  fight  every  one  on 
*em,  that's  sartin,  for  they  are  plaguy  touchy  them  Southern- 
ers ;  fisht  for  nothin'  a'most  But,  Sam,  said  he,  Connecti(!ut 
ain't  a  Dad  school  for  a  boy  arter  all,  is  it  ?  I  could  tell  you 
fifty  such  stories.  Miss,  says  I.  She  drew  up  rather  stately 
Thank  you,  sir,  said  she,  that  will  do ;  I  am  not  sure  whether 
it  is  a  joke  of  your  brother's  or  a  hoax  of  your'n,  but  whose 
ever  it  is,  it  has  more  practical  wit  than  feelin'  in  it. 


186 


THB  OLOGKKAKER. 


The  truth  b,  said  the  Clockinaker,  nothin*  raises  m^  dander 
more,  than  to  hear  English  folks  apd  our  Eastern  citizens 
atalkin*  about  this  subject  that  they  don*t  understand,  and 
have  nothin'  to  do  with,  If  such  critters  will  gb  down  South 
a  meddtin*  with  thinss  tha*^  don't  consarn  'ein«  they^  deserve 
what  they  catch.  I  don't  mean  to  say  I  approve  of  lynchin', 
because  that's  horrid;  but  when  a  feller  gets  himself  kicked, 
.«fr  his  nose  pulled,  and  lams  how  the  cowskin  feels,  I  don't 
pity  him  one  morsel.  Our  folks  won't  bear  tbmperin'  with, 
as  you  Colonists  do ;  we  won't  stand  no  nonsense.  The  sub- 
ject  is  gist  a  complete  snarl ;  it's  all  tangled,  and  twisted,  and 
knotted  so,  old  Nick  himself  wouldn't  onravel  it.  What  with 
private  rights,  public  rights,  and  State  rights,  feelin',  expe- 
diency, and  public  safety,  it's  a  considerable  of  a  tough  iiiib- 
ject*  The  truth  is,  I  ain't  master  of  it  myself.  I'm  no  book 
man,  I  never  was  to  college,  and  my  time  has  been  meetly 
spent  -in  the  clock  trade  and  tooth  business,  and  all  I  know  is 
just  a  little  I've  picked  up  by  the  way.  The  tooth  businesa, 
said  I ;  what  is  that  ?  do  you  mean  to  say  you  are  a  dentist  ? 
No,  said  he,  laughing;  the  tooth  business  is  pickin'^up  expe- 
nence.  Whenever  a  feller  is  considerable  cute  with  us,  we 
say  be  has  cut  his  eye  teeth,  he's  tolerable  sharp ;  and  the 
study  of  this  I  call  the  /tooth  business.  Now  I  ain't  able  to 
lay  it  all  down  what  I  think  as  plain  as  brother  Josiah  can, 
but  I  have  an  idea  there's  a  good  deal  in  name,  and  that 
slavery  is  a  word  that  frightens  more  than  it  hurts.  It's  some 
o'  the  branches  or  grafts  of  slavery  that  want  cuttin'  off. 
Take  away  corporal  punishment  from  the  masters  and  give  it 
to  the  law,  forbid  separatin'  families  and  the  right  to  compel 
marriage  and  other  connexions,  and  you  leave  slavery  nothin' 
more  than  sarvitude  in  name,  and  somethin'  quite  as  good 
in  fact.  " 

Every  critter  must  work  in  this  world,  and  a  labourer  is  a 
slave ;  but  the  labourer  only  gets  enough  to  live  on  from  day 
to  day,  while  the  slave  is  tended  in  infancy,  sickness,  and  old 
agej  and  has  spare  time  enough  given  him  to  aim  a  good  deal 
too.  A  married  woman,  if  you  come  to  that,  is  a  slave,  call 
her  what  you  will,  wife,  woman,  angel,  termegant,  or  devil, 
she's  a  slave ;  and  if  she  happens  to  get  the  upper  hand,  the 
husband  is  a  slave,  and  if  he  don't  lead  a  worse  life  than  any 
black  nigger,  when  he's  under  petticoaf  government,  then  my 
Jiame  is  not  Sam  Slick.  I'm  no  advocate  of  slavery,  squire* 
nor  are  any  of  our  folks ;  it's  bad  for  the  niggers,  worse  lor 


% 


•LAVBRT.^1^' 


aiider 
tixens  . 
I,  and 
South 
Bsarve 
)chm% 
ucked, 
Idon*t 
'with, 
le  fluh- 
sd,  and 
at  with 
',  expe- 

10  book 

mostly 
tnowia 
usineso, 
dentist? 
ipexpe- 
1  us,  we 
and  the 

able  to 
ah  can, 
md  that 
t's  some 
ttin*  off. 
d  give  it 

compel 
jr  nothin' 

as  good 

iTCT  b  a 
irom  day 
,  and  old 
;ood  deal 
ave,  call 
or  devil, 
land,  the 
ihan  any 
then  my 
,  squire, 
rorae  fi» 


ntlM  masters,  and  a  cuss  to  any  country ;  but  we  have  got  it, 
-and  the  question  is,  what  are  we  to  do  with  it ?  Ijet  them  an- 
( awer  that  know,— -I  donU  pretend  to  be  able  to. 

The  subject  was  a  disagreeable  one,  but  it  was  oi  striking 
^peculiarity  of  the^  Clockmaker's,  that  he  never  dwelt  long 
*upoQ  any  thing  that  was  not  a  subject  of  national  boast ;  he 
therefore  very  dexterously,  shifted  both  the  subject  and  the 
scene  of  it  to  Ekigland,  so  as  to  furnish  him  with  a  retort,  of 
which  he  was  at  all  times  exceedingly  fond.     I  have  heerd 
tell,  said  he,  that  you  British  have  Emancipated  your  niggers. 
Yes,  said  I,  thank  God  i  slavery  exists  not  in  the  British  em- 
,  pire.    Well,  I  take  some  credit  to  myself  for  that,  said  the 
Clockmaker ;  it  was  me  that  sot  that  agoin'  any  way.    You  I 
Mid  I,  with  the  most  unfeigned  astonishment; — you!  how 
could  yoVi  by  any  possibility  be  instrumental  in  that  great 
national  act?    Vc'*   VH  tell  you,  said  he,  tho'  it's  a  consider- 
able of  a  long  sto.  When  I  returned  from  Poland,  via 
.London,  in  the  he  *       .^ckelation  of  Jabish  Green,  I  went 
down  to  Sheffield  to  execute  a  commission ;  I  had  to  bribe 
some  master  workmen  to  go  out  to  America,  and  if  I  didnH 
fix  'em  it's  a  pity.     The  critters  wouldn't  go  at  no  rate,  with- 
.out  themost  extravt^jint  onreasonable  wages,  that  no  busi- 
.ness  could  afford  no  how.   Well,  there  was  nothin'  to  be  done 
but  to  agree  to  it ;  but  things  worked~right  in  the  long  run : 
our  folks  soon  larnt  the  business,  and  then  they  had  to  work 
for  half  nothin',  or  starve.     It  don't  do  to  drive  too  hard  a 
bargain  always. 

When  I  was  down  there  a  gentleman  called  on  me  one 
«rternoon,  one  John  Canter  by  name,  and  says  he,  Mr.  Slick, 
I've  called  to  see  you  to  make  some  inquiries  about  America ; 
me  and  my  friends  think  of  en>igratfn'  there.  Happy,  says 
I,  to  give  you  any  information  in  my  power,  sir,  and  a  soci- 
able dish  o'  chat  vk  what  I  do  like  most  amazin', — it's  kind  o' 
paiteral  to  me  talkin'  is.  So  we  sot  down  and  chatted  away 
about  Qur  great  nation  all  the  arternoon  and  evenin',  and  him 
imd  me  got  as  thick  as  two  thieves  afore  we  parted. — If  you 
will  be  to  home  to-morrow  evenin',  says  he,  I  will  call  again, 
if  you  will  give  me  leave.     Sartin,  says  I,  most  happy. 

Well,  next  evenin'  he  came  ag'in ;  and  in  the  course  of 
talk,  t^ys  he^  I  was  born  a  quaker,  Mr.  Slick.  Plenty  of  'em 
with  us,  says  I,  and  well  to  do  in  the  world  too, — considerable 
Stiff  folks  in  their  way  them  quakers, — you  can't  no  more 
move  'em  than  a  church  steeple.    I  like  the  quakers,  too,  says 


^'■^■r._ 


liO  THB  ObOOKMAKBR. 

.  I,  for  there  are  worse  folks  than  them  agoin*  in  the  world  by -a 

Joi^  chalk.     Well,  lately  I've  dissented  from  'em,  says  he*-—  ^ 

Curious  that  too,  says  I.     I  was  a  thinkin'  the  beaT«r  didn't 

^  B^iade  the  inner  man  quite  as  much  as  I  have  tieed  it :  but, 

vsays  I,  I  like  dissent;  it  shows  that  a  man  has  both  a  mind 

;^^nd  a  conscience  too ;  if  he  hadn't  a  mind  he  couldn't  distent, 

^,find  if  he  hadn't  a  conscience  he  wouldnH ;  a  man,  therefore, 

^Ivho  quits  his  cbtirch  always  stands  a  notch  higher  with  me 

(than  a  stupid  obstinate  creature  that  sticks  to  it  'qpiuse  be  was 

born  and  brought  up  in  it,  and  his  father  belonged  to  it— 

there's  no  sense  in  that.     A  quaker  is  a  very  set  man  in  bis 

way ;  a  dissenter  therefore  from  a  quaker  must  be  what  I  call 

a  considerable  of  a -obstinate  man,  says  he,  larfin*.     No, 

says  I,  not  gist  exactly  that,  but  he  must  carry  a  pretty  to^ra- 
ble  stilT  upper  lip,  tho' — ^that's  a  fact.  ;i<V ' 

Weil,  says  he,  Mr.  Slick,  4his  country  is  an  aristocratic 
country,  a  very  aristocratic  country  indeed,  and  it  taint  easy 
for  a  man  to  push  himself  when  he  has  no  great  friends  or 
family  interest ;  besides,  if  a  man  has  some  little  talent-Hsa3rs 
he,  (and  he  squeezed  his  chin  between  his  fore-finger  and 
thumb,  as  much  as  to  say,  tho'  I  say  it  that  should'nt  say  it, 
.1  have  a  very  tolerable  share  of  it  at  any  rate,)  he  has  no 
.^portuuity  of  risin'  by  bringin'  himself  afore  the  publio. 
Every  avenue  is  filled.  A  man  has  no  chance  to  come  for« 
ward, — money  won't  do  it,  for  that  I  have, — talent  won't  'do 
it,  for  the  opportunity  is  wantin'.  I  believe  I'll  go  to  the 
States,  where  all  men  are  equal,  and  one  has  neither  the 
^trouble  of  risin'  nor  the  vexation  of  fallin'.  Then  you'd  like 
to  come  forward  in  public  life  here,  would  you,  said  I,  if  yoa 
had  a  chance?  I  would,  says  he;  that's  the  truth.  Give  me 
your  hand  then,  says  I,  my  friend,  I've  got  an  idea  that  will 
make  your  fortin.  I'll  put  you  in  a  track  that  will  make 
a.  man  of  you  first,  and  a  nobleman  afterwards,  as  sure  tA 
thou  says  thee.  Walk  into  the  niggers,  says  I,  and  they'll 
help  you  to  walk  into  the  whites,  and  they'll  make  you  walk 
into  parliament.  Walk  into  the  niggers !  says  he ;  and  he  sot 
and  stared  like  a  cat  awatchin'  of  a  mouse^hole;-— walk  into 
the  niggers ! — what's  that  ?  I  don't  Understand  you.-— Take 
op  'mancipation,  says  I,  and  work  it  up  till  it  works  you  up ; 
call  meetin's  and  make  speeches  to  'em ; — get  up  societies  and 
make  reports  to  'em ; — get  up  petitions  to  parliament,  and  get 
signers  to  'em.  Enlist  the  women  on  your  side,  of  all  ages, 
facts,  and  denominations.    Excite  'em  first  tho',  for  "sromm 


flbAVSHT.--^- 


ei 


lie.— ^ 
iidn't 
t  but, 

mind 
Ment, 
'efore, 
th  me 
le  was 
0  U— 
in  bis  - 

I  call 

No, 

tol^- 

ocratic 
it  eaay 
(ods  or 
— says 
;er  and 
,  say  it, 
bas  no 
publiid. 
ne  fof- 
on't  do 
to  tbe 
her  tbe 
d  like 
if  yoo 
rive  me 
bat  wtU 
make 
sure  as 
th^yni 
)U  walk 
i  besot 
Ik  into 
—Take 
^ou  ap ; 
ies  and 
and  get 
11  ages, 
rsromwi 


iblks  are  poor  tools  till  you  get  'era  up :  but  excite  them,  and 
tbeyMl  go  the  whole  figur,'— -wake  up  the  whole  coi|ntry. 
It's  a  grand  subject  for  it, — broken  hearted  slaves  killin*  them- 
Helves  in  despair,  or  dyip'  a  lingeriu'  death, — task>master*s 
whip  acuttin'  into  their  flesh, — bumin'  suns,— days  o'  toil— 
Aights  o'  grief — pestilential  rice-grounds — chains — starvation 
—misery  and  death,— grand  figur's  them  for  onUry,  and 
jnake  8(]4endid  speeches,  if  well  put  together. 

Says  you,  such  is  the  spirit  of  British  freedom,  that  tbe 
moment  a  slave  touches  our  sea-girt  shores,  bis  spirit  bursts 
its  bonds;  he  stands  Emancipated,  disenthralled,  and  liberated ; 
bis  chains  fall  right  off,  and  he  walks  in.  all  the  naked  majesty 
of  a  great  big  black  he  nigger !  It  sounds  Irish  that,  and 
Josiah  used  to  say  they  come  up  to  the  Americans  a*most  in 
pure  eloquence.  It's  grand,  it's  sublime  that,  you  may  depenr.. 
When  you  get  *em  up  to  the  right  pitch,  says  you,  we  have 
no  power  in  parliament;  we  must  have  abolition  memberti. 
Certainly,  says  they,  and  who  so  fit  as  the  good,  the  pious,- 
the  christian-like  John  Canter ;  up  you  are  put  then,  and 
bundled  free  gratis,  head  over  heels,  into  parliament.  When 
you  are  in  the  House  o'  Commons,  at  it  ag'in,  blue-jacket,  for 
Ufe.^-  !  Some  good  men,  some  weak  men,  and  a  most  a  plaguy 
sight  of  hypocritical  men  will  join  you.  Cant  carries  sway 
always  now.  A  large  party  in  the  llouse,  and  a  wappin' 
lai^e  party  out  o'  the  house,  must  be  kept  quiet,  conciliated, 
or  whatever  the  right  word  is,  and  John  Canter  is  made  Lord 
X^avender. 

I  see,  I  see,  said  he ;  a  glorious  prospect  of  doin'  good,  of 
aidin'  my  fellow  mortals,  of  bein'  useful  in  my  generation.  I 
hope  for  a  more  imperishable  reward  than  a  coronet, — the 
approbation  of  my  own  conscience.  Well,  well,  says  I  to 
myself,  if  you  ain't  the  most  impudent  as  :veli  as  pharisaical 
villain  that  ever  went  onhung,  then  I  never  seed  a  finished 
rascal,— rthat's  all.  He  took  my  advice,  and  went  fight  at  it, 
.$ooth  and  nail ;  worked  day  and  night,  and  mode  a'most  a 
deuce  of  a  stir.  His  name  was  in  every  paper ; — a  meetin' 
held  here  to-day, — that  great  and  good  man  John  Canter  in 
the  chair ;— «  meetin'  held  there  to-morrow, — addressed  most 
eloquently  by  that  philanthropist,  philosopher,  and  Christian, 
John  Canter  ,*— a  society  formed  in  one  place,  John  Canter 
secretary ; — a  society  formedyin  another  place,  John  Canter 
president :— John  Canter  every  where ; — ^if  you  went  to  Lon- 
don, he  banded  you  a  subscription  list, — ^if  you  wentto  Brigh- 


VI  THE  (HiOdUUKSR. 

'U^t  h«  met  y«ia  with  a  petition,— if  you  went  to  Sheffield,  he 
■filled  your^  pockets  with  tracts  ;-^he  was  a  complete  jack*»*- 
lantern,  here  and  there,  and  every  where.  Tly  last  1  heerd 
trill  of  him  was  in  pariiamient,  and  agoin*  out  govemor>genenU 
of  some  of  the  cdonies.  I've  seen  a  good  maiSy  sdperfine 
saints  in  my  time,  squire,  but  this  critter  was  the  nsost  upper* 
crust  one  I  erer  seed, — he  did  beat  all. 

Yes,  the  English  desarve  some  credit  no  doubt ;  but  when 
you  Substract  electioneering  party  spirit,  hippocracy,  ambition, 
ministerial  flourishes,  and  all  the  i|ndertow  causes  that  ope^ 
rated  in  this  work,  which  at  best  was  but  clumsily  contrived, 
iind  bunglin'ly  executed,  it  don't  leave  so  much  to  brag  on 
irter  all,  does  it  now? 

'       •  •  ^  If 

■  ■      -  ^ " .;». 


TALKING  LATIN.  * 

Do  you  see  them  are  country^lls  there,  said  Mr.  Slick, 

how  they  are  tricked  out  in  silks,  and  touched  off  with  lace 

and  nbtKm  to  the  nine's,  a  mincin'  along  with  parasols  in  their 

Bands,  as  if  they  were  afearM  the  sun  would  melt  them  like 

'  wax,  or  take  the  colour  out  of  their  face,  like  a.  printed  cotton 

'  blind  t    Well,  that's  gist  the  ruin  of  this  country.    It  ain't 

{overty,  the  blue  noses  have  to  fear,  for  that  they  neednH 
now  without  they  choose  to  make  acquaintance  with  it ;  but 
it's  gentility.  They  go  the  whole  hog  19  this  country,  you 
nmy  depend.  They  ain't  content  to  appear  what  they  be,  but 
want  io  be  what  they  ain't ;  they  live  too  extravagant,  and 
dress  too  extravagant,  and  won't  do  what's  the  only  thing  that 
will  supply  this  extravagance :  that  is,  be  industrious.  Gist 
go  into  one  of  the  meetin'  houses,  back  here  in  the  woods, 
where  there  ought  to  be  nothin'  but  homespun  cloth,  and  home- 
hiade  stuf&  and  bonnets,  and  see  the  leghorns  and  pelmettora, 
and  silks  and  shalleys,  morenos,  gauzes,  and  blonds,  assem- 
bled there»,  enough  to  buy  the  best  farm  in  the  settlement. 
There's  somethin'  not  altogether  gist  right  in  this;  Atodthe 
wo?st  of  these  habits  is,  they  ruinate  the  young,  ^Iks,  and 
they  grow  up  as  bie  gon^ys  as  the  old  ones,  and  eend  in  the 
iame  way,  by  bein^half-starVed  at  last ;  there's  a  ialie  pride, 
'ftdse  feelin',  and  fklse  edication  heife.    I  mind  once,  1  Iras 


lAUUna  LATUI. 


69 


4oim  tbifl  way  (•  Caimuio*  •  veodiu'  o'  my  clocki,  and  who 
•bolild  I  ovfililM  but  Nabal  Onen,  apokin*  along  in  his 
wagon,  balf-loadod  with  notions  from  the -retail  shops,  at  the 
crass  roadft  Why«  Nabal,  said  I,  are  you  agoin*  to  set  up  for 
a  nierchant,  for  I  mm  youVe  got  a  considerable  of  an  assort- 
iQcmt  of  goods  thefi?  you*v«  got  ^xy^  o*  them  to  make  a 
pedlar's  tortin  Almost.    Who's  r     ^  uw      hat^s  to  pay  now  t 

Why,  (Hmd  81i6k,  said  he,  bow  do  you  do?  who'd  a 
thought  o'  sasin  you  hero  7  Y6u  see  my  old  lady,  said  he, 
is  a^oin*  for  to  ||v«  our  Arabella,  that's  gist  returned  from 
bordm'  sobool  to  llalifox,  a  let  oiT  to  night.  Most  all  the  bet- 
termost  folks  in  tb«se  parts  are  axed,  and  the  doctor,  the  law- 
yer, and  tbt  ministor  is  invited ;  it's  no  skim-milk  story,  I  do 
assun  you,  but  upper  crust,  real  jam.  Ruth  intends  to  do  the 
thing  handsoffle.  She  says  she  don't  do  it  oflen,  but  when  she 
does,  she  likes  to  go  the  whole  figur',  and  do  it  geuteel.  If 
she  hasn't  A  show  of  dough«nuts  and  prasarves,  and  apple 
sarse  and  punkin  pies  and  sarsages,  it's  a  pity  ,*  it's  taken  all* 
hands  of  us,  the  eld  lady  ao4  bcr  i^alls  too,  besides  the  helps, 
the  best  part  of  a  week  past  prepann'.  I  say  nothin',  but  it's 
most  turned  the  bouae  inside  out,  a  settin'  up  things  in  this 
room,  or  toatin'  'em  out  of  that  into  t'other,  and  all  in  such  a 
conflustrigation,  that  I'm  glad  when  they  send  me  of  an  arrand 
to  be  out  of  the  wayt  It's  luckv  them  harrycanes  don't  come 
ev^y  dayf  for  they  do  scatter  things  about  at  a  great  rate,  all 
topsy*turv^  liker-that'i  sartin.  Won't  you  call  in  and  see 
us  to  nigbtf  Mr.  Slick  7  folks  will  be  amazin'  glad  to  see  you, 
and  I'll  shew  you  some  as  prittv  lookin' galls  to  my  mind,  in 
our  settlement  heref.  as  you'll  see  in  Connecticut,  I  know. 
Well,  sayi  it  I  don't  care  if  I  do ;  there's  nothin'  I  like  mQre 
nor  a  frolle,  and  the  dear  Utti<9  critters  I  do  like  to  be  among 
'em  toor-tbat'i  sartin. 

In  the  eveain'  I  drives  over  to  Nabal's,  and  arter  puttie* 
up  (ny  beaet,  Old  Clav,  I  goes  into  the  house,  and  sure  enough, 
there  they  waa  as  big  as  life.  The  young  ladies  asittin'  qn 
one  side,  and  the  men  a  stendin'  up  by  the  door,  and  chatter- 
in'  away  in  great  good  humour.  There  was  a  young  chap  a 
h(4dia'  forth  to  the  men  about  politics ;  he  was  a  young  trader, 
set  up  by  some  merchant  in  Halifax,  to  ruinate  the^  settlement 
with  good-for*nothin'  trumpery  they  hadn't  no  occasion  for, — 
«hock  foil  of  conceit  and  afiectation,  and  beginnin'  to  feel  his 
way  with  the  yard-stick  to  assembly  already. 
^  Great  dandy  was  Mr.  Bobbin ;  he  looked  gist  as  If  he  had 


^  THB  OLOGKMAKBR. 

/ 

came  out  of  the  tailor's  hands,  spic  and  span ;  put  out  his  lip* 
and  drew  down  his  brow,  as  if  he  had  a  trick  o*  thinkin  some' 
times— nodded  Ifia  head  and  winked,  as  if  he  knew  more  ihan 
he'd  like  to  tell — talked  of  talenf  auite  glib,  but  disdainful,  a« 
if  he  would'nt  touch  some  folks  with  a  pair  of  tongs;  a  great 
scholar  too  was  Mr-  Bobbin,  ahvavs  spoke  dictionary,  and 
used  heavy  artillery  words.  I  don  t  entertain  no  manner  of 
doubt  if  government  would  take  him  at  his  own  valuation, 
he'd  be  found  to  be  a  man  o'  great  worth.  I  never  liked  the 
critter,  and  always  gave  him  a  poke  when  I  got  a  chance.  He 
was  ato^n  meetin'  orator;  grand  school  that  to  larn  public 
ispeakin',  squire ;  a  nice  muddy  pool  for  young  ducks  to-larn. 
to  swim  in.  He  was  a  grand  hand  to  read  lecture,  in  blacks 
smiths'  shops,  at  vandues,  and  the  like,  and  talked  politics  over 
his  counter  at  a  great  size.  He  looked  big  and  talked  big, 
and  altogether  was  a  considerable  big  man  in  his  own  conceit. 
He  Idealt  in  reform.  He  had  ballot  tape,  suffrage  ribbon,  radi* 
*cal  lace,  no  tithe  hats,  and  beautiful  pipes  with  a  democrat's 
head  on  'em,  and  the  maxim,  "  No  sinecure,"  under  it.  Every 
thing  had  its  motto.  No,  sir,  said  he,  to  some  one  he  was  a 
talkin'  to  as  I  came  in,  this  country  is  attenuated  to  pulveriza* 
tion  by  its  aristocracy — a  proud  haughty  aristocracy ;  a  cor* 
rupt,  a  lignious,  and  a  lapidinous  aristocracy ;  put  them  into  a 
parcel,  entelope  'em  with  a  panoply  of  paper,  tie  them  up  and 

?ut  them  into  the  scales,  and  they  will  be  found  wantin'. 
'here  is  not  a  pound  of  honesty  among  'em,  nay  not  an 
ounce,  nay  not  a  penny  weight.  The  article  is  wanting — it 
is  not  in  their  catalogue.  The  word  never  occurs  either  in 
their  order,  or  in  their  invoice.  They  wont  bear  the  inspec- 
tion,— they  are  not  marchantable, — ^nothin'  but  refuse. 

If  there  is  no  honesty  in  the  market,  says  I,  why  don't  you 
import  some,  and  retail  it  out  1  you  might  make^some  con- 
siderable profit  on  it,  and  do  good  to  the  country  too ;  it  would 
be  quite  patriotic  that.  I'm  glad  to  see,  says  I,  one  honest 
man  talkin'  politics  any  how,  for  there's  one  thing  IVe  obsarved 
in  the  course  of  my  experience,  whenever  a  man  suspects  all 
the  world  that's  above  him,  of  roguery,  he  must  be  a  pretty 
Considerable  superfine  darned — (rogue  himself,  whispered 
some  critter  standin'  by,  loud  enough  for  all  on  *em  to  hear, 
and  to  set  the  whole  party  achokin'  with  larfter) — judge  of 
the  article  himself,  says  I.  Now,  says  J,  if  you  do  import 
it,  gist  let  us  know  how  you  sell  it, — by  the  yard,  the  quarts 
or  the  pound)  will  you  1  for  it  ain't  set  down  in  any^tradin'  tables 


TALKING  LATIH. 


06 


Pye  weOt  whether  it  is  for  long  measure,  dry  measure,  or 
weiffht. 

W«U,  sfiys  he,  atryin*  to  larf,  as  if  he  diduH  take  the  hint, 
IMl  let  you  know,  for  it  might  be  some  use  to  you  perhaps,  in 
the  clock  tryide.  May  be,  you'll  be  a  customer,  as  well  as  the 
aristocrats^  Qut  how  is  clocks  now  7  said  he,  and  he  gave 
his  neighbour  a  nudge  with  his  elbow,  as  much  as  to  say, 
I  guess  it*s  piy  turn  now, — how  do  clocks  go  7  Like  some 
voung  country  traders  I've  seen  in  my  time,  says  I ;  don't  go 
long  afore  they  are  run  down,  and  have  to  be  wound  up  again. 
They  are  considerable  better  too,  like  them,  for  bein'  kept  in 
I  their  own  place,  and  plaguy  ajit  to  go  wrong  when  movea  out 
of  it.  Thinks  I  to  myself,  take  your  change  out  o'  that, 
young:  man,  will  you  7  forli'd  heerd  tell  the  goney  had  said 
they  had  cheats  enough  in  Nova  Scotia,  without  havin'  Yankee 
clockmakers  to  put  new  wrinkles  on  their  horns.  Why,  you 
are  quite  witty  this  evenin',  said  he ;  you've  been  masticatin' 
mustard,  I  apprehend ;  I  was  always  fond  of  it  from  a  boy, 
said  I,  aind  it's  a  pity  the  blue  noses  didn't  chew  a  little  more 
of  it,  I  tell  y^ ;  it  would  help  'em,  p'raps,  to  disgest  their  joket 
better,  I  estimate.  Why,  I  didn't  mean  no  o^nce,  said  he, 
I  do  assure  you.  Nor  I  neither,  said  I ;  I  hope  you  didn't 
take  it  any  way  personal. 

Says  I,  friend  Bobbin,  you  have  talked  a  considerable  hard 
o*  nie  afore  now,  and  made  out  the  Yankees,  inost  as  big 
rogues  as  your  great  men  be  ;  but  I  never  thought  any  thing, 
bard  of  it;  I  only  said,  says  I,  he  puts  me  in  mind  of  Mrs. 
Squire  Idiabod  Birch.  What's  that  7  says  the  folks.  Why, 
says  I,  Marm  Birch'  was  acomin'  down  stairs  one  momin* 
airly,  and  what  should  she  see  but  the  8table«help  akissin'  of 
the  cook  in  the  comer  of  the  entry,  and  she  afendin'  off  like 
a  brave  one.  You  good-for-nothin'  hussy,  said  Marm  Birch, 
get  out  of  my  house  this  minit :  I  won't  have  no  such  onde- 
cenfitarryin's  on  here,  on  no  account.  You  horrid  critter, 
get  out  6'  my  sight ;  and  as  for  you,  said  she  to  the  Irishman, 
don't  you  never  dare  to  show  your  ugly  face  here  jBgin.  I 
wonder  you  ain't  ashamed  of  yourselves, — both  on  you 
begone;  away  with  you,  bag  and  baggage ! 

Hullo  I  says  the  squire,  as  he  follerd  down  in  his  dressin* 
gownd  and  slippers ;  hullo  I  says  he,  what's  all  this  touss 
about  7  Nothin',  says  Pat,  ascratchin' of  his  head,  nothin', 
your  honour,— K>nly  the  mistress  says  she'll  have  no  kissin*  in 
the  house,  but  what  she  does  herself.    The  cook  had  my  jack- 


00  THB  CLOCKMAEim. 

knife  in  her  pocket,  your  honour,  and  wouldn't-  give  it  to  mc, 
but  sot  off  and  ran  here  with  it,  and  I  arter  her,  and  eattght 
her.  I  gist  put  my  hand  in  her  pocket  promisc'ously  to  tfirch 
ibr  it, — and  when  I  found  it  I  was  tryin*  to  kiss  her  by  way 
of  forfeit  like,  and  that*s  the  long  and  short  o*  the  matter. 
The  mistress  says  she'll  let  no  one  but  herself  in  the  hotise  do 
that  same.  Tut, — tut, — tut  I  says  the  squire,  and  larfed 
right  out ;  both  on  you  go  and  attend  to  your  work  then,  alad 
let's  hear  no  more  about  it.  Now^  you  are  like  Marm  Birch, 
Mend  Bobbin,  says  Ir-you  think  nobody  has  a  right  to  be 
honest  but  yourself;  but  there  is  more  o'  that  arter'all  agoin* 
in  the  world,  than  you  have  any  notion  of,  I  tell  you. 

Feelin'/a  hand  on  my  arm,  I  turns  round,  and  who  should 

1  see  but  Marm  Green.  Dear  me,  said  she,  is  that  you,  Mr. 
Slick  ?  I've  been  looking'  all  about  for  you  for  ever  so  long. 
How  do  you  do  ? — I  hope  I  see  you  quite'  well.  Hearty  as 
brandy,  marm,  says  I,  tho'  not  quite  as  strong,  and  a  great 
deal  heartier  for  a  seein'  of  you.  How  be  you  ?  Reasonable 
well,  an^  stirrin',  says  she :  I  try  to  keep  amovin' ;  but  I  shall 
give  the  charge  of  things  soon  to  Arabella :  have  you  seen 
her  yet  ?  No,  says  I,  I  havn't  had  the  pleasure  since  her 
return  :  but  I  hear  folks  say  she  is  a'most  splendid  fine  gall. 
Well,  come,  then,  said  she,  atakin*o'  my  arm,  let  me  intro-, 
duce  you  to  her.  She  ia  a  fine  gall,  Mr.  Slick,  that's  a  fact ; 
and  tho'  I  say  it  that  shouldn't  say  it,  she's  a  considerable 
of  an  accomplished  gall  too.  There  is  no  touch  to  her  in 
these  parts :  minister  s  daughter  that  was  all  one  winter  tq  St. 
John  can't  hold  a  candle  to  her.  Can't  she,  tho'  ?  said  I.  No, 
eaid  she,  that  she  can't,  the  consaited  minx,  tho'  she  does  carry 
her  head  so  high.  One  of  the  gentlemen  that  played  at  the 
show  of  the  wild  beasts  said  to  me,  says  he,  I'll  tell  you  what 
it  is,  Marm  Green,  said  he,  your  daughter  has  a  beautiful 
touch — that's  a  fact ;  most  galls  can  play  a  little,  but  yours  does 
the  thing  complete.  And  so  she  ought,  says  she,  taki^  her 
five  quarters  into  view.  Five  quarters !  said  I ;  well,  if  that 
don't  beat  k\\  I  well,  I  never  hcerd  tell  ef  a  gall  bavin'  fiv« 
quarters  afbre  since  I  was  raised  !  The  skin^  said  I,  I  inust 
say,  is  a  rapst  beautiful  one ;  but  as  for  the  tallow,  who  ever 
heard  of  a  gajll's  tallow  ? 

•'The  fifth  quarter !— Oh  Lord  !  said  I,  marm,'  youll  kill 
me, — and  I  haw  hawed  right  out.  Why,  Mr.  Slick,  pays  iShe, 
din't  you  ashamed?  do,  for  gracious  sake,  behave  yourself ;  1 
meant,  five  quarters*  schooUn*:  what  a  droll  man  you  be. 


ever 

kill 
she, 

[If;  1 

be. 


TALSIMO   LATIir.  0t 

Oh !  five  quarters*  schoolinM  rays  I ;  now  I  und^retand.  And, 
•aid  she,  if  she  don't  paint  it's  a  pity  7  Paint  I  said  I ;  why, 
jmu  don't  ray  so  I  I  thought  that  are  beautiful  colour  was  all 
nateral.  Well,  I  never  could  kiss  a  gall  that  painted.  Mother 
used  to  say  it  was  sailin'  under  false  colours — I  'most  wonder 
you  could  allow  her  to  paint,  for  I'm  sure  there  ain't  the  least 
morsel  of  occasion  for  it  in  ^c  world  :  you  may  say  that'—\t 
w  a  pity  !  Get  out,  said  she,  you  imperanco ;  you  know'd 
better  nor  that ;  I  meant  her  pictures.  Oh  !  her  pictures,  raid 
I ;  now  I  see ;— does  she,  tho'  ?  Well,  that  i»  an  accomplish- 
ment you  don't  often  see,  I  tell  you. — Let  her  alone  for  that, 
said  her  mother.  Here,  Arabella,  dear,  said  she,  come  here 
dear,  and  bring  Mr.  Slick  your  pictur'  of  the  river  that's  got 
the  two  vessel  in  it, — Captain  Noah  Oak's  sloop,  and  Peter 
Zinck's  schooner.  Why,  my  sakes,  mamma,  said  Miss 
Arabella,  with  a  toss  of  her  pretty  little  saucy  mug,  do  you 
expect  me  to  show  that  to  Mr.  Slick?  why,  he'll  only  larf  st 
it, — he  larfs  at  every  thing  that  aiu't  Yankee.  Larf,  said  I, 
now  do  tell :  I  guess  I'd'be  very  sorry  to  do  such  an  ongenteel 
thing,  to  any  one,— much  less,  Miss,  to  a  young  lady  like  you. 
No  indeed,  not  I.  Yes,  said  her  mother  ,*  do,  Bella,  dear ; 
Mr.  Slick  will  excuse  any  little  defeats,  I'm  sure ;  she's  had 
only  five  quarters  you  know,  and  you'll  make  'allowances, 
won't  you,  Mr.  Slick?  I  dare  say, I  said,  they  don't  stand  in 
need  of  no  allowances  at  all,  so  don't  be  so  backward,  my 
dear.  Arter  a  good  deal  of  mock  modesty,  out  skips  Miss 
Arabella,  and  returns  with  a  great  large  water  colour  drawin' 
as  big  as  a  winder-shutter,  and  carried  it  up  afore  her  face  as 
&  hookin'  cow  does  a  board  over  her  eyes  to  keep  her  from 
makiif*  riiG;ht  at  you.  Now,  said  her  mother,  lookin'  as  pleased 
as  a  peacock  when  it's  in  full  fig  with  it^  head  and  tail  up, 
now,  says  she,  Mr.  Slick,  you  are  a  considerable  judge  of 
paihtin' — seein'  that  you  do  bronzin'  and  gildin'  so  beautiful— 
now  don't  you  call  that  splendid  ?  Splendid !  says  I ;  I  guess 
there  ain't  the  beat  of  it  to  be  found  in  this  country,  any 
how-;  I  never  seed  any  thing  like  it :  you  couldn't  ditto  it  in 
the  province  I  know.  I  guess  not,  said  her  mother,  nor  in 
the  next  province  neither.  It  sartainly  beats  all,  said  I.  And 
so  it  did.  Squire ;  you'd  adied  if  you'd  aseed  it,  for  larfin. 
There  was  two  vessels  one  right  abov^  t'other,  a  great  big 
black  cloud  on  the  top,  and  a  church-steeple  staudin'  under 
the  bottom  of  the  schooner.  Well,  says  I,  that  is  beautiful — 
that's  a  fiict ;  but  the  water,  said  I,  miss ;  you  havn't  done 


69 


THS  OLOOUUKKft. 


that  yet ;  when  you  put  that  in,  it  will  be  complete.  Not  vat, 
•aid  she ;  the  greatest  difficulty  I  have  in  paintin*  it  in  makii^ 
water.  Have  you  tho'1  said  I;  well  that  is  a  pity.  Yet, 
said  ahe,  it's  the  hardest  thing  in  natur'— I  cant  do  it  straight, 
nor  make  it  look  of  the  right  colour;  and  Mr.  Acre,  our  mas- 
ter, said  you  must  always  make  water  in  straight  lines  iA 
painling,  or  it  ain't  nateral  and  ain't  pleasin' :  vesseb  too  are 
considerable  hard ;  if  you  make  them  straight  up  and  down 
they  look  stifT  and  ongraceful  like,  and  if  you  put  them  onder 
sail  then  vou  should  know  ail  about  fixin*  the  sails  the  right 
way  for  the  wind — if  you  don't,  it's  blundersome.  I'm  terri- 
bly troubled  with  the  eflect  of  wind.  Oh !  says  I.  Yes,  I 
am,  said  she,  and  if  I  could  only  manage  wind  and  water  in 
paintin*  landscapes,  why  it  would  be  nothin' — I'd  do  'em  in  a 
jifley ;  but  to  produce  the  right  effect  these  things  take  a  great 
deal  of  practice.  I  thought  I  should  have  snorted  right  out  to 
hear  the  little  critter  run  on  with  such  a  regular  tem.  Oh 
dear  I  said  I  to  myself,  what  pains_  some  folks  do  take  to 
make  fools  of  their  children  :  here's  as  nice  a  little  heifer  as 
ever  was,  alettin'  of  her  clapper  run  away  with  her  like  an 
ooruly  horse ;  she  don't  know  where  it  will  take  her  to  yet, 
no  more  than  the  man  in  the  moon. 

As  .she  carried  it  out  again,  her  mother  said,  Now,  I  take 
some  credit  to  myself,  Mr.  Slick,  for  that ; — she  is  throwed 
away  here ;  but  I  was  detarmined  to  have  her  educated,  and 
so  I  sent  her  to  bordin'  school,  and  you  see  the  effect  of  her 
five  (quarters.  Afore  she  went,  she  was  three  years  to  the 
combined  school  in  this  district,  that  includes  both  Dalhousie 
and  Sherbrookc?  you  have  combined  schools  in  the  States, 
hav'n't  you,  Mr.  Slick  7  I  guess  we  have,  said  I ;  boys  and 
gails  combined ;  I  was  to  one  on  'em,  when  F  was  consider- 
able well  grown  up :  Lord,  what  fun  wo  had  !  It's  a  grand 
place  to  larn-  the  multiplication  table  at,  ain't  it  ?  I  re(xrflect 
once, — Oh  fie  I  Mr.  Slick,  I  mean  a  siminary  for  young  gen- 
tlemen and  ladies  where  they  lam  Latin  and  English  com- 
bined. Oh  latten !  said  I ;  they  lam  latten  there,  do  they  ? 
Well,  come,  there  is  some  sense  in  that ;  I  didn't  know  there 
was  a  factory  of  it  in  all  Nova  Scotia.  I  know  how  to  make 
latten ;  father  sent  me  clean  away  to  New  York  to  larn  it. 
You  mix  up  calamine  and  copper,  ,and  it  makes  a  brass  as 
near  like  ^old  as  one  pea  is  like  another ;  and  then  there  is 
another  kmd  o'  latten  workin'  tin  over  iron, — it  makes*  a  most 
complete  imitation  of  silver.    Ob  I  a  knowledge  of  latten  haa 


TALKIiro  LATIir. 


been  of  great  Mrvice  to  me  in  tho  clock  trade,  vou 

sight  of  the 


nation 


may  de- 
genuwiiM 


pond.    It  has  helped  me  to  a 
metaU,— that's  a  Act. 

Why,  what  on  airth  are  you  atalkin*  about?  said  Mrs. 
Green.  I  don't  mean  that  latten  at  all ;  I  mean  the  Latin 
they  lam  at  schools.  Well,  I  don'i  know,  said  I :  I  nevdr 
seed  any  othe^  kind  o'  latten,  nor  ever  heerd  tell  of  any. 

What  is  it?     Why,  it's  a it's  a .    Oh, "you  know  well 

!  enough,  said  she ;  only  you  make  ns  if  you  didn't,  to  poke, 
fun  at  me.  I  believe,  on  my  soul,  you've  been  abammin*  of 
■  me  th€  Whole  blessed  time.  I  hope  I  be  shot  if  I  do,  said 
1 1 ;  BO'do  tell  me  what  it  is.  Is  it  any  thing  in  the  silk  factory 
nine,  or  the  straw-plat,  or  the  cotton  warp  way  ?  Your  head, 
said  she,  considerable  miflly,  is  always  a  runnm'  on  a  factory. 

Latin  is  a .     Nabal,  said  she,  do  tell  me  what  Latin  is. 

Latin,  says   he,— why,  Latin  is ahem,  it's— ——what 

they  teach  at  the  Combined  School.  Well,  says  she,  we  all 
know  that  as  well  as  you  do,  Mr.  Wisehead ;  but  what  is  it? 
Come  here,  Arabella  dear,  and  tell  me  what  Latin  is?  Why, 
Latin,  ma,  said  Arabella,  is, — am-o,  I  love ;  am-at,  he  loves ; 
am-amus,  wci  love ; — that's  Latin.  Well,  it  does  sound  dread> 
■ful  pretty,  tho',  don't  it?  says  I ;  and  yet,  if  Latin  is  love  and 
love  is  Latin,  you  hadn't  no  occasion, — and  I  got  up,  and  slipt 
my  hand  into  hers — you  hadn't  no  occasion  to  go  to  the  Conv 
bined  School  to  lam  it ;  for  natur',  says  I,  teaches  that  a 
and  I  was  whisperin'  of  the  rest  o'  the  sentence  in  her  ear, 
when  her  mother  said, — Come,  come,  Mr.  Slick,  what':)  that 
you  are  asaying  of?  Talkin*  Latin,  says  I, — awinkin'  to 
Arabella ; — ain't  we,  miss?  Oh  yes,  said  she, — returnin'  tY  ; 
squeeze  of  my  hand  and  larfin';— oh  yes,  mother,  arter  »»»' 
he  understands  it  complete.  Then  take  my  seat  here,  says 
the  old  lady,  and  both  on  you  sit  down  and  talk  it,  for  it  will 
be  a  good  practice  for  you ; — and  away  she  sailed  to  the  L«nd 
of  the  room,  and  left  us  a — talking  Latin. 
,  I  hndn't  been  asittin'  there  long  afore  doctor  Ivory  Hovey 
came  up,  asmirkin',  and  asmilin',  and  arubbin'  of  his  hands, 
as  if  he  was  agoin'  to  say  somethin'  very  witty ;  and  I  ob- 
served, the  moment  he  came,  Arabella  took  herself  off.  She 
said,  she  couldn't  'bide  him  at  all.  Well,  Mr.  Slick,  said  hcj 
how  are  you  ?  how  do  you  do,  upon  an  average,  eh  ?  Pray, 
what's  your  opinion  of  matters  and  things  in  general,  eh  ? 
Do  you  think  you  could  exhibit  such  a  show  of  fine  bloomin' 
galls  in  Slickville,  eh  ?    Not  a  bad  chance  for  vou,  I  guess — 


9fO 


THB  OLOOKHAKiilU 


(and  he  gave  that  word  gness  a  twang  fliat  made  the  ic4ks 
larf  all  round,)— «aid  he,  for  you  to  speckiiate  for  a  wife,  eht 
Well,  says  I,  there  is  a  pretty  show  o'  galls, — ^that's  sartain, 
— but  they  wouldn't  condescend  to  the  like  o*  me.    I  was 

^^thinkin'  Uiere  was  some  on  'em  that  would  gist  suit  you  to  a 

.'  T.  Mcy  says  he,  adrawin'  of  himself  up  and  looking  big,— 
me !  and  he  turned  up  his  nose  like  a  pointer  dog  when  the 

J  hirds  flowed  o£  When  /  honour  a  lady  with  the  offer  of  my 
band,  says  he,  it  will  be  a  lady.  Well,  thinks  I,  if  you  ain't 
a  consaited  critter  it's  a  pity ;  most  on  'em  are  a  plaguy  si^ht 

.i|oo  gccd  for  you,  so  I  will  gist  pay  you  off  in  your  own  coin. 
Says  I,  you  put  me  in  mind  of  Lawyer  Endicot's  dog.  What's 
thati  says  the  folks  acrowdin'  round  to  hear  it,  for  I  seed 
plain  enough  that  not  one  on  'em  likied  him  one  morsel.  Saya 
t,  he  had  a  great  big  black  dog  that  he  used  to  carry  about 
with  him  every  where  he  went,  into  the  churches  and  into  the 
court.  The  dog  was  always  abotherin'  of  the  judges,  agettin* 
between  their  legs,  and  they  used  to  order  him  to  bo  turned 
out  every  day,  and  they  always  told  the  lawyer  to  keep  hia 
dog  to  home.  At  last,  old  Judge  Porson  said  to  the  constabte 
one  day,  in  a  voice  of  thunder.  Turn  out  that  dog !  and  the 
judge  gave  him  a  kick  that  sent  him  half-way  across  the 
rooin,  yelpin'  and  howlin'  like  any  thing.  The  lawyer  was 
pro|)CM-ly  vexed  at  this ;  so  says  he  to  the  dog,  Pompey,  saya 
he,  come  here !  and  the  dog  came  up  to  him.  Didn't  I  always 
tell  you,  said  he,  to  keep  out  o'  bad  company  1  Take  that, 
said  he,  agivin'  of  him  a'most  an  awful  kick, — ^take  that  1*^ 
and  the  next  time  only  go  among  gentlemen ;  and  away  went 
the  dog,  loT/kin'  foolish  enough,  you  may  depend.  What  do 
you  mean  by  that  are  story,  sir?  said  he,  abristlin'  up  like  a 
mastiff.  Nothin',  says  I ;  only  that  a  puppy  sometimes  gelt 
into  company  that's  too  good  for  him,  by  mistake ;  and,  if  ha 
forgets  himself,  is  plaguy  apt  to  get  bundled  out  faster  than  ha 
came  in ;  and  I  got  up  and  walked  away  to  the  other  side.  ' 
Folks  gave  him  the  nickname  of  Endicot's  dog  arter  that, 
and  I  was  glad  on  it ;  it  sarved  him  right,  the  consaited  ass. 
I  heerd  the  critter  amutterin'  sun'thin'  of  the  Clockmakei*' 
illustratin'  his  own  case,  but,  as  I  didn't  want  tr  be  panlbnal^ 
I  made  as  if  I  didn't  hear  him.  As  I  went  o*er  towards  the 
side  table,  who  should  I  see  aleanin'  up  a^^ainst  it  but  Mri 
Bobbin,  pretty  considerably  well  shaved,  ^  ith  a  glass  o'  gr(^ 
in  his  hand,  alookin'  as  cross  as  you  pkase,  and  so  far  gooa^^ 
he  was  athiokin'  aloud,  and  atalkin'  to  himsdf.  There 


'  TALUiro  LATiV.  >-        *  71 

**  foft  lawdeff**  iMiys  he,  and  "  human  natur*," — ameanin 
me,— a  Yankee  brooni)—- wooden  nutmegs,— mussed  sarcy,— 
great  mind  to  kick  him.  Arabella's  got  her  head  turned, — 
consaited  minx; — ^ood  exterior,  but  nothin'  in  her, — ^like 
Slick'a  clocks,  all  gilded  and  varnished  outsidie,  and  soft  wood 
withtttf  Gist  do  for  Ivory  Hovey, — same  breed, — big  head, 
—long  ears,-«-a  pair  of  donkeys  I  Shy  old  cock,  that  dea- 
eoni— joins  Temperance  Societies  to  get  popular, — slips  the 
ffin  in,  protends  it's  water ; — I  see  him.  But  here  goes,  I  be> 
neve  I'll  slip  off.  Thinks  I,  it's  gettin'  on  for  mornin' ;  I'll 
flip  oflT  too ;  ap  out  I  goes  and  harnesses  up  Old  Clay,  and 
dnvea  home.  4 

Gist  as  I  came  from  the  bam  and  got  opposite  to  the  houses, 
I  heerd  some  one  acrackin'  of  his  whip,  and  abawlin'  out  at  a 

threat  ai^,  und  1  looked  up,  and  who  should  I  see  but  Bobbin 
n  hia  wagon  ag'in  the  pole  fence.  Comin'  in  the  air  had 
wade  him  blind  drunk.  He  was  alickin'  away  at  the  top  pole 
of  the  fence,  and  afancying  his  horse  was  there,  and  wouldn't 
.  gOi— Who  comes  there  ?  said  he.  Clockmaker,  said  I.  Gist 
take  my  horse  by  the  head, — that's  a  good  feller, — will  youl 
aald  he,  and  lead  him  out  as  far  as  the  road.  Cuss  him,  he 
wonH  itir.  Spiles  a  good  horse  to  lead  him,  says  I ;  he  al- 
ways looks  for  it  again.  Gist  you  lay  it  on  to  him  well, — ■> 
his  hams  ain't  made  o'  hickory  like  mine.  Cut  away  at  him ; 
he'll  go  by  and  by  ; — and  I  drove  away  and  left  him  acuttin* 
and  ailashin'  at  the  fence  for  dear  life.  Thinks  I,  you  are 
not  the  first  ass  that  has  been  brought  to  a  pollj  any  how. 

Next  day,  I  met  Nabal.  Well,  said  he,  Mr.  Slick,  you  hit 
your  young  trader  rather  hard  last  night ;  but  I  wam't  sorry 
to  hear  you,  tho',  for  the  critter  is  so  full  of  consait,  it  will  do 
him  good.  He  wants  to  pull  every  one  down  to  his  own  level, 
as  he  can't  rise  to  theirs,  and  is  for  everlastin'ly  spoutin' about 
House  of  Assembly  business,  officials,  aristocrats,  and  such 
atuflT;  he'd  be  a  plaguy  sight  better,^in  my  mind,  attendin'  to 
hil  own  business,  instead  of  talkin'  of  other  folks' ;  and  usin' 
hii  yardstick  more,  and  his  tongue  less.  And  between  you 
and  me,  Ht.  Slick,  said  he, — thcr  I  hope  you-  won't  let  on  to 
any  ot)e  that  I  said  any  thing  to  you  about  it — but  atwcen 
ourselves,  as  we  are  alone  here,  I  am  athinkin'  my  old  woman 
ii  in  a  fkir  way  to  turn  Arabella's  head  too.  All  this  peintin', 
imd  stngin',  and  talkin'  Latin,  is  very  well,  I  consait,  for  them 
who  have  time  for  it,  and  nothin'  better  to  do  to  home.  It's 
iMtter  pVapi  to  be  adoin'  of  that  than  adoin'  4>t  nothin' ;  but 


n 


TIHB  CLOCaUjIiirBB. 


jbr  the  like  o*  us,  who  have  to  live  by  farmin',  and  keep  a 
considerable  of  a  large  dairy,  and  upwards  of  a  hundred 
sheep,  it  does  seem  to  me  sometimes  as  if  it  were  a  little  out 
of  place.  Be  candid  now,  said  he,  for  {  should  like  to  hear 
what  your  rael  genutotne  opinion  is  touchin'  this  matter,  seein* 
that  you  know  a  good  deal  of  the  world..  . 
^.  Why,  friend  Nabal,  says  I,  as  you'i|e,.asked  my  advice,  I'll 
give  it  to  you ;  tho'  any  thin*  partainin'  to  the  af^ron^stripg  ut 
what  I  don't  call  myself  a  judge  of,  and  feel  delicate  of  med^ 
dlin'  with.  Woman  is  woman,  says  I ;  that's  a  fact ;  and  a 
feller  that  will  go  for  to  provoke  hornets,  is  plaguy  apt  to  ^t 
himself  stung,  and  I  don't  know  as  it  does  not  sarve  him 
right  too ;  but  this  I  must  say,  friend,  that  you're  just  about 
h^f  right, — that's  a  fact.  The  proper  music  for  a  farmer*! 
house  is  the  spinnin'-wheel — the  true  paintin'  the  dye  stum,^-^ 
and  the  tambourin'  the  loom.  Teach  Arabella  to  be  useful 
and  not  showy,  prudent  and- not  extravagant.  She  is  gisjt 
about  as  nice  a  gall  as  you'll  see  in  a  day's  ride ;  now  don't 
spoil  her,  and  let  her  get  her  head  turned,  for  it  would  be  a 
rael  right  down  pity.  One  thing  you  may  depend  on  for  sar- 
tain,  as  a  maxim  in  the  JTarmin'  line, — a  good  darter  and  a 
good  houaekeepert  is  plaguy  apt  to  make  a  good  tot/e  and  a 
good  mother.  4 


CHAPTER  IX. 


THE  SNOW  WREATH.  ^ 

'J 
Whobvbs  has  read  Haliburton's  History  of  Nova  Scotia 
/which,  next  to  Mr.  Josiah  Slick's  History  of  Cuttyhunk,  in 
nve  volumes,  is  the  most  important  account  of  unimportant 
things  I  have  ever  seen,)  will  recollect  that  this  good  city  of 
Annapolis  is  the  most  ancient  one  in  North  America;  but 
.here  is  one  fact  omitted  by  that  author,  which  I  trust  he  will 
not  think  an  intrusion  upon  his  province,  if  I  take  the  liberty 
of  recording,  and  that  is,  that  in  addition  to  its  being  the  most 
ancient — it  is  also  the  most  loyal  city  of  this  Western  Herpi- 
sphere.  This  character  it  has  always  sustained,  and  '*  royal,'* 
fU  a  mark  of  peculiar  favor,  has  ever  been  added  to  its  cog- 
|i<Mnen  by  every  government  that  has  had  dominion  over  it.  , 
.    Under  the  French,  with  whom  it  was  a  great  fitvoritei  it 


THB  SJrOW   WRKATH. 


78 


eep  • 
mdred 
le  out 
>  hear 
,aeeiB' 

ce,  I'll 

ripg  w 
f  med' 

and  a 

to  ^t 
ve  hin) 
t  about 
wmer'f 
tu&,^ 
i  useful 

is  gist 
>w  don't 
lid  be  a 

for  sar- 

r  and  a 

and  a 

•  if 
i 


a  Scotia 
lunk,  in 
oiportant 

city  of 
ica;  but 
it  he  will 
e  liberty 
the  most 
rn  Hemi- 
"  royal," 

its  cspg- 
over  it.  , 
kTorite*  i$ 


was  called  Port  Royal ;  and  the  good  Queen  AAne,' who  coo< 
descended  to  adopt  it,  permitted  it  to  be  called  Annapolis 
Royal.  A  book  issuing  from  Nova  Scotia  is,  as  Blackwood 
very  justly  observes,  in  his  never-to-be-forgotten,  nor  ever- 
to-be-sufficiently-admired  review  of  the  first  series  of  this 
work,  one  of  those  unexpected  events  that  from  their  great 
improbability,  appear  almost  incredible.  Entertaining  no 
doubt,  thereib*"*  that  every  member  of  the  cabinet  will  read 
this  lutttt  HaturiBt  I  take  this  opportunity  of  informing  them 
that  our  most  gracious  Sovereign  Queen  Victoria,  has  not  in 
all  her  wide-spread  dominions  more  devoted  or  loyal  subjects 
than  the  good  people  of  Annapolis  Royal. 

Here  it  was,  said  I,  Mr.  Slick,  that  the  egg  was  laid  of  that 
American  bird,  whose  progeny  have  since  spread  over  this 
immense  continent.  Weil,  it  is  a  most  beautiful  bird  too,  ain*t 
it?  said  he ;  what  a  plumage  it  his !  what  a  size  it  is !  It  is 
a  whopper — that's  sartain  ;  it  has  the  courage  and  the  soarin* 
of,  tlie  eagle,  and  the  colour  of  the  peacock,  and  his  majestic 
step  and  keen  eye ;  the  world  never  seed  the  beat  of  it ;  that's 
a  fact.  How  streaked  the  English  must  feel  when  they  think 
they  once  had  it  in  the  cage  and  could'nt  keep  it  there ;  it  ia; 
a  pity  they  are  so  invyous  tho',  I  declare.  Not  at  all,  I  assure: 
you,  I  replied  ;  there's  not  a  man  among  them  who  is  not> 
ready  to  admit  all  you  have  advanced  in  favour  of  your  na- 
tional emblem ;  the  fantastic  strut  of  the  peacock,  the  melodic* 
ous  and  attic  tones,  the  gaudy'  apparel,  the  fondness  for 
display  which  is  perpetually  exhibiting  to  the  world  the  ex- 
tended tail  with  painted  stars,  the  amiable  disposition  ol'  the 
bird  towards  the  younger  and  feebler  offspring  of  others,  the 
unwieldy  I  thought   so,  said  h6 ;   I  had'nt  ought  to 

have  spoke  of  it  afore  you,  for  it  does  seem  to  ryle  you ;  that's 
sartain ;  and  I  don't  know  as  it  was  gist  altogether  right  to 
allude  to  a  thin'  that  is  so  h(imblin'  to  your  national  pride. 
But,  squire,  ain't  thi^  been  a  hot  day  ?  I  think  it  would  pass 
muster  among  the  hot  ones  of  the  West  Indgies  a'most.  I  do 
wish  t  could  gist  slip  off  my  flesh  and  sit  in  my  bobes  f  ^r  a 
space,  to  cool  myself,  for  I  ain't  seed  such  thawy  weather  this 
many  a  year,  I  know.  I  calculate  I  will  brew  a  little  lemonade,  - 
for  Marm  Bailey  ginerally  keeps  the  materials  for  that  Tem- 
perance Society  drink.  < 

This  climate  o'  Nova  Scotia  does  run  to  extremes ;  it  has 
the  hottest  and  the  coldest  days  in  it  I  ever -seed.   I  shall  never 
foJH^  a  night  I  spent  here  three  winters  ago.    I  come  very  ■ 
7 


74 


TRIL  GLOOXMAKni.) 


nnr  freezin'  to  death.  The  very  thought  of  that  aigbt  will' 
oool  me  the  hottest  daiy  in  summer.  It  was  about  the  latter 
flend  of  February,  as  far  as  my  memory  sanres  me,  I  earned 
down  here  to  cross  over  the  bay  to  St.  John,  and  it  was  oon- 
nderafale  arter  daylight  down  when  I  arrived.  It  was  the 
most  violent  slippery  weather,  and  the  most  crud  cold,  I 
tfadnk,  I  ever  mind  seein'  since  I  was  raised. 

Says  Marm  Bailey  to  me^Mr.  Slick,  says  she,  I  don't  know 
what  onder  the  sun  I'm  agoin'  to  do  with  you,  or  how  I  shall 
be  able  to  accommodate  you,  for  there's  a  whole  raft  of  folks 
from  Halifax  here,  and  a  batch  of  Ynoose-hunting  officers,  and 
I  don't  know  who  all;  and  the  house  is  chuck  full,  I  declare. 
Well,  says  I,  Vm  no  ways  partikilar — I  can  put  up  with  most 
anything.  I'll  gist  take  a  stretch  here,  afore  the  fire  on  the 
floor  ;-~for  I'm  e'en  a'most  chilled  to  death,  and  awful  sleepy 
too;  first  come,  says  I,  first  sar'^ed,  you  know'»  an  old  rule, 
and  luck's  the  word  now -a  days.  Yes,  I'll  gist  take  the  hearth- 
rug for  it,  and  a  good  warm  birth  it  is  too.  Well,  says  she^^ 
I  can't  think  o'  that  at  no  rate:  there's  old  Mrs.  Ft(vma  in  th6 
next  street  but  one ;  she's  got  a  spare  bed  she  lets  out  some-^ 
times :  I'll  send  up  to  her  to  get  it  ready  for  you,  and  to-mor-' 
.^IFOW  these  folks  will  be  off,  and  then  you  can  have  yoOr  old 
'  quarters  again. 

So  arter  supper,  old  Johnny  Farquhar,  the  English  help, 
showed  me  up  to  the  widder's.    She  was  considerable  m 
years,  but  (tcheerfulsome  old  lady  and  very  pleasant,  but  she 
had  a  darter,  the  prettiest  gall  I  ever  seed  since  I  was  created. 
There  was  somethin'  or  another  about  her  that  made  a  body 
feel  melancholy  too ;  she  was  a  lovely-looking  critter,  but  her^ 
countenance  was  sad;  she  was  tall  and  well-made,  had  bea^ 
tiful  lookin'  long  black  hair  And  black  eyes ;  but  oh !  h<^; 
pale  she  was ! — and  the  only  colour  she  had  was  a  little  fever-^ 
like  lookin'  red  about  her  lips.    She  was  dressed  in  black, 
which  made  her  countenance  look  more  marble>like ;  and  yet 
whatever  it  was, — natur',  or  consumption,  or  desartion,  or  set- 
tin'  on  the  anxious  benches,  or  what  not,  that  made  her  look 
■0,  yet  she  hadn't  fallen  away  one  morsel,  but  was  fiill  formed 
and  well  waisted.    I  couldn't  keep  my  eyes  cff  of  her. 

I  felt  a  kind  o'  interest  in  her;  I  seemed  as  if  I'd  like  tO% 
hear  her  story,  for  somethin'  or  another  had  gone  wr<mg,-*-*t 
that  was  clear ;  some  little  story  of  the  heart,  most  like,  for 
young  galb  are  plaguy  apt  to  have  a  tender  spot  thereaboatai^ ' 
fiHw  iiever  smiled,  and  when  i^e  look«d  oft  va^  she  looked  •»< 


TBS-BireW  WRBftTR.  9i 

streaked  and  to  a^*  and  cold  wHhai,  it  made  me  kinder  su- 
penititious.  Her  roice,  too,  was  so  sweet,  and  yet  so  doleful, 
that  1  felt  proper  sorry,  and  amazin' curious  too;  thinks  I,  I'll 
cist  ax  to-morrow  all  about  her,  for  folks  have  prett)r  cute  ears 
m  Annapolis ;  there  ain't  a  smack  of  a  kiss  that  ain't  heerd 
all  over  town  in  two  two's  and  sometimes  they  think  they  heer 
'em  even  afore  they  happen.  It's  a'most  a  grand  place  for 
news,  like  all  other  small  places  I  ever  seed.  Well,  I  tried 
jokin'  and  funny  stories,  and  every  kind  o'  thing  to  raiise  a 
larf,  but  all  wouldn't  do ;  she  talked  and  listened  and  chatted 
away  as  if  there  vfha  nothin'  above  partikiler;  but  still  no 
smile ;  her  face  was  cold^nd  clear  and  bright  as  the  icy  sur- 
fkce  of  a  lake,/ and  so  transparent  too,  you  could  see  the  veins 
in  it.  *  Arter  awhile,  the  old  lady  showed  me  to  my  chamber, 
and  there  was  a  fire  in  it ;  but  on !  my  sakes,  how  cold !  it  was 
like  ^oin'  down  into  a  well  in  summer — it  made  my  blood 
fairly  thicken  ag'in.  Your  tumbler  is  out,  squire ;  try  a  little 
more  of  that  lemonade ;  that  iced  water  is  grand.  Well,  I  sot 
over  the  fire  a  space,  and  gathered  up  the  little  bits  o'  brands 
and  kindlin'  wood,  (for  the  logs  were  green,  and  woukln't 
bum  up  at  no  rate ;)  and  then  I  ondressed  and  made  a  despe- 
rate jump  right  into  the  cold  bed  with  only  half  clothes 
enough  on  it  for  such  weather,  and  wrapped  up  all  the  clothes 
around  me.  Well,  I  thought  I  should  have  died.  The  frost 
was  in  the  sheets,—- and  my  breath  looked  like  the  steam  from 
a  boilin'  tea-kettle,  and  it  settled  right  down  on  the  jquilt,  and 
fW)ze  intb  white  hoar.  The  nails  in  the  house  cracked  like  a 
gun  with  a  wet  wad, — they  went  off  like  thunder,  and,  now 
and  then,  you'd  hear  some  one  run  al<Hig  ever  so  fast,  as  if  he 
uldn't  show  his  nose  to  it  for  one  minit,  and  the  snow  crack- 
'  and  crumplin'  onder  his  feet,  like  a  new  shoe  with  a  ^tiff 
sole  to  it.  The  fire  wouldn't  blaze  no  longer,  and  only  gave 
up  a  blue  smoke,  and  the  glass  in  the  window  looked  all  fuzzy 
with  the  frost.  Thinks  I,  I'll  freeze  to  death  to  a  sartainty. 
If  I  go  for  to  drop  off  asleep,  as  sure  as  the  world  1*11  never 
wakb  up  ag'in.  I've  heerin'  tell  of  folks  afore  now  feelin' 
dozy  like,  out  in  the  cold,  and  layin'  down  to  sleep,  and  goin* 
for  it,  and  f  don't  half  like  to  try  it,  I  vow.  Well,  I  gbt  con- 
siderable narvous  like,  and  I  kept  awake  near  about  all  night, 
tremblin'  and  shakin'  like  ague.  My  teeth  fairly  chattered 
ag'in ;  first  I  rubbed  one  foot  ag'in  another, — ^then  I  doubled 
up  all  on  a  heap,  and  then,  rubbed  all  over  with  my  hands. 
Oh  1  it  was  dismal,  you  may  depend ; — at  last  I  began  tu  nod 


C 


w 


THS  OLOOKMAKEIl. 


and  doze,  and  fancy  I  seed  a  flock  of  sheep  atakih'  a  split  fbr 
it,  over  a  wall,  and  tried  to  count  *em,  one  by  one,  and  couIdnU ; 
and  then  Td  start  up,  and  then  nod  a^'in.  I  felt  it  acomin'  all 
over,  in  spite  of  all  1  could  do ;  and,  thinks  I,  it  ainH  so  ever- 
ilastin*  long  to  day-light  now;  TU  try  it  any  how---l'U  be 
dam'd  if  I  don't — so  here  goes. 

Just  as  I  shot  my  eyes,  and  made  up  my  mind  for  a  hap,  I 
hears  a  low  moan  and  a  sob ;  well,  I  sits  up,  and  listens,  but 
ell  was  silent  again.  Nothin*  but  them  etarnal  nails  agoin' 
off,  one  arter  t'other,  like  anything.  Thinks  I  to  niyself,  the 
^wind's  a  gettin'  up,  I  estimate ;  it's  as  tike  ao  not  we  shall 
have  a  change  o'  the  weather.  Presently  I  heerd  a  light  step 
,oc  the  entry,  and  the  door  opens  soflly,  and  In  walks  the  win- 
der's darter  on  tip  toe,  dressed  in  a  long  white  wrapper,  and 
,aAer  peerin'  all  round  to  see  if  I  was  asleep,  sjie  goes  and  |its 
:down  in  the  chimney  corner,  and  picks  up  the  coals  and  fixes 
the  fire,  and  sits  alookin'  at  it  for  ever  so  long.  Oh !  so  sad, 
and  so  melancholy ;  it  was  dreadful  to  see  her.  Says  I,  to 
myself,  says  I,  what  on  airth  brings  the  poor  critter  here,  all 
alone,  this  time  o'night ;  and  the  air  so  plaguy  cold  too.  I 
guess,  she  thinks  I'll  freeze  to  death  ;  or,  perhaps,  she's 
walkin'  in  her  sleep.  But  there  she  sot  lookin'  more  like  a 
;ghost  than  human — first  she  warmed  one  foot,  and  then  the 
-other ;  and  then  held  her  hands  over  the  coals,  and  moaned 
.bitterl}'-.  Dear!  dear!  thinks  I,  that  poor  critter  is  a  freezin' 
to  death  as  well  as  me ;  I  do  believe  the  world  is  comin'  to  an 
jcend  right  ofiT,  and  we  shall  all  die  of  cold,  and  I  shivered  all 
over.  Presently  she  got  up,  and  I  saw  her  face  part  covered, 
with  her  long  black  hair,  and  the  other  parts  so  white  and  so 
cold,  it  chilled  me  to  look  at  it,  and  her  foot  steps  Ijconsaite^ 
sounded  louder,  and  I  cast  my  eyes  down  to  her  feet,  and  r 
actilly  did  fancy  they  looked  froze.  Well,  she  come  near  the 
bed,  and  lookin'  at  me,  stood  for  a  space  without  stirrin',  and 
then  she  cried  bitterly.  He,  too,  is  doomed,  said  she ;  he  is 
in  the  sleep  of  death,  and  so  far  from  home,  and  all  his  friends 
too.  Not  yet,  said  I,  you  dear  critter  you,  not  y^,-you  may 
depend  ; — but  you  will  be,  if  you  don't  go  to  bed ; — so  says  I, 
jdo  for  gracious  sake,  return  to  your  room,  or  you  will  perish< 
It's  frozen,  says  she ;  it's  deathly  cold ;  the  bed  is  a  snow, 
wreath,  and  the  pillow  is  ice,  and  the  coverlid  is  congealed ; 
the  chill  ha^  struck  into  my  heart,  and  my  blood  has  ceased 
to  flow  I'm  doomed,  I'm  doomed  to  die;  and  oh!  how 
•trange,  how  tsQid  if  disathj    Wi^ll}  I  was  all  strut^k  up  of  a 


THI  fffOW  WKIATB. 


W 


plit  for 
>uldn't; 
min*  all 
lo  ever- 
-I'll  be 

I  hap,  I 
3ns,  but 
I  atfoin* 
sel^  the 
ire  shall 
ght  step 
he  wid* 
iety  and 
and  iits 
nd  fixes 
so  sad, 
ys  I,  to 
bere,  all 
too.    I 
)S,  she's 
%  like  a 
hen  the 
moaned 
freezin' 
n'  to  an 
^ered  all 
[X>vered, 
and  so 
onsaite^ 
t,  andT 
near  the 
and 
;  he  is 
friends 
'ou  may 
>  says  1, 
perish. 
snow< 
igoaled; 
ceased 
h!  how 
up  of  a 


rin', 


4^' 


heap  I  I  dldD*t  know  what  on  airth  to  do ;  savs  I  to  myself, 
says  I,  bereft  tbil  poor  gall  in  my  room  carryin'  on  like  ravib' 
distracted  msd  in  the  middle  of  the  night  here ;  she's  oneasy 
in  her  mind,  «nd  it  awalkin*  as  sure  as  the  world,  and  how 
it's  agoin*  to  eend,  I  donH  know— -that's  a  fact.  Katey,j»ys 
I,  dear,  I'll  ftet  up  and  give  you  m^  bed  if  you  are  cold,  and 
I'll  go  and  make  up  a  areat  rousm'  big  fire,  and  I'll  call  up 
the  old  lady,  and  ibe  willsee  to  you,  and  get  you  a  hot  drink  ; 
somethin'  muit  be  don@,  tn  a  sartainty,  for  I  can't  bet.,  to  hear 
you  talk  so.  No,  mavi  she,  not  for  the  world ;  what  will  my 
mother  say*  Mn  Buakl  and  me  here  in  your  room,  and 
nothin'  but  thia  wrapper  on  ;  it's  too  late  now  ;  it's  all  over ; 
and  with  that  sbo  iliinted,  and  fell  right  across  the  bed.  Oh  1 
bow  cold  she  waa  I  the  chill  struck  into  me  ;  I  feel  it  yet ;  the 
very  doughti  ii  enough  to  give  one  the  ague.  Well,  I'm  a 
modest  man,  aquire  |  1  was  always  modest  from  a  boy ;  but 
there  was  no  time  for  ceremony  now,  for  there  was  a  su^rin* 
dyin'  critter— fo  I  drew  her  in,  and  folded  her  in  my  arms,  in 
hopes  she  would  eome  to,  but  death  was  there. 

I  breathed  on  her  ley  lips,  but  life  seemed  extinct,  and 
every  time  I  preiaed  mr  to  me,  I  shrunk  from  her  till  my 
hack  touched  the  eold  gypsum  wall.  It  felt  like  a  tomb,  so 
chill,  so  damp,  ao  eold— (you  have  no  notion  how  cold  them 
are  kind  o'  walli  are,  thev  beat  all  natur')>-6queezed  between 
this  frozen  gall  on  one  fide,  and  the  icy  plaster  on  the  other, 
I  felt  as  if  my  own  life  was  aebbin'  away  fast.  Poor  critter  1 
says  I,  has  her  eare  of  me  brought  her  to  this  pass  1    I'll 

{>ress  her  to  my  heart  onee  more ;  p'r'aps  the  little  heat  that's 
eil  there  may  revive  her,  end  I  can  but  die  a  few  minutes 
sooner.  It  wai  a  laat  e^rt,  but  it  succeeded ;  she  seemed  to 
Ipreathe  again— 'I  snoke  to  her,  but  she  couldn't  answer,  tho'  I 
felt  her  t^ra  flow  lait  on  my  bosom ;  but  I  was  actilly  sinkin' 
fast  myielf  now—-!  felt  my  eend  approacbin'.  Then  came 
reflection,  hitter  and  and  thoughts  they  were  too,  I  tell  you. 
Dear,  dear  I  aaid  1 1  here's  a  pretty  kettle  o'  fish,  ain't  there  ? 
we  shall  be  both  found  dead  here  in  the  mornin',  and  what 
will  folks  say  of  thia  beautiAil  jg;all,  and  of  one  of  our  free 
and  enlightened  eitizeni,  found  m  such  a  scrape  1  Nothin* 
will  be  too  bed  (br  *em  that  they  can  lay  their  tongues  to ; 
that's  a  fhot  |  the  Yankee  villain,  the  cheatin'  Clockmaker, 

the  ■ ■-,  the  thought  gave  mv  heart  a  jupe,  so  sharp,  so  deep, 

so  painftU, !  awoke  ai^  found  t  was  ahuggin'  a  snow  wreath, 
that  had  sifted  thro*  a  hole  in  the  roof  on  the  bed;  part 
~    7*      7  ' 


78 


TRB  OLOCKMAKIR.' 


r 


.  K 


had  melted  and  trickled  down  my  breast,  and  part  had  Trozif 
to'the  clothes,  and  chilled  me  through.  1  woke  up,  proper 
ghid  it  was  all  a  dream,  you  may  depend — but  amazin'  cold 
and  dreadful  stiff,  and  I  was  laid  up  at  this  place  for  thre^ 
weeks  with  the  'cute  rheumatis,— that's  a  fact. 

But  your  pale  young  friend,  said  I ;  did  you  ever  see  her 
again?  pray,  what  became  of  her?     Would  you  believe  itf 
said  he ;  the  next  momin',  when  I  came  down,  there  sot  Katey^ 
by  the  fire,  lookin'  as  bloomin*  as  a  rose,  and  as  chipper  as  a 
canary  bird ; — the  fact  is,  I  was  so  uncommon  cold,  and  3d 
sleepy  too,  the  night  afore,  that  I  thought  etery  body  and 
every  thing  looked  cold  and  dismal  too.     Mornhi*,  sir,  said 
she,  as  I  entered  the  keepin'  room ;  mornin'  to  you,  Mr.  Slick ; 
how  did  you  sleep  last  night  ?   I'm  most  afeard  you  (bund  that 
are  room  dreadful  cold,  for  little  Biney  opened  the  window  at 
the  head  of  the  bed  to  make  the  fire  draw  and  start  the  smoke 
up,  and  forgot  to  shut  it  again,  and  I  guess  it  was  wide  opeo^' 
all  night; — I  minded  it  arter  I  got  to  bed,  and  I  thought  V 
should  ha'  died  a  larfin'.    Thank  you,  said  I,  for  that ;  but 
you  forget  you  come,  and  shot  it  yourself.     Me !  said  she ;  I 
never  did  no  such  a  thing.     Catch  me  indeed  agoin  into  ft'; 
gentleman's  chamber ;  no,  indeed,  not  for  the  world !    If  I 
wasn't  cold,  said  I,  it's  a  pity, — that's  all ;  I  was  'een.  a'most 
frozen  as  stiff  as  a  poker,  and  near  about  frightened  to  death 
too,  for  I  seed  vou  or  your  ghost  last  night,  as  plain  as  I  see| 
yod  now ;  that  s  a  fact.    A  ghost !  said  she ;  how  you  talk  1^ 
do  tell     Why,  how  was  that?    Well,  I  told  her  t.     .fholtf^' 
storv  from  beginning  to  eend.  '  First  she  larfed  ready  to  splitj 
at  my  account  of  the  cold  room,  and  my  bein'  afeard  to  go  to 
sleep ;  but  then  she  stopt  pretty  short,  I  guess,  and  blushed 
like  anything,  when  I  told  her  about  her  comin'  into  the  cham^i 
ber,  and  looked  proper  frightened,  not  knowin'  what  was  to; 
come  next;  but  when  she  heerd  of  her  turnin'  first  into  an* 
icecicle,  and  then  into  a  snow-drift,  she  haw-hawed  right  out.^ 
I  thought  she  actilly  would  have  gone  into  hysterics.    You  ' 
might  have  frozen,  said  she,  in  rael  right  down^  earnest,  afore 
I'd  agone  into  your  chamber  at  that  time  o'night  to^^see  arter 
you,  or  your  fire  either,  said  she,  you  may  depend ;  I  can't' 
think  what  on  airth  could  have  put  that  are  crotchet  into  yourf 
head.    Nor  I  neither,  said  I;  and  besides,  isaid  I,  aketchin*7 
Iiold  of  her  hand,  and  drawih*  her  close  to  me, — and  besides, 
says  I, — I  shouMn't  have  felt  so  awful  cdld  neither,  if  yoii*^ 

"     .    Hold  your  tongue,  said  she,  you  goney  you,  this  miil* ' 


% 


said 


death 
IS  I  see^ 
talkl\ 
,f  hole* ' 
to  split 
goto 
Ushed, 
chamr 

vras  to 
ato  an' 
It  out. 
You 
afore 
arter 
canH- 
f' 


TiUB  SVOW   WABATH.  W 

nit ;  I  wqnU  hear  another  word  about  it,  and  go  right  off  and 

Set  your  breakfotft,  for  you  was  sent  for  half  an  hour  ago, 
Lrter  bein*  mocked  all  night,  says  I,  by  them  are  icy  lips  of 
your  ghost.  Now  I  see  them  are  pretty  little  sarcy  ones  of 
your*n,  I  think'I  must,  and  I'll  be  .darned  if  I  won't  have  a 
.  ,,.  ...  Well,  I  estimate  you  won't,- then,  said  she,  you  impe« 
dence, — and  she  did  fend  off  like  a  brave  one — that's  a  fact ; 
she  made  frill,  shirt  collar,  and  dickey,  fly  like  snow ;  she  was 
as  smart  as  a  fox  trap,  and  as  wicked  as  a  meat  axe  ;~>there 
was  no  gettin'  near  her  no  how.  At  last,  says  she,  if  there 
ain't  mother  acomin',  I  do  declare,  and  my  hair  is  all  spifli< 
cated,  too,  like  a  mop, — and  my  dress  all  rumfoozled,  like 
any  thing,— do,  for  gracious  sake,  set  things  to  right  a  little, 
afore  mother  comes  m,  and  then  cut  and  run :  my  heart  is  in 
my  mouth,  I  declare.  Then  she  sot  down  in  a  chair,  and  put 
both  hands  behind  her  head  a  puttin'  in  her  combs.  Oh  dear, 
said  she,  pretendin'  to.  try  to  get  away ;  is  that  what  you  call 
puttin'  things  to  rights  7  Don^  squeeze  so  hard ;  youUl  choke 
me,  I  vow.  It  tante  me  that's  achokin'  of  you',  says  I,  it's  the 
heart  that's  in  your  mouth.  Oh,  if  it  had  only  been  them 
lips  instead  of  the-  ghost  I  ~  Quick,  says  she,  aopenin'  of  the' 
door, — I  hear  mother  on  the  steps ; — quick,  be  off;  but  mind 
you  don't  tell  an^  one  that  ghost  story ;  people  migjit  think 
there  was  more  m  it  than  met  the  ear.  Well,  well,  said  I  to 
myself,  for  a  pale  face,  sad,  melancholy  lookin'  gall,  if  you 
hav'n't  turned  out  as  rosy  a  rompin',  larkin*,  light>hearted  a 
heifer  as  ever  I  seed  afore,  it's  a  pity. — There's  another  lemon 
left,  squire,  s'pose  we  mix  a  little  more,  sourin'  afore  we  turn 
in,  and  take  another  glass  "  to  the  widder's  darter." 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE  TALISMAN. 


It  was  our  intention  to  have  left  Annapolis  this  morning 
after  breakfast,  and  proceeded  to  Digby,  a'  small  but  beautiful 
village,  situated  iat  the  entrance  of  that  magnificent  sheet  of 
water,  once  known  as  Port  Royal  Bason,  but  lately  by  the 
more  euphonious  appellation  of  the  "  Gut."  But  Mr.  Slick 
was  missing,  nor  could  any  trace  of  him  be  found ;  I  there- 
fore ordered  the  horse  again  to  the  stable,  and  awaited  his 


THI  OLOOKMAEim. 

return  with  all  due  patience.  It  wai  five  o*cIock  in  the  after- 
noon before  he  made  his  appearance.  Sorry  to  keep  you 
awaitin*,  said  he,  but  I  got  completely  let  in  for  it  this  mom* 
in*;  I  pijt  my  foot  in  it,  you  may  depend.  IVe  got  a  grand 
story  to  tell  you,  and  one  that  will  make  vou  larf  too,  I  know. 
Where  do  you  think  I've  been  of  all  pfaces  onder  the  sun  ? 
Why,  I've  been  to  court ;  that's  a  fact.  I  seed  a  great  crowd 
of  folks  about  the  door,  and  thinks  I,  who's  dead,  and  what's 
to  pay  now  ?    I  think  I'll  just  step  in  for  a  minit  and  see. 

What's  on  the  carpet  to*day?  says  I  to  a  blue  nose;  what's 
goin'  on  here  ?  Why,  said  he,  they  are  agoin'  for  to  try 
a  Yankee.  What  for?  said  I.  Steclin',  says  he.  A  Yankee, 
says  I  to  myself;  well,  that's  strange  too ;  tha^  beats  me  any- 
how ;  I  never  haerd  tell  of  a  Yankee  bein'  such  a  bom  fool  as 
to  steal.  If  the  feller  has  been  such  a  ravin'  destrltcted 
soney,  I  hope  they  will  hang  him,  the  varmint ;  that's  a  fact. 
It's  mostly  them  thick-skulled,  wrong-headed,  cussed  stupid 
fools  the  British  that  do  that  are ;  they  ain't  brought  up  well, 
and  hav'n't  got  no  edication ;  but  our  folks  know  better ; 
they've  been  better  larned  than  to  do  the  like  o'  that — they 
can  get  most  any  thing  they  want  by  gettin'  hold  oh  the  right 
eend  in  a  bargain;  they  do  manage  beautiful  in  a  trade,  a  slight 
o'  hand,  a  Ipan,  a  failin',  a  8])eckelation,.  swamp,  thimble-rig, 
or  some  how  or  another  in  the  regular  way  within  the  law ; 
but  as  for  steelin'— never— I  don't  believe  he's  a  Yankee. 
No,  thinks  I,  he  can't  be  American,  bred  and  born,  for  we  are 
too  enlighened  for  that,  by  a  long  chalk.  We  have  a  great 
respect  for  the  laws,  squire ;  we've  been  bred  to  that,  and 
always  uphold  the  dignity  of  the  law.  I  recollect  once  that 
some  of  our  young  citizens  away  above  Montgomery  got  into 
^a  flareup  with  a  party  of  boatmen  that  lives  on  the  Mississippi ; 
a  desperate  row  it  was,  too,  and  three  of  the  Kentuckians 
were  killed  as  dead  as  herrins'.  Well,  they  were  had  up  for 
it  afore.  Judge  Cotton.  He  was  one  of  our  revolutionary 
heroes,  a  starn,  hard-featured  old  man,  <quite  a  Cato — and  he. 
did  curry  Vm  down  with  a  heavy  hand,  you  may  depend ; — 
he  had  no  marcy  on  'em.  There  he  sot  with  his  hat  on, 
a  cigar  in  his  mouth,  his  arms  folded,  and  his  feet  over  the 
rail,  lookin'  as  sour  as  an  onripe  lemon.  Bring  up  them  cul- 
prits, said  he,  and  when  they  were  brought  up  he  told  *em 
it  was  scandalous,  and  only  fit  for  English  and  ignorant 
foreijners,that  sit  on  the  outer  porch  of  darkness,  and  not 
high-minded  intelligent  Americans.    You  are  a  disgrace,,  said 


*^        ** 


the  after- 
teep  ycu 
is  moni- 
t  a  grand 
,  I  know, 
the  sun  ? 
tat  crowd 
id  what*a 

8GC« 

I,'  what's 

T  to  try 

Yankee, 

me  any- 

'n  fool  as 

estr&cted 

:*8  a  fact. 

id  stupid 

up  well, 

y  better; 

lat — they 

the  right 

!,  a  slight 

mble-rig, 

the  law ; 

Yankee. 

>r  we  are 

;  a  great 

hat,  and 

)nce  that 

got  into 

isissippi ; 

ituckians 

d  up  for 

utionary 

—and  he. 

pend;— 

hat  on, 

over  the 

lem  cuU 

told  *em 

ignorant 

and  not 

ice,  said 


.    THB  TAUSVAIf.  V| 

be,  to  our  great  nation,  and  I  hope  I  shall  never  hear  the  like 
of  it  ag*in.  If  !  do,  Pll  put  you  on  trial  as  sure  as  you  are 
born,  I  hope  I  may  be  skmned  alive  by  wild  cats,  if  I  don't. 
Well,  they  didnH  like  this  kind  o*  talk  at  all,  so  that  night 
away  they  goes  to  the  judce's  house  to  teach  him  a  thing  or 
two,  with  a  oowskin,  and  kicked  up  a  deuce  of  a  row ;  and 
what  do  you  think  the  neighbours  did?  Why,  they  gi^* 
walked  in,  seized  the  ringleaders  and  lynched  them  in  less 
Ihan  ten  minits,  on  one  of  the  linden  trees  afore  the  judge's 
door. 

They  said  the  law  muat  be  'vindicated — and  that  courts 
must  be  upheld  by  all  quiet,  orderly  people,  for  a  terror  to 
evil-doers.  The  law  must  take  its  course.  No,  thinks  I,  he 
can't  be  a  Yankee ; — if  he  was,  and  had  awanted  the  article, 
he  would  ha*  done  him  out  of  it,  p'r'aps  in  a  trade,  bein'  too 
experienced  a  man  of  business  for  him ;  but  steal  it,  never, 
never — I  don't  believe  it,  I  vow.  Well,  I  walked  into  the 
court-house,  and  there  was  a  great  crowd  of  folks  there,  a 
jal^rin'  and  a  talkin'  away  like  any  thing  (foi'  blue  nose 
needn't  turn  his  back  on  any  one  for  talkin' — the  critter  is  all 
tongue,  like  an  old  horse)--presently  in  come  one  or  two 
young  lawyers,  in  a  dreadful  hurry,  with  great  piles  of  books 
under  their  arms  with  white  leather  covers,  and  great  bundles 
of  papers  tied  with  red  tape,  and  put  'em  down  oh  the  table 
afore  'era,  lookin'  very  big  with  the  quantity  of  lamin'  they 
carried ;  thinks  I,  young  shavers,  if  ^ou  had  more  of  that  in. 
your  heads,  and  less  under  your  arms,  you  would  have  the 
use  of  your  hands  to  play  with  your  thumbs,  when  you  had 
nothin'  to  do.  Then  came  in  one  or  two  old  lawyers,  and  sot 
down  and  nodded  here  and  there,  to  sume  o'  the  upper-crust 
iblks  o'  the  county,  and  then  shook  hands  amazin'  hearty  with 
the  young  lawyers,  and  the  young  lawyers  larfed,  and  the  old 
ones  larf»d,  and  they  all  nodded  their  heads  together  like  a 
flock  of  geese  agoin'  thro'  a  gate. . 

Presently  the  sheriff  calls  out  at  the  tip  end  of  his^oice, 
"  Clear  the  way  for  the  judge ;"— -and  the  judge  walks  up  to 
the  bench,  lookin'  down  to  his  feet  to  see  he  didn't  tread  on 
other  folks'  toes,  and  put  his  arm  behind  hb  back,  and  twirls 
the  tail  of  his  sown  over  it  so,  that  other  folks  mightn't  tread 
on  his'n.  Well,  when  he  gets  to  the  bench,  he  stands  up  as 
straight  as  a  liberty  pole,  and  tKe  lawyers  all  stand  up  straight 
too,  and  clap  their  eyes  on  his  till  he  winks,  and  then  both  on 
*em  slowly  bend  their  bodies  forward  till  they  nearly  touch 


the  (ablet  with  their  noses,  and  then  they  eot  dAwn,  and  tile 
judge  took  a  look  all  round,  as  if  he  saw  every  thing  in  gine< 
rai  and  notbin*  in  partikilar^^I  never  seed  anything  so  <}ueer 
afore,  I  vow.  It  puts  me  in  mind-o*  the  Chinese,  but  they  bob 
their  foreheads  clean  away  down  to  the  velry  floor. 

Well,  then,  said  the  crier,  **  Oh  yes !  Oh  yea  I  His  Majea- 
ty*s  (I  mean  her  Mhjesty's)  court  is  now  opened.  Ood  save 
the  King  (I  mean  the  Queen.)"  Oh  t  if  folks  didnH  larf  it's , 
a  pity — for  I've  often  obsarved  it  takes  but  a  very  small  joke ' 
to  make  a  crowd  larf.  They'll  larf  at  nothin'  amost.  Silence, 
aaid  the  sheriff,  and  all  was  as  still  as  moonlight.  It  looked 
strange  to  me,  you  may  depend,  for  the  lawyers  looked  like 
80  many  ministera  all  dressed  ii  black  gowns  and  white  bands 
on,  only  they  acted  more  like  players  than  preachers,  a  plaguy 
sight.  But,  said  I,  is  not  this  the  case  in  your  country ;  is 
there  not  some  sort  of  professional  garb  worn  by  the  bar  of  ^tbe 
Unhed  States,  and  do  not  the  barristers  and  the  court  jexchange 
those  salutations  which  the  common  courtesies  of  life  not  ^nly 
sanction  but  imperatively  require  as  essential  to  the  preserva- 
tion of  mutual  respect  and  general  good  breeding  1  what  on 
airth,  said  the  Clockmaker,  can  a  black  gound  have  to  do  with 
intelligence  ?  Them  sort  of  liveries  may  do  in  Europe,  but 
they  w>n*t 'convene  to  our  free  and  enlightened  citizens.  It's 
too  foreign  for  us,  too  unphilosophical,  too  feudal,  and  a  rem- 
nant  o'  the  dark  ages.  No  sir ;  our  lo wyers  do  as  they  like. 
Some  on  'em  dress  in  black,  and  some  in  white';  some  carrr 
walking-sticks,  and  some  umbrallas,  some  whittle  sticks  with 
pen-knives,  and  some  shave  the  table,  and  some  put  their  legs 
under  the  desks,  and  some  put  'em  a  top  of  them,  just  as  it 
auits  them.  They  sit  as  they  please,  dress  as  they  please, 
and  talk  as  they  please ;  we  are  a  free  people.  I  guess  if  a 
judge  in  our  country  was  to  order  the  lawyers  to  appear  all 
dressed  in  black,  they'd  soon  ax  him  who  elected  him  director- 
general  of  fashions,  and  where  he  found  such  arbitrary  power 
in  the  constitution,  as  that,  committed  to  any  man. 
,  But  1  was  agoin'  to  tell  you  'bout  the  trial. — Presently  one 
o'  the  old  lawyers  got  up,  and  said  he.  My  lord,  said  he,  I 
mumey  y^**'  lordship,  that  the  prisoner  may  bo  brought  up. 
And  if  it  warn't  a  mote  it  was  a  pity.  The  lawyer  imoted 
the  judge,  and  the  judge  moeed  the  sheriff,  and  the  sheriff 
mated  the  crowd,  for  they  all  nwMd  out  together,  leavin* 
hardly  any  one  on  them,  but  the  judee  and  the  lawyers ;  and 
in  a  few  minits  they  all  nwoed  back  ag'in  with  a  prisoner. 


TIB  TALItMAir. 


and  tiM 
;  in  gine- 
so  queer 
they  bob 

is  Majee- 

>od  sare 

larf  It's, 

Mil  joke' 

Silence, 

It  looked 

)ked  like 

ite  bands 

a  plaguy 

intry;  is 

mroftbe 

sxchanae 

not  9nT)r 

|>re8erva' 

What  on 

>  do  with 

^ope,  but 

ns.    It*s 

d  a  rem* 

hey  like. 

ne  carrr 

cks  with 

leir  legs 

ust  as  it 

r  please, 

uess  if  a 

pear  all 

director- 

•y  power 

ntly  one 
id  he,  I 
light  up. 
r  mofoed 
sheriff 
leavin' 
>»;  and 
>ri8oner. 


Tliey  seemed  as  if  thev  had  never  seen  a  prisoner  before. 
When  they  came  to  call  the  jury  they  did*nt  all  answer ;  so 
says  the  sheriff  to  me,  walk  ih  the  box— ^ou  sir,  with  the 
blue  coat.  Do  you  indicate  me,  sir  T  said  I.  Yes,  savs  he, 
I  do ;  walk  in  the  box.  I  sive  you  thanks,  sir,  says  I,  but  Td 
rather  stand  where  I  be ;  fve  no  occasion  to  sit ;  and  besides, 
I  guess,  I  must  be  a  movin.*  Walk  in  the  box,  sir,  said  he, 
and  he  roared  like  thunder.  And,  says  the  judge,  a  lookin* 
up,  and  smilin*  and  speakin'  bh  soil  as  if  butter  wouldn't  melt 
in  his  mouth,  you  nutti  walk  in  the  box,  sir.  Well,  says  I,  to  ' 
oblige  you,  says  I,  my  lord,  I  will ;  but  there  don't  seem  much 
robm  in  it  to  walk,  I  vow.  You  are  called  upon,  sir,  says  the 
iudoB,  as  a  talisman ;  take  your  scat  in  the  box,  and  be  silent. 
If  I  must,  savs  I,  I  do  supposo  I  must ;  but  I  don't  like  the 
ofike,  and  I  don't  believe  I've  got  a  marker  about  me ;  but  if 
you've  are  a  piece  of  chalk  about  you,  or  could  give  me  or  lend 
me  an  old  pencil.  III  try  to  cipher  it  as  well  as  I  can,  and  do 
my  possibles  to  give  vou  satisfaction,  my  lord.  What  are 
you  atalkin'  about,  sir  i  said  he — what  do  you  mean  by  such 
nonsense?  Why,  says  I,  my  lord,  I've  been  told  that  in  this 
country,  and  indeed  I  know  it  is  the  practice  almost  all  over 
ourn  for  the  jury  to  chalky  that  is,  every  man  chalks  down  on 
the  wall  his  vote ;  one  man  ten  pounds,  one  twenty,  another 
thirty,  and  another  fiVe  pounds,  and  so ;  and  then  they  add 
them  all  up,  and  divide  by  twelve,  and  that  makes  the  verdict. 
Now  if  I'm  to  be  talysmQn  says  I,  and  keep  county  I'll  chalk 
it  as  straight  as  a-boot>jack.  The  judge  throwed  himself  back 
in  hiB  chair,  and  turning  to  the  sheriff,  says  he,  is  it  possible, 
Mr.  Sheriff,  that  such  an  abominable  practice  as  this  exists  in 
this  country  ?  or  that  people,  under  the  solemn  obligation  of 
.  %tk  oath,  can  conduct  themselves  with  so  much  levity  as  to 
•make  their  verdict  depend  upon  chance,  and  not  upon  reason? 
If  I  was  to  know  an  instance  of  the  kind,  said  he,— and  he 
looked  battle,  murder,  and  sudden  death — I'd  both  fine  and 

imprison  the  jury — I  would,  by (and  he  gave  the  corner 

of  his  mouth  a  twist  just  in  time  to  keep  in  an  oath  that  was 
on  the  tip  of  his  tongue,)  and  he  hesitated  a  little  to  think  how 
to  get  out  of  the  scrape — at  least  I  consaited  so — ^by  and  with 
|he  full  consent  of  iny  brethren  on  the  bench. 
«  I  have  my  suspicions,  said  ihe  Clockmaker,  that  the  judge 
had  heerd  tell  of  that  practice  afore,  and  was  only  waitin'  for 
a  complaint  to  take  notice  of  it  regilar-Iike,  for  them  old  judges 


lli!t  «8  ounnvi'  as  foxes ;  <md  if 


i,  I  {Dpst  8»y  he  did  do 


m 


T^E  CLOGKMAKBR. 


;  f 


the  surprise  very  well,  for  he  looked  all  struck  up  of  a  heap, 
like  a  vessel  taken  aback  with  a  squall,  agoin*  down  stara 
foremost. 

Who  is  that  man?  said  he.  I  am  a  cl«x;kmaker,  sir^^said 
I.  I  (^idn't  ask  you  what  you  were,  sir,  says  he,  acolorin*  up, 
I  asked  you  who  you  were.  Vm  Mr.  Samuel  Slick  of  Slick- 
vilie,  sir,  says  I,  a  clockmaker  from  Onion  County,  State  of 
Connecticut,  in  the  United  St&tes  of  America.  You  are  exempt, 
said  he — you  may  walk  out  of  the  box.  Thinks  I  to  myself, 
old  chap,  next  time  you  want  a  talisman  take  one  of  your  own 
folks,  will  you  ?  Well,  when  I  looked  up  to  the  prisoner,  sure 
enough  I  seed  he  was  one  of  our  citizens,  one  "Expected 
Thorne,"  of  our  town,  an  endless  villain,  that  had  l)een  two 
or  three  times  in  the  State's  prison.  The  case  wast'a  very 
plain  one.  Captain  Billy  Slocum  produced  a  w6tch,  which  he 
said  was  his*n ;  he  said  he  went  our  arter  dinner,  leavin'  his 
watch  ahangin*  up  over  the  mantle  piece,  and  when  he 
returned  to  tea  it  was  gone,  and  that  it  was  found  in  Expected 
Thome's  possession.  Long  before  the  evidence  was  gone 
through,  I  seed  he  was  guilty,  the  villain.  There  is  a  sort  of 
freemasonry  in  hippocrasy,  squire,  you  may  depend.  It  has 
its  signs  and  looks  by  which  the  brotherhood  know  each 
other;  and  as  charity  hopeth  all  things,  and  forgiveth  all 
things,  these  appeals  of  the  elect  of  each  other  from  the  lowest 
depths  of  woe,  whether  conveyed  by  the  eye,  the  garb,  or  the 
tongue,  are  seldom  made  in  vain. 

Expected  had  seed  too  much  of  the  world,  I  estimate,  not  to 
know  that.  If  he  hadn't  his  go-to-meetin'  dress  and  looks  on 
this  day  to  do  the  jury,  it's  a  pity.  He  had  his  hair  combed 
down  as  straight  as  a  horse's  mane ;  a  little  thin  white  cravat, 
nicely  plaited  and  tied  plain,  garnished  his  neck,  as  a  while 
towel  does  a  dish  of  calves'  head — a  standin'  up  collar  to  his 
coat  gave  it  the  true  cut,  and  the  gilt  buttons  covered  with 
cloth  eschewed  the  gaudy  ornaments  of  sinful,  carnal  man. 
He  looked  as  demure  as  a  harlot  at  a  christenin'-— drew  down 
the  corners  of  his  mouth,  so  as  to  conlract  the  trumpet  of  his 
nose,  and  give  the  right  base  twang  to  the  voice,  and  turned 
up  the  whites  of  his  eyes,  as  if  he  nad  been  in  the  habit  ol 
loolfin'  in  upon  the  inner  man  for  self-examination  and 
reproach.  Oh,  he  looked  like  a  martyr ;  gist  like  a  man  who 
would  suffer  death  for  conscience  sake,  and  forgive  his  enemies 
with  his  dyin'  breath. 

Gentlemen  of  the  jury,  says  Expected,  I  am  a  stranger  and 
f  ..     .  •  .         -       -  ■    ■■      ..  ^    -    ^-  -.\       ■ 


>f  a  heap, 
wn  stam 

,  str^raid 
lorin'  up, 
of  Sliok- 
I  State  of 
B  exempt, 

0  myself, 
^our  own 
>ner,  sura 
Elxpected 
been  two 
usr  a  very 
which  he 
layin'  his 
vhen  he 
Bxpected 
'as  gone 
»  sort  of 

.  It  has 
3w  each 
veth  all 
le  lowest 
b,  or  the 

e,  not  tb 
looks  on 

combed 
J  cravat, 

a  while 
ir  to  his 
red  with 
al  man. 
w  down 
3t  of  his 

1  turuad 
habit  01 
on  and 
lan  who 
enemies 

ger  and 


■th. 


THl  TALISHAI^ 


1  lojoumer  in  this  lakd,  but  i  have  many  friends  and  receive 
much  kindness,  thanks  be  to  diving  Providence  for  all  his 

foodness  to  me  a  sinner ;  and  I  donU  make  no  doubt  that  tho* 
be  a  stranger,  his  lordship's  honor  will,  under  Providence, 
see  justice  done  to  me.  The  last  time  I  was  to  Captain  Billy's 
bouse  I  teed  his  watch,  and  that  it  was  out  of  order,  and 
1  offered  to 'clean  it  and  repair  it  for  him  for  nothin',  free 
gratis,  that  I  can't  prove.  But  I'll  tell  you  what  /  can  proves 
and  it's  a  privilege  for  which  I  desire  to  render  thanks ;  thai 
when  that  gentleman,  the  constable,  came  to  me,  and  said  he 
came  about  the  watch,  I  said  to  him,  right  oyt  at  once,  "  She's 
cleaned,  says  I,  but  wants  regulatin';  if  Captain  Billy  is  ia 
a  hurry  for  her  he  can  have  her,  but  he  had  better  l^ave  her 
two  or  three  days  to  get  the  right  beat."  And  never  did 
I  deny  havin'  it  as  a  guilty  man  would  have  done.  And,  my 
lord,  said  he,  and  gentlemen  of  the  jury  (and  he  turned  up 
his  uglv  cantin'  mug  full  round  to  the  box) — I  trust  I  know 
too  well  the  awful  account  I  must  one  day  give  of  the  deeds 
done  in  the  flesh  to  peril  my  immortal  soul  for  vain,  idle, 
•inflil  toys ;  and  he  held  up  his  hands  together,  and  looked 
upwards  till  his  eyes  turned  in  like  them  are  ones  in  a  marble 
statue,  and  his  lips  kept  amovin'  some  time  as  if  he  was  lost 
in  inward  prayer. 

Well,  the  constable  proved  it  word  for  word,  and  the  judge 
%aid  it  did  appear  that  there  was  some  mistake ;  at  all  events, 
it  did  not  appear  there  was  evidence  of  a  felonious  takin',  and 
he  was  acquitted.  As  soon  as  it  was  aver.  Expected  comes 
to  me  In  the  corner,  and,  says  he,  quite  bold  like-  Mornin', 
Slick,  how  do  you  do  ?  And  then  whisperin'  in  my  ear,  says 
hi^.  Didn't  I  do  'em  pretty  ?  cuss  'em — that's  all.  Let  old 
C!onnecticut  alone  yet — she's  too  much  for  any  on  'em,  I 
Hnow.  The  truth  is,  the  moment  I  seed  that  cussed  critter, 
that  constable  acomin',  I  seed  his  arrand  with  half  an  eye, 
f^nd  had  that  are  story  ready-tongued  and  grooved  for  him,  as 
quick  as  wink.  Says  I,  I  wish  they  had  ahanged  you,  with 
h11  my  heart ;  it's  such  critters  as  you  that  lower  the  national 
character  of  our  free  and  enlightened  citizens,  and  degrade  it 
in  th©  eyes  of  foreigners.   The  eyes  of  foreigners  be  d d  1 


Who 


cares  what  they  think  ? — and  as  for  these 
^iiey  ain't  able  to  think.     They  ain't  got  two  ideas 


said  he. 
blue  noses, 

to  bless  themselves  with, — the  stupid,  punkin-headed,  concaited 
blockheads ! — cuss  me  if  they  have.    Well,  says  I,  they  ain't 
•uch  an  enlightened  people  as  we  are,  that's  sartain,  but  thai 
6 


>**;-*.. 


*• 


iEAwX».ijiii,>*£±3^ 


THS   CLOOKMAkllnU 


ddil*t  justify  you  a  bit ;  ybu  hadn*t  ought  to  have  stoleti  that 
watch.  That  was  wrong,  very  wrong  indeed.  You  might 
have  traded  with  him,  and  got  it  for  half  nothin' ;  or  bought 
it  and  failed,  as  some  of  our  importin*  marchants  sew  up  the 
Boil-horned  British ;  or  swapped  it  and  forgot  to  give  the  eX' 
change ;  or  bought  it  and  give  your  note,  and  cut  stick  afore 
the  note  came  due.  There*s  e  thousand  ways  of  doin*  it 
htmestiy  and  legally,  without  resprtin',  as  foreigners  do,  to 
stealin'.  We  are  a  moral  people, — a. religious,  a  high-minded, 
and  a  high-spirited  people ;  and  can  do  any,  and  all  the  na« 
tions  of  the  univarsal  world,  out  of  any  thing,  in  the  hundred 
of  millions  of  clever  shifts  there  are  in  trade ;  but  as  for 
Mealin',  I  despise  it ;  it*s  a  low,  blackguard,  dirty«  mean  ac- 
tion ;  and  I  must  ^say  you're  a  disgrace  to  our  great  nation. 
An  American  citizen  never  steals,  he  only  gains  the  advan- 
t«ge.' 


.  \ 


CHAPTER  Xr. 


ITALIAN   PAINTINGS. 


Thr  next  morning  we  resumed  our  journey,  and  travelling 
through  the  township  of  Clfsments,  and  crossing  Moose  and 
Bear  rivers,  reached  Digby  early  in  the  afleruoon.  It  was  a 
most  delighJtful  drive.  XVhen  we  left  Annapolis,  the  fog  was 
slowly  rising  from  the  low  grounds  and  resting  on  the  hills, 
to  gather  itself  up  for  a  flight  into  upper  air,  disclosing,  as  it 
departed,  ridge  after  ridge  of  the  Granville  Mountain,  which 
lay  concealed  in  its  folds,  and  gradually  revealing  the  broq^ 
and  beautiful  basin  that  extends  from  the  town  to  Digby. 

t  am  too  old  now  for  romance,  and,  what  is  worse,  I  am 
corpulent.  I  find,  as  I  grow  stout,  I  grow  less  imaginative. 
One  cannot  serve  two  masters.  I  longed  to  climb  the  moun* 
xain-peak,  to  stand  where  Champlain  stood,  an'd  imagine  the 
scene  as  it  then  was,  when  his  prophetic  eye  caught  revela« 
tions  of  the  future;  to  visit  the  holy  well  where  the  rite  of 
baptism  was  first  performed  in  these  provinces ;  to  trace  the 
first  encampments, — the  ruins  of  the  rude  fortifications, — the 
first  battle-ground.  But,  alas !  the  day  is  gone*.  I  must  leave 
the  field  to  more  youthful  competitors.  I  cani  gratify  my  eye 
as  I  drive  along  the  road,  but  I  must  not  venture  into  the  for* 
Mt.    The  natural  ice-house, — ^the  cascade, — the  mountain 


'•?*. 


'  :-m- 


'H^' 


ITALIAN   PAllTTIIIOS. 


let!  that 
a  might 
■  bought 
V  up  the 

the  ex- 
ck  afore 
doin*  it 
s  do,  to 
•minded, 

the  na« 
hundired 
t  as  for 
lean  ac- 
t  nation. 
;  advan- 


.    #: 

.-■>■ 

•  •■'■• 

ravelling 
30se  and 
It  was  a 
fog  was 
the  hills, 
ng,  as  it 
in,  which 
he  broeii^ 
5by. 

>)?3, 1  am 
iginative. 
he  rooun- 
igine  the 
tt  revela- 
le  rite  of 
trace  the 
Dns, — the 
lUst  leave 
Y  my  eye 
>  the  for* 
mountain 


Jake,-— the  beaver's  dam, — the  General's  bridge, — ^the  apocry- 
phal Rosigno), — the  iron-mines, — and  last,  not  least,  the  In- 
dian antiquities, — ^in  short,  each  and  all  of  the  lions  of  this 
interesting  place,  that  require  bodily  exertion  to  be  seen,— •! 
leave  to  succeeding  travellers.  I  visit  men,  and  not  places. 
Alas !  has  it  come  to  this  at  lHat^ — to  gout  and  port  wine  1 
Be  it  so : — I  will  assume  the  privilege  of  old  age,  and  talk. 
^.  At  a  short  distance  from  the  town  of  AnnapoUs,  we  passed 
the  Court  House,  the  scene  of  Mr.  Slick's  adventures  the  pre- 
ceding day,  and  found  a  crowd  of  country  people  about  the 
door.  More  than  a  hundred  horses  were  tied  to  the  fences  on 
either  side  of  the  road,  and  groups  of  idlers  were  seen  scat- 
tered about  on  the  lawn,  either  discussing  the  last  verdict,  or 
anticipating  the  jury  in  the  next. 

I  think,  said  Mr.  Slick,  we  have  a  right  to  boast  of  the  jus- 
ticiary of  our  two  great  nations ;  for  yourn  is  a  great  nation, 
— that  t«  a  fact ;  and  if  all  your  colonies  were  joined  together, 
and  added  on  to  Old  England,  she  would  be  most  as  great  a 
nation  as  ourn.  You  have  good  reason  to  be  proud  of  your 
judiciary,  said  I;  if  profound  learning,  exalted  talent^and  in- 
flexible integrity  cun  make  an  establishment  respectable,  the 
Supreme  Court  of  the  United  States  is  pre-eminently  so ;  and 
I  have  heard,  from  those  who  have  the  honour  of  their  ac- 
quaintance, that  the  judges  are  no  less  distinguished  for  their 
private  worth  than  their  public  virtues.  I  rejoice  that  it  it  r  j 
for  I  consider  the  justiciary  of  America  as  its  shact-tincior. 
Amidst  the  incessant  change  of  men  and  institutions  'i>  on* 
spicuous  there,  this  forms  a  solitary  exception.  To  the  per- 
manency and  extensive  power  of  this  court  you  are  indcbCed 
for  the  only  check  you  possess,  either  to  popular  (um  lit  c>t 
%rbiu-ary  power,  affording,  as  it  does,  the  only  effectual  means 
of  controlling  the  conflicts  of  the  local  and  general  govern- 
ments, and  rendering  their  movements  regular  and  harmo- 
nious. 
.  It  is  so.;  said  he ;  but  your  courts  and  ourn  are  both  tarred 
with  the  same  stick, — they  move  too  alow.  I  recollect,  once  I 
:  was  in  Old  Kentuck,  and  a  judge  was  sentenciu'  a  man  to 
death  for  murder :  says  he,  **  Sooner  or  later,  punishmen'i;  is 
sure  to  overtake  the  guilty  man.  The  law  moves  slow,  but  it 
is  sure  and  sartain.  Justice  has  been  represented  with  a  heel 
of  lead,  from  its  slow  and  measured  pace ;  but  its  hand  is  a 
hand  of  iron,  and  its  blow  is  death."  Folks  said  it  was  a 
beautiful  idea  that,  and  every  chap  that  you  met  said,  Ain't 


88 


THB  CLOCRMAKVIU 


that  splendid  ?— did  ever  old  Mansfield  or  Bllen  Borough  cohm 
up  to  that? 

Well,  says  I,  they  might  come  up  to  that,  and  not  go  very 
far  neither.  A  funny  sort  o'  figure  of  justice  that ;  when  it's 
so  plaguy  heavy-heeled,  most  any  one  can  outrun'  it ;  and 
when  its  great  iron  fist  i:trikes  so  uncommon  slow,  a  chap 
that's  any  way  spry  is  e*en  a'most  surfe  to  give  it  the  dodge. 
No ;  they  ought  to  clap  on  more  steam.  The  French  courts 
are  the  courts  for  me.  I  had  a  case  once  in  Marsaill^s,  and 
if  the  judge  didn't  turn  it  out  of  hand  ready  hooped  and 
})eaded  in  less  than  no  time,  it's  a  pity«  But  I  believe  I  must 
first  tell  you  how  1  came  for  to  go  there. 

In  the  latter  eend  of  the  year  twenty-eight,  F  think  it  was, 
if  my  memory  sarves  me,  I  was  in  my  little  back  studio  to 
Slickville,  with  off  coat,  apron  on,  and  sleeves  up,  as  busy  as 
A  bee,  abronzin'  and  gildin'  of  a  clock  case,  when  old  Snow, 
the  iligger-help,  popped  in  his  head  in  a  most  a  terrible  of  a 
confiustrigation,  and  says  he,  master,  says  he,  if  there  aini 
Massa  Governor  and  the  Gineral  at  the  door,  as  I'm  alive? 
what  on  airth  shall  I  say  1  Well,  says  I,  they  have  caught 
me  at  a  nonplush,  that's  sartain ;  but  there's  no  help  for  it  as 
I  see, — she  >^  'em  in.  Mornin',  says  I,  gentlemen,  how  do ' 
you  do  ?  I  am  sorry,  says  I,  I  didn't  know  of  this  pleasure 
in  time  to  have  received  you  respectfully.  You  have  taken 
me  at  a  short,  that's  a  fact;  and  the  worst  of  it  is, — I  can't 
shake  hands  along  with  you  neither,  for  one  hand,  you  see,  is 
all  covered  with  isle,  and  t'other  with  copper  bronze.  Don't 
mention  it,  Mr.  Slick,  said  his  excellency,  I  beg  of  you  ; — the 
fine  arts  do  sometimes  require  detergents,  and  there  is  no  help 
for  it.  But  that's  a  most  a  beautiful  thing,  said  he,  you  are  « 
adoin' of ;  may  I  presume  to  chatichise  what  it  is?  Why^  ' 
said  I,  governor,  that  landscape  on  the  right,  with  the  great 
white  two-story  house  in  it,  bavin'  a  washin'  tub  of  apple 
sarce  on  one  side  and  a  cart  chockfull  of  punkin  pies  on 
t'other,  with  the  gold  letters  A.  P.  over  it,  is  intended  to  repre- 
sent this  land  of  promise,  our  great  country,  Amerika ;  and 
the  gold  letters  A.  P.  initialise  it  Airthly  Paradise.  Well,  says 
he,  who  is  that  he  one  on  the  left  ? — I  didn't  intend  them  let- 
ters H  and  E  to  indicate  he  at  all,  said  I,  tho'  I  see  now  they 
do ;  I  guess  I  must  alter  that.  That  tall  graceful  figur',  says 
I,  with  wings,  carryin'  a  long  Bowie  knife  in  his  right  hand, 
and  them  small  winged  figures  in  the  rear,  withiittle  rifieSj 


••^y  ;  ■ 


Sv.:v, 


igfaoome 

go  very 
when  it's 
I'  it ;  and 
Vy  a  chap 
le  dodge, 
ch  courts 
ill6s,  and 
>ped  and 
re  I  must 

k  it  wa#) 
studio  to 
I  busy  as 
d  Snow, 
Ible  of  a 
ere  aini 
m  alive! 
i  caught 
for  it  as 
how  do 
pleasure 
ive  taken 
—I  can*t 
)u  see,  is 
.  Dont 
aa ; — the 
s  no  help 
you  are  - 
f  Wh/, 
the  great 
of  apple ' 
pies  on 
to  repre- 
ka;  and 
ell,  says 
[hem  let- 
low  they 
ur',  says 
ht  hand, 
tie  rifles, 


ITALIAN   PAHfTIVOS.  Ii|; 

WW  angels  emigratin*  from  heaven  to  this  country.    H  and  E 
naeans  heavinly  emigrants. 

Its  alle — ■go—ry. — And  a  beautiful  alle — go—ry  it  is,  said 
he,  and  well  calculated  to  give  foreigners  a  correct  notion  oi 
our  young  growin'  and  great  Republic.  It  is  a  fine  conception 
that.  It  is  worthy  of  West.  How  true  to  life — how  much  it 
conveys — how  many  chords  it  strikes.  It  addresses  the  heart 
—it's  splendid. 

Hallo !  says  I  to  myself,  what's  all  this  ?  It  made  me  look 
up  at  him.  Thinks  I  to  myself,  you  laid  that  sofl  sawder  on 
pretty  thick  anyhow.  I  wonder  whether  you  are  in  rael  richt 
dor  1  airnest,  or  whether  you  are  only  arter  a  vote.  Says  he, 
Mr.  Slick,  it  was  on  the  subject  of  pictur's,  we  called.  It's  a 
thing  I'm  enthusiastic  upon  myself;  but  my  official  duties 
leave  me  no  time  to  fraternise  with  the  brush.  I've  been 
actilly  six  weeks  adoin'  of  a  bunch  of  grapes  on  a  chair,  and 
it's  not  yet  done.  The  department  of  pamtin'  in  our  Athe* 
Deum, — in  this  risin'  and  flourishin'  town  of  Slickville — is 
placed  under  ths  direction  of  the  general  and  myself,  and  we 
propose  detailing  you  to  Italy  to  purchase  some  originals  for 
our  gallery,  seem'  that  you  are  a  native  artist  yourself,  and 
have  more  practical  experience  than^  most  of  our  citizens. 
There  is  a  great  aspiration  among  our  free  and  enlightened 
youth  for  perfection,  whether  in  the  arts  or  sciences.  Your 
expenses  will  be  paid,  and  eight  dollars  a  day  while  absent  or. 
this  diplomacy.  One  thing,  however,  do /pray  remember, — 
dont  bring  any  pictur's  that  will  evoke  a  blush  ou  female 
cheeks,  or  cause  variue  to  stand  afore  'em  with  averted  eyes 
or  indignant  looks.  The  statues  imported  last  year  we  had 
to  clothe,  both  male  and  female,  from  head  to  foot,  for  they 
'  actilly  came  stark  naked,  and  were  right  down  ondecent.  One 
of  my  factory  ladies  went  into  fits  on  seein'  'em,  that  lasted 
her  a  good  hour ;  she  took  Jupiter  for  a  rael  human,  and  said 
she  thought  she  had  got  into  a  bathin'  room  among  the  men 
by  mistake.  Her  narves  received  a  heavy  shock,  poor  critter 
she  said  she  naver  would  forget  what  she  seed  there  the  long- 
est day  she  lived.  So  none  o'  your  Potiphar's  wives,  or  Su- 
sannahs, or  sleepin'  Venuses ;  such  pictur's  are  repugnant  to 
the  high  tone  o'  moral  feelin'  in  this  country. 

Oh  Lord !  I  thought  I  should  have  split ;  I  darsh't  look  up, 

for  fear  I  should  abust  out  a  larfln'  in  his  face,  to  hear  him 

talk  so  spooney  about  that  are  factory  gall.    Thinks  I  to 

myself,  how  delicate  she  is,  ain't  she !    If  a  common  marble 

8* 


".»-  ■■? 


THB  OLOCKMAKm. 


Statue  threw  her  into  fits,  what  would 


And  here  he 


n 


laughed  so  immoderately  it  was  some  time  before  he  restnned 
intelligibly  his  story. 

Well,  says  he  at  last,  if  there  is  one  thing  I  hate  more  nor 
another  it  is  that  cussecl  mock  modesty  some  galls  have,  pre* 
tendin*  theyilonU  know  nothin'.  It  always  shows  they  know 
too  much.  Now,  says  his  excellency,  a  pictur*,  Mr.  Slick, 
may  exhibit  great  skill  and  great  beauty,  and  yet  display  very 
little  desh  beyond  the  face  and  the  hands.  You  apprehend 
m^j,  don't  you  1  A  nod's  as  good  as  a  wink,  says  I,  to  a  blind 
ho)'  ;f> ;  if  1  can't  see  thro'  a  ladder,  I  reckon  I'm  not  fit  for 
tfiar.  rission ;  and,  says  I,  though  I  say  it  myself,  that 
shoiii  n't  say  it,  I  must  say,  I  do  account  myself  a  consider* 
Hl>le  o^  a  judge  of  these  matters, — I  won't  turn  my  back  on 
<.r<y  oae  in  my  line  in  the  Union.  I  think  so,  said  he,  the 
jj;];,;_  --n — ry  you  jist  show'd  me  displays  taste,  tact,  and  a 
consiiruiiate  knowledge  of  the  art.  Without  genius  th(.'re  can 
be  no  invention, — no  plot  without  skill,  and  no  character  with- 
out the  power  of  discrimination.  I  should  like  to  associate 
with  you  Ebenezer  Peck,  the  Slickville  Poet,  in  this  diplomatic 
mission,  if  our  funds  authorized  the  exercise  of  this  constitu- 
tional power  of  the  executive  committee,  for  the  fine  arts  are 
closely  allied,  Mr.  Slick.  Poetry  is  the  music  of  wwds,  music 
is  the  poetry  of  sounds,  and  painttin'  is  the  poetry  of  colours ; 
—what  a  sweet,  interestin'  family  they  be,  ain't  they  1  We 
must  locate,  domesticate,  acclimate,  and  frateraate  them  among 
us.  Conceivin'  an  el^tive  governor  of  a  free  and  lightened 
people  to  rank  before  an  hereditary  prince,  I  have  given  you 
letters  of  introduction  to  the  Eyet&liBLn  princes  and  the  Pope, 
and  have  offered  to  reciprocate  their  attention  should  they  visit 
Slickville.  Farewell,  my  friend,  farewell,  and  fail  not  to  sus- 
tain the  dignity  of  this  great  rivd  en'ifrhtened  nation  abroad- 
farewell  ! 

A  very  good  man,  the  governor,  and  a  gent-rr  ne  patriot  too, 
said  Mr.  Slick.  He  knowed  a  good  deal  about  paintin',  for 
he  was  a  sign  painter  by  trade ;  but  he  often  used  to  wade  out 
too  deep,  and  got  over  his  head  now  and  then  afore  he  knowed 
it.  He  warn't  the  best  o'  swimmers  neither,  and  sometimes  I 
used  to  be  scared  to  death  for  fear  he'd  go  for  it  afore  he'd 
touch  bottom  ag'in.  Well,  off  I  sot  in  a  vessel  to  Leghorn, 
and  I  laid  out  there  three  thousand  dollars  in  pictur's.  Rum- 
lookin'  old  cocks  them  saints,  some  on  'em  too,  with  their  long 
beards,  bald  heads,  and  hard  featur's,  bean't  they?  but  I  got   ^ 


ITALIAir  PAIHTIirOB. 


91 


«  lot  of  *wn  of  til  flzM.  I  bought  two  madonnas  I  think  they 
Oftll  tbem— bMUtlflit  Httl«  pictures  they  were  too, — but  the 
child'i  leg!  wera  lo  lMk«d  and  ondecent,  that  to  please  the 
governor  and  bif  ^tory  galls,  I  had  an  artist  to  paint  trou- 
sers, ai  d  a  pair  of  laeo  l:^ts  on  him,  and  they  look  quite 
^nteel  now.  It  improvad  *em  amnzin'ly ;  but  the  b^t  o^  the 
joke  was  tboid  Macaroni  rascals,  seein'  me  a  stranger,  thought 
to  do  me  metly  ^most  infarnal  cheats  them  dealers  too, — walk 
right  into  you  arore  you  know  where  you  be.)  The  older  a 
pictur'  was  and  th@  more  it  was  blacked,  so  you  couldn't  see 
the  tigur%  tbi  more  thev  axed  for  it ;  and  they'd  talk  and 
jabber  away  about  their  Tittyan  tints  and  Guide  airs  by  the 
hour.  How  loft  are  we,  ain't  we?  said  I.  Catch  a  weasel 
asleep,  will  you  7  ieeond>hand  farniture  don't  suit  our  mar- 
ket. We  want  pietur's,  and  not  things  that  look  a  plaguy 
sight  more  lik0  the  shutters  of  an  old  smokehouse  than 
paintin's,  and  i  hepe  I  may  be  sbot  if  I  didn't  get  bran  new 
ones  for  half  the  priee  they  asked  for  them  rusty  old  veterans. 
Our  folks  were  well  pleased  with  the  shipment,  and  I  ought  to 
be  too,  for  I  made  a  trifle  in  the  discount  of  fifteen  per  cent. 
fo»  comin'  down  handsom'  with  the  cash  on  the  spot.  Our 
Atheneum  Is  worth  seein'  I  tell  you ;  you  wont  ditto  it  easy, 
I  know }  it's  aetilly  a  sight  to  behold. 

But  I  was  agoin'  to  tell  you  about  the  French  court.  Arter 
I  closed  the  eoniarn  about  the  pictur's,  and  shipped  'em  off 
in  a  Cape  Codder  that  was  there,  I  fell  m  with  some  of  our 
folks  on  their  way  to  London,  where  I  nad  to  go  to  afore  I 
retunied  home  |  so,  lavs  I,  s'pose  we  hire  a  vessel  in  Co.  and 
go  by  water  to  Marsalfles }  we'll  get  on  faster  and  considerable 
cheaper  too,  I  ealeulate,  than  ngoin'  by  land.  Well,  we  hired 
an  Eyetolhno  t©  take  us,  and  he  was  to  find  us  in  bed,  board, 
and  liquor,  and  we  paid  him  one-third  in  advance,  to  enable 
him  to  do  it  genteel }  but  the  everlastin'  villain,  as  soon  as  he 
got  us  out  to  sea,  gave  us  no  bed-clothes  and  nothin'  to  eat, 
and  we  almost  perwhfid  with  hunger  and  damp,  so  when  we 
got  to  Marisftllles,  Mm  fri'  do,  says  I,  for  I  had  picked  up  a 
little  ^y«talian,  m&o  IViendo,  cumma  longo  alia  courto,  will 
you  ?  and  I  took  hlm  by  the  scruff  cf  the  neck  and  toated 
him  into  comU  Where  is  de  pappia  1  says  a  little  skip-jack 
of  a  FroDcb  judge,  thnt  was  chock  full  of  grins  and  grimaces 
like  a  monke  •  arter  a  pinch  of  snuff', — where  is  de  pappia  ? 
So  I  handed  him  up  the  pappia  signed  by  the  master,  and  then 
proved  how  be  ©heated  us.     No  sooner  said  than  done.  Mount 


■!)^.-:i.. 


02 


THB  CLOCKM  AKBR. 


Sheai  Buli-fn-)g,  .gave  the  ca«e  in  our  favour  in  two-twoea, 
•aid  JE«y<taliano  had  got  too  much  already,  cut  him  off  tha 
other  two-thirds,  and  made  him  pay  all  costs.  If  ho  didpU 
look  bumsquabbled  it*8  a  pity.  It  took  the  rust  off  of  him 
pretty  slick,  you  may  depend. 

Began,  he  says  to  the  skipper,  you  keep  de  hargain  next 
time ;  you  von  very  grand  damne  rogue,  and  he  shook  his 
head  and  grinned  like  a  crocodile,  from  ear  to  ear,  all  mouth 
and  teeth.  You  may  depend,  I  warn't  long  in  Marsailles  arter 
that.  I  cut  stick  and  off,  hot  foot  for  the  channel,  without 
stopping  to  water  the  horses  or  liquor  the  drivers,  for  fear 
JBj^etaliano  would  walk  into  my  ribs  with  his  stiletto,  for  he 
was  as  savage  as  a  white  bear  afore  breakfast.  Yes,  our 
courts  move  too  slow.  It  was  that  ruinated  Expected  Thorne* 
The  first  time  'he  was  taken  up  and  sent  to  jail,  he  was  as 
innocent  as  a  child,  but  they  kept  him  there  so  long  afore  his 
trial,  it  broke  his  spirits,  and  broke  his  pride, — and  he  came 
out  as  wicked  as  a  devfl.  The  great  secret  ia  speedy  juatite* 
We  have  too  much  machinery  in  our  courts,  and  I  don't  see 
but  what  we  prize  juries  beyond  their  rael  valy.  One  half  the 
time  with  us  they  donU  onderstand  a  thing,  and  the  other  half 
they  are  prejudiced.  True,  said  I,  but  they  are  a  great  safe- 
guard to  liberty,  and  indeed  the  only  one  in  all  cases  between 
the  government  and  the  people.  The  executive  can  never 
tyrannize  where  they  cannot  convict,  and  juries  never  lend 
themselves  to  oppression.  Tho'  a  corrupt  minister  may 
appoint  corrupt  jud^s,  he  can  never  corrupt  a  whole  poople. 
Well,  said  he,  far  he  it  from  me  to  say  they  are  no  use, 
because  I  know  and  feel  that  they  are  in  sartain  cases  most 
invaluable,  but  I  mean  to  say  that  they  are  only  a  drag  on 
business,  and  an  expensive  one  too,  one  half  the  time.  I 
want  no  better  tribunal  to  try  me  or  my  cases  than  our 
supreme  judges  to  Washington,  and  all  I  would  ax  is  a 
resarved  right  to  have  a  jury  when  I  call  for  one.  Tliat 
right  I  never  would  yield,  but  that  is  all  I  would  ax.  You 
can  see  how  the  lawyers  valy  each  by  the  way  they  talk  to 
'em.  To  the  court  they  are  as  cool  cucumbers, — dry  argu- 
ment,  sound  reasoning  an  application  to  judgment.  To  the 
jury,  all  fire  and  tow  and  declamations, — all  to  the  passions, 
prejudices,  an'  feelin's.  The  one  they  try  to  convince,  they 
try  to  do  the  other.  I  never  hoerd  tell  of  judges  ohalkin'.  I 
know  brother  Josiah  the  lawyer  thinks  so  too.    Says  he  to 


'-'^?;' 


SHAMNOIire  THE   CKOLISH. 


98 


wo-twoeit 

m  off  the 

bo  didn't 

>ff  of  him 

rgain  next 

shook  his 

all  mouth 

lilies  orter 

)1,  without 

},  for  fear 

tto,  for  he 

Yes,  our 

d  Thome. 

he  was  as 

I  afore  his 

d  he  came 

ly  juUibe, 

[  donH  see 

le  half  the 

other  half 

7reat  safe* 

!S  between 

:an  never 

never  lend 

ister  may 

>le  people. 

e  no  use, 

ases  most 

a  drag  on 

time.     I 

than  our 

ax   is  a 

ne.     Tliat 

ax.     You 

ey  talk  to 

dry  argu- 

,     To  the 

passions, 

ince,  they 

alkin\    I 

lys  he  to 


Bit,  onoe,  Sam,  says  he,  they  ain't  suited  to  the  times  now 
in  all  cases,  and  are  only  needed  occasionally.  When  Jvriet 
Jirai  e&tne  into  vogve  there  were  no  judges,  but  the  devil  of  it 
IS  when  public  opinion  runs  all  one  way,  in  this  country,  you 
might  just  as  well  try  to  swim  up  Niagara  an  to  go  for  to  stem 
it,->it  will  roll  you  over  and  over,  and  squash  you  to  death  at 
last. .  You  may  say  what  you  like  here,  Sam,  but  other  folks 
may  do  what  they  like  here  too.  Many  a  man  has  had  a 
goose's  jacket  lined  with  tar  here,  that  he  never  bought  at 
the  tailor's,  and  a  tight  fit  it  is  too,  considerin*  its  made 
without  measurin'.  So  as  I'm  for  Congress  some  day  or 
another,  why,  I  gist  fall  to  and  flatter  the  people  by  chimin'  in 
with  them.  I  get  up  on  a  stump,  or  the  top  of  a  whiskey 
barrel,  and  talk  as  big  as  any  on  'em  about  that  birth>right — 
that  sheet  anchor,  tha^  mainstay,  that  blessed  shield,  that 
glorious  institution — the  rich  man's  terror,  the  poor  man's 
hope,  the  people's  pride,  the  nation's  glory — Trial  by  Jury. 


CHAPTER  XII. 


SHAMPOOING  THE  ENGLISH. 


BiOBY  is  a  charming  little  town.  It  is  the  Brighton  of  Nova 
Scotia,  the  resort  of  the  valetudinarians^f  New  Brunswick, 
who  take  refuge  here  from  the  unrelenting  fogs,  hopeless  ste- 
rility, and  calcareous  \'ater8  of  St.  John.  About  as  pretty  a 
location  this  for  business,  said  the  Clockmaker,  as  I  know  on 
in  this  country.  Bigby  is  the  only  safe  harbour  from  Blow- 
medown  to  Briar  Island.  Then  there  is  that  everlnstin'  long 
river  runnin'  away  up  from  the  wharves  here  almost  across 
to  Minas  Basin,  bordered  with  dikes  and  interval,  and  backed 
up  by  good  upland.  A  nice,  dry,  pleasant  place  for  a  town, 
with  good  water,  good  air,  and  the  best  herrin'  fishery  in 
America,  but  it  ^ants  one  thing  to  make  it  go  ahead.  And 
pray  what  is  that  ?  said  I,  for  it  appears  to  me  to  have  every 
natural  advantage  that  can  be  desired.  It  wants  to  be  made 
a  free  port,  said  he.  They  ought  to  send  a  delegate  to  Eng- 
land about  it ;  but  the  fact  is,  they  don't  onderstand  diplomacy 
here,  nor  the  English  either.   They  hav'n't  got  no  talents  that 

ivay.  ^ 

, .... ,,,  .. ,,.       -..,       .■  .  ,  * 


.^. 


04 


THB  OLOCKMAMW. 


I  guess  we  may  stump,  the  univarse  in  that  line.  O;;/ 
statesmen,  I  consait,  do  onderstand  it.  They  ^  about  «c 
beautifully,  tack  so  well,  sail  so  close  by  the  wind,  make  so 
little  lee- way,  iihoot  ahead  so  fast,  draw  so  little  water,  keep 
the  lead  agoin'  ooiistant,  and  a  bright  look-out  a>head  always ; 
it^s  very  seldom  you  hear  o'  them  runnin*  aground,  I  tell  yor. 
Hardly  any  thing  they  take  in  hand  they  don't  succeed  in. 
How  glib  they  are  in  the  tongue  too !  how  they  do  lay  in  the 
soA  sawder  1  They  do  rub  John  Bull  down  so  pretty,  it  does 
one  good  to  see  'em :  they  pat  him  on  the  back,  and  stroke 
him  on  the  cheek,  and  coax  and  wheedle  and  flatter,  till  they 
get  him  as  good-natured  as  possible.  Then  they  gist  get  what 
they  like  out  of  him ;  not  a  word  of  a  threat  to  him  tho',  for 
they  know  it  won't  do.  H  e'd  as  soon  fight  as  eat  his  dinner, 
nnd  sooner  too,  but  they  tickle  him,  as  the  buys  at  Cape  Ann 
Sixrve  the  bladder  fish.  There's  a  fish  comes  ashore  there  at 
ebb  tide,  that  the  boys  catch  and  tickle,  and  the  more  they 
tickle  him  the  more  he  fills  with  wind.  Well,  he  get's  blowed 
up  as  full  as  he  can  hold,  and  then  they  just  turn  him  up  and 
give  him  a  crack  a' ross  the  belly  with  a  stick,  and  off  he  goes 
like  a  pop-sun,  and  then  all  the  little  critters  run  hoopin'  and 
hollovvin'  like  ravin'  difsii-acted  mad — so  pleased  with  foolin' 
the  -■  i  ash 

'i"hore  are  no  people  in  t,he  univarsal  world  so  eloquent  as 
the  Americans ;  they  beat  the  ancients  all  hollor ;  and  when 
our  diplomatists  go  for  to  talk  it  into  the  British,  they  do  it  so 
pretty,  it^s  a  sight  to  behold.  Descended,  they  say,  from  a 
common  stock,  havin'  one  common  language,  and  a  commU' 
nitif  of  irUerestSt  they  cannot  but  hope  for  justice  from  a 

J  tower  distinguished  alike  for  its  honour  and  its  generosity, 
ndebted  to  them  for  the  spirit  of  liberty  they  enjoy, — for  their 
laws,  literature,  «nd  religion,— they  feel  more  like,  allies  than 
aliens,  and  more  like  relatives  than  either.  Though*unfbr- 
tunate  occurrences  may  have  drawn  them  asunder,  with  that 
frankness  and  generosity  peculiar  to  a  brave  and  generous 
■people,  both  nations  have  now  forgotten  and  forgiven  the  past, 
and  it  is  the  duty  and  interest  of  each  to  cultivate  these  ami- 
cable relations,  now  so.  happily  existing,  and  to  draw  closer 
tiiose  bonds  which  unite  two  people,  essentially  the  same  in 
habits  and  feelings.  Though  years  have  rolled  by  since  they 
leit  the  paternal  roof,  and  the  ocean  divides  them,  yet  they 
cannot  but  look  back  at  the  home  beyond  the  waters  with  a 
grateful  remembrance — with  veneration  and  respect. 


SHAMPOOIirO   TRB    BWOLISH. 


05 


kt  line.  O;;/ 
r  ^  about  90 
irind,  make  so 
le  water,  keep 
-head  always ; 
ind,  I  tell  yoi'. 
h  succeed  Id. 
^  do  lay  in  the 
pretty,  it  does 
k,  and  stroke 
latter,  till  they 
f  gist  get  what 
>  him  tho\  for 
eat  his  dinner, 
B  at  Cape  Ann 
ishore  there  at 
the  more  they 
e  get's  blowed 
rn  him  up  and 
nd  off  he  goes 
in  hoopin'  and 
;d  with  foolia* 

o  eloquent  as 
or ;  and  when 
they  do  it  so 
y  say,  from  a 
Bind  a  commu' 
ustice  from  a 
ts  generosity, 
oy, — for  their 
ke,  allies  than 
'hough*unfbr- 
ler,  with  that 
ind  generous 
iven  the  past, 
te  these  ami- 
draw  closer 
the  same  in 
y  since  they 
m,  yet  they 
aters  with  a 
set. 


Now  that's  what  I  call  dictionary,  said  the  Clockmaker. 
It's  splendid  penmanship,  ain't  iti  When  John  Adams  was 
minister  at  the  Court  of  St.  Jimes's,  how  his  weak  eye  would 
have  sarved  him  auttcrin'  off  this  galbanum,  wouldn't  iti 
He'd  turn  round  to  hide  emotion,  druw  forth  his  handkerchief 
and  .wipe  off  a  manly  tear  of  genutetne  feelin'.  It  is  easy 
enough  to  stand  a  woman's  tears,  for  they  weep  like  -hilda 
everiastin'  sun  showers;  they  cry  as  bad  as  if  they  UH^d  • 
chesnut  burr  for  an  eyestone;  but  to  see  the  t(^ar  drawn  -i> 
the  starn  natur'  of  man,  stortin'  at  the  biddin'  of  geni  1 
feelin',  there's  no  standin'  that.  Oh  dear  I  how  John  Lu<4 
swallers  this  sofl  sawder,  don't  he?  I  think  I  see  him 
astandin*  with  his  hands  in  his  trousers-pockets,  alookin'  as 
big  as  all  out-doors,  and  as  sour  as  cider  sot  out  in  the  sun  for 
vinegar.  At  first  he  looks  suspicious  and  sulky,  and  then  one 
hauty  frown  relaxes,  and  then  another,  and  so  on,  till  all 
starnness  is  gone,  and  his  whole  face  wears  one  great  benev- 
olent expression,  like  a  full  pnoon,  till  you  can  eye  him  with" 
out  winkin',  and  lookin'  about  as  intelligent  all  the  time  as  a 
skim-milk  cheese.      Arter  his  stare  in  gone,  a  kind  o'  look 

6omes  over  his  face  as  if  he  thought.  Well,  now,  this  d d 

Yankey  sees  his  error  at  last,  and  no  mistake ;  that  comes  o' 
that  good  lickin'  I  give  him  last  war :  there's  nothin'  like 
fightin'  things  out.  The  critter  seems  humble  enough  now 
tho' ;  give  me  your  :fist,  Jonathan,  my  boy,  says  he ;  don't 
look  so  cussed  dismal :  what  is  it  1 

Oh,  nothifi',  says  our  diplomatist  ,*  a  mere  trifle,  and  he 
tries  to  look  as  onconcarned  as  possible  all  the  time ;  nothin' 
but  What  your  sense  of  justice,. for  which  you  are  always  dis*" 
tlnguished,  will  grant;  a  little  strip  of  land,  half  fog  half  bog, 
atween  the  State  of  Maine  and  New  Brunswick ;  it's  nothin* 
but  wood,  water,  and  snakes,  and  no  bigger  than  Scotland. 
Take  it,  and  say  no  more  about  it,  says  John ;  I  hope  it  will 
be  accepted  as  a  proof  of  my  regard.  I  don't  think  nothin'  of 
half  a  colony.  And  then  when  our  chap  gets  home  to  the 
President,  doesn't  he  say,  as  Expected  Thome  did  of  the  Blue* 
nose  jury,  "  Didn't  J  do  him  pretty  ?  cuss  him,  thaVs  all."  -^ 

Then  he  takes  Mount-Sheer  on  another  tack.  He  desires 
to  express  the  gratitude  of  a  free  and  enlightened  people  to 
the  French, — their  first  ally,  their  dearest  friend, — for  ena- 
Min'  them  un<ier  Providence,  to  lay  the  foundation-stone  of 
their  country.    They  never  can  forget  how  kindly,  how  di§ 


4r 


IMAGE  EVALUATION 
TEST  TARGET  (MT-3) 


1.0 


I.I 


11.25 


■^  Hi    115 

US 

122 


■  4.0 


lU 


I 

mil 


2.0 


■tut. 

U    11.6 


Photographic 

Sdences 

Corporation 


^^---^V 


r/. 


^ 


23  WEST  MAIN  STREET 

WEBSTER,  N.Y.  14S80 

(716)  t72-4S03 


^ 

c^^ 

^^^ 


.^ 


N 

iiil(ra«M«%,  tbey  atiM)!  ia  to  aid  their  infiuit  itrngglM»»  to 
iMusl  tbem  tojnesift  Uw  unnatuml  tynmay  of  £Q|^B4k  wlnsi 
wbile  afisctia*  to  proteot  liberty  abroad^  vaa'  Miekm^  hes 
cUldven  to  home.  Nothin'  but  the  purest ieaii»\  tiaalloyed 
by  aoy  jealouey  of  Eogland,  dictatea  thatfrti^f  iit  aiaawitBd 
finofii  a  virtuoue  indiffaatioii  at-wein'  the  atrGag  mniB^he 
weak,— from  a  love  of  constitutional  freedoai«p--mNn  pare 
l^ilaathropy.  How  de<|>ly  is  seated 'in  American  Ineaatai^a 
yeneration  of  the  French  character !  how  thmr  adaaire  ^tir 
sincerity  ;  tlMar  good  iaith ;  ftheor  staUl^y  1  Well  may  thsy 
be  oalled  the  Grand  Nation ! .  Religious,  not  iHgoted ;  l»ai«, 
90t  rash;  dignified,  not  volatile;  great,  y^t  not  vaiol  liag* 
nanimous  in  success,^— cheerful  aui  resolved  under  reveissa* 
-^hejc.  form  the  beau  ideal  to  American  youth,  who  are 
taught  in  their  first  lessons,  to  emulate,  and  imitate,  andveoew 
fate  the  virtues  of  their  character  I  Don't  it  run  off -^m 
tOMue  like  oil  ?  Soft  and  slick,  nin*t  it  pretty  talk  t  >  >>? 
.  £ordl  how  Mount-Sheer  skips,  and  hc^,  and  bows,  and 
•ourks,  wh^i  be  hears  that  are,  d^'t  bet  How  b6  di4»  hb 
hand  upon  his  heart,  «nd  makes  facea  like  a  raonfcejr  that'a 
.  pot «  pain  in  his  side  from  swallowin*  a  nut  without  «nidun* 
It.  With  all  other  folks,  but  these  great  powers,  it's  aveary 
dk^ferent  tune  they  siug.  They  make  short  metre  with  them 
little  powers;  they  never  take  the  trouble  to  talk  mudi;  they 
gist  make  their  demands,  and  ax  then^fbr  their  answer,  r%hl 
<oS  the  reel.  If  they  say,  let  us  hear  your  rea8ons,r-Oh,  by 
ail  means,  says  our  diplomatist,  just  eome  along  with  me|  and 
he  tekes  the  minister  under  his  arm,  walks  lock  and  lodi  wilh 
him  down  to  the  harbour,  claps  him  aboard  a  barge^  and  fows 
him  off  to  one  pf  our  little  hundred-gun  sloops  of  war.  Pretty 
little  sloop  o'  war,  that  of  ouro,  I  reckon,  ain't  tt?  says  ha 
Oh i  very  pretty,  very  pretty  indeed,  says  foreigner;  bat  if 
that  be  your  little  sloop,  what  must  be  your  grtat  big  took  o* 
war?  That's  just  what  I  was  agoin*  for  to  say,  saya  Jona* 
tban,-Hi  Leviathan,  a  Mammoth,  blow  all  creati<m  to  atooM 
a'moBt,  like  a  hurricane  tipt  with  lightning,  andvthenbe  bipka 
.up  to  the  captain  and  nods.  Says  he,  Captain,  I  gaass  yeii 
amy  vun  out  your  guns,  and  he  runs  thooa  out  «s  qukAi  as 
wink*  These. are  my  reasons,  says  Jonatbaa,  and  pi«tty 
stropg  arguments,  too,  I  guess ;  that'a  what  I  call  ^lowitt^  oitiir 
teeth}  and  now  you,  mister,  with  a  d  a  hard  uaoNi,  your 
wawer,  if  yov  please.    You  don't  understand  ua»  Imm^t' 


SHAMMfliffS  TBB>  KmiLISa. 


rngghii»'to 

nUKne?  hut 
^*,  UMUogwd 
Mmmmntd 
oppnttihe 
-^rom  para 

idmire  iHmt 
all  may  they 
oted^  bmw, 

)«r  rareiMt* 
tb,  w|o  we 
te,  aaaveOB* 
rua  off  4m 
Ikt  -     '^ 
d  lioirs,  and 
hb  dapi  hia 
oonkey  thKt*a 
hout«i«duii* 
g,  k*8  a  very 
re  with  them 
miidi}  thejr 
tnswer,  right 
iB8,r<-0h»  hy 
nthmaiaod 
ind  lodiwiA 
ge^aadfowi 
war.  Pretty 
HI  saya  be 
goer;  bat  if 
a  big  moko* 
r,  saya  Jona^ 
ioa  to  atooM 
ben  be  looln 
I  gaan  yea 
«■  quidtiaa 
,  and  fietty 
ebowis^oult 

iiaflMi  ycmr 
I«Qe»for- 


«gol  ebapa 


that 


■taild 


onroDuiitry 
iMe  of  the  MiaraMppi,  and  kill  a  racoon  on  t*otber  tide  with 
a  aoeewr--rigular  ribg4ail  roarers;  dont  provoke  tn;  il 
woal^*t  be  over  aafe^  I  aasure  you.  We  can  out  talk  tlmn* 
der,  otttmn  a  fleth  of  Kghtnio'*  and  outreach  all  the  world— w« 
ean  whip  our  weight  of  wiidK»t8.  T^  British  can  Uck  all 
the  work!,  and  we  can  lick  the  British.  I  believe,  I  believe^ 
•ays  he,  and  be  claps  bis  name  to  the  treaty  in  no  time.  We 
SMide  these  second-class  gentry  shell  out  a  considerable  ot 
cash,  these  few  years  past,  on  one  excuse  or  another,  and 
firightened  some  on  them,  as  the  naked  statue  did  the  factory 
flail,  into  fits  a'most.  But  the  English  we  have  to  soft  saw* 
der,  Ant  they  Ve  got  little  sloops  o*  war,  too,  as  well  as  we 
have;  and  not  only  show  their  teeth,  but  bite  like  bull*dc^8<« 
We  shampoo  tbero, — ^you  know  what  shampoping  b,  squire, 
doB^t  you?  It  is  an  Eastern  custom,  I  think,  said  I :  I  havd 
heard  of  it,  but  I  do  not  retain  a  very  distinct  recollectten  ti 
the  practice.  Well,  said  the  Clockmaker,  I  estimate  I  ought 
to  JuMw  what  it  means  any  bpw;  for  J  came  ptaguy  mgh 
bun*  my  life  by  it  once.  When  I  was  gist  twenty  years  gw, 
f  took  it  into  my  bead  Td  like  to  go  to  sea,— so  fiither  got  me 
~a  berth  of  supercargo  of  a  whaler  at  New  Bedford,  and  away 
we  wait  arter  sperm:  an  amazin*  long  voyage  we  bad  of  it 
too-^|oae  nearly  three  years.  Well,  we  put  into  Sandwich 
MancTfor  refreshments ;  and  says  the  captain,  'Spose  we  go 
and  call  on  the  queen  I  So  all  us  cabin  party  went  aM 
dnssed  ourselves  up  fiili  fig,  and  were  introduced  in  due  form 
to  the  young  queen.  Well,  she  was.a.rael,  right  down,  pr;;t(y 
lodEiB*  heifer,  and  no  mistake ;  well  dressed  apid  well  dcniain- 
ed,  and  a  plaguy  sight  clearer  skin'dtfaan  some  white  folks— 
for  they  bathe  every  day  a*mo8t.  Where  you*d  see  one  piecei 
of  fiimiture  better  than  her,  you'll  see  fifty  worser  ones,  :i 
know.        ' 

What  is  your  fether,  Mr.  Shleekt  says  she.  A  prince, 
iaam,iMud  I.  And  his*n,  ugly  man's  7  says  she  pintin'  to  the 
aqBtaini.  A  prince  too,  said  I,  aiid  all  this  party  are  princes f 
fi^bentaU  sovmeigns  to  home— no  bi^er  men  than  them, 
nailer  4here  nor  any  where  else  in  the.  univarsal  world* 
Then,  said  she,  you  all  dine  wid  me  to-day ;  me  proud  to; 
have  de  foinehea  to  my  table. 

-  If  aba  didn't  give  us  a  rigular  blow-out,  it's  a  pity,  and  tb*. 
wbola  an  ua  ^re  mora  than  half-seas  over  {  for  my  part,  the 
9 


if''  ra»  OMimMimmr '■''■' 

bot  ttullAd^  wine  actilly  made  me  feel  Kke  a  pr(Boe,<Mid"wfal^ 
fjot  me  in  tip-top  spi^ti  was  the  i^  of  the  boax  I  alayad  eff 
on  her  about  our  bein'  prtnoes ;  and  tbdb  my  rotf  muM  and 
youlb  pleased  her  ibncy,  so  that  she  was  onoomnRon  esrQ  ts 
me— talked  to  no  one  ^se  a*most  Well,  wkMi;iM9  rase  from 
table,  (for  she  stayed  tli^  tilt  the  wine  made  lier  eyes  twiidEle 
•g*in,)  prince  Shleek,  said  she,  atakin*  o*  my  band,  and  pn^ 
tin^  her  mocy  Uttle^mug  close  up  to  me,  (and  she  raeliy  did 
Ipok  pretty,  all  smiles  tuid  sweetneisB,)  Prince  Shleek,  wilt  jroii 
bave  one  shampoo  T  said  she.  A  shampoot  said  f;  to  be  sore 
I  will,  and  thank  you  too;  you  are  sist  the  gall  I*d  like  to 
i^ampoo,  and.1  clapt  my  arms  round  her  ne^,  and  gave  bet 
a  buss  that  made  all  ring  ag'in.  What  the  devil  are  yoa  irt  f 
said  the  captain,  and  he  sdaed  me  round  the  waist  and  l|i88>d 
me  o£  Do  you  want  to  lose  your  head,  you  ibol,  yon  i  said 
he;  you've  carried  this  joke  too  far  already,  without  tUa 
rom|Mn*--^  aboard.  It  was  lucky  for  me  she  had  a  wee  drop 
'in  her  eye,  herself— -for  arter  the  first  scream,  she  buried  ready 
to  split :  says  she.  No  kissy,  no  kissy — shampoo  is  shampoo  j 
^  but  Kissy  is  anoder  ting.  The  noise  brought  the  servants  in, 
and  says  the  queen,  p*inting  to  me,  **  s^mpoo  bim**—«ancl 
they  up  with  me,  and  mto  another  room,  and  before  I  could 
say  Jack  Robinson,  off  went  my  clothes,  and  I  was  gettin* 
shampooM  in  aimest  It  is  done  by  a  gentle  pressiHe,  uid 
rubbin*  all  over  the  body  with  the  hand ;  it  is  deUghtfol— 
fbat*s  a  foot,  and  I  was  soon  asleep.  " ' 

I  was  pretty  well  corned  that  artemoon,  but  still  I  bnew 
what  I  wail  about ;  and  recollected  wbbn  I  awoke  the  whisper 
of  the  captain  at  partin'^-**  Mind  your  eye.  Slick,  if  ever  you 
want  to  see  Cape  Cod^ag'in."  So,  airiy  next  iltomin*,  while 
it  was  quite  moony  yet,  f  went  aboard,  and  the  tentain  seen 
put  to  sea,  but  not  before  there  came  a  boat-load  m  pigs  and 
two  buU^  ^  off  to  "Prince  Shleek.**  So  our  diplomatists 
abampoc  English,  and  put  *eih  to  sleq>.    How  beau^l 

they  sbampoo'd  them  in  the  fishery  story !  It  was  agreed  we 
was  to  fish  within  three  leagues  of  the  coast ;  ^bot  then,  says 
Jonathan,  wood  and^ater,  you  know,  and  shelter,  when  it 
blows  like  great  ^ns,  are  rights  of  hospitality.  Y)ou  woittdn't 
refuse  us  a  port  m  a  storm,  would  you  7  so  noble,  m>  humane, 
so  liberal,  so  confidin*  as  you  be.  Certainly  not,  saysJoluB. 
BaU;  it  would  be  inhuman  to  refUse  eitbmr  dielteF,  wood,  mr 
water.    Well  then,  if  there  was  are  a  sni^  litda  cove  ad  sol* 


enedfeaDd 

or  rOM  HOW 

jreitwialde 
idt  aad  p«^ 
rraeHvdUd 

I  tobeioro 
I*d  like  to 
■d  gave  Iwr 
ftieyoairtt 
and  lagged 
,  yoat  Mid 
vitkoat  thb 
lairaedrap 
buried  raadf 
■  ■hampoa; 
sartanteia, 
kiin**-^-«ad  • 
iforeloould 
was  gettia* 
nmamtttad 
deKgbtfttl-*- 

still  I  koofir 
tkewhisfier 
f  if  ever  you 
>rain%  wbile 
antain  toon 
•r  pige  and 
dipimnatiats 
owbeanaliil 
•  agreed  we 
it  tken,tay« 
ter,  wken  it 
Km  wo«ttda*t 
eolniiBane, 
tyiaysJokn 
er,  iraod,  or 
BOfeaotMl* 


MiiMfiimq  vmrn  woush.  H 

iftd,  Charted  lUie,  would  yoa  have  any  olgection  to  oor  drvin* 
our  fidi  tbere,9«-4h^  might  epiloy  you  know,,ao  iar  mMii 
AQB>e—«^  little  act  oC  kindness  like  that  would  bind  ut  to  yoo 
lor  ever,  and  ever,  and  amen.  Certainly,  says  Johp,  it*s  very 
reasonable  tha(--*you  are  perfectly  welcome — bappv  to  Qblifp 
you.  It  was  all  we  wanted  an  excuse  for  enterin',  and  now 
iwe  are  in  and  out  when  we  please,  and  smuggle  liks  all  ven* 
geaoce.}  got  the  whole  trade  and  the  whole  &hery.  It  wal 
aplcndidiy  done,  warn*t  it?     , 

,'  Well,  then,  we  did  manage  the  boundary  line  capitally  too. 
We  know  we  bavVt  got  no  title  to  that  land— tt  toa«i*<  givm 
i9usbff  ike  tretUift  and  it  wanCt  in  twr  jwfsewum  wAea  tsa 
deelartd  independence  ormade  peSee^  But  our  maxim  is,  il 
is  .better  to  get  things  by  treaty  than  by  war;  it  u  more  Chris- 
tian-fike,  ai^  more  intellectual.  To  gain  that  land,  we  asked 
tha  navigation  of  the  St.  Lawrence  and  the  St.  John,  Which 
we  knew  wouldjiever  be  granted;  but  then  it  gave  us  some* 
thin*  to  encode  on  our  part,  and  brag  on  as  liberal,  and  it  la 
naleral  and  right  for  the  English  to  concede  on  their  mi» 
aomethia'  too^— so  they  will  concede  the  disputed  territory. 
.  Ah,  aquir^,  sud  he,  your  countrymen  may  have  a  good 
heart  and  I  believe  they  have ;  indeed,  it  wouici  be  strange  if 
afiill  puss  didn*t  make  a  full  heart;  but  they  have  a  most 
^aguy  poor  head,  that's  a  fact  This  was  rather  too  bad. 
To  be  nest  imposed  upon  and  then  ridiculed,  was  paying 
rather  too  heavy  a  penalty  for  either  negligence  or  ignorance* 
There  was  unhappily  too  much  truUl  in  the  remark  for  me-to 
join,  in  the  laugh.  If  your  diplomatists,  said  I,  have  in  one  or 
two  instances  been  successful  by  departing  from  the  plain  in* 
4eiUgiUe  path,  and  resorting  to  flattery  and  cunning,  Tarts  in 
which  I  regrat  to  say  diploma^ts  of  all  nations  are  but  too 
apt  to  indulge,)  it  isra  course  which  carries  its  own  cure ;  and, 
by  raising  suspicion  and  distrust,  will»hereafler  impose  diffi- 
culties in  their  way  even  when  their  objects  are  Intimate  and 
juat*  I  should  have  thought  that  the  lesson  read  on  a  cele- 
luratod  occasion  (which  you  douUless  remember)  by  Mir.  Can- 
ning, would  have  dictated  the  necessity  of  caution  for  the 
fiiUuBB.  Recolleet  that  confidence  once  withdrawn  is  seldom 
restored  again.  Ypu  have,  however,  omitted  to  state  your 
policy  with  Russia.  Oh !  said  he.  Old  Nick  in  the  North  is 
sarvod  in  the  same  way. 
Bxcuae  me,  afud  I,  (for  I  felt  piqued,)  but  if  you  will  per- 


•* 


Ml  mt  I  will  iiigfMl  fome  obMTvttkNM  to  you  relotivo  lo 
AvmU  Ihal  RNiy  not  h«vo  oocurrod  to  you.  Your  diplo- 
iMHiII  miMht  iddnM  Iko  Bmpwror  thus :  May  it  plaoM  your 
MiOfMiyi  iMft  If  an  Mtoniahing  rewmbUnce  betwatn  our  two 
M^ntrMit  itt  Iket  thoft  !•  Uttle  or  no  difibrtnoe  oiotpt  In 
ntmot-^bt  tamt  OMt  of  oountenancoi  Mtne  AiniUy*lHcoQM% 
MiM  Tartar  proMotlty  to  changt  abode.  All  extromea  meat* 
Tm  laka  of  ft>lK*a  haada  wtthout  law,  ao  do  our  moba.  You 
aand  Apttowa  to  Slbai  ia,  our  moba  aend  tbom  to  tbo  devil.  Nia 
|iO#or  on  alrth  can  raatrain  you,  no  power  on  airtb  oan  reatraiu 
•ur  mobi*  You  make  lawa  and  break  *oni  as  auita  your  oon« 
fflibnooi  10  do  our  ly^ehera.  You  don't  allow  any  one  to^ 
•port  opinloila  vou  donH  liold,  or  you  ttifle  therh  and  their 
oMnkNM  loo.  It*a  iuat  ao  with  ua  { our  Tolka  ibrbid  ati  talking 
dboui  nlgmra  i  and  if  a  man  forgeta  himaelf,  he  ia  vemiiidea 
•f  M  by  Ilia  head  iupporting  hia  body  iastoad  of  hia  heela«r 
You  havt  got  a  liquorish  mouth  for  Ibrtile  lands  beyond  yam 
b^rdarai  lo  hav«  we ;  and  yet  both  have  got  more  land  thail 
iMMQii*  You  (bmen^  troublea  among  your  neighbours,  and 
Ifien  Hep  In  to  keep  the  peace,  and  hold  poasession  when  yotf 

R  there,  fo  do  we.    You  are  a  great  slave  holder,  ao  are  we. 
ki  aoouae  you  of  atealin*  Poland,  the  same  libellin*  villaint 
aceuio  ua  of  atealin*  Texas,  and  a  desire  to  have  Canada  too| 
and  yot  the  one  ia  an  much  without  foundation  as  the  otberi^ 
You  plant  coloniea  In  Tartar  landa,  and  then  drive  out  than 
oWBtrat  wa  aarvo  the  Indians  the  same  way.    You  havif» 
axtarminatad  aome  of  your  enemiea,  we^ve  exterminated  aome 
ofoum*    Soma  ftlka  aay  your  empire  will  split  to  pieoee-r 
it*t  too  big  I  the  ideilticaf  aame  prophecy  they  make  of  ua, 
and  one  ia  Just  aa  likely  aa  the  other.    Every  man  in  Russiar^^ 
must  bowto  the  piotur*  of  his  Emperor ;  every  man  must  bow 
to  the  plolur*  of  our  great  nation,  and  swear  through  thick 
BAd  thin  he  admlrea  Itlhore  nor  any  thing  on  the  face  of  th6 
alrth.    Bvery  man  in  Russia  may  say  what  he  likea  tf  Ae 
4§f§t  BO  he  may  In  the  lAnited  States.    If  foreian  newspapera 
abuaui' PoUi«h  mattera  get  into  the  Russia  mail,^  maiLla 
broken  open  and  they  are  taken  out :  if  abolition^  ^pere  gel 
iRlo  tha  Boutham  mail,  our  folks  braak  open  the  bags  an^ 
bum  *oiiit  aa  they  did  at  Charleston.    The  law  inatitutea  no- 
inqulHaa  in  vour  dominions  as  to  your  a^ts  of  execation,. 
apoliationt  and  exile}  neither  is  there  any  inquest  with  ua  on^ 
atnUar  acta  of  our  moba.    There  is  no  fteettMoaof  dm  preia 


rel«Uv»  W 

four  diplo* 
>lMMyour 
•n  oar  two 
I  esotpt  Iq 

BRIM  ttMOlk 
lObt.     Yo« 
devil.   N» 
an  rwtrain 
I  your  ooAo 
any  om  to 
I  and  ibair 
aH  talkinc 
I  vemmdeq 
hn  hoela*^ 
syond  youf 
>  land  thai^ 
ibourt,  an#| 
I  when  yjMf* 
•o  are  we. 
Un*  villaint  ( 
anada  too  f  • 
the  other. 
?e  out  then 
You  haver 
dated  aome 
to  pieoet-" 
ake  of  vt»t! 
in  Rusak^' 
must  bow 
>ttgh  (hioir 
ace  of  th^ 
Ikes  \f  he 
lewspapera 
maiLIt 
^peragel 
bags  and 
ititutea  no^ 
exectttiottr 
rith  tMfon^ 
^  pren 


pumva  A  MOT  tir  it.  101 

iHth  yoa,  neilher  ia  there  with  ua.  If  a  peper  oflhida  you, 
you  atop  it  I  if  it  oflhnda  our  eoverefgna,  they  bretk  the 
maohiQery,  jnit  the  houie,  and  throw  the  tvpee  Into  tht 
afreet;  and  Ir  the  printer  eacapee,  he  may  thank  God  Par 
giving  him  a  good  pair  of  len.  In  ehort,  they  mey  mt  to 
nim—it*!  generally  allow^  the  flreedom  of  one  country  la  m 
like  th^  oeipotiam  of  the'  other  aa  two  peei^no  aoul  could 
tell  the  diflbrenee ;  and  therefbre  there  ought  to  be  an  actual  aa . 
there  la  a  natural  alliance  between  ua.  And  then  the  ounnin* 
orittera,  if  they  catch  him  alone  where  they  won't  be  ovec* 
heard,  they  may  soft  aawder  him,  bv  tellin'*  him  they  never 
knew  before  the  blessin*  of  havin*  only  one  tyrant  instead  of 
a  thousand,  and  that  it  is  an  amendment  they  intend  to  pro- 
pose to  the  constitution  when  they  return  home,  and  hopt^ 
theyMl  yet  live  to  see  it.  Prom  this  specimen,  you  may  easily 
pdKelve  that  it  requires  no  great  penetration  or  ability  to 
debeive  even  an  acute  observer  whenever  recourse  is  had  to 
imagination  ibr  the  fiictsi  How  fhr  this  parallel  holds  good 
I  leave  you  to  judge ;  I  desire  to  offer  you  no  oflbnce,  but 
I  wish  you  to  understand  that  all  the  world  are  not  In  love 
with  your  republican  institutions  or  your  people,  and  that  both 
are  better  understood  than  you  seem  to  suppose.  Well,  well, 
saya  he^  I  did*nt  mean  to  ryle  you,  I  do  assure  you ;  but  if 
you  havnH  made  a  good  story  out  of  a  Southern  mob  or  two, 
neither  of  which  are  half  as  bad  as  your  Bristol  riot  or  Irish 
frays^  it*s  a  pity.  Arter  all,  said  he,  I  don*t  know  whether  it 
wouldn't  comport  more  with  our  dignity  to  go  straight  ahead. 
I  believe  it  is  in  politics  as  in  other  matters,  HoneHjfii  the  heel 
pelieff. 


CHAPTER  :^U. 
PUTTING  A  FOOT  IN  IT. 


•  driamusmg  trait  in  the Clockmaker's  character,  was  his 
love  of  ocmtradiction.  If  you  susjuested  any  objection  to  the 
Aftwrican  government,  he  immediately  put  himself  cmd  the 
di^aife  $  and  if  hard  pressed,  extricated  himself  by  chang- 
ing the  topic.  '  At  the  same  time  he  would  seldom  allow  me 
to  Mas  a  eulogy  upon  it  without  affecting  to  consider  the 
piaiBe  aa  nd^pplied,  and  aa  another  instance  of  **  our  not 
9* 


.  I 


midanludbg  Uwm.**  In  the  oonrw  df  our  bonvtwiUoa,  I 
bippeiMd  to  obMrve  tint  Uie  Amerieafl  gofeniimiit  WM  f«r> 
tiunly  •  very  cheap  onei  and  tbet  the  economy  pi«e«ieed 
L^^the  espeadhure  of  the  puUio  reroDue,  thougll  in  eom^ 
ipetancee  carried  so  ikr  ae  to  border  on  mteaneas,  was  cer- 
tainly a  verv  juat  aulveot  of  national  pride,  ^h,  aaid  he,  I 
4wny«  Mid,  **you  don*t  uaderttand  us/'  Nowithappene 
tSpitt  that  ia  one  of  the  few  thinga,  if  you  were  only  uvailod' 
oC  it,  that  you  could  fault  ua  in.  It  ia  about  the  moat  eoatly 
gpvei%ti9pnt  in  the  world,  ooniideriog  onr  meant.  We  are 
aiplilly  eat  ujp  by  it—* it  ia  a  most  plaguy  sore,  and  hiu  apread 
80  lixe  atatiee  that  it  haa  got  ita  root  into  the  tery  core. 
C|ieap  government  l-^well,  come  that  beats  all  1 1 

I  should  like  to  know,  said  I,  how  you  can  make  thnt 
appear,4br  the  salariea  paid  to  your 'public  officers  ar9  not 
oiiiy  amall,  but  absdutely  mean;  and,  in  my  opinion,  wHpIly 
insdeq^ate  to  procure  the  services  of  the  best  and  moat 
efficient  men.    Well,  said  he^  whfeh  costs  most,  to  keep  one  ^ 
good  horse  well,  or  half  a  doEen  pOor  ones  ill,  or  to  kofp  ten' 
rael. complete  good  servants,  or  ftfty  lazy,  idle,  doHaothin^ 
critters  t  because  that's  gist  our  case,— we  havo  too  many  6t 
*em  all  tt^her.    We  have  twenty-four  independent  statea, 
beside  the  general  government ;  we  have  theretwe  twenty-flvo 
presidents,  twenty  •five  secretaries  of  state,  twenty-five  trM- : 
si^rers,  twenty-five  senates,  twenty-five  houses  of  r^presentii-' 
tlyes,  and  fifty  attorney  generals,  and  all  our  legislators  are 
paid,.everjr  soul  of  'em ;  and  so  are  our  magiatrates,  fbr  they ; 
aU  take  fees  fmd  seek  the  office  for  pay,  so  that  we  hAte  aaj 
many  paid  legislators  as  soldiers,  ana  as  many  judges  of  all 
,  sorts  and  sizes  as  sailors  in  our  navy.    Put  all  these  ekpensea 
together,  of  state  government  and  general  government,  uid 
see  what  an  awful  sum  it  comes  to,  and  then  telV  me  it's  a 
cheap  government.    True,  said  I,  but  you  have  not  that  enor- 
mous item  of  expenditure  known  in  England  under  the  name 
of  half  pay^     We  have  more  officers  of  the  navy  on  tudf  pay 
than  you  have  in  jour  navy  altogether.    So  much  the  better 
for  you,  says  he,  tor  oum  are  all  on  fiiU  pay,  and  wlien  they 
ainH  emf^oyed,  we   set  them  down  aa  absent   on  leate* 
Which  .'Costs  the  most  da  yon  suppose  f    That  C(Mnei  of  nbC ' 
callin'  Jthings  l^  ih^  right  name!,  you  see.    Our  fblkk  know 
this,  but  our  popularity-seekin*  patriots  have  all  their  bwii 
inleyett  in  multiplying  theaaofficef,*  yesidur  ibtkl  have^" 


( 


#  » 


n711UI»  A  IMT  a  ITt     • 


ltd 


AiMoii.I 

itWMMT* 

I  in  som^ 
I,  ynu  eer* 
laid  Kf 
ithftppeM 
sly  ttvulM' 
mott  eoftly 
«  We  ■«• 
hM  ipread 
very  oot%* 

make  that 
iera  are  not 
lion,  wHpHy 
t  and  moat 
to  keep  one ' 
toke^pten 
I,  domothitt^ 
too  many  6f 
ident  atatee,  ^ 
I  twenty-five 
ty-flve  trta- 
'  r^preaenta- ' 
{istatora  are 
tea,  fbr  they; 
we  hftte  aaj 
udgea  of  all 
ekpenaea 
irnment,  and 
\\\  me  it*8  a 
)t  that  enor- 
ir  the  name 
onhalf  pfl|y 
!h  the  hotter 
wlienthey 
on  leeife. 

folk*  know 
tl  their  bwii 
Ikl  havet>tit 


4ieiriQotw4t».that*a«ikot.  Tkay  olina  to  k  ai  the  bear  did  ' 
tp  Jack  FogJerV  iniU-taw  ^  and  I  gueoaTt  wilt  nnre  them  the 
auvw  way*  Did  I  never  tell  you  Uiat  are  atory  T  for  I'm  mott 
albard  aometimea  Pve  got  father*8  fashion  of  tellin*  niy  floiiea 
over  twice.  No,  aaid  I,  it*a  new  to  me ;  I  have  never  heavd 
it*    W^l,  lays  be,  I  will  tell  you  how  it  was. 

Jack  FoglM  Uvea  to  Nictau-road,  and  he  keepa  a  law-mill 
and  tavern;  be*8  a  aneeaer  that  feller;  he*a  near  hand  to 
wven  feet  high,  with  shoulders'  as  broad  aa  a  barn-door ;  he 
ja  a  giant,  that's  a  feet,  and  can  twitch  a  milUog  as  easy  as  a 
yoke  of  oxan  can-Hsothin'  never  stops  him.    But  that's  net 
all,  (or  iSre  seen  a  man  as  iHg  as  all  out*doors  afore  him ;  but 
he  has  a'  foot  tha^  beats  all— folks  call  him  the  man  with  the 
fopt.    The  first  time  I  seed  him  I  could  not  keep  my  eyes  alt 
o{  it.    I  actilly  could  not  think  of  any  thing  else.    Well, 
says  I)  Jack,  your  foot  is  a  whopper,  that's  a  feet ;  I  never 
aeed  the  beat  of  it  in  all  my  bom  days,— ii  beats  Gasper 
Zwicher*s  all  holler,  and  his  is  so  big,  folks  say  he  has  to 
Imul  his  trousers  on  over  his  head.,    Yesy  says  he,  lawyer 
Yule  says  it  passes  all  Midersfoiultfl'.    Well,  he  has  a  darter 
^  most  as  big  as  he  is,  but  for  all  that  she  is  near  about  aa 
pretty  a  ffall  as  I  ever  laid  eyes  on,  but  she  has  her  father's 
foot ;  and,,  poor  thing,  riie  can't  bear  to  hear  tell  of  it.    I 
mind  once  when  I  came  there,  there  was  no  one  to  home,  and 
I  had  to  see  to  old  Clay  myself;  and  arter  I  had  done,  I  went 
in  and  .sot  down  by  the  fire,  and  lighted  a  cigar.    Arter  a 
while,  in  come  Lucy,  lookin'  pretty  tired.    Why,  said  f, 
Lucy,  dear,  where  on  airth  have  you'br-  a?  you  look  pn^v 
Well  beat  out.    Why,  says  she,  the  bears  fure  plaguy  thick 
this  while  past,  and  have  killed  some  of  ou&'  sheep,  scrl  went 
to  the  wooos  to  drive  the  flock  home  ag'in  night-fejl,  and  fogal 
I  lost  jny  way.    I've  been  gone  ever  so  long,  and  1  doni 
know  as  I'd  ever  afound  my  way  out  ag'in,  if  I  hadn't  a  met 
Bill  2Snk  alookin'  up  his  sheep,  and  he  showed  me  the  way  out. 

Thinks  I  to  myself,  let  the  galls  alone  for  an  excaae ;  I  see 
how  the  cat  jumps.  Well,  says  I,  Lucy,  you  are  about  the 
luckiest  gall  I  ever  seed.  Possible,  says  she;-.-how'8  thatt 
Why«  says  I,  many's  the  gall  I've  known  thaf  s  lost  her  way 
wit^  a  sweetheart  afore  now,  and  got  on  the  wrong  track ; '  but 
you!c!e  tKe  first  one  ever  I -seed  that  got  put  on  t)w  right  way 
by  one,  any  hbw.  Well,  she  larfed,  and  says  she,  you  men 
flWuya  suspect  evil;  it  shows  how  bad  you  must  be  your* 


^m 


TWB  OJOOtaUMWm, 


',*  Pirlwpi  it  mty  b«  lo,  tkj»  I,  but  mind  vour  tife,  n4 
4tkB  oAfe  you  daH*t  pui  your  fboi  in  <f.  She  looked  tt  me  the 
matter  of  a  minnit  or  ao  without  sayin*  a  word,  and  then 
bunt  out  acryin*.  She  said,  if  the  had  lueh  an  awAil  Mg 
Ibot/it  wam*t  her  (kult^  a/id  it  waa  very  onlciAd  to  larf  at  it  tS 
her  fac»— that  way.  Well,  I  felt  t>roper  sorry  too,  you  may 
depend,- Ibr  1  tow  she  waa  so  onoommon  handsom*  I  had 
never  noticed  that  big  foot  of  hem  till  then.  I  had  hardly  got 
her  pacified  when  in  come  Jack,  with  tw;o  halves  of  a  bear, 
and  threw  *«m  down  on  the  floor,  and  larfed  ready  to  kill  hfan* 
aelf.  I  never  seed  the  beat  o*  that,  said  he,  since  1  was  raised 
from  a  seedlin*.  I  never  see  a  feller  so  taken  in  all  my  life— 
that^s  a  SuH»  Why,  says  I,  what  is  it  T  It  was  some  time 
ttfore  he  could  speak  agMn  for  larfin*— fbr  Jack  was  poneider- 
able  in  the  wind,  pretty  nearly  half  shaved.  At  last,  says  he, 
you  know  my  fbilin',  Mr.  Slick ;  I  like  a  drop  of  grog  better 
than  it  liken  jne.  Well,  when  the  last  rain  eame,  and  the 
brook  was  pretty  considerable  fbll,  I  kag*d  for  a  month,  ^ttiat 
is,  said  the  Clockmaker,  he  had  taken  an  oath  to  abstain  ficom 
drawing  liquor  from  the  keg — they  calls  it  ka^in*,)  and  my 
kag  was  out  to>day  at  twelve  o*clock.  Well,  I  had  just  ffot  a 
log  on  the  ways  when  the  sun  was  on  the  twelve  o'clock  line, 
io  I  stops  the  mill  and  takes  out  my  dinner,  and  sets  it  doWn 
idn  the  log,  and  then  runs  up  to  the  house  to  draw  off  a  bottle 
of  rum.  When  I  returned,  and  was  just  about  to  enter  the 
mill,  what  should  I  see  but  that  are  bear  a  sittin*  on  the  pine 
•tick  in  the  mill  aetin'  of  my  dinner,  so  I  gint  backs  out,  takes 
m  good  swig  out  of  the  bottle,  and  lays  it  down  to  run  off  homo 
Ibr  the  gun,  when,  says  I  to  myself,  sa^s  I,  heMl  make  a 
plaffuy  sight  shorter  work  of  that  are  diiiner  than  I  would, 
ana  when  he*s  done  he*ll  not  wait  to  wipe  his  mbuth  with  the 
towel  neither.  May  be  heUl  be  gone  afore  I  gets  back,  so  I 
gist  crawls  under  the  mill — pokes  up  a  stick  through  the  j*ioQ 
and  starts  the  plug,  and  sets  the  mill  agoin'.  Well  the  motion 
was  so  easy,  and  no  was  so  busy,  he  never  moves,  and  arter. 
a  little  the  saw  just  gives  him  a  scratch  on  the  back ;  well,  he 
growls  and  shoves  forward  abit  on  his  rump;  presently  it 
gives  him  and|her  scratch,  with  that  he  wheels  short  round 
and  lays  right  hold  of  it,  and  gives  it  a  most  devil  of  a  hug 
with  his  paws,  and  afore  he  knowed  what  he  was  about  n 
immed  him  down  and  sawed  him  riffht  in  two,  fie  squelin*  tod 
kudcin'  and  singin'  out  like  a  good  feller  thew^hole  blessed 
time.    TliinkaJ,  he  ptU  hit  foot  in  it  that  feller,  any  how. 


ruTTWo  A  poor  iv  it. 


atiMtte 
and  then 
ftwAilMc 
•rfatittS 
,  you  may 
)in*  I  had 
hardly  got 
of  a  bear, 
to  kill  him. 
was  vaiaed 
I  my  Hfe— 
some  time 
I  poneider- 
it,  says  he, 
{Tog  better 
ne,  and  the 
lonth,  ^that 
bstain  firom 
I*,)  and  my 
I  iust  ffot  a 
rdock  line, 
ets  it  down 
off  a  bottle 
»  enter  the 
m  the  pine 
s  out,  take* 
m  off  home 
Ml  make  a 
m  I  would, 
th  with  the 
I  back,  so  t 
gh  the  j*ioe 
the  motion 
I,  and  after. 
c ;  well,  he 
>resently  it 
ihort  round 
il  of  a  huff 
about  it 
quelin'  imd 
oie  blessed 
ly  how. 


U  Yea,  our  folks  have  put  their  foot  in  it;  a  ekeap  iftiole  ainH 
always  the  best  i  if  you  want  a  reel  ri|hl  down  first  chop, 
genuiftne  thing,  you  must  pay  for  it.  Talent  and  integrity 
ainH  such  common  things  any  where,  that  they  are  to  be  bad 
for  half  nothin*.  A  man  that  has  them  two  things  can  go 
a-head  any  where,  and  if  you  want  him  lo  give  up  his  own 
oonaams  to  aee  arter  those  of  the  public,  and  don*t  give  him 
Ike  foir  market  price  for  *em,  he  is  plaguy  apt  to  put  his  in- 
tegrity in  )ik  pocket,  and  put  his  talents  to  usury.  What  ke 
loses  one  way  be  makes  up  another :  if  he  can*t  get  it  out  of 
his  pa^,  he  takes  it  out  of  parquesits,  jobs,  patronage,  or 
aometbin*  or  another.  Folks  won't  serve  the  pubUc  for  nothin* 
no  more  than  they  will  each  other  free-^pratis.  An  honest  man 
won't  take  office,  if  it  won't  support  him  properly,  but  a  di» 
honest  one  will,  'cause  he  won't  stand  about  triflra,  but  gosi 
the  whole  figur*--and  where^you  have  a  good  many  critters, 
as  public  servants — why,  a  little  slip  of  tlw  pen  or  trip  of  tlM 
foot,  ain't  thought  nothm'  of,  and  the  tone  of  jpublic  teeUn'  ie 
lowered,  till  at  last  folks  judge  of  a  man's  dishonesty  by  thn 
,  Vuteness  of  it.  If  the  slight-o-hand  ain't  well  done,  they  say, 
when  he  b  detected,  he  is  a  fool— <U8s  him,  it  serves  hnn 
right ;  but  if  it  is  done  so  slick  that  you  can  hardly  see  it 
even  when  it's  done  afore  your  eyes,  people  say,  a  fine  bold 
stroke  that — splendid  business  talent,  that  man— considerable 
powers — a  risin'  character — eend  by  bein'  a  great  man  in  the 
long  run. 

You  recollect  the  story  of  the  quaker  and  his  insurance, 
don't  you  1  He  had  a  vessel  to  sea  that  he  hadn't  beerd  of 
for  a  considerable  time,  and  he  v^as  most  plaguyly  afoerd  she 
had  gone  for  it ;  so  he  sent  an  order  to  bis  broker  to  insure 
her.  Well,  next  day  he  lamt  for  sartain  that  she  was  lost,  so 
what  does  he  do  but  writes  to  his  broker  as  if  he  meant  te 
4ave  the  premium  by  recolliu'  the  order :  If  thee  hast  not  Jn^ 
gured,  thee  need'st  not  do  it,  esteemed  friend,  for  I  have  heerd 
inf  the  vessel.  The  broker,  thinkin'  it  would  be  all  clear  gain, 
^foils'right  into  the  ,trap ;  tells  him  his  letter  came  too  late,  for 
be  had  efiected  the  insurance  hidf  an  hour  afore  it  arrived* 
Verily,  I  am  sorry  for  thee,  friend,  said  the  quaker,  if  that  be 
the  case,  for  a  heavy  loss  will  fall  on  thee ;  of  a  sartainty  I 
have  heerd  of  the  vessel,  but  she  is  lost.    Now  that  was  what 

eall  handsom' ;  it  showed  great  talents  that,  and  a  Jinow 
of  human  nator'  and  soil  sawder. 


106 

I  thoiigirt,  nid  I,  tliBt  your  aiinMl  mrtianiMiti,  univenal 
■uffhige^Mid  wytHtim  ot  rotation  of  oflloe;  had  a  tondepey  to 
prevant  oorruption,  by  removing  tho  moana  and  the  oppwFliK 
itAiy  to  any  extant.  Well,  it  would,  perbapa,  to  a  eaitldn 
point,  aaid  the  Qoekmaker,  if  you  knew  where  that  point 
waa,  and  could  atop  there ;  but  wherever  it  ia»  1  am  a(bafd  wn 
.have  paiaed  it  Annual  parliamenta  bring  in  ao  many  mw 
banda  every  year,  that  tliey  are  gist  like  pawna  in  the  game  ^ 
of  cheaa,  only  fit  for  toob  to  move  about  and  count  while  the  - 
nme  i»  played  by  the  bigger  ones.  Thev  get  ao  puided^- 
(he  critters,  with  the  forma  o*  the  house,  that  they  put  me  in 
mind  of  a  foliar  atandin*  up  for  the  first  time  in  a  ouadrilla. 
One  tells  him  to  croas  over  here,  and  afore  he  geta  there  an- 
nther  calls  him  back  ag'in ;  one  pushes  him  to  tha  right  and 
^•Bother  to  the  left ;  he  runs  ag'in  every  body,  and  every  body 
rana  ag'in  him ;  he  treads  on  the  heels  of  the  galls  and  tahea 
their  skin  and  their  shoes  off,  and  they  tread  on  his  toea,  and 
return '  the  compliment  to  his  corns ;  he  is  no  good  in  natte*, 
axcept  to  bother  folks  and  put  them  out.  The  old  banda  that 
have  been  there  afore,  and  cut  their  eye<teeth,  know  how  to 
bam  these  crittera,  and  make  *em  believe  the  moon  Is  made 
of  green  cheese.  That  gives  great  power  to  the  master 
movers,  and  they  are  enabled  to  spikelate  handsum  in  land 
atock,  bank  stock,  or  any  other  corperate  stock,  for  ther  can 
raise  or  depress  the  article  girt  as  they  please  by  l^slative 
action. 

There  was  a  grand  legislative  speck  made  not  long  since, 
called  the  |>reemption  specks  A  law  was  passed,  that  all 
who  had  aettled  on  government  lands  without  title,  should 
have  a  right  of  preemption  at  a  very  reduced  price,  below 
common  upset  sum,  if  application  was  made  on  a  particular 
day.  The  jobbera  watched  the  law  very  sharp,  ilnd  the  itK>- 
mant  it  paued,  off  they  sot  with  their  gangs  of  men  and  a 
magistrate,  camped  out  all  night  on  the  wild  land,  made  the 
affidavits  of  settlement,  and  run  oh  till  they  went  over  almost 
<^-«  deuce  of  a  tract  of  country,  that  was  all  picked  out  afore- 
hand  for  them ;  then  returned  their  affidavits  to  the  office,  got 
the  Inad  at  preemption  rate,  and  turned  right  roupd  and  sold 
it  at  market  price—pocketed  the  diflference — and  netted  a  oiiOBt 
handsum  thing  by  the  spec. 

Them  pet  iMinks  was  another  splendid  affiiir ;.  it  deluged  thb 
land  with  corruption  that, — it  was  too  bad  to  think  on.  Wlili 


runui*  A  vooT  u  it. 


m 


ft,  miiv«ml 

to  a  Mrthhi 
B  that  potat 

HI  ftAMQ  1Kf% 

i  nmnj  nw 
in  th»  gMM  .^ 
iBt  while  the  - 

iy  put  me  In 
I  a  auadrille. 
«■  tnere  aa- 
Im  right  and 
i  everf  bedy 
Ha  and  takea 
liietoM,  and 
lod  in  natfo*, 
Id  hands  that 
Icnow  how  to 
oon  ia  made 
the  maaler 
sum  in  land 
fortherean 
>y  legiuatiTO 

yt  long  since, 
laed,  that  all 
title,  shonld 
price,  below 
I  a  particular 
^nd  the  mo- 
men  and  a 
id,  made  the 
.  over  almost 
:ed  out  afbra- 
,he  oflfcse,  get 
upd  and  sold 
netted  a  most 

t  deluged  th^ 
Ikon.  Wlwa 


tha  gQwemoMBl^  ia  in  the  many,  as  with  ua,  and  rotation  of 
oflBoa  is  the  oider  of  the  day,  thara  ia  a  ista ral  landsney  to 
muUiptv  offisast  so  that  every  one  can  get  hia  ahara  of  ^, 
•ad it iBoreasas  espansss,  breeds  oflcessekars, and  oorrupls 
tha  whole  mass.  It  is  ia  politios  as  ia  lkrmia*r-oao  lai^ 
ihna  is  worked  at  much  lass  aapense  sod  much  greater  prom, 
•ad  is  batter  in  many  ways  than  half  a  doaen  simdl  oass  { and 
the  head  ikrmer  is  a  more  ^sponsible  man,  and  better  to  do  in 
tha  world,  and  haa  mora  influence  than  tha  small  IVy. 
Thinfi  are  better  done  too  on  kia  ftrnip— the  tools  are  bettsr, 
tha  teams  are  better,  and  the  crops  are  better :  it*s  better  allo- 
§0lhtu.  Our  first-rate  men  ain't  in  politica  with  us.  It  4lon*t 
pay  *e!n,  and  they  won't  jjo  thro*  the  mill  ibr  it.  Our  priad- 
pla  ia  to  consider  all  public  men  roaues,  and  to  watch  'em  wdl 
that  they  keep  straight.  Well,  I  am't  gisi  altogether  certified 
that  thia  don  t  help  to  make  'em  rogues ;  where  ikart  i§  as 
osif^UcaM,  thsM  MM  be  no  ktmettjf  ;  locks  and  keys  are  good 
things,  but  if  you  can't  never  trust  a  servant  with  a  key,  ha 
doaH  think  the  bettor  of  his  master  for  all  his  suspicions,  and 
is  plagu3r  apt  to  get  a  key  of  his  own.  Then  they  do  get 
Buch  a  drill  thro'  the  press,  that  no  man  who  thinks  any  great 
shakes  of  himself  can  stand  it.  A  feller  must  have  a  hide 
aa  thick  as  a  bull's  to  bear  all  the  lashing  our  public  men  gat 
tha  whole  blessed  time,  and  if  he  can  bear  it  without  wwkin*, 
it'a  more  perhiqM  than  his  &mily  can.  There's  nothin'  in 
<^ke  that's  worth  it.  So  our  best  men  ain't  in  oflice— they 
can't  submit  to  it. 

■  I  knew  a  judge  of  the  state  court  of  New  York,  a  first  chop 
man  too,  give  it  up,  and  take  the  office  of  clerk  in  the  idoiti- 
oal  same  court.  He  said  he  couldn't  afford  to  be  a  judge  |  it 
was  only  them  who  couldn't  make  a  livin'  by  their  practice 
that  it  would  suit.  No,  squire,  it  would  be  a  long  story  to  go . 
throu^  the  whole  thing;  but  we  ain't  the  cheapest  govern- 
nient  m  the  world — thars  a  fact.  When  you  come  to  visit  us 
and  go  deep  into  the  matter,  and  see  sinenl  government  and 
state  government,  and  local  taxes  and  aineral  taxes,  ahhough 
the  items  are  small,  the  sum  total  is  a  most  a  swingin'  large 
one,  I  tell  you.  You  take  a  shop  account  and  read  it  over. 
Woll,  the  thing  appears  reasonable  enoiigh,  and  cheap  enough; 
but  if  you  have  been  arunnin'  in  and  out  pretty  oilen,  and 
goia*  the  whole  figur',  add  it  up  to  the  bottom,  and  if  it  don't 
you  stare  and  look  corner  ways,  it's  a  pity. 


MS 


Tt   run  OLOOKMAnR. 


'  What  macle  me  first  of  all  think  o*  these  things,  was  seein 
>  how  they  got  on  in  the  colonies ;  why,  the  critters  don*t  pay 
.  DO  taxes  at  all  almost — they  actilly  don't  desarve  the  name 
o*  taxes.  They  don't  know  how  well  they're  oflT,  that's  sar- 
lain.  I  mind  when  I  used  to  be  agrumblin'  to  home  when  I 
was  a  boy  about  knee-high  to  a  goose  or  so,  father  used  to  say, 
Sam,  if  you  want  to  know  how  to  valy  home,  you  shoukl  go 
abroad  for  a  while  amon^  strangers.  It  ain't  all  gold,  that 
glitters,  my  boy.  You'd  soon  find  out  what  a -nice  home 
you've  got ;  for  mind  what  I  tell  you,  home  is  home,  however 
homely— that's  a  fact.  These  blue-noses  ought  to  be  gist  sent 
bway  from  home  a  little  while ;  if  they  were^  when  thev  re- 
turned, I  guess,  they'd  larn  how  to  valy  their  location.  It's  a 
lawful  colony  this,-^thing8  do  go  on  rig'lar,— a  feller  ea&  rriy 
on  law  here  to  defend  his  property,  he  needn't  do  as  I  s^ed  a 
•quatter  to  Ohio  do  once.  I  had  stopt  at  his  house  one  day  to 
bait  my  horse ;  and  in  the  course  of  corurersation  about  mat* 
4era  and  things  in,  gineral,  says  I,  What's  voar  title  1  is  it  firom 

Ssvernment,  or  purchased  from  settlers  ?-^ril  tell  you,  Mr. 
lick,  he  says,  what  my  title  is,-~and  he  went  in  and  took 
'  bis  rifle  down,  and  brought  it  to  the  door.  Do  you  see  that 
•re  hen,  said  he,  with  the  tpp-knot  on,  afeedin'  by  the  fence 
there  ?  Yes,  says  I,  I  do. — Well,  says  he,  see  that ;  and  he 
put  a  ball  right  through  the  head  of  it.  7'4af,  said  he;  I 
jreckon,  is  my  title ;  and  that's  the  way  I'll  sarve  any  tarna- 
tion scoundrel  that.goes  fot  to  meddle  with  it.  Says  I,  if  that's 
your  title,  depend  on't  you  won't  have  many  fellers  troublin* 
you  with  claims.  I  rather  guess  not,  said  he,  larfin' ;  and  the 
lawyers  won't  be  over  forrard  to  buy  such  claims  on  spekila* 
tion, — und  he  wiped  his  rifle,  reloaded  her,  and  hung  her  up 
ag'in.  ThereVnotbin'  of  that  kind  here. 
,  But  as  touchin'  the  matter  o'  cheap  government,  why  it's  as 
well  as  not  for  our  folks  to  hold  out  that  oum  is  so ;  but  the 
Iruth  is,  atween  ydu  and  me,  tltough  I  would'nt  like  you  to  let 
on  to  any  one  I  said  so,  the  truth  is,  somehow  o^  other,  we've 
fuiourfootiuit — that's  a  fact^  • 


^^'^^ 'WW^^^^^^^P       •^^^^^p^^p*'^  ^F^^^^^^^^^' "  " 


m 


:,  was  Mean 
B  donH  pay 
e  the  name 

that's  sar- 
>ine  when  I 
used  to  say, 
1  should  go 
H  ^Id  that 
-nice  home 
ne,  howerer 
be  gist  sent 
len  thev  re- 
tion.  It's  a 
Her  caQ  rely 
M  I  s^ed  a 
i  ooe  day  to 
about  mat* 
e  ?  is  it  from 
U  you,  Mr. 
n  and  took 
ou  see  that 
y  the  fence 
at;  and  he 

said  he;  I 

any  tarna- 
B  I,  if  that's 
rs  troubltn* 

' ;  and  the 
on  spekila* 
ing  her  up 

why  it's  as 
o;  but  the 
B  you  to  let 
ither,  we've 


■H 


fr.yi 


>:  ■•  ,.«ii..'.l(i« 


'<> 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

BNOLIflH  ARWroCRACT  AND  YANKEE  MOIOOJIAOy 

Wbbn  we  have  taken  our  tower,  said  the  Cloekmik«r»:l 
4HtimiMe  I  will  return  to  the  IT-nited  States  for  good  lod  i^l* 
iron  bftd  ought  to  visit  our  great  nation,  you  may  dcfelid  f  ftV 
HieittQBt  splendid  location  atween  the  poles.  History  CMU|*$ 
tfbeir  notfaio'  like  it ;'  you  might  bile  all  creation  down  to  i^l 
efsenoek  and  not  get  such  a  concrete  as  New  England.  It't  a 
•igbHt  to  behold  twelve  millions  of  free  and  enligbtened  dtlMot, 
fod  I  guess  we  shall  have  all  thesa  provinces,  and  oU  Soutb 
^kamrlof^  TliMre  is  no  eend  to  us ;  old  Rome  that  fidki  maJiw 
mmsth  a  touss  about,  was  notbin'  to  us— -it  wam't  fit  to  hoH  t 
OMdle  to  our  federal  government, — that's  a  feet.  I  iotMidt 
^d  I,  to  do  so  before  I  go  to  Europe,  and  may  perhapi  avw 
isgrsC^lf  of  your-  kind  offer  to  accompany  me.  Is  an  JBog^isli- 
man  well  received  in  your  country  now  1  WeUi  be  it  mxirt 
«iid  Mr.  Slick;  the  last  war  did  that;  we  licked  the  Bfitidli' 
«ito  a  respect  for  us ;  and  if  it  warn't  that  they  are  so  plAgtff 
jeaious  of  our  factories,  and  so  invyous  of  our  fieedonVl 
ip»ess  we  should  be  considerable  sociable,  but  they  caaH  i^ 
mac^  our  glorious  institutions  no  how.  Tkeff  danH  undenkmi 
m»  Father  and  our  Minister  used  to  have  great  argumanlf 
«b(Wt  the  British.  Father  hated  them  like  pyson,  at  most  qj( 
mt  xevolutionary  heroes  did ;  but  minister  used  to  ttend  19 
fer^em  cfwsiqerable  stifil 

I  mind  one  evooin'  orter  hay  harvest,  fether  laid  to  ma^ 
8am,  said  he,  'spoee  we  go  .down  and  see  minii^r ;  I  gueif 
be'ta little mifiey  with  me,  for  I  brought  him  up  all  ttandin' 
i'other  night  by  sayin'  the  English  were  a  damuM  overbeaiin* 
lyraiinicaT  race,  and  he  hadn't  another  word  to  tay.  Whci 
you  make  use  of  such  language  as  that  are.  Colonel  SUol;, 
said  he,  there's  on  eend  of  ail  conversation.  I  allow  it  it  very 
^srespect^  to  swear  afore  a  minister,  and  very  onhancbuiB 
to  do  so  at  all,  and  I  don't  approbate  suck  talk  at  no  rate.  So 
m^  will  drop  the  subject  if  you  please.  Well,  I  got  pretty 
ffirumpjr  too,  and  we  parted  in  a  huff.  I  think  myielft  ityi 
pther*  it  wam't  pretty  to  twear  ofere  him ;  fer,  Sain>  }f  4|mri 
10  . 


f. ," 


f' 


i-- 


'  'TBBB 

It  a  good  man  a^in'  it  is  ministoi:! — that's  a  (lust.  Bot,^  Siaiy 
•1^  he,  we  joiihtary  nnen,-^nd  he  straigbtia^  himBelf  iq^ 
^fionsidenible  stiff,  and  pulled  up  bis  collar,  and  lodrad  aafiefoa 
«■  a-lion,-~w«  military,  men,  says  he,  have  a  habltx^  tm^' 
mrt  an  oath  now  and  then.  Very  few  of  our  heroes  wdift 
•wearrl  'eoi^lact  that  tarnation  fiiie>eeter,  Gkaeriil  Oate^ 
when  he  was  in  our  sarvice,  ordered  me  once  to  attack  a 
Br^iidi  outpost,  and  I  didn't  much  more  than  half  like  it. 
^H^eral,  says  1,  there's  a  plaguy^  stone  wall  there,- and  tfaa 
British  have  lined  it,  I  guess ;  and  I'm  athinkin'  it  ain*t  idtd- 
l^tier  gist  safe  to  ^o  too  near  it.  D^^m — n,-^aptain  Slick^ 
•ays  he,^I  was  gist  made  a  captain  then)---d — ro— n*  €ktp^  , 
tain  Slick,  says  he,  ain't  there  two  sides  to  a  stone  waltl 
Son*t  let  me  hear  the  like  ag'in  from  you,  said  he,  Oap|iiin, 
irl  hope  I  may  be  tetotally  and  efj^Btually  d—- d  if  I  StmH 
henk  you —  I  I  will,  by  gosh  !  Be  wara^t  a  man  to  be  ti^lbd 
4»ith,  you  may  depend ;  so  I  drew  up  my  company,  and  mad)» 
at'tbe^wall  double  quick,  expectin'  every  minit  would  be  oVHr 

iMt. 

'Gist  as  we  got  near  the  fence,  I  heard  a  scrabltn*  mi 
iTJiCttddih'  behind  it,  and  I  said,  now,  says  I,  fbr'atd  my  boys^ 
ft^  ^our  lives !  hot  foot,  and  down  onder  the  fence  on  yOWr 
lilhes  I  and  then  we  shall  be  as  safe  as  they  be,  and  p'rhapa 
iw  can  hxmhole  'em.  Well,  we  cist  hit.  it,  and  got  thMt 
n^hout  a  shot,  and  down  on  our  feces  as  flat  as  flOtrlHdisrfe. 
iPrssoHtfly  we  heerd  the  British  run  for  dear  Kfe,  and  take  figbft 
iHttk  across  the  road,  AiU  spltt^  Now,  says  1^  my  heartliii 
iq^aad  let  drive  at  'em,  right  over  the  wall !  Well,  wa  got  tHfi 
i«r  kneies,  and  cocked  our  guns,  so  as  to  have  alJi  ready,  aM 
then  we  jump'd  up  an  eend ;  and  seein'  notbin'  bCit  a  giMft 
dou#  o' dust,  we  fired  bright  into  it,  and  down  ,we' heerd  *em 
mmlde';  and  when  the  dust  cleared  off^  we  saw  the  matter  ol' 
HfMity  white  breeches  turned  up  to  us  spraii^lin'  on  the  ground. 
€ltet  at  that  moment  we  heerd  three  cheers  from  the  tnemy  at  . 
tili  fert,  and  a  great  shout  of  larfin'  fW>m  our  ariny  too;  they 
iH(lr<'hawed  like  thunder.  Well,  says  I^  as  soo#  as  I  eocdd 
«ae^  if  that  don't  bang  the  bush.  I'll  be  darn'd  if  it  ^\ 
«  flock' of  sheep  belongin'  to  Blder  Solomon  ^LcMig^tai;  art«r 
lrtl,''-and  if  we  ain^t  killed  the  matter  of  a  se<MPe  6f  'eril 
too,  as  dead  as  muttoh ;  that's  a  fact.  Well,  wp  retinrned  con- 
lidcarabte  <k|Wfi  In  the  mouth,  and  says  the  gioerftl}  ^^itaiaii 
my  he»  I  guest  you  madt  the  enemy  look  pietty  ^Mt^ithik 


' 


« 


wmMm  AuaroqucT. 


^Ifil 


M4*m  yon?  WaU,  if  tli5 officers  dida't  lar^ it*a •pity;  and 
Ifjrt^aYargiiiy'.^^lGar  that  was  there,  in  a  aoft  of  hrif 
whiq^r,  that  wall , "was  well  lined,  you  may  diqpenB ;  aheep  on 
ft^a  jide  and  ^afsa  on-  the  other !    Says  I,  atrangw  you  had 

Iwttor  not  say  that  are  agUn,  or  PU Gintlemen,  saya  the 

jeoeral,  ie«Mve  your  heat  for  the  inemy ;  no  quarrels  anioag 
oumalves-— cmd  he  rode  off,  havin*  first  whispered  in  my  ear, 
]po  you  hear,  captain,  d— n  you  1  there  are  two  sides  Itt 
fh^l^ui*  Yes,  says  I,  gineral,  and  two  sides  to  a  story  too. 
ApA  don't,  for  gfacious*  sake,  say  any  mdre  about  it.  Yet, 
,W«  military  men  all  swear  a  few, — it*s  the  practice  of  iAm 
ofupop,  and.>«eeni»  kinder  nateral.  But  PU  go  and  make  Meah 
i^  minister.  ^' 

:>  Well,  we  walked  down  to  Mr.  HopewelPs,  and  we  found 
]wn  in  a  little  summer  bouse,  all  covered  over  with  honey- 
/Wickle,  as  buay  as  you  plea.se  with  a  book  he  was  astudyin^. 
Iin4  M  aoon  as  he  seed  us,  he  laid  it  down,  and  came  out  to 
ineet  us.  Colonel  Slick,  says  be,  I  owe  you  an  apology 
I  believe ;  I  consait  I  spoke  too  abrupt  to  you  t'other  evenia . 
'JjO^vght  to  have  made  some  allowance  for  the  ardour  <^  one 
^  our  military  heroes.  Well,  it  took  father  all  aback  Ihat, 
fot.he  know'd  it  was  him  that  was  to  blame,  and  not  ministar* 
«Q  be  b^an  to  say  that  it  was  him  that  ought  to  ax  pardon ; 
]bttt  minister  wouldn't  hear  a  word, — (he  was  all  humility  was 
jl|i^lliater*~he  had  no  more  pride  than  a  babe,)— end  saysbt» 
jppne,  colonel,  walk  in  and  sit  down  here,  and  we  will  see  if 
we  cannot  muster  a  bottle  of  cider  for,  you,  for  I  take  thie 
nsitt  very  kind  of  you.  Weil,  be  brought  out  the  cider,  aad 
P9,  sot  4own  quite,  sociable  like.  Now,  says  he,  colonel^ 
IIEhat  news  have  you. 

^  .  Well,  says  fother,  neighbour  Dearbourn  tolls  me  that  be 
^  heard  from  exoellept  authority  that  he  can't  doubt,  whealie 
was  to  £ngland,  that  King  George  the  Third  has  been  dead, 
these  two  years  j  but  his  ministers  darsen't  let  the  people 
know  it,  for  fear  of  a  revolution  ,*  so  they  have  given  out  that 
be  ^k  the  loss  of  these  States  so  much  to  heart,  and  fretted 
and  carried  on^  sq  about  it,  that  he  ain't  able  to  do  business  oo 
iQCffe,  «nd  that  they  are  obliged  to  keep  him  included.  They 
say  the  people  want  to  have  a  government  gist  like  ourn,  but 
^ft  lords  and  great  folks  won't  let  'em, — and  thst  if  a  poor 
QHM  lays  by  a  few  dollars,  the  nobles  send  and  take  it  riaht 
Mfay,  &t  fear  they  shoiil^i  buy  powder  and  shot  with  it.    It'i 


:,  'i- 


\ 


11^  ■'^^^tm'<meKmmm^ 

4Mi«ilt6tMiikoii,imHitt  I  dTowtlie  BAMi aK#|itolili|| 
iMMt  endtsved,  oppressed,  ienoiant.  nMaamxiMb  ftS^tk  Wk 
MOtw  crefttton.  ^ 

^^Tda  iniisii*t  believe  ill  yoti  heftf,  Mid  Inrffoiiferr^ftpdM 
lii|>oii'it,  tbera  ain't  a  word  of  truth  in  it.  I  have  been  #f^ 
itf^lin  Eaglaiid/and I  do  assure  ^oii,  they  ar« as  fteiasiwia 
«e^  and  a  mo4;t  plaguy  sight  richer,  strcmg^^  ar^d  #llefC 
'inieir  fovernmept  convenes  them  better  than  oum  would,  i^l 
I  must  say  there  be  some  thines  in  it  I  like  better  than  oui^ 
Ido^  Now,  says  he,  colonel,  rll  pint  out  to  yon  wherti  tfli^ 
iHtfve  a*most  an  amazin'  advantage  over  us  here  in  Aiiwrici. 
ifrst  of  all,  there  is  the  King  on  his  throne,  ai  faetediiary 
Ktng,-^a  born  King,-«-the  h^d  of  his  people,  and  iM  tmi 
lliaidof  a  party ;  not  sui^rted,  right  or  WTong,-by  Otte  side 
llfteause  they  chose  him, — nor  hated  and  oppo^,  righ^  # 
imHlg,  by  t'other  because  they  don*t  vote  for  him ;  butitttilS 
•iid  supported  1^  all  because  he  is  their  Kins ;  and  rdj^rdiil 
hy  alt  with  a  feelin'  we  don't  know,  nothin'  of  in  <Mir  cbuht^i 
o;^^  feelin'  of  loyalty.  Yes,  says  fhther^  afid  they  ddll*t  CAr^ 
«iietlier  it's  a  man,  woman,  or  child ;  the  ignomAt^  bOiigHt^ 
ei^^  They  are  considerably  sure,  says  minister,  hki  iSat^ 
ff^K^ue^  at  any  rate.   ^  '  ; 

r  l¥eH,  the  next  link' in  the  chain-^ — (Cfaafais  enough,  foKit 
«l«iltehesl  says  fitther  j  but  it's  good  enough  for  Vm  tho^^l 
^my^VfiAXi  the  next  link  in  the  chain  b  the  nobirtty,iltde^ 
fiflideat  t>f  the  dlrown  .<hi  one  side,  and  the  people  on  thd 
iitherr  a  body  distinguished  for  its  Wealth.-^its  lamtrin','^!! 
llfi^tfic^rjcer-^ts  high  honoqr, — and  all  the  great  and  good 
^fitids  that  ennoble  the  human  heart.  Yes,  saytiXther,  anS 
yet  they  can  sally  out  o'  their  castles,  sd9»  trave^ars,  aiid 
ttfc  %m  of  all  they  have  j  hav'n't  they  got  the  whc^e  CdHritry 
«n^aved?— 4he  debauched,  profligate,  e^emifiale,'tytantti«ai 
gai^  as  they  be ; — and  see  what  mean  offices,  they  fill  about 
Oie^ng^s  piitson.  They  put  me  in  mind  of  my  son  Bldad 
ii^hen  he  w«it  to  lam  the  doctors*  trade, — they  took  him  ^ 
ftnt  winter  to  the  dissectin'  room.  So  in  the  spring,  aaya  1| 
Pdndvsays  I,  how  do  you  get  on ?  Why,  says  he^father,  Pirt 
osly  had  my  first  lesson  yet.  What  is  that1  says  I*  l^^i 
iiys  he^  when  the  doctors  are  dissecHn'  of  a  ca¥oi»e  iif  celd 
Hieiit,  (^  that's  the  name  a  subject  goes  by,)  I  have  to  stand 
^^Mn  and  keep  my  hands  clean,  to  wipe  tlwir  iiosii,  |^ 
%ih  inufii  «M  Hght  eigais  for  'em  e^^^  the  8iit£aMa-M^ 


r 


B««L.«i  AvunomAior. 


Ilf 


liboitiM 


.jJrfnr^ 


en 

TOO;  off  w« 

Ad  #ilu^ 

thtoourik 
rlie]p6  tfiey 

-      A      -'■    ■    '       t.-l    <Ei' 

befe<H(m7 
id  aol  tH^ 
y  dOeind^ 
I,  rig!4<*ir 

tr  cbuiit^, 
ddikVettr^ 


em  tlifoV  1 
ilitf, !<!«#• 

il&d  j|OOQ 

eHi»r8,ttiid 
ii6  eoiintrjr 


son  Bldad 
k  him  ^ 

I.  yn^i 

bsedf  cold 
«  to  ttsiid 


I*  lOr  I  h«ve  to  b»  m  wipin*  of  their  oo^  «r«rlMtii»*ljr. 
^i  ft'dirty  bm^ww,  UwtVi  a  ihcti— *but  diiMOtiii*  ia  a  dirty 


amir,  I  gueast  altogether.    Well,  by  all  acoounta  the  nobility 
fUoffioea  aa  meaA  aa  the  doctorr 


viBtar. 


apprantioea  do  the  firrt 


1  tell  you,  these  are  mere  Ilea,  says  miaiater,  got  up  here  by 
•r  wrty  to  influence  ua  ag*in  the  British.  Well,  well  I  laid 
fftnef,  so  on,  and  he  threw  one  leg  over  the  other,  tilted  badi 
in  hia  chair,  folded  hia  arms  over  4)1$  breast,  and  looked  aa 
^rtarmined  aa  if  he  thought — ^now  you  may  gist  talk  till  yoa 
-9X9  hoarse,  if  you  like,  but  you  won't  convince  me,  I  can  taU 
ypu.  Then  tlH»e  is  an  Established  Church,  containin*  a  body 
V  men  distinguished  for  their  piety  and  larnin*,  uniform  prae- 
tioe,  ChristiaB  lives,  and  consistent  conduct :  gist  a  bei^h  that 
kecfM  off  the  aasaulta  of  the  waves  o'  infid^ity  and  enthM^ 
fia«n  irom  the  Christian  harbour  within — the  great  bulwark 
and  iMceakwaler  that  protects  and  shelters  Protestantism  in  tl^ 
wocid*  Oh  dear,  oh  dear  1  said  father,  and  he  looked  over  In 
00%  quite  streaked,  as  much  as  to  say,  Now,  Sam,  do  <ml^ 
hour  the  nonsense  that  are  old  critter  is  atalkin'  of:  ain't  Jt 
hturridl  Th«i  there  is  the  gentry,  and  a  fine,  honouLrahle^ 
manly,  hospitable,  independent  race  they  be ;  all  on  'em  sum 
iA4heir  little  spheres,  illuminatin',  warmin',  and  cheenn'  all 
within  their  reach.  Old  families,  attached  to  all  around  them, 
aad«ll  attached  to  them,  both  them  and  the  people  recdlectiA* 
^at  there  have  been  twenty  generations  of  'em  kidd  land* 
lords,  good  neighbours,  liberal  patrons,  indulgent  maaters ;  or 
If  any  of  'em  went  abroad,  heroes  by  .field  and  by  flood. 
Yes,  says  father,  and  they  carried  back  somethin'  to  brag  oil 
from  Bunker's  Hill,  I  guess,  didn't  they  ?  We  ^;K>ilt  the 
pretty  fa^s  of  some  of  their  landlords,  that  hitch,  any  hew^— 
•y,  and  their  tenants  too ;  hang  me  if  we  didn't.  When  I 
was  at  Bun——' 

Then  there  is  the  professional  men,  rich  merchants,  and 
pputent  factorists,  all  so  many  out-works  to  the  king,  and  aU 
to  be  beat  down  afore  you  can  get  at  the  throne.  Well,  all 
these  Mend  and  mix,  and  are  entwined  and  interwoven  tqi> 
g^her,  and  make  that  ff^eat,  harmonious,  beautiful,  social  and 
politieal  machine,  the  British  constituticm.  The  children  of 
pol^  ain't  nobles— (I  guess  not,  says  father — why  should 
tlxrjr  be  t  ain't  all  men  free  and  equal  1  read  Jefi^raon's  de* 
clmn  t  )  but  they  have  to  mix  with  the  eomroona,  and  bfii 
10# 


Vk 


Ivv 


.    H. 


odiilllldiitii  tlMniMlyM,  ftikd  Mndfth^sMff 
HHi^    (•B<  tnottgh  to  pyson  the  whotemdiMfl  tbd,  MW 
M^  pUM  taough  to  iTannent  it,  and  tfpile  the  irlii6te  bttoN^ 
Mlt^the  vtvanie^  m^  minister;  to  uiB  a  hditieiy  sifliite;  H^i 
lUw  a  pleoa  of  At- pork  thrown  into  a  boilin*  kettle  of  ntajAi 
aiinipf  k  ohaflka  the  bubUin*  and  makes  the  hoiUn*  sttbeide, 
Ipd  ndl  run  ovtr.    Well,  you  see,  by  the  Housed'  Lords  geti^ 
NNg  fMfuita  Apom  able  oommoners,  and  the  comm6ners  gettinf 
fioroita  bom  the  vouna  nobility,  by  intermafriage-^nd  hj^ 
tilt  gradual  branohtn*  off  of  the  young  people  of  both  sexeii'^ 
It  baetmes  the  peoMt  neUZily,  and  the  kivii*g  nefrtltfy,  sym<« 
palhifin*  with  both,  but  independent  of  eitheri^    That's  gi$i 
tha  dillbivnea  *atwec(h  them  and  foreigners  on  the  Cotitineht  $ . 
(hal'a  Iha  Mcret  of  their  power,  popularity  and  strength.  ThU 
king  leans  on  *eni,  and  the  people  leans  on  *em— they  are  did 
iiy«alone  of  the  arch.    They  doh*t  stand  alone,  a  high  «pi 
Mtowy  paakf  a*  orerlookin*  of  the  world  beneath,  aiid  Mhroa^ 
k|f  ttdark  deep  shadow  o'er  the  rich  aiid  fertile  regions  bel6#* 
flk    Thay  ain't  like  the  comish  of  a  room,  prettv  to  look  M^ 
feuit  of  no  alfthly  use  whatever;  a  thing  yOu<;ottid  pull  away, 
and  laaira  the  room  standin',  gist  as  well  without,  but  they  an^ 
tkapillarf  of  the  state—the  flooted,  and  grooved,  and  carvel^' 
and  omamentsl,  but  solid  pitlars-^you  can't  take  away  thb 
0|llari|  or  tha  itato  comes  down^— yoii  canY  cut  out\tl# 
ilaotbl't  or  groovih',  or  darvin',  for  it's  in  so  deep  you'd  haVi^ 
to  cut  the  pTtlari  away  to  nothin'  a'most  to  get  it  out.    Well, 
lays  fkthari  arisin'of  his  voice  till  he  screamed,  have  yoo 
nmtfnS  sifi  to  praise  to  home,  sir?  I  think  you  whitewashed, 
that  Brltiih  lepulehreof  rottennefls  and  corruptibn,  that  Hotui' 
0^  Lot^B,  pretty  well,  and  painted  the  harlot's  elde^  darter^ 
ttM  aha  looks  ai  flarnty  as  the  old  one  of  Baby^loh  herself; 
Ist^f  have  a  touch  d*  your  brush  to  hbme.now,  will  ypul  Yod 
don't  onderstand  me  yet,  Colonel  Slick,  said  he;  twant  tb 
•bow  you  iOffl^thin'  in  the  workin'  o*  the  machinery  you  ain't 
theught  of,  I  know.    Now,  vou  see,  colonel,  all  these  part^f^ 
datonbad  are  (Checks,  we  am't  got,— ^and  I  trust  in  God  w& 
9#Var  ■hall)  layt  father — we  want  no  check— '^hih'  pan 
iiaver  stop  ui ,  but  the  limits  o'  creation,)  and  we  aihY  prdl 
vllad  any  in  their  place,  and  I  don't  see  what  on  airth  we 
•haft  do  fbr  thaie  drag«chains  on  popular  opinion.    There's 
MUhHi^  hart  to  mak^  it  of— notfair  in  the  nalur'^^bf  thMgs  io 
ittbattttitiMAoflHli*  Hivthtid;  cM^oipiade  of^^fi^e^^ 


ttiiteiiri 

8tilM!de» 
ordflJlpBt^ 

lily,  dyiflf- 
Bat's  gi«i 
btiUiMsht  i . 
gth.  Th^ 
sy  are  tM 
high  c^Id 
dathroff* 
cms  bel6# 
>  look  iif 
nilj  away, 
ittheyart^ 
id  carv^, 
away  tl^ 
t  odt  th6 
ou'd  havd- 
It.    Well, 
have  you 
ite  washed 
hat  House 
ssit  dartet, 
i  herscflf; 
pur  YOti 
twant  t6 
you  ain*t 
ae  part^  | : 
In  God  war 
thin'  can 
ain*t  pro- 
airth  we 
Thereli 
thMgs  to 
-.&nd&i^ 


liiwRWted,  ami  will  be  4he  leiist  hiotmI  of  ue»  in  the  world, 
fii^ikili  what  yott  mean,  for  gracious  sake,  sayt  fether,  for  I 
44dH  onderstend  one  word  of  what  you  are  asayin*  of}  wiw^ 
d«mi  telk  of  chains  to  popular  oomion  of  twehre  millioa  of 
fiee  and  enlightened  citizens  7  Well,  says  minister,  sist  see 
here,  colonel,  instead  of  all  th^  gradations  and  circMe,^and 
what  not,  they've  got  in  England— each  havin'  its  oiim  pria- 
eipte  of  action,  hamxmisin'  with  one  another,  yet  essentially 
ibdepoaident-*we  got  but  one  class,  one  mass,  one  peq>le. 
Some  natur*  has  made  a  little  smarter  than  others,  and  some 
education  has  distinguished ;  some  are  a  little  richer,  some  a 
little  poorer — but  etill  we  have  nothin'  but  a  mass,  a  populace, 
a  people;  all  alike  in  great  essentials,  all  havin*  the  same 

E»wer,  same  rights,  same  privile^,  and  of  course  same  foel* 
's  :«F-ca2J  t<  vokat  you  fmM,  Wt  a  populaeet  in  fact. 
7  Our  name  is  Legion,  says  father,  ajumpin'  up  in  a  great 
,  ragfith  Yes,  sir,  legion  is  our  name— ^we  h^ve  twelve  millions 
of  fieemen,  ready  to  march  to  the  utmost  limits  o'  creation, 
•ttd  fight  tl^  devil  himself  if  he  was  there^  with  all  his  hotHa; 
and  I'm  the  man  to  lead  'em,  air ;  I'm  the  boy  that  gist  wfll 
do  it.  Rear  rank,  take  open  order,  right  shoulders  for'ard<— 
innrch!  And  the  old  man  begun  to  step  out  as  if  he  was 
ftleadin*  of  'em  <m  their  way  ag'in  old  Nick — whistling  Yan- 
kee-doodle all  the  time,  and  lookin'  as  fierce  as  if  he  could 
whip  his  weight  in  wild  cats.  Well,  says  minister^  I  guen 
y^  won't  have  to  go  quite  so  far  to  find. the  devils  to  fight 
witli  as  the  eend  of  creation  neither ;  you'll  find  them  nearer 
to  home  than  your  athinkin'  on'some  o'  these  days, /you  may 
diepietidw  But,  colonel,  our  people  present  one  smooth,  un- 
broken surface— ^do  you  see  ?— -of  the  same  uniform  materiale, 
#hich  is  a.eted  on  all  xner  alike  by  one  impulte.  It's  like  a 
lake.  Well,  one  guat  o'  wind  sweeps  all  over  it,  and  puts  all 
in  agitation,  and  makes  the  waters  look  angry  and  dangerous 
•—(and  smaller  waters  makes  the  ugliest  seas  always.)  Well, 
as  soon  as  the  squall  is  over,  what  a'most  a  beautifiil  pit^hin* 
and  heavin'  there  is  for  a  while,  and  then  down  it  all  comes 
as  calm-  and  as  stagnant  and  tiresome  as  you  please.  That'a 
our  case. 

There  is  nothin'  to  check  popular  commotion  here,  nothing 
to  influence  it  for  good,  but  much  to  influence  it  for  evil. 
^[%ere  is  one  tone  and  one  key  here ;  strike  the  octaves  where 
juM^iiM,  and  when,  you  like,  and  they  all  accord. 


\  \ 


i  \ 


Tin  ^vMi  CMi  1Mb  iM  vp  to  •  Airy  Imv»  la  l«M  Ivw  mf 
i«y,  bMMiM  ft  oboinl  •track  at  MtiM  vibratot  in  FtorMi^  wi 
mhuk  ODM  routodi  and  our  daodar  ftirly  up*  iDteft-  am  Iba 
badiaa  above  all  tbia  oooNnoCion,  tbat  can  aoAaariilodaiyiib 
4NNilrol,  or  even  influenoa  itl  Tba  law,  wa  laa,  la  toe  AaUai 
feeple  dMiegard  it  i  tbe  deray  oan*t,  tot  if  tbey  dbie  to  diia* 

rw  with  tMr  floofca,  their  flocka  drive  *em*euf  of  tba  fiaaiui' 
little  loM  than  half  no  time  {  the  legialatofa  canH,  ibr  tbigr 
aea  parts  of  the  lame  turbid  water  thamselvea  |  the  piwldaBl 
m»^t  for  he  is  nothin'  but  a  heap  of  Aroth  thrown  up  1^  aas* 
iiio^in*  eddies  at  the  central  point,  and  floats  with  the  itfaan 
Ibat  generated  him.  He  bos  no  motion  of  himself,  no  loaomth 
five  power.  It  ain-t  the  drift-log  that  directs  tba  river  to  Iba 
4M,  but  the  rivor  that  carries  the  drift-log  on  its  back«  Noar 
in  England,  a  lyin',  agitatin*,  wicked  press,  damagoguaa  mad 
BoUtioal  jugglers,  and  them  sort  o*  cattle,  finds  a  ebaok  in  ijdia 
fciecutive,  the  grest,  the  larned,  the  virtuous,  tbe  pnuMM, 
and  the  well  established  nobility,  church,  and  ^ntry.  It  eaa^ 
deceive  them,  they  are  too  well  informed ;— it  oan*t  ogiliito 
them,  for  they  don*t  act  from  impulse,  but  flrom  reason.  It 
oan't  overturn  'em,  for  they  are  too  strong.  NotUn*  can 
jnove  so  many  difibrent  bodies  but  somethia*  genuialns  and 
flood,  somethia*  that  comes  recommended  by  common  sense 
for!  the  public  weal  by  its  intrinsic  excellence.  Then  the 
Gleray  bless  it,  ihe  nobles  sanctioji  it,  and  tbe  king  exeoutoa 
It  It's  a  well-constructed  piece  o'  machinery  thnt,  odonel, 
imd  I  hope  they  won't  go  adabblin'  too  much  with  it  ;~-#Asrt'« 
iie(4ia  like  Utnin*  aJTs  wtU  aione, 

:  I'll  suppose  a  case  now ;— If  the  French  in  Canada  were  to 
lebdt-ras  they  will,  like  that  priest  that  walked  on  crutebea 
I^U  they  dected  him  Pope,  and  when  he  got  into  the  chair  be 
Up  crutches  and  let  'em  fly  at  the  beads  m  the  cardinals,  «id 
told  'em  to  clear  out,  or  he'd  kick  'em  out— they'll  rebel  aa 
Hoon  aa  they  can  walk  alone,  for  the  British  have  made  '«&  a 
Brodch  colony  instead  of  an  Engliah  one,  and  then  theyH 
throw  away  th«r  crutches.  If  they  do  rebel,  see  if  onr  peo» 
1^  don't  go  to  war,  tho'  tbe  government  b  to  PMoa*  Tlwy'H 
do  gist  as  they  ptease,.and  nothin'  can  stop  'em.  ^  What  da 
they  care  for  a  Preudent^s  proclamation,  or  a  marahid'i  ad* 
vertisements?, they'd  lynch  one,  or  tai^  and  foatber  the  other 
of  ^KMe  chaps  as  quick  as  wink,  if  they  daiM  to  stand  in  Iha 
,  way^cnanuiuti    No;  wa  want  the  influaaoa  of  an  ifidipi»» 


"^'1-f 


MnVRNBAOT* 


W^ 


IfflHf  MM 


•  toilM* 


,  ibrttay 
uniiiiteiit 

M  ftlMM 


VMtoHw 

)k«    Nov 

MUM  Mli 

sokiniMM 
I  pnuUMi 
If.  Iteui^ 
bH  ogitails 
saaon.  It 
ithio*  call 
M0JM  and 


pon 
Than  tha 
(  axaoulM 
oolooeli 


la  warala 
orutehM 
chair  ba 

inaltt  Mid 
rabal  aa 

ade*«Ba 

en  thayH 

otirpao* 

Thay*H 

What  da 
lM*i  ad* 
tbaothir 

lad  iii#a 


<^4mi  MriMd  daigy— of  a  gentnr,  «r  an  tipped  olaM,  of  a  per. 

^  MMiiiM  Sm  loo'  af  a  aimiaihfai'  or  aaother,  hi  ahoit,  wa 

*  MMrHl*!  flM^.aad  I  fear  never  will  get.    WhM  Kttla  ebaek  wa 

iMtf  hr  Waabinglon*a  time  ia  now  l<Mt ;  our  senate  haa  degen* 

.  aMAHl  nMo  a  mere  aeeond  house  of  representatives ;  our  leste- 

laMta  are  nothin*  but  speakin*  trumpets  for  the  roobi  outMda 

M  jraU  and  howl  thro*.    The  British  Qovemment  is  like  its 

mk ;  it  has  its  roots  spread  out  far  and  wide,  and  is  supported 

.^Hid^nourishad  on  all  sides,  besides  its  tap-roots  that  run  right 

atraiffht  down  into  the  ground— (fbr  all  hard-wood  trees  haf» 

Mp-rabta,  you  know.)    Well,  when  a  popular  storm  oomM,  it 

bands  to  the  Mast,  do  you  see?  till  its  Airy  is  spent  ;-^it  gjsta 

#  "few  kmves  shodt  down,  and  perhaps  a  rotten  branch  or  two 

^Hrfafed  eff}  but  when  the  storm  is  o*er  there  it  is  ag*tn  bolt 

>Mpriglil  '  as  straight  and  as  stiff  as  a  poker.    But  our  govern- 

Mant  ia  like  one  oif  oiir  forest  trees    all  top  and  no  branehM, 

or  dowttw^ird  roots,  but  a  long,  slim  atalk  with  a  broom-head, 

iNl  by  a- few  superficial  fibres,  the  air  and  the  rain ;  and  when 

•^^  popular  gust  comes  it  bk)W8  it  right  over— a  great,  on* 

'mleldy  windfall,  smashin*  all  afore  it,  and  breakin*  itself  aH 

tip  to  pieces.    It*s  too  holler  and  knotty  to  aaw  or  to  split,  Oi 

to  rip,,  and  too  shaky  fo  plane,  or  dd  any  thin*  with— «11  h*a 

atrength  lies  in  growin*  close  alongside  of  others ;  but  it  irrowa 

too  quick,  and  too  thick  to  be  strong.     It  has  no  i<  vVvm/o 

gtrei^gth  .•>-~8ome  folks  to  England  ain^  up  to  this  themselves, 

and  raelytalk  like  fools.    They  talk  as  if  they  werv  in  a 

lepnblic  instead  of  a  limited  monarchy.     If  ever  they  get  np* 

aot,  mark  my  words,  colond,  the  squall •  won't' com-?  out  of 

royalty,  aristocracy,  or  prelacy,  but  out  o*  democracy— and 

«a  pll^y  squally  sea  damocracy  is,  I  tell  you ;  wind  gcta  up 

a  a  uninit ;  you  can*t  show  a  ra^  of  sail  to  it,^tnd  if  yen 

diM*t  keep  a  bright  look-out,  and  shorten  sail  in  time,  you^m 

wwehed  or  swamped  afore  you  know  where  you  be.     Pd 

>n^r  live  onder  an  absolute  monarchy  any  day  than  in  (| 

"■tfemoeracy,  for  one  tyrant  is  better  nor  a  thousand;  oppres- 

itoo  is  better  nor  anarchy,  and  hard  law  better  nor  no  law  at 

•Ih   Minister,  says  father,  (and  he  put  bis  hand  on  his.knees, 

MhI  rose  up  slowly,  till  he  stretched  himself  all  out,)  I  have 

sot  here  aaid  heerd  more  abuse  of  our  great  nation,  and  our 

ftio  -and'  enKghtened  citizens,  from  you  this  ev*nin*,  than  I 

4l«#tl^ughtl  could  have  taken  frbm  any  livhi*  soul  breathin*  | 

1^  Mom  than  I  can  6levorly  swaller,  or  digest  dthor,  I  tell 

you. 


,  .How»  lirf  wye  be,  wnd  he  bfougbt  hie  two  betb '«liie 
pg^r,  tod  tekiiig  bold  of  bit  09at  taU  wilb  bit  left  ktmk 
brangbt  bis  right  mod  slowly  round  to  it»  tod  th«B  lifted  il 
fliedutlly  up  M  if  he  wm  dniwin*  out  •  sipord^pend  »aw, 
|ir,  said  be*  mekin'  e  lunge  into  the  air  with  bis  prvM^ 
now,  air,  if  your  were  not  a  clei^man,  you  should  answer  il 
to  nub  with  yoMr  life— you  should,  I  snore.  It's  aothio'  but 
vpivr  cloth  protects  you,  and  an  old  friendship  that  baa  sidb> 
JMsted  atwjeen  us  for  many  years.  You  rsvohitionary  heroes, 
colonel,  says  minister,  smilin',  are  covered  with  too  mueb 
glory  to  require  an^  aid  from  private  quarrels  s  put  up  yoiii 
sword,  colonel,  put  it  up,  mv  good  friend,  and  let  us  see  beiw 
the  cider  is.  I  have  talked  so  much,  my  mouth  M§  eon- 
siderable  rusty  about  the  hinges,  I  vow.'  I  guess  w^  bed, 
says  father,  quite  mollified  by  that  are  little  revohtfioMffy 
hwo, — and  I  will  sheath  it;  and  he  went  throMbe  form  ei* 
puttin*  a  sword  into  the  scabbard,  and  fetched  his  two  baade 
tq|pther  with  a  click  that  sounded  amazinUy  like  the  reel 
thing.  Fill  ]rour  glass,  colonel,  says  minister,  fill  your  ghns, 
and  1  will  give  you  a  toast:— jlfoy  our  gotemmmU  Mter 
itgtneroiu  %nto  o  mohf  nor  ow  wtob»  grow  itrong  emmgk  io 
be4iome  our  gootrnmmi. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

THE  CONFESSIONS  OF  A  DEPOSED  MINISTER 

SiNca  I  parted  with  you,  squire,  at  Windsor,  last  fiijl,  Ffe 
been  to  home.  There's  been  an  awful  smash  among  the 
banks  in  the  States — they've  been  blowed  over,  and  sna|^^ 
off,  and  torn  up  by  the  roots  like  the  [Hnes  to  the  southwavd 
in  a  tamado :— awful  work,  you  may  depend.  Every tbhig 
prostrated  as  flat  as  if  it  had  been  chopped  wkh  an  axe  for 
the  fire ;  it's  the  most  dismal  sight  I  ever  beheld.  Shortly 
after  I  left  you,  I  got  a  letter  from  Mr.  Hopewell^  a  tdlin'  et 
me,  there  wau  a  storm  abrewin',  and  advism'  of  me  to  come 
bQine  as  soon  as  possible,  to  see  arter  my  stock  in  the  Slick* 
vitle  bank,  for  they  were  carry  in'  too  much  sail,  and  be  was 
«^  a'moet  certain  it  would  capsize  when  the  squaH  stHNk  it. 
WeU,  I  rode  night  and  day ;  I  nearly  killed  Old  Cl*y  md 


left 

BUM  it 
•Qd  iNiir» 
•  imM^ 

awmil 
loUiui'bul 

too  nuioli 
It  up  yoiw 

ItMObSW 

ifwlpooii. 
■  w^  liad, 
oliiiMNMry 
B  form  «^ 
twoha»d» 
e  tho  mA 

wU  M9tr 


»t  &}i,rv» 

unong  tko 
td  •napped 
soutbmd 
Sverythmg 
»a  ase  ibr 
ShortVy 
a  telUn'  tH 
DO  to  cone 

the  Sliek* 
nd  he  wee 
IstHRkit* 

(My  md 


ooKwrntMn  or  a  Miwum.  \\h 

mfmUr  toe  (I  left'the  old  hone  to  the  St  John's;)  bat  I  Mt 
Ullie  in  time,  lold  out  my  fhcrea,  and  gist  Mcurcd  royieif, 
HrlMn  It  Allied  telotally.—it  won't  pay  Ave  oenti  to  t\m  dollar  | 

*  liMa)  wreck;  atoek  and  fluke.   Poor  old  minister,  lie  is  nearly 

J;  he ii  email  potatoes  now, and  few  in  a  hill.    It  made 
quite  streaked  to  see  him,  for  he  is  a  reel  good  mao, 

•  ftenillMfie  primitive  Christian,  and  one  of  the  old  school. 
Why,  Sam,  says  he,  how  do  you  do,  my  boy  Y  The  sight  of 
ypa  is  aetilly  good  for  sore  eyes.  Oh  I  I  am  glad  to  see  you 
dnpe  more  afore  I  go,  it  does  me  good— it  happifies  me,  it 
,doee,  I  vow  — A)r  you  always  seem  kind  o*nateral  to  me. 

I  didn*t.  think  I  should  ever  take  any  interest  in  anything 
ag'ln ; — but  I  must  have  a  talk  with  ^ou — it  will  do  me  good 
--4t  sevives  me.  And  now,  Sam,  said  he,  open  that  ate  cup- 
board there,  and  take  the  big  kev  off  the  nail  on  the  right 
band  side— it's  the  kf  y  of  the  cellar ;  and  go  the  north  bin, 
•fid  bring  up  a  bottle  of  the  old  genuiptne  cider— it  will 
lefinsh  you  arter  vour  fiitigue;  and  give  me  my  pipe  and 
tttbaoeo,  and  we  will  have  a  talk  as  we  used  to  do  in  old  Umel. 
^Well,  says  I,  when  I  returned  and  uncorked  the  bottler-* 
minister,  says  I,  it's  no  use  in  a  talkinS — and  I  took  a  heavy 
pull  at  the  cider — it's  no  use  a  talkin',  but  there's  nothing  like 
that  among  the  Blue-noses  any  how.  I  believe  you  might 
stump  the  univarse  for  cider^— lAoi  caps  all— it's  supejr-excel- 
lent— that's  a  fkct. 

^  1  shall  stump  out  of  the  univarse  soon,  Sam,  said  he ',  I'm 
e'en  a'most  done ;  my  body  is  worn  out,  and  my  spirits  are 
none  of  the  best  now, — I'm  a  lone  man.  The  old  men  are 
droppin'  off  fast  into  the  grave,  and  the  young  men  are  troopin' 
off  last  to  the  far  West ;  and  Slickville  don't  seem  the  place  ta 
me  it  used  to  do  no  more.  I  'm  well  stricken  in  ye<^rs  now ; 
my  life  stretches  over  a  considerable  space  of  the  colony  time, 
ttMOVer  all  our  republic :  my  race  is  run,  my  lamp  is  out, 
and  I  am  ready  to  go. ..  I  oflen  say.  Lord,  now  lettest  thou  thy 
sarvant  depart  in  peace.  Next  birth»day,  if  the  Lord  spares 
me  to  see  it,  I  shall  be  ninety-five  years  old.  Well,  says  I, 
minirter,  you've  seen  great  chanses  in  your  time,  that's  sar- 
tal6 ;  haven't  we  grown  cruel  fast  f  There  ain't  such  a  nation 
w  oam  p'rhaps  atween  the  poles,  gist  at  this  present  time. 
We  we  a'mOst  through  to  the  Pacific,  and  spreadin'  all  over 
tiris  ^at  Continent ;  and  our  flag  floats  over  every  part  of 
the^sorld.    Our  free  and  enlightened  people  do  present  a'most 


,M'*  *• 


\ 


f  gImMt  ■pMtMl»*-Ui«t*i «  Ami.    Wall,  htiQl  ■Mil  AiiMW 
BoUOii*)  but  takin'  Um  dIm  oMt  ofblt  mouUiiht  btfotiMit 


ioogpuiroraiQqik*, tadthM  itplMwd hit  plw  •g]%*«>d  ,^-. 
•  ii^  Myi  U,  Well.  Biuni  wbiU  oftll  tl»l|    W|iyi iiOd J« 
Ulniator,  vou  ramM  im  oT  Joab  Hunton  hi  wb^iM  vvtiy  < 
OM  Uuit  (Unt  try  bim,  botb  in  SUobvUI*  tad  itt  MoijuUy  |  mmI 
than  b«  ■otdowo  and  orM  likt  a  obild,  'cauw  (tlka  mm 
afiwrd  of  bim,  and  none  on  *em  would  flgbt  bim. 

lt*a  a^  law  of  natur\  Sam,  aaid  be,  tbat  tbinn  tbat  aiow  m 
(bet,  and  grow  toQ  big,  go  to  deoay  soon.  I  am  aleerd  wa 
alAll  be  rotton  afore  we  are  ripe.  Preooetty  ainH  i  good  aifil 
in  any  tb'mg.  A  boy  tbat  6utgrowi  bia  etrongtb,  ia  ealdom 
iMalthy ;  an  old  head  on  young  ihouldere  ii  plaguv  apt  to,  And 
afore  long  the  ibouldera  too  old  and  weak  for  the  naa4  A 
9m  tQi>  1^  a  uMiu  to  be  led  away  by  name*— too  old  a  wtd 
to  be  caught  by  chaff.  TinMl  and  glitter  don*!  deceive  urn 
into  a  belief  that  they  are  idid,  genuine  iMtlla.  Our  aagla. 
that  we  choee  for  our  emblem,  is  a  fine  bird  {  and  an  aapirift 
Idrd^but  Ac  tf  a  bird  ofprt^,  Sami—ioofwid  ^Maod,-*<«#0 
'wrmm  lo  jwanec  on  th€  loedk  and  untoary.  I  don*t  like  to'aae 
biro  hoverin*  over  Texai  and  Canada  lo  much.  Our  flag  that 
you  talk  of  is  a  good  flag ;  but  tliom  stripes,  are  tbey  propbetio 
or  accidental  7  Are  they  the  stripes  of  the  slaves  risin*  up  to 
bumble  our  pride  by  exhibitin*  our  shame  on  our  banner  1  Or 
what  do  they  mean  1  Freedom,  what  is  it  1  We  boast  M 
flreedom ;  tell  me  what  freedom  is  ?  Is  it  bavin*  no  king  lynd 
00  noblest  Then  we  are  sartainly  firee.  But  is  that  freedom  1 
I|i  it  bavin*  no  established  religion  ?  Then  we  are  free  enough* 
gracious  knows.  Is  it  in  havm'  no  hereditary  governmentyor 
vigorous  executive?    Then  we  are  free,  beyond  ail  dqubt. 

xes,  we  know'  what  we  are  atalkin'  about ;  we  are  wiso  i|& 

our  generation,  wiser  than  the  children  of  li|(ht^— we  are  aa 

^  free  as  the  air  of  heaven.    What  that  air  4s,  perhaps  they 

'  know  who  talk  of  it  so  flippantly  and  so  glibly ;  but  it  ma^r 

,  not  be  so  free  to  all  comers  as  pui^  country  is.  ^  But  what  |s 

freedom?    My  little  grandson,  little  Sannmy,  (I, bad  him 

name^  arter  you,  Sam^)  told  me  yesterday  I  was, behind  the 

enlightenment  of  the  agp ;  perhaps  you,  who  are  ahead  of  it, 

will  answer  me.    What  is  freedom?    A  colt  is  free,^h«  ia 

unrestraiued,— he  acknowledges  no  ma8ter,-*-no.  law,  but  tha 

la^ir  of  natur'.    A  man  may  get  his  brains  kicked  out  jfllMing 

wiU  horses,  but  atiU  they  are  free.    Is  our  liteedom  Uk«  (htt 


cot 


M*  A  iRiranm 


Itl 


101  iMP 


fOWltf> 

Do4*ifB 


»tu>flnd 
•ive  MM 


flagOMit 

broph««io 

lin*  up  to 

Mrl   Or 

boast  of 

jing  iM 

IfreMCMpal 

enought 

ini»nt,or 

»ubt. 

ire  WM  at 
[apt  thoy 
Vt  it  may 
U  wbat  )■ 
liuid  him 
9hii»4  tha 
of  it, 

^bMt  tha 


mm 


af  Ilia  wild  hi  aa  or  tha  wHd  aa«T  If  not,  what  m  Itt— la  U 
li  iha  right  of  opeoly  praaoliing  infldality  1  !•  it  in  a  licaa- 
lloaa  pfvait  It  it  in  (nt  oMtpouringa  of  popular  Mrlr^tif  la 
il-  is  Jha  abaenaa  of  all  lubordinatkNtt  or  tha  inaofflolanor  of 
•it  lagal  or  moral  reatraintt  1  will  daflne  it.  It'ia  that  liap- 
ff  eondition  of  nwnkind  whera  people  ara  aaaemblad  In  a 
oon»munity ;  where  there  it  no  government,  no  law,  and  no 
Mliffioo,  but  auch  aa  are  impoaed  from  day  to  day  by  a  mob 
of  weMnan.     Tlkat  ia  frttdom. 

Why,  miniater,  aaid  I,  what  on  airth  ailt  you,  to  make  you 
talk  artar  that  (bthion  7  If  you  had  abin  drinkin*  any  of  tha 
•fa  old  Aider,  I  do  think  I  ahould  have  believed  it  had  got  into 
vOur  brain,  Ibr  it*a  pretty  considerable  stiff  that,  and  tamatkm 
naady.  How  can  vou  go  for  to  say  wo  have  no  government, 
00  law,  and  no  refiaion,  when  it*s  ginorally  allowed  we  ara 
tha  moat  Area  and  enlightened  people  on  the  Ace  of  the  airth  f 
"^  dkln*t  say  ikatt  Sam ;  I  was  definin*  fireedom  in  Its  gene* 
tal  aooeptation.  We  have  got  a  government  somewhere,  If 
Iblks  oould  only  And  it.  When  they  sarched  ibr  It  at  Taiaa, 
fhay  said  it  was  to  Canady  linea ;  and  wheh  thev  go  to  Cana-'^ 
dy  lines  to  soek  it,  they  say  it  is  gone  to  the  Eieminole  war; 
and  when  thev  get  there,  thioyMI  ti^l  *em  the^Ve  been  lookin* 
^ibr  it  {  but  it  hasn*t  arrived  yet,  and  they  wish  to  gracious  It 
would  niake  haste  and  come,  forif  it  wor  there,  tnree  thou- 
aand  Iniians  couldnU  beat  us  three  years  runnin*,  and  defy  ua 
yat.  WeVe  got  law  too ;  and  when  th^  judges  go  on  the  cir^ 
ouit,  the  mob  nolds  its  courts,  and  keeps  the  peace. — ^Whosa 
oommission  does  the  mob  hold  t— The  people^s  commi/^Hiori. 
And  whose  commission  does  the  supreme  judse  hold  1 — ^Tha 
President's.  Which  is  at  the  top  of  the  pot  then  t  Can  the 
fudges  punish  the  mob  ?•— No ;  but  the  mob  can  punish  the 
lodges.  Which  is  the  supreme  court,  then  7  No ;  we  have 
Uw.  Yes,  said  I,  and  the  prophets  too;  for  if  you  ain't  a 
prophet  of  evil,  it's  a  pity.  I  fairly  felt  ryled,  for  if  there  ia 
anpr  thing  that  raises  my  dander,  and  puts  m^  Ebenezer  up, 
it  IS  to  hear  a  man  say  any  thing  ag'in  the  glonous  institutions 
of  our  great,  splendid  4»untry. 

There  you  go  ag'in,  said  he ;  you  don't  know  what  you  are 
atalkin'  about;  a  prophet  u§ed  to  be  a  person  who  foretold 
fiittire  events  to  come.  What  they  be  now  m  Webster's  new 
diietittarv,  I  don't  know ;  but  I  guess  they  now  be  those  who 
Ibratdl  thiogs  arter  they  happen.    I  wam't  apropbesyinV-I 

n    . 


THl  OLOClMAXnU 


WM  speakin*  of  things  aibre  my  eyes.  Your  ideas  of  propheto 
ai«  about  as  clear  as  your  ideas  of  freedom.  Yes,  weVe  <$oi 
lair,  and  written  laiir  too,  as  well  as  written  constitutioos-^fbr 
.  ire  despise  that  onwritten  law,  tho  coninion  law  of  the  i^o* 
rant  British ;  we  despise  it  as  a  relic  of  barbarbm,  of  the  age 
of  darkness  andTable,) — and  as  soon  as  our  cases  that  art 
tried  afore  the  mob  courts  are  collected  and  reported  by  some 
of  our  eminent  mob  orators,  theiae  state  trials  will  have  great 
authority.  They'll  be  quoted  to  England  with  great  respect, 
I  know ;  for  they  Ve  got  orators  of  the  same  breed  there  too«— r 
the  same  gentle,  mild,  Christian-like  philanthrqnsts.  Pitf 
yotf  hadnH  sported  that  kind  of  doctrine,  says  I,'  minister, 
^fore  our  glorious  revolution.  The  British  would  have  made 
a  bishop  of  you,  or  a- Canter  Berry,  or  whatever  they  :caU 
that  Protestant  pope.  Yes,  you  might  have  had  the  caiinon 
law  and  the  tythe  law  enforced  with  the  baggonet  law. 
Abusia*  the  British  don't  help  us,  Sam.  I  am  not  their  advo- 
cate, but  the  advocate  for  law,  just  and  equal  law,  impartii&lly 
administered,  voluntarily  obeyed,  and,  when  infringed,  duly 
enforced.  Yes,  we  have  religion,  too,/rom  the  strict  good 
.  cAd  platform,  through  every  variety  and  shade  of  tinker,  mor- 
0io&ite,  and  mountebank,  down  to  the  infidel,— men  who 
meach  peace  and  good  wilt,  but  who  fight  and  hate  each  other 
like  the  devili  Idolatry  like  oum  you  won't  find  even 
among  the  heathen.  We  are  image  worshippers:  we  haiw 
two  images.  There's  the  golden  image,  which  all  men  wot- 
jhip  liere,  and  the  American  image.  The  American  image  I 
said  I;  do  tell:  what  on  airth  is  that?  I  do  believe  in  my 
heart,  minister,  that  you  have  taken  leave  of  your  senses. 
What  onder  the  sun  is  the  American  image?  An  image  of 
perfection,  Sam,  said  he ;  fine  phrenological .  head ' —  high 
forehead — noble  countenance— •intelligent  face— >  limbs  Her- 
culean, but  well  proportioned — graceful  attitude — a  figure 
c^  great  elegance  and  beauty, — ^the  personification  <^  ev^ry 
thing  that  is  great  and  good, — that  ia  the  American  image, 
•—4hat  we  set  up  and  aidmire,  and  every  body  thinks  it  is 
an  image  of  himself.  Oh  !  it  is  humiliatin',  it  is  degradia'; 
but  we  are  all  brought  tip  to  this  idolatry  fnrni  our  cradle : 
we  are  taught  first  to  worship  gold,  and  then  to  idolize  our- 
■elves. 

Yes,  we  have  a  government,  have  a  law,  and  have  alNleU. 
I^oii,— -and  a  precious  government,  law,  and  religion,  it  b.   I 


prophel* 

he  igBO- 
fthetge 

that  fti« 

by  some 
iv6  great 
t  resfMctt 
sTctoor— 
}t8.  Pity 
;  minister, 
ave  made 

they  :caU 
le  caiinon 
ponet  law* 
fc«iradw- 

ng^,  duly    . 
strict  good 
inker,  mor- ' 
-men  who 
each  other 

find  even 
:  we  baiw 
I  men  wor- 
»n  image  1 
ieve  in  my 
our  senses. 
Q  image  of 
lead  ^  high 

limbs  Her- 
,— a  figure 
Dn  of  every 
ican  image, 

thinks  it  is 
a  degradin* ; 

our  cradle: 

idolize  our- 

have  #idii- 
poD,itia*    I 


ooirnDmoiii  or  a  nirifTiR.  mfH 

mm-  once  led  to  heliere  we  had  made  a  great  diNOVfry>  and 
were  tryin*  a  great  experim«at  in  the  art  of  se)f-aoveTBineDt» 
fbt  the  bepefit  of  mankind,  as  well  as  ourselvae*  Ob,  delusioB 
of  deltttMNM  l-xi-It  bad  been  tried  befi>re  and  signally  (kiladf  and 
tried  on  our  own  ground  too,  and  under  our  own  eyas*  W« 
are  copies  and  not  originals— base  imitators.  When  he  got 
ftis  far,  I  seed  how  it  was — he  was  delirious,  poor  old  gentia* 
.man ;  the  sight  of  me  was  too  much  for  him ;  his  narvos  WM 
excited,  and  he  was  aravin*;  his  face  Was  flushed,  his  eyi 
glared,  and  looked  quite  wild>like.  It  touched  me  to  the  heart* 
-  for  I  loved  him  like  a  father,  and  his  intellects  were  of  the  ftnt 
order  afore  old  age,  like  a  cloud,  had  overshadowed  *em.  I 
thought  I  should  have  boohooed  right  out.  So,  instead  0^ 
contradictin'  him,  I  humoured  him.  Where  was  it  triedi 
minister  ?  said  I ;  who  had  the  honour  afore  us  7  for  let  tw  givt 
the  credit  where  it  is  due.  The  North  American  Indians,  said 
he,  had  tried  it  afore  in  all  its  parts.  Thev  had  no  kins,  no 
nobles,  no  privileged  clasg,  no  established  religion.  Thdr 
mobs  made  laws,  Lynch  law  too,  for  they  bad  burned  people 
before  the  dtizens  at  Mobile  were  ever  born,  or  were  even 
thought  on,  and  invaded  also  other  folks*  territory  by  itaaldii 
and  then  kept  possession.  They,  too,  elected  their  presideate 
and  other  officers,  and  did  all  and  every  thing  we  do.  They, 
too,  had  their  federal  government  of  independent  states,  and 
their  congress  and  solemn  lookinV  boastin*  orators.  They, 
too,  had  their  long  knives  as  well  as  Arkansas  folks  have, 
and  were  as  fc«d  of  blood.  And  where  are  they  now  1  Where 
is  their  great  experiment  ? — ^their  great  spectacle  of  a  people 
governin'  themselves  1  Gone  i  where  ourn  will  go ;  sone  with 
the  years  that  are  fled,  never  M  return  I  Oh,  Sam,  Sam  I  my 
heart  is  sick  within  me.  Where  now  is  our  beautiflil  republjo 
bequeathed  to  us  by  Washington,  and  the  saees  and  heroee 
of  the  revolution  ?  Overwhelmed  and  destroyed  by  the  mighty 
waters  of  democracy.  Nothin*  is  now  left  but  a  dreary  waste 
of  angry  watws,  moved  and  excited  by  every  wind  that  blows, 
and  agitated  by  every  conflictin'  current,  onsafe  to  navigate, 
fearful  even  to  look  upon. 

This  is  is  too  excitin*  a  subject,  said  I,  minister,  and  admita 
of  great  deal  bein'  said  on  both  sides.  It  ain't  worth  our  while 
to  eet  warm  on  it.  As  for  an  established  church,  said  I,  you 
liMw  what  an  hubbub  they  made  in  England  to  set  clear  of 
that  are.    I  don't  think  we  need  envy  'em,  umesi  they'll 


Mtoblith  our  platform,  ir  Uiey  did  tkair  mid  J|  uid  I  looiwd 
ju^)  and  winked,  I  donH  know  as  I  wouldoH  vots  for  it  myM^ 
panri,  said  he,  we  are  goin*  to  have  an  established  ch^reh ;  k 
may  be  a  very  good  church,  and  is  a  great  deal  better  than 
jpnany  we  have ;  but  still  it  ain't  the  church  of<  the  Pilgrims* 
Wba,i  ohurob,  said  I,  minister  1  Why,  said  he,  the  Ci^faoHtt 
Church ;  before  long  it  will  be  the  entablished  church  of  the ' 
Xlmted  States.  -  Poor  old  man,  only  think  of  his  getting  such 
A  freak  as  that  are  in  his  head ;  it  was  melancholy  to  hear  him 
^tplk  such  nonsense,  warnH  it?  What  makes  you  think  sol 
•aid  I.  Why,  said  he,  Sam,  the  majority  here  do  everything^ «.. 
The  majority  voted  at  first  against  an  establishment ;  a  mai 
rity  may  at  last  vote  for  it ;  the  voice  of  the  majority  is  law^ 
low  the  Catholics  are  fast  gainin'  a  numerical  majority. 
»n't  you  believe  census  or  other  tables  ?  I  know  it,  aaijl  I 
|(pould  easily  correct  the  errors  of  the  census. 

They  gain  constantly — tiiey  gain  more  by  emigration,  more 

laatural  increase  in  proportion  to  their  numbers,  more  by 

|intermarriages,  adoption,  and  conversion,  than  the  Protestants* 

yiVith  their  exclusive  views  of  salvation,  and  peculiar  tenete-^ 

rfii  soon  as  they  have  the  majority  this  becomes  a  Catholie  . 

^^untry,  Vith  a  Catholic  government,  with  the  Catholic  r^i« 

established  by  law.    Is  this  a  great  change  1    A  greater 

ige  has  taken  place  among  the  British,  the  Medest  and 

Persians,  of  Eufope,  the  nolumus  leges  mutari  people.    What 

*ien  will  the  natural  order  and  progress  of  events  now  m 

here  not  produce  11  only  speak  of  this*— I  don't  dread 

||t ;  I  hope,  and  trust,  and  pray  that  it  may  be  so ;  not  because 

P  think  them  right,  for  I  don't,  but  because  they  are  a  Chri*. 

'  tian  church,  an  old  church,  a  consistent  church,  and  because 

it  is  a  church,  and  any  sect  is  better  than  the  substitution  of« 

pold,   speculative    philosophy  for    religion,  as  we  see  too 

[frequently  among  us.     We  are  too  greedy  to  bo  moral,  toe 

^sell-sufficient  to  be  pious,  and  too  independent  to  be  religious. 

I  tlnited  under  one  bead,  and  obedient  to  that  head,  with  the 

^countenance  and  aid  of  the  whole  Catholic  worM,  what  cam 

^ithey  not  achieve  ?    Yes,  it  is  the  only  cure  that  time  and  a 

kind  and  merciful  Providence  has  in  store  for  us.     We  shall 

be  a  Catholic  country. 

Sam,  my  heart  is  broken ! — my  last  tie  is  severed,  and  I 
am  now  descendin'  to  the  grave  full  of  years* and  full  of 
sorrows  1    I  have  received  my  dismissal ;  my  eiders  have 


Ilooiidl 

itireh;  It 
tter  than 
Pilgrims. 
CathoKe 
chof  tlM' 
ling  tueh 
hear  him 
hink  sol 
erything*  «i. 
it ;  a  ma* 
ty  tslaw. 
majority. 
it»  ax4  I 

tion»  more 
I,  more  by 
rote8tan)e« 

r  ten«t»-r 
I  Catholie  . 
thoVic  Ttli* 
A  greater 
ledioB)  and 
le.    Wbftt 
ts  now  in 
onH  dread 
ot  because 
«  a  Chris* 
id  because 
tution  of  « 
see  too 
moral)  toe 
)  religious, 
with  the 
what  ca« 
ime  and  a 
We  shall 


e 


A  HnrifTBR.  I9l 

waited  upon  me  with  the  appallin*  information  that  they  have 
given  a  call  to  a  Unitarian,  and  have  no  fbrther  need  of  my 
services*  My  labours,  Sam,  were  not  worth  having—that*s  a 
flict ;  I  am  now  old,  grey 'headed,  and  infirm,  and  worn  out  in 
the  service  of  m^  master.  It  was  time  for  me  to  retire. 
Tempus  abire  tibioest.  (I  hope  you  havVt  forgot  what  little 
Latin  you  had,  Sam.)  I  don't  blame  'em  for  that  ;^-but  a 
Unitarian  in  my  pulpit  I  It  has  killed  ipe~-I  eanne*  survive 
it ;  and  he  cried  like  a  child.  I  looked  on  'em,  said  he,  as 
My  children— I  loved  'em  as  my  own — taught  'em  their  infiint 
prayers— I  led  *eai  to  the  altar  of  the  Lord,  1  ied  'em  with  the 
mead  of  liie,  encouraged  'em  when  they  was  right,  reproved 
*em  when  they  was  wrong,  and  watched  over  'em  itlways. 
Where  now  is  my  flock  1  and  what  account  shall  1  give  of  the 
shepherd  7  Oh,  Sam,  willinl'y  would  I  offer  up  my  life  fbr 
'em  as  a  sacrifice,  but  it  may  not  be.  My  poor  flock,  my 
dear  children,  my  lost  sheep,  that  I  should  have  lived  to  have 
•sen  this  day  I— and  he  hid  his  face  in  his  hands,  and  moane^ 
Utterly. 

Poor  old  gentleman,  it  had  been  too  much  for  him ;  it  was 
evident  that  it  had  aflfiicted  his  head  as  well  as  his  heart.  And 
this  I  will  say,  that  a  better  head  and  a  better  heart  there  ain't 
this  day  in  the  United  States  of  America  than  minis^r  Joshua 
Hopewell's  of  Slickville.  f.  am  glad  to  hear  you  speak  so 
afiectionately  of  him,  said  I.  It  shows  there  are  good  and 
warm  hearts  in  Slickville  besides  his :  but  do  you  really  think 
be  was  delirious  ?  No  doubt  in  the  world  on  it,  said  he.  If 
vou  had  aseen  him  and  lieerd  him,. you  would  have  felt  that 
his  troubles  had  swompified  him.  It  was  gone  goose  with 
Mm,-~thai's  a  fact.  TiMit  he  spoke  under  the  influence  of 
excited  feelings,  I  replied,  and  with  a  heart  filled  with  gVief 
and  indignation,  there  can  be  no  doubt ;  but  I  see  no  evidence 
of  delirium ;  on  the  contrary,  his  remarks  strike  me  as  most 
eloquent  and  original.  They  have  made  a  great  impression 
upon  me,  and  I  shall  long  rennember  the  eonfettiont  of  a 
dtmaed  mtm«<er. 

a* 


red,  and  I 
Dd  full  of 
Iders  have 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

CANADIAN  POLITICS. 

Tm  next  day.  we  reached  Clare,  a  township  wholly  settled 
by  deeoendants  of  the  Acadian  French.  The  moment  yoii 
pass  the  bridge  at  Scissiboo,  you  become  sensible  that  you,are 
in  J|  foreign  country.  And  here  I  must  enter  my  {>rote8t 
.against  that  American  custom  of  changing  the  old  and  appro* 
priate  names  of  places,  for  the  new  and  inappropriate  onei- 
c(f  Europe.  Scissiboo  is  the  Indian  name  of  this  longu^dd 
beautiful  river,  and  signifies  the  great  deep,  and  should  Jiave 
been  retained,  not  merely  becaiise  it  was  its  proper  nafncii^^ 
bat  on  account  of  its  antiquity,  its  legends,  and,  above  all| 
because  the  river  had  a  naihe,  which  the  minor  streams  of  tM 
province  have  not.  A  country,  in  my  opinion  is  robbed  of 
half  of  its  charms  when  its  streams,  like  those  of  NOvn 
Sootia,  have  no  other  names  than  those  of  the  proprietors  of 
the  lands  through  which  they  pass,  and  change  them  as  oAen 
as  the  soil  changes  owners.  Scissiboo  sounded  too  savage 
and  uncouch  in  the  ears  of  the  inhabitants,  and  they  changed 
It  to  Weymouth,  but  they  must  excuse  me  for  adopting  the 
old  reading. 

I  am  no  democrat;  I  like  old  names  and  the  traditiona 
belonging  to  them.  I  am  itio  friend  to  novelties.  There  has 
been  a  redaction  in  Upper  Canada.  The  movement  party  in 
tiMit  colony,  with  great  form  and  ceremony,  conferred  the 
name  of  Little  York  upon  the  capital  of  the  colony ;  but  the 
Conservatives  have  adopted  the  ancient  order  of  things,  and 
wkh  equal  taste  and  good  feeling  have  restored  the  name  of 
Toronto.  I  hope  to  see  the  same  restoration  at  Scissiboo,  at 
Tatam-agouche,  and  other  places  where  the  spoiler  has  beeoi^' 

There  is  something  very  interesting  in  4hese  Acadiant* 
They  are  the  lineal  descendants  of  those  who  made  the  fiirail 
effective  settlement  in  North  America,  in  1606,  under  Do 
Monts,  and  have  retained  to  this  day  the  dress,  customs, 
language,  and  religion  of  their  ancestors.  They  are  a  peace- 
able, contented,  and  happy  people;  and  have  escaped  the 
temptations  of  English  agitators,  French  atheists,  and  domeatio 
damaiKMnieB.  ^  - 


QABAMAV  POLITHS, 


vn 


y  settled 
[lent  yoii 
t  you,are 
Y  proteel 
id  appro* 
late  onei 
longji^ild 
luld  Jiave 
er  nafiiet 
ibove  feU| 
mt  of  the 
robbed  of 
of  Ndv«i 
rieten  of 
n  as  often 
K>  savage 
r  changed 
>pting  the 

traditions 
There  has 

party  in 
erred  the 
but  the 
lings,  and 

name  of 
issibooi  at 
has  been. 
Aoadians* 
the  first 
under  De 

customs, 
e  a  peace* 
leaped  the 
1  domestic 


I  have  ofVsn  been  amazed,  said  the  Clockmaker,  when 
travelling  among  the  Canadians,  to  see  what  curious  critters 
they  be.  The^  leave  the  marketin'  to  the  women,  and  their 
business  to  their  notaries,  the  care  of  their  souls  to  the  priests, 
and  of  their  bodies  to  their  doctors,  and  resarve  only  froliekin*, 
dancin',  singin*,  fidlin',  and  gasconadin*  to  themselves.  They 
ant  as  merry  as  crickets,  and  as  hajppy  as  the  day  is  Ions. 
Doo*t  care  a  straw  how  the  world  jogs,  who's  up  or  who^s 
down,  who  reigns  or  who  is  deposed.  Ask  *em  who  is  King, 
and  they  believe  Papinor  is  \  who  is  Pope,  and  they  believe 
their  bishop  is;  who  is  the  best  off  in  the  world,  and  they 
believe  Mount-Sheer  Chatterbox  Habitan  is.  How  is  it  thai, 
said  I,  they  are  just  on  the  eve  of  a  rebellion  T  If  they  are 
so  x^ntented  and  happy  as  you  represent  them,  what  can 
induce  them  to  involve  the  country  in  all  the  horrors  of  a  dvil 
war  i  and  voluntarily  incur  all  the  penalties  of  treason,  and 
the  miseries  of  a  revolution  1  '  -^ 

■  Because,  said  he,  they  are  gist  what  I  have  described  thefn 
tp.be— because  they  don't  know  nothin'.  They  are  as  weak 
as  Taunton  water,  and  all  the  world  knows  that  that  won't 
even  run  down  hill.  They  won't  do  nothin'  but  gist  as  thvjr 
are  bid.  Their  notaries  and  doctors  tell  'em,'~-them  sacra 
diabola  foutera  English  are  agoin''by  and  bv  to  ship  'em  out 
of  the  country ;  and  in  the  mean  time  rob  'em,  plunder  ^em, 
and  tax  'em; — hang  their  priests,  seize  their  galls,  and  play 
hell  and  Tommy  with  them,  and  all  because  they  speak 
iE!]renph.  Ha^  beang,  says  Habitan,  up  and  at  them  then,  and 
let  'em  have  it  1  But  how  can  we  manage  all  them  redcoats  T 
Ob!  says  their. leaders,  old  France  will  send  a  fleet  and 
sodi^rs,  and  Yankies  will  send  an  army.  Yankies  very  fond' 
of  us, — all  larnin'  French  apurpose ; — very  fond  of  Catholics 
too,  all  thro'  New  England; — great  friend  of  oum, — hate 
£kiglish  like  the  diable.  Allong  dong,  then,  they  say;  up 
and  cut  their  throats !  and  when  winter  comes,  burn  'em  up, 
himff  'am  up,— use  'em  up!  One  grand  French  nation  we 
shall  have  here  then ;  all  French,  and  no  sacra  English. 

,But  do  they  really  talk  such  nonsense  to  them  as  that,  or 
ajre  they  such  fools  to  believe  it  ?  Fact,  I  assure  you  ;  they 
aie  sougnorant  they  believe  it  all,  and  will  believe  anything 
they  tell  'em.  It  is  a  comfortable  ignorance  they  are  in  too, 
for  they  are  actilly  the  happiest  critters  on  the  face  of  the 
airth,— but  then  it  is  a  dangerous  ignorance,  for  it  is  so  easily 


Tm  oLOdMAKm. 

impoMd  upon.  I  iuul  been  always  led  to  beliere,  I  Mld^  thtt 
It  WM  1  grett  oonititutional  quettion  that  waa  at  atake,— 'tha 
riglit  to  9top  the  HUppUea ;  and  from  hearing  there  were  to 
many  ipeoulative  and  theoretical  points  of  diapute  between 
thtm  and  the  Bngliah,  aa  to  the  machine^  of  the  local 
govtmmenti  1  thought  they  were  at  leaet  an  enlightened  peo> 
plei  and  one  that,  feeling  they  had  rights,  were  dotermineMcl  to 
maintain  thoae  rights  at  all  haza^.  Oh,  dear,  said  the 
Olookmaker,  where  have  you  been  all  your  born  days,  not  to 
know  better  nor  that?  They  don't  know  nothih*  about  the 
matter,  nor  don't  want  to.  ^'Bvon  them  that  talk  abotit  thoae 
thing!  in  the  Assembly,  don't  know  much  more ;  but  they  giat 
^  khow  enough  to  ax  for  what  tl{,ey  know  they  can't  get,  then 
oall  it  a  grravance,  and  pick  a  quarrel  cibout  it.  Why,  thdy've 
got  all  thcry  want,  and  more  nor  they  could  have  under  us,  or 
My  other  power  on  the  Ace  of  the  airthHhan  the  English,— 
•y,  mora  than  they  could  have  if  they  were  on  their  own 
hook.  They  have  their  own  laws,-— and  plaguy  queer,  old- 
flMhioned  laws  they  are  too,— Old  Scratch  himself  coul^n^ 
understand  'em }  their  parly  voo  language,  religion,  old  cua- 
lomi  and  usages,  and  everything  else,  and  no  taxes  at  all. 

If  such  Is  tne  case,  what  makes  their  leaders  discontented  1 
T\m%  mtiit  be  something  wrong  somewhere,  when  there  is  so 
mueh  dlsaflbotion.  All  that  is  the  matter  may  be  summed  up 
in  000  word,  said  the  Clockmaker,  JFVeneA,— devil  anything 
oIm  but  that— fWncA.  You  cjin't  make  an  Englishnmn  out 
of  a  PrtnehnMn,  any  more  than  you  can  make  a  white  man 
out  of  a  nigger }  if  the  skin  ainH  different,  tlfe  tongue  is.  But, 
laid  I,  though  you  cannot  make  the  Ethiopian  change  his 
•kltt,  you  ean  make  the  Frenchman  change  his  language.  At, 
DOW  you  have  it,  I  guess,  said  he ;  yoiPve  struck  the  right 
nail  on  the  head  this  time.  The  reform  they  want  in  Canada 
is  tO'give  'em  English  laws  and  English  language.  Make  'em 
use  it  in  courts  anid  public  matters,  and  make  an  English  and 
rtot  Ji  t^reneh  colony  of  it ;  and  you  take  the  sting  out  o'  the 
inake,— 4he  critter  becomes  harmless.  Them  doctors  pysOn 
*em.  Them*chaps  go  to  France,  ^jd  .noculated  there  with 
infldelHy,  treason,  and  republicanism,  and  come  out  and 
spread  it  over  the  country  like  small  pox.  They  got  a  bad 
•et  0*  doetori  In  a  gineral.way,  I  tell  you,  and  when  rebellion 
braaki  out  there,  aa  you'll  w»  it  will  to  a  sartainty  by  and  by, 
you*U  Had  thorn  dooton  leadin'  them  on  everywhere,— the 


OAVADIAV   rOLITIOA. 


MRP' 


iMOd^thitt 
itake,— the 
re  were  to 
to  between 
the  kxsel 
^tenedpeo- 
termined  to 
r,  raid  the 
ftys,  BOt  to 
'  about  the 
ftbotit  thoee 
ut  they  gbt 
*t  get,  then 
hy,  thdv've 
nder  uA,  or 
Bng|Ush,— 
I  their  own 
queer,  old- 
elf  couWn'*t 
m,  old  CUB- 
'S at  all. 
3cdntentedT 
I  there  is  so 
summed  op 
il  anything 
lishman  out 
white  man 
ue  is.    But, 
change  his 
;uage.  At, 
the  rigfit 
in  Canada 
Make  *em 
IngUsh  and 
out  o*  the 
iters  pysOn 
there  with 
out  and 
got  abad 
m  rebellion 
by  and  by, 
'here,*'^ne 


mmf  Wont  ftllora  among  'em,—* bbys  of  the  glorioua  July 
jdnys  to  Paris.  Well,  it  is  no  use  atalkin',  squire,  about  ik  |  It 
is  a  pity,  too,  to  see  the  poor  Mmple  critters  so  imposed  upon 
as  tney  be,  for  they'll  catch  it,  if  tney  do  rebel,  to  a  sartamty. 
Gist  as  sure  as  Pappinor  takes  that  stejp  he  is  done  for,— >ho*s 
a  reftigee  in  six  weeks  in  the  States,  with  a  price  set  on  his 
headi  for  the  critter  won't  fight.  The  English  all  §ay  he 
wants  the  clear  grit — ain*t  got  the  stuff— no  ginger  ia-hiro—> 
it*s  all  talk. 

•The  last  time  I  was  to  Montreal,  I  seed  a  good  deal  of  the 
leaders.of  the  French ;  they  were  very  civil  to  me,  and  bought 
ever  so  many  of  my  clocks, — they  said  they  liked  to  trade 
with  their  American  friends,  it  was  proper  to  keep  up  a  good 
ftelin*  among  neighbours.  There  was  one  Doctor  J^rie 
Ihere,  almost  everlastingly  at  my  heels  aintroducin'  of  me  to 
bis  countrymen,  and  recommendin*  them  to  trade  with  me. 
^Wellt  I  went  to  his  shop  one  night,  and  when  he  heerd  my 
Voice,  he  come  out  of  a  back  room,  and,  said  he,  walk  in  here, 
Mount>Sheer  Slick,  I  want  you  for  one  {t^rticular  use  ;  come 
along  with  me,  my  good  fellor,  there  are  some  friends  here 
takinr  of  a  glass  o*  gro^  along  with  me,  and  a  pipe  f— won*t 
-you  join  usT  Well,  said  I,  I  donH  care  if  I  do;  I  won't  be 
starched.  A  pif^e  wouldn't  be  amiss  gist  now,  says  I,  nor  a 
glass  of  grog  neither ;  so  in  I  went ;  but  my  mind  misgived 
^noie  there  was  some  mischief  abrewin'  in  there,  as  I  seed  he 
itolted  the  door  arter  him,  and  so  it  turned  out. 

The  room  was  full  of  chaps,  all  doctors,  and  notaries,  and 
members  of  assembl'%  with  little  short  pipes  in  their  mouths, 
achattin'  away  like  so  many  monkeys,  and  each  man  had  his 
(umbler  o'  hot  rum  and  water  afore  him  on  the  table'.  Sons 
o'  liberty,  says  he,  here's  a  brother,  Mount-Sheer  Slick,  a  haul 
o'  jaw  clockmaker.  Well,  they  all  called  out,  Five  Clock- 
maker  I  No,  says  I,  not  five  clockmakers,  but  only  one ;  and 
hardly  trade  enough  for  him  neither,  I  guess.  Well,  they 
hawbawed  like  any  thing,  for  they  beat  all  natur'  for  larfin , 
them  French.  Five  is  same  as  hurrah,  says  he, — long  life  to 
you !  Oh  I  says  Ij  I  onderstand  now.  No  feaf  of  that,  any 
how,  when  I  am  in  the  hands  of  a  doctor.  Yankee  hit  him 
hard  that  time,  be  gar !  said  a  little  under-sized  parchment- 
skinned  lookin*  lawyer.  May  be  so,  said  the  doctor ;  but  a 
Sgiht  would  stand  as  good  a  chance  for  his  life  in  my  hands, 
I  guess,'  as  he  would  in  youm,  if  he  was  to  be  defended  in 


i' ' 


mo 

•Mrt  1^  Tou.  The  eritttM  all  yelled  rishC  o«t  at  tliie  Joli, 
iMdetruckthe  taUe  with  their  fiets  till  the  glaeaee  eU  rwBg 
^eg^ia.  Boo,  boa,  eavf  they.  Says  the  Doetor,  jDobH  iron 
lilDdenitaod  Franeh,  Mr.  Sliok  7  Ko,  eaya  I,  not  ona  wotfff 1 1 
with  to  goodoeM  I  did  though,  for  I  find  It  tery  awkwaM 
sometinnei  atradin'  without  it.  (I  alwayt  laid  so  #heB  I  itriia 
axed  that  are  question,  so  as  to  hear  what  was  agoiu'  oni  it 
^ped  me  in  my  bvMneas  considerable.  I  could  always  tell 
■  whether  they  actiUy  wanted  a  clock  or  not,  or -whether  tb^ 
;had  the  money  to  pay  for  it :  they  let  out  all  their  seerets.) 
^ould  you  like  to  see  a  bulKbaiti  said  he{  we  are  goin*  lo^ 
beit  a  bull  winter  arter  next,— <rand  Ain,  said  he )  we*ll  put* 
fire  to  his  tail, — stick  squibs  antlmatches  into  his  hide»-HniilBe 
him  kick,  and  roar,  and  toss,  like  the  diable;  then  well  ptit 
Uie  do^  on,  worry  him  so  long  as  he  can  stand,— 4hen,i  tarn 
him,  kill  Iiim,  skin  him,  and  throw  his  stinkin*  earoass  td  the 
«|k>gs  and  de  crows.  Yes,  said  the  other  fellors,  kill  him,  damn 
him,— kill  himl  and  they  got  up  and  wared  their  glaatsesoter 
their  Jieads ;— death  to  the  beast  **dla  lantenM.'* 
«  Says  one  of  them  in  FrsmsH  to  the  doctor,  Prenny  garde««*> 
«re  you  sure,  are  you  dear  he  is  not  Bufflish  I  Oh,  sartaln, 
said  he  in  the  same  lingo;  he  is  a  zankee  elookmakin* 
eheatin*  vagabond  from  wtston,  or  thereabouts ;  but  we  mnit 
owrt  him,— we  must  be  civil  to  tliem  if  we  expect  their  .aid. 
If  we  once  get  cleai;  o'  the  English  we  will  soon  rid  ottraelfea 
of  them  too.  They  are  chips  of  the  old  block)  them  Yankees; 
ta  bad  breed  on  bdth  sides  o*  the  water.  Then  tumin*  to  r^, 
jays  ne,  I  was  just  desirin'  these  gentlemen,  Mr.  Stick,  to 
dnnk  your  health,  and  that  of  the  United  States.  Thank  yon, 
•ays  I,  I  believe  our  people  and  the  French  onderstami  each 
mheryer^  well ;  a  very  dUinteriated  friendship  on  both  sides. 
jCHi,  sartain,  says  he,  apultin*  of  his  hand  on  his  lieart,  and 
lodcin'  spooney.  One  sentiment,  one  srand  sympathy  of 
feelin*,  one  real  amitty  yea.  Your  health,  sir,  said  he ;  and 
Ih^  all  stood  up  ag'in  and  made  a  deuce  of  a  roar  over  it 
Five  Americanes  1 

I- hope  yocMiave  good  dogs,  said  I,  for  your  bi^il-bait?  Oh, 
true  breed  and  no  mistake,  said  he.  It  takes  a  oonsiderable 
of  a  sttff  dk^,  says  I,  and  one  of  the  real  grit,  to  fhce  a  buH. 
Them  follors,  when  they  get  their  danders  up,  are  plaguy  - 
onsafe  critters ;  they'll  toss  and  gore  the  oommpn  kind  MM 
iiothin*,^»-make  nil  fly  ag'in :  it  aia*t  overniafo  to  come  ton 


qAMMBUm  fOUTMi. 


l«l 


U  fWB| 

aH  von 

wkwmfi 

■  liirip 

OB }  it 

lyi  Ml 

Mfltf.) 

joln»  10^, 
«*11  put 


^*tl  put 

BDittattl 

•  tdtlw 
III  dftniii 
■MOter 

•artaiti, 
imftkin* 
wtmvmt 
Mir  aid. 
ufffelvflt 
•Dkeet; 
*  tor^, 
Itick,  to 
nkyoo, 
id  cwuSh 
I  tides, 
irt,  and 
athjr  of 
le;  and 
over  it. 

Itl  Oh, 
ideiabte 
abuH. 

« 

»ine  to6 


Opr  *wn  when  tliejf  are  once  ikirly  railed.  If  there  if  aayi  - 
thin*  hi  natur'  rm  afeerd  on,  it*e  a  bull  when  he  ie  ryled.  Oh 
mm,  mid  he,  we  got  the  d(^  plenty  of  *eoi  too/— genuine 
.bleed  iirem  old'^rranoe,  kq>t  pure  ever  since  it  came  here, 
^nsoept  a  slight  touch  of  the  fox  and  the  wolf;  the  one  makee 
.!«ni  run  finiter,  and  t'other  bite  sharper.  It*s  a  grand  braed. 
Tliinks  J  to  myself,  I  onderstand  you,  my  hearties.  I  see  your 
drift ;  go  the  whole  figur',  and  do  the  thin|^  genteel.  Try 
^OMr  Mnd  at  it,  will  you  7  and  if  John  Bull  don't  send  you 
/•flyin*  into  the  air  sky^hiah,  in  little  less  than  half  no  time, 
4|*8  a  pity*  A  pretty  set  o*  yelpin*  curs  you  be  to  face  such  a 
^tter  as  he  is,  ain't  you  7  Why,  the  ver/  moment  be  bogtns 
■Ip  paw  and  to, roar,  you'll  run  sneakin'  off  with  your  tails 
atween  your  legs,  a  yelpin'  and  a  squeelin'  as  if  CMd  N'wk 
himself  was  arter  you. 

:  Great  man,  your  Washington,  says  the  do6tor.  Very,  says 
Xi  no  greater  ever  lived — ^p'r'aps  the  world  never  seed  his 
'iditto.  And  Papinor  is  a  great  man,  too,  said  he.  Vdry,  said 
I,  especially  in  the  talking  line — he'd  beat  Washington  at  that 
game,  I  guess,  by  a  long  chalk.  I  hope,  says  he,  some  day 
9r  another,  Mr.  Slick,  and  not.  far  off  neither,  we  shall  be  a 
£fee  and  independent  people,  like.you.  We  shall  be  theFranoe 
of  America  afore  lodg — the  graM  natkm— 4he  great  empire. 
It's  our  distinv'— everything  foretells  it — ^I  can  see  it  as  plain 
is  can  bot  Thinks  I  to  myself,  this  is  a  good  time  to  broach 
our  interest;  and  if  there  is  to  be  a  break-up  here,  to  pot 
in  a  spoke  in  the  wheel  for  our  folks— a  stitch  in  time  saves 
nine.  So,  saya  I,  you  needn't  flatter  yourselves,  doctor; 
you  can't  be  a  distinct  nation ;  it  ain't,  possible,  in  the  natuv* 
0*-things.  Yon  may  jine  us,  if  you  like,  and  there  would  be/ 
lome  sense  in  that  move: — that's  a  fact;  but  you  never  can 
Stand  alone  here — no  more  than  a  lame  man  can  without 
crotches,  oir  a  child  of  six  days  old.  No,  not  if  all  the  colo- 
nies were  to  unite,  you  couldn't  do  it.'  Why,  says  I,  gbt  see 
here,  doctor ;  you  couldn't  show  jour  noses  on  the  fishin' 
around  for  one  minit — you  can  hardly  do  it  now,  even  tho' 
ue  British  have  you  under  their  wing.  Our  foHta  would  drive 
you  off  the  banks,  seize  your  fish,  tear  your  nets,  and  lick 
yoo  like  a*  sack-— and  then  go  home  and  swear  you  attacked 
them  first,  and  our  government  would  seize  the  fisheries  as  an 
indemnification.  How  could  you  support  an  army  and  a 
navy,  and  a  diplomacy,  and  make  fortificatismt.    Why  yen 


an 

•ouldoU  build  snd  tupport  one  flrimte,  nor  imiiiitatn  due  Nti- 
»ent,  nor  garrison  Quebec  itMir,let  alone  the  out-potti.  Our 
folks  would  navigate  the  St.  Lawienoe  in  •pite  of  your  teeth, 
^end  the  8t.  John  River  too,  and  how  could  you  help  your- 
*jMlvea1  .They'd  smuggle  you  out  of  your  eye-teeth,  and 
.«wear  ybu  never  had  anv.  Our^flir  tradera  wottld  attack  your 
Air  traders,  and  drive  'em  all' in.  Our  people  would  enter 
here,  and  settle— then  kick  up  a  row,  call  for  American  volun- 
teers^ declare  tbomselves  independent,  and  ask  admission  into 
the  Union ;  and  afore  you  know'd  where  you  were,  you'd  And 
yourselves  one  of  our  states.  Gist  look  at  what  is  goin'  on 
to  Texas,  and  what  has  gone  on  to  Florida,  and  then  see  what 
will  go  on  here.  We  slwll  own  clean  away  up  to  the  Norlhr 
and  South  Pole,  afore  we're  done. 

Says  the  doctor,  in  French,  to  the  oilier  chaps,  that  wouM 
he  worse  than  bein'  a  colony  to  the  Kug>ish.    Them  Yaiikee 

thnt 

says 
muet 

be  the  grand  nation,  and  the  great  empire,  ourselves— and  he 
•tou't,  went  to  the  door,  un^lted  it,  looked  round  the' shop^ 
ana  then  turned  the  bolt  ag'in.  Would  your  folks,  sayti  he, 
help  us,  if  we  was  to-  reN">it,  Mr.  Slick.  Certainly,  said  I ; 
they'd  help  you  all  they  sould,  and  not  go  to  war  with  the 
British.  *They'd  leave  all  the  annories  on  the  line  unguarded, 
80  you  could  run  over  and  pretend  to  rob  'em,  and  leave  all 
the  cannon  in  the  forts  without  any  body  to  see  arter  them,  ao 
ypu  might  have  thorn  if  you  wanted  them.  Lots  o'  chaps 
would  volunteer  in  your  ranks,  and  our  dtiacens  would  sub- 
scribe handsum'.  They'd  set  up  a  claim  pretty  fierce,  at  the 
same  time,  about  the  New  Brunswick  boundary  line,  so  as  to 
make  a  devarsion  in  your  favour  in  that  quarter.  We  can't 
go  to  war  gist  now ;  it  would  ruin  us,  stock  and  fluke»  We 
ahould  lose  our  trade  and  shippin',  and  our'  nigeers  and  Ind- 
giaos  are  ugly  customers,  and  would  take  a  whole  army  to 
watch  them  in  case  of  a  war.  We'd  do  all  we  could  to  help 
you  as  a  people^  but  not  as  a  government.  We'd  /urnish  you 
with  arms,  ammunition,  provisions,  money,  and  volunteers. 
We'd  let  you  into  our  country,  but  not  the  British.  We'd 
help  you  to  arrange  your  plans  and  to  derange  them.  But 
we'd  have  to  respect  our  treaties,  for  we  are  a  high*minded, 
right-minded,  sound-minded,  and  religious  peo{:4e%    We  scru- 


on 


Qimkvuw  rouTMii  Mi 

ftikNitly  flilAl  oar  onfMMiMBta.  What  wt  vs^irtalio  w 
p«r(brm— tlior*0  no  mittaka  in  im— you  always  koow  whaie 
lo  And  u«.  Wa  am  undar  great  obligatiom  to  tha  BHUsh-f- 
Ibay  aaved  ut  iVoni  tba  axpenia  and  mitariat  of  a  war  witi 
^rano^-they  have  built  uf  up  with  tbair  capital  and  thair 
oredit,  and  are  our  liioet  cuitoroers.  We  could  not,  consist* 
antly  with  our  treatiau  or  our  conscience,  send  an  army  or  a 
#ivy  to  help  you ;  but  we  will  hire  you  or  lend  you  our 
,  ^Itaam-boats,  and  other  craft ;  send  you  men  to  make  anarmyt 
snd  the  stuff  to  f«ecl,  clothe,  arm,  and  pay  them.  In  short, 
Ihe  nations  of  the  airth  will  look  on  with  admiration  at  the 
justice  and  integrity  of  our  doings.  We  shsU  respect  tha 
treaty  with  the  British  on  one  side,  and  prove  ourselves  a 
kind,  a  libec(il,  and  most  obliging  neighbour  to  you  on  tha 
/Qthar*  Qovernment  will  issue  proclamations  agoinst  interiW 
ranee.  The  press  of  the  country  will  encourage  it.  Tha 
pition  will  be  neutral,  but  every  soul  in  it  will  aid  you.  Yaa^ 
wa  ace  of  straight  as  a  shingle  in  our  dealings,  and  do  thi*|B 
'  fibove  boord  handsum*.  We  do  love  a  fair  deal  above  aU 
things — that's  a  fact.    Botit  bon  !  says  they,  Xes  at 


^If  laalcme— and  thev  broke  out  a<singin\  dla  laiUemt* 
^^  was  now  twelve  o'clock  at  night  when  we  quit,  and  gift 
as  we  got  into  the  street,  I  heerd  the  word  Doric,  Doric7  and 
jpya  I,  what  on  airth  is  thoti  what  sort  o^  critter  is  a  Dc^cl 
-i^  Poric  is  a  loyalist,  says  theyr-a  diable  bull,— -sacra/afM 
!»i>-kill  him,-p-aAd  they  arter  him,  full  split  like  the  wind, 
ijaugbt  himi  knocked  him  down,  and  most  finished  him — thc^ 
0*en  almost  beat  him  to  a  jelly,  and  left  him  for  dead.  That% 
the  way,  says  they,  we'll  sarve  every  Engluhman  m  Canadft 
i?->axtarmioato  'em,  damn  'em.  Time  for  me  to  be  off,  says 
I,  almost,  I'm  athinkin';  it's  considerable  well  on  towardi 
mornin'.  Good  night.  Mount  Sheer.  Bon  meant  BonuwoH^ 
says  they,  singin' — 

**(Mi !  sa  ira,  $a  ira,  ca  ira. 
Lea  ariatoorata,'  S  la lanteme.** 

And  the  last  I  heerd  of  them,  at  the  end  of  the  street,  was  an 
everlostin'  almighty  shout.  Five  Papinor — ^five  Papinor  I 

Yes,  I  pity  'them  ppor  Canadians,  said  tho  Clockmaker. 

They  ace  a  loyal,  contented,  happy  people,  if  them  sarpents 

of  doctors  and  lawyers  would  leave  'em  alone,  and  let  'em  be, 

and  not  pyson  their  minds  with  all  sorts  of  lies  and  locruma 

12 


« \ 


•tool  tMr  fwmmHkt,    Tlwy  will  9pnnk  *tm  to  rabilHoa  M 
Ititi  and  when  it  doM  come  to  th*  tortteh  thty  will  dMMt 


'•m  M  tura  at 


eggiii^ 


and  leave  *em  to  be  ahol  down 


by  th»  aodgan ;  tlbey  aln*i  able  of  ihemaeUrea  to  do  nothin*, 
thain  Oanadiani ;  they  ain't  got  the  meant,  nor  the  energy, 
•or  the  knowledge  fbr  it  i  they  ain't  Hke  the  daacendanta  of 
the  Pilgrimt*— that't  a  Aot.  The  wortt  of  it  ia,  too,  the 
pdnithment  won't  fill!  on  the  right  headt  neither,  he  them 
«rfllvrv  will  out  and  run  to  a  tartaintyt — I  know  it,  l*m  e*tD 
A*mott  ture  of  it,— if  they'd  ahad  the  true  blue  in  *em,  they 
Widttldn*!  hate  half  murdered  and  maimed  that  poor  deiknaa* 
laia  Doric,  at  they  did.  None  but  cowardt  do  *em  are  thinga} 
«>Hi  brave  man  flghtt,— a  coward  tticka  a  bowie  knifk  into 
your  riba{  but  p'rhapa  it  will  all  turn  out  ft>r  the  bett  in  the 
•end,  taid  he;  (or  if  there  it  a  blow  up,  Paplnor  will  off  to  the 
itatea  Aill  ehiael  with  the  other  leadert, — the  flrtt  thoC,  ond 
them  that^they  catch  and  hang  can  never  thow  their  ftote  in 
Oinada  affbi.  It  will  clear  the  oountrv  of  them,  aa  they  clear 
'i  botite  w  ratt,— fVighten  *em  out  of  their  aeven  aenaaa  by 
Aria'  off  o  gun. 

A  ikwmmfermt  'aoaire,  taii  the  Cloehi»aker,mo§l  mimafa 
oeolt  tktairt  tUan  the  tity,  lajf»  the  duet,  and  makee  att  kik 
'lil^md  right  a$Hn. 

Bvery  thing  will  depend  on  how  the  Bogliah  work  it  arterw 
imrda  i  if  they  blunder  ag*in,  they'll  never  be  aWe  to  aet  H  to 
rigbta.  What  courte  oufflit  they  to  adopt  t  aaid  I,  fbr  the  aub- 
laet  it  one*  in  which  I  nel  great  intetatt.  Ill  tell  yon,  taid 
Bt.  Pint,  they  tbould  — -,  and  he  auddenly  eheolied  bim- 
t^t,  aa  if  doobtlbt  of  the  propriety  of  anawering  the  quaation; 
-—and  then  tmiting,  at  if  he  had  diacovered  a  mode  of  eaeaptng 
fbe  difficulty,  he  oontinued— They  thould  make  you  pUmpo, 
•D^  appoint  me  yout  aeoretary. 


\  \ 


mmmtw. 


CHAPTER  XVIL 


▲  OVU  fOR  ■MUOQUlia 

Whtmer  natur  dou  U«uit  man  do€§  mo§it  teid  tb«  Clook* 
Out  tM  ths  diflbreno*  atwoen  tbeM  iblki  ben  to 
Livtrpool  tnd  them  up  the  bay  of  Fundy.  There  Mtur*  has 
given  them  the  Aoeet  country  in  the  worldf— abe  haa  tekea 
away  all  the  aoU  from  thia  place,  and  chucked  it  out  themi 
and  left  uothb*  but  rocki  and  ilonea  here.  There  they  giat 
vegetate*  and  here  theygO'aheed  like  anything.  I  waa  credU 
bly  informed,  when  jLiverpoo^  waa  first  aettled,  folks  had  to 
oarry  little  light  ladders  on  their  shoulders  to  climb  over  the 
rooks,  and  now  they've  got  better  streets,  better  housee,  bellar 
gardens,  and  a  better  town  than  any  of  the  bayroeo.  Tktif 
earry  on  a  considerable  of  a  fishery  here,  and  do  a  gnat 
stroke  in  the  timber*business. 

I  shall  never  forget  a  talk  I  had  with  Ichabod  Oatee  hM 
and  a  frolio  him  and  me  had  with  a  tide-waiter.,  Ichabod  hM 
0  large  store  o*  goods,  and  I  was  in  there  one  eveniQ*  adrinUn' 
tea  along  with  him,  and  we  got  atalkin*  about  smuggUa*. 
Saya  he,  Mr.  Slick,  your  people  ruin  the  trade  here,  they  da 
smuggle  so;  I  don't  know  as  I  ever  shall  be  able  to  get  rid 
of  my  stock  of  ^[oods,  and  it  cost  me  a  considerable  of  a  mmi 
too.  What  a  pity  it  is  them  navy  people,  instead  of  ot^nyin* 
freights  of  money  from  the  West  Inagies,  wam't  empk>yed 
more  a  protectin'  of  our  fisheries  and  our  trade.  Why  doo*t 
you  arouggie  then  too,  says  I,  and  meet  'em  in  their  own  way  t 
—tit  for  tat-— diamond  cut  diamond-^smuggle  yourselves  and 
seize  them; — free  trade  and  sailors'  rights  is  our  maxim* 
Why,  says  he,  I  ain't  ^st  altogether  certified  that  it's  right  { 
it  goes  agin'  my  conscience  to  do  the  like  o'  that  are,  and.  I 
must  sav  I  like  a  fair  deal.  In  a  mineral  way  a'moet  I've 
observed  what's  got  over  the  devil's  back  is  commonly  lost 
under  his  belly.  It  don't  seem  to  wear  well.  Well,  that'a 
onconvenient,  too,  to  be  so  thin  skinned,  said  I ;  for  conscience 
moat  commonl;  li!\s  a  hide  as  thick  as  the  soul  of  one's  foot ; 
vou  may  cover  it  with  leather  to  make  it  look  decent>like,  but 
It  will  bear  a  considerable  hard  scrubbin'  without  any  thing 


ofer  it.  Now,  says  I,  I  will  put  you  on  a  track  that  wiO 
aarve  you  without  bringin'  corns  on  your  .conscience  either. 
Do  you  gist  pretend  to  smuggle  and  make  believe  as  if  you 
were  agoin*  the  whole  hog  m  it^  It*8  safer,  and  full  out  as 
profitable  as  the'rael  thing,  and  besides  there's  no  sort  o'  risk 
IQ  it  in  the  world.  .When  folks  hear  a  thing  is  smuggled  they 
ali^^ys  think  it's  cEeap,  and  never  look  into  the  price ;  they 
hki»  directly— it's  a  grand  bait  that.  Now  always  onload 
your  vessels  at  night,  and  let  folks  hear  a  cart  agoin'  into 
your  place  atween  two  and  three  o'clock  in  the  mornin';  iik 
oae  o  the  axles  so  it  will  squeak  like  a  pig^  and  do  you  loofc 
WMfttcious,  mysterious,  atid  oneasy.  Says  you,  (when  a  chap* 
•ays,  I  guess  you  were  up  late  last  night,)  ax  n^  no  questionjl 
and  I'll  tell  you  rp  lies.  There  are  so  many  pimpin*  eyes 
•bout  now,  a  body  has  to  be  cautious  if  he  don't  want  to' gel 
into  the  centre  of  a  hobble.  If  I'm  up  late  I  guess  it's  nobody*!! 
foiskiess  b«it  my  own  4*m  about  any  how ;  but  I  hope  yoii 
woah  make  no  remarks  about  what  you  seed  or  heml. 

Well,  when  a  feller  axes  arter  a  thing,  do  you  gist  stand 
and  look  at  him  for  a  space  without  sayin'  a  word,  enquirin' 
like  ^ith  a  dubersum'  look,  as  if  you  didn't  know  as  you  could 
trust  him  or  no ;  then  gist  wink,  put  your  finger  on  your  nosti^ 
and  say  mum  is  the  word.  Take  a  oandle  and  light  it,  and 
say,  Ibller  roe  now,  and  take  him  into  the  cellar.  Now,  says 
you,  friend,  )don't  betray  me,  I  beseech  you,  for  your  lile  | 
ikokh  bt  on  to  any  one  about  this  place  ;—>people  will  neveir 
Auik  o'  su^Msctin'  me  if  you  only  keep  dark  about  it.  I'll  Irt 
Vou  see  some  things,  says  you,  that  will  please  you,  I  know ; 
Mit  don't  blow  me — that's  a  good  soul.  This  anlcle,  says 
you,  atakin'  up  one  that  cost  three  pounds,  I  can  afford  to  ret 
you  have  as  low  as  five  pounds,  and  that  one  as  cheap  as  sijt 
JKmnds,  on  one  condition, — but  mind  you,  it's  on  them  terms 
only, — and  that  is  that  you  don't  tell  any  one,  not  even  your 
Mdfe,  where  you  got  it ;  but  you  must  promise  me  cnv  the  word 
and  honour  of  isi  man.  The  critter  will  fall  right  into  the  trap, 
maid  aiweat  by  all  that's  good  he'll  never  breathe  it  to  a  livin* 
•oul,  and  then  go  right  off  and  tell  his  wife,  and  you  might  qjs 
well  pour  a  thing  into  a  filterin'  stone  as  into  a  woman's  eav| 
it  will  run  right  thro',  and  she'll  go  a  braggin'  tcr  her  neigfi^ 
hours  of  the  bargain  they  got,  and  swear  them  to  secrecy,  an# 
they'll  tell  the  whole  country  in  the  tome  way,  as  a  secret,  of 
^  ch«i^  things  Ichabod  Gates  has.    Well,  the  excise  folki 


A  cuBB  FOR  SMcaouiro.  *  ^ 

wHl  toon  hetr  o*  this,  and  come  and  rotch  your  bouM  from 
tOfi^  to  bottom^  and  t^  sarch  will  niake  your  fortin*,  finrt  M 
tlwy  can't  find  nothin',  you  will  get  the  credit  of  doin*  tb» 
officers  in  great  style. 

Well,  well,  said  Ichabod,  if  you  Yankees  don*t  bwt  all  m» 
tur*.  I  don't  believe  in  my  soul  there's  a  critter  In  all  Not* 
Scotia  would  athought  o'  such  a  scheme  as  that,  but  it's  a 
grand  joke,  and  comports  with  conscience,  ibr  it  partllelt 
pretty  close  with  the  truth :  111  try  it.  Try  it,  says  I,  to  bt 
sure ;  let's  go  right  off  this  blessed  night,  and  hide  away  a 
parcel  of  your  goods  in  the  cellar,-— put  some  m  the  ganvk 
aipd  some  m  the  gig>house.  Begin  and  sell  to-morrow,  and  all 
the  time  I'm  to  Liverpool  I'll  keep  arunnin'  in  and  out  o*  yotit 
house ;  sometimes,  I'll  gist  come  to  tlie  comer  of  the  fe Afl«i 
put  my  head  over  and  draw  it  back  ag'in  as  if  I  didn't  want 
folks  to  see  me,  and  sometimes  I'll  nuke  as  if  I  was  ago4a* 
out,  and  if  I  see  any  one  acomin'^  I'll  spring  beck  and  nidt* 
behind  the  door;  it  will  set  the  whole  town  on  the  look«Ottl^^ 
uad  they'll  say  it's  me  that's  asmugglin*  either  on  my  own 
hook  or  youm.  In  three  days  he  bad  a  great  run  o*  eustboii 
particularly  arter  night-fitllf  It  was  fiin  alive  to  see  how  tha 
critters  were  bammed  by  that  hoax. 

On  the  fifth  day  the  tide-waiter  came.    Mr.  Slick,  Mya  be, 

Fve  got  information  th Glad  to  hear  it,  tayi  1 1  aa 

officer  without  information  would  be  a  poor  tool—4hat*t  a 
fi»it.  Well,  it  brought  him  up  all  standin*.  Says  he,  do  you 
know  who  you  are  atalkin'  to  ?  Yes,  says  I,  guess  I  do )  I'flBi' 
telkin'  to  a  man  of  information ;  and  that  bein'  the  case,  I'tt' 
be  so  bold  as  to  ax  ^ou  one  question,—- have  yoiuuiy  thiiq|  tSi 
say  to  met  for  I'm  in  a  considerable  of  a  hurry.  Yes,  aaUr 
he,  I  have.  I'm  informed  you  have  smuggled  goods  in  the 
hcuse.  Wen,  then,  says  1,  you  can  say  what  many  jeiHa' 
can't  boast  on  at  any  rate.  What's  thatY  lays  he.  Why» 
says  I,  that  you  are  sum-informed. 

Mr.  Gates,  said  he,  give  me  a  candle,  I  must  go4o  the  odlaft 
Sutainly,  sir,  said  Ichabod,  you  may  sarch  wher^  you  pleale  t 
Fve  never  smuggled  yet,  and  I  am  not  agoin'  iiow  to  oommenea 
at  my  time  of  life.  As  soon  as  he  ffi>t  the  bandli,  and  was 
a^in'  down  to  the  cellar  with  Gates,!  called  out  to  Ichabod. 
»»re,  says  I,  Ich,  run  quick,  for  your  life— now's  your  time  | 
flind  off  we  ran  up  stairs  as  fiutt  as  we  could  leg  it,  and  locked 
the  door ;  the  saroher  heerin'  that,  up  too  aao  arter  iif  bol 
18* 


iW  •    TBB  OLOCUMUib... 

fdOti  and  tnist  open  the  door*  As  toOB  as  we  heerd  him  mkvff 
o#^hii^  wi^out  V  the  other  door  and  locked  that  alaOy  and 
dOim  the  back  stairs  to  where  we  started  from.    It  wa»  tomi 
time  afore  he  broke  in  the  second  door,  and  than  he  fpMeJw4' 
ui  down,  lookin*  like  a  proper  fool.    PU  jfwiy  you  opi  ibir  this, 
siMhetome.    I  hope  so,  said  I,  and  Ichabod  too.    Aprettj^t 
tiMM  6*  ^y  this,  when  folks  ean  tare  and  race  oyer  »  diNsenl^i 
miii*s  house,  and  smash  all  aford  him  this  way  for  nottunV 
fMh<^V   Them  doors  you  broke  all  to  pieces  will  come  to 
stoiethin*,  you  may  depend ; — a  joke  is  a  joke,  but  thats  no 
jbke.    Arter  that  he  took  his  time,  sarched  the  cellar,  uppc^; 
rbom«^  lower  rooms,  and  garret,  and  found  nothin*  toneiae;.; 
hW  was  alt  cut  up,  and  amazin*  vexed,  and  put  out.    Says  |»i 
friend,  if  you  want  to  catch  a  weasel  you  must  catch  biAa 
a^kiep  j  now  if  you  want  to  catch  me  asmugglinf,  rise  coir.- 
sidemble  airly  in  the  mornin',  will  you]    This  story  madciV 
Ithabod*s  fortin  a- most :  he  had  smuggled  goods  to  tell  foTv 
three  yeeita,  and  yet  no  one  could  find  him  in  the  act,  or  tellrf; 
W^blHre  oad^r  the  sun  he  hid  *em  away  to.    At  last  ^  secti^, 
leikisdDut,  and  it  fairly  broke  up  smugglin' on  the  whola- 
shbre^    That  story  ha»  done  more  nor  twenty  ofl&^ert-i-thatV 
a  feet. 

"^her«^»  nothin*  a'most,  said  the  Clockmaker,  I  like  so  much 
«i  to  see  iblks  cheat  themselves.  I  don't  know  as  I  ev^r 
GAieaf6d,a  man  myself  in  my  life:  I  like  to  do  things  abom. 
bMitd  liaadsum*,  and  go  strait  ahead;  but  if  a  chap  seemti 
btt&t  on  cheatin'  himself,  I  like  to  be  neighbourly,  and  help? 
hink  to  do  it.  I  mind  once,  when  I  wiis  to  the  oastwa)rd  of 
Hk^Jt  atraditt',  r  bought  a  young  horse  to  use  white  I  gaiwi 
Old'CItty  a  run  to  grass.  I  do  that  most  every  fall*  apd  it: 
d^yi  «he  poor  old  crkter  a  deal  of  good.  He  kinder  i^f^fO^  Uh 
H^a  0^  lease  every  time,  it  sets  him  up  so,  Wf B,  h^  waft 
a  m&k  e^cial  horse,  but  he  bad  an  infarnal  temper,  and  i|> 
required  all  my  knowledge  of  horse  flesh  to  manage  him*^ 
Bd*d  kick,  sUft,  back,  bite,  refuse  to  draw,  or  run  i^way,  gist 
as  he  took  the  notion.  I  mastered  him,  but  it  was/  f^  m 
iRfeh  a*  «^  bargain  too ;  and  I  don't  believe,  tho'  I  say.  it  myn 
aalf^  #i(Me  is  any  othergentteman  in.  the  province  cfoM  h^v%  , 
mana^  him  but  me.  Well,  there  was  a  parson  livin'  4pwAi 
theive  that  took  a  great  fancy  to  that  horse.  Whenever  hji 
iMme  adrivln'  by  he  always  stopt  to  look  at  hia  action  aiHl: 
^  Mftdtadmind  htm  omaxiany.    'msisk  I  Jo,  «|iy«M<L^Pii 


A  mxm  rm  iMuoouiro. 


180 


to  inokiIated^it*tt  break  out  sooh^he  b  detanniiied  to 
lillettt  hims^,  and  if  he  ia,  there  ia  no  help  for  it»  aa  I  see,  but 
lb  let  him.  One  day  i  waa  adrivin*  out  at  a  most  a  duce  of  a 
MM,  and  be  stopped  me.  Hallo  i  saya  her  Mr.  Slick,  where 
are  you  agoin'  in  such  a  desperate  hurry  ?  I  want  to  apeak 
a:  word  to  yoi .  So  I  pulls  up  short.  Momin',  says  I,  panKMft, 
how  do  you  do  to-day  ?  That*s  a  very  cleVer  horse  of  youm, 
fays  he.  Middlin -,  says  I ;  he  does  mv  work,  but  he's  notliin' 
tjo  brag  on ;  he  ain*t  gist  equal  to  Old  Clay,  and  I  doubt  if 
there's  are  a  blue-nose  horse  that  is  either.  Fine  actbn  that 
liorsej  said  hd.  Well,  says  I,  people  do  say  he  has  consid^ 
abia  fine  action,  but  that's  better  for  himself  than  rae^  for  n 
makea  him  travel  easier.  v 

M  How  many  miles  will  he  trot  in  the  hour?  said  he.  Well, 
says  I,  if  he  has  a  mind  to  and  is  well  managed,  he  can  do 
fifteen  handsumV  Will  you  sell  him?  said  he.  Well,  said 
Vpiirson,  I  would  sell  him,  but  not  to  you ;  the  truth  b,  said 
Irsmilin^  I  have  a  regard  for  minii^rs ;  the  best  friend  I  ever 
liid  was  one,  the  reverend  Joshua  Hopewell,  of  Slickville,  and 
I  Wouldn't  sell  a  horse  to  one  I  didn't  think  would  suit  him. 
Oh  (said  he,  the  horse  would  suit  me  exactly;  I  like  him 
aHiazin'lv:  what's  your  price?  Fifty  pounds  to  any  body 
else,  saia  I,  but  fifty-five  to  you,  parson,  for  I  don't  want  yoii 
to  have  him  at  no  price.  If  he  'didn't  suit  you,  people  would 
aay  I  cheated  y<Mi,  and  cheatin'  a  parson  is,  in  my  mind,, 
firetty  much  of  a  piece  with  robl^n'  of  a  church.  Folks 
would  think  considerable  hard  of  me  sellin'  you  a  horse  thjEit 
warn't  quite  the  thing,  and  I  shouldn't  blame  them  one  morsel 
if  tfa^  did.  Why^what's  the  matter  of  him?  said  he. 
MfMJ]^  saya  I,  mibister,  says  I,  alarfin'  right  out,  every  thing  is 
the  matter  of  him.  Oh !  said  he,  that's  all  nonsense ;  Vvtt 
seen  the  horiaein  your  hands  often,  anYl  desire  no  better.  Well, 
says  I>  he  will  run  away  with  you  if  he  gets  a  chance,  to  a 
aiirtaii^ty.  I  will  drive  him  with  a  curb,  said  he^  He  will 
kiokj  sa3n»  I.  I'll  put  a  back  strap  on  him,  said  he.  He  will 
1^  backwardii  faster  than  forward,  said  I.  I  will^  give  him 
the  whip  and  teach  him  better,  says  he.  Well,  says  I,  larfin' 
like  any  thing,  he  wont  go  at^all  sometimes.  I'll  ta^e  my 
chance  of  that,  said  he ;  but  you  must^  talc^  off  that  five, 
pounds^  Well,  says  I,  parson,  1  don't  want  to  sell  you  the 
hbirae'*^hat's  a  fact ;  but  if  you  must  have  Mm  I  suppose  you 
moat,iiiid- 1  will  subtract  the  five  poUnds  on  one  oondition,  and 


m 


TWM.  iQIfAHHfAllBir 


tftftt  i9t  if  y(M  doii*t  Iik«  the  beast,  you  tell  folln  thtt^jmi 
ilfould  have  him,  tho'  I  tried  (o  set  him  out  ias  b^d  as  I  coa)d| 
an^  said  every  thing  of  hiih  I  could  lay  mv  tongue  to.  Wellt 
aa^9;he,  ttie  horse  is  mine,  and  if  he  doirt  suit  nae,  I  acquit 
yCHIof  «|iii  biame. 

,  WelU  he  took  the  horse,  and  cracked  and  boasted  most  pro> 
4if  ipusly  of  him ;  he  said  he  wouldnU  like  to  take  a  hunorad 
Munds  for  him ;  that  he  liked  to  buv  a  horse  of  a  Yankett 
l^r.lhey  were  such  capital  judges  of  horse  flesh  they  hardly 
fifsr  Vmost  had  a  bad  one,  and  that  he  knew  he  was  agoin*  & 

Ept  a  first  chop  one,  the  moment  he  found  I  didn*t  want  to  seUl 
lip,  and  that  he  never  saw  a  man  so  loath  to  part  with  • 
beasts  Oh  dear  I  how  I  larfed  in  my  sleeve.when  I  heerd  UXi 
9Ctho  gone]^  talkin*  such  nonsense :  thinks  I,  heMl  live  to  km 
vot  some  things  that  ain*t  writ  down  in  Latin  afore  he  die^oc 
Fm  mistakeiu^ — ^at's  all.  In  the  course  of  a  few  days  thi 
horse  b(^^  to  find  he'd  changed  hands,  and  he  thought  h9*d 
try  what  sort  o*  stuflThis  new  master  was  made  on ;  so  he  gif^ 
took  the  bit  in  his  mouth  one  fine  mornin*  and  ran  off  virtth 
him,  and  kicked  his  gig  all  to  flinders,  and  niearly  broke  the 
l^rson's  neck;  and  nndin*  that  answer,  he  took  to  all  bis 
Cfld  tricks  ag*in,  and  got  worse  than  ever.  He  couldn't  do 
Dothin'  with  him,— even  the  helps  were  frightened  out  of  thdr 
Uvea  to  ^o  into  the  stable  to  him. 

3o  he  corne  to  me  one  day  lookin'  quite  streaked,  and  sajw. 
he,  Mr.  Slick,  that  horse  I  bought  of  you  is  a  perfect  divil ;  I 
never  saw  such  a  critter  in  my  life;  I  can  neither  ride  him 
nor  drive  him.  He  gist  does  what  he  pleases  wUh  us,  and  ww 
Qan*t  help  ourselves  no  how.  v  He  actilly  beats  aU  the  K»ruly 
ftniinals  I  ever  seed  in  my  life.  Well,  says  f,  I  told  you  si^^ 
minister — I  didnH  want  to  sell  him  to  you  at  aU;  but  vott 
VwAd  have  him.  I  know  you  did,  said  he ;  but  you  laried  so 
i^ll  th^.time  t  thought  you  westn  jeest.  I  thought  yon  didn*t 
care  tQ  sell  him,  and  gist  said  so  to  put  me  off,  jokm'  like  t  l*« 
hfd  no  idee  you  were  in  aimest:  I  wouldn't  give  ten  poundi^ 
fi^r  him.  Nor  I  neither^  said  1 ;  I  wouldn't  taketliim  as  a  gill, 
and  bq  bound  to  keep  him.  How  could  you  then,  said  he| 
have  the  conscience  toax.me  fifty  pounds  for  him^  and  poclM^ 
it  so  coioflly  ?  To  prevent  you  from  buy  in'  him,  parson,  said 
I^  that  was  my  reason.  I  did  all  I  could  for  you ;  I  axed 
you  five  times  as  much  as  he  was  woilh,  and  said  allloould 
t||ii||c  pa  to  run  him  down  too;  but  pw  tooi  ffonrmff  uu 


4 


he'sl 
Well 
fm 
iNd 


I  •• 


▲  CRmV  MR  tMOIMltllfO. 

Hhim^B  two  w«yt  of  teUih*  a  things  Mid  he,  Mr.  81i<ik,— in 
•inifltt  and  in  jeest.    You  told  it  ai  if  you  were  in  jeett,  and 
t  took  it  80 ;  yoomay  call  it  what  you  like,  but  I  call  it  a  do-  - 
<s8eplton  ,ftill.    Panion,  tays  I,  how  many  ways  you  may  have 
>of  teftlin'  a  thing  I  don't  know ;  b&t  i  have  only  one,  and 
4hat*a  the  tiue  way :  I  told  you  the  truth,  but  you  didn't  choose 
'to  believe  it     I)fow,  says  1, 1  feel  kinder  sorry  for  you  too; 
bkit  I'll  tell  you  how  to  get  out  o*  the  scrape.    I  can't  take 
him  back,  or  folks  would  say  it  was  me  and  not  you  that 
^jBheated  yourself.    Do  you  ship  him.    You  can't  sell  him  here 
#ithout  dcrfn'  the  fair  thing,  as  I  did,  tellin*  all  his  fhults ;  and 
If  yon  do  no  soul  would  take  htm  as  a  present,  for  peopli^  will 
lieUeve  you,  tho'  it  seems  they  won't  always  believe  a  Clock- 
maker.    Gist  send  him  off  to  the  West  Indsies,  and  sell  him 
lit  auction  there  for  what  he  will  fetch.    He'll  bring  a  good 
fiHcei  and  if  he  gets  into  a  rael  right  down  genuwtne  horse- 
man's hands,  there's  no  better  horse.    He  said  notl^in',  biit 
riiQok  his  head,  as  if  that  cat  wouldn't  jump. 

Now,  says  I,  there's  another  bit'  of  advice  I'll  give  you  free 
gratis  for  nothin', — never  buy  a  horse  on  the  dealers  judg' 
menty  or  he  voill  cheat  you  if  he  can  ;  never  buy  him  on.  your 
mpn,  nr  you  will  cheat  yourself  as  sure  as  you  are  bom.  .  In 
that  case,  said  he,  larfin',  a  man  will  bo  sure  to  be  cheated 
either  way :  how  is  he  to  guard  ag'in  bein'  taken  in,  then  1 
Well,  says  I,  he  stands  a  fair  chance  any  way  of  bavin'  the 
leake  put  into  him — that's  sartain,  foi;  next  to  woman  kind 
^ra  is  nothin'  so^leceitful  as  horse-flosh  that  ever  I  seed  yet. 
Both  on  'em  are  apt  to  be  spoiled  in  the  breakin' ;  both  on  'em 
-puzzle  the  best  judges  sometimes  to  tell  their  age  when  well 
fwmped  up,  and  it  takes  some  time  afore  ydu  find  out  all  thetir. 
tricks.  Pedigree  must  be  attended  to  in  both  cases,  particu- 
iftfly  on  the  mother's  side,  and  both  require  good  tramin',  a 
steady  hand,  and  careful  usoge.  Yes ;  both  branches  require 
fgteai  experience,  and  the  most  knowin'  ones  do  get  bit  some- 
times m<mt  beautifully.  Well,  says  he,  as  touchin'  horses. 
How  is  a  man  to  avoid  being  deceived  1  Well,  says  I,  111  tell 
yno— -never  buy  a  horse  of  a4otal  stranger  on  no  account,-— 

miver  buy  a  horse  of  a  gentleman,  for- Why,  said  he» 

W»  the  very  man  I  should  like  to  buy  of,  above  all  others* 

-Well,  then,'says  I,  he's  not  the  man  for  my  money  anyhow; 

yoti  think  you  are  safe  with  him,  and  don't  inquire  enoughr 

■lid  tal»  too  much  for  granted :  you  are  upt  to  cheat  yourself 


l-l 


lil 


WIII^''ajommjaaau 


.  fal  tint  6tM.  N«vM  buy  a  crack  hone ;  he*B  done  to6  mki. 
Ntvflr  buy  a  colti  he*t  done  too  little;  you  can^  toll  hour 
btMt  turn  out.  lo  •hort^  aayli  I,  it's  a  considerable  of  a  teng 
•lory  to  go  all  through  with  it ;  it  would  take  me  leae  time  to 
iMcn  you  hew  to  make  a  ck)ok,  I  calculate.  If  you  buy  A'om 
•  men  fi(ho  «in*t  a  dealer,  he  actilly  don't  know  whethafr  Ua 
hont  it  a  good  one  or  not ;  you  must  get  advice  from  a  frieaid 
who  doM  know.  If  yotf  buy  flrom  a  dealer,,  he's  too  nnich  fi^ 
you  or  your  (Mend  eitheh  if  he  has  no  honour,  don't  trade 
with  him.  If  he  has,  put  yourself  wholly  and  entirely  on  H, 
md  he'll  not  decdve  you,  there's  no  mistake — he'll  do  the. 
thins  genteel.  If  you'd  a'  axed  me  candidly  now  about  that 
are  none,  tayt  I. — ^At  that  he  looked  up  at  me  quite  hard  fttr 
'ft  ipaoe,  without  sayin*  a  word,  but  pressed  his  lips  together 
fluite  mifliy  like,  as  if  he  was  a  strivm'  for  to  keep  old  Adam 
flown,  and  turned  short  off  and  walked  away.  I  felt  ki«d«r 
pity  ior  him  too ;  but  if  a  man  will  cheat  himself  in  spite  of 
all  you  can  do,  why  there  is  no  help  for  it  as  I  see,  but  t»kft 
him.    Do  you,  squire? 


J 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 
TAXmO  CffiT  THE  FACTORY  LADUSa" 

Tmti  are  fim  countries  in  the  world,  squhre,  said  tiMi 
Clookmiikir,  got  such  fine  water  powers  aa  these  provincea ; 
hut  tho  felkt  don't  make  no  use  of  'em,  tho'  the  materials  for 
ihetories  are  spread  about  in  abundance  every  where.  Perhaps 
tho  whole  world  might  be  stumped  to  produce  such  a  ftctory 
^nd  at  Niagara  Falls;  what  a  nation  sight  of  machinery  that 
would  carry,  wouldn't  it? — supply  all  Birmingham  a'mOet.  • 

The  flrtt  time  I  returned  from  there,  minister  said,  Sao^^ 
•aid  he,  hftre  you  seen  the  falls  of  Niagara?  Yes,  sir,  aidd 
i.  I  |uett  I  have.  Well,  said  he,  ain't  it  a'most  a  grand  dgM 
tntti  I  guess  it  is  a  tcitei  says  I^  and  it  woiiltt  be  a  grand 
•poo  to  got  up  a  joint  stock  company  for  IMoiy  purposes,  fiir 
•uc^  another  place  for  miri«  ain't  to  be  found  atween  the  poles. 
CMl  defti^t  taid  I,  only  think  of  the  cardin'  mills,  fuUin'  mUle, 
cotton  mills,  giain  mills,  saw  mills,  plaster  mill8,.and  graeious 
Imow*  whit  tort  o'  miUs  might  be  put  up  theseraod  tmmMk 


TAKiiro  eir  ras  rMmmx  ladiu. 


148 


ibr 


ftr  iraUw;  any  Ml  you,  like*  and  any  ppwer  you  want,  and 
yal  them  ^neys  the  British  let  all  run  away  to  watte.  lt*s  a 
jtMadful  pity,  ain't  it  7  Oh  Sam!  said  he,--and  he  jumped  as 
if  be  was  bit  by  a  sarpent  right  up  an  eend, — now  don*t  talk 
•0  profane,  my  sakest-^dont  talk  so  sacrilegious.  How  that 
dreadful  thirst  o*  gain  has  absorbed  all  other  feelins*  in  ouf 
teople,  when  such  an  idea  could  be  entertained  for  a  moment 
Ws  a  grand  spectacle, — it's  the  voice  of  natur'  in  the  wilder- 
fteas,  proclaimin'  to  the  untutored  tribes  thereof  the  power  and 
majesty  and  glory  of  God.  It  is  consecrated  by  the  visible 
impress  of  the  great  invisible  architect.  It  is  sacred  ground— 
m  temple  not  made  by  hands.  It  cannot  be  view^  without 
^r  and  tremblin*,  nor  contemplated  without  wonder  and  awe. 
it  proclaims  to  m&n,  as  .to  Moses  of  old,  "Draw  not  nigh 
hither,  put  off  thy  shoes  from  off  thy  feet,  for  the  place  where 
thou«  standest  is  holy  ground."  He  who  appeared  in  a  flame 
'9(  fire  in  the  bush,  and  the  bush  was  not  consumed,  appears 
tiso  iA  the  rush  of  water,  and  the  water  diminishes  not.  Talk 
not  to  me  of  mills,  factories,  and  machinery,  sir,  nor  of  intro- 
ducin'  the  money-changers  into  the  temple  of  the  Lord.  Talk 
not. — ^You  needn't  go,  said  I,  minister,  for  to  work  yourself 
up  that  way  ag'in  me,  I  do  assure  you,  for  I  didn't  mean  to 
say  anything  out  p'  the  way  at  all,  so  come  now.  And  now 
you  do  mention  it,  says)  I,  it  does  seem  kinder  grand4ik&— 
^lat  are  great  big  lake  does  seem  like  an  everlastin'  large  milk 
'pan  with  a  lip  for  pourin'  at  the  falls,  and  when  it  does  fall 
wmd  over  heels,  all  white  froth  and  spray  like  Phoebe's  sylla* 
bub,  it  does  look  grand,  no  doubt,  and  it's  nateral  for  a  minister 
■fb  think  on  it  as  you  do;  but  still  for  aU  that,  for  diem  that 
liin't  preachers,  I  defy  most  any  m^n  to  see  it  without  thinkii^ 
0f  a  fx>tton  mill.  ^ 

Well,  well,  said  he,  awavin'  of  hu  hand ;  say  no  more  about 
it,  and  he  walked  into  his  study  and  shut  to .  the  doon  Hi 
^J|nitii*t  like  other  men,  minister.  He  was  full  of  crotchets  that 
■hny,  and  the  sight  of  the  sea,' a  great  storm,  a  stanr  sky,  or 
ifien  a  mere  flower,  would  make  him  fly  right  off  at  the  handle 
tdMkt'Wtay  when  you  warn't  *a  thinkin'  on  it  at  all ;  and  yet  for 
#il  that  he  was  the^most  cheerful  critter  I  ever  seed,  and  notbin' 
4^aaoiil  pleased  him  so  much  as  to  see  young  folks  enjoyin* 
^^rtMnnselves  as  merry  as  crickets.  He  used -to  say  that  yqath, 
'iinoeence,  and  cheerfulness  was  what  was  meant  by  the  three 
It  wa»  «  curious  kink,  too,  he  took  about  them  ftll% 


-.  >, 


u 


m. 


<Mnrot  it  7  ibr,  wtqr  all,  atwMB  you  and  mtf)  it*«  aotbia*  W 
*«wver  laktn  ovar  a  oliff  ftUl  split,  instaad  of  runnin*  down 
m  the  old  m }— I  narar  haar  tall  of -^am  I  doa*t  thb^i^ 
lliat  tantriun  of  him.  '      t 

Oar  (ketones  in  New  England  ara  one  of  the  hast  flruitf  oC 
the  last  war,  squire,  said  ha|  they  ara  actilly  worth  (aainV 
l*kBow  I  have  ireaaon  to  speak  wall  of  'em.  any  how,  |bf  iC 
waa  them  gave  me  my  first  start  in  life,  and  a  pleasant  stast 
k  was  too,  as  well  as  a  profitable  one.  •  I  apant  upwards  of  « 
year  there  among- the  galls,  atakin*  of  them  ofi*  in  the  portrait 
Una,  and  in  that  time  f  cleared  three  hundred  pounda  of  your 
money  good :  it  warn't  so  bad  that,  was  it  Y  r 

When  I  was  down  to  Rhode  Island  larnin'  bronsin*,  gildiwV 
and  skatchin*  for  the  clock  business,  I  worked  at  odd  Umea  ftt 
the  Honourable  Eli  Wad,  a  foundationalist— a  painting  for 
liim.<  A  foundationalist,  said  I ;  what  is  that  1*— 4a  it  a  reUgkma 
aeet?  No,  said  he,  it^s  a  bottom  maker*  He  oiil v  Qiada 
bottoms,  he  didnH  make  arms  and  less,  and  he  aold  th«a 
wooden  bottoms  U>  the  chair>maker8.  He  did  *em  by  a  sareu^ 
kr  saw  and  a  tumin'  lathe,  and  he  turned  *em  or  amaai^* 
quick ;  he  made  a  (brtin'  out  of  the  invention,  for  ha  shipped 
'em  to  every  part  of  the  Unbn.  The  select  men  (Ejected  to 
iua  sign  of  bottom  maker ;  the^  said  it  didn't  sound  prettgi, 
and  1m  altered  it  to  finmdationalist.  That  was  one  cause  4o 
apeck  turned  out  ao  well,  for  every  one  that  seed  it  a'msil 
Mopt  to  inquire  what  it  meant,  and  it  brought  hb  patent  uM;» 
Wftmt  vogue;  many'*  the  larf  folks  had  over  that  ^gtt 
1  tell  you.  .'  ^f 

m^&Oi  said  he,  when  J  had  .done,  Slick,  said  ha,  yoii'va^^Ji  Oom* 
lAdteable  of  a  knack  with  the  bruah,  h  would  be  a  -gralid 
speck  for  you  to  go  to  Lowell  and  take  off  the  foctorir  Miakf 
1NW  know  what  the  women  are,-*rmoat  all  on  *em  will  HMMt  to 
liive  their. likeness  taken* .  The  whole  ait  of  portmit  paintipi, 
aays  he;  as  far  as  my  observatioa  floes,  liea  in  a  ftMt  sketoji 
of  the  leadin'  featur.'  Give  it  goad  measure  i  6o  you*  tak^, 
Ko,  aays  I,  I  don't  onderstand  one  word  of  it.  Wellt  say#rl«» 
wh^  I  mean  is  this;  see  what  the  leadin'  feature  kHiii^ 
exaggerate  that,  and  you  have  a  striking  likentsa*  >!#  tibwi 
BOsa»  large,  gist  make  it  a  little  more  so i  if  there ia aaligttt 
jsaat  o'/the  eye,givo  if  A  squint;  a  strong  line  itt  tha  iaeiit 
daspen  it{.Va  big  moutib,  anlavga  itf  i  sat  timle,  :nMlii.4t 
piniikj  ahigbtifaeak^boaak  aqmn  it«iil  wall*    Reci|i9M# 


— — '^-^-r- ''r'i-'iiiii'ffi; 


TAKIiro  Off  TB»  fAOlMT  LAOIM. 


Hljs  liy  ptiotia*  tb«  rett  o*  the  face  a  little  handfloaMt)  Md  ymi 
^ve  it  oomple*  you'll  never  fail— there's  no  miateke.  Dm4 
eslorio*,  witu  iota  of  v^riiiah,  will  do  for  \hat  market,  and  mm 
dollirs  a  piece  lor  the  pictur'a  ia  about  the  fair  deal  for  th« 
fHrioe.  t  If  you  don't  succeed,  I  will  give  you  mv  head  for 
a  foot-ball.  You'll  hear  'em  all  say,  Oh  I  that's  her  nose  to 
»  hair,-r-that's  her  eye  exMstly;  you  could  tell  that  mouth 
^ywbere,  that  smile  you  could  swear  to  as  far  as  you  can 
ipe  kr-*it's  a'most  a  beautiful  likeness.  She's  taken  off  com* 
fjete  it's  as  nateral  as  life.  You  could  do  one  at  a  sittin'»  ot 
MK  a  w«ek,  as  easy  as  kiss  my  hand,  and  I'm  athinkin'  yoii*4 
Qod  it  answer  a  good  eend,  and  put  you  in  funds  for  a  staft  ua 
tlpa  clock  line.  ' 

But,  Sam,  says  he,  aputtin'  of  bis  hand  on  my  shouldorl. 
and  ilopkin'  me,  strong  in  the  face,  mind  your  eye,  my  boyf 
mind  you  don't  get  tongled  in  the  deep  sea  grass,  so  you  cas'l 
fimr  band  or  foot.  Tl»re  are  some  plaguy  pr^y  galls  there, 
iad  some  on  'em  have  saved  a  considerable  round  sum  too} 
4onH  let  'em  walk  into  you  now  afore  you  know  where  yon 
\m^-  Young  ^ntlemen  are  scarce  in  New  Elagland,  sweeir 
iMtta^  ain't  to  be  had  for  love^nor  money,  and  a  good4ookiii! 
lUlow  like  you,  with  five  hundred  pair  of  pretty  little  goodt 
^^filufod  longin'  eyes  on  him,  is  in  a  foir  way  o'  gettin'  hit 
ftjljt  filled,  I  tell  vou.  Marriage  won't  do  for  youf  n^  hearty* 
^^y:ou've  seed  ttie  world  and  made  soroethin*  handsum'.  To 
QWMFry  for  money  is  mean,  to  marry  without  it  b  folly,  andtlo 
IMMTi^  both  young  and  poor  is  downright  madness  (  so  handa 
«C  sAys  you ;  love  to  all,  but  none  in  partikilar.  If  you  6nd 
younelf  a^ettin'  spooney,  throw  Itfush,  pallet,  and  paint  over 
t^.falls,  and  off  full  split;  ishange  of  air  awi  scene  to  «mimi 
lave*  consomption,  or  th9  blues,  must  be  taken  airly  in  the 
4ifleasa,  or  its  np  good.  An  ounce  o'  prevention  is  worth 
(||.,poiuid  o'  cure.  Recollect,  too,  when  y<Mi  ere  married,  yo^ 
OXO  tied  by  the  leg,  Sam^^;  like  one  of  our  sodger  disartei*^ 
|r09  haT9  a  chain  lulanglipi'  to  your  foot,  with  a  plaguy  heavy 
|i|pt  to.th9  eend  of  ^»  i^  keeps  you  to  <nie  {Jace  moat  all 
^  lim^  for  you  can't  carry  ft  with  you,  and  you  can't  leav0 
4l»lluid  yjP%  <^  yf^  can'trdo  ix>thia'  with  it.  n 

vlf  yf^thinds  yda,  cantirupt  yourself,  go;  if  not,  stay  wherii 
>i^  «l*^    It'sA  gfand  school,  tho',  Sam;  you'U  knpw  som^ 
llHi|!,of  hiuaajpt  nfitur'  whef>  you  leave  Lowell,  I  e^tinMae,  foe 
l^*i  |mo  yp^,  liM9w<t0(CU(  your  ^«-t^th  th#m  ioU» »  yon'tt 
.18 


'A 


M 


JfXmA^  9tm  OLOeRHAXKR. 


Mt  how  wonderAil  the  wayt  of  wi^nMin-kind^ia,  for  they  do 
'leaf  all— 4h«t*t  Mrtain.  Welli  down  t'Weot^lo  Lowell,  and 
•rter  a  day  or  two  spent  a  vititin'  the  flictoriea,  and  getttil* 
iHtrodaoed  to  the  ladiea,  I  took  a  room  and  aot  up  my  eaael, 
and  I  had  as  much  work  as  ever  I  oould  cleverly  tufn  my 
iMincl  to.  Most  every  gall  in  the  place  had  her  Hkeness  taken  | 
•ome  wanted  *em  to  send  to  home,  some  to  ^ve  to  a  sfreel^ 
heart  to  admire,  and  some  to  hang  up  to  admire  themselves. 
The  best  of  the  poke  was,  every  gall  had  an  excuse  ibr  bein' 
there.  The^  all  seemed  as  if  tlwy  thought  it  warn*t  quite 
genteel,  a  little  too  much  in  the  help  style.  One  said  she 
•imo  for  the  bmiefit  of  the  lectures  at  the  Lyceum,  another  to 
earry  a  little  sister  to  dancin*  school,  and  a  third  to  assist  th(ft 
Amd  for  foreign  missions,  and  so  on,  but  none  on  'em  to  work. 
Some  on  'em  lived  in  large  buildings  belongin'  to  the  fkctor^t 
•nd  others  hi  little  cottages— three  or  four  in  a  house.  '° 

^1  recollect  two  or  three  days  arter  I  arrived,  I  went  to  call 
on  Miss  Naylor,  I  knew  down  to  Squantum,  and  she  axed  nie 
to  come  and  drink  tea  with  her  and  the  h/o  ladies  that  lived 
with  her.  So  iii  the  evenin'  I  put  on  my  bettermost  clothM 
and  went  down  to  tea.  This,  says  she,  introduein*  Of  me  t6 
Hm  ladied,  is  Mr.  Slick,  a  nattve  artist  Qf  ffreat  promise,  and 
one  that  is  self-taught  too,  that  is  come  to  ttOce  us  off;  alid  this 
is  Miss  Jemima  Potts  of  Milldam,  in  Umbagog ;  and  this  'hi 
Miss  Binah  Dooly,  a  lady  fVom  Indgian  Soalp, '^rmonti  Ywrt 
iirvant,  ladies,  says  I ;  I  hope  I  see  you  well.  Beautiful  fiti6- 
tnry  tbte,  it  whips  English  all  holler;  our  free  and  enlightehed 
eitixens  have  exhibited  so  much  skill,  and  our  intelligent  anid 
.  enterprlsin'  ladies,  says  I,  (with  a  smile  and  a  bow  to  each,) 
■0  much  science  and  taste,  that  I  reckon  we  might  stump  thei 
tukivarsal  world  to  ditto  Lowell.  It  sartainly  is  one  of  the 
wonders  of  the  world,  says  Miss  Jemima  Potts ;  it  is  astonlih- 
highow  jealous  the  English  are,  it  makes  'em  so  rylied  they 
oan^  bear  to  praise  it  at  all.  There  was  one  on  'em  agoin*  thir6* 
the  large  cotton  fhctory  to>day  with  Judge  Beler,  and,^  sayi 
Mm  Judge  to  him,  now  don't  this  astonish  you1  said  he ;  diStliH 
k  exceed  any  idea  you  could  have  foriOed  of  itt.  ^on  mult 
allow  there  is  nothin'  like  it  in  Europe,  and  yet  Ais  is  onfy  in 
k's  infiincy — it's  only  ffist  begun.  Come  now,^  confess  the 
Auet,  don't  you  foel  that  the  sun  of  England  is  set  for  ever  t^*^ 
her  glbry  departed  to  set'  up  its  standard  in  tlra  new  worMT 
Bppk  eMididly  now,  forithoiikl  like  to  hear  #hat  yoo  think. 


WiilHnliil  I  I    iiijili  I  Ti'liii 


1 1 


TAKiwo  arr  vmi  faotcrt  ladui. 


141 


II  oertainly  U  a  pwpaolablo  effi>rt  for,  a  youus  oountry  witb  • 
Alio  population,  Mid  be,  and  a  Hmtted  oapitaT,  and  ia  oradHa** 
Wa  to  the  skill  and  enterprise  of  New  Bns^and  |  but  aa  fiur 
rivalrv,  it's  wholly  out  of  the  queslioa,  and  he  loalpsd  aa  mad 
Its  if  be  could  aawallered  a  wildH»t  alive.  Well,  well,  said 
Ihe  Judge,  larfin*,  for  be  is  a  sweet-tempered,  dear  man,  and 
the  politest  one  too  I  ever  knew,  I  don't  altogether  ,know  as  it 
is  ^st  fair  to  ask  you  to  admit  a  fact  so  humblin'  to  your 
liational  pridot  and  wp  mortify  in*  to  vour  feelina*  as  an  En- 
f  lishmon ;  but  I  can  easily  conceive  how  thunderstruck  yoa 
must  have  been  on  enterin'  tliis  town  at  its  prodigious  powai^ 
its  great  capacity,  its  wonderful  promise.  It's  generally  allow- 
•d  to  be  the  first  thing  of  the  kind  in  the  world.  But  what  afa 
ypu  alookin'  at,  Mr.  Slick  ?  said  she ;  is  there  anything  oa 
n^  cheek?  I  was  onlv  athinkin',  says  I,  how  diffiouTt  ft 
would  be  to  paint  such  a'most  a  beautiful  complexion,  to  inftiaa 
into  it  the  softness  and  richness  of  natur's  colorin' ;  I'm  most 
afeerd  it  would  be  beyond  my  art-^that's  a  fact. 

Oh,  you  artists  do  flatter  so,  said  she ;  tho'  flattery  is  a  pait 
of  your  profession  I  do  believe ;  but  I'm  e'en  a'most  susa 
there  is  sometbin'  or  another  on  my  face, — and  she  got  up 
and  looked  into  the  glass  to  satisfy  herself.  It  would  ir  doia 
you  good,  squire,  to  see  how  it  did  satisfy  her  too.  How  many 
of  the  ladirs  have-  you  taken  off?  said  Miss  Dooly.  I  have 
only  painted  three  said  I,  pt ;  but  I  have  thirty  bespoke. 
How  would  you  like  to  be  painted,  said  I,  miss  ?  On  a  white 
horse,  said  she,  accompanyin'  of  my  father,  the  general,  to 
the  review.  And  vou,  said  I,  Miss  Naylor  ?  Astudyin'  Judge 
Naylor,  my  uncle  s  specimens,  said  she,  in  the  library*  Says 
Miss  Jemima,  I  should  like  to  be  taken  oflf  in  my  brother's 
barge.  What  is  lie?  said  I,  for  he  would  have  to  have  Ua 
uniform  on.  He  ?  said  she  ;-!-why,  he  is  a — and  she  looked 
•way  and  coloured  up  like  anything—- he's  an  officer,  sir^  said 
abe,  ia  one  of  our  national  ships.  Yes,  miss,  said  I,  I  know  that ; 
but  officers  are  dressed  accordin'  to  their  grade,  you  know,  in 
(?ur  sarvioe.  We  must  give  him  the  right  dreas.  What  ia 
Us  grade  ?  The  other  two  kdies  turned  round  and  giggled, 
^Mul  miss  Jemima  hung  dor;n  her  head  and  looked  foolish. 
Says  Miss  Naylor,. why  don't  yoa-tell  him,  dear?  No,  says 
ahe,  I  won't ;  do  you  tell  him.  No,  indeed,  said  Mbs  Naylor ; 
he  is  not  ray  brother :  you  ought  to  know  best  what  he  is ;— - 
do  you  ^U  him  youra^.   Ohy  ymi  know  very  well,  Mr.  SUok, 


UB 


^m***- 


MMMttr 


A 


mU  whBt  only  you  nrnlw  tm  if  yon  didn't,  to  poke  flm  tt  oi* 
•  and  make  am  My  it.  I  ko|w  i  may  be  shot  if  I  do,  eeyi  t, 
miM  (  I  oever  heerd  tell  of  him  afoie,  and  If  he  is  an  oflloer 
im  our  navy,  there  ia  one  thing  I  can  tell  you,  aays  I,  ycMi 
iMMdoH  be  ashamed  to  call  one  of  our  naval  'heroes  your 
hsether,  nor  to  tell  his  grade  neither,  -for  there  ain't  an  offioe 
in  the  service  thet  ain't  one  of  honour  and  giory.  The  BritMk 
•no  whip  all  the  world,  and  we  can  whip  the  British.  , 
• :  Well,  aays  she,  alookin'  down  sod  takin'  up  her  handkef^ 
«bief,  and  turnin'  it  eend  for  eend  to  read  the  marks  in  thi 
oorner  of  it,  to  see  if  it  was  hern  or  not,— if  I  must,  then  I 
suppose  I  muet ;  he's  a  rooster  swain  then,  but  it's  a  shame 
to  make  me.  A  roestor  swain  I  says  I ;  well,  I  vow  I  never 
heard  that  grade  afore  in  all  m)r  born  days ;  1  hope  I  miy  db 
tf-I  did.  What  sort  of  a  swain  is  a  rooster  swain  7  ^How 
you  do  act,  Mr.  Slick,  said  she ;  ain't  you  ashamed  of  your^ 
•elf  1  Do,  for  gracious  sake,  behave,  and ,  not  carry  on  sd 
like  Old  Scratch.  You  are  goin'  too  far  now ;  ain't  he.  Miss 
Nay  lor  7  Upon  my  word  !  don't  know  what-you  mean,  said 
Mmw  Naylor,  af!eotin'  to  look  as  innocent  as  a  fbmale  Ibx  ( 
I'm  not  used  to  sea^tarms,  and  I  don't  onderstand  it  no  mof6 
tiian  he  does ;  and  Miss  Dooly  got  up  a  book,  tod  began  Uf 
lead  and  rdck  herself  backward  and  forward  in  a  chair,  atf 
fuplar  as  a  Mississippi  sai^yer,  and  as  demure  as  you  please; 
Well,  thinks  I,  what  onder  the  sun  can  she  mean  7'  for  I  caiift 
■Mke  head  or  tail  of  it.  A  rooster  swain !— a  rooster  swain  I 
says  I ;  do  tell  Well,  snys  she,  you  make  me  foel  quite 

spunky,  and  if  you  don't  stop  this  minnit,  I'll  go  right  out  of 
the  room ;  it  ain't  &ir  to  make  game  of  me  so,  and  I  donH 
thank  you  for  it  one  mite  or  nunrsd.    Says  I,  miss,  I  beg  your 

Kvdon;  I'll  take  my  davy  1  didn't  mean  no  offbtice  at  all; 
t,  upon  my  word  and  honour,  I  never  heerd  the  word  rdostef 
swain  afore,  and  I  don't  mean  to  larf  at  your  brother  or  tease 
you  neither.  Well,  says  she,  I  suppose  you  never  will  ha* 
done,  so  turn  away  your  face  and  I  will  tell  you.  And  she 
got  up  and  tamed  my  head  round  with  her  hands  to  the  wall, 
and  the  other  too  ladiea  aterted  out,  and  said  theyM  go  afi(f 
■i»  arter,  the  tea. 

„>  Well,  says  I,  are  you  ready  now,  miss 7  Yes,  said  she;— ' 
a  vooster  swain,  if  you  must  know,  ymi  wicked  critter  you,  {if 
a  eoekswain ;  a  word  you  know'd  well  enough  ilrarn'i  fit  for 
ivjMy  to  speak:  ao  take  that  to  remember  it  by,— aadshi' 


bf 
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flii' 


TAUirO  OPT  Ta»  yiSTOMr  LAOIM.  M 

ildMd  ma  •  dew*  of  •  clip  oo  IIm  skW  of  the  fcoe,  aid  f«i 
oQtor  tha  ruon.  W«ll,  I  awoar  I  could  hardlv  keap  (Vam- 
Iftrfin'  right  out,  to  fiod  out  artar  all  it  was  nothm'  but  a  cox- 
airain  aha  ouide  auch  a  touia  about  i  but  I  felt  kinder  aorry, 
too»  to  have  botbarad  her  ao,  for  I  recollect  there  waa  the  aama 
4ifficuUy  among  our  ladiea  laat  war  about  the  name  of  tha 
BngUah  officer  that  look  Waahington  |  they  called  him  alwaya 
the  **  Britiah  Admiral,"  and  there  warn't  a  lady  in  the  Unkm 
woukd  oall  him  bv  name.  I'm  a  great  friond  to  decency ,—• 
vary  great  friend  indeed,  aouire,— for  decency  ia  a  manly 
vartue }  and  to  delicacy,  for  delicacy  ia  a  feminine  vartua;  bwl 
aa  lor  aqueamiahneaa,  rat  me  if  it  don't  make  me  aick. 
.  There  waa  two  little  rooma  behind  the  keepin'  room ;  one 
waa  a  pantry,  and  t'other  a  kitchen.  It  was  into  the  fardaal 
QM  the  laoiea  went  to  get  tea  ready,  and  preaently  they 
brought  in  the  thinga  and  aot  them  down  on  the  table,  and  wa 
all  got  sociable  once  more.  Gist  as  we  began  conversation 
ag*ki,  Miss  Jemima  Potts  said  she  must  go  and  bring  in  the 
cream  jug.  Well,  up  I  jumps,  and  follers  her  out,  and  aaya 
I,  pray  let  me,  miss,  wait  upon  you ;  it  ain't  fair  for  the  ladiea 
to  do  this  when  the  gentlemen  are  by,— is  iti  Why  didn't 
yiau  catl  on  me  1  I  overtook  her  gist  at  the  kitchen  door.  But 
tUa  door-way,  said  I,  is  so  plaguy  narrer, — ain't  it  1  Theresa 
hardly  room  for  two  to  pass  without  their  lips  atouchin*,  ia 
tkwre?  Ain't  you  ashamed?  said  she;.!  believe  you  have 
hroke  m^  comb  in  two, — that's  a  fact; — but  don't  do  that 
a^'in,  aaid  aha»  awhisperin',— that's  a  dear  man  ;  Miss  Dooly 
will  hear  you,  and  tell  every  lady  in  the  factory,  for  sfaeHi 
plaguy  jealous  ;-~ao  let  me  pass  now.  One  more  to  make 
friends,  said  I,  misa.  Huah !  said  she, — there — let  me  go } 
and  she  put  the  jug  in  my  hand,  and  then  whipped  up  a  p»te 
haraelf,  and  back  in  the  parlour  in  no  time. 

.  A  curtain,  aays  I,  ladies,  (as  I  aot  down  ag'in,)  or  a  book- 
ahrif,  I  could  introduce  into  the  pictur',  but  it  would  make  it  a 
wc^rk  o'  great  time  and  expense,  to  do  it  the  way  yoii  speak 
of}  and  besides,  said  I,  who  would  look  at  the  rest  if  the  fkce ' 
wna  well  done  •?  for  one  thing,  I  will  say,  three  prettier  facea 
never  wom  seen  painted  on  canvass.  Oh,  Mr.  Slick,  says  they, 
how  yc'i  bam  1— ain't  you  ashamed?  Fact,  says  I,  ladies, 
upon  my  honour: — a  ftict,  and  no  mistake.  If  you  would 
aUow  Boa,  ladiea,  said  I,  to  suggest,  I  think  hair  done  up  high, 
]Mtm  UMmaMAuH  oonib,witii  flowers  <Mt  the  toi^  would  beooma 
13*  » 


: 


JM^  Him  Kiiylor,  uoAmt  4ff  your  iae  Oieeiaii  feoe  gf«ta#it 
^4^  iilriuoDable  mornin'  cap*  lined  with  pink,  and  trimmed  wilQl' 
l^MC!  bows,  would  ael  off  your  portrait^  Miai  Doatyi  awl^^ 
Ifgxmae  your  splendid  Roman  prc^le  cmnplete.  And  what  ibt^ 
nel  said  Jemima.  If  I  might  be  so  bold»  skid  l\  I  would  a^iaiM 
laavin*  out  the  oomb  in  your  case,  miss,  said  I,  as  ^nou  avetatt^ 
^Dd  it  ought  perhaps  bs  in  the  way,  and  be  br^e  m  twO)(ftad 
impressed  her  foot  ondw  the  table  with  mine;)  and  I  would 
^row>  the  hair  into  long  loose  nateral  curls,  and  let  the  neek 
and  shouldere  be  considerable  bare,  to  give  room  for  a  peart 
fliadLlace,  or  coral  beads,  or  any  little  splendid  ornament  OT 
that  kind. — Miss  Jelmima  looked  quite  delighted  at  this  idea» 
ajid,  jumpin*  up,  exclaimed.  Dear  me,  said  stw,  I  forgot  die 
lEfUgar-tongs  I  I'll  gist  go  and  fetch  'em.  Allow  me,  sayal^ 
miss,  fbllerin'  her;  but  ain't  it  funny,  tho',  says  I,  too,  that  wa' 
aheidd  gist  get  scroudged  ag'in  in  this  very  identicdUittkB 
qarrer  door-way ,~-4iin-t  it  ?  How  you  act,;said  she;  nowthi» 
iatoo  bad ;  that  curl  is  all  squashed,  I  declare;  I  won'fconaa 
out  i^'in  to>night,  I  vow.  Nor  I  neither  then,  said  I  larfini 
let(.  them  that  wants  things  go  for  'em.  Then  you  couldaH 
iptroduce  the  specimens,  could  you  1  said  Miss  Naylor.  The 
judge,  my  uncle,  has  a  beautiful  cdlection.— When  he  was  a 
business  as  a  master-mason,  he  built  the  great  independ^ 
democratic  Sovereignty  Hall  at  Sam  Patchville,  {a  noMa 
huildin'  ^hat,  Mr.  Slickt-^it's  ginerally  alk>wed  to  be  the  firat 
pie^  of  architecture  in  the  world.)  '  He  always  broke  off  a 
piece  of  every  kind  of  stone  used  in  the  building,  andit  makea 
a^^moat  a  complete  collection.  If  I  could  he  taken  off  at  • 
table  astudyin'  and  asortin'  'em  into  primary  fcNrmatvcMis;- 
s^^oondary  formations,  and  trie^,  I  should  like  it  amazin'ly. 
\:.  Well,  says  I,  I'll  do  the  best  I  can  to  please  you,  miss,  Ibv 
I  never  hear  of  secondary  formations  without  plea8ure,~^tlu^%' 
a.faot.  The  ladies,  you  know,  are  the  aecoadary  formation, 
f^r  they  were  formed  arter  man,  and  as  Ibr  trap,  saya  I^  if  "^ 
tktey  ain't  up  to  thatt  it's  a  pity.  Why,  as  I'm  olive,  said  !« 
if  that  ain't  the  nine  o'ctock  bell :  weU,  hdw  time  has  flowedi 
hasn't  it?  I  suppose  I  murt,be  amovin*,  as  it 'is  gettin'  oCh 
considerable  late,  but  I  must  say  I've  had  a  most  deKghtfM  i 
evening/  aa  ever  I  spent  in  my  life.  When  a  body,  says  I,  (inds 
himseU*  vpi  ^  circle  of  literary  and  scientific  ladies,  he  takea  niii' 
nc^e  of  time,  it  passes  so  smooth  and  quick.  Now,  saya  1^ ' 
bi4[imj.jjiii^Mpa  i9»  fcg  mMitioilia' «  Mttl^  bit  of  bMwaaaa i  but  M 


irilh  Mw  l«4ie9l4i«M9a«  wkh  (hiM  fUlftf  My*  I»«B^aM  cmi- 
Ji^ioi)^  Wctive  a  Jmm  jM  ttiriMMt*  Ob» Jlr.  filkk,  mf  tlMf , 
l^w  Qfui  yAuiT  No  kiM,.  no  piptur*,  Miy»^l.  b  that  ■»  iiiv«« 
j|^^  rule?  nys  they.  I  never  ilevlatad  fimn  it  ia  my  liftt 
|Ni4 1»  ei^iecially  Where  the  Udies  eve  m  beeutiAil  m  my  kind 
J|i«f|d(i  hero  tooiight  ane.  Tbanji  you,  my  tweet  ^liiie  Meylot, 
md  t  01),  did  you  ever — 7  Mid  ehe*  And  yen  abor  denr 
IfiM  Dooly.  Oh,  my  sakes,  said  the,  how  ondeeent  I  I  wirii 
I  could  take  my  pay  altogether  in  that  coin,  said  I.    Well, 

J9u*U  get  no  suph  airnest  from  me,  I  can  tell  you,  leld  Mim 
emima,  and  off  she  sot  and  darted  out  o*  the  room  like  a  kit- 
ten, and  I  arter  her.  Oh,  that  dear  little  narrer  door^way 
aaems  made  on  purpose,  said  I,  don*t  it!  Well,  I  hope  yon 
are  satisfied  now,  said  she,  you  forward,  impudent  critter} 
,p^!ve  talien  away  my  breath  almost.  Gooa  night,  ladies, 
ll|id  4*  Qood  night,  Mr.  Slick,  says  they )  don^t  forget  lo  oaH 
jM^  take  us  off  to-morrow  at  intermission.  And,  saya  Miaa 
Imnima,  walkin*  out  as  far  a»  the  gate  with  me,  when  net  ha^ 
hT  engaged,  we  shall  jbe  Jhai^y  to  see  vou  sociahly  to  tea. 
Ifo^t  happy,  miss,  said  I ;  only  I  fear  I  sludl  call  oftenar  thMi 
will  be  agrei^le ;  but,  dear  me  I  saya  I,  I've  forgot  somallMi* 
Jt  declare,  and  I  turned  right  about.  Perhaps  you  forget  it  ia 
the  little  narier  door-way,  said  she,  alarnn'  and  asteppin* 
^Bck wards,  and  hoUtiDVup  bcHh  hands  to  fend  off.  Wbatk 
^7  said  she,  and  she  looked  up  as  saucy  and  as  rompy  as  yoa 
please.  Why,  said  I,  that  dreadful,  horrid  name  you  called 
Ifour  brcther.  What  wae  it  7  for  I've  forgot' it,  I  vow.  Look 
il|>^  and  find  out,  said  she;  it's  what  you  ain't,  and  nev*er 
was,  and  never  will  be,  aifd  that's  a  gentleman.  You  are  a 
pasty,  dirty,  ondeeent  manr-*-that's  flat,  and  if  you  don't  lUw 
^you  niav  lump  it,  90  there  now  for  you*-«tood  mgl^  BvA 
ptotHrehaKe  hands  afiwe  you  go,  said  she  { let's  part  firiMdsi 
|nd  «he  held  out  her  hand.  Gistas  I  was  aooin'  to  take  it,  it 
c^ipt  up  Uko  flash  by  my  fiice,  and  tipt  my  mt  off  e¥«r  ny 
fhimikler,  and  a*  I  tumcwi  and  stooped  to  pick  it  upi  aha  up 
f'ith  W  liitle  foot  and  let  me  have  it,  and  pitched  me  right 
c>^r  im  my  kntea.  It  was  dene  as  quick  as  wink.  Even  and 
auH-nowv  said  she,  as  good  friends  as  ever.  Dene,  said  L 
^t  hush t said  she;  that  oritter  has  the  eara  of  a  raiote,  an4 
le  eyes  of  a  lyn«.   What  ^tter  7  aaid  |.   Why,  that  fnghlA 


t 


^^^^^ 


'»ii<««oodk  night  l«-«iid  the  iwled  Imm^  mk4ennmm  ifiMi^* 
^  «^uKppeo9d.  ¥fl0,  aqiai«^  tike  lieiibd«iA>l«M  W^^^ 
rfaWKl«tiowili»t;  WW  Tight  when  he  «i^d  I'd  »ne  mxUmtf  ^ 
iluaraan  lAtvr?  •tooBglheihistorv'galls.  *S^M%jm^'^om6Bi 
iifmd  are  wonderfiil  Indeed,  lliis  wee  %  NSiMt  Iteoiiimit 
tififgeiwdbiWMMMi  uidelitmefart^eHjbuHd  w>dMf  imrililNl, 
4£tf  tfiJMMMr^) «« in  other  tkingt,  e*treme$  meeii 


'  CHAPTER  XIX.. 

THE  SCHOOLMASTER  abroad! 

,  «r  nlkB  loed  fiom  Chetrter  to  Halifax  is  one  of  the  worst  in  ^lu. 
^pfovinee;  and  daylight  faiUng-  us  befi>re'we  nMde  half  ^^-r 
^ooroeyt  we  were  compelted  to  spend  the  hight  at  a  sixMdl^iis^ 
«eenaed  house,  the  occasional  resort  of  fishennm  and  ceaitiiMn» 
SThere  was  but  one  room  in  the  shanty,  besides  the  kitcbeft 
mni  bed*rooni;  and  that  one,  though  fwrfectly  cleattj  snielt 
intolarably  of  snraked  salmon  that  garnished  its  rafters^  A 
lottshet,  a  light  fowling>piece,  and  a  heavy  American  rifted 
were  alung  on  the  beams  that  supported  the  kofir  of  the  gan^ 
«iMlanow>shoes,  fishing-rods,  and  small  dip-nets  iridi  loni^  a|^ 
ihaiidk^,  were  secured  to  the  wall  by  iron  hooks.  Alt(^6Ahi0^ 
it  half  a  vpottmg  appearanoe^  that  iiKdicated  the-  owner  Id  %i 
one^  of  those  amphibious  animals  to  wh'c^m  land  or  water  it 
equally  natural,  and  who  prefei^  the  pleasures  oPtb»  chase  and 
tim  fishery  to  the  severer  labour  But  more  profhid^le  empfoy* 
nMnt  of  iilhng  the  soil.  A  few  fancy  articles  of  oostly  ikttitd^ 
sials  Md  supertcNT  workmaniMp  that  omame»ted  the  maiiieli 
piece  and  open  eloset,  (probably  preselite  from  the  gentlemefi 
of  the  garrison  at  Halifax^yi^towed  tlMtt  there  were  sbiiJietifnei 
fistters  ofa  difibrent  description  from  the  ordinary  cUstiynieri* 
4kM  the  house  was  a  solitary  cme,  and  s^iated'at  (he  head  0^ 
deep,  well*sheltered  inlet,  it  is  probable  that  sni^gUi^  mi^ 
have  added  to  the  pfofks,  and  diversified  the  pursuits'  dT^ 
cMimwp./  He  did  not^  however,  make  his  appearance.  He  ha^ 
»,  his  wife  said,  in  his  boat  that  allernoon  to  M&sgttNiii^ 
fi  a  distance  of  eight  miles^  to  proouite  some  sah  to  core  hii 
i^widwoalifrobttbiyjietJBMili^^^^  ^ 


MMBOAB,  JiH 

m^em  btMi^MB  btlbM^7<Mi  «Be,  t^oiwi  Miid'lfr.  81tdln  iMtel. 
hi|f  to  a  wooden  dock  in  the  comer  of  the  room  {foiki  Mmc 
•hevftnothin?  tA  do  like  to  aee  how  the  time  geek^^^uid  k  man 
who  takee  a  glaae  of  srag^  twelve  o*ek)bk  ie  the  moet  pWMV 
,4li«l^ller>ia  the  world.  The  draft  is  tAwmya  hoqoiifed' when 
(II  ^la  due.  But  who  have  we  here!  Ai  he  Mid  Ihiai  a  man 
^•Mloiwl  the  worn,  earrying  a  tmall  bundle  in  liis  handf  tkltt 
up  in  a  dirtj  silk  pocket-handkerchief.  He  was  draMed  ill 
an  old  suit  of  rusty  black,  nra^h  the  worse  for  wear.  His  fiu» 
hoie  tile  marks  <n  idSmperana^  and  he  appeaired  much  ft- 
tigijed  with  his  journey,  which  he  had  peribrmed  alone  and  on 
/foot.  .  I  hope  I  don*t  intrude,  gentlemen,  said  he;  Uit  you  see 
Dulhaotyvpoor  fellow,  has  but  one  room,  and  poverty  makea 
jUSv  acquainted  with  strange  bed-fbllows  sometiihes.  Btmndy, 
my  little  girl,  and  some  &Ad  water ;  take  it  out  of  the  wnih 
4ttfb  of  tivB  well,  my  dear^-^nd^— do  you  hear,— be  quick, 
^  Vm  choked  with  the  dust.  Crentlemen,  will  you  take  eome 
JNnmdy  and  water?  said  he.  Dolhanty  always  keeps  some 
:f0od  brandy  ,-^HtMme  o'  your  wretched  Yankee  peach  bvand^ 
that's  enough  to  pyson  a  horse,  but  real  Gogsiak.  W^,  I 
jdon!t  care  U*  I  do,  said  Mr.  Slick.  Artor  you,  sir.  By  Vouf 
leave^?tiM  water,  dr.  'Oentlemen,  all  your  heaths,  siod'  the 
jrtranger.  Good  toandy  that,  sir ;  you  hnd  better  take  miodiet 
l^ass  h^re  Uw  water  gets  wann,~*«nd  he  hipped  hhnself 
%|jci  most  liberally*  Then,  taking  a  surveyor  the  Cnook>' 
fmtker  and  myielf,  observed  to  Mr.  Slick  that  he  thought  lH 
Imd  seal  him  before.  Well,  it's  not  onlikdy  ^--^here  t 
! .  Ah,  that's  the  question,  nr ;  I  cannot  Maf^ly  soy  ^faersb'  ^ 
i   Kor  I  neither.  ,  ^        '        « 

,  <  Whioh  way  may  you  be  travelUn'  1    Down  east  I  expect. 
.    Which  way  are  you  fibm  thai  I   Some  where  down  BooHlb 

The  traveller  again  applied  hims^  to  brandy  and  walw. '"^ 
;    Ahem!  then  you  are  from  Lunenburg. 

Well,  I  wtm't  say  I  wam't  at  Lunenburg. 
V  Ahnm!    pretty  place  tlmt  Lunenburg;    bat  they  speak 
Dutch*    D--<-n  the  Dutch ;  I  hate  Dntch :  thorn's  no  humuage 
like^Bglish. 
!  Thai  I  suppose  you  are  gmng  to  Haliflix  t 

W<U,  I  won't  say  I  won't  go  to  Halifax  afoie  I  retuni| 
■either.  ^' 

!   A  mcexlown  that  Halifax — ^good  fkdHnarket  there;  but 
they  are^  Mt  like  the  English  fish  a'ter  att.    Halibut  is  a  poet 


mi^t«^%fr  tlto^iood  4>M  Engliidi  taiiiofe  M^mm"  di#|Fii 
wmy  fva  w^n  horn,  titt     —      ir-,  -"■ -mn 

,f'l  <|o&!t  gbt  ftltoffether  mbd  tlM«  I  Mdi  1  #tti^Aai|«i)r 
|il«e»  to^rtaiil«r>  but  from  dowrn  tooth  Ittfe  '  ^  ^«' 

f^  AliMtt.1  ycNlr  hwrfth,  mi  iierlii|is  voaw^iXlumfmlt^  101 
»  ttivnMri  and  litve  no  home;  «iid|  irfter  sB,  tlMf»>ii^^ 
llMBM  lute  Boi^Mid*    Pfiy  what  ptrl'  of  ibgiaiift  in  yoM 


I  «iitiinftle  Pm  not  ft>oni  Bnghmd  iM  «R^  <^ 

.y'Vtr  worry  for  you,  then;  but  where  the  deviV are  you  fton^? 
<aIii«  general  way  fejka  gay  Pm  from  the  States.  < 

V  Knock  them  down  then,  d>«^n  them.  If  any  man  wiialb 
isiiilt  me  by  calling  me  a  Yankee*  I'd  kick  him ;  but  ^ 
Ifankees  have  no  seal  of  honour  to  kiekw  If  i  bftda't  been 
Ihinkin*  more  of  my  brandy  and  water  tton  your  answers^  I 
nught  hai«  known  you  wore  a  Yankee  by  your  misAriMe 
^nwsions.  They  never  give  a  straight  answer-^tlwre's  iR>lhl^ 
i|bra^;bt  about  them,  but  their  long  backup-- and  he  was  iMleM) 
in  hia  chair,  overcome  by  the  united  eflfects  of  the  heat,  «Bb 
twiuidy,  and  ^gue.  *f 

^^Thatyone  o*  theur  schoolmasters^  said  Mr.  Slick ;  and  ^ 
ao  wcmder  the  Blue-noses  are  such  'cute  chaps  when  they  g«lt 
•ueh  masters  as  that  are  to  teach  the  yotmg  idea  how  to  shoot. 
The  tsxittot  has  aitied  more  questicms  in  ten  minutes  4lian  if  IH 
jwaaa  flilKblooded  Yankee,  tho'  he  does  hate  them  so  |Wiiv#r> 
IMHy*^  HeV  an  Englishman,  and^  I  guess,  has  seen  better  ^ 
davs ;  birt  he's  ruiinited  by  drink  liow.  When  he  is  aboift 
hailifciiled  he  is  aneverhkstin*  quarrelsom' fritter,  and  carries 
a  mosl  ^aguy  oncivil  tongue  in  his  head :  that's  the  reason  I 
^dn't  let  onwhere  I  conle  from,  for  he  hates  us  Kke  l^fiofl. 
But  ^bere  ain't  many  such  entters  here;  the  £k^bh  d^^ 
emigfate  here  much,— 4hey  go  to  G^ada  or  ^le  States :  ind 
it's  Strang,  too,  for,  mjuire,  this  is  the  best  lodiitbn  ihr  dl 
America,  is  Nova  Bootia,  if  the  British  didbut  kno#  if. 

It  will  have  the^greatest  trade,  the  neater  pop ulatioB,  the 
nsot  oMmufiMmir's,  and  the  most  WeaMi  <^  aify  sti^  this  M 
of  the  water.  The  resources,  nateral  advantage,  aiHl  i  pdili^ 
eal  pbsition  of  this  phu^  beat  all.  'Fake  it  aMog^hdr,  I  ddn'i 
|Biow.gl9t  such  «  cotmtry  in  the  univarsal  world  almost. 
IVhatl  Nota  Scotia?  said  I;  this  poor  little  'colony,  (fafii 
lit^m^Thuleof  Aniertca,--whal  is  eVer  to  make^a^pttce 
•f vfii^  oonseqiienci  f    Bvery^ut^,  s^iii^  sl^^l»i  evwry^ 


ij 


U66I1 


ilMnt^Uwl  ooMHtotw iVMtaof*.  I  irwfa  wv.lMril  ily-4k«t*s  aH { 
>mA  we  will  have  it  too,  eoine.  o*  these  <teye,  if  they  denU  kwk 
mhifjp*  bk  the  iiffit  filftee  it  hat  more  nor  Iwiee  at  muiy  great 
nieiwo'-war  harboMi  in  it,  capable  of  hoMin*  the  nrheie  oaty 
rim  iy  ateckr  lock,  and  barrel,  than  we>  li^ve  from  M^ine  tb 
l|laarii.'inr  besidee  inaumerable  rnnall  harboun,  ialend  lern,  and 
iBlhee  ihelters,  and  itV  giet  all  but  an  island  Ueelf  ^  and  meit 
ail  the  best  o*  thdr  harbours  don't  freeze  up  at  no  time*  It 
^  ai*nt  shut  up  like  Canada  and  our  back  country  all  winter, 
^hHlyottoaain  and  out  as  you  please;  and  its  so  mterseeted 
with  rivers  end  lakes,  most  no  part  of  it  is  twenty  miles  ftom 
^MMfigable  water  to  the  sea,—- and  then  it  is  the  nearest  poiilt 
o(  our  continent  to  Europe.  All  that,  sud  I,  is  very  tfiie; 
,b^t^good  harbours,  though  necessary  for  trade,  are  not  the 
^ly,thin(B;s  requisite  in  commerce.  But  it*s  in  the  midst  d 
Jfaafishenes,  squire,— -all  sorts  of  fisheries,' too.  River  fis}** 
i|eriesof  shad)  salmon,  gajperaux,  and  herring— shore  fishery 
iCHiMickerel  and  cod — oank  fishery  and  I^brador  fisherjk 
Oil  dear  i  it  beats  all,  and  they  don't  do  QOthin*  with  'em,  bot 
leave  *em  to  us.  They  don't  seem  to  think  'em  worth  havkf 
#r  keeping  for  government  don't  protect  'em.  See  what  -a 
«ehoel  for  seamen  that  is,  to  man  the  ships  to  fill  the  harboure. 
«  Then  kx>k  at  the^beeowels  of  the  airthi  only  think  of  the 
-*Ooal ;  and  it^s  no  use  atalkin',  that's  the  mily  coal  to  su|^^ 
lis  that  we  can  rely  on.  JiVhy,  there  ain't  nothing  like  it.  k 
extends  all  the  way  from  bay  of  Fundy  right  out  to  Pictou, 
Ihcii;'  the  province^  and  then  under  all  the  Jsland  of  Cape  Bre- 
Im ;.  and  s(Hne  o'  them  seams  are  the  bi^^est,  and  thickeel^ 
iiod  deepest  ever  yet  discovered  since  the  world  begam 
Beautiful  coal  it  is  .too.  Then  natnr'  has  given  'em  meet 
gduid  abundant  iron-ore,  here  and  there  and  every  where,  aad 
:«iix>d4Uid  coal  to  work  it.  Only  tlunk  o'  them  two  things  in 
woh  abundance^  and  a  country  possessed  of  ftrst  chop- water 
powers  everywhore,  and  then  tell  me  Providence  hasn't  laid 
^foundation  of  amiMiufactorin'  natira  here.  But  that  ain't 
alL  Gist  see  the  plaster  of  Paris,  what  almighty  big  heaps 
nC  lit  there  is  here.  We  use  already  more  nor  a  hundrad  and 
fifty  thousand  tons  of  it  a-year  for  manure,  and  we  shall' wanl 
teit timea  that  quantity  yet, — we  can't  do  without  it:  it  hai 
done  more  for  us  than  steam ;  it  has  made  our  barren  lands 
fio^t  and  whole  tract*  halntaUe,  that  oevor  would  have  beeij 
psff^a  oeot  an  aere  without  it.    It  will  go  to  South  Ameriei 


i^> 


SlmMm  ImiM  7«t^U  if  llw  HMgW  vtttd^it** 
Mf*^,iti»li0|  1  liOM  I  nmy  Iw  shot  if  it  siii^  t  it  tiira»«ll 
9I1II  Mio  goi4    Il6«.>whtl  •  fight  4^f  ««iMif  it  tal|i«.*» 
PM$  bulkjr  urtido  like  thot-^wlMt » nglit.  of  wumM 
h  mhtkt  %  Mt  9f  foUtt  it  feeds,  whtt  a  Utoh  of  tfikii 
I  mmhwrdy  mn  for  the  woodemvalls  ofX)Uk  Bug^Uki^ 
t  BtagMd  ift  «■  bUod  «•  abatTeiid  Blue>iMMe  ii#  pimnr 

Sine  Hya  old ;  he  can't  we  yet.  If  ihe^oritter  waa  im 
I  had  hie  eani  cropped  and  tongue  wormed,  he  might 
It »  d«cent-}ookin'  w^p  yet,  for  the  old  one  is  ai  good 
*iliiia  tod  Ma  well.  WeU,  then«  look  at  the  iead»  cofiper, 
iikilf » (apdM  for  state,  they  may  stump  Wales,  I  kn<»P»  tn  pn^ 
;ai)M  tlH^  tike,)  gjranite,  grindstone,  freestone,  lime,  «an|fiilteMi, 
•ftH^aMlpb^rf  ,Why,  tbeyVe  got  everything  but  enMJpiise^ 
nod  (h»t  I  (I«  heliave  in  my  soul  they  expect  to  find  jianiWo^ 
Had  dig  UB  out  of  the  ground  as  they  do  ooaL  But  the  soi^ 
•qulfil,  where  will  you  find  the  like  o*  Oiat?  A  coasidefahle 
iwrt  of  it  «tong>the  coast  u  poor,  no  doubt ;  but  it's  the  fishkr 
i4Jd«  of  the  prpyince,  and  therefore  it's  all  right ;  but  the  bey 
|Me  W  ateerin',  jrippin'  fine  country.    Them  dyke 


IMive  faised  bay  end  gtain  ye^r  arter  year  now  for  a  whole 
MOtory  without  manure,  end  fguess^will  continue  td  do  ao 
fiwm  /uly  to  etamityr  Then  natur'  has  given  them  that  iea- 
fpldfaail  innd,  see  weed,  and  river  slu^  for  dreasp'  ihoir 
iptaiK^  utaLtha^  it  could  be  made  ta  carry  wheat  till  aUV  bhii 

tmia'  ^  .     -:>.,■■'.;.> 

If  It  possesses  ail  these  advantages  you  spetk  of,  saidli It 
lirill  doubtless  be  feme  day  or  another,  both  a  populous  end 
jdeh  country!  hm  still  it  does  not  appear  to  me  that  it  eanhe 
amnpared  to  the  country  of  the  Mississippi.  Why,  si|airei 
Mid  he,  ifyou  was  once  to  New  QrTeens*  lihink  you  wouldv^t 
my  90*  That  ie  a  gr^t  ^uirtry,  no  doubt,  too  great  to  ^nem' 
1^  to  •  small  pmvinoe  like  this;  great  resourcssB,  §M«t 
itv^fi  Artlle  Ifad,  great  trade;  but  the  climate  is  awfhlraod 
^#inigraiit  people  ain't  much  better  than  the  elhnate*  >Tlii 
tSmM»9m  Orleens  put  me  in  naind  of  cfaiidfen  pli^^  mm 
«|ttf|Bhyard,  jumpin'  over  the  graves,  hidin'  behind  die  tomiMi 
t  Itf^*  at  the,emhh»ms  of  mortality*  wd  the  quoer  oli 
fl^nMit  tmder  'em,  all  fuU  of  IHe,  and  j^»  and  fun  above 
gi;^li4»  while  onderi^th  it  is  a  great  chaniei-holise,  fiiU  of 
tMog  ah«ota»  skeietona,  and  genecatifnaof  departed  eitiaeBal 
Tmm  plaoo is  built  !a  a  bar jn^OiiMrhoi^  iaadao£ 


•  «» 

13 

light 
goad 


telM, 


Mhinr 


VIMIO 


bfaM 
aiii 


•ad 

iiift 
vDli 


U  oil 


Mfliflf^o^'feiMi^hDkil,  Hetfped  up  Irjr  the  river,  and  then  flitied 
ind  ooveted  irHh  the  sediiMnt  mud  alhivial  of  the  rich  bottoiini 
tfiM^  hiiMight  do'ivn  h|f  theii«»h«t6.  It's  pedpted  inthenme 
%By.  The  eddies  and  tides  of  business  of  all  that  country 
f^~  )  thera^  and  tks^  iVotK '««»d  rivm  are  washed  up  and  aettle 
in*,  -y  Orleenff.  ItV  A.  I  ^ith  all  sorts  of  people,  black» 
nMfeH  and  Indgians,  and  ^ir  difl^nt  shades,  Preneh,  8pi- 
Bish^  Portuguese,  and  Dutch;  Bnglish,  Irish,  and  Scotch,  and 
litm  ^tople  ftom  every  state  in  the  Union.  These  last  hare 
aN  nioknunes.  There's  the  hoosiers  of  Indiana,  the  suekera 
Hi  illinoj,  the  pukes  of  Missuri,  the  buckeyes  of  Ohio,  tfai' 
led  horses  of  Kentucky,  the  mudheads  of  Tennessee,' thiBr 
Wolverines  of  Michigan,  the  eels  of  New  England,  and  the 
flMB  oracken  of  Virginia.  All  these,  with  many  others, 
i^a^  Up  the  population,  which  is  mottled  with  black  and  all 
its  shades  f.*mo6t  all  too  is  supplied  by  emigration.  It  is  ft' 
gvsat  eatavaasary  filled  with  strangers,  dissolute  enough  ttl>' 
QUdwyour  hair  stand  an  eend,  drinkin*  all  day,  gan^blin*  all 
ft^^t,  mnd  fightin*  all  the  time.  Death  pervade  all  natnT* 
mvBf  it  breathes  in  the  air,  and  it  floats  on  the  watei',  and' 
mas  in  the  vapours  and  exhalations,  and  rides  on  the  whirlwind 
Md  tempest:  it  dwells  on  the  drought,  and  also  in  the  intin^ 
datioa.  Above,  below,  within,  around,  everywhere  is  death; 
hot  who  knows,  or  misses,  or  mourns  the  litranger  T  Di(^'  a' 
grave  ibr  him,  and  you  plunge  him  into  the  water,— -thai 
worms  eat  the  coffin,  and  the  crocodiles  have  the  body.  Wtf 
have  mills  to  Rhode  Island  with  sarcular  saws,  and  apparatus 
ibr  mafein*  packin*  boxes.  At  one  of  these  factories  thoV" 
oaed  to  make  'em  in  the  shape  of  coffins,  and  thc^n  they  sarv^ 
c  double  purpose;  they  carried  out  inions  to  New  Orleeni, 
aad  then  carried  out  thef  dead  to  their  graves. 

That  are  city  was  made  by  the  freshets.  It*s  a  chance  If^ 
it  wnH  carried  away  by  them.  It  may  yet  be  its  fate  to  bc( 
•wept  dean  off  by  'em  to  mingle  once  more  with  the  streani^ 
tlMt  deposited  it,  and  form  new  land  further  down  the  rivet." 
It  may  chance  to  be  a  spot  to  be  pointed  out  fix>m  the  steam- 
heals  as  the  {^aoe  where  a  great  city  once  stdod;  and  a  gi'^t'' 
hnttle  wasf  cmce  fought,  in  whioh  the  genius  and  valour  of  the 
■aw  world  triumphed  over  the  best  troops  and  best  ginerals  of 
'  Burope.  That  place  is  jist  like  a  hot-bed,  and  the  folks  likr 
tiM  plants  in  iu    People  do  gtow  rich  fast;  but  they  loolf 

apimSiB*  and  w«ak,  and  they  are  e'en  ft'moat  choked 

14 


|ni» lo  niy  1hM< location,  aquiw^    thrt^  •  ktH,  fu  k»  •*! 
ftflM4>.ao9i;    •■  ■  -..« 

WImi**  »  graad  looMioal  mM  Ihi  Mboot^mttlAf,  wliiM 
iiy.  Nov*  SooOa,  iMd  Nr.  SUeh.  1  wm  iiM  «t^ittn^  «f  tiM 
mmet  it*s  a  gnrnd  looatioa,  ^-hh  the  lOMtioiiy  moAhmi 
iJMttallM  woM  I  it  ain't  English  |  th«rt  ire  no  words  Ukt  tho 
Sofl^bb  woids.'^Hoie,.  my  little  girl,  move  bfandy,  my  dmi^ 
Mtome  fresh  water^  mind  it's  Ikeshr-^take  It  out  of  the  hottdii 
of  lbs  well'^-do  you  bear  7<^the  coldest  spot  in  the  well ;  ind 
be^^oiok,  for  I'm  burnt  up  with  the  beet  tq-dtv.  Wbo%  ibe 
^«iH  of  grogl  supfMNM  we  have  a  pull,  fsntfemsn  a  nood 
pml^aada  strong  pull,  and  a  pull  altogether,  ehl  Here's  ta 
yon,  gentlemen i-^-^h,  that's  good!  you  aie  sura  offgcnd 
braodf  here.  I  say,  Mister  Location,  won't  you  moisteb  the 
^yv  9b1«-«ome,  my  honest  feUowl  I'll  take  another  glesa 
wi^  TOtt  to  our  better  a<squaintanee h- you  won't,  ehl  wo% 
ttien*  I'U  supply  your  deficiency  myself}  befe'e  Inek  1  Whera 
did  yon  say  you  were  from,  sir  ?  1  don't  mind  that  I  indicmsd 
wliefe  I  was  from  gist  in  petikilar.  No,  you  didn't }  bnl 
I  twig  you  now,  my  boy,  Sam  Stfck,  the  Clockmakerl  And 
eo  you  say  this  is  a  nice  location,  do  you  1  Yes,  it  is  a  nase 
Iseatkm  indeed  ibr  a  gentleman  thisy—a  Ipcatkm  6»  pside  and 
MMwrty,  fiir  ignorance  and  assumption,  for  folly  and  viee* 
Cufse  the  location  I  I  say ;  there's  i|o  location  like  okl  BnC' 
land.  Thi^  is  a  poor  man's  country,  nr  {  but  net  a  rich  man'a 
or  a  gentbman't.  Thers's  nothing  this  side  of  the  water,  siiv 
approaching  to  the  class  of  gentry.  They  have  neither  the 
nelings,  the  sentiments,  nor  im  braeding.  They  know  notUnc 
about  it.  What  little  they  have  here,  sir,  are  second  hand 
aUe  ocqpied  fibm  poor  modele  that  necessity  fefces  out  bore. 
It  is  the  fiirce  of  high  life  below  stairs,  sir,  played  in  a  poor 
theatre  to  a  provinoial«u«Henoe*  Poor  as  I  am,  bnmble  er  I  aa^ 
Mid  degmded  aa  I  anH-^ibr  I  am  now  all  tbree,-^i  here  eesK 
better  cutys,  and  was  not  alwMrs  the  boMsetoss.ywaniisrer  yon 
n^^  see  me;  I  know  what  I  am  telking  lAeut.  TlkbtmM 
apfthipg  beyond  respectable  medioorily  bora  r  than  never  earn 
be,  them  is  no  material  for  it,  there  is  notbbif  to  snppwt  ki 
Siineiresb  water*  inirdenri  thntbornd'waleB  istoQii|^/>l« 
anMd  ens^s  tbnau  The  worst  of  a  colony  is,  #ii»  them  is  an 
iili  |w  tpbitiont  no  ioon  for  tnliili^  JMtiiiwnrd  fof  ' 


I 

I 

4 
1 
I 

1 
I 


\mm 


Vim 

Mihm 

Dttflrii 
i  voA 
*9  Sat 
flood 
b\  to 
(good 
ibtho 


VhoMi 


I  but 


•  aiiO 
lottid 


BMP' 

»r»miV 

MrUw 

olbiiig 

hind 

boro. 

ii.  pools 

h 


IOrt/-;lllR 

mm 


THl 


II  ii«  riob  uuyjUiipforo  poor  amm,  mA 
•rfoor  oquitiy  ibf  o  ricU  obo.  Thoio  lo  no  pormoooot  uppot 
mm  of  oooie^  Jmio  or  »ny  wlnut  oloo  m  Amerioo*  Tnori 
«i«  rich  moo,  learned  men,  agioeoble  men,  !iboml  moo,  Mfid 
good  meo,  but  very  few  gentleoMO*  Tho  boeoi  oin*!  piiio{  it 
m  Mt  kept  long  enough  dielinct  td  ra6no,  to  obtain  the  dio* 
tinctKvo  mafkt»  to  become  genene.  Dry  work  thie  talkip*| 
ff^your  health,  gentlemen  I — a  good  fellow  that  Dulbantyy** 
ioppoae  we  drink  hie  health  7  he  always  koepa  good  brandy^-— 
|hefo7e  not  a  bead*aehe  in  a  gallon  of  it. 
1^  What  waa  I  talking  aboutl— Oh  I  I  have  it-*^he  looatkM^ 
M  those  drawling  Yankees  call  it.  Yes,  instead,  ot  irapoftiag 
MriP«  here  from  England  to  improve  the  breed,  they  fltionli 
import  gsntlemra;  they  want  the  truo  breed,  tbi^  want  Uoodk 
Xo%  said  the  CkMhrnaker*  (whom  I  had  never  known  1x1 
nemain  silent  so  long  before,)  I  guess.  Yes,  d>  n  you  J 
•aidthe  stnu^r,  what  do  you  know  about  itl— ^you  know  at 
mueh  about  a  gentleman  as  a  cat  does  of  music  If  you  Intaf^ 
fu|^  me  agam.  Til  knock  year  two  eyes  into  one^  you  olooki 
MMkiogt  pum)ikin*headed,  peddling,  cheating  Yankee  vaarii 
bond.  The  sickly  waxwork  imitation  of  gentility  hers,  am 
iMted  artificial  flowor  of  feshion,  the  vulaar  pretenaiim,  th4 
oontemptible  struggle  for  precedence,  mabe  one  look  acrooo 
Iho  Atlantic  with  a  longing  after  the  freshness  of  nature,  fet 
life  and  its  realities.  AH  N<Mrt|i  Amoriea  is  a  poor  coui^^ 
with  a  poor  climate.  I  would  not  give  Ireland  for  the  whow 
of  it.  Thu  Nova  Scotia  is  the,  b^  part  of  it,  and  has  tho 
greatest  resources)  but  still  there  is  no  field  in  a  colony  fw  • 
wan  of  talent  and  education.^  Little  ponds  never  hold  bigfi$h» 
there  is  nothing  but  poUywogS,  tadpoles,  and  minims  in  them. 
Look  at  them  as  they  swim  thro*  the  shallow  water  of  tho' 
mai^ns  of  their  little  muddy  pod,  following  sOme  small  UA* 
low  an  inch  long,  the  leader  of  the  shoal,  that  thinka  himself 
«.  wbalo,  and  if  you  do  not  despise  their  pretensions,  yott 
will,  «t  least,  bo  compelled  to  laUgh  at  their  absurditiea.  Go 
to  every  legislatufo  this  side  <tf  the  water  from  Congress  1(^ 
^fialifhx,  aM  hear  tho  stuff  that  is  talked^  Qo  to  every  ptesi 
wkhaee  the  sittff  that  is  printed  r  go  to  the  people,  and  see  tho 
ibff  that  ir  uttered  or  swallowed,  and  then  tell  me  this  is  a 
^location  for  any  thing  above  medioerky^  What  kevpa  yoa 
Iwfe,  then  I  said  Mr.  Slick,  if  it  is  suoh  an  everlastin'  miserai* 
bfe«ouotry  asTion  by  it  out  to  be.-    inilell  you  mt,  said  h% 


/ , 


l|n|l  Im  draiiMil  off  Iht  whol«  of  the  bmady,  m  if  to  fMpMM 
1^  tli8  •fibrt  I  will  tell  you  wbiat  ke«p«  nw,  «Dd  Iw  pkw^ 
iMvJhiftndaoo  bit  karaik  and  lookiog  Uie  CloakvaakBr  m^fMf 
ill  t)|B  fiice  umil  every  mueole  woribsd  with  emotioa— 1*11  ten 
yoiXf,m,^i(  yea  muet  know«'-ai7  mUfortuae.  TbfrelR»rt«ail 
lifib  IrliMdy  overpoweved  bim ;  m  fell  from  bit  chair*  ■ad'Wi 
Mmred  him  to  a  bed,  looaeoed  bia  6raTat,  and  leA  Um  to  Ml 

r^NNM»« 

It!a  a  eonsiderabto  of  a  trial,  saMl  ^  Clockimtker,  to  ait 
Btill  and  liateo  to  that  cusaed  old  critter,  I  tell  you.  If  you 
bftda't  beea  here  Fd  agiv*n  him  a  rael  ^ood  quiltln-*  ^  l*d 
•taoBed  his  jacket  for  him ;  Pd  alarned  him  to  carry  a  civil 
tooaae  in  his  head,  the  nasty,  drunken,  onmannfrly  goed*lbii 
aotbin*  beast  i  more  nor  once,  I  felt  my  finaers  Uoh  to  eve 
Mm  a  aookdolager  under  the  ear;  but  he  Bin°t  worth  h>in«&*i 
I  guess.  Yes,  squire,  I  won't  deny  but  Ndw  OtUenm  ia  * 
(peat  ^ace,  a  wonderfbl  place ;  but  there  are  reaourcea  hew 
hfyond  all  conception,  and  its  dimatie  is  -as  pleasant  aa  any 
we  have,  and  a  plaguy  sight  more  healthy.  I  don't  know 
what  more  you'd  ask,  almost  an  island  indented  everywheri 
with  harbours,  surrounded  with  fisheries.  The  key  of  tbf^  8(k 
l^awrence,  the  Bay  of  Fundy,  and  the  West  lodgies  ;<->prinie 
land  above,  one  vast  mineral  bed  beneath,  and  a  clinuUe  oiver 
all  temperate,  pleasant  and  healthy.  If  that  ain't  enough  IBT 
one  place,  it's  a  pity— -that's  all. 


"^■^"'^ffil'  ^■■''S''^'^*^''' 


CHAPTER  XX, 

THE  WRONG  ROOM. 

.  Thjb  next  morning,  the  tain  poured  down  in  torrenta,  and 
k  was  ten  o'dock  befere  we  were  able  to  resume  our  journey. 
I  am  glad,  said  Mr.  Slick,  that  cussed  critter  that  sefaoolmastw 
ham't  yet  woke  up.  I'm  most  afeerd  if  he  bftd  turned  out 
M$vn  we  started,  I  should  have  quilted  him,  fw^  that  talk  oft 
hi*  last  nigh',  sticks  in  my  crc^  considerable  iMtrd.  It  ain^ 
<iver  ^y  to  digest,  I  tell  you ;  for  nothin'  a'moat  raisM  my 
damder  so  much  as  to  hear  a  benighted,  i|porant,  andensUrvad 
ftuBQ^BCr,  belittle.our  free  and  enlighten^  citiaens.  But,  aet 
^erb,  aqyaxe,  said  he,  that's  the  fintf  Int^paa  eampnie^  weNt 


■  ■1 


t«|l 


>  tit 
yov 
;  IM 
ciiM 


m 


**. 


it  ft 

heM 

any 

iMMm 

rhert 

H>8t* 

>rifM 
over 


and 
mey. 


Id  out 
koT 

my 


tMI  #iiJMf cr  ndcni*  IvI 

'M  In  with  OB  our  JouriMy.  Happy  Mien,  tb^m  fndgi«iit| 
liba*l  tiMy  7— 4liey  have  no  wanta  and  no  6af«a  bttt  food  aod 
dMrhin*,  iuid  Aihin*  and  hundn*  wppTy  th^  things  atay. 
That  tall  one  you  aee  tpearin*  flkh  down  fai  thtt  an  eredk 
fhife,  b  Peler  Pfeul,  a  moat  aplngoy  cute  chap.  I  mind  tht 
kit  Hme  I  was  to  Lunenbui^  I  seed  him  to  th^  magistMit^ 
lohn  Robar*s :  he  laid  down  the  law  to  the  justice  better  than 
are  a  lawyer  I  have  met  with  in  the  province  yet  ,*  he  talked 
as  clever  a'most  as  Mr.  C[f.y.  1*11  tell  you  what  it  was :— • 
Pieler  Paul  had  made  his  wigwam  one  winter  near  a  brook  on 
the  farm  of  James  M*Nutt,  rtnd  employed  his  time  in  ucopeir- 
iiiff,-and  used  M*Nutt's  timber  when  'he  wanted  any.  Welt, 
itrNutt  threatened  to  send  himto  jail  if  he  <!Kdn*t  move  awiy,' 
cmd  Paul  came  to  Robar,  to  ax  him  whether  it  could  be  done. 
Says  he,  souire, — M*Nutt  he  came  to  me,  and  says  he,  Peter, 
what  adevil'  you  do  here«  d— >n  you  1  T  say,  I  mdce  Hfth 
backet,  make  em  tub,  may  be  basket,  or  ax  handle,  to  buy 
me  some  blanket  and  powder  and  shot  with— you  no  waikt 
some  f  ~  Wen,  he  say,  this  my  land,  Peter,  and  my  wood ;  I 
bought  Vm  and  pay  money  fbr  *em, ;  I  won*t  let  you  stay  mro 
and  cut  mv  wood ;  if  you  cut  anoder  stick,  I  sedd  you  to  jaii. 
Then  I  ten  him  I  see  what  governor  say  to  that :  what  you 
plant,  that  yours ;  what  vou  sow,  that  yours  too ;  but  you  oo 
plant  *em  woods ;  Ood — he  plant  *em  dat ;  he  make  'em  rivcnr, 
too,  for  all  mens,  white  man  and  Indgian  man — all  same. 
Ood — he  no  give  ^ma  river  to  one  man, — he  make  him  run 
thro*  all  the  wcods.  When  you  drink,  be  run  on  and  I  drink, 
and  then  when  all  drink  he  run  un  to  de  sea.  He  no  stand 
still — you  no  catch  him — you  no  hare  him.  If  I  cut  down 
your  apple-tree,  then  send  me  to  jail,  cause  you  plant  *em ; 
but  if  fcut  down  ash-tree,  oak-tree,  or  pine-tree  in  woods,  I 
say.  it*s  mine.  If  I  cut  'em  first — for  tree  in  big  woods  like 
liver— ftrst  out  him,  ftrst  have  him.  If  God  give  'em  all  to 
you,  where  is  your  writin',  or  bring  somebody  say  he  hear  him 
say  so,  then  I  stop.  I  never  kill  your  hog,  and  say  I  thought 
him  one  bear,  nor  your  hen,  afid  say  him  one  partridee ;  but 
you  go  kill  my  stock,  my  cariboo,  and  my  moose.  1  never 
ft^hten  away  your  sheep :  but  you  go  chop  wood,  and  make 
one  d— n  noise  and  frighten  away  brar :  so  when  I  go  to  my 
trtp  I  no  find  him  there,  and  I  lose  him,  and  de  skin  and  de 
meat  too.  No  two  laws  for  you  and  me,,  bnt  idl  mme.  Yotf 
kaowlefliry— 4uni  bi^  man  to Halilhxf— well,  Mm  very  good 
14» 


tmkH  that  |  T«ry  kiad  to  poor  IiuifltaD  (wImb  tlMt  im^  io1# 
lloaveo,  Ood  will  givo  Mm  plenty  teoky  to  mnoke,  ibr  tMt  I 
koow*)-— Well,  he  pay,  PMer  Paul,  when  you  want  ash^iWi 
vott  go  cut  'en  down  oo  my  land  when  you  like }  I  give  yoil 
faave*  He  very  good  roan  dat,  but  Ood  give  *em  afore  Jeflarv 
wti  born.  And  by  and  l^f  I  ^y.  ITNutt,  you  have  *ein  alL 
Indgian  all  die  eoon ;  no  more  wood  left— «o  more  hunt  ksftt^ 

tetarre,  and  then  you  take  all.  Till  then  I  take  *em  wood 
t  Ood  plant  for  us,  where  I  find  'em,  and  no  thanks  to  yotb 
It  would  puKsle  a  Philadelphia  lawer  to  aniiwer  that— 'I  guest,' 
said  Mr.  Slick.  That  feller  cyphered  that  out  of  human 
natur',— the  best  book  a  man  can  study  arter  all,  and  the  only 
true  one ;— -there's  no  two  ways  about  it— there's  nevtr  no 
mistake  there.  '  Queer  critter,  that  Peter ;  be  has  an  answer 
for  every  one ;  nothin'  ever  da'nts  or  poses  him.;  but  herewa 
aie  at  the  eend  of  our  journey,  and  I  must  say,  I  am  sorry  for 
it^  loo,  for  though  it's  been  a  considerable  of  a  long  one,  it'a 
baen  a  very  pleasant  one. 

» When  we  returned  to  Halifax  we  drove  to  Mrs*  Spioer's 
baarding-house,  where  I  had  bespoken  lodgings  previously  lo 
my  departdre  from  town.  While  the  servants  were  preparing 
my  room  we  were  shown  into  the  parlour  of  Mrs.  SpioeR' 
She  was  young,  pretty,  and  a  widow.  She  had  but  one  child, 
a  daughter  of  six  years  of  age,  which,  like  all  oi}ly  children,' 
waf  petted  and  spoiled.  Bhe  was  first  shy,  then  familiar,  and  * 
endea  by  being  troublesome  and  rude.  She  amused  her 
mother  by  imitating  Mr.  Slick's  pronunciation,  and  herself 
by  using  his  hat  for  a  foot-ball. 

Entertainin'  that,  ain't  it?  said  the  Clockmaker,  as  Wa 
entered  our  own  apartments.  The  wont  of  women  is,  said 
he,  they  are  for  ev^lastin'ly  ateasin'  folks  with  their  children, 
and  take  more  pains  to  spoil  *em  and  make  'em  disagreeable 
than  anything  edse.  Who  the  plague  wants  to  hear  'em  mpeet 
a  yard  o'  poetry  like  that  are  little  sarpent  7-— I  am  sure  I 
don't.  The  Hon.  Eli  Wad  was  right,  when  heikid  the  ways 
o'  woflnenkind  are  wonderfol.  I've  been  afeerd  to  venture  oil ' 
matrimfony  myself,  and  I  don't  altogether  think  I  shall  apeki- 
late  in  that  line  for  one  while.  It  don't  ^t  suit  a  rovin*  man 
like  me.  It's  a  conuderable  of  a  tie,  and  then  it  ain't  like  a 
hone  deal,  where,  if  you  don't  like  the  beast,  you  can  put  tl 
oW  19-  a  raflto,  or  k  trade,  or  swop  and  suit  youmelf  b^ter  f  ^ 
bft^ou  must  make  the  beat  of  a  bad  bargain,  and  put  ttf»  with 


nii|.«B(Hr«  MMNr 


%  l^  f|ia*i  oQtt  yoM  mttl  «  oiit^r  of  Om  figlrt  ptllWi 
■Airitfd, ye( MoUf ;  eMV  on  Uw  bU« iiir^iboiod uid  lyry  ibp 
u|in',^  kkiiD*,  or  ■tUkiB\  or  nicia'  ofi;  or  •vqAmUi*  lb  go  or 
ftionin*  back,  mm)  Uwfl  cloaa-Uinbid  and  good  oarrioge.  U*o 
obovt  the  diffioultcst  piooo  of  buiineig  I  know  on. 

Our  great  cities  ^n  moat  the  only  plaoee  is  our  Union 
where  a  man  may  marry  with  comibrt,  raek  richt  down  genM* 
•ae  comfort  and  no  drawbr^k.  (fo  (kmis^in^a  houaei  and 
if  you  go  for  to  pleaae  a  wuman  in  tha^  line»  there's  no  eeod 
o*  the  expenie  thevMi  go  to*  and  no  trouble  about  helpe  t  a 
<x>auderable  of  a  plague  them  in  liie  Stitea,  you  may  dapendt 
then  you  got  nothm*  to  provitlet  and  .olhin*  V  lee  a;  uar,  and 
it  tin't  so  plaguy  lonely  as  a  private  hou»  leithur.  Tht 
Indies,  too,  have  nothin*  to  do  aU  day  but  \»r  jss  tl  emseUeSf 
imfsipt  wdk  out,  or  go  ashoppm*,  of  n^oaive  visit  ;i '  home. 
Tti^y  have  a'most  a  grand  ^ime  of  A^  vou  may  dcp4i««d.  If 
there  be  apy  children,  why,  they  ci.a  bu  sent  up' garret  with 
'(09  helps,  out  o*  the  way  and  out  o'  hearin*  till  they  are  big 
•nqugh  to  go  to  school.    They  ain*t  half  the  plague  they  be  in 


t  y^^ 


ipjrivate  house.  But  one  o*  the  best  things  about  it  is, a 
neednU  stay  to  home  to  entertain  his  wile  aevenings,  for  sha 
can  find  company  enough  in  the  pwUic  rooms,  if  she  haa  t 
mind  to,  and  ne  can  go  to  the  political  cluba  and  coflfeo'housea, 
and  see  arter  politics,  and  enquire  how  the  nation's  agoin'  on, 
ajDcj  watch  over  the  doin's  of  Congress.  It  takes  a  great  deal 
of  time  that,  and  a  man  can't  discbarae  his  duties  right  to 
th9  State  or  the  Union  either,  if  he  is  for  everlastin'ly  tied  to 
hb  wile's  apron-strings^  'V'ou  may  talk  about  the  domestie 
hefrth,  and  the  pleasure -,  1'  home,  and  the  family  circle,  and 
ppiUiAt  irort  o'  thing,  squire:  it  sounds  veiry  clever,  and 
reads  dreadful  pretty ;  but  what  does  it  eend  in  at  lastl  phy, 
a  scpldin'  wife  with  l.«r  shoes  down  to  heel,  a-see-sawin'  in  a 
rocking  chair ;  *'er  hair  either  not  done  up  at  all,  or  all  atuck 
chock  full  of  paper  and  pins,  like  porcupine  quills ;  a  smoky 
'^bimbly  aputtin'  of  your  eyes  out ;  cryin'  children  asoreamin* 
<>f  your  ears  out ;  extravagant,  wasteful  helpsy  a-emptying  of 
i^qur  pockets  out,  and  the  whole  thing  awearin' of  your 
patience  out.  No,  there's  nothin'  like  a  great  boardin'  house, 
fq^r  inai-ried  folks ;  it  dcm't  cost  nothin*  liks  keepin'  house,  and 
there's  plenty  o'  company  all  the  time,  and  the  women  folks 
nev«ir  feel  lonely  Uke,  when  their  husbands  are  not  to  home. 
"Hie  only  thing  is  to  lam  the  goographyof  (ha  house  welli 


"m 


T^BM  OLttimMAMati^ 


^mA  know  tbdr  own  number.  If  they  doB*t  do  tfaM^  tliey 
«et  into  a  most'  adeueed  of  a  scrape}  that  it  ainH  so  inttf  ib 
back  out  of.  I  recollect  a  moet  acuriom  accident  that  hap* 
pened  that  way  onoe,  asettln*  into  tke  wring  roon^ 

I  had  gone  down  to  Boston  to  keep  4th  of  July,  otir  ^^feat 
'^nivarsary'day.  A  great  day  that,  squire ;  agfeatnatK^l 
ibstival ;  a  splendid  speetacte;  fifteen  minions  offree  men  anil 
three  million  of  slaves  aoelebratin*  the  birth-day  of  .liberty ; 
SfCjjmcin^  in  their  strength,  their  freedom  and  enlightenment. 
Perhaps  the  sun  never  shone  on  such  a  sight  afbrei  uor  the 
moon,  nor  the  stars,  for  their  planetary  .system  ain't  m  ii 
perfect  than  our  political  system.  The  sun  typifies  our  splbj;- 
dour;  the  moon  in  its  changes  figures  our  rotation  of  oflleo, 
•and  eclipses  of  Presidents,-— and  the  stars  are  emblems  of  out 
atatos,  as  painted  on  our  flags.  If  the  British  don't  csltch  It 
that  day,  it's  a  pity.  All  over  our  Union,  in  every  town  and 
Village,  there  are  orations  made,  gist  about  as  beautiful  piecii 
4if  workmanship,  and  as  nicely  dove>tailed  and  mortisedVandaii 
prettily  put  together  as  well  can  be,  and  the  English  catch  it 
«i^ery  where.  All  our  battles  are  fought  over  ag'in,  and  you  Oai^ 
«Vn  almost  see  the  British  aflyin'  afoipe  them  like  the  wind,  fiill 
•plit,  or  lajria'  down  their  arms  as  humble  as  you  please,  'hk 
marchin'oflTas  prisoners  tied  two  and  two,  like  runaway  nig* 
gers>  as  plain  as  if  you  was  in  the  engagements,  and  Washing- 
ton on  his  great  big  war-horse  aridiir  over  them,  and  our  free 
and  enlightened  citizens  askiverin'  of  them ;  or  the  proud  im- 
pod^t  ofiieers  akneelin'  down  to  him,  givin'  up  their  swordsy 
and  abeggin'  jbr  dear  life  for  quarter.  Then  you  think  yc»i| 
<cBn  e'en  a'moaC  see  that  infernal  spy  Andre  nabbed  and 
carched,  and  the  scorn  that  sot  on  the  brows  of  our  heroes  at 
^hef  threw  into  the  dirt  the  money  he  ofl^red  to  be  released, 
and  heard  him  heg  like  an  Indgian  to  be  shot  like  a  gentle- 
man, and  not  hanged  like  a  thief,  and  Washington's  noNe  and 
magnanimous  answer, — **  I  guess  they'll  think  we  are  afeerd 
if  we  don't,"— so  simple,  so  sublime.*  The  hammerin'  of  the, 
carpenters  seems  to  strike  your  ears  as  they  erect  the  gaUus  ( 
and  then  his  struggles,  like  a  (k>g  tucked  up  for  sheep^stealin'f 
ate  as  natural  as  life.  I  must  sayi  do  like  to  hear  them  ora* 
HoDs,-^  J  hear  of  the  deeds  of  our  heroes  by  land  i^Ad  by  sea; 
It's  a  l^ght  page  of  history  that.  It  exasperates  the  young^^^^ 
httpjtiw  their  blood  boil  irt  the  wrongs  of  their  fbrefatbers  i  fjL 
■MaM^iem  olean  their  riBes»  and  rtak  their  ballets.    I 


I 
I 
I 
1 
I 
I 


i 
i 

II 
ti 

i 

m 
3 

i 


4fmf»  them  ibr  that  giwt  dmjt  thtt  eomb*  day^  thai  aa^lilMl 
J^.n^bett  IImU  must  oonw  and  will  ^oiMt  m4  «tii*l  hlA^^ 
fonui*,  wh^  BtUaia  will  be  •  ooionjr  to  our  grwt  natiofH  mmI 
iwlieD  her  ctrfoues  will  be  etalee  in  our  UiiioB.'/^v^i 
|H^Maiiy,*4i  the  disputes,  and  pi«tt]r  bci  dia|wl6S  loo»  !>•  had 
<with  minister  aHaut  these  orations.  He. never  would  f»  near 
DO  'em ;  he  said  they  were  io:  bad  tafeto— (•  mat  phuaM  Of 
^!n4hat,  poor  dear  «>od  old  man{  I  believe  nit  heeil  yani 
alter  old  times,  and  1  must  thmh  sometimes  be  ought  io  haiw 
^ned  the  reibgees,)— bad  taste,  Sam.  It  smoll»o*  bmggin^ 
l^ongB^tlemany ;  and  what's  wors»«-it-'s  onebristiaa. 
,^3ut  ministers  don't  hmow  much  of  this  woild  f  "Ihey  way 
Jioow  the  road  to  the  next;  but  they  don't  know  the  oi 
ineds  and  by-paths  of  thin  one— thatV  a  fluH.    iut  I 


»lks'there;the  house  was  chock  AiU  of  strangers*  ^WelK 
jthere  rwae  a  geirtleinan  and  a  ladv^ne  Major  BbenuMr  lE^pffwd 
jAd.-fai8  wife,  aboardin'  there,  that  had  one  ehild,  the 'moat 
fryenest  critter  I  ever  seed ;  it  boohood  all  night  a'meat,  and 
Ihe  boarders  said  it  must  be  sent  up  to  the  oarret  to  the  he^M^ 
fat  no  soul  could  sleep  a'roost  Ibr  tf.  Well,  RMit  every  nifbl 
His.  Spzoul  had  to  go  up  there  to  quiet  the  Uttla  vammt^*-. 
Jlar  it, wouldn't ^ve  over  yellin*  for  no  <»e  but  her.  limt 
l|ttht,>>inpartikelar,  the  critter  eoreeehed  and  acieamed  Uin 
iM  Scratch;  and  at  lasi^Mrs.  Sproul  slipped  on  her  dreaiiii' 
fowndi  and  went  up  stairs  to  ity-Hind  l6ft  her  doori^f  so  aa 
pot  to  disturb  her  husband  aoooMn!  back  {  and  when  she  fa* 
imtmA,  die  pushed  ihe  door  open  softly,  and  shot  it  te^  and 
get  into  bed.  He's  ade^  now,  says  she;  I  hope  he  won*t 
ttstupb  me  ag'in.  No,  I  tan't  asleep,  mrnheer  atrangei^  miy* 
old  Zwicker,  a  Dutch  merchant  from  Albanv,  (for  the  had  got 
tate4be  wrong  room,  and  got  in  his  bed  by  mistake,)  nor  I 
ion*t  dank  you,  nor  Ginend  Beep  nesder,  for  puddin*  you  into 
my  bed  mid  me,  widout  my  leave  nor  Kchenaei  aor  abbrcba* 
tion^  needor.  I  liksh  your  nlaoe  nMMre  better  at  your  com* 
fiiiv  1  Oh,  I  got  no  i^imMett  Het  is  iammert  it  is  a  pity  1 
Ok\  dear^if  she  didn't  let  ao^  it*s  a  pity ;  she  kicked  and 
stureamed,  and  carried  on  liice  a  ravm'  distracted  hed»bMg^ 
Tousand  teyvels.  said  he  what  %ihi  te  mas  f  I  aeliave  he  la 
pawitdied«    Murdscl  murderi  vain  ihe^  and  she  oned  oti; ^ 


k 


'■  I 


^-iiry  tip  0eDd  of  her  voice,  mnrderf  ftiurder  t .  Wii|, 
iSSntipker^  ho  jumped  out  o'  bed  in  an  aH*fiMd  hurry,  mm 
properly  fridbtened,  you  may  depend ;  umI  efeeKiii*  her  dM|p> 
m'-fowod,  instead  of  his  trouetfi,  be  pot  hie  legs  iahr  wo 
•arinsof  it,  and  was  arunnia'  oqt  ^  the  room  ahMC^  tffi  <»f 
the  skirts  with  his  hands,  as  I  came  in  urith  the  tedOa.  Be 
fhrry  teyvd  hisself  is  in  te  man*  and  m  do  tiraosher  too^  silA , , 
ho;  fof  I  pefofo  ;te  oOot  has  grow'd  to  it  in  to  B%ht,  it  i«  ti 
jam  fc>og.    CNi,  tear!  what  a  pity.     StOf^  says  ly  If iiier 


Zwicher,  and  I  puUed  him  back  b^  the  gowad  (I  thotight  I 
should  adied  kraa'  to  see  him  in  mi  red  night*e(%  bia  c^ 
ttartia*  out, g? Jus  head,  Mid  those  ahort*h^g^  tr^tusers  ol^ 
fast  the  sleeveaof  the  dressin*  (pDwod  didnH  eomo  for^r  tfatti 
his  It^aemf  with  « |reat  long  tail  to  *em.)  Stop,  says  I,  mti 
icAl  !^%hal  all  this  everlastin-  hubbub  is  ab<Mit  i  who*s  A$^ 
aBdi^«t*8topay  nowt  /;  ,.  f 

i^;titts  ^no'  Mrs*  Sproul  lay  curled  up  iihie  a  ca^  timiklf^:. 
iftoirer  in  the  bed  elothes^  aydlin'  and  ascreamio'  liko^mad| 
'wQi^jdl  the  house  was  gather^  there,  some  ondnsMod^  iom 
aemo  J)irif*dres6od'  'SOBie  had  sticks  and  pokers,  and  sonil 
hud  swords.  HuUoi  says  I,  who  cm  airth  is  maJiuii*all  tIM 
tA«wit  GotoD  Hyroel,  said  he,  old  Saydon  himseH^  I  do 
fiii^lbvef  ho  oame  tru  de  door  and  jumped  right  into  ped,  ipd 
«dNd  to  k>iid  in  mine  ear  as  to  deeffsi  my  head  a'most:  |W 
biftout  hf  dsetopm  foot,  and  kitt  lum,  tam  him!  I  hlMlB^ 
giilhiet  BO.  Moteo,  and  he  knowM  it,  and  dat  is  to  cauaoi  iMtf 
n^ithin*  eiso.  Well,  the  folks  got  hold  of  the  dolhe^  jiiMl 
mdlod  oad  hauled  aWay  tiU  her  head  showed  iabovo  ttio  iHssI^ 
jDooVi  dear,  said  Major  Ebeaeaerfipioulj«44f  it  ian*t  Mm. 
S^oid,  ray.  wile,  as  i  am  alivo!  why*  M^  iia«»  whit 
bimiM^  you  here  ?---»what  on  ahrth  are  ]^  adom^^f  id  Mr. 
Zwkw's  room  hue?  1  take  my  oat,  shejirpai^  hwiif 
here,  shid  Ztnckor,  and  psf  die  iak»  hersen'^away  M^gi  •! 
fest  Of  she  came,  asd  more  ^ter  too.  What  wiiT^fixili^ 
Swtohar  say  to  this  wmnan*s  tatet*<^was  to  likiiesh  ivc^  IMi 
•Sm%  Tear,  tear,  but  *tis  too  pad  I  Weil,  weHi  soya  tlf 
iblhs,  iHmiM  athouaht  itT-^-enoh  a  stiiiidy  oUL  geotleiiiaii  # 
Mr.  Zm«ikiBr,«w««nd  yeottg  Matm  Spriiii,  kays  tiiey,*-<itd|' 
thwkof  her  !«-«^in*t  it  horrid 7  The  hussy  1  aays  th6  women 
ilEMio^lps :  sho^s  idcely  oaught,  ain*l  she  1  8he's  no  great 
tibwi^  any  how  to  talm  up  with  tlmt  nasty  smoky  dd  Iratoh- 
'—-  •  it  aarvw  her  nglit,«^  does,  the  i;ood*fi»r.noNiiil*  jaAi^ 


r  iM, 

ryt  oMil 
s;*  imof 

bottglil  I 
men  ^ 

io*»d«lii 


H»  greit 
Dutdl* 


Z".'/:^^  ofSinciaj.7 


— ^C-^y 


fV^ 


F^ti<^aMpiijaPui/L<!kedi>yLLndsav,t£iahiston 


if^lt  Wkn, 


.> 


2^w«M*l  I«rM  .  good  *.!,  I  «|  ^ ,  bw  they  «S 
y?  ••'^  ■•  gfw  won.  ■■»)  woiM)  mrv  daiTlwhS 

W»  ^wiok«r,  the  mofnni*  be  atM^iL  I  4«m  ^ 

k^l«ft  it  to  iKJiiBft  dtt  Owe  mid  tiwold  f^ 
I  ff^  «?*»•  ■  "^wi  it  r  aiW  lie»  Mr.  «i^^ 


^  — IT.  •^    •   ^**  *'^»  "  '"•  w«Mi  W  OMl  ini 


r 


' 
' 


#rlMil»y'  wriy  |coii  mutt  look  oat  sbam  arter  UMrdTiiMii  ir 

^  y«(i  won*t  gstnvtlMi*.    Tbiog*  vanish  lik*  Wiak^    I  raooRdet 

"•oooc  whan  quail*  first  came  in  that  teatoB  {  there  was  an  old 

•hajl  at  Peep's  boardinVhouse,  that  ased  to  take  the  wkcAe 

dUh  of  *ent»  empty  it  on  his  plate*  and  gobble  *em  op  Uke^a 

,  liirhfaycook,----aoioiw  else  ever  got  none.    We  wei«  an  a  go6d 

dill  ryled  at  it,  seein*  that  he  mdn*t  pay  no  mcwe  for  his  dti- 

aav  mn  im»  noi  nicknamed  him  **  6ld  Quail,**  and  it  outed 

Sim  I  he  utvays  left  half  arter  that,  for. a  sonunb.    No  ayi- 

,  ^tm  is  quite  perfect,  squire ;  accidents  wilt  haf^poi  in  tibe  iMBt 

mguhlted  places,  like  that  of  Marm  Sproul*s  and  Old  Qtta^} 

but  atiU  there  teoothin*  arter  all  like  a  boardin*-bouser-tka 

lOltly  thing  is,  keep  out  of  the  iproiif-  roosi. 


CHAPTER  XXi: 

HNDINO  A  MARTS  IfEST. 

Uaiifaz,  like  London,  has  its  tower  also,  but  therb  is  this 
iMnarkaUe  diflerence  between  these  two  national  structUMil, 
that  the  one  is  designed  for  the  <2efeilder8  of  the  oountryy  ai^ 
lbs  other  for  its  o^enders ;  and  that  the  former  is  as  dlflhuilt 
to  be  beokea  tnio  as  the  latter  (notwithstanding  all  the  inge- 
olotts. devices  of  successive  generations  from  the  dayn  of 
Julius  Cnsar  to  the  time  of  the  schoolmaster)  is  to  be  brol^ 
Ml  'i^4  A  critical  eye  mi^ht  perhaps , detect  some  caller, 
though  lesser't  points  of  distinction.  This  cis- Atlantic,  bmy- 
tetto  tower  has  a  more  aristocratic,  and  exclusive  air  tluui  ks 
dty  Iwother,  and  its  portals  are  oipea  to  none  but  those  wlio 
tap  attired  in  the  uniform  of  the  guard,  or  that  of  the  xoyid 
•taffl  while  th^  other  reoeives  the  lowest,  and  roost  deptwifsd, 
and  vulgar  of  mankind.  It  is  true  it  hiui  not  the'liontt  asd 
'Othar  adventitious  attractions  of  the  elder  one ;  but  the  origi-^ 
0tA  and  noble  park  in  which  it  stands  is  plentifully  stocked 
wifh  canibooi,  while  the  Aom-workr  of  the  latter  is  at  lefpt 
•qual  to  that  of  its  ancient  rival;  and  although  it  omv/tk 
•Miibit  a  display  of  the  tamumr  tf  tkf  eomUrf^^  its  venf  exili' 
Itoaa  there  is  conclusive  evideEEoa  of  the  asior  |Nifrt4«rHll 
flftDdi  on  an  emineaca  that  pratocta  the  havbour  of  Ha^, 


t^ 


IfOooHitet 

wat  an  old 

the  whde 

SlUb  « 

for  hit  dfe' 
indhcufed 
u  No  ayi- 
tin  the  teat 
)ldQttaii^; 
houser-^^ 


[theriiafUiB 
tl  stroctttfta, 

sountryv  M^ 
a  as  difl^U 

ill  the  Sgs- 
he  dayi  of 
tobebxol^ 
s<Mane  otSiert 
ftlantic;  mar- 
air  thaftita 
It  those  i»ho 
of  the  foyiil 
Mt  deprafod, 
be'Uofitt  aod. 
tut  the  origi-^ 
fully  stroked 
»r  is  at  kilit 
(h  it  eaailbt 
I  Tcrjr  ciw^ 

ofHiMi^ 


nironi*  a  ituiB'i  mcsr. 

•od  oommadda  tlpat  of  the  North- West  Arm,  and  ia  aituatad 
at  tho  terminatioa  of  a  fasbioaable  promenade,  whioh  ia 
akirtod  on  one  side  by  a  tluck  shrubbery,  and  on  the  other  by 
tha  watora  of  tiie  harbour ;  the  former  being  the  resort  of' 
thaae  of  both  sexes  who  delight  in  the  impervious  shade  of 
Iha  ipftioe»  and  the  latter  of  those  who  prefer  awinuning,  and 
alher  aqua^  exercises.  With  these  attractions  to  thelovera 
^fnaktrCf  and  a  pure  air,  it  is  thronged  at  all  hours,  but  mora 

Kcially  at  day-<kiwn,  by  tl^^  valetudinarian,  the  aged,  and 
m,  and  at  the  witching  hour  of  moonlight  by  those  who 
|M  young  enough  to  defy  the  dew  and  damp  air  of  night* 
^;  :Xo  the  latter  class  1  have  long  since  ceased  tobelong.  ^d» 
corpulent,  and  rheumatic,  I  am  compelled  to  be  careful  of  a 
body  that  is  not  worth  the  trouble  that  it  gives  me.  I  no  Ion- 
gar  indulge  in  the  dreary  virions  of  the  second  nap,  ibr,  alaal 
nan  tumqualit  eram,  I  rise  early,  and  take  my  constitutional 
walk  to  the  tower.  I  had  not  proceeded  more  than  half-way 
tlus  morning  before  I  met  the  Clookmaker  returning  to  town. 
Momin*,  squire,  said  he;  I  suppose  you  didn*t  hear  tha 
Dowa,  did  ypu?  the  British  packet's  in.  Which  packet?  aaid 
I ;  for  there  are  two  due,  and  great  apprehensions  are  enter- 
taiaed  that  (»e  of  them  is  lost.  Mor^  promotion,  thm,  said 
he,  for  them  navels  that's  left ;  it's  an  ill  wind  that  Uowa 
nobody  any  good.  Why  I  said  I,  Mr.  Slick,  how  can  you 
talk  so  unfeelingly  of  such  an  awful  catstrophe  1  Only  think 
Up  the  misery  entailed  by  such  an  event  upon  FalnK>uth,  where 
paoat  of  the  officers  and  crew  have  left  destitute  and  distressed 
foinilies.  .Poor  creatures,  what  dreadful  tidings  await  thorn  i 
Well,  well,  said  he,  I  didn't  gist  altogether  mean  to  make  a 
joke  of  it  neither ;  but  your  k^s  know  what  they  are  about ; 
Iham  coffin  ships  ain't  sent  out  for  nothin'.  Ten  of  them  gun- 
kriga  have  been  lost  already ;  and,  depend  on  it,  the  Engliah 
htave  their  reasons  for  iu-^here's  no  mistaTce  about  it :  con* 
aidarable  *<aite  chaps  them,  they  can-see  as  far  into  a  millstone 
ta  them  that  jHcks  the  bote  in  it;  if  .they  throw  a  sprat  it's  to 
eatch  a  mackerel,  or  my  name  is  not  Sam  Slick.  Reaafm,  I 
l^ied,T~wh«t  reason  can  there  be  for  oonmgning  so  mai^ 
flUaat  fellows  to  a  violent  death  and  a  watery  grave  t  What 
liottld  justify  such  a  '  '1  I'll  tell  you,  said  the  Clookmaker: 
k  keeps  thk  natives  to  home  by  frightenin'  'em  out  of  their 
Now,  if  they  had  a  good  seft  of  liners,  them 
tmriea  aad  radicala  would  be  for  everiaatiiigfy 


*tiMiaaitria»iwt  ■f^m^nm-  y . 


i^ 


I:. 


1^ 


I9i  •!«■  oMnounK'*'^ 

'•botheriii'  of  gavenmMUt  whh  thetr  veqiiatto  fmA  eomptaiBl*^ 
Hoagrv  as  bawkt  them  fellen,  theyM  Ikirly  ist  Hwrntoiata* 
li|^  wMiout  Mh^  they  would.  It  eompeto  'cm  to  etay  at  hoiii% 
il  doM.  Your  folks  decanre  eradil  ht  that  triek,  for  h  anawaii 
Ato  |Miraoer-rael  ooinpkete.  Yest  you  Bnglbh  am  pretty^  eon* 
Udemwe  umatiM  marp.  You  •ram't  bom  yesterday,  I  tell 
'y9$i  You  am  always  alliHfUi*  out  some  mam*e  aest  ^ 
anoChef.    Didn't  you  send  out  water<casks  and  ftllerin*- 


laat  war  to  ihafrUh  waier  lakes  to  Caaadat  DidnH  you  send 
out  a  (Vigate  tHem  ready  built,  in  pieces  ready  numbned  and 
mariud,  to  put  tocher,  'cause  them's  no  timber  in  Aaieri0l« 
nor  carpenters  neither?  Didn't  you  order  the  Yankee  pris- 
onem  to  be  kept  at  the  fortress  of  Lookburg,  whbh  was  so 
levelled  to  the  ground  fifty  yean  befom  that  folks  can  hardly 
Ml  whom  it  stood?  Han't  you  squaademd  mom^money  to 
^enmuda  than  would  make  a  militery  road  fivm  Haliikx  to 
Quebec,  make  the  Windsor  railroaii,  and  eomplete  the  neat 
eaoal?  Han't  you  built  a  dockyard  them  that  rots  all  the 
cordage  and  stores  as  ftst  as  you  send  them  out  them?  and 
haat  you  to  send  these  things  every  year  to  sell  to  HaMAuc, 
*eause  there  ain't  firfks  enough  to  Bermuda  to  make  an  auctba? 
Don't  you  send  out  a  squadron  every  year  of  seventy>4bam, 
ftigates,  and  sloops  of  war,  and  most  work  *em  to  death* - 
saodin*  em'  to  Bermuda  to  winter  'cause  it's  warm,  and  40 
BUifiii  to  8ur''^««r,  'cause  its  cool ;  and  to  carry  freights  of 
doHblooas  ano  aollars  fmm  the  West  Indgies  to  England, 
'cause  it  pays  well ;.  while  the  fisheries,  c^stin'  trade,  and 
l^fvenue  am  left  to  look  out  fi>r  themselves  ?  Oh,  if  you  doi^t 
beat  all,  it's  a  pity  (  ^' < 

Now,  what  m  natur*  is  the  use  of  them  am  gmat  seventy- 
foam  in  peace  time  in  that  station?  Half  the  sum  of  money 
one  of  them  are  everlastin'  almighty  moostem  cost  woiiM  eqilrip 
ft  doasen  spankin'  cuttem,  commanded  by  leftenants  m-  ^ 
Aavy,(and  this  I  will  say i- though  they  be  Britisbem,a8aianer 
sat  o'  men  than  they  be  never  stept  in  shoe-leather,)  and  th^d 
soon  set  these  matters  right  in  two  twos.  Th«n  stofventy-foura 
nut  me  in  mind  o'  Black  Hawk^  the  great  Indgian  chin,  l|«t 
was  to  lyashin'ton  lately ;  he  had  an  alligator  tattooed  on  the 
biHdt  part  of  <»ie  thigh,  and  a  raccoon  on  t^oll)fr,Jouohed  eff 
10  the  Very  nines,  ami  as  nateral  as  any  itAug  you  ever  ssed 
in  y^r  life  ,*  and  wel(  be  know'd  it  too,  fiw  m  was  as  pnttd 
^11  as  any  thin|;.    Wall,  tht  pmsfcdant,  and  «  whole  mft^ 


mittiatflt 
itbomtl 
antwtii 

iy,It*tt 


yonwnd 
ned  tad 

iMe  prit- 
1^^  wae  M 
n  hardly 
money  to 
Miftkx  to 
the  great 
ta  all  the 
erel  and 

HaUfki, 
lauctioaY 
aty4ban, 
to  dealht- 
o,  and  40 
«ightt  ti 

Bagltiid, 
rade,  and 

yottdoaH 

•evenly" 
of  oHMiey 
oukleqttip 
Bts  inthe 
,a8ttiwrter 
andth^d 

diief>  tk»X 
oedoatha 
NKhed  «ff 
ever  aaed 
laa  pnMtd 


mUMM  A  MARB'a  MDBT.  Iff 

laaatom^  aad  a  eaasiderable  of  an  aaaoftment  of  moat  hatli' 
ftil  ladiea,  went  ail  over  the  capitol  with  bim*  •honio'  him  thi 
gieat  biiildin*s,  and  public  halls,  and  ourioaitiea,  paleBt8».pre> 
aents,  and  what  not ;  but  Black  Ilawk,  he  took  no  notice  cf 
•othin'  a'OKMt  till  he  came  to  the  pictur'a  of  out  great  naval 
and  military  hmroea,  and  splendid  national  victories  of  our  firea 
and  enlightened  citizens,  and  iktm^  did  stare  at ;  they  poaed 
turn  considerable^^-that's  a  fact* 

Well,  warrior,  said  the  president,  arubbin*  of  his  haadai 
and  asmilin*,  what  do  you  think  of  themi  Broder,  said 
Black  Hawk,  them  grand,  them  live,  and  breathe  and  speaks— 
them  great .  pictures  I  ttM  yov,  very  great  indeed,  but  I  fot 
better  ones,  said  he*  and  he  turned  round,  and  stooped  down* 
and-  drew  up  his  mantle  over  his  head.  Look  at  that  alliodovt 
broder,  said  he,  and  he  strupk  itVith  his  hand  till  he  made  aU 
ring  again ;  and  that  racoon  behind  there ;  bean't  they  splendid  1 
Oh  I  if  there  warnH  ajihout,  it*s  a  pity !  The  men  haw-hawed 
light  out  like  thunder,  and  the  women  ran  off,  and  screamed 
like  mad.  Did, you  ever  1  said  they.  How  ondecent  I  i^a*t  it 
shocking  ?  and  then  they  screamed  out  ag'in  louder  than  afiim. 
Oh  dear !  said  they,  if  that  nasty,  horrid  thing  ainU  in  all  tiaa 
mirrorain  the  room  I  and  they  put  th^ir  pretty  little  hands  ap 
to  their  dear  little  eyes,  and  raced  risht  out  into  the  ativil* 
The  premdent  he  stamped,  and  bit  hislip,  and  looked  as  !;nad 
as  if  he  could  have  swallowed  a  wild  cat  alive.  Cucd  him  1 
aaid  he,  Pve  half  a  mind  to  kick  him  into  the  Potomac,  the 
iavage  brute!  I  shall  never  hear  the  last  of  this  jdie. 
1  iairly  thought  I  should  have  split  to  see  the  conflustrigp*^«m 
it  put  *em  all  into.  ^  Now,  that's  gist  the  way  with  >v  jr 
aevelnty-fottrs./  When  the  Blue-noses  grumble  that  we  Yani* 
ke6s  smu§^  like  all  vengeance,  and  have  all  the  fisheries  .on< 
the  coast  to  ourselves,  you  send  'em  out  a  great  seventy-ibinr 
4nth  k  painted  statn  for  'em  to  look  at,  and  it  is  eist^about  aa 
muck  use  as  the  tattooed  stem  of  3lack  Hawk,  rh^pe  I  may 

be  shot  if  it  ain't.    Well,  then,  gist  see  bow  ycm 

'  True,  said  I,  glad  to  put  a  stop  to  the  enumeration  of  o«r 
blunders,  but  government  have  added  some  new  vessels  to 
tjtta  packet  line  of  a  ^ery  superior  description,  and  will  with* 
draw  theoldocjs  as  soon  as  possible.  These  changes  are 
very  expensive,  and  cannot  be  efl^ted  in  a  moment.  Yes, 
•aid  he,  so  I  have  heerd  tell ;  and  I  have  heecd,  too,  that  the* 
'lew oaea  won't  lay  to,  and  the  old  ones  won't  scud;  grand 


lit  tini  aooKMAKni. 

eiMUM»#ii^  gale  for  •  ftller  thut,  ain*t  it  t  Om  tttmbtet  oftr 
In  the  trough  of  the  leat  and  the  other  has  luch  great-aolbi  huh 
warka,  if  ahe-ihipa  a  sea,  she  never  gpta  rid  of  It  iMK  by  ooinF 
down.  Oh,  you  British  are  up  to  everr  thing  I  it  wouldn^t  ha 
easy  to  put  a  wrinkle  on  your  horns,  I  know.  They  will,  at 
Isast,  said  I,  with  mors  pique  than  prudence,  last  as  Umg  as  tba 
•(Monies.  It  is  admitted  on  all  hands  now,  by  Tories,  Whigs, 
and  Radicals,  that  the  time  is  not  far  distant  when  the  pro- 
vinces will  be  old  enough  for  independence,  and  strmg  enough 
to  demand  it.  I  am  also  happy  to  say  that  there  is  every  dis* 
pomtion  to-  yield  to  their  wishes  whenever  a  majority  shall 
concur  in  applying  for  a  separation.  It  is  very  quesiionablt 
whether  the  expense  of  their  protection  is  not  greater  than 
any  advantage  we  derive  from  them. 

That,  said  the  Clockmaker'is  what  I  call,  now,  good  sound 
imse.  I  like  to  hear  you  talk  that  way,  for  it  shows  you 
partysipate  in  the  enlightenment  of  the  age.  After  all  the 
expose  you  have  been  to  in  conquerin*,  cleartn*,  settlin',  for* 
tiffin*,  governin',  and  protectin*  these  colonies,  from  Jthe  tima 
they  were  little  miserable  spindlin*  seedlings  up  to  now,  when 
they  have  grow'd  to  be  considerable  stiff  and  strong,  and  of 
some  use,  to  give  *em  up,  and  encourage  *em  to  ax  for  *man- 
dpation,  is,  I  estimate,  the  pert  of  wise'  men.  Yes,  I  see  yoii 
•re  wide  awake.  Let  *em  go.  They  are  no  use  to  you.  Bat, 
I  say,  squire— and  he  tapped  m»pn  the  shoulder,  and  winkedt 
—let  'em  look  out  the  next  mornin'  arter  they  are  free  for 
a  visit  from  us.  If  we  douTt  put  *em  thro*  their  facin*s  it*si 
a  pity.  Tho'  they  are  no  good  to  you,  they  are  worth  a  Jew's 
aye  to  us,  and  have  'em  we  will,  by  gum ! 
■  >  You  put  me  in  mind-of  a  British  Parliament-roan  that  waa 
travellin*  in  the  States  once.  I  seed  him  in  fi  steamboat  on 
the  Ohio,  (a'most  a  grand  river  that,  squire.;  if  you  were  tQ 
put  all  fjao  English  rivers  into  one  you  couldn't  make  its  ditto,) 
1^  we  went  the  matter  of  seven  hundred  miles  on  it  till  'A 
jined  the  Misnssippi.  As  soon  ai  we  turned  to  go  down  that 
river  he  stood,  and  stared,  and  scratched  his  head,  like 
bewildered.  Says  he,  this  is  very  stranse-^very  strange  in- 
deed, says  he.  What's  strange?  ^id  I;  but  he  went  on  with- 
out h^rin'.  It's  the  greatest  curiosity,  said  he,  I  ever  seed, 
a  nateral  phenomenon,  one  of  the  wonders  of  the  world ;  and 
*be  jumped  right  up  and  down'  like  a  ravin'  distracted  fook 
Where  is  it,  said  he.    What  the  d—l  has  become  of  it?    If 


I 


flUMira  4  lUU'S  f VST. 


m 


•olhl  bul« 
t'by  Boia^ 
ouldn^t  \m 
ty  wilt,  ■! 

»,  WhigB, 
n  the  pro* 
Dg  enough 
every  dTt> 
>rity  ehall 
lestionablt 
Buier  Uum 

;Qod  eound 
(hove  you 
er  all  the 
sttlin',  for* 
n  .the  time 
now,  when 
ig,  and  of 
for  *man" 
I  see  yoti 
you.  But, 
id  winkedf 
■e  free  for 
facings  it*a 
th  a  Jew's 

that  wae 
Mnboat  on 
u  were  tof 
B  its  ditto,) 
on  it  till  it 
down  th«k 
head,  like 
itrange  in- 
it  on  with- 
ever  seed, 
rorld;  and 
ic^  fooi^ 
of  it?    If 


H*s  your  wit,  aaid  I,  you  are  alookin*  for,  it*s  fOM  a  woal»  ' 
gatherin*  more  nor  half  an  hour  ^go.  What  oo  airth  allt 
you,  saya  I,  to  nwke  you  act  so  like  Old  Scratch  ttet  wayl 
1)0,  for  goodness  sake,  look  here,  Mr.  B\iek  I  said  he.  That 
immense  river,  the  Ohio,  that  we  have  been  sailin*  upon  ao 
many  days,  where  is  iti  Where  b  it!  said  I.  Why  it*s  ran 
Into  the  Mississippi  here  to  be  sure;  whek-e  else  should  it  bet 
or  did  you  think  it  was  ike  a  snake  that  it  curled  its  head 
nnder  its  own  belly,  and  run  back  again  1  But,  saic!  he,  the 
Mississippi  ara*t  made  one  inch  higher  or  one  inch  wider  by 
U ;  it  doa*t  swell  it  one  mite  or  morsel ;  it*s  marvellous,  ainl 
it!  Well,  gist  afore  that,  we  had  been  talking  about  thn 
colonies ;  so,  says  I,  I  can  tell  you  a  more  mqrvelLous  thing 
than  that  by  a  long  chalk. 

There  is  Upper  Canada,  and  Lower  Canada,  and  New 
Brunswick,  and  Nova  Scotia,  and  Cape  Breton,  and  Prinoai 
Edward's  Island,  and  Newfoundland,'r-they  all  belong  to  the 
English.  Well,  said  he,  I  know  that  as  well  as  you  do. 
OonH  be  so  plaguy  touchy  t  said  I,  but  hear  me  out.  They 
all  belong  to  the  English,  and  there's  no  two  ways  about  it ; 
it's  the  best  part  of  America,  too ;  better  land  and  better 
climate  than  ourn,  and  free  from  yaller  fever8,^nd  agues,  and 
nigger  slaves,  and  hoelile  Indgians,  and  Lynchers,  and^alliga- 
tiars,  and  such  like  varmint,  and  all  the  trade  and  commefon 
of  them  colonies,  and  the  supply  of  'factured  goods  bebng.  to 
ihe  English  too,  and  yet  I  defv  any  livin'  soul  to  say  he  can 
■ee  that  it  swells  their  trade  to  be  one  inch  wider,  or  one  inch 
higher ;  it*s  ^t  a  drop  in  the  bucket.  Well,  that  >«  strange, 
,8aid  he;  but  it  only^i^ws  the  magnitude  of  British  commerce. 
Yes,  satyrs  I,  it  does ;  it  shows  another  thing  too.  Wluit*s 
tfaot,  said  he.  Why,  says~  I,  that  their  commerce  is  a  plaguy 
i^ght  deeper  than  the  shallor-pated  noodles  that  it  belongs  to. 
Do  you,  said  I,  jist  take  the  lead-line,  and  sound  the  river  jiat 
below  where  the  Ohio  comes  into  it,  and  you  will  find  that, 
though  it  tante  broader  or  higher,  it*s  an  everlastin*  sight 
deeper  than  it  is  above  the  jinin  place.  It  can't  be  otherwise 
jn  natur'. 

.  Now,  turn  the  Ohio,  and  let  it  run  down  to  Baltimore,  and 
you'd  find  the  Mississippi,  mammoth  as  it  is,  a  different  guess 
river  firom  what  you  now  see  it.  It  wouldp't  overrun  its 
banks  no  more,  nor  break  the  dykes  at  New  Orleans,  nor 
lanvo  the  great  Cyprus  swamps  under  water  any  longer.  It. 
1ft* 


T^ 


liPiiU  look  pveily  iliiolnJ  in  dry  wfath«r,  I  know.  Obt  m 
vkk  tho  oolooy  trade )  thougk  you  o«B*t  mo  H  in  tht  ooomi  of 
SagUih  trado,  yol  it  to  thora.  C«t  ft  dA;  Md  mo  the  raft  of 
iki|W  you*d  baye  to  «pera,%nd  the  ihouMiMto  of  ■Mmen  youM 
keve  to  emigrate  to  m  I  end  see  funr  while  about  the  gilli 
OlaeffQW,  end  Oroenock,  and  Liverpool,  and  Mancheeter,  iMl 
BifmTngham,  would  look.  Cuttin*  off  the  cokmiet  to  like  out* 
tin*  off  Hm  foota  of  a  tree }  it's  an  even  elUfnoe  if  it  doa*t  btow 
fifht  alap  over  Ike  very  first  tneeie  of  wind  that  comeo  |  and 
if  it  don't,  the  leaves  curl  up,  turn  yaller,  and  (kll  .off  aA>ra 
thoir  time.  Well,  the  neit  spring  follerin*  there  is  about  six 
hiH.  of  the  top  dead,  and  the  tips  of  the  branches  withered, 
and  the  leaves  only  half  siie ;  and  the  year  after,  unless  it 
ponds  out  new  roots,  it*s  a  great  toafless  trunk,  a  sight  to 
behold  I  and,  if  it  to  strong  enough  to  push  out  new  roots,  it 
nay  ravive,  but  it  never  looks  like  itself  again.  Tie  Ivmn 
FMsae  it  gcm^  and  g<me  fcr  fe«r.  ^ 

.    Ydtt  got  chaps  in  your  paritoment  that  never  seed  a  colony, 
and  yet  get  up  and  talk  about  *em  by  the  hour,  and  look  ao . 
wiae  about  *em  as  the  monkey  that  had  seen  th|B  world. 

In  America  all  our  farms  almost  have  what  we  call  the 
ioi^h  pastur'^-that  is,  a  great  rough  fi^Id  of  a  hundred  acrao 
or  so,  near  the  woods,  where  we  turn  in  our  young  cattle,  and 
hieodin*  mares,  and  colts,  and  dry  cows,  and  what  not,  whera 
tkev  take  care  of  themselves,  and  the  young  stock  grow  up^ 
■M  the  oM  stock  grow  fat.  Jir's  o  grtuid  ouOei  lAol  to  tk§ ' 
jfumf  that  would  be  ooeratdbhed  wUKout  U.  We  couM  not 
do  without  it  nohow.  Nom,  fowr  eoUmieo  are  the  gretUjkld 
far  a  redtauUuU  gejuJafiew,  •  grmitd  outlet.  Ask  the  Bif(»-> 
taliaoa  what  &Eed  their  OuAl  Losin'  the  overland-trade  to 
India.  Ask  the  folkc  to  Cadis  what  put  them  up  a  treet 
Loein*  the  trade  to  South  America.  If  that*s  too  far  off,  ask 
the  people  of  Bristol  and  Cheater  what  sewed  them  up  t  and 
thev  will  tell  you,  while  Hiey  was  asleep,  Liverpool  ran  off 
with  their  trade.  And  if  vou  havn*t  time  to  go  there,  ax  the 
ftrst  coachman  you  get  alongside  of,  what  he  thinks  of  the 
railroads?  and  gist  Itoten  to  the  funeral  hymn  he'll  sing  over 
t^  turnpikes.  When  I  yras  to  England  ^ast,  I  always  did 
that  when  I  was  'in  a  hurry,  and  it  put  coachee^nto  such  a 
passion,  he*d  turn  to  and  lick  his  horses  out  o*  s{Hte  into  a  ftill 
gallop.  D — ^n  *em,  he*d  say,  them  that  sancticmed  than  rail- 
ittads,  to  rain  the  *pikeo,  (§Bt  along,  you  lasy  willain,  Ckar* 


flV 


%  wwn. 


Gkum 

raft  of 
nyodM 

tor,  i«4 
ikeeut* 
AH  blow 
Ml  •ni 
tflTftfera 
bouttis 
rithered, 
udUmU 
■ight  to 
rootS)  il 

I  eoloB]^ 
llookat 
d. 

call  tho 
«d  aoffM  . 
tttle,«iid 
it,  wbert 
(row  up^ 
^U>m§ 
ouki  not 
-eaiJMi 
he  J5jf*v 
trade  to 
s  treet 
off,  a«k 
upt  and 
ran  off 
B,  ax  the 
■  of  the 
ling  over 
rays  did 
such  a 
ito  a  fiill 
Mm  ratt- 
OiChar* 


f 

10 


iCjriMd  he*d  lav  h  lal»  the  wheeler,)  thejr  ought  to  be  hMi|Ml, 
sir,  (that*a  the  ticket,  and  he*d  whop  the  leadev,>^yea,  sir,  K 
be  heoffed,  for  what  ie  to  become  or  them  aa  lent  their  money 
on  the  'pikee  1  (wh— iet,  enek,  eraek  |oee  the  whip)— ha4y(ed 
and  quartered  thev  ousht  to  be.  Imee  men  ought  to  be 
leleoerated  aa  well  ae  the  elave-holdece }  I  wonder,  tif,  what 
we  thall  all  come  to  yet  t  Coroo  to,  layt  I ;  whv,  to  be  a 
•loker  to  be  sura ;  tbat*a  what  all  you  ooachme^  will  eend  In 
At  laet,  aa  sura  aa  you  an  born*  A  itoker,  eir,  Mdd  kei 
(lookio*  aa  botherad  aa  if  it  wor  a  French  Airriner  that  wovdi) 
Hrhat  the  d— 1  ie  thatt  Why,  a  atoker,  aaya  I,  ia  a  critler 
that  drawa,  and  atira,  and  pokea  the  fira  of  a  ateam>en«(hi'. 
IM  aooner  die  firat,  air,  aaid  he ;  I  would,  d-Hoi  me,  if  I 
woukin*t  I  Only  think  of  a  man  of  my  a^  and  aiae  beta*  a 
itoker,  air ;  I  woukln't  be  in  the  fellow*a  akin  that  would  pre* 
peee  it  to  me,*  for  the  beat  ahilling  aa  ever  came  out  o*  the 
mint.  Take  that,  and  thai,  and  that,  he*d  aay,  to  the  off  for* 
*atrd  horae,  (alayin*  it  into  him  like  mad,)  and  do  your  own 
work,  you  diahooeat  raacal.  It  b  fun  alive  you  may  depend. 
No,  air,  loae  your  coloniea,  and  youM  have£jf««taliancitiee 
without  their  climate,  .^jfe-talian  lazaroni  without  their  Iteht 
hearta  to  aing  over  their  poverty,  (for  the  Bngliah  can*t  alBg 
A  bit  better  nor  bull  frooa,)  and  worae  than  fjfe-talian  emp- 
tiona  and  volcanoea  in  poiitica,  without  the  grandeur  and  aub> 
limity  of  thoae  in  natur*.  Chaoeive  not  yourselvea ;  if  you 
lop  off  the  brancbea,  the  tree  periahee,  for  the  leavea  elabe- 
fate  the  aap  that  vivifiea,  nouriahee,  and  aupporta  the  trunk* 
Thera*a  no  two  waya  about  it,  aquira :  **  them  who  mp  cvkh 
mea  are  no  good,  are  either  foei§  or  haam$f  ift^  oefoiHe 
ikeif  «tn*<  vMTth  aiuwenfi*,  and  i/tkep  are  knavee,  eend  them 
to  ike  treadmU,  tOi  thep  iam  toepeak  the  truth," 


ITf 


THE  obociiuxnu 


ri 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

KEEPING  UP  THE  STEAM. 

It  is  painful  to  think  of  the  blunders  that  have  been  com* 
jnittefl  from  time  to  time  in  the  management  of  our  colonieSf 
end  of  the  gross  ignorance,  or  utter  disregard  of  their  inttilV 
ests,  that  has  been  displayed  in  the  treaties  with  foreign  pow- 
ers. Fortunately  for  the  mother  country  the  colonists  aro 
wartnly  attachea  to  her  and  her  institutions,  and  deplore  a 
separation  too  much. to  agitate  questions,  however  important, 
that  may  have  a  tendency  to  weaken  their  aflections  by 
arousing  their  passions.  The  time,  however,  has  now  arrived 
when  the  treatment  of  adults  should  supersede  that  of  chil- 
dren. Other  and  nearer,  and,  for  the  time,  more  important 
interests,  have  occupied  her  attention,  and  diverted  her 
thoughts  from  those  distant  portions  of  the  empire.  Much, 
therefoTe,  that  has  been  done  may  be  attributed  to  want  of 
accurate  information,  while  it  is  to  be  feared  much  also  has 
arisen  from  not  duly  appreciating  their  importance.  The 
government  of  the  provinces  has  been^  but  too  oilen  intrusted 
to  persons  who  have  been  selected,  not  so  much  from  their 
peculiar  fitness  for  the  situation,  as  with  reference  to  their 
^mterests,  or  their  claims  for  reward  for  past  services  in  oth# 
departments.  From  persons  thus  chosen,  no  very  accurate 
or  useful  information  can  be  expected.  This  is  the  more  to 
be  regretted  as  the  resolutions  of  the  dominajt  party,  either 
in  the  House  of  Assembly  or  Council,  are  not  always  to  be 
received  as  conclusive  evidence  of  public  opinion.  They  are 
sometimes  produced  by  accidental  causes,  oAen  by  temporary 
jexcitement,  and  frequently  by  the  intrigue  or  talents  of  one 
man.  In  the  colonies,  the  legislature  is  more  oilen  in  advance 
of  public  opinion,  than  coerced  by  it,  and  the  pressure  from 
'with^out  is  sometimes  caused  by  the  excitement  premo^ly 
exiding  tottAtn,  while  in  many  cases  the  people  do  not  par- 
ticipate in  the  views  of  their  representatives.  Hence  tie 
resolutions  of  one  day  are  sometimes  rescinded  the  next,  and 
a  subsequent  session,  or  a  new  house,  is  found  to  hold  opin- 
ions oj^posed  to  those  of  its  predecessor.    To  these  difficultios 


len  com* 
coloniety 
sir  inteV- 
ign  pow- 
iists  are 
eplore  a 
^portant, 
tions  by 
V  arrived 
of  chil- 
mportaht 
rted   her 
Much, 
want  of 
also  has 
e.    The 
Dtrusted 
)m  their 
to  thek 
in  othm 
Giccurate 
more  to 
|r,  either 
rs  to  be 
'hey  are 
nporary 
of  one 
advance 
re  from 
motStly 
lot  par- 
ice  t':.-^^ 
ixt,  and 
d  opin- 
cultiM 


t#  TUB  iriAM.  177 

m  obtaining  accurate  information,  may  be  added  the  unoiirtaift 
oharactor  of  that  arisins  from  pHvate  aouroes.  Individualft 
having  accese  to^the  Colonial  Office,  are  not  alWayt  the  beat 
qualified  for  ccMuultation,  and  iiMereet  or  prc{)udice  ii  but  too 
often  tbund  to  operate  insensibly  even  upon  those  whoee  iio- 
oerity  fnd  inti^rity  are  undoubted.  As  a  remedy  ibr  theaa 
evils  it  has  been  proposed  to  give  the  colonies  a  fepresenta* 
tion  in  parliament,  but  the  measure  is  attended  with  so  many 
ejections,  and  such  inherent  difficulties,  that  it  may  be  ooii> 
•idered  almost  impracticable.  The  only  satbfoctory  and 
efficient  prescription  that  political  quackerv  has  hitbefto  sug- 
gested, appears  to  be  that  of  a  Colonial  Council-board,  com- 
posed pnnc^lly,  if  not  virholly,  of  persons  from  the  respect- 
tire  provinces;  who,  while  the  minister  changes  with  tht 
calnnet  of  the  day,  shall  remain  as  permanent  members,  to 
mform,  advise,  and  assist  his  successor.  Nom  M  moUmi 
can*JvUy  under^astd  the  peculiar  feelings  of  tht  eeiloitiitU* 
The  advantages  to  be  derived  from  such  a  board,  are  too  obvi- 
ons  to  be  enlarged  upon,  and  will  readily  occur  to  any  one  at 
all  cenversant  with  these  subjects ;  for  it  b  a  matter  of  noto- 
riety, that  a  correspondence  may  be  commenced  by  one  min- 
ister, continued  by  a  second,  and  terminated  by  a  third,  ao 
inpid  have  sometimes  been  the  changes  in  this  department, 
Xl  is  not  my  business,  'however,  to  su|;gest,  (and  1  heartily 
rqoice  that  it  is  »not,  for  I  am  no  projector,)  but  simply  to 

fpord  the  sayings  and  doings  of  that  eccentric  personagOi 
r.  Samuel  Slick;  to  whom  it  is  now  high  time  to  return. 
You  object,  said  I,  to  the  present  line  of  government  pack- 
ets runnhig  between  Falmouth  and  Halifhx  (an^  I  must  aay, 
not  without  reason:)  pray,  what  do  you  prdpoae  to  substituto 
in  their  i^aces.  Well,  I  don*t  know,  said  be,  as  I  gift  altogether 
ought  to  blart  out  all  I  think  about  it.  Our  folks  mightn't  be 
oyer  half  pleased  with  me  for  the  hint,  for,  our  New  York 
liners  ^ve  the  whole  run  of  .the  passengers  now,  and  plaguy 

Erpud  ^ur  folks  be  of  it,  too,  I  tell  you.  Whv,  if  it  was  to 
)a%QUt«it  was  me  that  put  you  up  to  it,  I  should  have  to 
gallop  through  the  country  when  I  returned  home,  as  Head 
Sid— 'you  know  Head  the  author,  don't  you?  There  are 
several  gentlemen  of  that  name,  I  replied,  who  have  distln- 
ffuished  themselvis  as  authors ;  pray,  which  do  you  mean  f 
Well,  I  don't  know,  said,  he,  as  I  can  ffist  altogether  indicate 
the  identical  man  \  mean,  but  I  caloulato  it 's  him  that  gal* 
l<^ped  the  wild  horses  in  tk<9  Pampas  a  hundred  miles  a  day 


tm 


nm  oLotxukKXK. 


haad  ninninVclay  in  and  (ky  out,  on  beef  tea,  madeof  hung 
'beef^ and. cold  water; — it's  the  gallonin'  one  I  mean;  he  is 
Ctevernor  to  Canada  now^  I  believe.  Yoy  know  in  thai  are 
book  he  wrote  on  gallopin'  he  says,  **  the  gneatest  luxury  in 
idl  natur*  is  to  ride  without  trousers  on,  a'  horse  without  a  sM- 
dHot!' — what  we  cfcU  bare-breeched  and  bare-b«cked«  (CNi! 
Inwonder  he  didn't  die  a-larfin*,  I  do,  I  vow.  Them  great 
thistles  that  he  says  grow  in  the  Pampas  as  high  as  a  hu- 
man's  head,  must  have  tickled  a  man  a'most'to  death  that 
sode  that  way.)  Well,  now,  if  I  was  to  tell  you  how  to  work 
it  I  should  luiye  to  ride  armed  as  he  was^  in  his  travels,  wil^ 
two  pair  of  detonatin'  pistols  and  a  double-barrelled  gun,  and 
when  I  seed  a  gaucho  of  a  New  Yorker  a-comin*,  clap  the 
rmns  in  my  mouth,  set  off  at  full  gallop,  and  pint  f|  pistcrf  at 
him  with  each  hand ;  or  else  I  'd  hare  to  lasso  himv-— 4lut^t 
■trtain, — for  they'd  make  travellin'  in  that  state tpoll^fbr 
me  to  wear  breeches  I  know.  I  'd  have  to  off  with  thetti  fall  , 
chisel,  and  go  it  bare-backed,r-<>that  's  as  clear  as  mud.  I  b^ 
lieve  Sir  Francis  Head  is  no  great  favourite,  I  replied,  with 
your  countrymen,  but  he  is  very  popular  with  the  cokaisttr^ 
and  very  deservedly  so.  He  is  an  able  and  efficient  governs, 
and  possesses  the  entire  confidence  of  the  provinces.  He  Uk' 
placed  in  a  very  difficult  situation,  and  appears  to  displn' 
ffreat  tact  and  great  talent.  WeH,  wdl,  said  he,  let  that  psss^ 
I  won't  say  he  don't,  though  I  wish  he  wouldn't  talk  so  much 
l^'in  us  ci  he  does,  anyhow ;  but  will  you  promise  you  wo||t 
let  on  it  was  me  now  if  I  tell  y<iu  ?  Cerfaittly,  said  I,  jmk 
name  shall  be  concealed.  Well,  then,  I'll  tell  you,  said  he ; 
turn  your  altention  to  steam  navigation  taHidifax^  Sieam 
will  half  rum  England,  yet,  if  they  don't  ncind.  It  4will  drain 
it  of  its  money,  drain  it  of  its  population,  and — what '«  more 
than  all— what  it  can  spare  lea^t  of  all,  and  what  it  will  feel 
more  nor  all,  it|  artisans,  its  skilful  workmen,  and  its  honest, 
intelligent,  and  respectable  middle  classes.  It  will  leave  you 
nothin'  in  time  but  your  aristocracy  and  your  poor.  A  trip 
to  America  is  gotn'  to  be  nothin'  more  than  a  trip  t«  Br^ce, 
i^d  folks  will  go  where  land  is  cheap  and  labour,high>  It 
will  build  the  new  world  up,  but  it  will  drain  th^  old  one  out  in 
away  no  one  thinks  on.  Turn  this  tide  of  emigration  to  your 
own  provinces,  or,  &a  sure  as'  eggs  is  ^^s^e  will  get  it  all. 
You  han't  no  notion  what  steam' is  d^tined  to  do  ibr  America. 
It  will  make  it  look  as  bright  as  -a  pewter  button  yet,  i  know. 
'  The  distance,  as  I  make  it,  from  Bristol  to  New  York  Light* 


1- 


KKWlirv  UP  Tm  STEAM. 


-IW 


of  hung 
a;' he  is 
that  ara 
axury  in 
at  a  Mk&- 
l»    (Oh! 
iin  great 
as  a  htt> 
eath  that' 
to  work 
rels,  wHfa 
gun,  and 
clap  the 
I  pistol  St 
i^— that^s 
aoh^fiir 
them  fttU  , 
ad>    I  b^ 
tied,  with  , 
coknists^  * 
governor, 
ts.    Hei*"* 
o  displif'" 
that  pM^ 
so  mucti 
you  WQ|k 
id  I,  y<w 
,  said  he ; 
^   Steam 
will  drain 
at  *i  more 
t  will  feel 
its  honest, 
leave  you 
r.  *  A  trip 
«£r^oe, 

.high.    It 
one  out  in 

m  to  your 
g^  it  all. 
•  America, 
t,  Iknow. 
ork  Light- 


houao,  i%  3097  miles  {  firom  Bristol  to  Halifax  Light-houae  is 

1^470 ;  from  Halifax  Light  to  New  York  Light  is  522  miles,— 

in  ajllt  3001  miles  f  558  miles  shorter  than  New  York  line; 

and  even  going  to  ^ew  York,  86  miles  shorter  to  stop  to  Hal- 

Uhx  than  to  go  ta  New  York  direct.    I  fix  on  Bristol  'cause 

v^'s  a  better  port  for  the  purpose  than  Liverpool,  and  the  new 

rail-road  will  be  gist  the  dandy  for  you.    But  them  grea<,  fht, 

porter-drinkin'  critters  of  Bristol  have  been  asnorin'  fast  asleep 

for  half  a  century,  and  only  gist  got  one  eye  open  now.    Vm 

most  afeerd  they  will  turn  over,  and  take  the  second  nap,  and 

^  they  do  they  are  done  for — that's  a  fact.    Now  you  take 

the  chart,  and  work  it  yourself,  squire,  for  I'm  no  great  hand 

§t  navigation.    I've  been  a  whaling  voyage,  and  a  few  other 

sea  4rips,  and  I  know  a  little  about  it,  but  not  much,  and  yet, 

,if  I  ain't  pretty  considerable  near  the  mark,  I'll  give  them 

leaVe  to  guess  that  knows  better — that's  all.     Get  your  legis- 

latuir'  to  persuade  government  -to  contract  with  the  Great 

Western  folks  to  carry  the  mail,  and  drop  it  in  their  way  to 

New  York ;  /or  you  got  as  much  and  as  good  coal  to  Nova 

*  ^'^cot^  as  England  has,  and  the  steaiTi-boats  would  have  to 

.  CjBurry  a  supply  for  550  miles  less,  and  could  take  in  a  stock 

.v^t  Halifax  for   the  return  voyage  to  Eurc^.     If  ministers 

v^won't  do  that,  get  'em  to  send  steam  packets  of  their  own,  and 

«^ou  wouldn't  be  no  longe-,an  everlastui'  dUtlaadish  country 

no  more  as  you  be  now.        '  J,  more  nor  that,  you  wouldn't 

hpe  all  the  best  emigrants  ind  sh  tlK;ir  capital,  who  now  go 

^M  the  States 'cause  tho  '  jyage  is  safer,  and  remain  there 

<    'cause  they  arc  tired  of  •..-uvoliin'.  und  can't  get  down  here 

*>   without  ride  of  their  rr*5cioud  necks  ti  lid  ugly  mugs. 

But  J(4m  Bull  is  Lke  all  ;jthe:'  spons>>ble  folks;  he  thinks 
'cause  he  is  rich  he  is  wise  too,  and  knows  every  .thin^r,  when 
in  fact  he  knows  plaguy  lit^e  outside  cf  his  own  location. 
Like  all  other  consaited  folks,  too,  he  don't  allow  iiobody  else 
to  know  nothin'  neither  but  himself.  The  £yetalian  is  too 
lazy,  the  French  too  smirky,  the  Spaniard  too  banditti,  the 
Di^b  tqp  smoky,  the  German  too  dreamy,  the  Scotch  too 
itcny,  the  Irish  too  popoy,  and  the  lankee  too  tricky;  all 
low, »[{  ignorant,  all  poor.  He  thinks  the  noblest  work  of 
God  an  £ngli*hmtin.  He  is  on  eor>3iderable  good  terms 
with  himself,  too,  is  John  Bull,  when  he  has  his  go>to>meet- 
in'  claUies  on,  his  gold-headed  cane  in  h*s  hand,  and  his 
puss  buttoned  up  tight  in  his  trousers  pocket.^  He  wears  his 
hat  9.  Uttle  a  one  side,  rakish-like,  whaps  his  cane  down  ag'in 


i,»iy.!uiiiim|ii»wiuii 


I  |i,imi*>iyi|niii.i      laiiir,)  j7»p) 


the  pavemedt  teri,  as  if  he  intended  to  keep  thinps  in  ^r 
place,  Bwaggerti  a  ^w,  aa  if  he  thMtj^bt  4ie  had  a  nght  to  h»dk 
hiff,  and  stares  at  you  full  and  hafd  inrthe  face,  with  a  kno#- 
Hi°toB8  of  his  head,  as  much  as  to  say, "  I^afame,  <M« 
1^  /**  and  yirho  you  be  I  drniH  know,  and  what's  more  I  doil't 
want  to  know ;  so  clear  the  road  donbie  qbick,  will  you  1 
Tes,  take  John  at  his  own  yaliation,  and  I  guess  yon*d  get  a 
CMisiderable  hard  bargain  of  him,  for  be  is  old^thick  in  the 
wind,  tenCter  in  the  foot,  weak  in  the  knees,  too  cussed -fat  to 
travel,  and  plaguy  cross-grained  and  Ml-tempereC.  If  you  mo 
for  to  raise  your  voic;e  to  him,  or  even  so  much  as  lay  the. 
.weight  of  your  finger  on  him,  his  Ebene«er  is  up  in'a  wktit. 
I  don't  like  him  One  bit,  and  I  donH  know  who  the  plagtte 
doe^ :  but  that's  neitlier  Iiere  nor  there. 

Do  yon  get  your  legislature  to  interfere  in  this  matter ;  for 
steam  navigation  will  be  the  makin'  of  you  if  you  work  it 
right.  It  is  easy,  I  replied*,  to  su^^t,  but  not  quito  so  easy, 
Mr.  Stick,  as  you  suppose,  to  have  these  projects  carried  iWo 
execution.  Government  may  not  be  willing  to  perhiit  the 
mail  to  be  carried  by  contract..  Permit  it  1  said  he  witlr  ani- 
mation ;  to  be  sure  it  will  permit  it.-  Don't  they  grant  every 
thing  you  ask  ?  don't  they  concede  one  thing  arter  another  to ' 
-you  to  keep  you  quiet,  till  they  han't  got  much  left  to  eon- 
cede  ?  It  puts  me  in  mind  of  a  missionary  I  rnce  seed  dOWn 
to  Bows  and  Arrows  (Buenos  Ayres.)  He  went  out  to  con- 
vert the  people  from  bein'  Roman  Catholics,  and  to  ^persuadfe 
the  Spaniards  to  pray  in  English  instead  of  Latin,  and  to  gpt 
dipt  anew  by  him,  and  he  carrieid  sway  there  like  a  hotis^::  a 
fire,  till  the  sharks  one  day  made  a  tarnation  sly  dash  aAiong 
his  convarts  that  was  a  wadin'  put  in  the  Water;*  and  gist 
walked  oflf  witl\  three  on  'em  by  the  legs,  screamin*  and 
yelpin'  like  mad.  Arter  that  he  took  to  a  pond  outside  the 
town,  and  one  day  as  he  was  awalkln'  out  with  his  hands 
behind  him,  ameditatin'  on  that  pre  proihne  trick  the  sharks 
played  him,  and  what  a  slippery  world  this  was,  and  what 
not,  who  should  he  meet  but  a  party  of  them  GrauGhos,4hat 
ealloped  up  to  him  as  quick  as  wink,  and  made  him  prisoner. 
Well,  they  gist  fell  to,  and  not  only  robbed  him  of  all  he  l)ad, 
hut  stripped  him  of  all  his  clothes  but  his  breeches,  and  them 
they  left  him  for  decency  sake  to  get  back  to  town  in.  Poor 
critter!  he  felt  streaked  enough,  I/dq  assure  yon;  hefwas 
near  about  frightened  oirt  of  hit  seven  senses^  he  didn't  know 


UBMUtft  U9   TBS  mBAM. 


l|8  iff  tMIr 
ght  to  took 
th  a  ki»o*r- 

BtKre  I  don't 
,  wiUyoiit  , 
^on*d  got  * 
hick  in  the 
uBsed'fat  to 
If  you  go 
I  as  lay  the. 
jm'ainilkit. 
I  the  jrtagne 

inatter;  fer 
you  work  it 
uite  so  ^rjTt 
I  carried  iWo 
)  pertnit  the  . 
he  witir  ani- 
gmnt  every 
er  another  to ' 
left  to  con-  * 
ce  seed  down 
;  out  to  con-    < 
I  to  -pensuafe 
In,  and  to  get 
ce  a  how   a   . 
r  daiih  allioog 
ter;»and  gist 
creamin'  and 
(id  outside  the 
ilh  his  hand* 
sk  the  sharks 
as,  and  what 
GrauGhoS4|hat 
him  prisoner, 
©fallheljad, 
hes,  and  them 
)wn  in.    Poor 
you;  he»waa 
je  didn't  knoi^ 


Mdnther  he  was  standiB'  <m  his  head  or  his  heels,  and  was 
t^fUva.  a'most  sure  they  were  agoin'  to  murder  him.  So,  said 
ke,  my  beloved  friends,  said  he,  I  beseech  you,  is  there  any 
thfog  more  you  want  of  met  Do  we  want  any  thing  more 
of  you  1  says  they ;  why,  you  han't  got  nothen!  left  but  your 
breeches,  you  nasty,  dirty,  blackguard  heretic  you,  and  do 
you  want  to  part  with  them  tool  and  they  gist  fell  to  and 
welted  him  oil  the  way  into  the  town  with  the  tip  eend  of 
tbeir  lassos,  larfin',  and  hoopin',  and  hollerin'  at  th^  joke 
like  so  many  ravin*  distracted  devils. 

Well,  now,  your  government  is  near  about  as  well  off  as 
t  e  missionfiry  was ;  they've  granted  every  thing  they  had 
•'most,  till  they  han't  got  much  more  than  the  breeches  1^ 
•—the  mere  sovereignty,  and  that's  alK  No,  no ;  gist  you  ax 
for  steam-packets,  and  you'll  get  'em — that's  a  fact.  Oh, 
squire,  if  John  Bull  only  knew  the  valy  of  these  colonies,  he 
would  be  a  great  man,  I  tell  you ;  but  he  don't.  You  can't 
nake  an  account  of  'em  in  dollars  and  cents,  the  cost  on  <Hie 
side,  and  the  profit  on  t'other,  and  strike  the  balance  of  thq 
**iettk  of  the  hull,""  as  that  are  critter  Hume  calls  it.  Yqu 
can't  put  into  figur's  a  nursery  for  seamen ;  a  resource  for 
tinsber  if  the  Baltic  is  shot  ag'in  you,  or  a  population  of  brave 
and  loyal  people,  a  growing  and  sure  market,  an  outlet  for 
emigration,  the  first  fishery  in  the  world,  their  political  and 
feladve  importance,  the  pc»wer  they  would  give  a  rival,  con- 
.verting  a  friend  into  a  foe,  or  a  customer  into  a  rival,  or  a 
shop  full  of  goods,  and  no  'sale  for  'em — Figures  are  the 
r€pr«$enieUivet  of  numbersj  and  not  ihing$.  Molesworth  may 
talk,  and  Hume  may  cypher,  till  one  on  'em  is  as  hearse  as  a 
crow,  and  t'other  as  blind  us  a  bat,  and  they  won't  make  that 
Sable  out,  I  know. 

That's  all  very  true,  I  said,  but  you  forget  that  the  latter 
g^itlcman  says  that  America  is  now  a  better  customer  than 
when  she  was  a  colony,  and  maintains  her  o^n  government 
at  her  own  expense,  and  tlerofore  he  infers  that  the  remain- 
ailjg  dependencies  are  useless  incumbrances.  And  he  forgets 
too,  he  replied,  that  he  made  his  fortin'  himself  in  a  rx>lony, 
and  therefore  it  don't  become  him  to  say  so,  and  that  America 
is -larnin'  to  sell  as  well  as  to  buy,  and  to  manufactur'  as  well 
as  to  import,  and  to  hate  as  much,  and  a  little  grain  more, 
.  than  bhe  loved,  and  that  you  are  weaker  by  all  her  strength. 
He  forgets,  too,  that  them  that  separate  from  a  governuant, 
16 


^•JMMe/JMM  tt  chinch,  always  ha«B  t)Mie  tlMyiMtw  Modi 
NvWM'^ha*  th<Me  whd  «re  bom  in  diflbfMt  atiiles  or  difflMMt 
*liett;  ll'«i  a  ihct,  I  aiiMire  yoa,  Ukmo  crillers  that  dmnndd 
^Wtt'ctmrth  to  eUektille  In  temper  that  lime  about'  the  choioo 
''Iff  an'  tMett  #eiV»  the  only  oaee  that  hated^  and  reviled,  oad 
^^fMOutad  its  in  all  Coaneetiout,  ibrire  were  'Ml  frieadly  or 
lilHitMllemis  with  all  the'n.st.  Keep  a  ^arpbok-oot  alwaya 
IbrdMBftera,  for  when  they  jfne  the  enemy  they  fight  kko  toe 
(itvil.    JVo  one  hittM  like  kins  that  ka$  oneebee^  a  JHtnti* 

Hb  forgets  that  a kit  it's  no  ose  atalkin* ;  you  might  aa 

'ifNrtI  Wmstle  jigs  to  a  mile^stone  as  talk  to  a  goney  that  Mya 
4Mlein millions  of  irivmies  {^re  as  good  a»  fifteen  nuUtons  df 
'jlHeitd$,mil688  indeed  it  is  with  nations  as  with  indi?idoala, 
liMit  it  is  better  io  have  some  folks  ag'in  you  than  for  you,  for 
^Vow  there  are  chaps  In  your  parltaineat  that  ain*t  im>  eredit 
^  iiO'parry. 

-  9att  this  folly  of-  John  Bullaih't  the  worst  of  it,  aquire ;  il^a 
^•l»tr.<denib(e  nidre  siliy  ;  he  invite*  ^  eohmsts  lo  JMUMm 
9m7$'trmp»i4btd  them  pays  all  thewaepenfu  cf  the  eateftatnmeiii, 
<lf  ihat  doo*t  beateock^ghtm',  it^s:&  pity  :  it  fairly  baaga  the 
lash,  that.  If  thare^  a  rebellion  to  Oaoada,  squire,  {end 
Iflifli  will  be'as  aura  as  there  are  snakes  in  Vaiguiy,)  it  wMl 
%|  ptaitned,:  advised,  and  sot  on  foot  in  London,  you  aaay 
wpend,  for  them  -ii^{^  eri^rs  the  Frroeh  would  neirar 
iMikof  it,  if  rhey  were  not  put  up  to: it.  Thenn  that  advise 
^Ipiaer  rebel,  and  set  his  folks  to  murider  Enghshmea,  aad 
^IMllla  io"  httck  them  in  Eiigland,>are  for  everlastinMy  atalkin* 
WaaoaoBiy,  and  yet  instigate  them  parley  vous \to  put  the 
'%Mion  to  ttwe  expense  tbui  they  and  their  party  ever  savad 
^by  all  Ibetr  barking  in  their  life,  or  ever  couki,  if  they  A/eve 
to  live  as  k>ng  as  Merusalem.  If  them  poor  IFrenchman 
"MtwifgiBt  pardon  them  right  off  the  reel  without  say  in'  a 
'^Mtlwl,  for  they  don't  know  nothin',  but  rig  up  a  gallns  in 
'  I'll 


as  high  as  a  ehureh<  steeple,  and  rll  give  you  the 
ofi  few  viHakis  there,  the  cause  of  all  the  murders, 
NtAd  ^artODS,  and  Tobberies,  and  miseries,  .and  stfiierin's  that 
^tt  fotler.  Gist  toke  ^emf  and  string  t'em  up  like  onsafo  ckiga. 
*)h  J^HItfer  that  threnvs  a  firebrand  •  among^  <»mbnstiblcs,  must 
'•niwar  for  the  fire ;  and  when  he  throvrs  it  into  his  neigh* 
<lloai^i  house,  and  not  hisown,  he  is  boUta  coward  and  a 
'^Jtlliii.  Cuss  *em !  haogia'  isrtoo  good  for  'eoi,  I  say ;  don't 
iyiw^«qtitf»r 


Mv, 


iCWlMMn 

t  4Mai«M 
tlwchoiM 
)viM,  Md 
rricMlliror 

Mlt  SiVfttB 

ht  Mile  tbe 

II  might  is 
that  ra^« 
[niUioiis  df 
ndlvidotKls, 
or  you,  for 
't  no  credit 

iquire;  it^a 

EnaVfMIMHi** 

iT  hra^  the 
quire,  (<Bd 
iiiy,)itwai 
,  yoa  «wjr 
ottld  neror 
that  ad  viae 
shmen,  ftfid 
inyatalUtt* 
\to  put  the 
ever  satved 
'  they  A/eve 
Frenchmmi 
jt  sayin'  a 
a  gallua  in 
^e  you  the 
le  murders, 
ferin's  that 
msale  dopi. 
tiUcs,  must 

hb  nei^* 
ward' and '« 

saiy ;  don't 


he  C!loel»N>i(fr 
remarki  in  lua 


i!.>W»:«M»tli»hirtroooveraatfO0  I  had  wi 
«fl^fpliticai  I  haw  eBdaavotATBd  to  give 
mBtk  UQgiiage«,aa4  as  nearly  verbatim  as  I  could;  but  tbegF 
wtMfSQ  desultory  and  diaeursive^  that  tbe^  rather  leaemblwll 
thiolliiw  ak>i4.  than  a,  connected  conversBtwD,  and  bis  iUustcv 
tiowWQ  led  hii«  into;  such  long,  episodest  thai  he  aometiroei 
wMderad  into  newi  t(^p*os  before  he  had  dosed  his  ren^rka 
ri|pn»  thesubject  b«  was  discoursitig  on.  It  is*  I  believe,  qet 
it(9.,.ttnpoinaion  medn,  with  Americans,  when,  they  talk,  to, 
Mummft  lAther  than  conviqce*  Although  there  is  evidently, 
spme  exAggecstion*  there  is  also  a  great  deal  of  truth  in  hwi 
observntipns.  They  are  the  result  of  long  exp^rieno^  and  % 
^ijojUgh  nnd;ifitimate  knowledge  of  the  provinces,  and  I  con*, 
figui-l  think  they  are  «ititled  to  great  weight. 
«  T^banrpf  the  colonies,  as  of  England,  it  appears  to  m% 
if  ultra  opinions.  ^Thecis' Atlantic  uttratory  is  a  nondescript! 
imiraal,  as  well  as  the  ultra,  radicals  Neither  have  the  ssmet 
c^j«ntSfor  theiSJiroe  principles  with  those  in  the  mother  coun-i 
ti^t, whose  names  they  assume.  It  is  difficult  to  say  whioj^ 
dcK^  miQst  injury.  The  violence  of  the  radical  detests  hW, 
own  views  i  the  vi^nce  of  his  opponent  defeats  thoae  of  thet 
goyernni^nt,,  while  both  incite  each  other  to  greater  extremes. 
I^.is  not)  easy  to  define  the  principles  of  either  of  these  ultra,^ 
potiticajl  parties  in  the  colonies.  An  unnatural,  and,  it  would 
m»ear,  ^  personal,  and  therefore  a  contemptible  jealousy,, 
influence^  the  one,  a^d  a  ridiqiilous  assumption  the  ot}ier,  tb% 
s^Ofwllest  possible  amount  of  sAlsry  being  held  as  su^cient  f^ 
1^.  pnbjic  ofQcer  by  the  former,  fmd  the  greater  psrt  of  thi|v 
revenues  inadequate  for  the  purpose  by  the  latter,  while  patri* 
otism  and  loyalty  are  severally  claimed  as  the  exclusive  attri* 
butes  of  each.  As  usual,  extremes  meet ;  the  same  emptiness 
distinguishes  both,  the  same  loud  professions,  the  same  violent 
invectives,  and  the  same  selfishness.  They  are  carnivorour- 
animals,  having  a  strong  appetite  to  devour  their  e'ncmies,  and 
occasionally  showing  no  .repugnance  to  sacrifice  a  friend. 
Amidst  the  clamours  of  these  noisy  disputants,  the  voice  of  the 
thinking  and  moderate  portion  of  the  community  is  drowned, 
and  government  but  too  often  seems  to  forget  the  existence  of 
this  more  numerous,  more  respectable,  and  more  valuable 
class.  He  whoi  adopts  extreme  radicjil  doctrines  in  order  to 
carry  numbers  by  flattering  their  prejudices,  or  he  who 
euNSumes  the  tone  of  the  ultra  tory  of  i^^ngland,  because  he 


!V.«^.  ->\*i«i 


^'.K 


m* 


.  i 


ka^^iiatM  h  to  be  that  of  the  arittoerMy  of  fhaf  eoaHry,  aed 
noi^  current  among  thoee  of  4be  littlo  oetonial  eourte,  betraye 
ft  onee  a  want  of  eenie  and  a  want  of  integrtty;  and  thonM 
be  treated  accofdinsly  by  thoee  iplio  aii  tent  to  adminialer 
Um  govermnait.    liiere  ie  ae  little  aaftty  in  the  eouaeile  of 
thoee  who,  waiof  no  deibet  io  the  iHtitiitieiii«of  their  country* 
or  deeirioff  no  chaaae  beyond  %n  exteneion  of  patronage  and 
ailary,  stiginatiae  all  who  diflbr  ftom  thein  ae  dieeOilfenlgd 
aikd  dialoyal,  ae  there  ie  in  a  party  tMat  caH  for  omaniiM, 
chftntieain  the  conetitution,  for  the  mere  parpoee  of  enp^aMr' 
ing  A»ir  rivals,  by  opening  ntow  sQOfees  of  preferment  ib# 
themeelves.    Instead  of  committing  himself  into  the  hands  of 
either  of  these  factions,  as  is  often  the  case,  and  theiieby  at 
once  inviting  and  defjrinp  the  opposition  of  the  other,  # 
gOivernor  should  be  instruc  '^d  to  avdd  them  both,  and  to 
assemble  around  him  for  council  those  only  who  partake  iMt  of 
^  eelfishness  of  the  one  or  the  violence  m  the  other,  but  who, 
uniting  firmness  with  moderation,  are  not  afraid  totredreMi<# 
grievance  because  it  involves  a  change,  or  to  uphold  the  estabii' 
mbed  institutions  of  the  country  bMause  it  exposes  them  W 
the  charge  of  corrupt  motives.     Such  men  exist  hi  evefjf' 
colony ;  and  thoush  a  governor  nnay  not  find  them  the  m00: 
prominent,  he  will  at  least  find  ^hem  the  surest  and  safost 
guides  in  the  end.    Such  a  course  of  policy  will  softenr  the 
asperities  of  party,  by  stripping  it  of  success,  will  raHy  round 
Ham  local  gbvemroents  men  of  property,  integrity,  and  talent ; 
and  inspire  by  its  impartiality,  moderation,  and  consieteneyi 
a  fooling  of  satufoction  and  confidence  through  the  whcM 
popuTation. 


■;:■  i 


w 


ilrff  abd 

ifbtlnyt 
id  thooM 

alllllllfl6f 

uneiltof 
oouotryf 
iMg»aiM 
BomeMSB 

ment  ibr< 
hand*  of 
befieby  fet 
other,  • 
,  and  to 
,ke  not  of 
but  who,' 
redreM* 
Jheestabx 
I  them  to 
m  every 
the  moil 
sd  saftat 
oflenr  the 
Hy  round 
id  talent!' 
laiatency^ 
le  whcriO 


m  cumtHmmk^mnmir  AOfum,  !(!§{ 


•      CHAPTER  XXni. 

THE  dUSCnCAKIKB  PAimNQ  ADVKI. 

JUtiii0  DOW  fiilfilled  bia  ei^^^nneat  with  me,  BIr.  Sliolf,, 
infiyvmad  mo  ttial  buainen  wquirea  bis  preaenca  i^  the  rival 
PhA\pt  and*  that  aa  be  could  oelay  hb  dcqpartwre  no  looger«  hai 
had  GaUed  ior  the  purpose  of  taking  leave.  I  am  pblguy  loaUi 

makM  ma  ^ 
'tb%vaa 


to^jpiart  with  you,  aaid  be,  you  ma^  depend;  it  t 
qinte  ioneaum  like :  but  I  ain*t  quite  certifieid  we 


quite 


^Hk'i> 


towor  in  Europe  yet  afore  we*ve  done*     You  have  a  pair  ot. 
pialola,  8quire,--aa  neat  a  little  pair  of  aneeaem  aa  I  e*eB 

a^naat  eyet  aeed»  and They  are  yours,  I  aaid ;  I  am  gla4^ 

y9^<  Uke  them,  and  I  assure  you  you  could  pot  gratUV  am 
mora  than  by  doin^  me  the  mvour  to  accept  iharo.  That** 
gJMl  what  I  was  agom*  to  say,  said  he,  and  I  brought  my  riiki 
bote  to  as  you  to  exchange  for  'em ;  it  will  sometimes  pui 
you  b  mind  of  Sam  Slick  the  Clockmaker,  and  them  are  littW 
piaiob  are  auch  grand  pocket  com|»nibns,  there  won*t  be  It 
day  ft'moat  I  won't  think  of  the  squire.  He  then  exiuniiMd 
the  lock  of  the  rifle,  turned  it  over,  and  looked  at  the  stocky 
and  bringing  it  to  his  shoulder,  ran  his  eye  along  th«  barj^, 
aa  if  in  the  act  of  dischargiaff  it.  True  as  a  hair,  squire^, 
tbara  can't  be  no  better ;  and  Uiere's  the  mould  for  the  oalhi 
that  gist  fit  her ;  you  may  depend  on  het  to  a  sa^nty ;  shell 
never  deceive  you ;  there^s  no  mistake  in  a  rael  ri^  dowa. 
gOBuiaiae  good  S^ntuck,  I  tell  you ;  but  as'  you  oiu't  vmxXL 
uaed  to  'em,  always  bring  her  slowly  up  to  the  line  of  8ighlt», 
and  then  let  go  as  soon  as  you  have  the  range.  If  you  bring; 
her  down  to  the  sight  instead  of  up,  sbe^U  be  apt  to  settle  f^ 
little  below  it  in  your  hands,  and  carry  low.  That  wrinkle  la 
worth  bavin',  I  telt  you ;  that's  a  fact.  Take  time,  elevate 
her  alowly,  ao  as  to  catoh  the  range  to  a  hair,  and  you'll  hit  a 
dollwr  at  seventy  yanls  hand  runnm'.  I  can  take  the  eyet>f 
a  aquirrel  out  with  her  aa  easy  as  kiss  mv  hand.  A  fair  ex- 
change is  no  robbery  any  how,  and  I  shall  set  great  store  by 
them  are  pistoln,  you  may  depend. 

Hbving  finished  that  are  little  trade,  squire,  there  is  another 
aimdl  matter  I  want  to  talk  over  with  you  afora  I  qtjut»  U|Afc 
16* 


TUB  OE^OCtMAnilL 


i  i 


perhaps  it  would  be  as  well }  )U  and  I  onderstood  each  other 
upon.  What  is  thatT  said  1.  Why,  the  last  time,  squire, 
said  he,  I  travelled  with  you,  you  published  our  tower  in  % 
book,  and  there  were  si.iru'.  notions  in  it  ^ave  me  a  plaguy 
•ight  of  oneasiness ;  that's  a  iact.  Some  thmgs  you  coloured 
•o,  I  didn't  know  'em  when  I  seed  'em  ag'in ;  some  things 
3rott  left  out  holus  bolus,  and  ihere  wero  some  small  matters  I 
liever  heerd  tell  of  afore  till  I  seed  them  writ  down ;  you  ihust 
have  made  them  out  of  v  hole  cloth.  When  I  went  home  to 
see  about  the  stock  1  had  u  the  Slickville  bank,  folks  scolded 
a  cood  deal  about  it.  They  said  it  wam't  the  part  of  a  good 
citizen  for  to  so  to'^puhlish  any  thing  to  lessen  our  great  nation 
in  the  eyes  of  foreigners,  or  to  lower  the  exalted  station  we 
had  among  the  nations  of  the  airth.  They  said  the  dignity 
of  the  American  people  was  at  stake,  and  they  were  deter- 
mined some  o'  these  days  to  go  to  war  wi^h  the  Gnfflish  if  they 
didn't  give  up  some  o  their  writers  to  be  punisned  by  Our 
laws ;  aitvi  that  if  any  of  our  citizens  was  accessory  ta  such 
practices,  and  they  cotched  him,  they'd  giye  him  an  Americijn 
jacket,  that  is,  a  warp  of  tar,  and  a  nap  wove  of  feathers.  I 
don't  foel,  therefore,  altogether  easy  'bout  your  new  book ;  I 
should  like  t6  see  it  afore  we  part,  to  soften  down  things  s, 
little,  and  to  have  matters  sot  to  rights,  afore  the  slang- 
whangers  get  hold  of  it.  ^ 

I  think,  too,  atyireen  you  and  nie,  you  had  ought  to  let  me 

¥>  sheers  in  the  speck,  for  I  hav^  suffered  considerable  by  it. 
he  clock  trade  is  done  now  in  this  province ;  there's  an  eend 
to  that ;  you've  put  a  toggle  into  that  chain ;  you  couldn't 
give  *em  away  now  a'most.  Our  folks  are  not  over  and  above 
well  pleased  with  me,  I  do  assure  you ;  and  the  blue-noses  say 
I  have  dealt  considerable  hard  with  them.  They  are  plaguy 
ryled-,  you  may  depend ,  and  the  English  have  come  in  for 
their  share  of  the  curryin'  too.  I  han't  made  many  friends 
by  it,  I  know ;  and  if  there  is  any  thing  to  be  made  out  of  the 
consarn,  I  think  it  no  more  than  fair  I  should  have  my  share 
of  it.  One  thing,  however,  I  hope  you  will  promise  me,  and 
that  ia  to  show  me  the  manuscript  afore  you  let  it  go  out  of 
your  hands.  Certainly,  said  I,  Mr.  Slick,  I  shall  have  great 
pleasure  in  reading  it  over  to  you  before  it  goes  to  the  press ; 
and  if  there  is  any  thing  in  it  that  will  corhpromise  you  with 
your  countrymen,  or  injure  your  feelings,  I  will  strike  oiit  the 
otjftfctioiuible  passage,  or  soften  it  down  to  meet  your  wishes.' 


THB  OLOCflumt  rARTIVO   AOVIOI. 


MT 


each  odwr 
me,  sqiiirtt 
tower  in  « 
ne  a  plaguy 
ou  coloured 
lOme  thiuga 
ill  mattera  I 
1 ;  you  ikiust    ' 
iDt  home  to 
blks  acolded 
rt  of  a  good 
great  nation 
1  station  we 
I  the  dignity 
were  deter- 
ifflishifthey 
shed  by  dur 
M>ry  to  such 
an  American 
feathers.    I 
lew  book;  | 
iwn  things  a 
i  the  slang- 

ht  to  let  me 
arable  by  it. 
;re*s  an  eend 
you  couldn't 
it  and  above 
ue-noses  say 

are  plaguy 
come  in  for 
nany  friends 
de  out  of  the 
ve  my  share 
lise  me,  and 
it  go  out  of 

have  great 
to  the  press ; 
ise  you  with 
itrike  oiit  the 
your  wishea* 


I  presume  I  may  < 
You  don't  like  repi 
matters  so  it's  eas} 


W«I1,  said  be,  that's  pretty ;  now  I  Uk«  that ;  and  if  you  takt 
A  iancy  to  travel  in  the  Statea,  of  to  taka  a  tower  in  Buropa» 
rm  your  man.  Send  me  a  line  to  Slickville,  and  I'll  jina  yon 
where  vou  like  and  when  you  like.  I  ahall  be  in  HaliAz  in 
a  month  from  the  present  time,  and  will  call  and  sao  you ; 
p'rapa  vou  will  have  the  book  ready  then ; — and  pieaenting 
me  with  his  rifle,  and  putting  the  piatola  in  hia  pocket,  ha  tooK 
leave  of  me,  and  drove  into  the  country. 

Fortunately,  when  he  arrived  I  had  the  manuacript  com* 
plated ;  and  when  I  had  finished  reading  it  to  him,  he  delibe- 
rately lit  his  ( 'gar<  '  folding  his  arms,  and  throwing  hinh 
self  back  in  his  ch»    ,  which  he  balanced  on  two  legs,  he  sat  1,. 

ha.  is  your  object  in  writing  that  book) 
that's  sartam,  for  you  have  coloured 
^cc  which  way  the  cat  jumps.  Do  ywi 
mean  to  write  a  satire  on  our  great  nation,  and  our  free  and 
enlightened  citizens  1 — because  if  you  do,  gist  rub  my  name 
out  of  it,  if  you  please.  I'll  have  libither  art  nor  part  in  it ; 
I  won't  have  nothin'  to  do  fvith  it  on  no  account  It's  a  dirty 
bird  that  fouls  its  own  nest.  I'mi  not  agoin'  for  to  wake  up  a 
awarm  o'  hornets  about  my  ears,  I  tell  you ;  I  know  a  trick 
worth  two  0'  that,  I  reckon.  Is  it  to  serve  a  particular  pur- 
pose, or  is  it  a  mere  tradin*  speck  7 

I  will  tell  you  candidly,  sir,  what  my  object  ia,  I  replied. 
In  the  Canadas  there  is  a  party  advocating  republican  institu- 
tions, and  hostility  to  every  thing  British.  In  doing  so,  they 
exaggerate  all  the  advantages  of  such  a  form  of  government, 
and  depreciate  the  blessings  of  a  limited  monarchy.  In  Eng- 
land this  party'  unfortunately  finds  too  many  supporters,  either 
from  a  misapprehension  of  the  true  state  of  the  case,  or  from 
a  participation  in  their  treasonable  views.  The  sketches  con- 
tamed  in  the  present  and  preceding  series  of  the  Clockmaker, 
it  is  hoped,  will  thrpw  some  light  on  the  topics  of  the  day,  aa 
connected  with  the  designs  of  the  anti^English  party.  The 
object  is  purely  patriotic.  I  beg  of  you  to  be  assured  that  I 
b^ve  no  intention  whatever  to  ridicule  your  institutions  or 
your  countrymen ;  nothing  can  be  fiirther  from  my  thoughta ; 
and  it  would  give  me  greal  pain  if  I  could  suppose  for  a  mo- 
ment that  any  person  could  put  such  an  interpretation  upon 
my  conduct.  I  like  your  country,  and  am  proud  to  number 
npany  citizens  of  the  United  States  among  those  whom  I  honour 
and  love. .  It  ia  contentment  with  our  own,  and  not  cUsparaga- 


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23  WIST  MAIN  STRUT 

WEBSTIR.N.Y.  14SI0 

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